Ep. 15 - Hottest Babe in Real Estate with Lily Ross

People love to say “pretty privilege” like it explains everything, but they rarely talk about the pressure that comes with being seen. Jessica sits down with Lily, an award-winning realtor, for an honest conversation about visibility, confidence, and what it costs to show up polished when your mind is tired. We get into the quiet moments behind the highlight reel: being “on” 24/7, carrying clients’ emotions, and the way judgment can chip at your credibility before you ever open your mouth. 

We also talk about the double-edged sword of appearance in business, especially in smaller communities where assumptions spread fast. Lily shares what people often get wrong about her, how imposter syndrome can grow from repeated comments, and why shrinking yourself to make others comfortable is a losing game. If you’ve ever been underestimated, labeled shallow, or treated like your success must be “handed” to you, you’ll hear yourself in this. 

Then we get practical. We cover boundaries that actually work, how to stop a negative spiral, and why safety protocols in real estate matter more than any commission. We also dig into a big question: how do you separate your worth from your production when the market shifts and the numbers don’t cooperate? You’ll leave with a clearer mindset around worthiness, value, rest, and building a life that’s bigger than your job title. 

If this resonates, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a review so more people can find these conversations. What’s one boundary you’re setting to protect your mental health?

If you are in a crisis or feel unsafe, call or text 988 or dial 911 for immediate support. There are people out there who will listen and can help.

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Transcript

Visibility And The Pressure To Be Seen

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hi, I'm Jessica G, and this is the Justin Time Podcast. If you're struggling today, I want you to know this podcast is here for you, but it's not a substitute for professional help. If you're in a crisis or feel unsafe, please call or text 988 or dial in 911 for immediate support. There are people out there who will listen and can help. On this show, I'll be sharing personal experiences, mindset shifts, talking with key experts, and sharing real tools that help me go from barely surviving to thriving. This is not about quick fixes or one size fits all advice. It's raw, it's honest, it's what worked for me and what I believe can help others too. Let's walk together from darkness to hope. All right. Hello, hello, everybody. Welcome back to Justin Time to Save Alive podcast. We are so excited to have Lily DeGerio here. DeGuerio here. I call her DeGerio, and she it's really pronounced Degario. So it's a mystery. It's a mystery. It's actually Ross. It's actually Ross now. No, it's Ross. Yes. But, anyways, we're so excited to have you here. The name of our podcast is called Hottest Babe in Real Estate. And before anyone makes any assumptions, let me just tell you what it's really about. This is about visibility, confidence, presence, and the pressure that comes with being seen. Lily, thank you so much for being vulnerable, talking about your mental health on this show and being here today. Ah, I can't wait. Jessica, thanks for having me on. Lily and I met at the salon like five years ago. Five years. Yeah. And she walked in and she was wearing a shirt. I'll never forget it. We tell the story all the time. All the time. Like I feel like every time you have clients in the salon, we're like telling the story to everybody. Because we're so literally happy that we met. It was like love with each other. It's like our souls like recognize each other when she walked in. No. No competition, no comparison, just pure connection. Yeah. That's what I just loved about you from day one. No. And her shirt said babes empower babes. And I was like, oh my gosh, yes. And really, it wasn't just obviously undeniably beautiful. It wasn't that. It was just about your energy and your presence and your like genuity.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

Oh.

Realtors And The Mask Of Being On

Boundaries That Protect Your Life

Burnout And The Beauty Of Time

Judged For Looks And Credibility

Safety Rules For Showings

Worth Versus Production And Identity

Mental Health Tools And Travel

How To Handle Shade And Close

SPEAKER_00 2:21

I made that word up. And I just I roll with it. But it's genuine and authentic. It's called genuity. Genuity. I have to say I actually don't know if I made if I made that word up. So don't quote me there. I actually think that's a real word. Okay, it might be a real word. But I have to say, like, I'll never forget whenever I first came into the slot. And I remember seeing you on social media. That's how I found you was through social media. And I remember thinking, like, you were so beautiful. And in my head, I just assumed like you probably like had filters up. And I remember, I will never forget the first time I saw you, like drop dead, gorgeous. Same thing, so kind, so beautiful, so welcoming, like made me feel right at home. We had this conversation. Like I had never really had that off the bat, like that. Like, yeah. It felt like it just felt like a true, genuine friendship right off the bat. And I'm so thankful to you for that. It was connection. And it stayed that way through five years. Yeah. You know? And that's something beautiful. And I think, you know, one of the biggest things that we can relate is like when you see another beautiful woman out there and she's doing her thing and you're rooting for her genuinely, you feel that it hits different. Yeah, you know. And I don't know if it's because of Arkansas, you know, being more in a smaller environment or what it is, but sometimes, you know, it can be a double-edged sword being as beautiful as you are, you know. Um, I remember in high school, people we we had talked about this. There's just so many similarities and experiences that we both had. It was like someone came up to me and they were just like, I thought you were like totally snobby before. And then I met you and you're actually really cool. And that just goes to show, and you, you know, I know you mentioned that you've had that said to you so many times, and you're just like, man, I'm actually just like a really cool nerd. Yeah. No, no, like you couldn't have said it more perfectly. You're a really cool nerd. Yes, you're a really cool nerd. Yeah. And and you know, when you're growing up, when you're in high school, when you're in college and you're trying to figure out who you are. And just because you're beautiful doesn't mean that you don't struggle, struggle like mentally with other things as well, or or just like somebody else, you know, because people think, oh, she must have had that hand into her, or she didn't have to work for that, or oh, must be good being beautiful. And it's like, it's like, yes, I get that there's pretty privilege, like, don't get me wrong. You know, that's how I got in all those clubs in Vegas, but but honestly, like it can be a double-edged sword. And um, I think in smaller environments that that can happen. Um, so one of my first questions for you was what mental health uh struggles do realtors face that people would never expect? Yeah. So I think there's a couple. Well, there's a multitude. I'm gonna kind of hone in on a couple. So, number one, in real estate, I feel like you have to be on all the time. Like it doesn't feel like I'm ever really able to take a break. And I think a lot of that is because we're so accessible. Like, yeah, our my phone is on me 24-7. People know that. Um, and it feels like sometimes I have to kind of wear this mask and present to people this like super positive, energetic person all the time, which I am in nature. Um, but it can become a lot and it can almost like bleed into maybe a little bit of an imposter syndrome or something. Um, so I would say that's a really, really big one is just navigating through being just constantly on. I I feel that way in like in the salon, you know, because you don't want like somebody to come in and like you're not really allowed to have a bad day, or you're not allowed to have that kind of, you know, yeah, maybe you just don't have as much energy or your social meter is not, you know, when you're meeting new clients for the very first time. Absolutely. So, and then I would also say just which I have to say, this is also one of my like true favorite parts about my job. Yeah, but the emotional absorption that I take on from my clients. So, like whatever they're feeling, whether it's well, they're making the biggest purchase of their life, right? With you and, you know, they're having babies, they're getting divorced, they're like downsizing, they're moving their parents into retirement. So they're having a self-like, yeah, there's so many different emotional traumas, if you will, positive or negative. Yeah. No, but there's so much emotional, there's such an emotional aspect that goes into it. And so a lot of times I feel like I'm just take that home with you sometimes. I'm like a sponge. Yeah. Um, and so that's something that I've really had to work on where yes, I'm still very empathetic and I want to feel these things with my clients, but also learning that there's a lot of times there are things that are just out of my control. Yeah. So I'm here to be a sounding board for them. I'm here to keep them on track with their goals whenever it comes to real estate, but I cannot be responsible for all of the emotional fortitude that they're going through. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you said it. I mean, I I'm behind the chair. So I I know exactly. Yeah. Oh, I'm sure. Exactly. Yeah. Um, so what boundaries uh do you have now that you didn't have early on? Yeah. What's how how has that shaped you? Yeah. So boundaries were really, really hard for me to star, I will say. Like it's something I'm still working on every single day because you're kind of ginny on the spot when people want to go see a house on the weekend, they only have a certain amount of time. Yeah. I mean, I my um real estate consumes your life. It no, it does. Yeah. You have to be obsessed with it. And I think that's why I'm six, I've been successful, is because I'm like so obsessed with it. Yeah. Sometimes that can be a little bit toxic in a way. Yeah, a little toxic obsession obsession sometimes. Um, but no, I I'm just really good about communicating with my clients, my my quote unquote hours, like not that I have hours, but I mean, we were talking about this last night. I go to bed at 9 p.m. Yeah. So like I told my clients, you can text me after 9 p.m. I'm not, I'm probably not gonna respond. Not because I don't love you and I don't wanna, you know, answer you or just ignore you, but I'm like actually asleep. Yeah. Um, so of course, if there's like an emergency or we're negotiating an offer and I use stay up late, of course. But of course, um, there's always exceptions, of course. But I am just really, really good about communicating that and then catching myself if I do get into a little bit of like a negative spiral, whether that be I'm having a slow month or we have a deal going south due to something that's out of my control, I feel like I just have tried to catch myself in those negative thoughts um and pull myself out of it. Yeah. To just stop myself from spiraling, whether that's taking a walk, going to work out, literally like cuddling my dog. I don't know. Yeah. Um, baking, you know, just taking a mental break from all of that. Yes. And reminding myself that like it's gonna be fine. And five in five days from now, I'm probably not even gonna be thinking about this. Right. Yeah, right. Um, have there been moments where it's felt overwhelming and isolating? Yes. Um, I think it's ironic because in real estate we're with people all day, every day, like talking to people. So you would think I wouldn't feel isolated, but I have actually felt very isolated in real estate. Um, not because I don't have great relationships, but going back to just being on all the time, I feel like sometimes it's hard for my friends or family to maybe understand the workload that you the workload that I take on. And so I think that yeah, like if I've had a really crazy week of real estate, I kind of just want to be by myself on the weekends, and that can feel a little bit isolating. It can feel but it's kind of something you do probably to protect your mental health because your social meter is like, I think I even messaged you last night or something, and I was like, oh my gosh, you know, I you know, I love you. And I'm like, I want to give you all the yeah, all the feedback and all the things and talk about all the things, but I think it's okay to say, Hey, my social meter is so low. Let me let let's pick this up tomorrow. And I think that goes back to boundaries, yeah, too. Exactly. Like being okay to say no to things. Yes, and that's taking it. I think the phone thing is so cool and so important. Oh, yeah, and I leave my computer in the car too. Like whenever I get home, that computer stays in the car. Once again, there are always exceptions. Of course, of course, but um, but that computer stays in the car. But no, it really does. Like I just say no to a lot more things now, which can make me feel isolated, but also protecting my space. Yeah. Um, if you could talk to a new agent or a seasoned one who's burnt out, what would you tell them? Burnout is such a big thing. I think, especially whenever you work for yourself, your commission only. There's so many different obstacles and things that you just can't control. Um, my biggest advice, and this gets gets like a little bit poetic. And this is coming from somebody who not only is an award-winning realtor in this area, but also is um managing a team now. How many people do you have in your team? So I only had two right now and did exactly what I want. I will be, I'm gonna put my glasses down before I like put somebody expanding. Yeah, yeah, definitely expanding. I'm restructuring some things, um, building in some better systems and processes. Yeah, this was like my first go at really managing other people and myself and how I was gonna, I'm a really big people pleaser. Yep. Um, and so I needed to kind of sit and restructure some things. So yeah, I will be expanding soon. Um, but for now I just have two and they're both phenomenal people. I love them both. Yeah. Um, but back to burnout, yes, and advice that I would give new agents or just people that are struggling. It's honestly like a simple saying that I say to myself, I I coined it if I must say. The beauty of time is that it does not stop ever. And so in times of burnout or self-doubt or wallowing in my thoughts or self-pity, whatever you want to say, I just remind myself that no matter what, time is gonna pass. So, where do I want to be? Who do I want to be six months from now, a week from now, a year from now, and so on. And I just I continually go back to that because I don't want to be the same me, the same negative, whatever word you want to use, me in six months. I want to be better. Like I want to grow, I want to work on myself. In a lot of these, just like life, real estate, everything is cyclical. Yeah. There's always hard times, there's always good times. Yeah, there's negative times positive times, etc. Yeah. And so just remembering that, like, if I'm going through a hard time, that can only mean that good times are coming. Right. And so I just focus on that. Like I just stay forward-based. And I I really love that mindset. And, you know, I've, you know, heard about some of your struggles and whatnot. And even just um, you know, talking about um beauty, you know, beauty can open doors, it can create resistance, uh, jealousy, misjudgment, people assume you didn't earn it, you're not serious, that you don't struggle. I never heard that. Exactly. And you're, you know, sitting here today being so vulnerable and open and saying, hey, yes, I'm beautiful, yes, I'm successful. Um, and yes, I have been judged. And I I have been um, you know, projected onto or have triggered other people that are insecure. And you've received that feedback and you continue to just close that door and keep and keep going, you know? Yeah. And I don't know if it's like the environment here in Arkansas or or what it is, and I think it happens all over the world. Um, but have you can you talk about like how you've felt judged or underestimated uh because of how you looked? Yeah. So I I really think it has caused me in some situations, especially whenever I first got into real estate, yeah, to lose credibility. Like just like you were saying, like I think people just assumed I was getting handed things because I was pretty or just lucky. Yeah. Um, and let me like preface. I don't think I'm like Kim Kardashian, Kim Kardashian or anything, but I do. But I think that people find it intimidating whenever someone cares about their appearance and wants to put effort into their appearance. And I I honestly, Lily, like I don't even know if yes, yes, you're like stunning and beautiful, but it it it almost it's not even just just about that, right? Because like we've worked on ourselves, right? Like yeah, we were not born with confidence. Like confidence is earned. Like we built that over and over and over the years. And that that's something I know that both you and I have like worked so strongly on. But it's honestly what's inside. It's honestly the energy, it's honestly the beauty that just shines from within. And then you add on top of it the most gorgeous girl on the outside as well. That does that can make other people feel like, you know, uncomfortable and whatnot. Yeah, I feel like until they get to know us, like I feel like I really struggled with that for a long time. And so I almost like doled myself down. Yeah. You like, yeah. I would dole myself down to make other people feel comfortable. To kind of like fit this mold. And luckily, I'm surrounded by some really amazing friends and people that have not, like even you, like that have since empowered me to just like be seen. Be seen a hundred percent. That's okay. Yes, to be seen. Because be who you actually are, yes, not shrink to make somebody else feel comfortable. Yes, yeah, because you're really a role model to all of the other people that you know are in your uh company or in your industry. I think a lot of people actually look up to you because I'm sorry, but it takes a lot to put yourself out there, you know what I mean? And it's easy somebody behind a keyboard or somebody whispering to somebody else and uh creating rumors and stuff. Like it, that's that's stuff's for the birds, you know? And it it it takes it takes courage to put yourself out there and know that you're gonna be judged and walk into that room and quiet all the other noises. And whoever loves you, loves you, and who doesn't, that's on them. Yeah, you know, absolutely. I just like don't even waste my time with it. And that's what I loved about you when you walked in. I was like, oh my gosh, I love that you don't shrink. Oh like that's what I saw. At that point, that's so like ironic to you because at that point in my life, like I felt like I was struggling with it. I was really struggling. I feel like you were struggling, struggling with it, like you were dealing with it, but you were handling it. Like, like, let's just say, yes, you were struggling with it mentally, and now you've really like pressed through that and you're on the other side. But for for people that are like trying to feel good about themselves and um put themselves out there, like don't listen to the negative talk, don't listen to the naysayers. Somebody that's gonna say something negative to you, it like they're not doing better. It's a reflection of the how they feel about themselves. And it's a reflection of it. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. I was in real estate actually for like a very short time, for like a year, like I don't know, several years back. So I know a little bit about real estate and what it takes and the emotional weight. And I had a broker straight up tell me on a way to closing, she looks over at me and she was like, you know, if you focus more on your inner beauty, you might be more successful than your outer beauty, you might be more successful. And I was like, or it was a final walkthrough, not a closing, it was a final walkthrough, then the closing. And I was actually driving. And I was like driving, and I was like trying to think of like something to say. And I know you've like heard you probably have heard this like so many times in your life, or little digs or little comments like that, right? Yeah, and I was thinking in my head, I was like, I'm not gonna let this bingity lady put me down today. Yeah. So I calmly look over at her and I say her name, which I'm not saying. No name. And I'm driving, because I'm driving. And I say, that's funny you should say that because my outer beauty is actually a reflection of my inner beauty. And that's just it. And she was like, Oh, I never thought of it that way, which is so wild to me. But I think that people that are negative or just I mean, it's we're all like insecure in some right, but not to the point that I'm gonna try to put somebody else down. But I think that those people that want that to make themselves feel better, they can't see the inside. Yeah, they can't see, like they can't believe that like you're actually a very deep, yeah, passionate, empathetic person. Yeah, because they're so blinded by their own negative insecure and insecurities. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that, you know, that is that can be hard. And especially like if you add, because I remember, you know, after losing my dad and my brother, you know, and then having to deal with kind of that too, because I wasn't at the point where I had fully like pushed through and could just like be me and like walk into a room and not worry about what people were thinking or whatnot, because I had been put down so much, or little comments or little digs have been made throughout my life, you know? And um, what do you think people get wrong about you? I okay, and I also will say I have like a part to blame in this. Okay, it's like I think so funny. I think people think that I'm really shallow. I think they probably think I'm a B-word. Um, I think that they think I've had everything handed to me. I think they think I come from all this money, which is like could not be further from the truth. Some people, yeah. Some people, yeah. Yeah, not everybody. But I will say, like, I do think because of that, because people have had that upfront perception, it's caused me to be like a little bit standoffish at first. Yeah. Um, and so I think it takes me a really, really long time to, we were talking about this too. Like, it takes me a really long time to like fully let down the walls. Yes. Um, and trust people. So that's something I'm actively working on. I do, I think, no, but I think I'm I think also people think I'm dumb. Well, no, I'm I'm so glad that you say that. I'm also afraid to sound dumb. Like I was afraid to come on this podcast, like the very first one. I was like, I just don't want to sound dumb. I don't want to say the wrong thing. You know, we still have those thoughts. We're, you know. And have you ever felt judged or underestimated because of how you look? Yes. I for sure. Like, I think that it's caused me to lose credibility in a lot of situations, especially whenever I first started, and I didn't have a name that I had built or reputation, or people didn't know me. But I think people assumed that I was just another pretty face. Yeah. Um, didn't really have like any sort of business smart. And I would say in the most humble way, like that couldn't be further from the truth. Yeah. I actually feel like if anything, I was like really, really smart growing up. Like I had the straight A's, I had the 4.0, I would not miss a day of school. My parents would be like, please, like, you can skip school today. It's fine. I wouldn't do it. Yeah. Um, and I feel like as I've gotten older, that's where I've really grown into myself. But I people don't see that. They just see what they see today, and they're like, oh, she must have had all of this handed to her. You know, and that's what reminded me. So yeah, I feel like, and I don't know if you feel this way, but I felt like when I was younger, I never felt like I was like the prettiest girl or that I was super cute, or I always thought like everybody else was a lot cuter than me. And that I remember like being bullied. Yeah. Um, because one of my first suicide attempts was when I was being bullied. I had just moved from California to Arkansas. I was a cheerleader. Um, and apparently I was super cute, but I didn't wear Abercrombie and Fitch. I wore vans, packs on, you know, different kinds of things. And like that wasn't cool here. But I remember like thinking back, like, why aren't they nice to me? Like, what, you know, what I don't, I don't get it. I didn't understand jealousy. Yeah. And like, I'm in the perfect industry because, like, you know, I make beautiful, I make women beautiful every single day. Like, I want to make them the most beautiful. I want to do their hair and their makeup and do the outfits and all of that kind of stuff. Like, I'm always like, yes, you go, girl. Like, I want to make you look the best that you can. Never in my mind did I have this thing where I wanted to like compare myself with other people. I just, it wasn't built in me. Like, I truly am built for what I do in my work. And I think like, like, did like I don't think we grew up thinking we were the most beautiful people. I think Oh gosh, no. I was so well, and I actually like I actually think that you probably were. I was incredibly awkward in like, oh my God. Like, I really no, I was no, like I was weird. No, you weren't. Yes, I don't believe it. In like the best way, like in like a unique, like fun way. Yeah, but like the point is like we didn't like think that we were like all this in a bag of potato chips. Now we know we are, yeah. But right, I mean for real. It's taken me a while, but it's not just because of how we look, it's it's how hard we have worked on ourselves, on our integrity, on who we are, on our craft, on our business, like all of the all of the education that we've had, the continuing education, and just the constant um detail to attention and the care that we have. And I think that's what really sets us apart. So it's like the full package. Yeah. And I feel like like that's what we really want to get across on this episode, is not that like we're just hot. Like that's not it. Like, if you that's what you think this episode's about, you've missed it. Yeah, I feel beautiful because of who I am on the inside, and that has taken me a long time to get to. I'm just yeah, and this isn't like, yeah, this isn't about ego. This is about like explaining, you know, our personal struggles, your personal struggles, yeah, let alone just being a beautiful woman in real estate, yeah, but also being successful. You know, there's always going to be somebody that's going to try to tear you down or push you down, and you just know those aren't the right people. But don't let that get in your head. And when somebody's struggling mentally, when somebody says those comments, like that can really hurt somebody. So having the awareness, and that's why I'm like really glad that you came on the show to talk about that, because you know, most people won't, they don't want to talk about it. They just, you I mean, how many times have you suffered in silence over it? You know, gosh, yeah, but it's a real thing. That's like really where I feel like a lot of imposter syndrome has come from. Um, it's due to me being a perfectionist, but it's also due to I've just constantly over the past, specifically speaking about real estate, over the past five and a half years, I've heard that I'm only successful because of either my husband or because I came from money, which once again is not true, or because I'm pretty. And if it like, if it wasn't one thing, it would be another. And so whenever you hear that, all the time it's really hard to not let it bleed into how you feel about yourself, you know. So I have to catch myself. I think, and the older we get, the wiser we get when we do hear those comments because we we learn it. It's when we're younger, yeah, you know, and we're still figuring out who we are. Yeah. And we're, you know, in the beginning of our career. And I think that is the hardest part, you know. After you've kind of done it for a little while, you start gaining more confidence and understanding. And it's easier now. But for those that are just starting out and, you know, you're trying to pick up that cute outfit and somebody says something to you or whatever it is, it's like, you know what? Just ignore all the naysayers and just do you, you know, and I mean, just be kind. Yeah, there's no reason to put somebody down just because they're cute and they dress up. And like, you know, the other thing we were gonna talk about, like, do you feel like this has hurt you professionally in Arkansas? It's really hard to say. Um, I'm sure that it has in some ways, but no, not to the point to where I feel like I've really noticed it or felt it. And if somebody doesn't want to work with me because of how I look, or maybe they don't like that I wear heels to show ins or that I'm a full face to makeup on, then like they're probably just like not a good fit for me. And I think that's fine. That's just business. Yeah. Um, used to it probably would have hurt my feelings, and now I'm like, no worries. Yeah. Um, so I mean, I I know that's not like a great answer to that question, but no, I haven't felt it to the point to where I feel like it's like yeah impacted my career. Yeah. But I also don't think I've really paid much mind. Yeah. I would say like there's probably like a lot of guys. If like if I was a guy, I would be like, oh, I want Lily to Can we play horse? Can we like horror music? I will say and actually actually I'm just sorry. I'm sorry, I shouldn't ask that question. But I'm just thinking, like, I can only imagine like how many guys would probably reach out and be like, I want to buy a house. And you're probably like, send your pre-approval letter. No, literally, so I don't actually don't get it too much now, which is ironic because I think I'm I think I'm I'm more attractive now than what I was whenever I started. But no, I would. I would get a lot of like really freaky messages and just like men wanting to work with me, or because they clearly had an ulterior motive. And I just like I do not put up with that shit. Yeah. I do not put up with that. So if you if you lost business through that, you're okay. I do not care. I will, I would rather never and for every beautiful um woman that's out there in real estate, and even man, you know, this is a risk doing showings. And I know you guys go over safety protocols, and there's you know, I know that you have major safety protocols in place for that. Safety is so important in this industry. Yeah. Um, especially as a woman in real estate, you're meeting random people out at vacant houses or way out in BFE all the time. And so, yes, I always, if I'm meeting, like if somebody reaches out to me and they're like, hey, I want to buy a house and I don't know them, they have to send me a picture of their ID. Um, I'm definitely background checking them because we have an app for that. Yep. Um, I'm meeting them in a public place first. We're gonna go through a buyer consultation and they're gonna be required to get a pre-qualification letter from a lender. So they have to be really serious. And as you can see, my like aggression is coming out a little bit. Because I don't play about safety. Yeah, I do not play about safety. I'm not gonna risk my life or anyone else's. So that's a really, really big one. Yeah. No amount of money is worth it. Nope. That's right. So, well, um, a couple other things I think we were talking about was worth, worthiness. Yeah. So one of my questions is how do you separate your worth from your production? We were talking about worthiness and value. I love this conversation that we had the other day. So we do too. And you guys, like Jessica is just I loved your response. I like hope that you share it. Oh. We talked through this. Yes. Um, I'm sure that you all. Um, I this is something I'm still trying to figure out. Like, let me be like really transparent and vulnerable. I am still figuring this out. I thought that I had it figured out. 2024, I was like, I've got it figured out. I do not tie my worth to my numbers. Yeah. 2025 came and said, you thought. So 2025 started off as a really, really good year. And it's still to date is my best year that I've had. However, 2025 was a very weird year in real estate. Things were sitting longer, things weren't selling. I mean, I had houses sit on the market for longer than I could have imagined. Yeah. Um, and it got super weird and I got so down on myself. Yeah. And I mean, I just remember thinking like, I'm clearly not good at this. This isn't right for me. Like, I need to look at other options, not even from a financial standpoint, but from the standpoint of like, I stuck at this. Yeah. Like that was the mindset I was in. And I don't think people would think that about me. Right. Because I'm come across as very confident and I've got like my shit figured out and whatnot. But I mean, it was, it got really hard, I would say, July through October. Well, and I think that's one of the things in your industry is that there's so many highs and there's so many lows in the market. Yeah. And you just don't know which way the wind's gonna blow sometimes. No, I mean, it felt like the water had shut off. Like it felt I couldn't have predicted it to happen the way I thought I was gonna have my best year. And I'm like, my goal this past year was 40 million. I hit 35. Well, 34 and some change. Because people are gonna fact check me on that. Um, so I mean, I was off from my goal. Yeah, still did a great volume, but I was very off from what I appreciated. Well, and that brings up to me. It's like this is kind of the conversation we have is like we're worthy no matter what, right? And I was an overachiever, like I was I've I've also been a people pleaser. Like, of course, like I'm in a service industry, right? Like, I want you to be so happy with your hair. Like, if you're not pleased with your hair, like I'm gonna fix it, right? Yeah. That's a service. But it's like I we're the type of people we just go above and beyond. Yeah. When something's not right, we'll find the answer or we'll fix it. And then when we can't, when it's just out of our control, you know, because there's situations where it's just completely out of our control. It's so important in our in no matter what industry you're in, you know, no matter what industry, to not tie um, you know, your self-worth and your identity to your numbers and to your success. You're worthy no matter what. You're worthy if you sit on the couch and you're eating potato chips. Now, the value you bring to the world is going to be very different. And I think that's where we kind of like shifted our mindset. And we're like, oh, I really like that. It's because it's like, okay, how much value are you bringing to the world if you're gonna sit on the couch and eat potato chips? Not much. You're probably wasting your God-given talent and all the gifts that you have, but those potato chips may be good. I don't know. The potato chip company will be happy. Yeah, exactly. Um, anyways, so but the value you bring to the world. And I think I think when you bring value to the world, that's actually what makes you shine. That's actually what makes you feel good about yourself because you're bringing value to your neighbors, you're bringing value to you to your community, you're bringing value to your family, every single person that you come into contact with, you're adding value to their lives, you know, and you're doing that through real estate, but you're not, you know, solely like identifying your and tying everything. Your identity isn't just in real estate. And I can say I did the same thing with the salon. Like, I was like, I'm a hairstylist, I'm a salon owner, I'm this, I'm that. And I'm like, no, like we're so much more than that. That is what we do. So I think it's really important because I think, you know, when we talk about suicide prevention and mental health and education, things like that. Um, um, you know, when older white men, super high uh statistic to uh losing their life uh by suicide, um, when they lose their job or this or that, so much of their identity is tied into that. That's why they're in that higher bracket. And so it's really important that we don't tie our worthiness to our job and our numbers. Yeah. Because if all that goes away, yeah, then we have to find well, even for me, like I was, I almost felt lost. I was like, what am I supposed to do? Like, I don't have anything to do. Like, my sole purpose, if you will, is to work in some of these houses. And so obviously I'm being a little bit dramatic and saying that, but that's honestly how I felt in the moment. I was like, this is all I have. And it was such, I'm honestly so grateful for it now looking back because I'm like, it was such a wake-up call for me to say, what do I like to do? Yeah. What hobbies do I want to take on? What friendships can I pour into? Yeah. What family member can I reach out to that I don't talk to enough? Like it there's more to life than just working. There's more to life than working. And you said it the other day. You were like, you know what? When there's those downtimes, I think that's just God's way of saying that I need to focus on other areas of my life. Absolutely. And so that's what I did. I just tried to shift and I was like, what other? Because I'm very goals oriented. So I was like, what other goals can I set for myself, whether it's cooking or or fitness or whatever it is. And then yeah, like just kind of sitting in those moments of stillness and saying, like, God, what do you want me to do with this? Yeah. And this leads me to my next question. Um, how do you personally protect your mental health in this industry? Oh, I heard a lot of vacations. A lot of vacations. We we also bond on vacation. I feel like, listen, listen, I work hard and then I go on vacation. I feel like if you live and play work hard, play hard. Yes. I feel like if you live in Arkansas, you've got to get out of Arkansas. Like Arkansas, Northwest Arkansas is a great place to live. Yeah. Um, and if you're in the market to buy a house, we've got Lily right here. What's your Instagram handle, Lily? Uh, listings with Lily, listings with Lily. Yeah, yeah, reading the bell. And then Lily DeGero, DeGuerio on um Facebook. DeGerio. DeGerio, DeGiorno.

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DeGiorno.

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That's what they said. DeGerio sounds like a cherry. So I always say DeGerio. Pick me, pick me. Exactly. But it's really Degario, but she doesn't even say Deguerio. It's well, it is Degario, but I say Degero for marketing purposes. So people can pronounce it. Just say Ross, because that's also true. Lily Ross. That's much easier. It is. It's it's very, it's much easier. But I still like Digerio. It sounds like a cherry. No, but thing things I do to kind of protect my mental health is is yes, I do love vacation. I do love it. And you don't have to spend$20,000 to have a good trip. You can go to Tulsa for the weekend, go to Kans City. Like personally, I love a tropical climate, but yeah, there's so many things to do and experience. And it's not just that I want to go sit on a beach and drink. It's honestly getting to experience like other cultures, other cuisine, other people. Yeah. I love it. I love it. That's how I told my husband. I was like, listen, I'll marry you because he's an Arkansas boy. Like Arkansas. Yeah, Arkansas. Arkansas. And I was like, okay, on one condition. It was in the vows, it was in everything. I was like, you have to travel. Like, I need to go like experience places. And if you can't go, I'm going with Lily. Yeah, that's right. Where I'm going. It's gonna be a girl's trip. Like, I'm out of here. Yeah. So yeah. But that's in really big for me. And then once again, just trying to divert my free time into other things that pour back into me as a person. Yeah. Has been really big. And once again, I'm just not learning that. I just honestly learned that within the past six months. And I think that, like, you know, this episode is fun and kind of lighthearted, but it also like just goes to show that, like, I mean, where I was at, like, 10 years ago, um, even 20 years ago, because you know, I struggled with suicide ideation for 20 years. And now, like looking at me and like talking about some of your mental health struggles and the things that were hard on you, and everyone, you know, um, needs to keep their mental health up to date and like, you know, check on it and like make sure that you're doing okay mentally, because it can lead to um, you know, depression, severe depression when depression can lead uh lead to other other things. And that's why we talk about true suicide prevention. It's all, it's just it's really all about mental health. Yes, what just in time to save a life is, right? Because prevention starts way over here, you know. So like taking those vacations, setting those boundaries, yeah, shutting your phone off at 9 p.m. I think we both call ourselves grandma sometimes. Grandmas. Yeah, I mean I'm six and a half months pregnant and I'm going to bed at like eight, eight thirty. Because I'm like, I think I need nine hours of sleep. I'm in bed at eight asleep by nine for sure. Yes. Yes, I love it. Don't play with me on my sleep. No, I'm not pregnant. I'm I'm really nervous when the baby comes. Like, how am I gonna do this? You're gonna make it. Oh my goodness. I'll come over. I'll be your night nanny. You're gonna my nanny. No, you won't. No, you won't. We don't want Lily off her sleep. And we don't. I'd be the worst person. You can take a day shift. Okay, but anyways, I hope that you guys learned a lot um on this episode. And it was really more just like about opening up and being vulnerable with you. And like, look, we all struggle and um be nice to pretty people. Like stop throwing, stop throwing shade uh at people that are working really hard or just because they're walk through the door and then be beautiful, because that also like we all have, you know, an impact on our mental health. But I think one of the things like for me 2026 is like, how are you affecting other people's mental health? For sure. Right. And I don't think I think that's a question that goes so unchecked, you know? And like I just I want to be like turn to your neighbor, turn to your partner, turn to your friend and be like, how are you affecting other people's mental health? Yeah, you know, and truly go inside and like think about that, yeah, you know. Um, do you have any like advice that you want to give new realtors or um any last don't be afraid to do you? I think I was like we said, like I think I really did kind of dole my light. So don't be afraid to be a little bit extra. Yeah. And let's just say, like when somebody like when you walk into a room and somebody looks you up and down or gives you a dig or says a comment, how should you handle this? I give them a compliment. Okay. I do. I like that's a really big thing for me that if I'm ever feeling animosity or judgment, and it could be because of how I look or my outfit, but it could also just be because of how they for whatever reason that's just how they are. I love to give them a compliment. Yeah, it's not always a personal, it's usually that, but when you are pretty, it does trigger people sometimes. It does. Yeah, it can immediately be like, don't go, I don't want you to run my hands. I love to give yes, you know, no, and you're like, girl, I don't want you're gonna. No, no, no, no, no, no. And you just have you seen mine. Like, for real, I'll have you seen mine. No. Like, I'm good. I won a lottery. Um, no, but I love to give them a compliment. And then, same thing if if I'm ever feeling insecure, or like, yeah, for example, I'm around somebody that not because they make me feel insecure, but because they're so beautiful, maybe I start to compare. Yeah, then I also give them a compliment. And it's like it'll snap you out of it. Yeah, yeah. Because once again, it's like whenever you give out positive energy, I feel like you almost always get it back. Yeah. And if you don't, who cares? So what they can like go wallow in their own misery type of thing. But like I'm gonna continue to do so. If you get a compliment from Lily, if you're looking her up and down, you get a compliment, you all know where you're at. Only posit, kill them with kindness. Like, yeah, kill them with kindness. Yeah. Sometimes it's hard though to like walk into a room and then stay there, you know? Yes. And I do think there is something because it can be a heavy feeling. Yeah, I do think there's something to like if you need to remove yourself, remove yourself. Yeah, you know, um, do what's right for your mental health. Do what's right for your health. If it's too much, it's too much, and you can go back and like do it again. Yeah, you know. So I loved this. I know, I did too. Thank you guys so much for um joining us on the Justin Time podcast. Um, if you'd like more information about just in time, please go to justintime.org. You can click on podcast, share this with your friends, and if you'd like to support us, there's a donate page. Thank you so much. Bye. If you're struggling, remember how you think is how you feel. If your feelings feel heavy, start by shifting the thought. You're not stuck, your brain can change, so can your story. I'm Jessica G. This is the Justin Time Podcast, and I'll see you next time. Until then, keep going. Never give up. And remember, the world is better with you in it, whether you believe it or not. To help reach others, please share this with your friends, family, and don't forget to like, subscribe, and donate.