Ep. 17 - Justin’s Legacy: Turning Personal Loss into Advocacy with Lynn Hearst

Two losses. Thirty days apart. And a question that wouldn’t let go: how do you stay alive when your brain keeps pulling you back toward darkness? Jessica G hands the mic to guest host Lynn Hearst for a deeper interview on the grief that followed her father’s death and her brother Justin’s death, and how that pain became the fuel behind the Just In Time Podcast and her suicide prevention advocacy. 

We talk about what suicidal ideation can look like over years, how stigma and being labelled “crazy” can shut people down, and why recovery is rarely a single solution. Jessica explains what finally clicked for her: neuroplasticity, retraining thought loops, and building practical tools that help the nervous system step out of survival mode. She also shares a clear crisis idea that’s easy to remember when things get scary: “time and distance,” creating space long enough for the wave to pass. 

You’ll also hear why she’s passionate about reaching college students, especially around the “perfect storm” of mixing alcohol with stimulants or sleep meds during a hard season. We zoom out to the real-world mental health toolkit she uses now, including movement, sauna, cold plunge, meditation, sleep, nutrition, and the nuanced role medication can play as short-term support. We close with the mission ahead: building an accessible program and balancing honest language about suicide with broader mental health prevention goals. 

If this conversation helps you, share it with someone you love, then like, subscribe, leave a review, and consider donating so we can reach more people.

If you are in a crisis or feel unsafe, call or text 988 or dial 911 for immediate support. There are people out there who will listen and can help.

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Transcript

Welcome And Crisis Resources

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Hi, I'm Jessica G, and this is the Justin Time Podcast. If you're struggling today, I want you to know this podcast is here for you, but it's not a substitute for professional help. If you're in a crisis or feel unsafe, please call or text 988 or dial 911 for media support. There are people out there who will listen and can help. On this show, I'll be sharing personal experiences, mindset shifts, talking with key experts, and sharing real tools that help me go from barely surviving to thriving. This is not about quick fixes or one size fits all advice. It's raw, it's honest, it's what worked for me and what I believe can help others too. Let's walk together from darkness to home.

Guest Host Flip And Maternity Leave

SPEAKER_00 0:53

Jessica invited me to guest host this episode, which is actually fulfilling a bucket list item of mine. Um, instead of her interviewing me, I'm gonna turn the mics and actually interview Jessica and go a little bit deeper into some of her story. So, Jessica, thank you. I'm honored for allowing you to fulfill this bucket item list. Uh-huh. And uh yeah, I can't wait to get into this.

SPEAKER_02 1:22

Well, I'm super excited to have you here. And also um to all of our listeners, um I will be going on maternity leave and Lynn will be taking over um for about four episodes, maybe more if we're lucky. Um, just because, you know, we want, I want to be able to spend time with the baby and like focus on me and my new family, and also share with you guys that like protecting your mental health is very important. And sometimes it's okay to take a step back and hand the reins over to somebody else. So I'm super excited um that you've kind of stepped up and I think you're the perfect person to take over that role.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Thank you. What a great mentor you are and coach. Well, Jessica, before we talk about this incredible impact that this podcast and your story has had, I'd love listeners to understand and really remind them that of the heart behind this podcast, because with every mission, always starts with a story.

Losing Her Dad And Justin

SPEAKER_00 2:24

Yeah. Um, your advocacy comes from a very personal place. And you've shared before about losing both your father and your brother, Justin, uh, within a very short time of each other. Would you feel comfortable in sharing a little more about that season in your life? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

Um, so you know, uh, suicide was something I always kind of struggled with. Um, I have battled with it for 20 years. And I kind of really put it aside and um thought that I overcame like a lot of things. Um, when my dad passed away, it just ignited all of that back inside of me, and I did not know how to cope. And then one month later, literally like one month, um, my dad died April 31st, and then Justin was like 30 something days later, uh, June 4th, and it just roughed my world. It was a very, very dark time for me for sure. I did not think that I was gonna be able to survive. I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I was just in so much pain, um, blankets on my windows, like couldn't smile. Like I was crying non-stop. I had to go see a dermatologist to like drain my under eyes. Uh, my eyelids swelled so bad that my eyelashes fell out, my hair fell out, I had to like cut it really short. Um, so not only like mentally and emotionally, but physically, you could see me just like go into survival mode. And you could, you could just look at me and and tell like something terrible had happened, you know, at that point. Um and so that was a very, very, very dark time.

SPEAKER_00 4:16

That's difficult because one thing, when we lose our parents, yeah, it's a shock the way that your father left. Yeah. But knowing my own daughter losing her brother, yeah, so soon after that, I it it's not in the right, it wasn't in the right order of things to lose your brother. At the time that you were already grieving.

SPEAKER_02 4:45

Yeah, it hit me. I mean, I couldn't I couldn't believe it, you know, it was devastating to say the least.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

I just can't imagine. Yeah. When did you realize then so going on the journey that you had from your your dad and so quickly your brother, yeah, when did you realize that sharing your story had such an impact to others?

Why The Podcast Exists

SPEAKER_00 5:11

And how did the idea of the podcast come about?

SPEAKER_02 5:15

So just in time, I believe, we originated in 2019. So we lost Justin, my father in 2017. And I just overcame um my suicide ideation in that time. But it really came about after I went to Dr. Joe Dispens's workshop. So I had gone to behavioral centers, I'd gone to counseling, I gone on medications, and nothing seemed to be working, although I believe that that helped me cope with it until I could reach this information that specifically worked for me, right? Because I think like every person is different and unique in what will work for them. And what really clicked for me in my brain was retraining and rewiring my brain because I was already in survival and you're just in this constant loop. And it's so hard to get out of that. And the only way to get out of that is to, you know, break certain thought patterns. And so I practiced that for 90 days. I did the intensive and progressive workshop, and then I flew to Germany and did his advance workshop. And I remember, like, and especially for someone that has struggled for 20 years with suicide ideation, um, I remember the women that I was surrounded by in the behavioral center. And I just wanted to rush back to them and say, you guys, there's a way out. You know, like, yes, medication and counseling and all these things are great, but like I found a way out where I really took control over my life and I wasn't just living a life that I was constantly coping with. Because for me, I wanted to like thrive. And it always life always felt very painful from from such a very young age. And I wanted to be free from that. And I thought after such devastation, I thought I could never and I was gonna be labeled as the person, you know, that's the girl who lost her dad and brother, you know, her crazy family or her, you know, whatever it was. And there was so much stigma around mental health growing up. Um, and you know, that word crazy being labeled as crazy. And growing up in a sensual family, I just like I wanted to feel whatever normal felt like. I didn't know what normal felt like. And um, because I found my way out of darkness, I wanted to go back and be like, hey, you guys, here's what works. And so that's really how Justin Time uh came about. Um I know like a lot of people that have lost loved ones, they want to do something because it's more of like a healing journey for me for them, which is beautiful and wonderful in its own way. But for me, it wasn't just about healing for me. It was, hey, I have healed and here's how I did it. And I want to share this with you because if it saved my life, I guarantee it can help save someone else's life. That's how deeply um my belief goes in rewiring the blind brain, brain and harnessing neuroplasticity to fight suicide ideation. And so that's truly um, thank you for asking that question because sometimes I think it gets lost in translation with just mental health prevention and things like that. But yeah, that's um that's why just in time exists today. And then I guess to answer your the second part of your question is um the podcast um kind of originated because I was like, you know, we need to start the conversation, right? So right now we're trying to find, you know, key experts in neuroplasticity um to create a program. We're in the phase of building out that program, how much it's gonna cost, uh, who are are the key experts, what do we want that to look like? And then maybe doing some fundraising to help um build that program so it's free and accessible to everyone. There's not, I know a lot of those girls that were in the behavioral center, they don't have 10 grand to fly to Germany, set up for a workshop, um, buy a hotel, you know, get there, all of those things, um, or wherever, you know, his workshops were at the time. And it wasn't exactly geared towards that, you know what I mean? So I just took pieces of that program where I was just so struggling and I just want something out there that harnesses that um that's free for people to to use just as another resource. Um, and so I thought starting the nonprofit is a great way to kind of start that conversation because I really couldn't believe that there's not a program out there um or that's you know been in these institutions or or or really talked about um as much as it should be talked about. Because it's definitely a thing. Like everyone knows it's out there, but um so yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

Yeah, I think it's very interesting because I know when I started the journey after my son passed away, which was the pandemic. I think what happens to people now, if you're a lost survivor in a situation like you are, the resources and just where we've come from from just five, six years ago, it's pretty amazing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:28

That's what you're helping to push forward. Yeah. I mean, 988 didn't

Justin’s Struggles And College Risks

SPEAKER_02 10:33

even exist in 2017, you know? And my brother was a college student, and um his fraternity was even suicide prevention, he was Sigma Pie in WrestleWill. Why do you think he went into that? Didn't he struggle with IBH? So I felt like I feel like Justin had a lot of weight on him and the family because of the family dynamic. Um, and I wasn't, I guess, aware of of that, you know what I mean? Because I was in California and he was here. Um but I from his friends um that I had talked to, they had told me that he had talked about it before and he was struggling with it. Um, but I did not know that. And I think that he saw me struggle with it at such a young age, you know, and he saw my mom and my family basically uh discard me and call me crazy and all these things. And I think that he didn't want to be like I was. And I think like Justin always saw me, like we always we were so close, like nothing could break our bond, you know what I mean? Like it was it was a sacred bond that Justin and I had, and no outside force or or anybody else could ever break that that true bond that we had, you know? And I just think that like it's that stigma, you know, um, because he did, you know, talk about to some of his friends. So um, and I think I think that, you know, he really one day wanted to get closer to my dad. Um, but what I really think is that, you know, he was in college, he went out, had a drink, there's Adderall in his system. I know there was NyQuil. Um, and sometimes, and this is what I really like to speak to college students about, it's like, hey, if you are going through a difficult time in your life, a breakup, you've lost um a loved one, you know, going out and having a drink and taking an Adderall or mixing NyQuil is not the way to do it. You know what I mean? Because your brain is already not like functioning on a on um the correct level. And so you can create, you can, you know, it's like the perfect storm, and then you can make a permanent decision on a temporary feeling. Um, and you know, all of those chemicals, alcohol, Adderall, Nyquil, whatever it is, it can alter your brain chemistry. Um, and that's when you go into true crisis. And so I really like urge college students not to drink and take Adderall and do all those things, and especially if you're dealing with a mental health issue already, just being very mindful of that.

SPEAKER_00 13:24

Because I don't think that, you know, college students understand the true impact of that. Correct. I I I think a lot of what you're saying with neuroplasticity and the things that you've talked about even just today, a lot of it's just being pragmatic with yourself. You have to put tools in place and recognize that it's hard for a column. Yeah. Yeah.

Remembering Justin’s Life

SPEAKER_00 13:53

Well, before we move into the further lessons of advocacy, I'd like to pause and talk really more about Justin, not just his loss, but more of his life. Often I think when people talk about suicide, the person becomes defined by their death and loss. Um, but I know that Justin, just like my son, they were so much more than that death or loss, the end of that part of their life. Because it continues. And so you said a little bit about Justin. What really was he like growing up? Was he exquisite? Was he introverted? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:40

And I think that's why, you know, it hurts so bad when these people leave our lives because they they were such, well, at least Justin was. He was just such a beautiful light, you know, within him. And he was just filled with love. And he just wanted everybody to be happy, you know. Um, he actually like didn't he um so he almost died at birth. And yeah, and so the just in time thing kind of came from my grandma. So my grandmother said he was just in time. Yeah, because he he had um, I guess his apgar test was like really low. He got stuck in the birth canal from what I remember, and he came out blue, and so I think he wasn't breathing at first. And so um he had he was in like special classes um up until he was in like sixth or seventh grade. He worked out of all of them. Um and he had like a speech impediment and some speech classes, but he worked so hard. He worked unbelievably hard to get to where he was at. And, you know, we were also proud of him for, you know, he's about to graduate college, you know, and get his full degree. And what was he majoring? Um computer science.

unknown 15:56

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 15:56

Yeah. He actually um on his Instagram has like pictures with Doug McMillan um and things like that. But he he loved music, he loved parkour. Um, he liked playing the guitar, he loved sports, not like sports, but like working out. Um, but he loved gymnastics. So, but he was always like the kid that would like run up and like open the car door for you. Or if he saw an old lady walking out of a grocery store, he would make sure like her door was or the front door was open for her. Like he was just very helpful person, you know. Um just a very like thoughtful, beautiful soul.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

I can tell you both come from the same, I mean, the upbringing, both of you are that way.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

You want to help people. Yeah, we definitely shared that same kind of like energy.

SPEAKER_00 16:50

Um what is there a story or something about Justin makes you smile when we make her bow? Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 16:59

Yeah, okay. What comes to mind is um in California, um, my dad wasn't being like the nicest or never. And um Justin saw that like my dad hurt my feelings. He like said something. And I know Justin saw me because I like went into my room and I was like crying. And this is when he was losing his teeth, or his teeth were like weird, and he had a SpongeBob ice cream. And I have this picture, and every time I get sad, I actually look at this. He would go Spongebob SquarePants, and he'd hold up his ice cream and he would just make me laugh. He was just so funny. It is like he he noticed, he noticed things, but then also like did something to like make you feel seen or loved or cared about, you know, just naturally, just naturally. And I remember the first time he trusted me, like learned true trust. We were swimming. So the first time he ever went into a pool was with me. And because he was like my real life baby doll. I was 10 when he was born, and I'll never forget how scared he was of the water. And I was like, it's okay, it's okay. And he would like jump to me off of the um pool deck or whatever. And I remember him building that trust. And I remember the day that he was like, okay, I'm safe with Sissy, you know? Um, and that I think from then on, he just always he just always had that bond. It is beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 18:23

I yeah, I see a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 18:26

Did you play a little bit of the mom's role? Probably. I mean, people literally asked me if he was my son. And I was like, this is my little brother when I was 16, when he was six. And I was like, no, this is my little brother. I'm not a 16-year-old mom. But um, and I and honestly, Justin, I'm gonna cry. Oh gosh. During the time I was struggling with suicide ideation, Justin was always the person that came into my mind.

Time And Distance In Crisis

SPEAKER_02 19:08

I cannot end my life because I could never do that to my little brother. So I held on for so long because I would never want to hurt him. You don't want to hurt the people that you love the most. You just want the pain to stop. So it was devastating for people, you know. Um but without him, I probably wouldn't be here today.

SPEAKER_00 19:48

I was just gonna ask you if Justin saw the impact that he's had in everything that you've done. Yeah. What would he ask? What do you think you would say to me? I think you'd be so proud.

SPEAKER_02 20:06

You think he'd be so happy. I think even though he knows it was a mistake. I know he knows it was a mistake, and it was an accident, and it was just he was in a crisis, and it was a making it a permanent decision on temporary feeling. And when you're in that moment, your brain does not operate correctly, and that's why they say time and distance are the things that will save your life when you're in a crisis. And um, but yeah, I know that he would be proud.

SPEAKER_00 20:45

And that's what you would tell people now.

SPEAKER_02 20:47

Yeah, time and distance. Yeah, yes, because it takes there's a certain amount of time that you're in that crisis, but you're you will come out of it eventually, and that time can be different for everyone, depending on what your mental health situation is at the time. It could be five minutes, it could be ten minutes, it could be an hour, it could be 24 hours. Um everybody's crisis looks different.

SPEAKER_00 21:09

I was gonna say it is so different for everyone. Yeah. Well, thank you for sharing Justin, and I'm sorry. Just deliberately beautiful. Justin, in many ways, and stories like his are why conversations like this matter. Because I I think one of the reasons why I connect with you, and I'll start learning, is I see what my daughter worked, was she lost her miles. You lost your Justin. Yeah. That's how far apart were they? 18 months. Okay. And she was younger than him. Okay. And she knew he was struggling and tried to help, and he kept kind of pushing her away before.

unknown 21:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:56

Um, and then just a little. Funny story um when we found out that Miles had passed. It was just the week that my daughter graduated with our security and college degree. Oh wow, yeah. And she said, not done it, Miles, you stole the spotlight. Oh, so but they absolutely loved each other. And um that's why I think I connect with you because I I know not all that you're going through, but I connect with the the loss that you had.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

So yeah. Definitely, I would say that Justin was the one of the best guests I've ever had in my life.

unknown 22:42

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 22:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

Absolutely. Well, I and I I'm just gonna say this. Justin's story just it didn't end with tragedy. Yeah. And this is new to you. Um in many ways, it sparked a mission that continues to help people today. So that's why I'm thinking,

Medication And Practical Support

SPEAKER_00 23:04

what would he say to you today? That's my answer to that question because you've taken something so painful and you've done something so wonderful with it.

SPEAKER_02 23:17

Thank you. And, you know, even though I've overcome suicide ideation and I'm in a stable place today, um, I want everyone to know that like the grief and the pain will always be there. It gets easier, you know, um, as time goes by. And like that's the only thing that I can hold on to. I remember after the lost people say, the only thing that's gonna help is time, the only thing that's gonna help is time because there's so much to unpack and there's so much to work through, and you can't work through it all at one time. You have to take breaks for yourself and then unpack a little bit here. And then like 15, like it got to the point where I could not stop crying. And I was told, listen, you can cry for 15 minutes a day and that's it, and then you're done. Because it was getting to the point where it was just rocking my world and mentally destroying me. But it was just like uh it was really hard to stop. Stepping in pragmatic way to Yeah, and like really trying to get control over your brain because you're you're just in the survival mode, and and then you look in the mirror and you don't recognize yourself, and so I need to get that. Yeah, you have to somehow, somehow. And I think you know, at that point, that's probably what medication did for me. Probably like seeing a doctor and getting on medication probably helped me um kind of get to that point where I could start processing all of the information uh that Dispenza had like laid out, you know. But I knew that the medication ultimately wasn't going to be uh fix, fix me and fix it all. Like I had to fix it up here, you know?

SPEAKER_00 25:05

I went through the same thing and very interesting uh when I lost my son, and it was such a tragic, you know, it was a shock. Yeah, I ended up with athe. Oh my gosh. And I, you know, I did a lot of work at time at Miles Pass. Yeah. Um, I went to my cardiologist and he was the one. He's here in town. His name's Dr. Ryan. He's great. Yeah. He listened to me and he's like, Well, you need something to deal with this. So he put me on lexicra. Yeah. And I we started off and stayed on the very lowest one. Yeah. That's exactly what I did. It was just to help you get through.

SPEAKER_02 25:43

Yeah. And I know that like medication has a stigma. Um honestly, it has helped so many people. And it's not, it's like a band-aid, you know, and it in it, and it kind of helps you get to the next thing and the next thing, and it can definitely like balance your uh your brain chemicals, you know. Um, but sometimes it's hard because you know, you have to try different feet, like a different um a few different medications. And I think that's where people give up.

SPEAKER_00 26:15

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 26:16

If the first one doesn't work, you know, or it could make you worse, you know, because there's side effects to everything. But really, because I had to get, I had to, I tried three different ones. Um and so yeah, so I would say like, you know, it's a multitude of things that like help us heal, but definitely like don't discount like you know, seeing a psychiatrist or a doctor and like getting on something like that. Cause I was very against it at first. I was like, no, I don't need medicine. Yes, yes, but honestly, like there's a reason why it's out there, and um, you know, modern medicine can help. So absolutely, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:54

And you do hear uh very emotionally charged stories, yeah. And

Daily Tools That Keep Her Well

SPEAKER_00 27:02

we've talked about the things that you do pragmatically. What do you do now? Yeah, when you go on a journey with someone, and it's a tough story.

SPEAKER_02 27:12

So I feel like I go on a journey every week with my clients with my job because I like people sit in my chair and they tell me so much about their lives and they share. And like, you know, I've learned to kind of like keep things more professional and this and that. But sometimes you just meet somebody and you know, like, God has put them in your chair for more than just a reason for their hair, right? It's like, yes, I'm I do I give amazing results and in the best hair, like look at you.

SPEAKER_00 27:42

I didn't do it justice today, but it's still expeditable.

SPEAKER_02 27:47

But um like every week, this is like a weekly thing for me. Um, so I have an infrared sauna. Right now I'm pregnant, so I can't like turn it up. I have it on like the lowest setting. But normally when I'm not pregnant, and that's been another challenge too, is being pregnant and you know, going through all this and trying to maintain the podcast and things like that. It's definitely been times 10 for sure. Um, but cold plunges, yeah, exercise, moving my body helps me, whether it's going on a walk, but I like to lift weights or like doing a Pilates class with a girlfriend, but definitely like moving my body. Movement for me is everything. Like I feel like I just have to move the energy out of weight. Um, and that's different for everyone, but definitely definitely movement, even if it's like a restorative stretch, like a 15-minute restorative stretch, and then meditation while I'm usually in the sauna. So sauna, cold plunge, um I do um like hydrotherapy, like I have a hot tub. Um, but those are the things that really, really, really help. And then making sure like my nutrition and my sleep is good. Like I usually have an R ring on, or um, making sure I take my magnesium and just like prioritizing my um like vitamins, making sure I'm drinking water, sleeping, because sleep deprivation is a huge thing. Um and so I think maintaining those things really um just helps my overall mental health and well-being for sure.

SPEAKER_00 29:22

I'm gonna

Naming Suicide Versus Broader Reach

SPEAKER_00 29:23

switch lines first. Yeah. When you started the podcast to is there anything that's that you've changed your mind on?

SPEAKER_02 29:33

So the first thing that comes to mind is we have suicide prevention. And you know, we want to look into getting more corporate sponsors because we really want this to create major impact. And so maybe changing it to mental health prevention, but part of me, my heart is in suicide because I struggle with that for so long and I know how painful it is to be in that spot. And so I never want to not reach those people because that was the mission, right? And I want to stay true to the mission. So it's not like I've changed my mind on it, but I've kind of teetered and yeah, on it. And I had um Jessica, Jessica DeQeen, she was on here. We did an episode about uh mental health uh in the corporate world. And you know, she's she's very brilliant, and um, she was like, you know, corporate doesn't like the word suicide, you know, it's just a scary word to them. Um, and even I was talking to Jacqueline Sharp with AFSP, and um, she had done uh different things for like Walmart and and bigger corporations, and they asked not to use that word suicide. Um so I'm kind of figuring what that looks like and suicide the word, it still has the stigma. So I don't know, what are your thoughts on that?

SPEAKER_00 30:53

I was thinking that today as I was coming in, because the thing about your podcast, it was rooted in loss. But the one thing that I think is the most important is it's rooted also in hope. Yes. And so it's we all know suicide prevention is thinking really past that and putting things in place to pass.

SPEAKER_02 31:19

Like true mental health uh care. Yeah. Like prevention starts with your mental health, you know?

SPEAKER_00 31:25

Yeah. Yeah, it's it is funny that I was thinking of that today. Yeah, because it is there's so much more subs. I don't want to say substance, that's not right, because suicide is so heavy. It's such a heavy word. But my goodness, from you know, I my mom always said, you know, you've gotta have the bad times to know what the good times feel like. Yeah. And I do believe that it's just really tough when you go through the deep valleys to to get to the top or to look at, you know, on top of a mountain looking out. Yeah, it is beautiful, but you didn't know it was beautiful if you had not come from that lower valley. Yeah. So um, yeah, and it it I just think it's kind of funny that I was thinking that your podcast has so much hope in it.

SPEAKER_02 32:15

Yeah. Yeah, and that's kind of how it's like evolved. Um I'm I'm like, it doesn't have to be so heavy all the time, you know. We can have certain episodes that like talk about it. So it's kind of in the mix right now. Um, we'll see how it evolves. So but yeah, it would be easier, I feel like, to talk about those things. Um, but then always maybe just having episodes that are just dedicated to, you know, prevention and crisis and um, you know, the steps of like, what do I do? Somebody's strong with suicide. I never want to lose that side of it. Um, but if we can reach, if we can get more corporate sponsors or people willing to like donate to help create the programs and like get them into behavioral centers or government grants or things like that, then it makes sense to change it because it's like it's creating such a bigger impact and all the information is within it. Because some people see the word suicide and won't even look like won't even go down that road. So if we have to take a step back to move forward and it's all about reach. So what message would you like to leave your listeners today?

Never Give Up And How To Join

SPEAKER_02 33:23

My goodness. Um honestly, never give up. I have a tattoo on the inside of my arm, and I I'd ask you to show up, but it's cold in here. It is, it's cold in here. Um, and it's actually my mom's handwriting. And I had such a difficult time. I actually got two tattoos after my brother and dad died because I was trying to find a reason to stay. You know what I mean? Because before, honestly, I never wanted to hurt my brother. So I just said, you know what, I am not gonna go down that road. I am not gonna take my life. I could never do that to my little brother. Like, he's so precious. I love him so much. There's no way. That's awful. And then after he was gone, I was like, oh, what's the point of me being here? And I just lost all hope. And so I have these two tattoos. One, it cut my dad, was like, um, grew up in Nebraska, and it cut, they kind of look like uh tractor tires. It's like this animal right here. Absolutely. But it also means keep moving forward no matter what, and it's dark, faded to light. So it's like it was dark and heavy, and it kind of fades into the light. And so this was my promise to not take my life. So when I was struggling, I would look down at this tattoo and I'd say, I made a promise to myself. And I made a promise to my brother at my dad's funeral. I said, You don't do this. And he goes, You don't do this, and we shook on it. Because we both know knew what we were thinking. We're both going into crisis, you know, or we maybe had a hunch that the other person was. Such a sad time. Um, and then I got the other one, never give up, because I I think that's like Justin's words, never give up, sis, never give up, you know? And um, if you look at his Instagram and some of the things that he posted, um, you know, he always said, if you believe in your dreams the universal hobby, catch them. And so I think that was one of the last things that that he really wanted everyone to know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:21

Wow, Jessica, thank you so much for sharing Justin with us today. Yeah. And uh I'll turn it over to you to close out the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 35:30

Okay, well, thank you. Um, if you guys have a story, um, we are looking for new guests on the show. If you have a platform, if mental health is important to you or you just feel like you have something to share in your heart that can help others, please reach out. We have info at just in time and stablelife.org is our email. And um until then, never give up.

SPEAKER_00 35:54

Never give up. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 35:55

Yes, thank you guys. Bye.

SPEAKER_01 35:57

If you're struggling, remember how you think is how you feel. If your feelings feel heavy, start by shifting the thought. You're not stuck, your brain can change, so can your story. I'm Jessica G. This is the Justin Time podcast, and I'll see you next time. Until then, keep going. Never give up. And remember, the world is better with you in it, whether you believe it or not. To help reach others, please share this with your friends, family, and don't forget to like, subscribe, and donate.