How to Protect Your Peace During the Holidays (Without Feeling Overwhelmed)

The holidays aren’t always joyful. Sometimes they come with pressure, expectations, and a lot of invisible emotional weight.

In this mini-episode, Felicia and Christalyn pause before Season 2 to check-in, share their own family traditions, and offer guidance for navigating the season without losing yourself. 

Inside this conversation:

• The truth about holiday stress and why this time of year feels heavier than it looks, especiall for high-achieving women.
• How we each shape (and simplify) our Thanksgiving and Christmas plans
• Why it’s okay if you need more quiet, more space, or fewer commitments this year
• Choosing one non-negotiable that keeps you steady in a busy week
• Practical boundaries for your time, energy, and emotional capacity
• How to handle uncomfortable questions, expectations, or old family dynamics
• A reminder that joy doesn’t have to look big — small, simple moments count too

✨ Fuel for the Road Ahead:
Before the holiday rhythm picks up, ask yourself:
What do I need this season, and am I willing to honor that?

🎧 Listen now and give yourself permission to move into the week with clarity, calm, and compassion for your own limits.

Season 2 is coming soon, and we can’t wait to grow with you.

New episodes drop every week.

🔗 Resources & Announcements

We’re building a supportive online community.
Stay tuned for ways to connect with us off the podcast and meet other listeners on the journey.

Let’s Stay Connected

Follow the show on Instagram → @trustingherjourneypodcast
Follow Felicia → @soulguidedhealing_wellness
Follow Christalyn → @christalynthecounselor

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Got a topic you’d love us to cover, or a story to share?
Email us: hello@trustingherjourney.com

If this episode resonated with you, share it with a friend who needs it.

Looking for Therapy?

Christalyn is a Licensed Professional Counselor in South Carolina. She offers faith-integrated therapy for women navigating burnout, boundaries, and emotional exhaustion.
→ carolinacounselingsc.com

Felicia is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Licensed Mental Health Therapist in Virginia, Georgia, and Texas,  She provides trauma-informed, somatic-based therapy for women ready to heal and reconnect with themselves.
→ soulguidedhealing...

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Trust in Her Journey Podcast. I'm Felicia.

SPEAKER_01 0:03

And I'm Crystalin.

SPEAKER_00 0:05

This podcast is a safe space for women who are caring a lot, women who are trying to trust themselves again while managing the weight of their roles and responsibilities.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

We know what it's like to feel stretched thin because you're constantly showing up for everyone and putting your own needs last. Here we have honest conversations about the silent struggles many women face.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

We're so glad you're here. In every episode, we'll talk about the real challenges women navigate, whether it's juggling work and family, carving out time for yourself, or learning to trust your instincts again.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

You'll hear us share personal stories and lessons from our experience to help you trust your path and rethink what peace and balance actually looks like for you.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Our goal is to guide you through the hard moments with honest conversations about boundaries, self-care, and leaning on your face for strength.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

If you've been feeling overwhelmed, unseen, or unsure about how to care for yourself while caring for everyone else, you're in the right place.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

Just a quick heads up: this podcast isn't a substitute for working with a licensed counselor or therapist. But don't worry, if you need that kind of support, we've got some resources for you in the show notes. Let's start the conversation. Hey y'all, welcome back to Trust and Her Journey. How are you, Crystal? Excited. I'm so excited. Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off. No, it's okay. It's been a minute since we've been on the mic, so it feels good to connect again. And I'm super excited too. So I understand. I understand completely. How have you been?

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Good. I'm I'm excited to be on the mic again too. And just to see you because it's been a while. Yeah. Yes. Um, y'all know we Felicia and I do not live in the same state. I'm in South Carolina.

SPEAKER_00 1:59

I know, and I'm in Virginia, and it sucks, but we can't wait until we can see each other in person and record a podcast, do a live taping or recording of a podcast. That's gonna be exciting.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

It is really exciting.

SPEAKER_00 2:14

Today, we just wanted to drop in quickly. Um, it's not gonna be like our normal episode where we yap for 30 or 40 minutes. This is uh, we miss y'all. We just want to check in a little bit um and let you know that we're thinking about you before the holidays um and provide just like some tips that can be helpful as we enter this holiday season because we know how it can be overwhelming for some, overwhelming in a good way, which is exciting, sharing time and creating memories with family, but we also know it can be overwhelming with stress and expectations and demands. So we just wanted to briefly um provide you with some support that we hope will be helpful for you in in a way that it has been helpful for us over the years. But before we get there, we thought it would be cool to kind of give y'all a taste of what we do for the holidays or how we navigate exactly or what we decide not to do for the holidays. So, what how would you describe the holiday season for you, Chris Lynn?

SPEAKER_01 3:30

So I love the holiday season, I love um switching out the decor. I am uh put my Christmas tree up November 1st, girly. Oh, wow, yep, okay. I work, we work hard. My daughter and I we work hard on my our tree, and so we want to be able to enjoy it. So we put our tree up the first of November so we can enjoy it for two months instead of just one month.

SPEAKER_00 3:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:54

Um, so that's usually how we start our holiday season. And um Thanksgiving, so my immediate family is smaller, as far as like the my family I'm married into, smaller. It's just myself and my husband and my daughter and my mother-in-law. That's who we get together. I don't get together with my um my siblings and my parents for Thanksgiving. Um, we typically save that for Christmas. That's the way we've been doing it for the last few years. I like it that way. Um, we have our routines, we have the way that we the food we like to eat, and we don't have to share it with everybody we want to. So there's more leftovers for us. Yeah. Um, before I became a mom, we did all the things. We went from house to house, seeing everybody. Um, and it was fun. Yeah, but it was exhausting um because for lots of reasons, and I think reasons that are obvious for a lot of people, but it was just really exhausting, um, fulfilling in a lot of ways too, because I love my family, but it just made the days really long. And so we decided, you know, just about four five years ago that we were just gonna do things, just the four of us, and it's been working really well.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

Oh wow, I love that. Um, for us it's a little different. So, Thanksgiving, uh, we normally kind of bounce between my family and my husband's family. Um, it's not stressful. I mean, it is a lot, you know, but we'll either go back to our hometown or we'll go to my family, which we go to my aunt's house. She lives in Maryland, so all of my cousins are there, their kids are there. Um I love it because it it brings me back to childhood being with my cousins. Like we were all close, like we're still close. We grew up together. So watching our kids get to experience that now is beautiful to see. So it's the bounce between the two. But for Christmas, we're very adamant about we're either with my mom and my brother, or and we share that time with my mother-in-law, sister-in-law, and like same my other side of the family. So it's it's very strategic in that way. I think you shared it too, where before we had kids, we did kind of go around to different houses, just like it's YOLO, you know, you didn't have to worry about wrapping presents or doing all of the things. And now we're like, yeah, not today. We're gonna keep it very simple. We're gonna keep it simple, um, and you know, as less complicated as possible. Um it works for us, we love it. And I also know that still for me, I can speak on traveling in general can be overwhelming because we're preparing not just for me and my husband, but now two kids and two younger kids at that. Like, you know, they don't know what to pack for themselves. And so I'm always like, yes, I'm I'm excited to see family and spend time with them, but man, I hate the process of packing and remembering things and thinking about all of that stuff. And so we brought this conversation up because we do know how easy it is for us to get caught up in taking care of everyone else and put ourselves on the back burner during this process. So we really wanted to talk about what it could look like for you to hold on to yourself during this holiday season.

SPEAKER_01 7:38

Yeah. So I know there was a time where I was not necessarily doing that. I was just kind of, well, you said yellow, right? I mean, we decide what we're gonna do on Christmas morning.

SPEAKER_00 7:53

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

There's no room for that now. There has to be a plan. And I think um it's okay if you have a season where you can kind of just wing it and do whatever you whatever feels right for you in the moment. And it's okay if you need a plan. If that's what reduces how stressed and overwhelmed you feel, yeah, then have a plan. We want to enter this season. We want you all to enter this season with gentleness, yes, with ease, without guilt, without feeling like you have to do things out of obligation. That requires you to be aware of what you need. That requires you to pause, check in with yourself, notice how you feel. Are you experiencing some aches and pains? Are you noticing like I'm getting I have a headache every day, or I'm a little bit more irritable? You might want to notice what's happening with you, or notice that you feel a little more angst when you get closer to the day of Thanksgiving. And is it because you gotta go to the auntie house you don't really want to go to?

SPEAKER_00 8:55

Right.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

Or is it because right, or is it you know, is it because you're excited and that's really what you're feeling? And both are okay. You just need to know what's happening in your body, and that requires us to take inventory. We don't want you all to be functioning in survival mode, we don't want you all to be doing things just because this is the way we've always done things. Um, so today we want to leave you with a couple of tips for how to help you to stay grounded during the holiday season, just a couple things that you can do that'll help you feel more like yourself.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

Yes. So I'll kick it off for the first tip. We want you to choose one non-negotiable thing for yourself. So just one. We don't want you to add five and six. Now, if you have the capacity to do that, that's amazing. But just start with, just start with one. So if you're someone that's like, I enjoy my quiet time, whether you're visiting family, whether you're with friends, or even in the comfort of your own home, just because it's Thanksgiving or Christmas, do not skip out on still having your quiet time. Create that space. If you have to get up a few minutes earlier, if you have to stay in the bathroom a few minutes longer, that's true. That's true. It doesn't have to be the normal way that you experience your quiet time, but still find a way to create that. Um, it could be taking a walk. Now, if you know that you are very big on walking every day, you try to get your steps, please do not feel like you can't get your steps on Thanksgiving. Get up. That could also be a double dose of I'm going on a walk and I'm also using this opportunity to be in silence before I'm around family members, before my energy may be drained because I'm having conversations that make me feel uncomfortable. I'm talking about things that I don't necessarily want to talk about, which you don't have to do that, by the way. But I know some of us feel obligated to answer family members' questions. So get some of that time by yourself. Even in those moments, speaking of um answering questions that make us feel uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_01 11:17

Sometimes coming back to that. I knew it.

SPEAKER_00 11:20

Listen, listen, I'm gonna let you handle the other portion. But I just want you all to remember to take a deep breath. When someone is saying something to you that you know is not what you're feeling right now, you don't have to be so quick to respond and give it you mean like asking you about your womb or asking you about your marital status. You know, that's always a question, or asking you about your relationship, or some people asking for money, or checking your bank account, all of the things. It is okay to exercise boundaries in that moment, and it's also okay to take a deep breath and decide I'm not gonna respond to that. I'm gonna walk away. I'm actually gonna go get seconds or thirds on my plate. Um I'm not going to more on my plate. We just want you to remember that whatever you decide is your non-negotiable, please make that your anchor this holiday season. Make sure that you remain rooted in that as you go throughout time with family, even at work, or even just being around others that you know make you feel a little off at times.

SPEAKER_01 12:38

Got you feeling some type of way. I'm gonna take a deep breath.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

Okay, good. Good job, good job.

SPEAKER_01 12:47

Well, but and I've had to practice that over the years. Yeah, so yes, the holidays, spending time with family, they certain family members can take that as their opportunity to get in your business.

SPEAKER_00 13:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

And well, y'all heard what Felicia said, so yeah, setting boundaries is important. I think the more the more we think about the holidays and the more we think about the pressure we feel to kind of show up to everything and buy all the gifts and overcommit yourself with your time. I that helps me to know that a lot of times we are functioning out of obligation or just kind of doing things because that's how we've always done things. And so the pressure can come so fast. Can you cook this? Can you run that errand? Can you watch the kids? And can you come back tomorrow? All these different things. You don't even recognize that number one, you're not even okay with this. Number two, you haven't been able to enjoy the holiday season. So plan your boundaries ahead of time. Go ahead and decide before you say yes to the invitation, or before you say yes to what you're gonna prepare or what time you're gonna be there, take some inventory. What is it that I need to be well? Like Felicia mentioned, you know, if you are a walker or you or a gym girly, or if you need your one cup of coffee, like don't leave the house if you hadn't had your coffee, if that's what you need. Don't overlook yourself, overlook your needs just for the sake of showing up for everybody else. That is not what the holiday season is about. That's not anything that's gonna honor you. It definitely doesn't honor God by not taking care of yourself. We have we get one body, we get one chance at this life. So do it well. Um, and then if you can't do something, I can't not this year. Well, you always make the whatever the maximum chance. I know, but I can't this year. Yeah, you can say you're sorry if you want, if you really are sorry, but if you're not, I just can't. Or if that's too hard for you, maybe I can't, but I can show you how, I can tell you how, I can take you in the directions, I can walk you through how to do it, I can let you know what to get from the store, I can do that for you. If you feel like just saying a blanket no is not gonna work for you, so you can set a boundary with yourself by I'm not going to overcommit my time and my energy. That's the boundary with yourself, and the boundary with the other people is I'm not gonna answer questions that I'm uncomfortable answering. I'm not gonna prepare another dish if I'm just not up for it this year, or I don't have the money to buy the ingredients, right? We don't need to be out here charging up our credit cards to buy gifts and to buy food and doing all the things because this is what you always do, or you don't want to let people down, or you don't want people to know your ends are not meeting this month. Yeah, so practice boundaries in that way, financial boundaries, boundaries with your time. If you say you are gonna be back home by six or whatever, then leave. Yeah, go home. That way you won't get back and you're exhausted, and you look back on the day and you're like, Why did I why did I do this to myself? I know I've experienced that before. I don't know about you, Felicia. Yeah, but every time I cross a boundary that I said do a thing I said I wasn't gonna do, when I'm done, I'm like, why did I do that to myself again? Yeah, let's not do that this holiday season.

SPEAKER_00 16:23

Yeah, and and if there is a space where you're feeling like, okay, they can easily say no or whatever or sorry, and then you still realize that there is guilt there. We actually have an episode in season one that talks about um how guilt can come up when we're setting boundaries. So if you feel that that is where you're at in this journey of setting boundaries and learning how to be in relationship with other people, I would encourage you to please go back and listen to that episode because we give full details on like how you can process the guilt and still hold yourself true to the boundaries that you're setting. I didn't want to throw that little plug in there, but just in case you're feeling that way, and this is not one of those longer episodes where we go deep into here's how you can work through that. Please go back and listen to that episode um in season one because we go a little deeper in how you can deal with guilt while setting boundaries.

SPEAKER_01 17:30

Yes, you all deserve peace this holiday season and joy, not doing things, not continuing to do things that drain you. Um, and we hope that these um some of these tips we gave will help you to kind of stay connected with yourself and help you to show up in a way that even your family members will can still they can still enjoy being around you. So this is not about you pulling yourself away from family. We chose to just kind of be on our own during the holiday season because it works for us now. Christmas, yeah. Oh, I'm the good kind of tired on Christmas. Yeah, I'm going, I'm doing all the things Christmas Eve with my family, Christmas Day, and it's great. But I use Thanksgiving as a way to kind of restore my energy, right? And kind of do what I need to do for myself because I'm preparing for how amazingly exhausting Christmas Day is.

SPEAKER_00 18:24

Yeah, yeah. No, that makes a lot of sense. Okay, before we close out, I am curious to hear what is your non-negotiable dish for Thanksgiving? Like, what do you have to have for Thanksgiving?

SPEAKER_01 18:37

You can do two, I'll give you two. What do I for Thanksgiving? I have to have a mac and cheese.

SPEAKER_00 18:43

Okay, same.

SPEAKER_01 18:44

And I'm I do not want a roux.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

Oh my god, no, okay.

SPEAKER_01 18:49

I want a stiff macaroni and cheese. The bake, the back in the day with an egg. I need an egg, eggs, go and macaroni and cheese. Sorry, did I get loud?

SPEAKER_00 19:02

Okay, you've been seeing that whole conversation on TikTok right now.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

Okay, so we're going macaroni and cheese. Yes. I mean, maybe you don't have to do eggs during the throughout the year, but in the during the holidays, we're not making no sauce. I'm cutting my cheese into cubes. I'm going to hand shrimp my blocks of cheese. I'm going to use my milk and the egg. Yes. And collar greens.

unknown 19:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

So macaroni cheese and collar.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 19:30

I'm the same. I need Mac and I need some greens, but I'm gonna add me an extra thing. I need a sweet potato pie. I need that. Well, it's listen, I need a sweet potato pie. Don't bring you a dish. Yes, yes, and I know we can eat that all year long, but it's just something about a sweet potato pie and Thanksgiving that's just going to hit every single difference.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

But who I don't want a sweet potato pie in July, it's just not the same.

SPEAKER_00 20:01

It's not the same. I'm not saying not give it. No, that's real. It is not the same. Okay, so I we just I wanted to hear that. I thought that that would be cool to hear. Um, if y'all want to share in the comments um on YouTube what your non-negotiable dish is, please tell us because we would love to hear that. Now, we just want y'all to know season two is coming real soon, and we can't wait to go deeper with y'all. I'm actually super excited for season two. I feel like it is a direct reflection of my life right now. So you'll probably get some raw, raw information about what's going on, but we are so excited for that. Um, of course, we can't wait to get back on the mic and talk to y'all on a weekly basis. But until then, we do hope that you take real good care of yourself. Please make sure that you prioritize yourself and your family over the holiday season and give yourself permission to honor your needs. Whatever needs you have, just give yourself permission to honor those. And we will talk to you all soon. Bye. Peace. That's it for today's conversation. We're so glad you joined us.

SPEAKER_01 21:25

If this episode spoke to you, we'd love for you to subscribe, share with a friend, or leave us a review. It helps more women like you find this space.

SPEAKER_00 21:33

Join us next time for another honest conversation. Until then, take care of yourself and trust your journey.