Menopause, Emotional Blocks & Nervous System Healing with Bhupi

A conversation about why midlife and menopause can bring stored stress, emotional overwhelm and identity shifts to the surface — and how nervous system support, energy healing and self-trust can help women reconnect with themselves. 

In this powerful and honest conversation, Soraya is joined by Bhupi Panesar to explore menopause, nervous system regulation, emotional blocks and energy healing — and why midlife can feel like a wake-up call for so many women.

Bhupi shares her personal story of navigating menopause symptoms, stored stress, identity shifts and deep emotional overwhelm, and explains how the body can hold onto years of responsibility, suppression and survival mode. Together, Soraya and Bhupi explore what happens when women begin to slow down, listen to their bodies and reclaim themselves in midlife.

Inside this episode, we explore:

•  why menopause can surface stored emotions and old patterns 
•  how chronic stress and high cortisol affect the nervous system 
•  the connection between the body, energy and emotional healing 
•  why so many women lose themselves in caregiving, people-pleasing and survival mode 
•  the role of boundaries, self-care and inner listening in midlife 
•  a simple grounding breath practice to calm the nervous system 

This is a supportive conversation for any woman navigating perimenopause, menopause, burnout, anxiety, emotional exhaustion or a midlife identity shift.

Connect with Bhupi:
https://www.instagram.com/bhupi_panesar/

https://www.facebook.com/Bhupi.Panesar.Henna4You

https://bhupipanesar.com/

Transcript

Soraya 0:00

So hi Bhupi, welcome to the podcast.

Bhupi 0:03

Thank you.

Soraya 0:04

Great to have you here today. So before we start, could you just share a little bit about your journey personally and professionally and what led you into this work?

Bhupi 0:12

Honestly, I came into this work through like the back door. I wasn't looking for energy healing. I was just trying to survive without completely falling apart. Um, I stumbled into energy healing just by accident. And within a few sessions, my back pain was gone. And honestly, my mom noticed before I did. She said I was walking differently and I hadn't complained about my back in a while. And honestly, I didn't even clock on that this had happened. And uh it took my mom to say, you know, you you don't have the pain anymore. And I'd had it since I was 18. Um, I injured my back, and it got worse after I had the kids. I tried everything. And my chiropractor wanted to fire me as a patient because I kept ignoring his advice and pushing to anyway, like we do as women, right? Yeah, we've got so much to do, and that was literally the beginning. I started working on myself, then other people, mostly women, but men, domestic pets and horses, homes and kids, cars, you name it, I've worked on it. And the result, then the results.

Soraya 1:22

So, what was it? Sorry, Bhupi, was the last thing you said you worked on?

Bhupi 1:26

Um, homes and children and cars of all the things. Yeah, cars. That's what I thought you said.

Soraya 1:34

Actual cars.

Bhupi 1:36

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Soraya 1:37

Wow, okay.

Welcome to Bhupi Panesar

How Bhupi discovered energy healing

Bhupi 1:38

Yeah, I had one client, it her car just kept breaking down and she couldn't figure out why. And you know how your energy just stays in the from the previous owners and stuff? So it was just like there were a lot of fights in there, and the car just kind of took on the energy, and then once we cleared it, she never had a breakdown again after that. Wow. But anyway, and honestly, the results just shock me because they keep showing up in different ways every single time. So I I've stopped expecting a result because I don't know what it's going to be. So before of all of this, I was a hen artist for 30 years, and through that, I started teaching uh the art of mandalas as a tool for breath work, and that's actually where my healing journey began. If I, you know, when I sat down to really think about when it started. And there's something when you sit down with a mandala, the repetition, the breath, the focus, it's it, you know, it's very meditative.

Soraya 2:37

For those who don't know, I do know what it is, but can you explain what a mandala is?

Bhupi 2:41

Yeah, a mandala is uh literally the circle of life. It's a circular design that you start working from the inside and then to the outside. And every single time there's another outer circle, it's another layer for you to draw designs on, and it's just a way to focus on um on your breath and uh focus on uh what you're drawing, and that way it takes all the attention away from everything else because you're so focused. And I've done this with um kids in school who've got anxiety, ADHD, and all that kind of, you know, anything um where they need special needs. So I've done classes with the with with little children in schools, and after a while the teacher started noticing that um they were calming down, and every single time they felt anxiety, they'd just pull a piece of paper and start drawing and colouring. And that's really what what mandala drawing is all about.

Soraya 3:46

Um sorry, but is it different to like just regular drawing and colouring?

Bhupi 3:52

Yeah, so when you when you're drawing a mandala, you have to focus, right? And even with the it's similar to the coloring as well, but because you're drawing, you're you're you're moving your your hands and everything. And like I've had class of like 20, and I'll say to them uh in the workshop and I'll say, you know, if you want to be touched or not touched, you know, tell me now because I'll come around when you're holding your breath, and they all started laughing. Yeah, not happening. And then within two minutes of the workshop starting, I'll see people holding their breath, and I'll go and I'll touch them and they go, Oh my god, I didn't even realize that I did that. But it's like, you know, when we're so focused on doing something, we hold our breath. Yeah, and we don't we don't allow all the oxygen to go in and out, and it doesn't calm ourselves. So it's one of the ways to calm your nervous system down as well. It really helps because you're breathing, like you know, and then during the class, I'll always say, Okay, I need you to take a deep breath in now, you know, and then just release for four, hold for four, and it makes such a difference. And I've had people say to me afterwards, you know, ever since I've started following that, it's made a huge difference because now um I don't get anxiety after I'm doing that or after I've colored a book or after I've colored a page or drawn something. You know, and it's it's just a learning technique because we've all done that. And I know I do that when I'm so focused on doing something, I just hold my breath without even realizing that I'm doing it.

Soraya 5:31

Yeah, I think we we all do that. We don't realize we're not very mindful of our own breathing, and we we we're quite shallow breath work as well, don't we? So it's only when you really take a deep breath and let go you realize how much you're holding on to. So I think that's really important that you're talking about that. Exactly. Yeah, no. Um, and was there a particular moment or life phase when your body or intuition began to speak louder than your mind?

Bhupi 5:53

Oh my god, probably my 50s, um, without a doubt. Yeah, I remember um I was driving on the QEW, it's a really major highway, very, very busy. And I was about 20 minutes from home, out of nowhere, complete dizziness. Not what, you know, like you get the dizziness when you stand up so really fast. Yes. Um, it wasn't that kind of thing. All of a sudden I got really dizzy and I couldn't even see what was in front of me. So I had to pull over, and then I ordered an Uber for my son to come and pick me up. And I was just 20 minutes from home, and I thought, oh, this is just I'm just exhausted. And then I talked to my GP and he said, Oh, welcome to another menopause symptoms. And I didn't even realize it was a menopause symptom. It's like the inner ear is also losing um estrogen, and my ears had a very strong opinion about that, and that was the moment I realized I'd been ignoring my body for years, decades and decades actually. And suddenly I had no choice but to listen and get some help. And I think that's when I went to see the doctor, and he's like, okay, we got to find a new strategy for you. And because I can't take HRT, I had to find natural remedies to try and fix this. And it wasn't until um I started energy healing that all of these symptoms started just disappearing.

Soraya 7:19

So, how old were you when you started the energy healing then, Bhupi?

Menopause symptoms and the body speaking louder

Bhupi 7:22

Um, I'd say probably about three or four years ago. Um, but I didn't know it was called energy healing. Breathing through it, calming myself down. And I did Reiki for many, many years before that. And I couldn't practice on other people because I found I was taking other people's um energy onto myself, and I'd feel so ill afterwards, so I stopped helping other people um and then just worked on myself. So I'd already been doing that for oh my god, before Reiki became really big. So we're talking uh mid-90s.

Soraya 8:02

Right?

Bhupi 8:03

So I've been doing Reiki since then. So yeah, so I'd always been doing the energy healing, and you know, I just found that my hands um are so they get really, really hot um when I'm doing um any kind of healing. And then um obviously because I'd been doing Reiki and stuff, um, I just know how to take the energy out of my body. And you know, if if my kids were having an issue, I'd just do that. So just stand there and then I would literally just go from the top of their head all the way down to their toes and just get rid of any energy that was bothering them. And that's how I've always done it. And it wasn't until a year ago that I actually learned how to remove emotions and blocks from your body. So everything I do comes from having lived it, right? So um my separation, the divorce that started in 2018. Let's not even go down that road because it's still going. Um, I moved countries, a body I didn't recognize anymore. I have two adult children who are no longer speaking to me. Um, and running on absolutely nothing but fumes and telling everybody else I was fine. So, you know, so all my experiences have kind of shaped how I teach, and because I've I've lived through it, right? Because I know what it's like to be the capable one, the calm one, you know, the one who um holds everything together. And, you know, the fixer, you know, the people, the one that everybody comes to. Hey, can you tell me how, what to do? How do I how do I do this? So when women come to me and say they don't know who they are anymore, I completely understand. And I know it's not the end of something, but the beginning of something far more honest and bigger because they've been suppressing themselves for so long and suppressing their feelings so much that they they don't even know who they are anymore. And I've felt like that for probably the last 20 years.

Soraya 10:15

Yeah, which makes it even more powerful the way you've experienced it. So you're not able to go out and help other women going through it.

Bhupi 10:22

Yeah, no, definitely, definitely. It's been a big page turner, actually, because you just don't realize how much our body stores, right?

Soraya 10:31

Yeah, the body holds score, right? That that's the the famous book.

Bhupi 10:36

Yeah.

Soraya 10:36

How we're holding on to everything that we're not expressing. It has to come out somehow. And what happens if we don't express it? It's being stored in the body and we get sick as the disease that we're experiencing, right?

Bhupi 10:46

Yeah, no, exactly, exactly. And we don't realize this until we're later on in life, when you know, we're empty nesters and we go, oh, and you've got time to breathe. And you go, What the hell happened over the last 20 years?

Soraya 10:58

Yeah, and you am I, I think you know, throughout that you lose your identity, don't you? When you get married and you have children, you've got all these different hats you're playing. And as you said, as your kids get older, you start to have more time and you see who you are, what you actually want. You forget what you want.

Speaker 3 11:13

Exactly. Yeah, we put everything on a shelf and deal with it later, deal with it later.

Soraya 11:19

And that's I think what it is is um, you know, the midlife crisis where you see that women kind of wake up and say what's going on, and then you know, you actually express yourself, you say what it is that you want, and all the time you just keep keeping the peace and keeping quiet. How would you describe the work you do in your own words and the essence of how it works when you work with your clients?

What emotional blocks are

Bhupi 11:38

I work with the body's energy system and literally I clear what's being stored in your body, and I know that sounds like I've just disappeared into woo-woo land, so I'm gonna bring it back and you're in the right place, B. People just look at me strangely and go, What are you talking about? And it's really simple. It's science, it's biology, and it's physics, right? So it goes so far back to like you know, Einstein and what he did. So it's not random, it's literally just science. So our bodies really don't do anything random. So, you know, when you get the tight shoulders and the migraine and you know the lower back pain that keeps coming up, that's our body telling us that we've got something stored and we haven't dealt with it. But we go, oh, it's just a backache, it's just this, it's just that. But what I do is I work at the level where, excuse me, I work at the level where that stored up crap actually happens, not through talking about it, not through thinking your way through it, because you can't think your way through it because nothing's gonna happen, but through the energy system itself, like I use muscle testing and um I communicate directly with the body to find out what's being held and where, and then I clear the blocks. Um and here's the bit that still gets to me every single time. When I clear one area, everything starts to shift, right? So because everything is connected. Um, sometimes I'll get somebody saying they've got like really severe anxiety, and we start clearing the root of the anxiety, um, and suddenly their sleep improves, their relationships get easier, everything is connected, not everything separately, but because the body system is, and we've cleared the root. So just like you would clear something on a tree, then all the branches start to respond, right? So you're feeding the tree the nutrients, and then it's not just the roots that are going to get those nutrients, it's everything else that's within the tree, the branches, the leaves, everything. So, and it's the same with our body. So if we look on a cellular level of what the body looks like and what the tree is, it's so similar, right? Like all the little veins that go everywhere, the branches, the everything, you know, our bodies, when you compare it to nature, it's literally almost the same. So, yeah, right. So when you fix one thing, you fix something else at the same time.

Soraya 14:20

Yeah, absolutely. It's like you know, the same kind of thing as what I do in my work. We look at the root cause, we go to the bottom and pull it out as opposed to just putting a plaster on top because you know it's a bit like a whack-camole, you get rid of one, something else will come in its place, right? You need to really go down and pull it out. And like you said, it's all interrelated, it's not in isolation. Yeah. Um, and how does intuition guide your sessions and what role does listening to the body play in your approach?

Bhupi 14:49

Um, I find muscle testing, as I mentioned before, is how I listen to the body directly. It um it bypasses what we think is happening and then goes straight to the body because that's where the answers are. The body always knows more than we do. Um, the body recognizes things before our mind does. It's you know, it's like your gut instinct, but turned really high up in frequency. So sometimes something will come up in a session with a client, you know, that she hasn't mentioned before, hasn't even thought about it, doesn't consciously connect to anything, and it's the right thing. And every time I've stopped being surprised by it because I've learned to trust. And um now I don't question. So, for example, if that client sings or that I sing, which is really a bad idea because I honestly can't hold a note, but you know, like I'll ask through muscle testing, what do we need to do? And sometimes the energy will say, you need to dance or you need to read. And then at first I thought it was really odd and really, really strange. But if that's what the body is telling me to do, that's what you have to do, right? And it sounds completely nuts and like, oh my god, this woman is like crazy. But honestly, if you do what the body tells you to do when we're clearing, it works.

Soraya 16:15

So you're getting kind of like messages from the body when you're doing these. Um, yes.

Muscle testing and listening to the body

Bhupi 16:21

So with muscle testing, it gives me a yes or no answer, right? So I'll go through a muscle testing and then I'll go, okay, what do I need to do? Or what does what does she need to do? You know, let's say her name is Jane. What does Jane need to do? Um, does she need to dance? Then I'll get a no. And then does she need to sing? No. Does she need to drink water? Yes, right. So then I make sure, right? So that's how that's how the muscle testing works. I can't ask random questions and expect answers, but if I ask yes, no answers, we can get down to the nitty-gritty, right down to the bottom of what the actual issue is and where the blocks are. And once you start removing those blocks, you know, you you get a side, you, you know, some women have said, Oh my god, that felt so amazing. It's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Soraya 17:10

For those of I mean, I've I've done, I've had kinesiology before. So I guess it's the same kind of thing of muscle testing. But for those women who haven't had any type of muscle testing, can you just briefly explain how that works? What's muscle testing?

Bhupi 17:21

So it's not like kinesiology um muscle testing, you know, where they where they where they know that your leg is going to kick or whatever. So this is working with the body's energy, and then I I connect, I get permission from the client to connect to their energy, and then we're both connected, and then you know, I go, and then I'll ask because you're connected to the universe, right? This is where we're getting all the answers from. So it's your energy connected to the universe, and then I ask the questions. Okay, um, so I had somebody who asked me, Why is her um, you know, when is she going to start feeling calm again? Because she had PTSD. And, you know, and that was the question I put out. Um, and I said, um, you know, are there any blocks preventing her from doing this? And the answer was yes. So I went through, I've got, I've got a chart of like 90 to 120 different types of blocks that a person can have in their system. Um and it's something very similar to what uh Dr. Bradley Nielsen does. So I go through and I go, okay, is it on, you know, let's let's take fear for an example. So that's in row two. Is it in uh, and then I'll ask, is it in between rows one to five or six to ten? And that's how I get my answers. Yes, no, yes, no. And I use my fingers to do it, and I have to show you how it works. Um, because then I'll, you know, then my fingers will either, if if it's a no, then my fingers spread apart. And if it's a yes, my fingers just don't move from that position. I know it sounds really bizarre, but there honestly, there's a technique for doing this. And the first time I did this, I was like, wow, oh my god, I cannot believe this is this is so true. And I started reading up and reading Dr. Uh Bradley's book a couple of years ago.

Soraya 19:18

What's the name of his book? Because I haven't heard of him.

Bhupi 19:22

It's called the Body Code.

Soraya 19:23

Oh, I have heard of the body code. I didn't know the author, the body code. Yeah, I remember that.

Speaker 3 19:27

Yeah, yeah. It's called the body code. Um, he's uh one of them is called the emotion code, and the other one's called the body code. The body code is like really in-depth um and goes through every single element that you can possibly have. And uh the one about the emotions is literally every emotion that can get stuck in your body. So obviously, he's a he's a doctor, he's done so much research, and he's been using this for more than like 25, 30 years. Um, and this is like before we even knew about it. So I started following him, I started reading the book, I started learning more, and that's how I really got into knowing all of this. And the first time I tried um um muscle testing, I was like blown away. And even when I do it with other people, they're just like, oh my god, that really happened, and yes, it did. And then they, you know, and they go, Oh my god, you didn't even touch me to move me. So most of the ones when I do it with other people is through the sway method. So if the answer is a yes, you move your body automatically moves forward. If it's a no, your body moves back. Right. And that's called the sway method. There's loads and loads of methods. I just found one that works for me.

Soraya 20:49

Yeah, thanks for explaining that. It's really fascinating how it works. But I guess it's the same when when I when we've hypnosis, we have like the IMR movements, you know, EDMO responses. So when we when we communicate, when we do the therapy session, the body, the hand moves in reply to questions. So I guess it's the same kind of concept, the body and the mind, right? That relation. And you're in the case of the energy. Well, when I first saw it, I also thought it was magic. I thought what's going on? I didn't really believe it until I experienced it myself. So yeah, it's amazing what the body does and the connection we all have, it's all kind of interrelated.

Bhupi 21:24

Oh, definitely, definitely. Our mind is just unbelievable, unbelievable what what our mind and our bodies can do.

Soraya 21:32

And it's like you said, it's um there's a different level to it, being connected to the universe. I think we forget all of that, and that's how we block ourselves.

Speaker 3 21:39

Yes. Yeah, we're just so busy doing our everyday, we forget about everything else, and we just go into we we so how can I spell it? It's like waking up in the morning, you know, the first thing you're gonna do is, you know, go and brush your teeth and go put the coffee on. You know, it's just Automatic without even thinking about it.

Soraya 22:02

Yeah. I know. I think, but we also forget that we are, you know, spiritual beings at the end of the day, living, you know, in these vessels, these human vessels, but ultimately we're all spiritual, and that's how we should be leading our lives. But we forget because we get stuck in the traps of every day, you know. So, and I think that's so important in this point of our lives. A lot of us do kind of wake up and see there's more to it than how we're living.

Speaker 3 22:29

Oh, definitely, definitely. I find the older you get, the more you're you start to think in that matter, only because you've got the time now, whereas before you're so busy dealing with the kids, you know, the baby, the kid, you know, every single part of your life with children is just so busy until they've start to, you know, do things by themselves. But uh even when they're adults, you're still running around after them.

Soraya 22:56

And you know, they well, I was gonna say, you might my kids are a little older and I've had a lot, you know. I I think there's just that point in my life when I'm starting to question a lot of things and seeing things in a different way as well, you know, when you get to that age. Oh, yes, I know I'm not using that word that age, but I know, but I mean, I don't know how to describe it, it's like at that point in our lives when we really see more than what we've seen up until now, you know, it's quite special.

Bhupi 23:26

Um only because our focus has been somewhere else, you know. Um and you know, I find that we've all grown up with looking, you know, um, you know, being Indian, it's always been education. Your education is really important. So you go through school, high school, you focus on your grades, make sure you get the top grades, then you've got to go to university. After university, you've got to, you know, start your career. And you know, everything is already being pre-done for us. And it's not until we get older we go, oh, hold on a minute. I don't want to.

Soraya 23:59

Why I want this anymore. Yeah.

Bhupi 24:01

You know, why am I why am I a hamster on a wheel? And that's how I spent most of my life was.

Soraya 24:07

But that's it, it's like you said, I think that's a very cultural thing, and it's also this whole people pleasing in general, as women, we by default we do that, and it's like being the carers and trying to make everyone happy and we forget our own needs. And I think that's what it is. That's why we have these explosions when we've just had enough. Yes, yes. I think um going back to that about just living the stressful life. How does the nervous system regulation show up in your work? Because a lot of us, you know, we have a lot of stress as a hypervigilance. How do you see that in your work?

Nervous system regulation in midlife

Bhupi 24:43

Oh my gosh. Um, you know what? Um, our nervous system is at the center of everything. And I find that most of the women that I work with have been running on really high um cortisol for years, and that includes myself. Honestly, I have to sit put my hand up and say, yes, that was me too. And sometimes it's been for decades, right? And our nervous system has been in survival mode for so long that it becomes our baseline because we don't know how else to figure things out. We work on that stress and it becomes a normal when it really shouldn't be the normal. And the problem is you can't heal from that state, right? You've got, excuse me, somebody's at the door, so the dog's gone nuts. I apologize. So the problem is you can't heal from that state. Um, the high cortisol affects our sleep, our digestion, our mood, our energy, our hormones. And then as we get older, it gets worse because the hormonal buffer that used to help regulate the nervous system starts to shift and it really starts to decline because honestly, our buffer is ogen, right? So the first thing I do is I calm the nervous system, not by talking about it, but by actually working with it. So when it settles, everything else becomes possible. So sleep improves, digestion improves, and then the emotional uh reaction that we have starts to ease. So you're not crying, screaming, and acting like a crazy person all the time. Um, and that's when the body finally starts to feel safe again. Because until your body starts to feel safe, not in our mind, but the body itself, until it starts to feel safe, it's not going to calm down. Right. Um and when we start running on adrenaline and um, you know, stress and everything else, our body cannot heal because it's like on a how can I put it? It's on like a really high energy, like a rubber band. It's been stretching, it's stretching and stretching to its limits, and that's what happens.

Soraya 26:51

So, how many sessions does um do your clients need in order to have that safety in their body?

Bhupi 26:56

You know what? Everybody is different. So sometimes it can be, you know, the first session. And we've done the first session, and then I don't see them for maybe two weeks or three weeks, but their body starts to, you know, once I've we've we've started working and removing some blocks and you know, using some other tools, their body starts to calm down. And it may not be immediate, it may be two days later or a week later, right? Because you've just removed something that's been um really bothering your body and you're removing something that's been there for years and years. So when it holds on to that, it can take days, a week, maybe a month for it to start doing it. But it doesn't mean that I've only done, you know, I may have only done the one session, and sometimes it can take two, three sessions over a couple of months for everything to um to start working back again. You've got the you've got to realize that the body's been holding on to this for years and years. So sometimes it can take you know, weeks and months for everything to start easing away because you're pulling layer by layer, right? You're taking you you're literally taking each layer and pulling it down and pulling it down. And it's not until you get right down to the bottom and you go, oh my God, you know, that's when the client feels it. And even when I had my very first session, I was shocked by obviously the muscle testing, but it wasn't until months later everything started to click into place, you know, my back pain disappeared and my migraines disappeared, and all of those kinds of things. So it's not it's not something that you're gonna find straight away. You feel a shift straight away, but it's not something that's gonna happen immediately. Does that make sense?

Soraya 28:53

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. So, another question I have. So you remove these blocks, and over time, you know, through a shift, but do the blocks come back? So you you do this work to get rid of the blocks, but have you seen clients get the blocks back in the place or different blocks?

Speaker 3 29:08

Yeah, that's a really good question. Some of them can come back and not related to the initial symptom that it had. So, you know, um, you can get triggered right one day, and one of the blocks may come back. And but it's you know one of those things that you just keep going and going, and then slowly and slowly you you start to remove the blocks. Like I remove blocks like for myself. I'm gonna give you an example. I remove blocks like maybe you know, five months ago, and then one or two of them will come back because something has triggered me somewhere along the line, and um, and I haven't even noticed, but my body notices, and then it starts to hold on. And the minute I know my shoulders start getting stiff, um, I know that something's not right, and then I go back and I start looking at what's actually happening, and that's when I know, okay, that block's come back. But it's very rare that so the first time I removed blocks for uh myself, um I think it was 20 blocks, and I was like, oh my gosh, is this never gonna end? But now I'll get like maybe three or four every you know, couple of months or a couple of weeks. But I work my I work on myself every single day because it's so important to me that I start healing my body from the inside out.

Soraya 30:32

Yeah, right. Yeah, definitely. It's like a spring clean.

Speaker 3 30:37

It is, it is, it's like a literal spring clean, right? It's like cleaning out your gut, but you know, every now and again you eat something and then your gut reacts and you go, Oh, I shouldn't have done that.

Can emotional blocks come back?

Soraya 30:48

But sometimes it's uh an emotion, a trigger that you see something and you don't even realize it's triggering you because when you describe it, kind of reminds me of like I do believe in like feng shui and clutter, how clutter blocks energy. So, what you're describing, what you do, is that the same kind of thing, you're clearing that out in the body because that's also blocking the energy, isn't it? To flow properly.

Bhupi 31:10

Exactly, exactly. So if one part of your body isn't functioning properly, the rest of it is not gonna work efficiently and you know the way that it's supposed to be designed to work, yeah, allowing the energy to flow freely through the body, right? Exactly, exactly.

Soraya 31:26

Interesting, and so why does midlife so often invite deeper embodiment and in the listening?

Bhupi 31:34

Because we've got time, yeah, because we've got time. Um, it's really simple. Um, the oxygen in our body slows down, and that, as I mentioned before, was our major buffer, and then our body stops tolerating being ignored, and then something um about this particular part of a woman's life makes it impossible to, you know, to stop brushing things under the carpet. And as women, we do that so much. Oh, I'll deal with it later, you know, I'll deal with it later.

Soraya 32:09

Being the peacekeeper bookie is easier sometimes just to keep quiet and then don't you say brush under the carpet.

Bhupi 32:14

And that's what builds up resentment, right? And you go, oh my god, I can't deal with this anymore. So, and because the oxygen isn't there anymore, that's why we suddenly can't take the nonsense we used to put up with. Like I couldn't take HRT, so it was even more intense for me, right? So most of our lives we're overridden by signals, right? We're pushed through tiredness, we swallow, you know, we swallow all that frustration and we just keep going because there's always someone who needs us. And then we arrive at menopause and all our all our strategies that we used before, they just stop working because our hormones shift, and the body's ability to buffer the stress changes. And that's what we've got to remember that the way we used to handle stress in our 30s and 40s is not the way we handle stress in our, you know, like late 40s, early 50s. And suddenly you can't push your way through it, and then the weight of everything you've been carrying becomes impossible, and you just can't pretend anymore. And then, you know, the emotions, the thousands of them all coming at once, right? You know, and I've I'm I'm prime example, right? I've got tears, joy, rage, grief all flooding through all at the same time, and it's just overwhelming. And, you know, I've I've been holding resentment and anger for so long, and when they finally came, I couldn't stop them. And the worst thing is, like my boys were teenagers and I was going through so many hormonal changes. Can you imagine how insane it was? A complete madhouse. They said, Oh my god, mom, I'm sure you've been taken over by an alien because you were such a nice person and loving mom, and now you're angry and crying, and you don't even know what you're doing most of the time, right?

Soraya 33:58

So it's scary though, it is scary when you we're experiencing all of that and not knowing what's happening.

Why menopause can feel like an identity crisis

Bhupi 34:05

Yeah, I know it is. And I think most of us experience it as something going wrong, right? But when our body does that to us and we start crying and screaming and everything all at the same time, that's your body telling you, hey, you've got to get some help. You need some support here. You know, stop trying to do everything yourself, right? Like I've done it all, right? I've read the books, I've listened to the podcasts, I've done everything. And I'm like, okay, this is what I need to do. Okay, she said I have to do this, and next I have to do that. I've done it all, and nothing works until you start taking a breath and slow down and realize that your body has changed in so many ways that the way, and this is the big one, the way you used to handle stress is not normal and it's not going to work anymore, right? And your nervous system has reached its maximum capacity and then it just explodes.

Soraya 35:04

Yeah. So, how can your work support women who are navigating paramenopause and menopause and identity shifts or relationship changes?

Bhupi 35:11

You know, um, mostly at the level where other approaches don't reach, right? So you get HRT and whatever, and then one day you forget to put that little dab of cream or whatever, the pill that you've forgotten, and then you start feeling all out of reach. But you can understand your hormones really intellectually. You know what the right things to do and all that stuff, but you still feel stuck, right? You can be taking the HRT, you can be regulating your nervous system, but because the blocks are still in your body and in your thinking, we don't even know that the blocks are there. Like I didn't even know there was a thing called a block in your body, right? Um, in your energy system. And it's in patterns, it it's it's been deciphered that it's you know, it's happened in the patterns that were laid down or from when you were a kid, and you've just been running on that show without permission, and then there's nothing you can do about it. So when we start clearing those blocks at that level, things start shifting that you didn't expect to shift, right? Old reactions that haven't moved in years suddenly kind of get loose. Um, your exhaustion eases, your relationships that you felt so stuck in start to move forward. I'll give you an example. I had one client who hadn't slept in 15 years since menopause started. And then we we moved some energy blocks from her. Um, and then she sent me a message about a week or two later, Poopy, I started sleeping through the night. But what we did was that we cleared the energy blocks from her body, but also from her house. She was divorced, but all the energy from the fighting and everything else from when they were living in the house was still within the house. Right? Your house and your beds and your mattresses. I know it sounds bizarre, but they all hold you.

Soraya 37:02

Absolutely. Yeah, I absolutely believe that.

Bhupi 37:05

Yeah, so you know, and this is the one thing. So when I start doing work like this, you know, it makes me even more like, you know, everything is connected. So when you start clearing one area of your life, it's like a ripple effect, yeah, right. And then it touches relationships, you know, with your work colleagues or even your work, your friends, your family, and also your relationship with money. Most of us don't realize how deeply everything is connected until we really dig deep and start thinking and thinking about it and go, oh my God, this is way deeper than you thought.

Soraya 37:42

Yeah, no, it's it's true that what you're saying, it's it's all connected. And as one of my friends actually, she was going through a separation, and I actually believe that all stuff linked to the past should be taken out. It's the energy, right? It's all the connection. And and I heard someone said about mirrors also, mirrors apparently very bad, like to have from pre-owned. Is that right?

Bhupi 38:03

That's what I've heard, but again, uh, like you know, you buy anything secondhand, even if you buy brand new, it's got energy.

Speaker 2 38:11

Right?

Bhupi 38:12

So let's say, let's say you're buying a new armchair, okay. That armchair, the fabric came from somewhere else, the bits and bolts and stuff came from somewhere else, and they've all got to be made, like physically made. So, you know, if someone's having a really, really bad week and they're like really down in the dumps, when they're making that tool or you know, sewing that leather or sewing that fabric, all their feelings are in that fabric. And you know, so let's say an armchair it takes like 150 people, right, to build all the little parts, right, before they even get to the factory. So then the people in the factory, there's probably 20 people in the factory who build the top part, the bottom part, and all the different parts of the armchair. And then you've got your drivers that bring it to your house. So it may be brand new, but it's still got energy in it, right? Because it's all those people that have touched it, and it's the touch where you, you know, where your fingers are have like billions and billions of little, you know, nerve endings, and whatever you're feeling is through your, you know, and when you express anything, it's your hands, you're touching things, you you know, that's where the energy gets stuck. So when you buy antiques or you buy mirrors or you buy anything that's been, you know, that secondhand, it's got history, and all of that history, some of it may be amazing, some of it may be absolutely awful, you know. Um, like buying stuff from you know somebody who's passed away. They may have had such happy, glorious years, but towards the end they got sick. So all of those energies are going to stay in that furniture because he's sat on it, he's used it, or she's used it. And that's what that's what makes this work really interesting because you just don't know where the blocks are. And um when I cleared the blocks in this lady's house, um they were from her marriage, they were from previous owners, and even people that visited her house. So, you know, she had all this bad mojo from her ex-in-laws, so all of that stuff just, you know, it's like um it just stuck in that house until you start to clear it. And you know, if you don't have any person who can help you with the energy clearing, the best way to do it is just open all your windows and doors and you know, just letting the fresh air through just make it.

Soraya 40:50

I'm a big fan of opening windows. I think it's great to get all the bad energy out as well. Right.

Bhupi 40:55

Yeah, and you know, and some people are like, oh, it's cold. And I said, no, you need to let you need to let the energy flow through because the wind will just take some of that, you know, energy with it. Um, you know, it may not clear all of it, but it will help.

Soraya 41:10

Yeah, absolutely. Um, just going back to people because I know that you mentioned earlier in the conversation that you weren't able to take HRT. I mean, I don't take HRT either, but I mean, what did you use?

Bhupi 41:22

Was it just energy work that you helped that helped you through the I had to find natural ways to deal with it. Um, so um some people take, I think it's called black kohosh or something like that, it's called.

Soraya 41:37

I've heard of that, yeah.

Bhupi 41:38

Yeah, but what worked for me was organic sage. Um, so I took organic sage pills to calm calm my calm the um the hot flashes and all of that. But at the same time, I was doing Reiki and I was doing energy work because all the feelings that I had, you know, the rage, the all of that, it was all from you know, uh resentment I'd been holding and anger I'd been just, you know, like you just push it down and you go, I'll do it later. And it was all of that coming up for me over and over and over again. And the only way I could find release was to actually release the blocks, the energy blocks. And one of the blocks that I released was hereditary, and it was on my dad's side of the family and all male going back 947 generations.

Soraya 42:31

Wow, okay, right?

Bhupi 42:32

So everything is, you know, like people go, nah, no way, but I'm like everything is connected. So another example of that would be, let's say, um, you know, uh, before you were conceived or while you were conceived, you know, the minute the egg touches the um, you know, the sperm touches the egg or whatever, and your parents had had like a major fight through, you know, and they're just um this is like makeup sex, let's put it that way, right? So the minute you were conceived, all those feelings of anger and everything else are still there. So, you know, you inherit those. Right? You can inherit those. And you know, if it's at the time that you were conceived, like at that very second, guess what? They're gonna be with you from the minute you're born.

Soraya 43:27

Yeah, no, I absolutely I do believe in that.

Bhupi 43:29

Yeah, yeah. So, you know, and nothing, nothing shocks me anymore, you know. Like I'll still go, oh my god, wow, but nothing shocks me anymore when I do this work because I find so many strange things. Um, you know, and I'm just like, okay, you know what? That's that can happen. That's yeah, that's real, that's real. But yeah, one of the things I find that women don't do is Prioritize their self-care.

Soraya 44:02

No, absolutely.

Speaker 3 44:04

Yeah. Right. And when you start prioritizing yourself, it's really not a luxury, right? So when we talk about self-care, it's not about going to the spa and having a luxury spa day, right?

Soraya 44:17

It's not that's nice.

Bhupi 44:19

Yes, exactly. It's very nice. Yeah, you know, who doesn't love a bit of luxury? But it's about taking that moment for yourself and sitting down, you know, your first cup of tea. Like I like to wake up before I know that my cat needs food or you know, my dog needs to be taken for a walk. So I'll go and I'll make myself a cup of tea, and I know I can have that tea in peace and quiet. Right? With no disturbance. I can listen to the birds outside, I can do that. And for me, that is my moment of self-care.

Soraya 44:52

Yeah, making time for yourself. I think that's yeah, a very important point. Yeah.

Speaker 3 44:56

Yeah. And you know, and and I keep saying this to people over and over again: self-care is not a luxury, it's actually a necessity. If you don't care of take care of yourself, who's gonna take care of you afterwards? Right? It's only you.

Soraya 45:10

Yeah, and I think sorry to interrupt, Robert, but it just reminds me of this analogy I have, like of a luxury car, a beautiful, sparkling car, like beautifully, you know, it's got nice interior and everything. If you don't regularly maintain that car, give it oil and water, it's just gonna break down. That's what we're like, I think. We just forget that we need to be taken care of as well, otherwise we we're running on empty.

Bhupi 45:32

Yeah, all the time, all the time. I would say 90% of the women that I meet are running on empty because they've gone to the point where they just can't breathe, and their bodies are just like you know, like they feel, you know, like curled up in a ball, their shoulders are down, and they've just got and look at them.

Soraya 45:52

Nothing else to give, yeah.

Bhupi 45:53

Yeah, yeah. And I've always said this to everybody, even you know, my kids. If you don't love yourself and you can't find a way to love yourself, how on earth are you gonna expect that others will love you? And this is so simple, but it's so deep because if and I find a lot of women go, you know, once I'm married, I'll be happy with my partner, he'll make me happy. But no, it should always be you that's trying to make you happy, not somebody else, because later on in life you're gonna go, oh my god, why did I let this happen? And it doesn't sink in until we're older, right? Yeah, I find that I find that's one of the biggest things that um women women let go of. I'll be happy because my partner's gonna make me happy. No, they're not.

Soraya 46:45

Yeah, allowing someone else to dictate how happy you are, that's the biggest mistake, right? Because they need to dictate when you're unhappy as well.

Bhupi 46:54

Yeah, so that's when you know, like when you when you start getting into menopause, that's when your relationship with yourself changes because you realize you've given so much, and there's like nothing left in you to give anymore, right? And then that's when you wish you'd taken time out for yourself. So that's why when my kids were growing up, and I said, you need to start taking care of yourself, right? Because nobody else is gonna do it for you. And they go, but mom, you here for us. And I'm like, No, I'm not really. You're gonna go away to university or college or whatever. Who's gonna take care of you then? Um it's not gonna be me.

Soraya 47:35

Yeah, I know. I think we try to do too much, and also I think it's important that our kids also have some independence as well. It's um, yeah. So, what would you say to a woman who feels it may be too late to change directions?

Bhupi 47:50

I've got a perfect answer. I'd say to her, when did she decide that breathing and being alive meant it was too late, right? Like, yeah, you're still breathing, you've still got life in you. Why do you think you can't work, right? Um, so like just to give you an example, right? Like, I'm in my late 50s, I moved countries last year, I'm rebuilding my life from scratch, right? Like I've left my big communities and everything. But within that time, I found my work, I found my purpose, and honestly, I found it through all the crap that I've gone through over the last five, 10 years. And just and you know, it's not despite everything that's happened, it's because of it. Because I wouldn't be on this journey if I hadn't, you know, hit rock bottom and had a breakdown in my bedroom crying and screaming like a child. But you know, it's because of all of this that I've gone through that I I you know that I can I can help women now, right? Um, despite, you know, I I mean, you know, I'm not saying my whole life was bad. It wasn't, it was amazing. I've had an incredible life, but I find the women who I work with in their 50s, 60s, and 70s are some of the most alive, most honest, most clear-eyed people I've ever met in my life because they've stopped performing, right? And they've started being real. And it's never too late. Yeah, and it's never ever too late to work on yourself. Because honestly, you've you know, with with medical breakthroughs and stuff, we're living longer and longer. And you know, people aren't dying in their 60s anymore, you know, we're living up to like 80s and 90s now, so you've got to put that focus on yourself, you've got to take care of yourself because if you don't, you know, life is too short, you know. And I find that, you know, when I have my clients in their 30s and 20s and whatever, and I say to them, you know, life is really short. Oh no, I'm gonna live till I'm 90. I've still got 50 years to go. And I said, but if you don't start working on yourself now, by the time you get there, you're gonna be exhausted.

Soraya 50:08

Yeah, and it's not really living. I think you know, it's one thing like living till you're 90, but if you're not being your true self, you know, being who you are, that's not really living though, is it?

Bhupi 50:17

No, it's not, it's not. You're just doing your daily chores and going, okay, that's another day done. And then you're like, okay, it's a countdown, isn't it?

Soraya 50:26

It's a countdown till death, basically.

Bhupi 50:29

I know, I know. Like, what are you counting down till you know, whatever? And then, you know, one of the biggest things um that I learned um, you know, through COVID, and I know this was five years ago, but it's you know, mentally it's still affecting a lot of people and physically. And one of the things that I've learned through COVID is that life is really too short to be wasted. I saw so many people pass away, like so many young people pass away, and I'm like, oh my God. And it really taught me that you shouldn't waste your life, you know, and you shouldn't treat yourself like anything, you know, you should treat yourself like you're the king and queen, you know, like you're the energy, like you, you know, wear a crown and say, I'm the queen of my energy, right? And that's the only way to to think forward because it doesn't matter what circumstances brought you to where you are now, but stop wasting your life.

Soraya 51:27

Yeah, because again, I think another important thing is we don't know how long we have. My mom passed away very suddenly at the age of 58. We had no idea she was gone. It was very young, you know. I'm you know, I'm now 49, and thinking that she didn't live that much longer, but it's again it was unexpected. So we don't know how many years we have. Life is very precious, and it's about how you're enjoying your life, being who you are, living your truth, not living someone else's, you know, version that they want you to be. So I think that's what's so powerful about this point in our life as well.

Bhupi 52:02

Yes, 100%. 100%. And and this is what it all boils down to is that you are important, right? You are really important. And I find I found women where you know they've been suppressed, they've you know been in a really toxic, narcissistic relationship, and they feel that they have no worth, um, because that's what they've been taught for all these years, and it's just again, it's like peeling an onion, right? You take all the nasty away slowly and slowly until you come back and you go, Oh my god, there is so much to live for. Yeah, absolutely.

Soraya 52:47

Yeah. Um, and I'm so excited that you're gonna be joining us in June at the retreat, Boupee. I'm so excited too. Can you share a bit about what you'll be offering at the June retreat, what you'll be doing with the energy?

Bhupi 53:02

Um, again, it's gonna be working with the whole group on their nervous system regulation and energy clearing, and it's gonna be live in a room, and it's a really different experience from working with somebody on a one-to-one on a group on a screen, because when you're in person, you feel the energy in everyone. So when one person feels a shift, everybody else does too, right? So the whole field changes. Women who came in, embraced and defended, you know, and you know, this is not gonna work. I don't and you know, I don't know what this is about, blah, you know, and they've got that negativity and they've already got their defenses up, you know, they start to soften a little from just being in that environment of sharing everybody's energy.

Soraya 53:50

Yeah, that sounds really powerful. I've got that tingles when you're describing that.

Bhupi 53:54

Yeah, yeah, you can't get down to like the nativity when you're um in a group, but um, you know, you can change the whole energy, the way that everybody's shifting. And oh my god, it's such an amazing experience. And my fingers tingle for like hours and hours after it.

Soraya 54:14

Can imagine. And so, what intentions do you do you hope most um women will carry with them after your session?

What to expect from Bhupi’s retreat session

Bhupi 54:21

Um, to be honest, I I really want them to feel something. Um, and we went through this a you know uh a couple of minutes ago. So some some women will feel an immediate shift in their body, like a release of tension that they didn't even know they had. Um, some get emotional, some start crying because you know, um something has triggered in them and they just feel lighter. Um, and then I get others who send me messages the next day to say that their sleep was different, or something that's been bothering them for years is just not um, how can I put it, landed in the same way. And then others might feel it in a week or longer. I can't predict what's going to happen for each person, but something always shifts. That I know, right? That I can guarantee that there'll always be a shift and you'll feel it in the energy of the room.

Soraya 55:19

Okay, I'm looking forward to your session, Pippi. Um and do you have a kind of a tip that you can give our listeners today on that they can use um by themselves to kind of like shift their energy?

Bhupi 55:32

Oh my gosh, yes. So um the first thing that I would do is I would, you know, this is the the best way to regulate your nervous system is to um stand up, close your eyes, and you can do this in the house, you can do it outside, uh, wherever you feel comfortable. But I want to try and do this now, Buki.

Soraya 55:53

I'll be doing this now. Can I sit down while I'm doing it? I'm gonna, I always like to try out.

Bhupi 55:57

Of course you can, yeah. Just make sure that your feet are flat on the floor and you're not wearing shoes or socks, right? Because you want to feel you want to without mind yourself.

Soraya 56:08

Did you say Bupino socks on? Yeah, okay. Let me take my let me take my socks off one sec. It's just a bit cold in the house.

Bhupi 56:16

Yeah.

Soraya 56:17

Okay, done.

Bhupi 56:21

Okay, okay, and then I want you to close your eyes, and then I want you to focus on yourself, and I want you to take a really deep breath. And I'm gonna count you in and count you out. I want you to take a really deep breath in all the way through your nose, feel it going all the way down your rib cage into your abdomen and hold that breath for four counts. So I'm gonna count you down four, three, two, and one. And now I want you to release it really slowly to the count of six, five, four, three, two, and one. And now I want you to put your hands on your heart and I want you to repeat that.

Soraya 57:06

Okay.

Breath practice to calm the nervous system

Bhupi 57:06

So we're gonna do it again. So take a deep breath in all the way through your nose, all the way down your throat, and you can feel it going through your chest, down your abdomen, all the way down to your belly, and hold it there for three, two, one, and now release for six, five, four, three, two, and one. And if you just keep doing that three or four times, your nervous system starts to calm and you start feeling grounded and you feel calm. And once your nervous system starts calming down, you start calming down and you can think a little bit more clearly. How do you feel now?

Soraya 57:51

Relax.

Bhupi 57:53

Yeah, yeah. So if you do that three or four times, it really calms your nervous system down. It really does, and it's the only way to do it because you've got to make space for that breath, and you've got to make space just to stay focused and ground your feet.

Soraya 58:10

Yeah, love that. Thank you, Bhupie No worries. And the last few questions I have, I always like to ask my guests. Um, what's lighting you up most in your work at the moment?

Bhupi 58:20

Oh my gosh, I've got to share this because um what I'm doing right now is um I've got a two-week midlife show that I'm uh not a show, a course that I'm starting. Um, and I've called it the midlife reset. It's a free. I know I'm on it.

Soraya 58:39

I joined it, haven't I, Bhupie?

Speaker 3 58:41

Yes, you have. It's a free two-week life experience for women to start clearing what's been stored. It's calming the nervous system and actually feeling, start feeling like yourselves again. And for me, it's like women showing up for themselves, sometimes for the first time, and then watching a shift in the first session. And that for me, that never gets old. And I I really want to help women, and you know, I've done I've got so many case studies where I know what I do is works, and I just want to share it with as many people as I possibly can in like an environment that is safe. Yeah, remind me when it's starting, Bourse. Um, it's starting on the 18th of April, which is actually three weeks today. Yay! 18th of April, okay. Yep, and um, it's gonna be for about an hour, hour and a half for five days um each week, and we cover so much. So um, you know, from your nervous system to your body, um, to your relationships with people and everything, and and money. Because if you have a really awful relationship with money, right, it it affects the rest of your life, it affects every factor of your life. Because without money, we can't exist in this world.

Soraya 1:00:11

Yeah, that's very true, right?

Bhupi 1:00:13

So we can work on our bodies, we can do everything that we possibly can, but if our focus is on the lack, guess what? It's not gonna happen, and you're still gonna be stressed about it. And sometimes these patterns aren't from you, it could be from an event that happened when you were a child, right? So I find um those shifts happen slowly, but when they do, it's like I see people's eyes, they're like, you know, start, oh my god, it's like the light bulb moment. And when I see those light bulb moments, oh my god, it just makes me so happy that I've made a difference in somebody's life that you know they can now take their energy and move forward.

Soraya 1:00:57

Yeah, love it. Okay, so I put the details of that course in the show notes so anyone who's interested can join that. Perfect, thank you. You're welcome. And what's your body or intuition been teaching you lately?

Bhupi 1:01:11

Oh my gosh. Um, you know what? And this is something again, a lot of women do you that rest is productive, right? Slowing down is not falling behind your schedule or you know, whatever you've got on your to-do list. Your to-do list gets bigger and bigger every day, but you've got to make time for rest. If your mind and your body aren't rested, you're not gonna get very far, right? Because you're gonna start running on fumes. And my dog and my cat are prime examples, right? And I and I use them all the time, and people just go, oh my god, she's crazy. She's comparing us to animals, and I'm not. Um, they always know when something needs attention, right? And it sounds crazy, but I'm working on being more like them because during my really, really tough times over the last three years, and I've sat down and I've gone, oh my god, how did I get here? And I wouldn't have survived without them because they know that I'm feeling something, and they'll come, they'll sit right next to me, or they'll sit in my lap, and then just having them there, right? It it's like my nervous system support. So it's like learning to live and know that you know, you your body needs rest, your mind needs rest because you've been working yourself to the bone for so long that you you can't function like a normal person anymore, you know, if there is a normal anymore. But because we've got so many things at our hands, like social media and our phones, you know, the smartphones and all of these things, I find yes, they're a great asset. But when I look at how it was before we got all of this, I felt my life was more restful and more appreciative. And now we're so busy looking at our phones that we we don't appreciate the really, really good things of life.

Soraya 1:03:19

Yeah, it's very true. Yeah, it's very hard to stay present when we're constantly switched on.

Bhupi 1:03:24

Exactly, and we can't switch off because our phones are constantly binging, binging, binging, right? Oh god, there's a notification. And you know, I remember the days when you know your work stayed at work and didn't come home with you, right? Yeah, we didn't have to worry about it, but now your boss can ping you at home, you know, at nine o'clock at night, and you're like, seriously, I don't need this shit right now. And then you're taking all the stress of work just before bedtime. And I speak because a lot of us live this life.

Soraya 1:03:54

But first before before bedtime, but also first thing in the morning. A lot of you know, my clients they always just check their phone as soon as they wake up for notifications, your emails, you know, social media. Yeah, it's the last thing you should be touching, is your phone and that's on your way out before bed, then when you wake up, then there's the worst times to be on the phone, really.

Bhupi 1:04:14

No, exactly, yeah. And it's not good for our sleep patterns either, because when you're focusing on that blue light of the phone, you know, it doesn't matter how many things you put in front of it, that affects your um deep sleep rhythm, right? They're scientifically proving all these things. Like, what was it last week? There was a study that was done that you know, kids under the age of five shouldn't be given cell phones. But I look at um, you know, as I'm walking the dog, I see women like young women in their 20s, and they they've got a cell phone that they've given to their to their toddler, right? And you don't know how many hours they're going to use that form. It it affects their brain, it affects the way they they can logically think, it affects their creativeness, it affects their growth. So and it's all coming out now, and then people are going, oh my god, that explains so much. And I'm like, Yeah, these things are not meant to be our best friend. We didn't have these, you know, like thousands of years ago. That's why we survived, but now we've got so much stuff that's just throwing at, you know, being thrown at us, we don't have time to calm down and just chill, yeah, and relax.

Soraya 1:05:27

Yeah. Um, and what does living as your limitless self mean to you right now, B? You know what?

Bhupi 1:05:33

Living choosing myself without guilt because I've lived my whole life feeling guilty. Oh, if I if I buy something for myself, then oh, I can't buy this for this kid or I can't do that. You know, we've always put everybody else first. Yeah, and for the first time in my life, I feel that I'm not being selfish by taking care of my own needs. Yeah. Um and when I'm, you know, like if I want that coffee, you know what, I'm gonna go and buy it. I don't feel guilty that um, you know, I don't deserve it. I do deserve that because I've worked so hard all my life and now I'm looking at it and I've and I've gone without. Now I'm not gonna go without. Right? And I need to stop apologizing for literally being um for literally being being here for existing.

Soraya 1:06:32

Yeah, so true.

Bhupi 1:06:34

You know, and one of the other things I've learned through slowing down and putting myself first and not feeling selfish about it is I've created boundaries. And women, we don't do that, right? Um, we don't keep boundaries. And when we don't have boundaries, we let all the toxic tox sorry toxic people tell us what we need to do. And those people are toxic because they've got their own battles to deal with, but instead of dealing with them, they put the onus on you and make you feel really bad. So you know, I'm I'm done. I said that's it, I'm done. I don't want any of these people in my life anymore. So slowly, slowly, I've just stopped talking to them and just getting in contact with them. And honestly, the you know, as you mentioned, the people pleasing, it's all gone. I just don't do that anymore because it made me feel that I wasn't enough and I wasn't capable, and it made me feel really, really bad and ugly. And I just went, okay, I'm done with this.

Soraya 1:07:38

So now I think yeah, you choose who you're around. I think that's quite powerful as well, choosing your company.

Bhupi 1:07:44

And we don't, as women, we're just like, oh yeah, yeah, sure, yeah, I'll do it. You know, uh yeah, I'll come out with you, and you know, there's three people that you don't get on with and you don't like them and you don't like their energy, then just don't go. Like, simple, honestly, just don't go. And I've I've done that so many times now, and I feel it's really changed, like you know, the way my brain is wired. I know it sounds crazy, but it's really changed the way my brain is wired because I can't handle those toxic people anymore. And you know, they make me feel bad when I'm with them. And why would I want to do that? Why would you want to do that to yourself?

Soraya 1:08:22

Exactly. Well, that's exactly it, right? Yeah, no, thank you. Yeah.

Bhupi 1:08:27

You know, so now I say to everybody, you know, be selfish and start putting yourself first because this is when you need to do it.

Soraya 1:08:36

Exactly. Yes. Thank you, Bippi. It's thank you so much for joining this conversation. But before I let you go, just let um the listeners know how else they can reach you. So you mentioned you had that workshop that's happening on the 18th of April. Um what how else can they reach you?

Bhupi 1:08:50

What's the best way to through my uh social media? Um, so either Facebook or you can join my Facebook group um or Instagram. Honest, you know, it's the it's really easy to find me. So if you just um search for Bupee Panasar and I'll I'll send you all the details and then it's really easy to find.

Soraya 1:09:12

Okay. Thank you so much, Bupi, for joining. I look forward to welcoming you to the retreat in June. I'll see you then.

Bhupi 1:09:18

Yeah, and I'm so so excited to be there. I really am. Yeah, and thank you for having me on this podcast because it really means a lot. Because honestly, I just want to help people. That's all I wanted to.

Soraya 1:09:32

No, it's great, it's great because you've been through it, so you can help others. So thank you again, Bippi, and I'll speak to you soon. Bye. Thank you. Bye.