10 Unconventional Self-Care Practices for when life gets messy

In this episode, I share ten unconventional self-care habits that have truly transformed my life. From dramatic walks to phone-free mornings, we dive into personal stories and insights that go beyond the typical self-care advice. Discover how saying no, romanticizing the mundane, and embracing radical rest can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling life.

If this episode made you laugh, cry, or rethink your self-care routine, share it with someone who might need it. Remember, you're not a mess; you're a masterpiece in progress ❤️ 

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Unconventional Self-Care
• 1:38 Walking Like You're in a Movie
• 2:45 Phone-Free Mornings and Saying No
• 3:30 Romanticizing Boring Tasks
• 4:40 Crying and Safe Conversations
• 6:54 Creating Sacred Spaces and Weird Hobbies
• 9:31 Radical Rest and Spicy Gratitude

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hi friend, welcome back to the self-help podcast, the show where we talk about growth, healing and just attempts of trying to be a functioning human being without losing our minds. I'm your host, deepali. I'm a certified overthinker. I think I'm a full-time peace seeker and someone who's extremely focused on our healing. So today I'm going to give you something raw, also personal and honestly a little weird the 10 self-care habits that I think actually saved my sanity. And these are not cute pet interest quotes, not like drink more water and manifest it. While that stuff works, great, don't get me wrong. But today I'm going to talk about other real stuff that helped me get through some real mess in my life. And if you're feeling burnout, emotionally crusty or just tired of your own BS, stay with me.

Speaker 1: 0:43

Starting with walking like someone's watching me. Here's the first one right, walking, not jogging, not bar walking in Lululemon with a protein shake or your iced latte. I mean dramatic walking. So I started doing this weird thing. I'd walk around my neighborhood like I was in a movie montage, Headphones in, music blasting. Sometimes I'd play a sad song and pretend I was in a breakup scene, or other times it was Beyonce and I'd feel like I was the main character who's just feeling too many feelings. And the entirety of this activity wasn't just movement, it was therapy. I've cried during those walks, I have laughed, I have talked to myself Like full-on conversations and, the best part, people think I'm a call. It's a win-win. Now, if you find me walking on the streets of downtown Victoria, don't think I'm mad. You know I don't do that all the times, but sometimes. So if you also feel stuck in your head like, just take yourself out on a walk, have your favorite drink or a coffee and just pretend you're in a music video, it works great, try it out.

Speaker 1: 1:38

Next one is phone-free mornings. Now listen, the first thing I used to do when I woke up was grab my phone and check WhatsApp and phone log and email and somehow also end up googling. What was that tsunami watcher advisory in Victoria about? And that my friend spiraled into anxiety just by 7am. Now I don't touch my phone for 30 minutes and I mean I try. It's not that I'm keeping a count, but like for the first 30 minutes or one hour of the day I don't look at my phone and I know that sounds dramatic, but it really helps me set the tone of my day. Instead, what I do? I journal or stare out of the window, just soak the sunlight, talk to my son a glass of water, chug almost a liter to two liters of water down and make some happy memories. Now, if, if he's asleep although that happens very, very rarely he's the one who wakes me up every single day, including the weekends. On rare days, if I'm up before him, I sit in silence, which is therapeutic for me. It feels like a great space to breathe in, just first thing in the morning. Try it and the world will survive, can survive without you for 60 minutes, I promise.

Speaker 1: 2:44

Here's the third habit. I stopped over explaining myself and started saying no with zero explanation. I used to say yes to everything and then almost immediately I would feel resentful, tired and just low-key, furious. Why? Because I didn't want to seem rude or just live in the guilt, the aftermath of guilt, that drowns me in. But now I say no, I can, I can't, full stop. No long lines or long justifications, zero, not, I'm so sorry, I just have so much going on and I feel terrible for letting you down. No, just no, I can't try it. It's sexy, it's freeing and it's deeply spiritual. And once you do that, I'm sure there'll be no going back. Protecting your energy is self-care and it's a necessity. It's a part of your survival and not everybody deserves a footnote explaining your boundaries right.

Speaker 1: 3:30

Fourth on the list is romanticizing the boring stuff. I started romanticizing the painfully boring parts of my life Laundry. I hate it. I play with my son and I hire him as my little helper. Sure, he makes a mess, a great deal of mess, but that is way, way better than hating doing your laundry laundry working. Why am I even doing this? Can I? Can I get someone? Can I hire someone to do this? I still wish that was an option, though, for me.

Speaker 1: 3:54

Grocery shopping maybe dress cute, take a Fred or, you know, take your pick-me-up drink while you shop through those aisles. Now, with me, the thing is, I'm selective about places, so I either do an online quick grocery run or just, you know, go to my favorite store and can spend hours and hours in the store. So do what feels best to you. Now, does all of this sound unhinged? Maybe, but it made me enjoy things I used to dread. So you can try for the things that you don't like doing, say, doing the dishes, maybe watch or binge watch your Netflix shows and all their episodes right While you're doing the dishes or while you're folding your clothes or while you're tidying your house. It's a great escape.

Speaker 1: 4:30

The next one is important one which is crying and I relate to it a lot, which I feel like an important way to express yourself, right, crying when you're feeling like it. Yeah, I said it, crying on purpose. Sometimes I would be like, no, I don't need to cry. Why is this thing making me cry? But then I realized and I have not been a person who would suppress her emotions or wouldn't say what she feels like ever since I was a child, I remember my mom telling me that you are a rebel and that's okay to a certain degree, but you know, you just can't be this rebellious all the time and I have never been that person who could repress or, you know, hold the emotions inside. I have to say it, good or bad, I need to express because I learned and maybe this is how I was since my childhood, like ever since I was a kid. I don't think this is something that I learned from the outside, but more so as something that I tapped in from within, because I know repressing emotions doesn't work man like. I tried it, of course, tried it several times in my life, tried it when situations weren't right. I got acne, anxiety and full-blown panic attacks and oh boy boy, I became so bitter, resentful and just bad and I never want to be there right Like. I act worse, way, way worse than I would in a situation if I'm just suppressing my feelings and emotions. Now I treat crying like a detox. I feel lighter after, clearer and less emotionally constipated and I'd say that give yourself the space to fall apart a little bit. That's okay. That's real self-care.

Speaker 1: 6:04

Moving to my next point, which is talking to one safe person, just one. It doesn't have to be a bunch of people, and I used to think I had to journal everything or figure it out by myself. I still believe that to a very large degree or an extent. But what helped most? Talking to one safe person, not a whole group chat, just one person who listens to you, without fixing or judging. For me it was my aunt, who was always there and who always started with okay, tell me what's going on. No filters, right? So if you don't have that person yet, it's okay, you can find one. Or even if you don't, maybe you will at least try, or maybe you can be that person for someone else. So safe conversations are healing af right, and when you're done sharing, there's so much clarity, so much confidence and that comforting, that very cozy, comforting feeling of validation. It is a liberating thing to feel.

Speaker 1: 6:52

Seventh one is making your space sacred. Now, earlier, I think about two, three years ago, my house used to be a chaos zone, like complete mess, old muds, zero vibe, things just lying around. Then I made it sacred. I realized that it's a sign of my cluttered mind. I added a lot of mood lighting Plants. I mean, they died soon, but that's a different point. At least I tried Now. I played ambient music and sprayed lavender on my pillow like some kind of a wellness group. Trust me, all that shit works. I discarded clothes that I haven't worn in a while, All those cups and mugs that I never used in years, all the broken furniture and no Amazon boxes that can come in handy 10 years later when we move. No, we don't want that, we can buy them when we need them later. Every single corner was cleaned, items were purged and just there was a complete detox of the house. And because of all of that, I made intentional efforts and now walking into my home feels like entering a sanctuary, a place that I love to be, instead of it being a stress pit. If you're and the thing is, if your environment feels chaotic, brain probably does too. So clear it out the candle or just pretend that your space is a spa with some lightings and you know whatever your taste is really. And it helps more than you think because the more clean, clear space, open windows, bright sunlight, fresh air that you see and feel all of this will help you process your emotions and your thoughts and your feelings.

Speaker 1: 8:17

Eighth on this list is saying yes to weird habits. I took up weird hobbies like collaging, making mood boards on actual paper with scissors and glue, and getting the sketch pens and the sharpeners and all of that from the dollar store. Like it's 2005, 2005, but hey, guess we are in 2025. It's 2025, right, but in doing that, in doing all of that, I felt alive. I went to the dance classes and those light my spirit up like I could be in the terrible mood, but after a good dance fitness session I'm like all happy and visioning enormous, amazing, awesome things for myself and my life. So so doing things just for fun and not for money or productivity, reminded me of who I am outside of work, and this entire chaos and self-care is creativity without pressure. So go paint something ugly if you like. Doing that, dance like a weirdo and don't be afraid if people are judging you. Remember, people only judge you when they're doing less than you. People are doing bigger, better, greater things than you. Will never judge you. In fact, we'll be happy that you're doing something and you have the courage to be your real self. Maybe try knitting a scarf, even with holes in it. That's fine, it's the best thing. Go do that, oh my God.

Speaker 1: 9:28

The next one on this list is radical rest, and this was hard. It's a very, very long time, in fact a majority of my life I used to think resting without turning it not a good idea. But now I'm like no, it's not important for me to finish everything and then I rest. So I'll rest after I finish everything. No, just resting because I exist and that's a reason enough and I'm worthy and very deserving of the rest and peace that comes with it. And that meant naps, saying no to things, watching TV shows or trash TV or videos without guilt and shout out to every reality show or a video that helped me disassociate in a healing way. That's great, and your worth is not based on how productive you are. Rest is your birthright period and stop wearing your productivity rituals as your badge of honor. They're doing more harm than good to you, so rest up.

Speaker 1: 10:16

Last one on the list is gratitude. But make it spicy, so make it an interesting thing. It shouldn't be the boring kind. Just don't write I'm grateful for my family, friends, good food, great health. But I get really specific, like that guy at the coffee shop who gave me an extra espresso, or my son's kiss in the middle of nowhere, or how good my playlist was today while I was walking downtown. Or say that, reliving the past memory with my father on the phone.

Speaker 1: 10:46

When you notice the weird joys of life, life feels funnier, lighter, better, right. So I think that's about it. It and self-care habits that didn't just change my life. They kept me together when I felt like a walking glitch in the simulation, and you don't need to do all of them. Start with one, make it yours, or let this podcast just be your inspiration. Whatever it is, let it be messy, weird and beautiful, and self-care doesn't need to be cute and regimented as the internet tells you, but sometimes also crying yourself in the shower or saying no to brunch is real. It's real self-care and you deserve it. So if this episode made you laugh, cry or rethink about your to-do list or how do you want to care for yourself, share it, uh, with someone you think who needs it. And hey, don't forget, you're not a mess, you're a masterpiece in progress and until next time, take care of you.