Viral TikTok Fame and THAT House Fire - THE SMITHY FAMILY: Raw & Unfiltered

It starts in a garage. Not the cool, Top Gear kind — more the “don’t touch that wire or you’ll see Jesus early” kind. One flickering light, a half-working soundboard, and a host trying to sound professional while his neighbour starts a leaf blower. Welcome to Definitely Not Therapy, where deep chats meet dodgy electrics.

We kick off with laughs — bad dad jokes, worse life choices — before rolling straight into the heavy stuff: grief, co-parenting, and that glorious myth of the “proper job.” You’ll hear how one guest kept filming from a Travelodge after his house literally burned down, why co-parenting should come with hazard pay, and how sometimes the bravest thing you can do is not post when your kids are watching.

Social media doesn’t escape either. We unpack how brands say they love “authenticity” until you actually show feelings, why virality is a liar, and what it takes to rebuild when the algorithm ghosts you harder than your ex. Expect dark humour — the kind that gets you through the worst days, not cancels you — and some unfiltered truth about mental health, trauma, and trying to stay kind in a comment section full of chaos.

Then we zoom out: schools that kill creativity, jobs that still think Wi-Fi is witchcraft, and a system that loves stats about “kids from care” but not the actual kids. The punchline? We’re still here. Still creating. Still proving that success doesn’t always wear a tie or come with HR approval.

So if you’ve ever laughed through pain, cried in the car park, or tried to make a podcast in a garage that smells like WD-40 and regret — this one’s for you.

👉 If it made you laugh, think, or shout “same,” hit follow, leave a review, and send this to someone who needs to know they’re not the only one hanging on by a dodgy extension lead.

Got a story that’s messy, raw, or just too real for polite company?
 📧 Email: onlydanlawrence@gmail.com

📸 Instagram: @DanLawrenceComedy

🎧 Podcast: @DefinitelyNotTherapyPod

📘 Facebook: Dan Lawrence

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00
It's definitely not therapy.
SPEAKER_04: 0:02
My first ever in-person podcast that's gone all the way in out for us.
SPEAKER_01: 0:07
You can't see behind us, right? But I can assure you we are actually in a garage. Well, shed.
SPEAKER_04: 0:13
You'd never no, it's a garage. Don't worry.
SPEAKER_01: 0:15
There's electrical problems, and we've nearly been blown up.
SPEAKER_04: 0:17
Don't talk about the electrical problems. That's not it.
SPEAKER_01: 0:19
It's it's everything in this room been pack tested.
SPEAKER_04: 0:21
It's a don't bring that up. It's a studio, and that's all that people need to know. It's a pro a professional studio. Don't so welcome to another episode of Definitely Not Therapy. I shouldn't have shown it. I shouldn't have shown in the buttons, if I'm honest. That's that's my mistake. It's definitely not therapy.
SPEAKER_01: 0:42
By the way, we brought you on here because you need therapy, and we're here to help you. We brought you on, Jack.
SPEAKER_04: 0:48
Also, this is definitely not therapy. I do have therapy for legal reasons, I have to say that it's definitely not therapy.
SPEAKER_01: 0:54
Right, so basically, today, guys, definitely not therapy is gonna be what was a phone call about then?
SPEAKER_04: 1:00
Don't worry about the phone call. We're not we're not talking about the phone call. That's the no no, because you're in this one, so he can lean forward.
SPEAKER_01: 1:06
Yeah, I'll fill out the situation. Oh, okay. You weren't even meant to be in the situation. You just like instead of Fuck you, you prick sitting in the car, you're like, oh, I'll sit in the corner.
SPEAKER_02: 1:16
No? No, I never said that.
SPEAKER_04: 1:17
You've upgraded yourself from sitting in the car to sit to being on a podcast.
SPEAKER_02: 1:22
This is definitely not therapy.
SPEAKER_00: 1:40
It's definitely not therapy.
SPEAKER_04: 1:42
This is the first ever podcast I've recorded like live in person, and I'm actually glad. Like, so we do a lot of we would we say comedy content. We make content a lot of the time. Comedy, it's just not funny. It's just not funny, which is the opinion of a lot of people. Definitely not funny. Definitely not funny. That's what that's what my definitely not funny. That's what my Facebook page should be called, actually. Fuck, I shouldn't have shown that. Why have I shown him that button? But also, like behind the scenes, we do we do like we have conversations, we talk, we talk, and we've we've we've had some quite deep conversations about stuff, which it'd be interesting to sort of open up on a couple of bits today.
SPEAKER_01: 2:20
It's like open mic, I can be as truthful as whatever I want. Yeah, you can be as truthful and as open as you want. I think if I was to like look directly at Cara and say lose. Now you never know what I said, but what I did say was definitely true, though.
SPEAKER_04: 2:31
So it was definitely true. It was definitely true.
SPEAKER_01: 2:36
So but it's like we can't like so we can't talk freely anyway.
SPEAKER_04: 2:40
Well, you can talk freely, I'll just have to edit it out. But also, it's not like this is meant to be a podcast about talking about you know raising awareness for men's mental health. And for me, I just one of the things I wanted to bring up, and the and the reason I I kind of was quite keen to do this with you, I've referenced this before, we've spoken about this before. But like a lot of people, and you you will hopefully agree with this, like social media is a fuck is such a fickle industry, yeah. And you guys have all for the most part done everything yourselves, yeah. Because you don't work, you don't do a lot of collabs, you don't work with a lot of people, it's just you guys.
SPEAKER_01: 3:12
There's not a proper job, yeah.
SPEAKER_04: 3:13
We don't have proper jobs, no, no, which which is the main thing. I I you probably get told told it all the time. I get told get a proper job.
SPEAKER_01: 3:20
Yeah, but also, what is a proper job? What we're not in 1990. I mean, if you think about it, let's listen. I know we're divulging off the thing, but what is a proper job? Because if you look back to 60 years ago, before there was Tesco's and ASDAs and things like that, where people could go and work doing the big shops like that, people were working for themselves, having a fruit of red stool, things like that, working for themselves. Yeah, so but would you call that a proper job now? I think if you earn money from anything, it's a job. If you earn money from cutting your toenails, it's a job.
SPEAKER_04: 3:48
Well, look at this. Okay, let's let's use as an example, right? Let's use Jack selling feet pictures. Jack selling feet pictures is a good one, but did you actually get money off that person?
SPEAKER_01: 3:58
He still sends me money now. Are you joking? That's why I'm bankrupt. It's you then. No, actually, it's a weird bloke. Did he actually send you money?
SPEAKER_04: 4:08
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: 4:09
Did you accept it? Yeah, and then blocked him.
SPEAKER_04: 4:12
So brutal, Jack, but whatever it takes. You know, if someone's gonna ask for feet pictures of a growing.
SPEAKER_01: 4:16
No, I don't think it's feet pictures.
SPEAKER_04: 4:17
Alright, well, whatever you sent him anyway, is up to you. I didn't send him nothing, but ultimately. People look at you know, you could take Netflix as an example.
SPEAKER_05: 4:28
It's definitely not therapy.
SPEAKER_03: 4:30
I know there's something niggling in the back of your mind right now, isn't there, where you're trying to concentrate on this podcast, on this very, very good podcast, this very engaging podcast. But you're thinking, I wish we had a new bathroom, I wish we had a new kitchen, I wish we had a new games room.
SPEAKER_04: 4:45
Well, this week's episode of Definitely Not Therapy is sponsored by Bell Trades. We've all been there, haven't we? We've sat there and we thought, right, next job, we'll get the kitchen done. Next job, we'll get the bathroom done. And we just never get around to it. Why do we do that? We just we never get around to it.
SPEAKER_03: 5:05
Do it, now is the time. Contact Bell Trades and they can help. It might not cost as much as you think. Bell Trades have a very simple philosophy to turn your house into a home that you're proud of. Not where you can think, I wish we had a new bathroom, I wish we had a new kitchen, I wish we had a new games room or man cave, wish our bedroom was nice. Bell trades don't need to start from scratch. You don't have to have an entire new room. You might be thinking, I just wish this room was finished. They can look at the room and they can see the potential and they can work with you on it. Belltrades are specialists in bathrooms, kitchens, and entire renovations. You will not be disappointed. And if you think, oh Dan, I really, really, really want it done, I really want to get that bathroom finished, or I really want to get a new kitchen, but I just haven't got the money. Life's hard at the moment, life's expensive at the moment.
SPEAKER_04: 5:58
But there are some really, really reasonable finance options available. Go check their website, it's www.beltrades.co.uk. Or why don't you check them out on Instagram? It's at bell underscore underscore trades.
SPEAKER_03: 6:12
It's a double underscore. On their Instagram page, they've got some great before and after shots. So you can see the work they do, you can see the quality. And the beauty is they cover the entire South East London as well as Kent. So if you're one of them people, you're sat there, you're in South East London, you're in Kent, you're thinking, oh my bathroom.
SPEAKER_04: 6:31
I don't like going in there because it stresses me out. www.beltrades.co.uk. Bell Trades have helped me bring my vision to life. My vision of this podcast, they've helped me by sponsoring. Let them help bring your vision to life in your home. Because home isn't just where you live, it's how you live. Get yourself a quote. What have you got to lose, eh? Anyway, let's get back to the podcast, shall we?
SPEAKER_00: 7:01
It's definitely not therapy.
SPEAKER_04: 7:03
So Netflix, I don't know if you remember this, it wasn't a TV streaming service. You used to pay a monthly subscription, they would send you free DVD like two or three DVDs a month, and you would then send them back. That was how Netflix started. And like, but it got loads of like what you do in this, like this this startup company, whatever, what you're doing this for, got loads of look stick, but now look at it. It's leading the way in like streaming, I guess. I mean it's a shit example, but and we've gone down the rabbit hole with it as well. And we've gone down the rabbit hole with it. But the point was like social media is a fickle place, and people can say go and get a real job, go and do this, go and do that. But actually, if you're doing something that you enjoy doing and you're getting paid for it, yeah, then what is the what is the negative?
SPEAKER_01: 7:44
The definition of a job is something that you do that owns money, that is literally something that you do that you receive money for. Yeah. It's a job.
SPEAKER_04: 7:52
But so from my point of view, through social media, it's something that when like I I posted a video and obviously, you know, announced what I announced, but with the break off of my marriage. But everyone fuck off time to do that. I know. It's been waiting for it. This is this this podcast is a serious podcast, but I feel this is just gonna turn into comedy.
SPEAKER_01: 8:16
But inviting me down here, that was it was never gonna be serious.
SPEAKER_04: 8:18
No seriousness. Oh, we'll go on, serious. No, but also what I will say is I'm very much like I love to have a little fucking moan about how shit my life is, but also I do like to laugh, like I like to laugh and make light of tough situations. So having you down and having a laugh, like a laugh.
SPEAKER_01: 8:34
Danny's a laugh, and you can have fun with him as much as you know sometimes you agree as well, and they'll look a bit doom and gloom. And I do tell him I tell him a bit doom and gloom. And at the same time, on the other hand, I I get it, and I know more than you guys, and so I and I get it even more.
SPEAKER_04: 8:51
I think that's why it's difficult for for me sometimes, because it's like there's not many people that do know like everything, there's a handful of people that know everything. So the people that then are judging me, they're judging me based on what I'm putting out, but I'm putting out stuff based on all of this trauma.
SPEAKER_01: 9:04
I think what you have put out, I mean, one, I would never be, I don't think that me and Jess would ever be in that position. But if we weren't it's different, I mean we've been together 18 years, and it's like if it is different and it was the same scenario as yours, I would have fucking thrown her under the bus.
SPEAKER_00: 9:20
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: 9:20
So and and that's my sister you're talking about, mate. No, mate, well, hypothetically, but yeah. So like hats off to you how you've handled it, and the only reason you've handled it that way is because of Harper. And so and I I think any other man or men wouldn't have been able to have had the self-control the way you have. Because there have been so many situations that I've seen personally, yeah, that I'm like well, stuff's happened when I've been with you, I've been up at yours and I've got a call, and I'm like, how the fuck am I meant to deal with this?
SPEAKER_04: 9:53
I'm in Devon. Yeah. Or where or well, I don't know if people know that you are, I think people know you're in Devon by now, don't they?
SPEAKER_01: 9:58
No, we're not. We're in Dan's basement. But yeah, so you guys know the half of it. So whenever you say anything or put your demeaning comments to Dan, know this. Dan's actually the bigger man.
SPEAKER_04: 10:14
So I appreciate you saying that. That's right. That's that's because you don't want to. I mean, I can say more, but I know you're ready to go.
SPEAKER_01: 10:21
It's all got to be edited out. So why even say it? Because it's not even going in there. Sorry.
SPEAKER_04: 10:25
Because I can leave the aftermath of what he said in the case. Yeah, okay. I'm sorry. But I could. But but this even is testament. This this backs up what I was gonna say, like just even you saying that, and you know, and I appreciate it, and I think so many people when it comes to social media, it's it's everyone's looking for that fake life. Yeah, everything's fake, and I and I know not everything in social media is real, like everyone's stupid if they believe that, but everyone wants as soon as something real, like real, real happens, yeah, it's it's it's big and it's dramatised. Yeah, so I just had so everyone just fell away. Everyone that would have worked with me before, everyone that was reaching out to do collabs, they don't fucking want to know. But but you guys didn't do that, you did the opposite, you were phoning me, and I had probably uh aside from my best mates and obviously my my family, but I had you guys, my other mate Al calling me near enough, not every day, but regularly enough to say, are you okay? Are you still alive, basically?
SPEAKER_01: 11:24
I mean, I I see your PSN on there a lot, so I was like, he's definitely lighting a hole. What's PN? I think his PS PlayStation was online. Oh, so I was like, okay, he's just just in the uh in the lobby. What's he doing?
SPEAKER_04: 11:39
Just in the lobby, just sat there, just sat in the lobby waiting for trying to try to find some friends.
SPEAKER_01: 11:46
I did help you get you with the wet though. I helped message a few birds for you, didn't I? Yeah, but none of them came to fruition, I don't know. Yes, they did. One of them did.
SPEAKER_04: 11:53
Oh, that bird that was metaphoning me when I was up with you.
SPEAKER_01: 11:56
Yeah, I helped with that one.
SPEAKER_04: 11:57
Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, okay. She was a bit of a freak though. Is she not?
SPEAKER_01: 12:02
Well, we haven't said which one, it's been a few, but yeah, actually they've all been freaks.
unknown: 12:06
I think.
SPEAKER_04: 12:06
It could could have been, well, they're all from Devon, so.
SPEAKER_01: 12:09
Well, hello. No, no, one of them was domestic. Oh, okay. She knows who she is now. She'll know who she is. She might know who she is because we probably ended it.
SPEAKER_04: 12:20
Well, no, I've I've spoken to a few girls domestics and big big.
SPEAKER_01: 12:23
It helps with the therapy side of things, self-therapy, self-care, self-wank bank.
SPEAKER_04: 12:28
I think it's a very I mean it's a very specific. I mean, I agree, I don't disagree with you. I think my my problem is I kind of went through like a little bit of a phase, but the problem is like I'm an older guy now. Not like old, but I'm 41 in my 40s. But the the point is You've got grey hair. Okay, Jack.
SPEAKER_01: 12:49
Thanks like I'm in my 30s, so yeah, I know. Yeah, and actually, so yeah, it's no advice. You're old. No, you're old.
SPEAKER_04: 12:56
My stress. Yeah, so's dance. So's mine, yeah. Yeah, but like you would have got that anyway. I didn't have this 18 months ago. You might have done. You're at the age now you couldn't say yes or no. Yeah, who knows? But I've got it, and I'm at that age, and now I think it's just the problem. Is also the girls that that you date at this kind of age, they're not 20-year-olds who just want a bit of fun. I've I've got the perfect solution. They're at the age where they've got kids and they're like, okay, I want to get serious, and as soon as it starts to get serious, I'm like, nah, I don't want that. That's not what I want. And it's hard because I I like I can't help. This is maybe a bit deep, but and it's probably silly, but I just don't want to involve Harper. If I'm with someone and having fun and just like hooking up whatever, yeah. And then it gets to a point where, oh, I want to meet Harper, it'd be nice to meet Harper. I'm like, nah, fuck that. I'm just done. I can't help that. So that just makes me know well, I'm not ready for that yet.
SPEAKER_01: 13:45
Yeah, I get it. I get it. But I I think I think the the safest bet is going for like the older, older generation and getting a bit of an old winch.
SPEAKER_04: 13:55
60 plus.
SPEAKER_01: 13:56
I don't, it's just not you've not turned them buttons off.
SPEAKER_04: 14:03
Unfortunately, I don't know how to because I'm not really technically gifted. So that is going to be a feature throughout this entire podcast, unfortunately. Double bracing. I wonder if there's but so there you go. So you've got a this podcast has become Nick playing with a new toy.
SPEAKER_01: 14:22
I like buttons.
SPEAKER_04: 14:23
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: 14:23
He's probably the worst because you've got on here. The most unserious.
SPEAKER_04: 14:27
Because he's yeah, but that's fine. I don't mind a bit of I don't mind a bit of unseriousness.
SPEAKER_02: 14:31
You've made like three un uh jokes that can't be put in the thing yet. I haven't.
SPEAKER_01: 14:34
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04: 14:35
He hasn't made them out three.
SPEAKER_01: 14:37
Edited them out, then that's not fair. But the young cut, the full truth, nothing but the truth.
SPEAKER_04: 14:42
I don't think I've ever said them words about anything in my life.
SPEAKER_01: 14:46
Heard that myself, but we'll go with it.
SPEAKER_04: 14:48
It is it is an I I want it to be raw and unfiltered, but how raw do you want to go? The problem is the people I'm normally having on the podcast, they know what I put out. You know everything, you know me.
SPEAKER_01: 15:00
I've seen nudes. I've taken them. You've taken them while I've been asleep, probably.
SPEAKER_04: 15:05
Yeah, it wouldn't surprise me. That's absurd.
SPEAKER_01: 15:07
Why is it? I've got nudes of you as well. You probably actually have selling them actually. You shouldn't really talk about that because I probably took them when I shouldn't have. And he's all underage.
SPEAKER_05: 15:15
And it's bad. I've got to cut that out now, and I leave it.
SPEAKER_04: 15:21
So, okay, well, let's talk about a bit of my mental health and a bit of stress. Let's let's talk about, and you're probably gonna turn this podcast around on me and ask me questions, and that's fine. But for you, like I remember, and we'd spoken, I think we'd even collabbed before before the fire. Yeah, oh yeah, we're and I don't want to get in too deep on a fire, like we everyone I I get it's a tough thing, and I and we've had some real, real serious conversations about it. But mental health-wise, with the pressure that put on you, because you was you full-time social media at that point? Yeah. So you're full-time social media.
SPEAKER_01: 15:57
We were a year deep then. You were a year deep at that point, maybe maybe even a bit longer.
SPEAKER_04: 16:00
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: 16:00
No, you weren't. Yeah, because we started in 2019, and then we had the hold of 20, yeah, and then the fire was in 21.
SPEAKER_04: 16:08
Okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_01: 16:09
So I was I was a year and a half into full-time, I'd stopped the building for over a year. We were we were fully thrown at it then. No, I can't remember.
SPEAKER_04: 16:16
Fully committed.
SPEAKER_01: 16:17
You can't remember much, right?
SPEAKER_04: 16:18
No, you just do as you told Jack, you're just you're just you're just there, things get done to you, and there's like before you get angry and then run off.
SPEAKER_01: 16:27
And they done it, and that's what I've done. No, no, then I jumped back in the bedroom window, and then you screamed like a little bitch. Yeah, and then and then and then you all said, So you had time to do that. So that's that's one of the rabbit hole theories, guys.
SPEAKER_04: 16:40
We've actually done a little, I haven't posted it yet, but we've done a little interview outside the house. Have you? Me and you me and Jack did, don't you remember it? No. We was in my car and we'd done a little interview. Oh yeah. Jay's got it. And you wasn't there, they come down filming for the day, you didn't bother telling me.
SPEAKER_05: 16:53
Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, I remember that.
SPEAKER_04: 16:55
We haven't posted that, I need to post that video. I haven't edited it, but it's quite that's quite a raw. You I get quite a lot of info from you. Oh, really? I can't even remember it. Yeah, yeah, you said too way too much. Oh, what did I say? I'll post it and then you'll see it online. What's he said? I want to post it. But what did you can watch it before I post it? Jay's got it, but Jay's got it too. But what did that sort of do to you being like then quite new into social media, although you guys were smashing it, like you were having viral video after viral video.
SPEAKER_01: 17:20
I mean, for we just went with it, so we were having fun and we didn't give a fuck. And I I think that was the problem. We didn't care too much. You know, we we had a joke and we knew our videos were sketches, yeah, but there's a lot of people that that didn't, and then they'll they'll some people will buy on anything. So yeah, I remember there was one we'd done with a trolley, and it was a trolley for older disabled people, and we I get it, I I fully get it. But I mean, so Jess was in it, and I pushed her and span around, and that was it. End of. We haven't done any damage to it, and then it was the oh, oh my god, do you know how much these trolleys are? And you're just spinning them around and having like I'm like, it's a trolley. I get it. But you're calling for what's it, cancel the Smithy family. Like, I'll go and buy another trolley, you know.
SPEAKER_04: 18:07
It's in fact I think we've done something afterwards, like but I think Because the guilt setting, because you're very much like you're very like, I find you very headstrong, and but you are actually, and people won't always see this, you're a really nice person. And I and every single time I've come to stay with you, there's been the I and I can't I won't cut this bit out. There's been some kind of drama, and it's always involved you're helping someone that's in need, but people don't see that side because you you because of the nature of what you post, it's you know, we we all do it.
SPEAKER_01: 18:34
It does seem like drama follows you down to Devon.
SPEAKER_04: 18:36
No, I think it's it's just drama's constantly there in Devon, and I turn up and it's just still going on even from the last time I was down. Drunk woman. Oh, that was funny though, wasn't it? Well not for not for her, but no, that was sad. I mean you probably shouldn't have gone back to her house with her either.
SPEAKER_01: 18:50
You're getting that I went back with other people. Fuck it, what was it? A gang bang? Weren't you there? Weren't Jack there? Nah, nah, no, he weren't down there. He won't he wouldn't even know anything about it. Yeah, no, yeah.
SPEAKER_04: 19:03
But what about the mental what about the kind of the the pressure that it put on you with like the fire in the house and everyone having these opinions and going down these rugged things?
SPEAKER_01: 19:11
So I think I I think obviously because obviously we we we put ourselves out a bit too much, so people knew where we lived, we were getting stuff sent to the house. So that was I kind of regretted that because I didn't know you going not knowing things you shouldn't do. So by this point, we just had Ted, I just literally lost my stepdad like six days before the fire. I didn't know. Yeah, yeah. So and then with the family were dealing with that, and then bang, there'd been something that you know shouldn't be agreing, which should have been like Finley was a massive part of my life. He helped me on the straight narrow, helped me get off the cocaine, helped me swing my wife around. So, and then he he died, and it was pretty sudden. But five days before that, or like a week, two weeks before that Ted was born, then Finlay died, and then the house fire, and we were dealing with all these new emotions, and then at the same time, I'm fully fledged earning money on social media, and I want to stop, I want to pull the family away, and I want to go to a hole, but we haven't got mega money. We're like, you know, there's you know, probably five, ten, fifteen, twenty grand, whatever in the bank, and I still need to make sure that we're earning money, otherwise, no one's you're not getting paid, just not getting paid, we're not paying the mortgage, we're not paying the rent or whatever. So to have that and then not be able to stop that ridiculous. Yeah, so that that was the hard bit. So to put on the fake face and then smile for the camera and show that we're not gonna be beaten and show everyone because I'm always committed to showing, you know, whatever fucking happens in life, you can get through it, and it does hurt you, but it's gonna make you stronger in the long run. So you've gone through it, you've done it, you've done the hard part, and now you're surviving and you're moving forward. So, and I've always said that from when I was you know young in care and the trauma I went through. So I wanted to show everyone look, we're still smiling for the kids, we're still doing this, we're still, and then everyone was like, Oh look, he's in a hotel having a laugh. Yeah, like they don't say, oh, well, actually, we were in a hotel for three months, couldn't fucking move, we're all tripping over each other, weren't we? Like in them little hotel rooms and still having to go and do some content, film the ads that we'd committed to, and and yeah, so it that that was the hardest bit. But on top of that, then you had the drama that came with it, he'd done it himself or he'd paid somebody done it for an insurance job. Why was the door unlocked? Why was this unlocked? Why you know I guarantee your car outside now doors unlocked. 100%. In fact, I I I only know the keys in here because we locked it. No, I didn't lock it, I just went to get my drink. So and I picked the key up unless Dan's BMW.
SPEAKER_04: 21:50
The keys here.
SPEAKER_01: 21:51
But uh normally, I shouldn't even fucking tell you that. Normally my keys are left in the car. So we say, oh, yeah. So you know, if you want to steal a car, let's go.
SPEAKER_04: 22:00
Although we don't we have to say we don't encourage stealing cars.
SPEAKER_01: 22:03
No, that's gonna get away with it.
SPEAKER_04: 22:06
Okay. Oh, that's all right then, yeah. Yeah. That's all right then, yeah.
SPEAKER_01: 22:08
So I think going over the drama, that's that's that's that's but that's a lot all at once to deal with.
SPEAKER_04: 22:13
Of course. But you have this you have this like drive where you're just on it. Like whenever I've we've come up and we've you're just on it, you're like you're just a bit of a machine when it comes to I I know what it's like to swing an axe or a shovel all day and grind and do what we need to do.
SPEAKER_01: 22:33
And I think we're blessed to do this, yeah, be with our families. Although yours was sort of fucked up, map. Sorry you fucked it up, but so yours is gone as well, so these two here can't hold down the relationship. So don't worry, mate. Drag Jack into it. You know, it's we're lucky.
SPEAKER_00: 22:55
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: 22:55
Because we can do this and be around. You can pick Harper up every single day and morning, drop her off to school. Who else has the luxury of doing that? Because it is it's a luxury to be able to have have that around for your for your kids. And then be in a position where you can provide things you wouldn't normally provide for, unless you're Dan and you're struggling a little bit because you don't know where the next bird's coming in to I'm joking, sorry, too far. Idiot.
SPEAKER_04: 23:26
Yeah, sorry. But yeah, no, but you're right, I agree, and I think it's that the whole reason I I I changed from like doing a full-time job to a social media was so I could be at home with the girls.
SPEAKER_00: 23:37
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04: 23:37
Like, and why wouldn't you? If any and and and I think I talked about this before, but if like so many people not so many people, a few people probably get the opportunity to say, right, here's a decision to make. Yeah. Do you want to carry on the career path and work eight till six every day, yeah, earning a regular income? Or do you want to take this risk and go into social media, which is an unknown, yeah, you could earn more money from it, you could earn less money from it, but what you will definitely be able to do is to spend more time with your family. And then out of the people that get the opportunity, how many people are saying yes to that? Like I don't and I don't and I've always been like quite a safe person. I I I never really took risks. And I'll the one thing I will say is as much as whatever you know my opinion is or whatever's happened, like it was my ex, it was Lucy that pushed me and encouraged me and made me think, do you know what you can do? And she's the first person it probably in my life that's believed in me enough for me to go, and that's probably why I've struggled more.
SPEAKER_01: 24:33
I was gonna say I was fucking around earlier, sorry.
SPEAKER_04: 24:35
But but that's probably the reason I've struggled more is because I've never had that before, yeah, and I think I'm not gonna find that person again that's gonna give me that encouragement that's gonna believe in me that much.
SPEAKER_01: 24:45
100%. But you've got to remember, you don't have to find a girlfriend or a partner to be able to do that. You've got friends that want you to do that, yeah. And you've got people that enjoy your company and that want you around and have a laugh and do that at the same time, you know? Yeah. So, and that's it don't I think the thing is what you struggled with is you thought it was you and Lucy, and Lucy was a bit of the driving force to push in you, and I think you felt you'd lost that and you lost your drive, and that's why you struggled to get going again. Yeah. And I think as soon as you're around creative people, like the juices get flowing, the ideas get flowing, and you know, and then you you you you come down to us and and and film, and you see the train that we get on, and it's like this is the plan, there's like 28 different stories in one day, or or you know, filming 60 different videos.
SPEAKER_00: 25:38
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: 25:38
And I think you know, because I I regiment it, I'm like, let the more we get done, then we can move, we can go and film YouTube, we can go and do this, we've got time for TikTok, we can go to the yard, we can do this, we can go and do a house here, or we can go and do someone's garden for free and try back to the roots, or yeah, you know, and then see your time's freed up, or you can go and horse riding with bells, or go to the stables and wish you'd never bought any horses and think, why have I done this and I'm doing the cleaning out, you know, things like that.
SPEAKER_04: 26:06
Yeah. Yeah. But yeah. I mean I agree. I think it's and it's nice, it's nice that I have got friends now that do it's one of those things that until you kind of I and I don't know what level you really make it in social media. I feel I feel like I I I sort of did okay and then I've sort of struggled a bit, but I'm hoping I'll do, you know, do okay again. But it's like it's it's nice to have to have that kind of support and to know actually, yeah, the people do want you to do well, and people do believe in you. Like I because I I remember when I first went to go into it, I had not so much friends necessarily that I remember, but like even family were like, oh, like don't give up a career for a but you know a perfectly good job for making silly videos on the internet. It's like no one believes in you until you do it and you're like, look, actually, this is how much I made this month, and they're like, Oh.
SPEAKER_01: 26:55
My dad was my big biggest critic, Pete. Was it? Yeah. He was like, What are you doing, my like and then like now he's my biggest, he's like yeah, my biggest fan of it. He's he's like, maybe he's not the biggest fan with some of the videos as he still doesn't understand what sketch is, and uh it still tells me off when I say things like but he's he's the fact, and he's like, with the fact that you've done when you're doing the building and wouldn't take no for an answer with things, and now you've not listened to anyone with this, and the same with other stuff, and you've always made it work. And he's like, I never had that faith in myself when I was growing up to be able to try and push. Yeah, and I think we're brought up nine to five, do your job, go up as high as you can, reach that peak level, maybe you'll get to 70%.
SPEAKER_04: 27:42
Yeah. Well, this is what I think, like the schooling system, not to get go too deep in this, but at school, if you're anything other than just do as you're told and you are, you do your books, or you're writing, you're reading, your maths, if you're creative in any way and you do something that's a little bit out there, you're squashed for it, you're pushed down for it.
SPEAKER_01: 27:59
Uh Bell's is a massive example for that. Massive example. You know, she's she's out there, she's ADHD, obviously, which you know they don't like because it's disruptive to the to the class placements because they need to teach them in a different way. But she's flamboyant and she's keen to learn. Look at how she's learnt with the horses and all herself and done this. You put her in a room in a classroom where her teacher is just being, it's just dribbling.
SPEAKER_04: 28:24
It's just it's difficult to yeah to follow. It's like I saw an analogy once, and I won't probably get this exactly right, but it's it's the equivalent of putting like a Formula One car. If you put a Formula One car on a on our roads, yeah. And said, right, go and just drive about, go and do your shopping, it's not gonna function properly. And you put a normal car on a racetrack, well, you've got no chance of compete competing. It's like it's that sort of analogy where that's n neither of those things are ever gonna work. You've got to be in the right field for you to really excel. You put that race car on a racetrack and it's gonna thrive.
SPEAKER_01: 28:54
The the schooling system is so widespread to teach them enough about something, but the main thing it is, really, long and short of it, is to make them conform, is to show them to turn up nine till five, yeah, do this, do as you're told, wear your what your uniform correctly, don't answer back, don't question anything, just get on with what we've told you to do, and that's to cement in. And I get it, that's the the world as it's been made and how it is now. That's how they need it to work. But the reality is if everyone fucks off to a farm and have five acres and we all looked after ourselves instead of having to go then what what's gonna be needed? The government ain't needed. We're going down another rabbit hole. So, but we can, I'd happily go down this rabbit hole because I think you have strong opinions about I do have very, very strong opinions about I think I think we're in a in a dangerous place at the moment. And I think I'm very happy where I am in Devon with a little bit of r of land around me and ready to to start growing some vegetables. You actually get my sister to do it, but yeah, the vegetable patch down the bottom. You're gonna start growing vegetables? I'm not, my sister will.
SPEAKER_04: 29:58
You become an actual farmer, yeah. I think the message is though is is that kids and youngsters now, and like Jack, you're a youngster, you know, you're you're you're young, but we we should be encouraging creativity. Yeah. And now's there's no better time for for someone young to be creative. Because you can now go, like, there's 20-year-olds driving Lamborghinis buying buying a house outright because they've done one on social media.
SPEAKER_01: 30:19
Yeah, that that's Jack. He gives you better to buy a Lamborghini. He's he's really good in investments, isn't it? I have got Lamborghini in a house, so I just don't show everyone it. He's very modern. You don't even know about it.
SPEAKER_04: 30:30
It wouldn't surprise me with him. You don't know anything about Jack because he's just so closed off, isn't he?
SPEAKER_01: 30:35
Everyone knows Jack how Jack wants to be known. What? Everyone knows Jack how you want them to No, everyone knows me based on what you show them. That's it. Nothing else.
SPEAKER_04: 30:46
Nothing else. So how do you feel how how about you then, Jack? How does that affect you? What? Well, like, because you're you you were a lot younger when you started being in the videos, because what we were talking six years ago, so now what you must have been what, 16, something like that? 15. 15 when you started being in the videos. So how how do you like it?
SPEAKER_01: 31:05
It says I groomed him. I groomed him for FIFA points.
SPEAKER_04: 31:13
But you accepted them as well. Yeah, exactly. Why are you still taking the FIFA points now? You're you're 20 odd. Three FIFA points, right? You take them if they were offered. Alright, so like but mental health-wise, though, seriously, how do you deal with being like did you ever want to be on social media or is it just right you were kind of not forced into it but bribed into it with FIFA points? But then did you enjoy any of it? Do you enjoy any aspect of it?
SPEAKER_01: 31:39
Or or is it like you just kind of absolutely hate it? Well he does no, this is a lie, right? I tell you that. No, because I'm telling you it's not. Right, so you enjoy some of the stuff we do, but he hates he hates that people know him and like he hates not the fame, because it ain't famous what we do, we ain't famous, it ain't, you know, we've got a few followers. He hates you hate the fact that people like what they come up to you and say, Yeah, yeah, it is. Are you from the Smithy family? And he's like, he hates it. He would just rather, I think he'd rather be unknown. But I think you enjoy the videos, some of them, yeah. Like when we're having fun, yeah.
SPEAKER_04: 32:23
Well we've we've made video, we've made content together. You've you've laughed, you've been like, and you're sometimes the instigator. You're like, right, this is a good idea, I'm gonna do this. Like you've been the instigator.
SPEAKER_01: 32:34
Yeah. On the ones I enjoy. Yeah, so ballerina. Nah. Right. That's like a humiliation ritual. I never got paid enough for that. Oh, you got paid? Well, you could have bought me shares in FIFA and I still wouldn't have been enough. Fuck the FIFA points. Good job, I can reuse it. I'll go and say it. Yeah, I know if it's old, so like it's come down well with the other paying days. Yeah, but I told, so I asked the old me. You'd never you'd never catch me doing it again. Oh, I've could. No, you you don't you could give me your house and your car.
SPEAKER_04: 33:03
What just to pop a little ballerina dress on it?
SPEAKER_01: 33:07
Why is it humiliation? It is. Because I expressed it up like a ballerina address.
SPEAKER_04: 33:11
So if you care what you care what people think then.
SPEAKER_01: 33:13
Oh, he's massively. To a stat to a point. Massively. To a point. Massively. Whereas I don't give a fuck.
SPEAKER_04: 33:18
Yeah, you don't, yeah.
SPEAKER_01: 33:19
He's like, I've got crazy. I bought beer on the show. No, no, I I would I would do whatever it needed to make sure that my family, including you, have everything provided for you. Right, so let's say I had a family. You have got family. No, like like you've got kids, missus, stuff like that, yeah? Yeah. I wouldn't do it to fucking I know you wouldn't.
unknown: 33:41
You're a count.
SPEAKER_04: 33:42
So but what would you do? But you but you've you've had jobs.
SPEAKER_02: 33:45
I would do anything else apart from that.
SPEAKER_01: 33:47
I I I'm you can make money online without embarrassing yourself. Means what? Pranks. Stuff like that. That's not embarrassing yourself. Okay, yeah, okay, yeah, right. Like going out of your way to dress up like a little girl and dance around like a swat, that's embarrassing.
SPEAKER_04: 34:03
That's what falls in sometimes the big numbers.
SPEAKER_01: 34:05
No, it didn't, I just wanted to banner being as out of it. Yeah, for your own sexual pleasure. No, not at all. Jesus. Alright. So you fair, I'd I I I'd always do it as well. I don't, there's nothing, nothing you can do. Just because you do it doesn't mean it's normal, it's okay, nothing. Or that I'll be.
SPEAKER_04: 34:23
No, but what he's showing there is that he's not gonna he's not asking you to do anything he wouldn't do.
SPEAKER_01: 34:27
No, but like there's nothing he wouldn't do, so then it doesn't matter, does it, then that's the case? Well, yeah, exactly. Oh, what if I said that we could get you on with Bonnie Blue? Would you do that? No, if you fucking scank me. I'd rather fuck you than Bonnie Blue. Look at that disgust on his face.
SPEAKER_04: 34:43
I agree with him as well. I agree with him, to be honest. It is, yeah. Have you watched her documentary that's come out yet? No, I haven't watched it. No, I wouldn't uh sorry, you know about a documentary and you just only because I've seen loads, I've not watched it, it's not channel four. I will watch it, but I haven't, but only because she'd have loads of critics. Have you seen any of her videos? None of her videos, none of her videos. All of her videos, no, no, none. No, I've never watched a Bonnie Blue video.
SPEAKER_01: 35:07
I don't even know how she's been given air time in your videos. I don't know. I have typed a name into my porner, but nothing come up.
SPEAKER_04: 35:14
I just don't I just don't understand. You've got to be at such a level of not giving a single fuck what anyone on the planet thinks of you to be able to openly say, What did she sleep with a hundred men or something? Or was it a thousand? To sleep with a thousand men. Like, she's got a family, and her dad has presumably got mates.
SPEAKER_01: 35:36
Yeah, but no, her dad's farming her, her dad's supports her on it, which is like even more disgusting. Let's let's let's go down like fucking that is a rabbit hole. But she's making a lot of money, yeah, right, and then she can just she could theoretically fuck off to an island and never be seen again and provide for her family after a certain amount of time, and that's probably what she would do. So she could justify you. It does, if Bills does that, is that right? No, no, no. Why is that not right? No, no, no, listen. I'm not saying it's alright. I'm saying I understand, I'm not saying it's wrong either, because look, listen, one of the oldest industries in the world is fucking sex. You know, that's one of the that is one of it is the oldest industry. It is, yeah. You know, sex sells, and it always has. So why what's any differently is disgusting. Morally, it's fucking disgusting.
SPEAKER_04: 36:23
I think to to to to do like I would never have a problem with it, like the people, like for anyone, like live and let live, do what you want to do. I just think I'm more interested in how like sometimes I just don't want to film a piece of street content because I'm embarrassed about what someone might look at me with a holding a phone up.
SPEAKER_01: 36:41
Yeah, she walked down the road with a fucking spunk all over her face.
SPEAKER_04: 36:43
But she would have just been with a thousand men the day before, and like that's gone out online and everyone's seen that. Well, not everyone's seen that, because we I we haven't seen it, but like people know, people know that.
SPEAKER_01: 36:54
It's my lip going again, it's equivalent.
SPEAKER_04: 36:58
But it's like it's just a another level of not like this just relates to you in the ballerina outfit. Like, you wouldn't like that's highly embarrassing for you, but for her, she'll quite happily put it online and sleep with a thousand men. But because she was getting paid.
SPEAKER_01: 37:12
Because of the money, it makes it alright, is what is what I'm trying to say. Yeah. Listen, would I want my daughter doing that? No. But if my daughter and I am I gonna be like if my daughter was be able to provide for her family, and that was what she wanted to do, and she was doing it and earning a lot. And I I mean, could I say I am Gothmat. I am gothmatch.
SPEAKER_04: 37:37
I think it's difficult, it's really difficult because you want to be either way, you've got to be you want to be a supportive modern dad.
SPEAKER_01: 37:43
Let's let's let's turn it on its head. Let's let's turn this on its head a little bit, yeah? So let's say it was Bell's, yeah? Right? Okay, we're just talking like but when she's grown up, obviously, this is fear and ivory's bloody ain't narrow. And I didn't support her, right? And she was doing this, and then she was on her own, and she was doing this, and I didn't support her, and I weren't there to help her and guide her, yeah. Not while this is going down a weird lower, but you're there, yeah. But yeah, so and then I'm like, right, do you know what? I'm fucking I disagree with this, Bells. I don't think it's right, I ain't have nothing to do with it, I ain't have nothing to do with you. You either stop it or you're you know a part of the family. Is that what you would do? Yeah. But then you're not a part of the family, and she carries on her head with it. Then I've got my little girl that is God knows where, not being watched for like but you've got to look at it from both sides.
SPEAKER_04: 38:36
It's such a difficult one. I and I I I can one hunt one obviously I've got a little girl, so it's a I can easily see it from both points of view. But you would never want to, you would like I feel the same as you. You I'd never not want to be there for her, yeah. Regardless of whatever she does in her life.
SPEAKER_01: 38:51
But luckily we've got an influence now where, you know, we're telling her what's right and what's wrong, and you know, we've already told her what's combating Bonnie Blue is and not to be like her, so that she's just got it drummed into her head. Yeah, I think growing up. I'm joking, we haven't she doesn't even know Bonnie Blue is before.
SPEAKER_04: 39:09
But I also don't know I don't know morals or what kind of upbringing Bonnie Blue She was married and stuff. She was married, she had a husband and stuff, so uh all of a sudden she's just come out of nowhere and she's just this slang who loves it.
SPEAKER_01: 39:22
I tell you, I don't it's not I mean she's got a boyfriend, isn't she?
SPEAKER_04: 39:25
I think she's got a boyfriend now, but she had a husband, she was married, and he's now like moved moved on. But he's recently done an interview about it might be on this documentary, I don't know, but because I saw a thing on social media about it, and it apparently he's done like a tell-all on like what she used to be like. She's completely changed, but like everything's just changed, apparently's just changed.
SPEAKER_01: 39:44
But even that's though, isn't it? It's persona as well, which she's a lot of it's facade. Yeah, a lot of it's facade.
SPEAKER_04: 39:50
Well, this is what I was gonna say. I was just like, there's this thing, there's this thing I watched, and it's it was probably click clickbait, but I just don't even know why a young girl would post something like this as clickbait because she said, Oh, I'm in Paris. You might have seen it, it went viral, but it's like, I'm in Paris, I've uh like I had a target sleep with with 14 men, I've done it, I'm here for another like 12 hours, I might even get another one in. And it's like, why would you post that about that's clickbait?
SPEAKER_01: 40:17
It's clickbait, but why, even though it is clickbait, why would you even do it for clickbait? Okay, this is this is where you've got to look. It's humanitised.
SPEAKER_04: 40:24
It's money on her, but even if not, it I mean it was on Instagram, so I don't know. You don't but so that's been taken, even if she's monetised on another platform and she's saying and someone else has screenshotted it and posted it, or maybe that's gone viral, and she's not earning from that. So she's put herself out there. Millions of people have watched it, and she's not gonna benefit from it.
SPEAKER_01: 40:44
But what I do also know is you know when you follow a creator and it might be a creator that does satire or thingy, you don't you're not seeing her other content with that. So it could be a thing that she does, it could be a joke, it could be a weird joke, and we're seeing it as she's evidence of her getting ran through by more than many blows. Oh, you're still on both.
SPEAKER_04: 41:05
But I'm talking about this is just a random one now, mate. We've moved on to a viral video. Just a random girl. I don't know who she is, but but it might have even been Bonnie Blue before she was famous. I know it was just one of those types of people that just did a one of these videos.
SPEAKER_01: 41:19
Or is that is that been no? I think that's a lie. Is it a lie? Yeah, I think it's a lot of people. I think it's actually hope in his life because you've been bashing one out for a large year hopefully.
SPEAKER_04: 41:27
I think it'd be hard for her to get away with it if she slept with a thousand men in one day for not one of them to just you know mention that she had a cock on balls.
SPEAKER_02: 41:36
No, because you can get it chopped off and put something else there as well.
SPEAKER_01: 41:38
So you'll you'll be able to tell though, wouldn't you?
SPEAKER_02: 41:41
Not if you get good enough surgery, you'd have to.
SPEAKER_04: 41:42
I think right, but this is definitely a rabbit hole, I'm not prepared to go down. I've definitely I've definitely got to delete get off, I've definitely got to delete that out.
SPEAKER_00: 41:53
It's definitely not therapy.
SPEAKER_04: 41:54
Jack. Yes. So obviously we've we've got like a similar like thing in common where obviously you've got a little boy, but obviously you as I don't do you like IK talking about Amy? Some of it, yeah. Okay, so just because all I was gonna do all I was gonna ask is like are you gonna get through that? He's not gonna get through that. He's not gonna get through that gap. He's got under the chair. Oh my god. He got through it, fair play to him. Can I just ask you then just a couple of questions about because obviously we've been through sort of a bit of a similar situation. You know, you and Amy were like very much on social media, and then you have to tell people you have to like because people are like they're together and you're together and you're a couple and you've had little Albert, but then obviously you broke up. So what what what happened? And how did you deal with it? Just flipped out. That was it. And then I knew that I knew that I knew that was the answer I was gonna get from you. I was trying to dig hoping that you might just let your guard down a bit, but okay, so and so and I get it, like some people like I probably overshare too much. Well, actually I haven't because obviously I've never actually spoken about what actually happened, but so I I do get and I respect that. But how did you cope with it though? Because obviously it's not I don't know really. Not very well. Do you still yeah that's that's that's fair.
SPEAKER_01: 43:27
Probably a bit wrong. He's like young, it's it's hard, isn't it?
SPEAKER_04: 43:32
It is hard, and I and I think it's is that one of the reasons as well you sort of have backed off a little bit from don't do as much social media now or probably, yeah.
SPEAKER_00: 43:41
Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04: 43:43
Do you think do you uh what is your relationship with Amy like? How do you find co-parenting? I'll ask that question because that for me is a is a struggle. I'm I I'm lucky that I do get to see Harper a lot, and I get it must be difficult for you because obviously you're down in Devon, you might not get to see him every day. But how do you deal with the co-parenting side of it?
SPEAKER_01: 44:00
Right, so yeah, it's good because you get you have them every three weeks and you get your you know, you get your time of just him, and you know that that's your time with Albert is your time with Alba.
SPEAKER_04: 44:11
But also, if you don't want me to talk about it, then we can just move on.
SPEAKER_01: 44:14
But I just don't know what to say, and I'm not being I'm not telling them really what fucking went on because I have to tell them and it's still going on.
SPEAKER_04: 44:20
Exactly. That's what I was hoping that you might slip and tell me a little something.
SPEAKER_01: 44:25
So just just say the truth. Are you you uh no you you have no no, you have Albert every three weeks, which is what you do. He he gets connected, come down two weeks. It's never three weeks. Two weeks, it's only been three weeks his time. Alright, okay. Over four days, you have fun with him, just what you do. You know, you do, you're a fucking good dad, you're a good dad, Jack. When you have him, I am fucking so shocked with how good he is with him. I honestly thought when I heard Jack's having a baby, I thought, fuck. I thought, oh my god, how is he gonna be able to deal with that? Mate, the little fucker screams and cries, and I would have launched him out the window. And I know you want to launch him out the window, but you don't. And you're on your own when you're like it is harder when they like that, because like in my eyes, I'm a bit sexist. That's the female's job, but when they're crying and they're stuff like that, it is because it's mother's instincts.
SPEAKER_04: 45:18
Yeah, it's yeah, it's m like it's instincts. I think yeah.
SPEAKER_02: 45:21
When they're ill and all that stuff, they go cuddle to mummy and stuff like that. Like when they want to have fun and go on a motorbike, they don't do that with mum, they do that with dad. That's a dad that's a dad's.
SPEAKER_04: 45:28
I mean, that is a very traditional way of looking at it, but it's also like it's women are just mums are better at that sort of stuff anyway. They have a natural nature, mother's nature, whereas men don't.
SPEAKER_02: 45:39
I used to go to my mum, my nan, or whatever.
SPEAKER_01: 45:41
I'd never go to a like a man as such, like that. Do you know what I mean? He didn't have me around then, thankfully.
SPEAKER_04: 45:47
But you have now, you've got to I would have just got groomed you and joking. By the way, he hasn't groomed me, haven't I? I'm leaving that out. I'm leaving all that out so that no one will know.
SPEAKER_01: 45:57
DK, leave it. Fine mate. Okay. We're joking. But yeah, hands down, how Jack is with Albert.
SPEAKER_04: 46:08
Because obviously, people on social media, because I don't film my time with Albert, they don't know, they don't see it.
SPEAKER_01: 46:14
No, so this is your picture from us, and that's that's what you see.
SPEAKER_04: 46:18
Yeah, oh well that's what I see. That's how I get updates. I I see the pictures.
SPEAKER_01: 46:29
Jack's feeding him, Jack's bathing him, Jack's soothing him when he's crying, Jack puts him to bed, Jack goes up there when he cries. Okay, during the day, Jess might have him for a little bit, and but that's just his selfish. Yeah, if you want time with him, yeah, because but what you do, I don't think you realise and grasp. Not many men can do that. You know, there's I couldn't, I'll put my hands up. I am shit with the kids before they're one. I I can't. A screaming baby to me is painful, I hate it, I the noise would be like a big thing. They can't no, I don't give a fuck about that. I don't, I can't stand it. It my head goes. I'm trying to like there's too many things going on in my head. You throw a crying baby into the mix and I'm gone. I'm in the other room, I'm in the car. That you know, but you, you you freaking do it. And I that's to me, that's hats off. I know lots of other men do as well. I'm saying for me, my type, Dan can, probably, I'm sure he does, I'm sure he did.
SPEAKER_04: 47:28
I did when Harper was a baby, I like I loved it, but I just remember, like my best mate was he was such a good dad to his he's got two girls, and I was just always he would tell me stories about those exact things. Yeah. And they were like crying and he would do this, and I would always think that would just fucking irritate me. Why would I do that? But then when you when I had or not, I had Harper, when Harper come along or whatever, yeah. I just I just remember those words when she was crying. I was like, like, she's not gonna cry like a baby forever.
SPEAKER_00: 47:58
Yeah.
SPEAKER_04: 47:58
And then we'd say yeah, thank fuck.
SPEAKER_01: 48:00
But also, I be I I am, but I am being serious as well. When I say it, I can't I can't take it in my head. Whether it's yeah, uh everyone's gonna have the ADHD card or whatever. My when I'm in a room and there's more than two or three noises going on, yeah, why I've got to I fucking stand up. I'm like, I have to take myself away. Yeah. So you had a crying baby into that with my.
SPEAKER_04: 48:21
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can understand how that would push. And it's not easy because again, as a man, I just don't think we don't take fire. Don't piss don't cry. Don't we don't have to actually I know I do have to be nice because they do send them to me every month.
SPEAKER_01: 48:34
So they send them to me as well. I keep asking for a bath thing. But the thing is they send them to me, I don't film them, I don't take pictures like you, and I can just give them away to the little kid. That he tries to groom. With the grooming. That's my one, he's just backwashed it. And that's gone, that's gone. I didn't backwash either. That's your own fault. I saw I saw bits in your mouth went back in that book. Maybe we shouldn't say that grooming too much, right?
SPEAKER_04: 48:56
I think it's too at this point, it's too late. It's it's been so much you've said it so many times.
SPEAKER_01: 49:02
I think the thing is, well, let's put this into thing. Like, it's okay for me to have a laugh and a joke about it because I was groomed as a child myself, so which is true, I was sexually abused. So before anyone comes at me and says, Oh, you're making a joke out of it, well, actually, that's how I got through it. So by talking about it and then turning not into a joke, because it's not a joking situation, but that's that's how I get through.
SPEAKER_04: 49:24
I think there's still there's still an argument to say, even by talking about it, even by having a joke about somewhere, you're still spreading awareness about it, you're still talking about something and making it more acceptable to talk about that thing.
SPEAKER_01: 49:33
Yeah. Because let's face it, the way the government are at the minute, it's a joke to them, grooming. So why can't we show people that if it's okay for the government to think of it as a joke because they don't act upon certain situations that you know we we can't joke about.
SPEAKER_00: 49:49
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: 49:50
You know, I've been through it, I've been on the other end. Yeah, it ain't a joke, but it can make life.
SPEAKER_04: 49:55
It is a fun joke. Yeah, I I think comedy I think comedy can be though, isn't it? And dark humour can be a coping mechanism, and it's it's something that yeah, I mean, uh we all use I I think anyone in our type of industry as well, I think, that that that makes content and you you're always looking for that shock, that that shock kind of reaction. I think you have to your mind has to be that way when you think of dark humour.
SPEAKER_01: 50:18
But right, so obviously I like to bring awareness to some things, yeah. And we do sketch videos, so that there's been loads of things we've done in the past where we've done it to bring awareness around situations. I can't think of one offhand. I'm sure someone might be out there but we we do it, and we know we know that it's gonna grind someone the wrong way, but it's real and it happens a lot. I think we've done one where Jess was on the phone, and I'm like, who's on the phone? Or like trying to be over controlling and you know, just bring it because it is, and it you know, it's we try to do things that do create awareness that do and it's in in the sketchy. So what am I trying to say? I've thought in the past about doing a child abuse one to bring awareness shit that's happened, and I was gonna use some of the scenarios that happened to me as a child and put it into a video, but it was too raw and there was no real way of doing it. But I've really, really wanted to do it. And the thing is, the more realistic and the more real and shocking it is, the more people see it, yeah, and the more it reaches.
SPEAKER_04: 51:22
So But the but the problem on the other side of that is then you start being one and took it for two reasons. One, you start being too real about something, then people don't want to see that. Yeah, like uh and the companies that promote not promote but push our videos out. We lost a lot of our ads. They don't push them, they don't they don't do it because because you're being too real, you talk about things that they don't want you to talk about, but they're arguably the things that we need to talk about. Like you can't like this is this is what I was gonna say earlier. Like, you can I think you can joke about anything, like so many comedians have said that you can joke about anything. That the the offence isn't given, the offence is taken. Like if you say something that offends someone, yeah, you're not trying to be offensive, you're just trying to say, you're trying to make light of a really bad situation, and there's not absolutely nothing wrong with that. Like, that's how a lot of people deal with their own trauma. So, alright, well, one last question. Yeah, what is so you said earlier there was there was something that you said and it stuck with me. Well, I can't remember the actual thing, but the the question I wanted to ask was what gave you that drive? Because you are really driven, and you had that that you had that thing of the fire and the social media and your your stepfather passing away, and I'm coming along. But what give you that drive to to just because you you're so driven now, even like you mentioned earlier.
SPEAKER_01: 52:36
Yeah. I was uh you know, I I started uh landscaping gardening, landscaping, landscape garden company. I started on my own. I'll tell you why I'm driven. I'm driven because I know and this will stick in my head forever. I was in an annual meeting for when I was in foster care. And someone, I'm not gonna say who it was, but it was someone that's meant to be caring for me. But like basically, I am I've not got future, and they were talking about the statistics of everything I've been through. The same, like one in six abusers but abused people become the abuser, and then not only they were talking about statistics of kids in foster care ending up in prison, not making anything with their lives, and that stuck with me at the age of 12. And I it was a conversation that I wasn't meant to hear. It was my social worker, oh I said it now, it was my social worker and some other people, and a family member was in that room as well, and it stuck in my head so strong that when I finally I put a story out the other day. Well, this was well, I put a story out yesterday, but this is probably gonna be later on, whenever. But about my journey to Margot and how Margate was always my home, and that was my final foster home, and it was where I was happiest. But at the age of 15, I was going around, I had my if you want a job done well, give Nick a bell. If you want a job done quick, call for Nick, a little flyer, and I'd go around and I'd hand it all out, and I was doing jobs for five pounds an hour, I was helping old people doing their gardens, and I was doing that at 15. And then when I moved back to London, I had three broken lawmars, I made two working ones out of the three broken ones, sold one of them, got myself a strimer, and I'd go around pushing my lawnmower, my strimmer on there, my little tools and that, and I'd be going around, and that's how I started doing my gardening job. And then from there, it turned into landscaping, which turned into garden design, which then turned into building. And then just before COVID, I had two teams on the go the whole time. I was developing houses, doing houses up. Uh, and that even Jack was on one of the when we started social media on the some of the jobs, weren't it? Yeah. A few videos. I was working with you before social media. I'm calling it working my own place. Well, you're paying me to be there. So like the thing is, I I struggle to do things on my own. If someone's there in the background, yeah, I get more done. So that annoyance of Jack in the background was enough to think fucking, I want to get this done quicker so we can go home. That was your real role in that job. No, he didn't care, it's done, it's done well. It did, you put your hand to it and like you've done a few things that have shot me. You know, he can weld. Jack's a really good welder. Like, hang on, let me rephrase that. He can weld, Jack can weld. I welded that toilet seat to that thing and all that. Yeah, and it's still together. Yeah, man, it's too your way.
SPEAKER_04: 55:19
Who welded that spinny thing? Was that you? Was that when you were wrong?
SPEAKER_01: 55:21
Yeah, Jack welded some of that. The spinning chair, the Dan went on. You and Depth. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, some of it. I mean, the the bits that are important weren't done by Jack, so. But something by me as well. It's hard, but we're trying to loan that.
SPEAKER_04: 55:35
Yeah. We're trying to hang that before.
SPEAKER_01: 55:36
I wouldn't have gone on that if.
SPEAKER_04: 55:37
I mean it's that's not what you were saying on the day, though, was it? This is perfectly safe, Dan, you'll be absolutely fine. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01: 55:44
It was safe, though.
SPEAKER_04: 55:45
Well, it was safe, yeah. And you were perfectly fine. Yeah, I was perfectly fine.
SPEAKER_01: 55:48
And I didn't nearly kill myself on my own afterwards.
SPEAKER_04: 55:50
You definitely did. I don't even have posted that one yet.
SPEAKER_01: 55:52
But yeah, my drive comes from that. My drive comes from the fact that there are statistics out there saying that kids in care, kids that have been abused, are basically gonna become druggies, alcoholics, abusers themselves, and in prison.
SPEAKER_04: 56:06
So you basically they write you off before you've even started. Before you've even got a chance, you're gonna lose.
SPEAKER_01: 56:11
And I I ain't I ain't had that. If someone tells me no, fuck you, I'm doing it and I'm gonna do it to the best of my ability. And and I'll push them, push me, push. But I think this man here, how many times have you said that one's died, but that's alright, I'll just spin this around. How many times have you said what's the point in doing it? We're not gonna get money from it. What's it and like and I'm like I remember saying that when it all started kicking off, I was like, mate, just stop it. Embarrassing. Yeah, it's embarrassing, and you make nothing from it. Yeah. I think you just make yourself like a prick for free. And then you started making loads of it.
SPEAKER_04: 56:44
But I think you do have that drive, you do have that in every situation because that we've been in situations where we've been trying to pull a prank on someone and something's gone wrong, or we can't do the thing, and you're like, No, we can do the thing. This is how we do it, and we find the workaround, and you will not stop until you've done it. And we sometimes don't see you you'll just get you're in your your head and you're like we lose you for half an hour, an hour, and then you come back and you're like, right, this is how we're doing it. Yeah. And you just have that.
SPEAKER_01: 57:15
I think one of your best videos was a video that went wrong, if I remember rightly, with a speaker. My best video was No, the one with Vuss, I mean, not not Yeah, it was.
SPEAKER_04: 57:25
No, it but overall, I think out of all my videos that I've ever posted, I think that's up, that's that's up there. That's possibly the one that's had the most views.
SPEAKER_01: 57:32
It's the the That was the speaker one. Actually, I think it was just a reused idea, wasn't it? Which is what social media reused. Everyone's like, oh my god, you copied Tars out. Oh my fucking god, someone done it 10 years ago.
SPEAKER_04: 57:42
Well, no, but this is what it was. It was getting us me and Jack and someone else that was there at the time. We was doing it, yeah. But there was just a better way of doing it, which someone else came up with the idea. Well, I think you come up with you come up with another idea, and that's that's that's then how we ended up then going back and doing it. But it was completely all the footage from the original one we didn't use because it was a completely different idea.
SPEAKER_01: 58:02
I shall try making something down that footage.
SPEAKER_04: 58:05
Well, yeah, it's only after it's but anyway. Well look, as the cameras have died, we should probably wrap it up. But this is definitely not therapy.
SPEAKER_05: 58:17
Why didn't you play it through it?
SPEAKER_04: 58:19
Because I've got the actual file put on it. Oh. Oh well, it sounds distorted.
SPEAKER_05: 58:23
There you go, exactly. Well look let's wrap up.
SPEAKER_04: 58:26
I think we should do this again. Thank you for coming on this. Guys, we we totally touched the surface with it, but yeah, thank you for coming and joining us.
SPEAKER_01: 58:33
If you want to see me and Jack's podcast, come over to the Smithy family. We're we're we've got a podcast and we have we have now anyone.
SPEAKER_04: 58:41
We'll have by the time this guy's out, yeah.
SPEAKER_01: 58:44
As long as you have my own. If you like this, let us know because it's actually enjoyable. We'll come down and do it again. It's good to have a little chat. This chair's fucking horror. I'm gonna smash the chair up. Alright, but it's not an hour. I feel like don't smash the chair up. I need the chair. You don't, you don't. Why'd you want three chairs? There's only one of you. We can't in here to see what we've got. All right, I'm gonna go.
SPEAKER_00: 59:04
It's definitely not therapy.
SPEAKER_04: 59:12
That's it for this episode of Definitely Not Therapy. And if you cried, laughed, smiled, or just felt slightly uncomfortable, then we've done our job. Make sure to follow, subscribe, leave a review if you can, and perhaps share this with someone who feels alone right now. Because that might make them just feel less alone. There's someone else going through the same thing as them. Whatever your story might be, whether it's co-parenting issues, divorce, breakups, heartbreak, anything, anything that goes unspoken, things that you feel like you can't talk about, come and talk to me about them. Let's help to spread some awareness.
SPEAKER_03: 59:49
All you need to do is email me at onlydanlawrence at gmail.com or DM me on any of my social media platforms.
SPEAKER_04: 59:57
Dan Lawrence on Facebook, Dan Lawrence Comedy on Instagram. Instagram or definitely not therapy pod on Instagram. I'm Dan Lawrence, and I'll see you next time.