Finding Clarity in the Unknown - 12

 In this episode, we explore the paradox of clarity—how our deep desire to “figure it all out” can actually keep us stuck. Drawing from energy work, coaching insights, and research on uncertainty and the brain, we look at why leaning into the unknown is often the key to discovering our next step. 

We’ll learn: 

• Why the urge to force clarity often blocks it
• What neuroscience and psychology reveal about uncertainty and decision-making
• Practices for releasing the pressure to decide and creating space for clarity to emerge
• How gratitude, faith, and trust can shift us from stuckness to flow

This conversation is an invitation for us to breathe, pause, and open to clarity in its own timing.
 

Welcome to Lady(ish)—the podcast where real talk meets whole-self transformation. Hosted by coach, healer, and wellness guide Autumn Noble O’Hanlon, this unfiltered space is for women who want more out of life—but on their own terms.

Each week, we dive into the messy, beautiful, and often contradictory layers of wellness, covering everything from career shifts and body image to energy healing, intuitive living, fitness, burnout recovery, and creating change that actually sticks.

Whether you're chasing a new chapter, healing old wounds, or just trying to reconnect with yourself in a loud, overwhelming world—Lady(ish) is here to support your evolution. Expect honest conversations, coaching wisdom, holistic tools, spiritual insights, and permission to be a little bit of everything (and nothing you're not).

Because wellness isn’t one-size-fits-all—and neither are you.

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Transcript

Autumn Noble (00:00)

Welcome back to the podcast, my friends. Today, I want to talk to you about something that I've been seeing a lot of lately, not just in my intuitive readings and energy work with my clients, but also in my own life.

And that's this deep desire that so many of us have for clarity when we're feeling uncertain about our past.

I'm a firm believer that like attracts like. And as I am navigating my own sort of crossroads and moving away from a formal practice of law to this intuitive and holistic work, I think my own intersection and sort of uncertainty in finding clarity around my own path has drawn people to me that are also struggling with clarity in their own lives. And, you know, that being said, I really believe that everyone has sort of come to me for readings

and energy work over the last couple of weeks, almost every single one of them is at some type of a crossroads and wanting clarity around the step that they should take next. And we all kind of know that feeling of being at a crossroads, unsure what's next, but we're desperate to figure it out so that we can move forward with some sort of confidence about the path ahead. In those moments, we ask ourselves, what's the right decision? Where should I put my energy?

what direction is best for me? And it almost feels like there's a secret right answer that we have to figure out before we can move forward.

It's a very uncomfortable kind of graspy energy. And so sometimes that very act of grasping for clarity and chasing clarity is exactly what keeps us from finding it. And that's what I want to talk about today. How do we find clarity when that very human part of us so desperately wants to chase it? When we know that that type of energy is very likely to keep us separated.

from that clarity. The more we chase it, the less we find it. It's these moments in our spiritual journeys where we're really called to sit in faith and access our own intuition and guidance to find what's next as opposed to answering that very human call to chase it and try and sort of figure it out by trying and doing.

I think it's one of the most challenging spiritual lessons that many of us will encounter in our lives and that is finding trust, accessing faith, and sort of letting go of the reins and trying to control when things happen for us, including when our path unfolds.

So I want to start by talking about this whole paradox of clarity. And here's what I mean when I say that. When we're so focused on needing an answer, we sort of tighten around it. We bring a lot of anxiety to the inquiry. That energy of urgency and desperation and sort of unhappiness with where we are can actually block us from receiving the clarity that we're looking for.

It all comes back to these ideas around energy and kind of similar to that law of manifestation. The law of attraction tells us that what we focus on, we amplify. So when we focus on lack of clarity and uncertainty, when we're thinking, I don't know what to do next or I don't know what's right for me, we keep ourselves in that energy of not knowing and uncertainty.

in giving a lot of energy to those discomforts and that uncertainty, we actually just attract more of it into our life if you follow the law of attraction or the law of manifestation.

If that doesn't resonate with you, we can think about simple thought work and the energy that comes with those thoughts. When I'm thinking, I don't know what to do next, or I just wish I could figure it out, the emotions that that evokes in me are kind of panicked and graspy. And from that space, I'm just like trying 10,000 things that come at me, and I'm not really sure about any of them, and I don't really feel strongly about any of them, but I'm acting really quickly and kind of panicked. Those types of actions rarely...

result in clarity. In fact, they often result in more clutter. So whether simple thought work and the actions that flow from that resonates with you or maybe you resonate more with the idea of manifestation and you're just attracting more uncertainty, either way, the net result is the same. Living in that energetic space, that head space, giving energy to those thoughts doesn't help us figure it out. In fact, it just makes the problem worse.

Because clarity doesn't usually come when we're clenching our fists around it. It comes when we soften, when we lighten, when we allow, when we access trust and faith in that higher power. For those of you that may engage in a spiritual practice, it kind of goes along the lines of that let go and let God. You ask for what you want, you ask for clarity, and then you let it go. And we stop chasing it. And instead we sit in faith and trust.

that it will unfold in divine timing.

So let's go ahead and put a little science behind this as Is there science behind this idea that pushing for clarity too hard actually backfires? And the answer is yes.

Psychologists talk about it through the lens of this thing called need for cognitive closure, which is this inner drive to get absolute clarity.

Studies have shown that individuals that have a high need for cognitive clarity, foreclosure, tend to experience more stress and more anxiety, especially when life feels ambiguous or uncertain.

This shows us that when we try and force decisions and force some type of closure, we may actually be amplifying fear and tension rather than actual clarity.

All of this invites us to lean into the unknown and sort of sit in this space of uncomfortable uncertainty.

One of the hardest but most liberating practices in a spiritual practice in my opinion is learning to be okay with not having the answers right away.

Sometimes that next right step doesn't reveal itself until we spend a little bit of time in pause and reflection.

I like to think that this uncertainty is not a punishment from God or the universe. It's more of an invitation to connect on a deeper level with yourself.

It's the space where the universe can kind of realign with our deeper intentions and with our prayer and where we in turn can get quiet enough to hear our own intuition whispering beneath all the noise and all the grasping and chaos and discomfort of uncertainty.

So instead of rushing through the unknown and trying to solution our way through it, instead my invitation is to invite you to lean into it.

So instead we allow ourselves to sit with the questions and not demand answers. And we allow the question just to be there on our hearts and on our minds and being okay with not knowing the answer just yet, but being open to the answer when we're ready to receive it from that place of peace and quiet. When we're scattered and rushed and panicked, even if the answer showed up at our doorstep, we're not likely going to hear it.

And so it's in this pause, in this space that puts us in the best position to receive that clarity when it does come.

neuroscience tells us that ambiguity activates parts of the brain that are associated with fear and risk, kind of like the amygdala. But it also shows us that certain practices like meditation or breath work

can calm down those regions, giving ourselves space and peace.

That space is where new ideas, new clarity often arise, not when we're gripping or chasing or panicking.

A few other kind of sciency things to keep in mind when you think about the discomfort with uncertainty is the fact that we have a bias against ambiguity and ambiguity aversion.

This is why people prefer risks that are known over risks that are unknown. And that means that sometimes we prefer to stay in the space that we know, in the space that we're comfortable, instead of taking a risk where there's certain unknown potential risks or outcomes associated with it, even if that risk could lead to better outcomes. Our brain wants to stay with the risks that we know.

And so our preference is to stay safe instead of risking that discomfort.

What this tells us in those moments of sort of freak out and panic about what to do next, that part of our brain is gonna drive us to stay with the comfortable solution as our answer to what should we do next.

Similarly, sometimes when we spin in that, should I do next? And we have all these options available to us, we get stuck in analysis paralysis.

When there are too many options, too much information, and too much internal pressure to decide right now and get clear and solve it right now, this often leads to totally freezing up or avoidance, overthinking, second guessing, or just not deciding anything at all. So again, it goes against what we are trying to do, and that is solve the problem, finding clarity, finding alignment.

but we overthink it, sometimes we don't act at all, and sometimes we take action and then we second guess it right away. So we kind of end up spinning and setting ourselves back, even though we feel in our brain maybe telling us that we are moving forward because we made a decision. Ultimately, that decision is just kind of a setback dressed in a pretty outfit as something grown up and adult to help us move forward and move out of this discomfort.

So not only am I advocating not taking action right away, not over analyzing, not spinning in this discomfort and need to fix it, instead I'm advocating to sit with it, breathe with it, meditate on it, and allow yourself just to be open and kind of a clean slate so that you can hear your own intuition and guidance about what action you should take next.

There is some science providing some support that there are benefits to this approach. And there's emerging work in psychology that's telling us that being able to tolerate ambiguity and uncertainty, it's a skill. Some of us are born with it, but it's also a skill that we can develop. And that when we have that skill or that trait, it often correlates with higher creativity, more adaptability, better problem solving. When someone is okay,

with not knowing and all the discomforts that come with it. They often stay open to new information, new paths and serendipity or intuitive insights.

added bonus for those of you engaging in mindfulness or meditation to sort of open yourself up in those moments of discomfort and really develop this skill of living in ambiguity. When you engage in those types of practices that slow us down.

When we allow ourselves to pause, be non-judgmental and accept the space that we're in through mindfulness or meditation. Research has shown that those practices can reduce activity in the stress or fear parts of your brain. They improve emotional regulation. They increase clarity of thought.

which is exactly what we're looking for in these instances. All the more reason to engage in some of these more mindful meditative practices. And bonus, if you're new to meditation and mindfulness, I just posted last week a new guided meditation and Meditation 101 that can help you get started and leverage some of the guided meditations that I have on here.

Those meditations and mindfulness exercises are a very useful tool to help us in moments where we're lacking clarity and we're feeling really unsure about the future. It supports us by helping us learn to not push so hard so that our mind can become more spacious, which often allows intuition and insights to emerge.

It's sort of the classic story of the tortoise and the hare. When we slow down, we are much more likely to win at this intention of getting clarity. When we rush through it, odds are pretty good that the way our brain operates and how that causes us to function, and then you add in the law of attraction and manifestation, odds are pretty good that it's gonna take us longer to get where we want to go when we go fast.

So I wanna wrap this up by sharing a couple tips that you can use when you're feeling stuck or unsure.

First and foremost, shift your energy. Instead of obsessing over the decision, focus on grounding yourself and calming yourself. Maybe engage in some meditation, some movement, some breath work, or just get outside and go for a walk. A calm, nervous system is the best environment for you to gain insights, listen to your intuition, and find the clarity that you're seeking.

Two, ask and then release or let go and let God. Whether you pray, journal or set intentions, ask for the guidance that you seek and then let it go and trust that the clarity will arrive in its own divine timing.

Practice gratitude in the now. Clarity loves gratitude. When you focus on abundance, what's working now, what's already beautiful in your life, you open yourself up to more goodness flowing in, and that may likely include some intuitive insights and more clarity.

4. Notice your body's knowing and wisdom. Often times when our minds get really loud ⁓ and they throw a lot of fear and lot of shoulds at us and really push us to take action, our bodies are sitting there quietly knowing the answer already. So pay attention to where you feel expansive versus more contraction when you imagine your options. So use your body to sort of

act as a litmus test as you consider the options ahead of you. Let the mind kind of take a break and let your body see if it already knows the answer for you.

Five, stay curious and not critical of this space. Instead of pressuring yourself with, have to figure this out, I need to figure this out, try considering and meditating on, I wonder what's possible for me here. Curiosity creates openness and criticism creates stuckness and panicked action that is often out of alignment.

So my friends, if you are in a season of uncertainty, as so many of you are that I've been encountering lately, take heart. This pause is not wasted time. You're not being punished and nothing is wrong. The fog isn't failure. It's just part of the journey and part of the path and an invitation for you to flex that muscle of trust in your higher power in the universe and an invitation to put your faith in divine timing.

Clarity isn't something that we find when we finally chase it down. It's something that meets us where we are when we create space, soften and choose faith and trust.

So take a breath, lean into faith, gratitude and abundance and know that what's right for you and meant for you will find you in its own way and its own time. If this resonated with you and you want more support, feel free to reach out for a virtual tarot reading session or a coaching session, energy healing session, we can realign your chakras, whatever feels right for you in this moment and whatever you feel might best support

to sit in faith and open it at this time. I invite you to reach out and get that session scheduled. Send an email to autumn at the uncomfortable dream.com. All that information is linked in the show notes.

As always, thank you so much for being here today and supporting me on my own journey. If this message resonated, I'd love for you to share it with someone who might need a reminder that it's okay to not have all the answers right now.

Until next time, keep trusting, keep breathing,

and keep creating space for clarity to come to you.