31. What I’d Do in the 90 Days Before IVF (If I Wanted to Do It Properly)

Alright, lovely… if you’re about to start IVF or you’re hovering around it like “ummm should I be doing more here??” …this one is for you.

Because let’s be real for a second…
 IVF is not a “we’ll just see what happens” kinda vibe.

It’s emotional.
 It’s physical.
 It’s a financial investment (like… hello $17K 🫠).

So no… we’re not just rolling in with vibes and a green juice.

In this episode, I’m walking you through exactly what I would do in the 90 days before IVF if I wanted to give my body the absolute best shot. Because here’s the truth…

👉 Your eggs have been developing for the last 90 days (and beyond)
 👉 Which means this window right now? It matters. A LOT.

We’re not just talking ovaries here.
We’re talking whole-body, root-cause, get-your-sh*t-together energy.

✨ What we get into:

💥 Why egg quality = your whole body terrain (not just your ovaries doing their own little solo act)
💥 The real reason your nervous system is EVERYTHING for fertility (and why you can’t out-supplement stress… sorry babe)
💥 Simple daily rituals that actually move the needle
💥 Nutrition without going full orthorexic meltdown (we are not surviving on almonds and air, thanks)
💥 Blood sugar balance and why your hormones are low-key obsessed with it
💥 The alcohol convo no one wants… but we’re having it anyway 🍷🚫
💥 The supplements that actually matter (and why timing is everything)
💥 Root cause testing vs guessing (gut, thyroid, inflammation, nutrients, the whole shebang)
💥 Detox, gut healing, and reducing your toxic load without spiralling into fear
💥 Why filtered water is a non-negotiable (yes, I said it)
💥 And the biggest shift of all… going from overwhelmed + spiralling → calm, clear, and confident

🔥 The vibe shift we’re going for:

This isn’t about controlling the outcome (because we can’t).
But it is about walking into IVF feeling like:

✨ “I’ve done what I can”
 ✨ “My body is supported”
 ✨ “I’m not guessing anymore”

And honestly… that energy alone? Game changer.

🫶 Your next steps:

If you’re in that 90-day window right now and your brain is doing the full Google spiral…

👉 Grab my free IVF Prep Checklist
This will walk you through exactly where to start and what actually matters (no fluff, no overwhelm)
Download here: https://abiwilde.myflodesk.com/ivf

If you’re craving a little extra support, my link in bio is full of free resources to get you started — including my IVF Prep Checklist and my Two-Week Wait Support Kit to help you feel a little more grounded during that in-between.

You can also book a free 30-minute call with me if you want to chat through your fertility journey and what your next steps could look like.

And I’m currently creating something really special… BLYOOM — a supportive app experience designed specifically for women on the trying-to-conceive journey, with nervous system tools to hold you through the real, everyday moments… the two-week wait, negative tests, pregnancy announcements, all of it.

If that feels like something you need right now, you can join the waitlist here so you’re the first to know when it’s live 🤍

And if you want more, come hang out with me on Instagram @abi.wilde — it’s where I share lots of free tips, tools, and fertility vibes for whole-body healing.

Until next time, mama x

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Hi beautiful, welcome back to another episode of The Wild Way. So today's episode is all about what I would do in the 90 days before an IVF cycle if I wanted to do it properly, and we want to do it properly. Okay. So if you are about to start an IVF cycle, or you're even just sniffing around the IVF tree, okay, and you're just thinking like, am I doing everything that I can here to support my body going into it? Because you want to go in feeling clear and calm and confident, then this episode is for you. Because let's be honest, IVF isn't just something that we casually roll into, okay? Emotionally, it's a lot. Physically, it's a lot. Financially, it is a lot, okay? Like my round with Jack was about$17,000. And that was just one round. So we're not just out here just, you know, hoping for the best and just going on good vibes. We have to do the foundational work and the prep work. And the thing that really frustrates me, and what I wish women were told a lot more than they are, is that you actually have this very specific window before IBF where you can prepare your body properly. Because your eggs, they don't just magically improve the month you start doing your cycle, okay? They have been developing there for the last 90 days and beyond. So this three-month window, this is your moment, okay? This is your time. Invest your time now. So I'm gonna walk you through exactly what I would do if I had 90 days before IVF and I wanted to do it properly. And before we even get into the next steps, we do need to talk about something that is really important, okay? Because let's talk about your egg quality for a second. Your egg quality can only be as good as the terrain that supports it, okay? I want that to sink in. And when I say terrain, I'm talking about your whole body, your gut, your hormones, your thyroid, your nervous system, your inflammation levels, your nutrient status, okay? All of it matters. Because your reproductive system does not live in a vacuum, okay? It's not just out there doing its own little thing while the rest of your body is like super chaotic. Everything is super connected. So if your gut is inflamed or your body is under like constant stress, or if your nutrients are majorly depleted, then the environment that your eggs are developing in is going to be impacted by that. So we have to kind of zoom out and just take a step back because this is not just about your ovaries, okay? This is a whole body system. So if it were me, this is how I would approach those 90 days. So first up, before supplements and before protocols and before anything super fancy, I would calm my nervous system. Because you can be doing all the right things and taking all the supplements in the world, chugging back all the Coke U10, which is amazing for you, okay, and eating all the organic food. But if your body is in a constant state of stress, it changes everything. Okay. For starters, your digestive system is likely to not, you know, absorb most of the beautiful nutrients that you're getting from those supplements and from the food. And also your stress impacts your hormones, okay, and your digestion and your inflammation and your blood flow, like literally everything that we care about for fertility. And I also see so many women in this phase just kind of like spinning out, okay? We're googling everything, we're overthinking, we're analyzing every single symptom, we're saving a million posts and still feeling like, okay, yeah, cool. Thank you so much. But what really matters here? What is gonna move the needle? So I would be bringing my body back into safety as much as I possibly could. So simple things that you can do are just like get out in the morning and get some sunlight on your written's, okay? There's something really magical about morning sunlight. It's so effective. It just resets your entire circadian rhythm and helps your hormones to really work optimally. Then just things like going for a walk out in nature, okay? That's amazing for your nervous system. Just so regulating and slowing down your schedule where you can as well. I know that that can be tough. I find that tough, but it really, really does help. Implementing some breath work into your day. And it doesn't have to be like, you know, sitting there like a yogi for like 20 minutes. You can, if you have the time, beautiful. Okay, use that time. But you can just find micro moments through your day. That's the season that I'm in at the moment. I have to do micro moments of kind of breath work and self-care and things like that. So even just before, I was just doing like 10 minutes of yoga stretching, three minutes of rebounding, some breath work after I did my yoga flow, you know? Finding these moments before bed. Just do some breath work. When you wake up in the morning, do some breath work. Wherever you can while the kettle's boiling, do some breath work, okay? We can just find these little micro moments throughout the day. So effective. It's the consistency of these things, okay? Just doing these small things consistently, like really move the needle. And then another one that I love is EFT tapping. Okay, that's my wheelhouse. I love that tool. You probably already know. If you've been following me for a while, you'll know that I'm a little bit obsessed with tapping. It's such an amazing way to regulate your nervous system and regulate it fast. So I love to think about EFT, I love calling it emotional acupuncture because it literally works on all the different meridians in your body, like traditional Chinese medicine. And basically what you're doing is you're like tapping on these different meridians and you're saying certain things, like certain truths. Like we're not, we're not like doing toxic positivity vibes here with tapping. Okay, you're actually saying the hard things out loud, and then there's gentle reframes as you go down the line. But using your own words is so powerful for tapping, actually focusing on the pain that you're experiencing or the difficulty that you're experiencing. So it's just amazing at releasing these kind of like trapped emotions or you know, whatever's going on for you on an emotional mental level. So these things are not just like cute add-ons, okay? They are like a core part of my fertility prep because your body needs to feel safe to do anything well, okay? And the next thing is nutrition. And I'm not talking about going into some like super restrictive orthorixic spiral here, okay? I went down that route years ago and it is not recommended. We're not cutting out every food group and living off just air and almonds, okay? That is just not the vibe. Your body needs lots of beautiful, fresh nutrients. So the more colorful the food, the better it is. So I would focus on giving my body what it really needs, okay? So really good quality proteins. And where possible, I would highly recommend organic proteins or pasteur-raised proteins or grass-fed beef, things like that. Biodynamic eggs, just the most healthiest, most cleanest form of protein that you can. Plant-based proteins are also amazing, obviously. All the beans and legumes and all of that. Amazing. Incorporating beautiful healthy fats. Okay. So avocado and olive oil and all of these beautiful healthy fats. Olives. I love olives. I add olives to everything. So good. I also use ghee sometimes. Ghee is like clarified butter, so it just takes up the casein, which is the really difficult to digest protein that's in butter, which some people can be a reactive to. So, you know, incorporating beautiful healthy fats. I also use a lot of organic uh what's wrong with my brain? Organic coconut yogurt as well. It's so good. Add it to smoothies in the morning, or even Greek yogurt. That's also a really nice balance of protein and healthy fat as well. So balancing your blood sugar is such a huge part of prepping your body for IVF and conception because your blood sugar matters so much. When your blood sugar is crashing all the time, this is just adding another level of stress onto your body. And your body is seeing that as like a fart or flight situation. We don't want that, okay? We need to be calming our nervous system. So supporting blood sugar balance is so key. And what that looks like in reality is just building a really beautiful balanced meal. Okay. So at every meal we have a beautiful protein, we have a healthy fat, and then we have like a really beautiful whole food carbohydrate, maybe like some sweet potato or some pumpkin or something like that. Or if you love some grains, I love using a lot of quinoa and amarath. And, you know, making sure that you're having lots of colorful fruits and vegetables. So I don't recommend mixing fruit with your meal necessarily just because of digestion. It slows digestion down and causes fermentation. But what I do recommend is having like lots of beautiful, colorful vegetables on your plate. So the more variety, the better. And that way you're getting your macronutrients as well. Because your body needs these raw materials to build healthy eggs and hormones, okay? And this is about consistency over perfection every single time. So just doing these things, I know they sound simple, but just doing them consistently over time, okay, that's gonna move the needle over just trying to get everything perfect all the time. So now this one, okay. Some people won't love it, but I'm gonna say it anyway because it needs to be said. But if I was doing this properly, I would 100% cut alcohol, okay? Completely zero. Like I have a zero tolerance for alcohol when you're in the trying to conceive phase, okay? There's just so much evidence now to suggest that like there is no safe amount of alcohol to consume while you are pregnant, okay. I know some people are like, oh, just a little bit here and there. It like literally there is no safe amount, and especially in the trying to conceive phase for you and for him, okay? And I know that this is not, you know, something that everybody is celebrating right now. And I'm sure you probably want to throw something at my face, and I understand that. But this is not forever, okay? And what you need to understand is that alcohol impacts so many things, okay? It impacts your egg quality, it impacts your hormone balance, your liver function, inflammation, okay, your cognitive function as well. And your liver is doing a lot if you're doing IVF, okay? It's having to process all of those medications, all of those drugs. And we really need it working for us. So not trying to process like additional alcohol and wine on top of everything else that it's dealing with, okay? Because it's not only just dealing with these kinds of toxins, it's also just dealing with everyday environmental toxins on top of everything that you think that you're doing. So whatever you're doing now, the likelihood is that your liver is actually working harder than you even think, just based on the fact that we live in a bit of a toxic soup of a world, okay? So I know that's um a little bit daunting, it is for all of us, but I say this just to empower you so that you can make, you know, good choices for yourself. And this is not forever, okay? This is a short intentional window, okay, because we're not out here prepping for a$17,000 cycle with a cheeky wine every night. Okay. Like this matters. This matters for your health and it matters for your pockets as well. So the next layer is targeted at quality support. So this is where we get a little bit more specific. So things like CoQ10 and magnesium and antioxidants, okay, these are all helping to support your mitochondria. And you can't just be taking these things like two weeks out from like your cycle, okay, because these supplements need time to work. So you need to be taking them a minimum of 90 days before you start a cycle or an egg retrieval, because you need those beautiful supplements to actually be able to like respond and actually absorb into your body and into your tissues and into your beautiful eggs. Okay. So yeah, all of these supplements are amazing for supporting your mitochondria, which, you know, we're not going to get too science-y, but it basically means supporting, you know, the energy inside of your eggs because your eggs need energy, okay? They need a lot of energy. They are little power-hungry little machines, and they need the right environment. Now, this is the part that I think is the biggest missing piece for most women. If I really wanted to do this properly, I would look at root cause. And ideally, I would test. Now, I'd want to know exactly what was going on in my body, okay? I'd want to be looking at things like my gut health and my thyroid function and my inflammation markers and my nutrient deficiencies, mineral balance, my ratio of omega-3s to omega-6s, and potentially even heavy metals, okay, because they are everywhere. So all of these impact your egg quality and how your body responds during IVF. So instead of like guessing, you will actually have the data and be able to put together a proper plan. Now I get that testing isn't always accessible for everyone, okay? So if I couldn't test or I couldn't afford to test, I would still take a really intentional approach here. I would be looking at like maybe doing a functional medicine detox, okay. I would really be focusing on gut healing because your gut holds 80% of your immunity. Okay. So I say this to all of my clients. If you don't know where to start and you have no idea, there are two things that I always would focus on. And number one, nervous system regulation, as I previously mentioned, and number two, focusing on my gut health and healing my gut, okay? Because your gut is literally 80% of your immune system. Well, up to roughly, okay. So it really, really, really matters. So if you are actually fixing your gut and healing your gut and making sure that your gut is working optimally, your digestion is working optimally, you know, you don't have crazy dysparosis, you don't have like Helicobacter pylori in the background, you don't have major candida overgrowth, things like that can really mess with your overall health and your overall inflammation and your overall body's load that it's carrying, okay? So yeah, supporting imbalances in the gut are so, so important. And then I would also look at doing a heavy metal detox, okay? Just because we are coming into contact with so many heavy metals pretty much on a daily basis. We even breathe some of it in. It's like in our drinking water. So I'll get to water in a minute because you know how passionate I am about drinking filtered water. But if you eat out, right, if you eat at cafes, if you eat at restaurants, you're getting heavy metals. They're using like gross Teflon pans and you know, aluminium foil and all kinds of things, okay? They're not exactly sitting there thinking about our health. So heavy metals are everywhere. And also, if you, you know, had childhood vaccines and things like that, like from our generation, they had mercury and aluminium in those vaccines. So if you've never done a heavy metal detox, it's really an important part because heavy metals can really mess with your body's overall toxic load. So we're talking overall inflammation levels and how your body's responding. And this is exactly what I did. You know, I did all of these things. I even did a parasite protocol as part of mine. You can choose to do that or not, but I personally believe that everybody should be doing a parasite protocol. Because if you have a pet, if you have a dog, I have a dog called Saxon, you can see him in the background there. He's having a little snooze. Um, if you have cats, if you are in contact with domestic animals, you 100% do have parasites. And I'm not talking about, you know, just parasites living in your gut or in your stool or doing a stool analysis to see if parasites are there. They can be anywhere in your body, okay? They can even like set up camp in your ovaries, in your brain. So parasites are a big one. It doesn't harm you to do a parasite protocol, it doesn't harm you to do a heavy metal detox, it doesn't harm you to do functional medicine detox. All of these things are actually going to support your body in the most positive way possible. So I actually took the time to prepare my body properly before IVF. So I did all of this stuff. I supported my gut, I reduced my inflammation, I cleaned things up, and my IV outcomes were actually really great. And I don't say that to trigger you or to have any form of comparison here because everybody's got such a different picture of what's going on, okay? But at the very end of my heavy metal detox, I actually fell pregnant naturally with my daughter Sadie. So my second child, Sadie, and on my wedding day, which is actually kind of crazy, okay? Still feels really wild to be honest. And look, we're all exposed to stuff in modern life, okay? No one's exempt. We're all dealing with it, okay? We're all getting it through our food, through our water, through our environment. So this isn't about fear, this is about awareness and doing what you can to support your body, you know? Like simple things, filtered water, drinking filtered water. Are you drinking filtered water? There are heavy metals in your drinking supply. There have been trace levels of pharmaceutical drugs in water, there's chlorine in water. All of this stuff, I personally believe that we're being poisoned slowly, you know, to avoid acute illness, okay? Because they have to treat the water, they have to put chlorine, they have to put all these things in the water to try and kill off the bugs, okay? Because otherwise we'd have an epidemic of like giardia and things like that, which, you know, would be really, really awful. But it's up to us as consumers, as civilians, to understand that the things that are in our water, just our normal water supply, are adding to our toxic load. And we just want to be reducing our toxic load as much as we possibly can. There's only so much that we can control in this world. And what we can control, we should control, and what we can't, we let go, right? Like I can't control the fact that there's, you know, microplastics just in the air and we're just breathing this stuff in. I can't control that there's pollution out there that I have no control over. Okay. Yes, I can get an air purifier. I happen to live near a national park, so I believe that the trees are doing most of that for me. But, you know, you can get air purifiers if you live, you know, in a congested kind of city environment. So it's all these little things that when we stack them up and we just do them consistently, they really make a big difference to our bodies on a whole level, you know, on a whole body root cause fertility standpoint. Also, bathing in clean water, you know, I know I bang on about this a lot, but your skin is your biggest organ, okay? It's literally every time you take a shower or a bath in unfiltered water, your body is just absorbing all that chlorine. It's just soaking it in. So every contaminant that's in your water supply is literally going in through your skin. So a really great thing that you can do is A, get a water filter for under your sink so that you're drinking clean filtered water, and get a shower filter. If you have a shower, get a shower filter. If you can afford a whole house filtration system, for me, it's a non-negotiable. Our whole house is filtered. And then we also have a reverse osmosis to take out the fluoride under the sink. But you know, that's a non-negotiable for me. It's really high up on my list of values, okay, is health and wellness, which is why you're here, which is why you're listening to this podcast. So, yeah, filtered water. That's a good thing to do. Another thing you can do is you can also get those shower filters and actually install them under your sink. They don't take out things like fluoride, but they will take out, you know, a large amount of it. And I'll actually link to hydrogen health because I love hydrogen health, okay? In Australia, I love their water filters, I love their shower filters. They are amazing products. So I'll link to that if anybody's interested. So another thing is like, you know, just eating whole foods. It's just simple. Just eat real food. Try to avoid packaged foods as much as possible. Okay. Anything that comes in a packet or looks like it's been refined. Even like, you know, large amounts of things like breads and gluten-free breads and all these kinds of things, they're all very refined. So stick to Whole Foods if it's on the outskirts of the supermarket. You know, you're pretty much doing pretty well. So another thing when it comes to Whole Foods is just to watch out for, you know, pesticides and glyphosate and things like that. All of these things are sprayed on our food. So where possible, eat organic where you can afford to. I know that's not always possible. You can try and get like a nice fruit and veggie wash if you uh can't afford to do that, or at least just follow the clean 15 and the dirty dozen. I'll link to that uh in the show notes as well. So the reason why you want to avoid having conventional produce as much as possible is because those things become endocrine disruptors and they can really mess with your hormones. And again, they just add to your overall toxic load. It's just extra burden that we're adding to your body's overall toxic burden. So we're just trying to lighten the load the whole time. That's just the goal, you know? Um, and yeah, just supporting your detox pathways, you know, all of these things, it all adds up. So every morning I love to start my morning with a warm lemon water. I try to make my fixture elixir, which is like a whole ginger turmeric uh lemon kind of concoction with some olive oil and things like that. But I don't always have time to do that. Okay, I don't always have time. Sometimes I make a batch, it lasts a week, and then the next week I don't have it because I just haven't managed to find the time. Just juggling kettos and all the stuff. So, you know, my low rent, non-negotiable every morning is lemon water with electrolytes every morning. That's also because I'm breastfeeding, so I just need to stay on top of my electrolytes because I'm still breastfeeding Sadie quite a lot. But you know, you can just add a pinch of really good quality sea salt to your lemon water, that'll be enough. I do have a nice little electrolyte powder that I do there, so that's great for supporting your liver first thing in the morning as well. So all of these things add up, you know. And the last thing that I would do is I would probably just stop trying to piece this all together on my own because confusion creates more stress, yeah. And stress impacts your body. So you don't need like more information, right? Like we're just getting spammed. I'm getting spammed. Everybody's getting spammed. So you just need the right plan for you. Because at the end of the day, this isn't about trying to control the outcome, okay? We can only do so much. There's only so much that we can do, there's only so much that we can control, and the rest, you know, is kind of out of our hands. But it is about changing how we walk into it, okay? So from feeling like super overwhelmed and super uncertain, like you're just guessing your way through everything. And the goal is to start feeling clear and supported and actually confident in what you're doing. Because IVF is a big investment, okay? And you deserve to feel like you've done everything you can on your side. So if you are in that 90-day window right now, I've created a free IVF prep checklist for you. It'll walk you through exactly where to start and just like hopefully remove all the overwhelm for you, okay? And if you want support with this, this is literally what I do with my clients. Okay. We prepare your body properly from the ground up so you can walk into IVF feeling super calm, clear, and confident. Okay. So hopefully this episode landed for you. And if you or your bestie is going through IVF, please share this episode with her because I'm sure she will want to know where to start. I know it can feel super overwhelming. There is so much conflicting advice out there. But just remember that nothing works in isolation. Okay. Your body is part of a whole body system. Okay. So if you've got things going on, if you've got PCOS, if you've got endometriosis, these are not isolated events. It's not just like, oh, I have endo. Like, I get it. Okay. I've had endo too. It's a lot. But it's not an isolated event. It is a response that your body is having to a deeper imbalance. So the goal of doing this work is to correct those imbalances, okay? The body knows how to heal. We just have to give it the right environment so that it can do it, so that it can do its job. Yeah. So I hope that this feels empowering for you. And I hope that you're feeling pumped about, you know, maybe grabbing that checklist and having a look at ways that you can support your body on a deeper level. So, as always, I'm totally here for you. If you want to have a chat about anything, please feel free to find me on Instagram at abby.wild and, you know, just DM me, have a chat. I'm here anytime you want. I also offer free clarity calls. So if that's something that interests you, if you just want to have a chat about where you're at or where you've been or have another head in the game, I'm so down for a little chat. So there's no pressure. We can just sit down together and gnat out exactly what you've done, what you've tried, and what your plan should look like moving forward. Okay, well, thanks so much for joining me today, and I'll catch you in the next one.