Why Perspective Over Panic is a game-changer with Dan Macqueen

Listen to our new episode that tells Dan's resilience story.

At 28, Dan MacQueen was leading a healthy, active life - until suddenly he wasn't. Dan has survived two emergency brain surgeries, weeks in a coma, and months in a rehab hospital. 

What he found out along the way might surprise you: there is nothing like a brain injury to refocus the mind.

 Driven by a positive mindset, Dan battled through excruciating rehab exercises to rebuild his life and return to a job he loved. 

How does Dan use constructive optimism to navigate through life? What are the ways he learned to approach setbacks? 

As Dan says "It's not that I don't care what you think about me, It's just that I care a little more what I think about myself". If it comes across as arrogant, it's just the way I communicate with myself to help me rebuild. Chop wood, carry water (work). 

Connect with Dan- 

LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/danielmacqueen/

Instagram | @ https://www.instagram.com/macqueendan/

Twitter | @ https://x.com/macqueendan

Podcast | https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/playlooselooktight/

Website | www.macqueendan.com

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Send Deepali Nagrani a message on PodMatch, here: 

https://podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/176231960508769160fda8526

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Dan’s Backstory
• 1:18 The Collapse On The Tube
• 2:59 Waking From Coma: New Reality
• 4:12 Incremental Gains And Rehab Mindset
• 7:00 Why Me To Try Me
• 9:05 Turning Lived Experience Into Language
• 11:35 Aim Small, Miss Small, Ratchet
• 14:05 Microhabits And Momentum
• 16:50 Tooting Broadway: Perspective Shift
• 19:20 Reframing Adversity And Gratitude
• 21:38 Stoicism: Control The Controllables
• 24:02 Perspective Over Panic
• 26:05 Better Than Yesterday For Busy Lives
• 28:35 From Healing To Professional Speaking
• 31:10 Try Me In Work And Parenting
• 33:20 Setbacks, Rock Bottom, And Chop Wood
• 36:05 Frameworks For The Cane Stage

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:02

Hi everybody, welcome back to the Self-Hair Podcast. I am Dipali, a mom, a schooler, a writer, and someone who believes that the hardest chapters often hold our greatest messages. Today, I'm honoured to be joined by Dan McQueen. He's a keynote speaker, brain injury survivor, and really a resilience builder. At the age of 28, we had a brain hemorrhage, emergency surgeries, we learned how to walk, talk, smile, and today we've helped organizations, teams, and individuals reframe adversity as opportunity. We'll dive deep into the real raw story, the mindset shifts, the microhabits, and the real lessons, life lessons for anybody who's felt the world changed overnight. In fact, the world changed in an instant. Sir buckle in, let's go. Dan, thanks so much for being here. And before we get into everything that you teach, I'm gonna zoom into that moment of rupture. You were 28, strong, active, and you know, then suddenly the world changed. Can you walk us into that day? What were your first sensations, first words, and the moment that you realized this wasn't a normal disruption for you?

SPEAKER_01: 1:18

Yeah, for sure. Well, first, thanks for having me on the podcast. It's a pleasure to be here. Uh, my story takes place takes place back in jolly old London, England in 2014. I was working in tech, company called Hootsuite, social media management platform, work post-sale. Helping clients be successful on the platform, using the tool, working late nights, minimal pay, but having a great time. There was a cake at the office. Living my best life in London. I started having these headaches that were horrible, and they got worse after a few weeks. Taking painkillers like candy with them, and I had to pounding. Headaches got so bad, I was on the tube one day, and the tube tell you zigzagg around London. Lumbering towards Nine Hill Gate tube station on the district line. Now that's the slow roll of the best at times. Headaches were so bad. Vision turned starry and I saw spots. Slowly started to fade to black. It was a race so you could ride the station first, me or the blindness. Right at Nine Hill Gate tube station, stepped on the platform, mine the gap. And the lights went out. I couldn't see a thing, I was blind. The station is swirling around me. So I want to ask you, able-sided person your whole life? What would you think? What would you feel? What would you do?

SPEAKER_00: 2:33

Yeah, that can be really life-shattering. It's hard. I hope nobody has to go through that, but it really is very hard to imagine. So, what was the hardest thing in those early days, uh, Dan? Was it the physical pain, the identity shakeup? You know, I used to be this, and now in an instant I'm this, or just the mental fear of will I be me ever again? How was that experience like?

SPEAKER_01: 2:59

Well, the hemorrhage happened, and I was in a coma for four weeks, and I woke up four weeks later being told this is your new reality. Your world is now this, and I was like, this isn't my life. It took a lot to accept this. I was a healthy and active guy before this happened, right? And then all of a sudden I'm waking up after being in a coma for four weeks. Being told, Dan, you had a coma, you had a brain hemorrhage, you can't walk, talk, or smile. This is your new reality. So it slapped hard. It was very difficult to comprehend and to come to terms with. But I slowly realized that you know this is my hand right now, and I've got to play this hand. So I kind of got to work on this. Wasn't happy with the situation, but I made my peace with it. And got to work at rehab and just starting to build myself back up. But it was a slow roll, the best of times, and it took a lot of persistent work and mindset to continue through this uh this journey.

SPEAKER_00: 3:53

So you had to relearn how to walk, talk, smile. Most people can cannot even imagine that. So, what was your mindset in that rehab hospital bed? I know you spent some time. Were you able to focus on I will walk again? Or was it just, you know, I'll survive today, one step in front of the other, one day at a time.

SPEAKER_01: 4:12

It was very much a one step at a time kind of vibe. It was very much um incremental gains, a mindset that I could get better at this if I put my work in. You know, the wheelchair took 45 minutes to get into the first week, then 40 the next week, then 35 the week after that. Incrementally ratchet myself to a point where I was happy with. But reps in reps out, continuous practice and dedication to improving my life and what's possible. It was a mindset above anything else to get better than I was. But it definitely took a lot of hard knocks and hardware hard-won lessons through failure to get myself back to where I'm at today. And that took, you know, I was in the hospital for six months. And incrementally got back up to walking and talking, and then made my way to work, back to work for two half days a week, three half days a week. Ratching myself back up, back to work I loved, job I loved. And Hootsuite was very accommodating for me. They very much paved the way for me to make this a possibility for me, told me I was valued, and told me there was a spot for me no matter what. So it was very much uh gratitude for them for helping me get back to my feet.

SPEAKER_00: 5:24

And it was such a crazy, uh terrible experience, but many of our listeners today are going through unexpected things, right? Say a diagnosis, breakup, job loss, migration, maybe a motherhood shift. I have myself like delved into all of this or some of this motherhood and you know then a tech career, being a creative. So when you look back, what was the first yes you said to yourself? What was that turning point that shifted your perspective where you moved from why me to why not me?

SPEAKER_01: 5:58

Yeah, I moved from why me to try me. And it's um this attitude I've got that kind of permeates my life, and it's just like I've always been underestimated, undersized, under you know, underestimated, and I just kind of relish that struggle, that stripe, that that that proving you wrong vibe. The way the nurse got me talking again, stripping out in the park, there's some kids playing football, soccer across the park. She goes, Dan, those kids across the park, they don't think you're good enough to talk, Dan. They don't think you're good enough to talk. And that instilled in me this fire of just, you know what, I can't do this, watch me. And I've kind of kept that mindset with me through this whole process. You know, why me to try me? And it's really helped me navigate every bump and setback in a way that's adversarial and like and combative in a way that I want to do better. I'm quite a competitive guy in some respects, and that really helped me to car parpend carpent carpentalize the struggle and the strife and put it in a way that was helpful and to navigate the change successfully. But everyone's gonna have different triggers for them, right? It's not gonna be the same for you as it is for me. But find out what works for you and motivation works for you and hammer that. Don't judge the motivation, ride that wave that comes because it may not be there always, right? Motivation is not always there, but discipline is. So find out what motivates you and hammer that discipline or the fight-hammer that motivation and hammer back up to where you were at before.

SPEAKER_00: 7:29

That's really so true because motivation isn't with us all day, every day, and we really need to tap into discipline to actually do what we said we were gonna do long after the mood, you know, that we've set it in has left. Now, very personal to me and my podcast is I'm trying to build a brand around turning lived experiences, lived stories into useful language that people can learn from and act on. And then your story particularly is a literally lived experience. So take us through how did you first translate that raw experience? What happened to you into a language, into a metaphor, and the story that other people could hear and apply. When did this idea come about?

SPEAKER_01: 8:12

Yeah, I used to give talks from my old outpatient rehab center at Wolfson to talk to the outpatients about how to navigate the world upside of the nerf football to the hospital. And I just came up with these stories and these lessons and these experiences I've had and share them with the group and just watch their eyes just kind of light up. It's like, oh, I guess I could do that too, right? My whole story is about aim small, miss small, and ratchet. Let me talk about what that means. So aim small, miss small, pick a small target you can hit. So for instance, getting the wheelchair 45 minutes, not 50, next week 40, not 45, then 35 not 30, and then you ratchet up that new baseline. That's the new standard. But pick a small target you can hit and then ratchet up to that point. For instance, I swim three times a week in the pool, and I could do 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 lengths in the pool. All those laps no matter what, no matter what, no matter what. Well, save one exception. If there's a backstroker in my lane, I can negate the lanes entirely. But I got a special thing with backstrokers. But I've kept that promise to myself. When you make a promise to yourself, you gotta keep that promise yourself. Look in the mirror, that's the person you gotta justify it to. But aim small, miss small, and ratchet is how I got to this point. You know, those first days in the pool, I would get in the pool for, you know, change for 30 minutes, swimming for five, change for 30. You know, and I'm changing for five, changing, and swimming for 60 every time. And it's like I got there by picking small steps I could hit and ratchet up that new baseline. But start somewhere and build momentum. Momentum's the key behind all this, right? Get forward progression, moving in the right direction. And you notice how how the world will conspire to help you when you got motivation on your side, momentum on your side. Momentum is so key for this. So do anything that can generate momentum, forward progress, and progress over perfection, right? Don't worry about if it's not perfect, it's a step forwards. And every step forwards is a step positive in direction in your recovery. So I'd recommend that approach to it. That's what I've used, and I continue to use today.

SPEAKER_00: 10:13

Incredible, yeah. And speaking of which, one of your taglines is better than yesterday. I love that. Meaningful, actionable, and for us, multitasking creatives and you know, uh a brief section of the listening audience who are busy moms, the better doesn't have to be grand. It can be small, it can be tiny. So, what were the microhabits that you used during your period of recovery, the tiny actions that you took when you couldn't yet do big things? What were those?

SPEAKER_01: 10:40

Well, it could be anything. Like, I'll give you an example. I used to live in the Herringate Ladder in London. It's a neighborhood name because the the streets kind of resemble a ladder, and I go for a walk one block in the morning before work. Next week I do two blocks. We have to that three blocks, then four blocks, then five blocks. I'm slowly being better than I was yesterday, but ratchet up in such a small, meaningful way, then I'm building momentum, right? In anything in your life, pick a small target you can do one time next week, then the week after you do two times, or one and a half times, but like build some progression and momentum. Momentum's what you want to capture and the feeling you want to get in your body. Like, if you can feel momentum, you understand the power it has. And you can really accomplish massive things if you just take that approach in your life by focusing on small winnable targets and building momentum week after week, month after month, year after year. I don't question if I can do it now because I've done it for so many years now in the past. I've built an undeniable stack of evidence that says I do what I say I'm gonna do. That's how you foster resilience. And resilience is what at the end of the day, I guess my talk is about. And everyone's resilient, right? You just haven't flexed the muscle yet. And you foster resiliency by keeping promise to yourself. So pick something small you can hit and win this week, then next week, do a little bit more. We kept that a little bit more, and rash up to a point where you're happy with. But you get there by aiming small and missing small, and just rashing up to that new baseline. Small steps, progress over perfection.

SPEAKER_00: 12:14

Really, yeah. And um I I very recently had a quote which said, When you focus your attention on your intention, then is when you gain momentum. And the way to keep momentum going is to constantly have greater goals or you know, just next set of goals ready in front of you that you want to achieve. So that is exactly how you keep marching forward one day at a time. Now, you speak about compressed workouts of sorts when you relearned to work, every single step counted. So, how did you drag or celebrate those wins when they were telling me they were small and also sometimes painful and barely visible? How did you applaud for yourself? Because we know in the periods of darkness and really at all times in life, we must also learn to acknowledge um ourselves, enable and empower ourselves by you know telling us stories that we win, even though they were small, but it's a win.

SPEAKER_01: 13:10

Well, it's all about progression, right? So, like I started walking with on the Zimmer frame, which is a four-post thing you lurch forward on. Then I moved up to the Ferrari. Now Ferrari was a four-wheeled walker in Ferrari Racing Red. I was going fast for me. This is in Ferrari Racing Red, so it was like my Grease Lightning. Then I moved up to Naked Walks. Now what's a naked walk you may ass? Walking without sporter aids, I was walking naked. Then came time to walk in Tooting Broadway. So Tuton Broadway was an area in South London. An area they call up and coming. Think loud sirens, drugs, gangs. It's dirty at hectic, and boys are busy. I'm walking with a cane, I'm walking with an eye patch. After four months in a wheelchair, I'm literally Bambi on ice. I turn the corner to walk on the high street for the first time, immediately get slammed into by someone. Stagger back a few feet. Someone else screams past from the right hand side. I thought I was done with the rats. Someone had been stabbed on the sidewalk over here. I'm thinking this is a pretty wild place to know how to walk. After a few days I was thinking this is the worst place to learn how to walk in the world. Can't they see I'm trying to walk here? Can't they see I'm trying here? And then one day my perspective shifted. Maybe this isn't the worst place to learn how to walk in the world. No, maybe this is the best. If I can walk here, I can walk anywhere. Now tune probably didn't change, right? But it went from the worst to the best in my mind, and my mood reflected that. What are you looking down in your life you're convinced is the worst? Convinced is the absolute worst. Hey, maybe it is. Maybe you can find a way to turn down the suck a little bit, shift that perspective a little bit. Iron Mike Tyson famously said, Everyone's got a plan until they get punched in the mouth. Now your punch may not be a brain image, right? Facts. Will be a job loss, a breakup, a diagnosis for your loved one. You will take that punch in the mouth, how you respond. I'm offering a compass, not a map, but a compass. It always points towards true north. Look at things like mindset, perspective, and hacks. Hacks follow you and your team. To better than yesterday. Tomorrow. My name's Dama Queen. And the reason why I told you the story of learning to walk into Broadway is when you change the way you look at the world, believe you look at changes. And you don't need a brain hammer just to understand that. So I shared that story with you to showcase how I fostered a mindset that served me to relish the suck and relish the struggle and allow myself to believe that this is the best place to learn how to walk in the world. But it was a mindset game above anything else. The mindset is the most important thing here. How you look at the world is everything. If you can shift your mindset, you can take on board any struggle and strife that you're dealing with. If you get your mindset right, you can accomplish big things. And by better than yesterday, turning down the suck and focus on the perspective, you can get there.

SPEAKER_00: 15:51

And if you can flip your perspective from a problem to an opportunity, certainly many, many realities are possible. In fact, there's an infinite pool of possibilities and options waiting for you, and you really live all of that in action. Now, talking a little bit more about mindset and just taking a natural but an organic shift here. You talk a lot about reframing adversity as an opportunity, right? It's again a perspective shift, a change. So give us one of your favorite reframes that click for you. Maybe the one that you use with your clients. Say, this, for example, this happened for me, not to me, and why me, or why not me, all of those kind of reframes. So which is your favorite one? Take us through that.

SPEAKER_01: 16:37

Well, I'd say the story I just shared with you is probably my favorite, but I'll give you some context for the for the group listening just to give you some perspective on how I kind of shoehorn myself into this mindset. The odds of being a human being are 400 trillion to one. 400 trillion to one. You're more likely to win the lotto ten times in your lifetime than you would have alive in the first place. You get to do this. So everything in your life, no matter how big or how small, is happening for you, not to you. You get to do this. I shouldn't be here right now. In all honesty, I should be dead and buried many times, but I'm still here and I'm still coming up swinging. Switch that mindset from why me to try me, right? The perspective of how much you have an opportunity to live life in the first place, allows me to live life in this this this light perspective. I get to do this. What a blessing this is to do. And that's something I really think helps me get through the day, and hopefully all your listeners get through the day as well.

SPEAKER_00: 17:34

Okay, and one one in a trillion, I am one in a trillion perspective is really quite uh life-changing if we think about it, because it just goes to demonstrate our uniqueness and you know how can win remarkably against overwhelming odds in the face of dark time, say like a long legal battle or like a diagnosis like your or anything uncertain, really. So um, thanks for sharing that with us, Dan. And now in in your speaking, you mentioned that change isn't slowing down, it's it is really growing and evolving from that place. So, for our listeners today, many of whom are navigating career ships, uncertainty, pepper birds, etc., how do you start to build resilience before the punch comes? Like, what are the early signals that we should pay attention to?

SPEAKER_01: 18:23

I really recommend your listeners to look into stoicism. That boils down as succinctly as I can say it now is control the controllables. Everything in your life you can or the control you can't control. I focus now what I can control and pump the rest. Punt the rest entirely. My world's very small in what I look at and what I'm getting stressed about because I only worry about what I can control. If it's not within my control, I don't worry about it at all. Life's gonna happen, right? You can't control life, but you can control how you view life. And control the controllables is a good way to get through life in a way that helps you navigate change successfully and just not swat the small stuff. So socialism is quite big for me, and I really recommend your listeners to look and explore that concept. Quite succinctly, it breaks down to control the controllables. Worry about stuff in your life you can control and not what's outside of your control. If I can control it, I do something about it. If not, I punt it immediately. And that's a very simplistic way to look at life, but I think it helps serve and navigate change successfully. So you don't get worried and stressed about things outside of your control. What can I do about this? What can I control? If not, then I don't worry about it at all. I punt it immediately. Hopefully that offers some perspective for your group.

SPEAKER_00: 19:32

And and you have this idea and brand of perspective panic. And as you just mentioned about controlling the controllables, that's such a positive reins for reinforcement for me and I'm sure to all our listeners about just taking into account what you can do. There's no point worrying about what can happen tomorrow. Just we get so stuck thinking and being in the loop of endless possibilities, you know, things that can possibly go wrong, what negative can happen. But the fact is, the truth is that it's just this moment right now that we have. Tomorrow is never guaranteed, but it is genuinely a gift. So we should learn to control what we can and then let it all sink. So your idea of perspective over panic, when panic rises, how do we shift to perspective? Can you unpack that a little bit more for a listening audience, especially when our emotions, you know, walk the show, feel legitimate and raw, and they're so overwhelming and so overbearing that it it is often difficult to get past them, just to steer the cloud and see something clearly. It it isn't possible in reality, unless you try really hard. So, what's your perspective on it?

SPEAKER_01: 20:44

Go back to stoicism, control the controllables. That's what I think about if something stressful comes up in my life. Can I control this? If yes, do something about it. If no, I punt in immediately. Keep your world small, keep your mindset pure. Don't get stressed about stuff that's outside of your control, but focus on what you can control. And when you do that, you really alleviate a lot of stress in your life that would be otherwise overwhelming and overbearing. Control the controllables and all else mental life and go with that.

SPEAKER_00: 21:12

And since I'm a mum to a wonderful one-year-old, um, it keeps me very busy. And we often talk about first step wins and walk the walk, top the top, gratitude mode. I'd love your view on integrating the better than yesterday mindset into everyday life, like the seemingly mundane routines that we do, much to others like, but then they eventually compound. So it's not like going and spending eight hours in a gym and then not going to the gym for a month's time. It is that small, small, tiny effort of hitting the gym every day or say five times in a week for 30 minutes. So, what would you encourage a busy mom or a creative to adopt? How can we make it more engaging and exciting and not think of it just like I gotta do it?

SPEAKER_01: 21:59

Yeah, better than yesterday is a good mindset to take on board, and that's simply just 1% better than you were yesterday, right? So over the course of a year, that's 365. But just pick small things you can implement to ratch up in your life. There's gonna be things that you, you know, you could have done this better last time or this week, or you know, maybe got a bit earlier to make the coffee before the kid wakes up, or just test things out and be okay with failure. Failure is a big thing, it's a first attempt in learning, as my friend Riel says. But be okay with failure and just be okay with the try things out in a different way. And when it works out better that way, ride that wave and come double down on that and improve that and lean into that as best you can. That's how you improve yourself and find out what works best for you, is by trial and error, first attempt in learning. So try things out and be okay with failure, and watch your success compound.

SPEAKER_00: 22:47

And I noticed that you know I was going to a website and it's it's a very pretty neat-looking website, and now you speak at corporate events. Lead keynotes on resilience, change management, leadership, and lasting habits. So, and this is one thing that I really want to do more professionally and have a deep dive into it. That's one of my aspirations. So, how did you make the leap from healing, your personal healing, to public platform? And how did how did you pursue this professionally? And what were the critical bitch moments for you?

SPEAKER_01: 23:19

Yeah, so my speaking career started out of giving my old keynote, giving little keynotes to the old outpatients in my old rehab center, right? So I do that once a quarter for probably two years. And I gave a talk for Hootsuite when I worked for Hootsuite uh for a mental health day online. I give it in person in London, but I gave it online in Vancouver. And the feedback I got from it was so profound, so so eye-opening. I was like, there's something I can do with this to make this work. When I lost that job part of a corporate restructuring a year later, I decided to lean into speaking full-time. And just got my assets in order, my assets together, my website, my demo reel, and just started refining my keynote topics and done a lot of podcasts as well to help my speaking uh improve, and also my talk tracks develop. So I tell stories on podcasts quite often. I've probably been on 60, 70 podcasts by now, and refine the story each time to see what works and what lands better. But trial and error is how I would recommend you get started in this, and just keep pumping out content, keep pumping out stories, and just see what works and improve yourself. Better than yesterday is a really true thing in this, and just look to ratchet up one small step at a time, and you get to a point where you're happy with the stories and you can start reaching bigger groups and organizations to get better video and better quality, and just ratchet there. But you get there by one step at a time, right?

SPEAKER_00: 24:34

Better than yesterday and all that, but really, and um Dan, you describe how teams can use your lessons, your loved experiences, and then reinforce some positive mindset shirts like flip the script from by me to try me, right? So, what does try me look like in practical terms for someone leading change in a tech organization? Hi, me, but for someone parenting a tabla or running a side business or juggling multiple careers or facing health issues. What's just that in reality when it comes to living it in a practical way? Like, it's one thing in theory, but the execution in reality is really hard. What does it look like in terms of practically living and doing that?

SPEAKER_01: 25:19

It's a mindset above anything else, right? Like, try me is really like just saying anything in life that comes at me, I'm gonna you're gonna say tr you're gonna have to try me on this. Like, I can take it. You're gonna try me on this? Cool. I'm gonna take this on board. You level up every time opportunity and like and adversity strikes you. It could be uh a budget cut, it could be a job loss for someone on your team, it could be um a fussy toddler, like, oh you think I can't handle this? I'm gonna level up and show you what I can do. It's that proving you wrong vibe that kind of encapsulates everything I do. And it's not always uh this combative approach, but it's kind of like this belief in yourself that you're good enough to do it. And so you're saying to the world and to your adverse adverse uh person, just saying, you know, try me. I'm okay, I can handle this, I'm comfortable with myself and what I can accomplish. So let's level up together and grow stronger.

SPEAKER_00: 26:11

Yeah, and and I was smiting. Of course, you can't see me, but when you said that bad, right? Because I feel like like my mom has been telling me ever since I was a little kid that, hey girl, you're a rebel and you better not be. Like she didn't mean badly. But what I'm trying to say is that I have my own mind and I just want to do what feels right for me and what clicks with me and what works with my intuition. And if that's coming across like a rebel, so be it. So this unshakable faith and confidence in yourself, your beliefs and your abilities is the one that you exactly just described, takes us very, very far. So, talking of that, let's talk about paleorem setback. You've been about twice, brain surgeries, coma, rehab, and yet you say it's not what happens to you, but how you respond to it is what really matters. So, walk us through your lowest moments and how you really actually created the pivot and now you have a successful speaking career. So, I mean, I'm sure that must have been hard, like it needed a lot of hard work from your end. So, how do you know when it's time to pivot rather than persist? What was that shift like?

SPEAKER_01: 27:22

Well, this whole experience has been full of setbacks, right? Like, I mean, walking, talking was all not straight out of the gate nailness. This took a lot of work and and and effort to get back to this. A year into this recovery, I had a second setback, which I don't think I spoke about with you earlier. What happened was I was found unconscious in my flat by my mom. I used to be my mom in the tube before I went to work in the morning. You know, one day I didn't show up. She calls my stomach no response, walks up to my flat about a five-minute walk from Goldhawk Road tube station, finds me unconscious on the floor. I wake up the next day in the hospital, beeping noises are hard, and I'm going off behind me, you know, beep, beep, beep, beep, what happened? What happened? What happened? Well, then you had a second setback. What do you mean? The shutdown's in my brain had blocked leading to hydrocephalus or water on the brain. Very rare they tell me, less than 10% of cases. But I haven't worked for you to get back to the office with behind me. I was putting my life back together, right? And this came back and ripped the carpet from my feet. This was a setback I can't even explain to you. This is the lowest point of my life. The deepest point of hardship for me and my family. Like it was just nothing can go right for me. But I realized that rock bottom, well, bedrock's a pretty good foundation to build from. I realized I was still there. The gains from rehab were lost, but I knew I could rehab better because I just done rehab, so I knew I could do that faster this time. And I got to work, and I call work chop wood carry water. It's a repetitive task that I get into at a certain join. And I just chop wood, carry water, and got back to work and got back to taking this one step at a time. It's a mindset, is what I'm trying to tell you. The mindset of I can do this, though the try me was there, right? That try me was for sure there the second time. You think you got me down here the second time? No. Try me. Like you you just you go at it right at right at it, right at the adversity, and you just say, try me, and you grow back up stronger faster. But it's a mindset game that you gotta get on board first. If you get the mindset right, you can accomplish anything. Now I I look at life and I'm like, what do you come on me with that I can overcome? I'm not asking for trouble, but I'm just saying in myself, I believe that I can overcome hard things. Because I've overcome hard things in the past. Look at my track record, try me. Is a real life mantra to take on board to this, right? If you can instill that in your vibe, what can't you overcome and accomplish? If you can really believe that in your whole body, you're gonna come up with this like this this this negative thing or this bad comment, I'm like, cool. Like that's not really gonna impact me. Like, look what I overcome in the past. Like, this is nothing for me. You're nothing for me. But instill that mindset of like try me is what you want to do, and then you can accomplish almost anything.

SPEAKER_00: 30:01

Really, it's that belief within our own selves that help us and prepare us to move forward. Now, you talk about being in a wheelchair, walking with a cane, and then gradually rebuilding from there. So for someone hearing this who's in the cane stage of life, could be physically, emotionally, uh mentally, or just professionally, um, Dan, what are the two or three overarching frameworks that you share with organizations that you believe everyone could benefit from? It could be regardless of industry, role, status. So I'm thinking around mental health perspective, microhabits or incremental gains. What are those frameworks that you teach and share the leaders and organizations that you walk with? That we could we could all walk away from?

SPEAKER_01: 30:46

Yeah, question, like going back to the cane stage, like is this like is this trial and error, right? Like I I walked. When I walk, I can't always see the ground. I've got dull vision. So like I'm walking with like I'm pretending the ground's there, but I can't always see. So I'm walking forwards thinking the ground's there. And sometimes I trip and fall, right, when I'm walking with a cane. And that's not a good look for a 39-year-old guy walking and falling on his you know, his hands and knees in the middle of downtown or central London. But you have to go through that difficult part to get to the other side. You're gonna be okay with scraping your knees and scraping your elbows and scratching your hands. Like you're gonna fail and fall down. But first attempt in learning for failure, right? Be okay with failure. Just fail fast and fail often. And pivot and adapt, and then ratchet up with better than yesterday. It's all like cyclical here here. Like you're just going into the failure faster, improving it and ratcheting up. Be okay with that, because there's gonna be some really growing pains with this change, right? You're experiencing. Early days walking with the cane, it was not smooth sailing, it was very difficult and arduous. Lots of failed attempts, lots of scraped knees, but I managed to get through this. And I got there by trial and error and continually going into it again and again and again.

SPEAKER_00: 31:54

Yeah, and as the there's a very famous quote which says, You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. You can just be on the first step and then you can figure it out from there. You don't have to see the entire picture really to, you know, start marching towards it. It's the very first step that that really counts. And first step is always the most difficult one, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01: 32:18

Yeah, just take the first step and just keep taking steps after that. Like it's just like it's amazing how much it just becomes easier after you do it one time, and then two times, and then three times, and then you're walking, you're like, well, what was it like to not walk? I was I can't believe I was so scared to walk for the first step. Take the first step and watch what happens, right? Progress and momentum are so key for this. Progress over perfection. Don't worry about the the the situation be perfect, like just take the first step and get progress going, momentum going. And you'll be amazing what can be accomplished.

SPEAKER_00: 32:48

You used to run a podcast, your podcast is on a pause right now, Dan. But can you please tell me about what the name means? Play, loose, look tight. What's the process of documenting life after?

SPEAKER_01: 33:00

Yeah, thank you. So the podcast is on pause, as you mentioned. It's called play loose look tight, documenting the process of life after. What does play loose look tight mean? That's ridiculous. This very much is a great question. I'm glad you asked it. Play loose look tight is a life mantra in forwards. Play being the first word by intention. Loose is the second word. Play is the first word, right? You want to make things lightful and playful and gamification of things. Conversely, you want to look tight, untime the address, and demeanor. Apologies for being a few minutes late today for the podcast. But look tight is also part of that yin and the yang. But in forwards, you got a life monster that I live by. Play loose, look tight. Document process of life after is what the life after is after the brain hemorrhage. But it's all about mental models. I got an expression and a hack every episode. Interview people that have gone through hardship and hard things. Also mapping out the way I navigate life post-injury. It's a pretty rough cut podcast, but it's the lessons learned there, I think, are pretty profound and pretty dynamite. It's a passion project, but it's uh something quite close to my heart if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00: 34:06

And we would love to have more episodes from you. Are you planning to come back with the second season, or how are you like, are you planning to relaunch or revamp your uh banding around it? What's the plan?

SPEAKER_01: 34:19

Uh the plan's on hold for right now. I'm trying to get speaking on a more consistent basis now. That's my main priority. I think that's the main lever for me right now. Once that gets going, I'll look to reboot the podcast. It's a fun project for me to do. I'll probably need to spend some money on an editor because my editing skills are not very good, as you can attest by listening to the podcast. Audio kind of falls off a cliff, but it's uh it's uh the content is second to none. The editing itself is not very good, but the content is second to none on that podcast.

SPEAKER_00: 34:52

Sorry? So I was just going on Apple Podcasts and looking at your uh cabaret, and I really like it. I think you must resume, maybe after finding a good editor.

SPEAKER_01: 35:00

Yeah, we'll see how it goes. But it's uh it's a cool project, and it's it's it's I I mean I consume a lot of podcasts, right? I really enjoy podcasts because I've still got double vision, right? So I consume content much easier through the ears and the eyes.

unknown: 35:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 35:13

And I consume podcasts at a voracious rate, so I really enjoy the medium and and I think the podcast space is really interesting to see. And I've got some perspectives and stories to show that I think can help people navigate change successfully, which is pretty cool.

SPEAKER_00: 35:26

Yeah, and it all sounds very serious, and I know you even mentioned this in the about section of your podcast that you bring your light-hearted approach to this. And no pity parties here, because um sometimes it's overwhelming and topics with a lot of emotions, it can get a little bit tricky, like you have to care carefully tiptoe around it. So I would uh really look forward to listening in to some of your um episodes, and I know you share your hats, you know, all that you've learned bases you experience from the own life uh changing challenges that you face. So thank you so much for joining us today, Dan. Um, we've covered a lot from crisis to combat, microhabit's mindset, healing to now you're professionally thriving, which is wonderful. You inspired a lot of us, of course, including me. And for the listeners, I hope you've pulled at least one nugget that you will you can, you know, walk into your life, your work, motherhood, or you know, just next pivot that you're planning to do. If band's story resonated with you, I encourage you to visit Dan's website. I'll put all the links to the website in the socials down below in the show notes. You can also follow Ben on the I think you will also on LinkedIn, LinkedIn and Instagram as well. So if the listeners want to reach out to you or connect, they could do that. And Ben, do you have yeah, any parting comments uh or any parting notes for our listening audience today before you go?

SPEAKER_01: 36:50

Yeah, one one sentence that really will land hard with the audience, I hope, is it's not what happens to you, but how you respond to the matters, right? How you respond to the matters. Turn that why me into try me, and let's go.

SPEAKER_00: 37:03

Beautiful. Thank you, Dan. Uh, and it has been such a powerful reminder for me as well. As I was just listening on the other side, I'm like, yeah, what a powerful change in the perspective. So I really honor the time that I got to spend with you today. It has been truly enriching and wonderful. Thank you so much for opening up and sharing your story. And thanks to our listening audience. Until next time, I am Pupani and stay curious, stay courageous, and own your story. Signing off for now. Bye bye.