Stop Fitting In: Start Flying Out with Arnold Beekes

We trace the arc from conditional belonging and conformity to brain fitness and unconditioning, challenging labels that keep people small. We share tools to shift from comparison and fear to inside-out thinking, so you can reclaim your uniqueness and make real change.

• childhood conformity and conditional belonging 
• conformity across school, work and culture 
• innovation paradox and the cost of compliance 
• burnout reframed as self-betrayal 
• hidden conditioning and unhealthy escapes 
• brain fitness defined and why it matters 
• social media fear loops and control 
• problems with mental illness labels and overmedication 
• three starting points for change 
• identity beyond comparison and using uniqueness 
• inner change linked to outer impact 
• practical steps and programs to uncondition

For our listening audience, if today stirred something uncomfortable, or if this episode was a reminder of something that you've been trying to avoid, that restlessness, that quiet knowing, maybe that's not fear, maybe it is your free one working on. Remember that you'll never, never meant to fit into a world that profits from your side. Until next time, keep questioning, keep choosing, and stop fitting in and please start flying out.

Meet Arnold Beekes- https://braingym.fitness/

Chapters

• 0:00 From Fitting In To Flying Out
• 2:00 Childhood Conformity And Conditional Belonging
• 5:20 Schooling, Work, And The Conformity Machine
• 10:30 The Innovation Paradox At Work
• 16:20 Burnout Or Self‑Betrayal
• 20:40 Unconditioning And Hidden Conditioning
• 27:40 Social Media Fear Loops And Control
• 33:40 Rethinking “Mental Illness” And Labels
• 41:00 Three Starting Points For Change

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:06

If you think about it, mental and emotional limitations keep them living, keep them lighting themselves, and it's gonna take some impact that they are capable of making. This growing being sickness isn't just on failure, it is the cost of living someone else's life. And that is exactly what today's conversation is about. Welcome back to the SciPy Podcast with me. I'm your host, the Pali, a speaker, a storyteller, a mom, and someone who believes that real growth doesn't always start with fixing yourself. My guest for today enables people to move from fitting in to flying out. His life journey spans military conditioning, traditional education, corporate conformity, and ultimately return to elephant. Today, our focuses on brain fitness and the R in conditioning, helping professionals, managers, entrepreneurs dismantle mental and emotional restrictions, limitations, reclaim their uniqueness and live their own life in their own truth. His mission is building inhuman to stop humans from being reboticies and the males from being humanized. It's that's the ways. And welcome to the show. I'm very excited for this conversation with you today.

SPEAKER_00: 1:43

Very happy to be here, D Pali. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01: 1:47

Thank you. I will your story began in an environment where conformity wasn't optional, it was really a matter of survival. Like military households, patrols, clear expectations. If you compare it, things were calm. But if you didn't, there was anger. So take us back there. Take us to your story, who you are, who were you, and what did being a good child actually meant in your own world?

SPEAKER_00: 2:17

Well, who I am now is very different from who I was when I grew up. Like uh like you mentioned, uh my father was a military officer, and he was totally about command and control, and there was no dissenting opinion allowed you're always more than 100% supposed to do exactly like he told you, and if you didn't do exactly you had a big problem and he would be very angry. So that meant that the only way life I intentionally use the word life was only tolerable if I keep on doing exactly as he told me to do. So that is what I say. I I grew up in an environment with the ultimate form of fitting in, meaning I was only good enough if I do exactly what he told me. And and that mean that I was not living my own life, I was essentially living his life and constantly trying to meet his expectations.

SPEAKER_01: 3:30

Okay, that must have been hard, but also what really stands out to me is how early you learned that belonging was conditional, right? That if you met expectations you were safe, and if you didn't, that would be reburned. So, how many adults do you think are still living their lives just trying to avoid the same emotional threat of any kind? You know, just in different forms. As you've worked with a lot of people, how how do you think that experience goes? And a lot of people are avoiding something or the other, right? Could be emotional threat, could be grief, anger, pain, anything. What's your experience been like there?

SPEAKER_00: 4:09

I have well my my experience is is is not standard, I would say. Uh because it was as far as I understand, quite exceptional. There are worse cases, yeah, there are people who get mentally, sexually, in other ways abused or they get beaten physically, physically abused, and all these things. There are many, many much worse cases, but the other cases outside of that, uh I what I experienced was kind of exceptional, but I would say in answer to your question that ev 95% of the people are supposed to fit in because that's the way our our society is organized. That's why they invented something which they called education, and the goal of education is semi-fication and is to make you fit into the bigger picture and do what other people tell you to do. So everyone who has been to school uh has better upbringing, maybe even religion. So I would say by far almost all people have some form of experience of fitting in.

SPEAKER_01: 5:33

You know, fitting in and conforming to you know what's standard and what's normal is you know has been the case, I suppose I can safely say for a lot of us, right? Now you entered workforce both in small companies and you know work you've also worked with multinationals and even there you realized and you described the pressure, like a strong pressure to somehow comply, right, to be in conformance with their sat standards or expectations or just pressure. And what fascinated me is this contradiction. And you mentioned you were hired to innovate but still expected to confirm. So how does that kind of environment, and I think I don't want to do a general sweeping statement, but a lot of the work environment slowly drains people because um their creative editions down, they're not able to innovate, and that's why culture is so so important, right? It's very important to be around different individuals and to work for an organization which is very inclusive and innovative at the same time, so that the environment supports you out and also the group of the organization so that you can work towards a shared purpose. So tell me how is it like you know, how do you feel like this environment is slowly draining people? Well, sometimes they realize, sometimes they don't.

SPEAKER_00: 6:56

Well, it it's always different from when you are new, you get out of your education, can be university, can be something else, doesn't matter. When you get started in the business world, everything is new for people, you get new experiences, but also like hey, you get a salary, and maybe you can well get a mortgage, get a house, buy a car, go on holiday. So all these things in the beginning are kind of exciting and new, and the longer you are, the well, for most people, the more boring it gets, and the more you realize that you're just a cock in the machine and you are trying to contribute, but that's not the goal. The goal is to do exactly what your boss tells you to do, and if you do that, you're okay, if not, we kick you out. So it's it's the same conformistic approach which you find in the educational system, which I find at home in kind of the military setting, um, well, or even in some religion or spiritual setting, it's the same. Do like the principal says, and you're okay. The moment you deviate, you have a problem, and that indeed drains people because your own ideas, your own suggestions, and doing things a little bit different than they told you to do, they don't want that. So, innovating is kind of exactly the opposite. Every company, large or small, says when you ask them, is it willing to innovate and do yeah, we need to be competitive and follow the trend and the market and innovate and do new things. That is just hockwash because it's it's just like the same what what they call greenwashing, is like, yeah, of course we care about the climate and the environment and and everything like they call it greenwashing, is because when push comes to shove, they don't care. When push comes to shove, they say, Yes, the people are the center of us, and we care about the people and everybody else. Well, I tell you, they don't, they only care about the profit. So the same is with innovation, is like they say they want to innovate because that's what you're supposed to say as an executive or as a board or to your shareholders, yeah. But when the moment comes you want to change things, nobody wants to change. Everybody wants someone else to change, but they don't want to change themselves. So that is indeed a very sharp observation of you DeCali is that that's a paradox because in their outward communication, like, yes, of course we want to be new and whatever, but inward they don't.

SPEAKER_01: 9:47

Yeah, yeah, and it's so true. Um, everywhere it's just a matter of just paying a little bit of attention to realizing it, right? Now, I keep thinking about it. How many people call it burnout when it's actually self-betrayal, right? It's it's burnout sometimes. The brain, your brain telling you it's saying, I can't live someone else's life anymore. I'm doing this, but this the ideals is not sitting around with. And then you end up feeling betrayed, uh bit uh just you know, downright frustrated about things that you cannot do, you know that you want to do. You're doing something that you really have you have no interest in business joining, right? Now, the art of unconditioning, you see something powerful, you say you don't even know you've been conditioned. Now that's a big statement. Explain to us how our minds, our bodies, emotions, and even our future is quietly being hijacked without us realizing, and once we have this awareness, what can we do to take the power back?

SPEAKER_00: 10:46

Yeah, that is the problem because, like I said, almost everyone is conditioned to be a very obedient slave in someone else's game. So it's not that you have that experience and nobody else, no, sooner or later everybody else has that experience, and that is why so many people are looking for an escape, and most of the time that escape is quite unhealthy, meaning start to drink alcohol, maybe some drugs, gaming addictions, shopping addictions, eating addictions, all these things are well, most of them are in place to escape this situation which people don't like, but they realize that they are kind of stuck in that situation, so the only way to escape is the weekend and the evening, and then do things to put your mind well in another mindset, which is most of the time extremely unhealthy and makes things worse. So you mentioned burnout, because now will you look at the percentage like burnout, stress, depression, anxiety, most of it still boils down to the same. Of course, you feel like that. I think it's totally natural to feel like that when you're supposed to live someone else's life and not your own life. I usually take the metaphor of a dog and a cat, and I don't mean it offensive, I mean it as a clear metaphor. The suppose you well, you're in a house and and well, you agree you wanna buy a dog, so you buy a puppy, a labrador, and the moment it's eight weeks old and it is a very young dog, and it comes in your household, and from the moment it's in your household, you start to treat it like a cat. So you're not going out with it, you're not running, you just open the door and say, Well, you you can sit in the garden, and and you uh you don't you don't treat it, you you give it food like like for a cat and everything, and that's how you treat the dog. So the dog is non-stop being treated as a cat. What do you think will happen to the dog? Well, I'll tell you, the dog will either be extremely complacent and lazy and and and be totally doing nothing, or it might become aggressive, or it might become sick. Well, I would not suggest to try it, but that will happen. This is happening to us humans all the time. So it's like we are we are treated, the poly is treated as as Catherine and Arnold is treated like Peter, and but hey, we were not born that way, we're not doing it. So you're you're forced to live someone else's life. Of course you have burnout and stress and anxiety and depression and and a lot of other of these other labels, because I think it's natural. If you don't feel that, you have an even much bigger problem.

SPEAKER_01: 14:16

Yeah. Yeah, I love it. I love it when you said I'm living someone else's, you're living someone else's, like you know, if you just want to talk about it and it's time that we all realize it. And I feel like I don't would like especially with today's day and means uh one side of this is that we have access to social media and like with access to technology, it's amazing, it's amazing how much we can learn and like technology is the right tool, but also sometimes it is planting these seeds of kind of awareness to others, right? Like you are now getting to think about it. Okay, it's important that I live my own life. It's it's very important then that people realize and finally say that I'm not broken, but it's the system that changed me this way. I would just went a bad hand. And now I need to make a melee internships and rearrange my thinking and my mindset. So there are something to have to really change in life. Now, talking about this exact topic and speaking about brain fitness here, mental illness is rising and my attention span, attention is just declining, people feel barren to burden, and sometimes also far less. Now, what does healthy brain fitness actually look like to you at the age, and why is it so efficient and important?

SPEAKER_00: 15:40

Well, my definition of brain fitness is a state of psychological and physical well-being in which an individual uses his or her uniqueness, learns continuously, deals with challenges, and contributes to a better world for everyone. Why is brain fitness so important? Because, well, it's exactly like you said, social media at the moment is most of it is very toxic. And that's not by coincidence, that's by design. The design, the algorithms are supposed to make you addictive and they mostly impose fear. So everything, well not everything, but most of it is driven by fear. So you you're hardly ever being excited or enthusiastic when you watch social media. No, you're full of fear and anxiety. And that's the goal, that's what they want because people who are fearful are easy to control. And sick people, whether mentally or physically sick, are also easily to control, so that's what they want. It's intentionally, it's not a coincidence. It's it's and that has shifted over the years because initially it was a very interesting tool with which you could use to connect with people to learn about things, but now it's become if if you look at all the headings, even even at YouTube or something like all the heading. I I I'm following travel vlogs, and I like that to see other countries and copy. All of the things are now negatively phrased, like you should see this before you you go there, and what is the biggest danger here? And the biggest problems in that country. And did you know about this shit in this country? So it's like everything is supposed to create your attention because it's fears, like, oh, I gotta pay attention. Everything, even if it's just a video about a beach place in Spain. You see, it's like everybody does that because it attracts attention, and it attracts attention, is numbers, is people, is money. Yeah, so it's like it's got nothing to do with I want to inform you, I wanna help you make informed decisions where you want to go on holiday. It's like, no, it's about the numbers, and you get more numbers if you create fear than if you create something exciting and something helpful. So that is why people are now, and the numbers are really really staggering. The numbers of people who are now labeled with mental illness, which is not a mental illness by the way, but I will get there in a moment. I had done some research, and in 1952, when they started the uh the official labeling of people with mental illnesses, use the DSM, DSM's DS statistical uh memory, and it's like the numbers in 1952 we had 197 million global mental health cases, which was at that point in time 7.6% of the world population. In 2024, so last year, there were 2.4 billion cases, counting for 29.5% of the world population.

SPEAKER_01: 19:17

So what's um that's a childing number?

SPEAKER_00: 19:21

Yeah, that's totally incredible, yeah. And there are a lot of things where this diagnostic statistic manual cannot explain it, and because and even it went from 106 different labels to merely 300 today because they added labels and labels and labels and labels, but that doesn't count for the raise in the numbers, so there are a lot of other things happening in our society that means that people are labeled with mental illness, and then I want to go back to mental illness, mental illness should Suggest that mentally is kind of the same as physical illness. It's like if you you broke your knee or you broke your ankle or you have some kind of uh infectious the measles or something like that. Oh, that's a bodily, that's a physical illness, and you need to get some medicine and then you will be better. And then they started applying that to what they call mental illness. It's like, ah, we use the same approach, it's like there is something wrong with you. Yeah, um, okay, we label you that you have officially an illness, whether it's HDHD polar, or well, like I said, there are now almost 300 labels, and then there's they say, like, okay, um, so you're sick, you have an illness, you need to get medicine, and the medicines are called SSRIs, that's just the category of medicine, which and then they say, Oh, you gotta take them the rest of your life, and then you will be okay, which is a lie, because actually, most if not all of these medicines make people worse, make people addictive, numb people down, and they have all kinds of side effects. So if you have like one sort of SSRI, then you need another medicine because of the side effects, and then that medicine creates side effects, which means in the end, people end up with six forms of different medicine and they feel more lousy than they did before. So, the most mental illness is just a lie, and why is it a lie? Because you're not sick, there's nothing wrong with you. There is not that they they have a theory which they call the chemical imbalance theory. Like, yeah, the chemicals in your brain are not good, so we need to give you medicine to put the balance in order. That is complete BS, that is not true. So it's the same approach as with your physical illness, is that they want to get you addicted and be permanent customers for using the medicine, but all these medicines are making you worse off, and there's no relief, and it's not that in the end it's like okay, I've done this for a few weeks, a few months, and then I will be told completely better. That is not the case, you will be worse.

SPEAKER_01: 22:33

So continue to be what you said, uh it's about do not what's really just for the fundamental level, it's about becoming more yourself. Without the conditioning, what the world is not imposing you to be social media also for that matter. For someone's listening stuff, or just not because I know a lot of people can be can be in that spot like a car is like a small shit or like a series of small changes that we can make today so they're more remote, more important and ready to take control of the life back. How can they become more mentally fetched if if that helps?

SPEAKER_00: 23:22

Well I I start everything with what I call three starting points. And the first one, which is really really important, is that people need to understand that it is not their fault because most people, if not all, including myself, you means there's something wrong with me, or I did make me a mistake, or all of these well, that self-talk and everything around it is like you think it's your fault, but it's not. You you are the if you don't take control, you're the victim of intentionally being conditioned, and that has got nothing to do with you, that's got all the things to do with the people who pull the strings in our world. So there is really, really nothing wrong with you, it's not your fault, but you need to become aware and realize that people are doing this for a reason, and the reason I just shared is they want to control you. The second part in getting started is that you need to realize, and there is the narrative, whether it's a religious narrative or a cultural or societal or business narrative, which tells you like all the people are innate good. Everybody's innate good, that's not true. There are most people are innate very good and want to do good things in the world, but there are also a couple of people who are very, very evil, and those are mostly the people who pull the strings in our world. So don't get fooled by that narrative. Like, no, no, no, you should understand everybody's good. That's not the case. Number three. Number three is that I say you need to overhaul your way of thinking from outside in thinking to inside out thinking. Outside in it means always is that it's like okay, I'm meeting expectations. Oh, is my boss okay? Is my father okay? My mother, my friend, my yeah, so you're constantly focused on other people. The comparing things is like, oh yeah, which is with the social media, like, oh my friend has got a new dress or new shoes or a new bag. Oh, I still have that old bag. Oh, I need another one also because um I look stupid now. So we're constantly comparing with other people. We first look at other people and then at ourselves. That makes us feel lousy because we are unique, we're just not the same as everybody else. So you need to switch that to inside out thinking is like, no, oh my what do I want to do? And you shouldn't care about whatever people think. So those are the three points to getting part of it.

SPEAKER_01: 26:19

I've said the inside out, that's important, and not thinking that worrying about what people think and mommy and bad about others of feminine and wrong projection of female and reality and the negotiation and move is actually very, very, very important because you just keep thinking about others that you might you just kind of put yourself to side manies one step, one thing after the other, to a point where you actually truly are, right? Like if you allow people to project their fears onto you, you are not going to live your life. Right?

SPEAKER_00: 26:55

Yeah, yeah, but even most people don't know who they are because you're so focused on the outside world and meeting those expectations, and then if you meet those expectations you're okay from their perspective, not from your perspective. That means that you don't get a chance to figure out who you are. It it took me until the beginning of my 40s that my first coach asked me, and I I I had a lot of problems, and that's why I found a coach. This was 2000, so it's a long time ago. Having a coach that was not very well known, especially not in the Netherlands where I'm from. But the the main thing, it we had a discussion, and I was saying, whereas I I had a very senior position in in the business world, and uh I was an executive, blah blah blah. But he he asked, and I said, I don't want bosses anymore, I don't want this anymore, I don't want this anymore. This is what you if if you ask anyone what they want, they start with telling you what they don't want. I did the same. So and then he said, Arnold, I understand, but can you please tell me what do you want? I really had no clue answering this question. I was in the beginning of my 40s, no one in my life had ever asked me that question. So I didn't know the answer, and that is what most people do. I I've coached hundreds of people, I'm coaching people for 50 years now, so I've spoken to quite a few. Everybody start asking that question, they don't know. So, again, it's not your fault because people don't care who you are, because as long as you do what you're told and you're an obedient slave, you're fine. So, thinking about who am I, what do I love to do, what are my strengths, how do I want to contribute, what what legacy do I want? What how how how can I help other people? Nobody cares, so they don't ask. So that's a very sad thing, because I think you should be asking people who are beginning of their teenagers that kind of question, because it will drive the rest of their life, but as nobody is interested, you're only interested in as long as you do what I say, you're a good person.

SPEAKER_01: 29:30

Yeah, yeah, as long as you conform to the societal standards and what's considered right and good, you're good. And the moment you start having boundaries, and the moment you start questioning things, the moment you start saying no, is when everybody loses their shit. Be like, oh, okay, what's wrong with your mom? Right? Look at her. What do they even think of themselves? I know I've written that spread many, many times in my mind, and now like hindsight island, I think like talking between anyone and power or ego, but just with a lot of pride. It is it is so so important. And this is something that I fondly remember learning from my dad. Like I would see him not good from like he wouldn't go out and fight and pick up fights and just be rebellious outright. And you know, whatever's group rather his own gut organization, a gut and instinct. So those are very, very important things to me. Now, speaking of which, the you connect personal freedom to connective responsibility, right? For organizations and and just you know, everybody, the planet. Why can't we separate inner change from outer impact? And how do you think we know it's intertwined? How do you think we're doing it in execution, in duality, changing your inner world to have some impact or the outcomes that you're gonna have in the outer world, positive impact? How do you go about doing that?

SPEAKER_00: 31:04

Well, I'm inclined to say what what one of the famous quotes of Gandhi, Mahatma Gandhi from India, who said, You have to be the change you want to see in the world.

SPEAKER_01: 31:18

So every change I love that. I'm glad you mentioned it. I'll put it in the show notes down below.

SPEAKER_00: 31:24

Yeah, so every every change starts with changing yourself, and that is like I said before, people don't want to change. I think it's even intentionally built into the design of us humans, kind of into our DNA, that they won't prevent change. Why do they want to prevent change? Well, they spend on average, let's say 15-20 years on your education to make you extreme compromistic, make you the same as everybody else, so they spend so much time and energy in conditioning you, they don't want you to say, Yeah, well, thank you very much. I'm gonna do it totally different. They don't want that, so it's built in, I I believe, into the fabric of humans that people have inherently fear and and resistance and laziness, so you're not inclined to change, they don't want you to change because they know that if everybody changes, the whole world will change, just like Gandhi said. So it's like it's really the opposite, it's intentionally that they don't want you to change. I don't know about you, but many people I spoke. I uh I went to university, I had a very high school education on the high school, there was nowhere a topic called change or change management, it was never discussed. Well, you could ask, why is that? Um, so the and the reason is quite simple, they don't want you to change, they don't want you to think about change. It's changing yourself, changing your community, changing your company, changing your city, changing your country, they don't want that. So it's it's really a built-in opposition which has a huge impact. So if you want to change, a lot of people, well, I think it's already for decades and decades, like yeah, then especially big companies, which you can also talk about governments and everybody. Like, yeah, we got a big change program, we're gonna change this, we're gonna be not product-centric but customer-centric, or we're gonna be more sustainable, we're gonna be this, and then all these big plans. Of all these things fail. Why do they fail? Because it's just lip surface, it's just people say something, they don't really mean it, they don't care for it, they don't feel it. But in the end, it's like everybody says, Yes, of course we're gonna change, of course we're gonna do this thing. Yeah, it really looks good, but people's behavior stays the same. That's why things don't change.

SPEAKER_01: 34:15

Yeah, so yeah, it's yeah, it's so important to realize it and start seeing the changes within you first and then expect to do this with violator in your outside world. I believe that real change begins when individuals of us, we reclaim our thinking, right? Like the mindset that we operate in. When we start to change that mindset and the way we think, I think everything that we think of and the way we look at the world changes before systems can ever truly transform, right? Um, I don't know if someone listening today feels like they've lived most of their life on an autopilot. Meeting expectations and checking boxes and completing their to-dos, just plain surviving. I mean unfortunately have been an art country even today in that spot. What do you want to say to them?

SPEAKER_00: 35:10

I'm gonna repeat and it it it it's it's not and I'm repeating it because it's so important, it's not your fault. I was in the same situation for the first 40 years of my life. And most people don't realize this even before they die. You probably have heard about the there's been a few years ago a nurse in hospice in Australia asked people who were dying, is i is is like, what's your biggest regret? And out of that came a book and a top five of regrets. Do you know what the number one was? Deepali? What was the number one?

SPEAKER_01: 35:50

No, I don't want to take a guess, go for it.

SPEAKER_00: 35:54

The the main thing is not living a life true to yourself.

SPEAKER_01: 35:58

Exactly. I was thinking about it. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 36:02

Someone else's life Yeah, all their life. Yeah, and and it's like you were a housewife, you did what your husband expects from you, or your parents, or whatever you so it's like I said, it's it's very sad, but it's like it's not strange that it well people never realize it, or like myself when I was in my forties, or it's it's like that's why I'm I'm I'm well I'm promoting my work not from a monetary point of view, but I'm promoting it to help all these people who now have this label of mental illness who are really not sick, but they're just the victim of a terrible conditioning system. Yeah, and and and what what people can do is to become aware, yeah, is to become aware that wow, it's not my fault. It's like, hey, what this guy Arnold is saying is like I feel the same, and it's like, yeah, and that's the moment you can start to change, and what I tell you is like you have unlimited potential. Everyone in the world has unlimited potential, but you can there's there are barriers between you and your unlimited potential which you gotta remove, yeah, and that is what I call unconditioning, but that's the work you need to do yourself and everything around. But when you do that, there are no limits, there are really no limit. The only limits are in your own brain, you know. So it's like when you remove it. I I use the sports analogy, it's like whether you talk about world championships or the Olympics, and I ask people, I say, how many people who win a gold medal are wearing a strait jacket? And they say, Arnold, what a stupid question! What a strange question. I say, of course nobody's wearing a strait jacket. Then I respond, but why are you? You wanna win the gold medal, but you are wearing 20 different strait jackets. So your work is to start removing those strait jackets. Yeah, and that is that is the work which you need to do, and when you remove them, you're like, oh wow, I didn't know I could do that. Because everybody said always I was not good enough, or I never could do that, or well no us us people cannot do these things, whatever. When you trade jacket, see it like a whole new world opens up for you, and it's like holy moly, I I never realized that I had these talents that I could do all these things.

SPEAKER_01: 38:45

It's so so unfortunate that the people are like not even tapping into that. And I've gonna say it's good for oversimplifying, which I don't intend to do at all, but just like that for some part. Like, I I didn't let anyone I could do, like I was just thinking like the mention that I could possibly be, but like not really going after it, because if you don't go after what you want, then how the hell are you gonna win it? So the self-limiting beliefs and the thoughts that okay, there are better uh speakers, better people, good looking people, smarter people, kinder people. Everyone's so much better and then with a man, but a man all those thoughts kind of keep keep you limited, keep you somehow very, very restricted. Your uniqueness is something that makes a difference.

SPEAKER_00: 39:34

Yeah, and that is good. I've identified 71 of these limitations, and my and I'm still finding out new ones. Most of them I had myself, and I removed them at myself, and I would say most people have most of these limitations. And again, it's not your fault, it's the way the society. Is organized to make you into this obedient, conformistic person. And respond to what you just said about yourself, thanks for sharing. But the main thing what you were doing is comparing with other people. And comparing with other people makes you feel lousy, makes you feel terrible, and makes you feel never good enough because there's always someone looking better, always someone performing better, always something to have better better results, all these things. That's why I say the main well, one of my main messages is unleash and use your uniqueness. Because if you really, really realize that you, Deep Pali, you, Arnold, you who are listening to the show, you are unique. So it's completely useless to compare yourself with because there's nobody in this world with your knowledge, with your experience, even with your DNA, with your beliefs, with everything else. So why should you compare yourself? That is, like I said, this is comparing a dog with a cat. It's comparing an apple with an orange or with a brick. And so it's like it's completely useless. And you you deny, by doing that, you deny your uniqueness. So what you should do is unleash. That is what I call the unconditioning, is remove all these false beliefs and everything else, and use your uniqueness. That is what I call up vibing. It's like be enthusiastic and using your talents, your capabilities, what you can do, not what you can't do, but what you can do. And then you can grow, and and that's why I say you have unlimited potential.

SPEAKER_01: 41:50

Yeah, thank you. And I just thought I will, I'm sure, walk out of this recording just feeling so inspired. This is not best recording for Buddha, so thanks so much for sharing that. And it's an inducing real uniqueness. And remember, you what you said, it kind of reminds me of the one and full human trillion like you being wrong about one and full hundred trillion now. If that doesn't make site you and then's a really important number to dimension. Which is such a profound shift in in thinking, right? Fitting in to flying out. So uh tell us about working. Tell us about sorts of programs that you run that can help people. And yeah, this how can everybody connect with you if they want? And I'm gonna put everything in the show notes down below.

SPEAKER_00: 42:52

Yes, my my main thing is the website, it's called braingym.fitness. There they can find my uh main training program, which is indeed called From Fitting In to Flying Out, which is a 15-week training program where we have one 90-minute live session uh uh with a group. Yeah, it's it's in a group and it's online, so as long as you speak English, uh we can have the session, and I share the steps which you can take to towards uh using and unleashing and using your uniqueness. We also have some masterclasses which are videos around specific topics where it's like I I I I I work with my colleague and I use him like the the person who I'm coaching, and it's about specific topics like your uniqueness, dealing with your emotions, forming habits, uh, aging. Uh so those are a couple of different topics where you can find these 90-minute uh masterclasses, and I have some books. Uh I I I have my recently new book, which is called The Adventures of Dr. Alfred Moore, which is a tale. You know what I'm doing, I call it I I provide tools and tales for transformation, and this transformation of this doctor is like a traditional heart specialist doctor who becomes a social entrepreneur and realizes that well not only that the healthcare system is really a sick care system and that they see people as mechanical parts in a machine, which is totally wrong. So he changes his whole life by really helping people with their problems. So that is that book about you can find that on my website. And if you still have any question, there's a link to my calendar and you want to talk with me, uh you can book a meeting with amazing.

SPEAKER_01: 44:57

Thank you so much. Thanks for um sharing your uh wisdom with us today. I really, really enjoyed this conversation. I don't know where did the entire time go. It was just amazing. So for our listening audience, if today stirred something uncomfortable, or if this episode was a reminder of something that you've been trying to avoid, that restlessness, that quiet knowing, maybe that's not fear, maybe it is your free one working on. Once again, Arnul, thank you so much for being here.

SPEAKER_00: 45:28

Thank you as well.

SPEAKER_01: 45:30

And for everyone listening, remember that you'll never, never meant to fit into a world that profits from your side. Until next time, keep questioning, keep choosing, and stop fitting in and please start lying out. I will see you in the next episode now. Bye bye.