Ep. 22 - Lowering Cortisol Naturally: The Biology of Connection

Loneliness is a quiet crisis that fundamentally alters human biology. People often mistake profound isolation for a personal failure while completely ignoring the physiological need for physical safety and genuine connection. Licensed therapist Emily Starr brings her holistic expertise in animal assisted therapy to demonstrate how healing frequently begins before a single word is spoken.

We sit down to explore the actual mechanics of a holistic mental health session. We discuss the difference between standard household pets and clinical therapy tools, the importance of bottom up grounding techniques, and the biological reality of lowering cortisol while increasing oxytocin. The real breakthrough comes when Emily explains her philosophy of creating bodily safety first and how a therapy dog organically drops a patient's emotional defenses without clinical pressure.

Reconnecting with the world after intense isolation is an uncomfortable process that tests a person's nervous system. The hard reality involves acknowledging when your internal fire alarm is ringing and accepting that simply forcing social interaction might do more harm than good. Listeners will walk away with a practical framework to identify their own baseline need for safety and the mindset required to slowly build grounding routines in their daily lives.

If you care about nervous system regulation, holistic mental health practices, and utilizing connection to combat isolation, you will get a lot from this. Please subscribe and share this episode with another person navigating these same challenges. What is the most effective grounding technique you currently use to regulate your own stress?

If you are in a crisis or feel unsafe, call or text 988 or dial 911 for immediate support. There are people out there who will listen and can help.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:35

It's what works for me and what I believe can help others do. Let's walk together from darkness.

SPEAKER_01 0:45

Hi, this is Lynn Hurst, and I am guest hosting for the wonderful Jessica G, who is out, has a new uh bundle of joy at home right now. So we're thinking of Jessica and her family and hoping you are really enjoying your little treasure. So with that, I've got a special show today, and I'm just going to start out by a little background as to what we're going to talk about today. In 1953, child psychologist Boris Levinson was working with a young boy who rarely spoke during therapy sessions. Then one day something unexpected happened. The boy began opening up, not to Levinson, but to Levinson's dog jingles. That quiet moment helped shape what we now know as modern assisted. Here, let me start over. In 1953, child psychologist Boris Levinson was working with a young boy who rarely spoke during therapy sessions. Then one day something unexpected happened. The boy began opening up not to Levinson, but to Levinson's dog, jingles. That quiet moment helped shape what we now know as modern animal-assisted therapy. While people had long noticed the calming effect animals can have, this became one of the first widely recognized examples of animals helping someone emotionally heal. Today, therapy animals are used in hospital schools, hospice programs, trauma recovery, and mental health settings around the world. And maybe that's part of what this podcast is really about: the quiet moments of connection that help someone feel less alone. Joining me today is Emily Starr, licensed therapist and owner of Aligned Living Counseling, to help us better understand why sometimes healing begins not with answers, but with connection. Emily, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. It's an honor.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

Ellie's quite comfortable already.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

Yes, so Emily has a special guest. She's actually sleeping right now. She's very quiet. She's calmed me down quite a bit. But why don't we start off a little bit about you and how you got on this journey? For sure.

SPEAKER_02 3:17

So I've been a therapist. This is my um 12th year as a therapist. And I really started when I when I began my private practice and went out on my own three years ago, I started kind of incorporating like more of a holistic approach to mental health. I'm really passionate about making sure that people are moving and looking at lifestyle choice choices as opposed to just focusing on symptoms in art therapy sessions. And so I started integrating outdoor therapy and found that a lot of people really benefited from that, just being outside and exposing them to a less clinical setting. Once I got Ellie as a pet, um I started noticing, you know, just the connection I've always had with dogs. I've had dogs my entire adult life and they do, they bring us so much joy because they're just, they're constant, they're consistent, they love us no matter what. They greet us when we get home, they jump in bed with us when we go to bed. They're our, you know, their number one companion. And I started noticing when I would take her in public how people just were drawn to her. They'd say, Oh my gosh, you have a doodle. What's her name? And everybody wants to pet her. And then I'm talking to people that I wouldn't otherwise talk to. And people are talking to me that wouldn't, you know, otherwise talk to me.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

And I thought just like today when you came into the studio, everybody can that's right.

SPEAKER_02 4:32

Yeah, and there's just such a sense of connection that animals bring um to people. And so I thought, why am I not working on bringing her into therapy? Like what a valuable tool she could be for, you know, my client. So it's kind of what we did. So, what got you into therapy in the first place? Um, a combination of just life experiences and just being so intrigued with why we are the way we are and kind of why, you know, how certain situations and life events cause certain things in a domino effect. Um, but I've always had a passion for helping people. Um, I mean, even in school, like if there was a kid who moved to the district, like I wanted to befriend them. I felt very uncomfortable if people felt uncomfortable, if people felt like isolated. And so I always knew I wanted to do something with people. Um, and it wasn't. I was actually a pre-genital hygiene major in school. And um part of the prereqs were psychology and sociology and things of that nature. And I was just fascinated with oh my gosh, like this causes that and this causes this. And then I started making connections to my own life. Um, and you know, some seasons I have gone through that were really turbulent in childhood and adolescence. And thought if I had, you know, had a therapist maybe intervene, a lot of this could have been bypassed. And I started realizing that um it was really a lack of like safety and connection. And so I thought, okay, how can I be this for other people?

SPEAKER_01 5:56

Oh, that is uh I envy you. It is something that I would love to do. And I wish you could see her right now, but we'll show her, we can show her later. Yeah. Um when you started bringing it with is Ellie your first? Yes. Okay, when you started bringing Ellie in, when did you notice that that people really did start connecting or relaxing more? Or what did you notice when you brought somebody in? Yeah, so I noticed a pretty immediate shift.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

Um, an immediate shift. It wasn't like one particular person that was like, oh my gosh, this is groundbreaking. It was literally everybody. Um, people in the waiting room when we would go get a client, um, would be like, oh my gosh, a a doodle in my own work with my clients, especially new ones who had never done therapy before, who came in with some apprehension. She was such a great um, you know, tool for bridging that gap of anxiety and um, you know, people that maybe weren't open to sharing or weren't even sure what to share, they started talking to her. And then through talking to her, we'd kind of share stories about her or start, she was kind of the focal point. And then that you would just see them kind of lighten and the tension would kind of melt away, and then they were naturally just talking.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

Probably like, oh, you're not really assessing me all the time, or we've got a a nice pet here. I'm wondering if um how what's the difference between pet therapy and just simply having a pet? I know I've got a I've got a doodle, I love the doodles, and I have a cat. And since you were talking about when you were young and you had trauma, I had a little trauma too, but it wasn't it, it was kind of from bullying. And so I would go home and I would have a cat, and that soothed me because my mother back in the 70s, so last century, it was don't feel that way. Oh, don't feel that way. It was kind of like she knew that that I was hurt by being bullied, but she herself didn't have the tools to maybe help me um feel better. So I would go upstairs with my cat, and my cat would be there, and that's how I've always gotten my comfort. Sure. So, what would be the difference between having like I know it's therapy for me, but the difference of just having an animal and having a therapy animal?

SPEAKER_02 8:32

Yeah, so I think the most important distinction is that you know having a pet is not clinical, um, and having a therapy, a therapy dog or doing animal-assisted therapy, um, it's it's another intervention. It's a tool that we utilize. So um again, we know that pets are therapeutic, but if you're having a panic attack, your pet is likely not going to help you get out of that. Your pet is not going to be able to offer the tools of grounding techniques and mindfulness and um kind of a bottom-up approach that we like to incorporate at our office, where you know, we try to create safety within the body first, and then we can set we can conceptualize the problem. Then we can start thinking about what we're feeling, why we're feeling it, and work through that. A pet at your home can't do that. So um it can certainly be therapeutic, um, but it's not a clinical tool as it is in a therapy room.

SPEAKER_01 9:21

Very, very good. Um come come Ellie, come good girl. So you've gone into it a little bit, but what would a typical session look like? So if I were to come into your office, which I probably should, if I came into your office, what would that look like?

SPEAKER_02 9:42

Yeah, so it's very natural. Um, I've been really passionate about not having a cold clinical setting. And um, as someone who's done therapy for a long time and someone who's been in therapy, um, I'd know that the the progress that a client makes is less determined or less, I guess, dependent upon what the therapist knows clinically and more dependent upon the relationship that they have with that therapist. So I've always wanted my clients to come in and feel safe and secure and at ease. And she is such a great tool for that. So when they come in, they a lot of the time they greet her first. And that kind of gives me an idea of where they're at emotionally. Um, you know, if they're not saying hi to me first and they're speaking to her first, or maybe um, you know, they're they're nervous or they're upset, they may not want to greet her at all, they may want to sit down. So she's kind of a good tool to assess where we're at at the beginning of a session. But she is so intuitive. Um, she kind of knows when a client's leaving space and she'll just go naturally and lay on her pad. Um, I've had clients that come in that are really anxious and she won't get in there, she's on a jumper, so she won't get in their lap, but she'll simply lay at their feet and then they lean and they start petting. And so just naturally, without them even realizing it, they're doing grounding techniques, right? They're either incorporating the senses of touch and feel and smell and you know, texture prefer, and they're naturally being soothed just by her presence. Their cortisol's going down, you know, oxytocin's going up.

SPEAKER_01 11:06

Yeah. And why I wonder why animals help that to happen without even saying anything, but it's through connection. How does that happen so quickly? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:21

So on a biological level, what's happening is they've done research at Harvard and it's quite interesting. So they they took these dogs to a clinic where clients were receiving chemotherapy as a cancer treatment, and they were giving the clients exposure to these dogs two to three times a week for 10 to 15 minutes at a time over a six-week span. And what they found is these people who felt really hopeless and helpless, depressed, and isolated reported that their emotional well-being improved greatly after this six-week period. Um, and their, you know, depression lowered and just their symptoms of depression lowered. And what's happening in those moments on a biological level is that, like you mentioned, cortisol, it's naturally decreasing because you're connecting with something else. So you're not able to actually focus on the problem. Um, and the grounding technique that happens just naturally by touching something or exposing yourself to a different environment, especially an animal, that brings love and no judgment. It helps people drop their defenses. So it also produces um the chemical oxytocin, which is responsible for bonding and connection and calm and safety. And so two things are happening at one time. You know, stress is lowering, happiness is rising, and then those defenses kind of drop where a person just feels more inclined to then share because their nervous system has slowed down enough where they can.

SPEAKER_01 12:40

What is the percentage of are there a lot of animal assisted therapy? Is there a lot out there?

SPEAKER_02 12:48

I'm honestly not sure. Um, like I told you at the beginning of our meeting, I'm from Fort Smith. My practice is in Fayetteville. Um, I have a kiddo that's heading off to college this year, and so I kind of preemptively moved the practice to get established um ahead of the move. Oh, that was smart. Yeah. Um, but I've found that a lot of our clients haven't seen, you know, a dog in a therapy setting. I'm sure they're out there. I just in the area, I'm not, I'm not sure. I know it's not something that's extremely common. Um, we also offer outdoor therapy, which I know isn't something that's extremely, you know, common, but I think it's a it's a growing field for sure. Um people are seeing the benefits of being outside and moving their bodies and bringing animals into the therapy setting.

SPEAKER_01 13:30

So just getting back to, I don't know, a more natur, well, as you said earlier, natural. The basics, holistic, yes. Yeah. And then um you mentioned uh seeing real life impact with clients. Is there any moment that you've had that really stands out that you're able to share? Sure.

SPEAKER_02 13:54

Um, I wouldn't say there's one specific moment that stands out more than it's just patterns that I've seen over time. Um, that consistently she is in the room, clients are overwhelmed. They pet her, she comes to them, and their defenses drop. Um, they're, you know, much less likely to be closed off in the session. I've had clients that were so anxious on their first session, they couldn't even make eye contact. Like they they knew they needed therapy, but they weren't even sure where to start. And so they, you know, it would just start with petting Ellie, us talking about Ellie, me maybe sharing a funny story about what she did earlier in the day. The the safety is created first, and then they're much more, you know, open to sharing. And she kind of bridges that gap.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

So that it's just to me incredible that the that I don't see it more. Yeah. Um, I kind of lived most of my life in Springfield, Missouri, and my dentist had started bringing uh it was a I think it was a doodle in for the kids just to relax them. And I thought, oh, and then I did notice down here they have equine therapy too.

SPEAKER_02 15:04

Yes. And when I was in graduate school back in like 2012, they were talking a lot about equine therapy. And I know for me, I I'm not around horses often, but the times that I have been on a horse, it almost felt weirdly spiritual. Like I feel so connected to this big animal that, you know, could be harmful, but it they're not.

SPEAKER_01 15:21

They're docile and they I do think they're very intuitive. It's funny. I I too, I've taken the little trail rights and very appreciative that they stick me on old glue stick. Fair. But um, yeah, animals are just incredible, that they are incredible personally and professionally, and it's just it's amazing to me that they come from so many years ago, I mean centuries ago, that they have been such a part of the human life that it it is incredible.

SPEAKER_02 15:58

And you were mentioning about, you know, um different settings where you knew noticed that animals were really therapeutic. And part of her training required us to go into different settings and just see how she responded to people and how they responded to her. Um, in one of the nursing homes that we had to do rounds in, it was so precious. I mean, those people, the the geriatric population that, you know, is their life is very limited. Their quality of life is very limited. They don't, they're not exposed to the things that we had the liberty to be exposed to. Um, and you could see it, like their eyes would light up, they would smile, they'd sit up out of bed and want to pet her. I mean, they're just it was it was a really incredible experience, even getting to go through the training with her because you could see in real time like this is effective in a lot of environments with a lot of different populations.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

I just put my, well, my mother had gone into assisted living and she had passed back in 2022. But I noticed that um, I noticed that same thing when people would bring a dog in or a cat. And I often wonder, I why don't they do more with like the shelters? Because that would give people that are in those places sometimes some purpose. That's what my mother lost when she went in to, because it just it was not a good experience for her. But if she had had a cat or a little dog, she would have had something she was taken care of or looking at correct. Yeah. So I kind of wonder why they don't do more of that, and maybe they do, I just haven't heard of it. Sure.

SPEAKER_02 17:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

So yeah. And these connections, I this is just a I've got it written down a question, but it's so obvious to me because the question is, do you think connection itself can sometimes be life-saving? Yes. Yes. Have you seen that? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:55

Okay. Um, I'm actually working on a pilot program um with the university for incoming freshmen that's centered around connection. Um, I have seen firsthand with my clients who are experiencing depression and loneliness that connecting with something, whether it's a pet, themselves, nature, other people, it doesn't have to be people, it can be other things, but with any sort of connection can be life-changing. It can be life-altering. I mean, it they go from being hopeless and helpless to seeing, you know, the positive in life to feeling, you know, like life is worth living and being excited and creating routines and habits where they build more of that connection. I absolutely believe that that is, you know, the root of a lot of the problems that we face today.

SPEAKER_01 18:42

Yeah, absolutely. Just spending time, I know, when I go home from work and it's been a stressful day, that grounding again with the animals or even just taking care of them. Yeah. Them looking at you like it's time to eat. For sure.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

Well, dog owners are typically more active than other animal owners because we have to lock them and you know, the exposure to outside, you know, it's a physical and mental um improvement that people experience.

SPEAKER_01 19:09

So people that are isolated. Um, I know I well, we went through the pandemic, so there were a lot of people that were isolated, and the increase of ownership with animals really increased. And I think that that was probably many of the ways we all kind of got through the pandemic.

SPEAKER_02 19:32

For sure.

SPEAKER_01 19:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:33

And even just, you know, people you would see groups of women and uh men sitting in lawn chairs, like you know, in parking lots because they were craving that connection. Yes. I know my girlfriends and I, we um would do, you know, a couple of Zoom calls just because we needed that connection with each other.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

I'm so glad it's over. I know. Same. Well, for somebody who might be struggling today, is there an area that they could begin? Did you want to give maybe your contact information?

SPEAKER_02 20:05

So we're located in Fayetteville. Um, we're on MILSAP, so we're right off of the Fulbright Expressway. Um, our you know, our website, I'm sure we can link it somewhere. Um, we've got a team of five therapists, and then we have two interns that'll be rejoining. Do they all do animal therapy? No, but she's at the practice, you know, every day. So she has you know the capacity to go into a yeah, she does, and she knows when we put her collar on, like she knows, okay, this is work mode. Does she get a W2? She doesn't. Everyone's a 1099, so she's pro bono. Okay. Um, but um, I've lost track of what we were even talking about.

SPEAKER_01 20:42

Contact information.

SPEAKER_02 20:44

Yes, the contact information. So um I'm sure we can uh link the website, but also if it just because someone's lonely doesn't necessarily mean they need therapy. Right. Um, and also connection doesn't always have to be with, you know, a person. A lot of the time we're not as alone as we think wheeler. Um, it's really just kind of a signal that our nervous system is needing connection, but maybe we haven't been able to like have that piece of safety yet that will make connection happen. So um that's why we integrate um outdoor therapy, and that's why I push movement to my clients so heavily. Like if you don't feel safe enough to go be around other people, that's understandable. Don't force yourself to do that, but do something to connect with yourself. Put your phone away, get off social media, get off of electronics, do something that brings you joy um or even makes you feel moderately better. Go organize a closet. Um, you can go, you know, um, go to a shelter like you mentioned, and you know, visit dogs there. Go to places where people naturally have animals where you maybe don't want to talk to the person, but you'll at least see animals. Um, or if you have an animal, of course, pet it, spend time with it, take it for a walk. There are a lot of things that a person do can do to kind of boost that that feeling and get a little more connection, even if it's not to other people.

SPEAKER_01 21:56

Yeah, it's very dangerous going to places like Pet Smart that have the Saturday morning adoption and you go there to see the animals very dangerous because sometimes you kind of have to come away with one. Yes, I agree wholeheartedly. So what kind of training did Ellie get? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:17

So she do you want to say up? Yeah, here you go. Good girl. Ellie up. Oh, okay. She's gonna say hi to Miss Lynn. Um, so Ellie is CGC certified, which means canine good citizen. So she had to undergo several hours of obedience training and then be observed by the trainer um following those commands that I I give her, like sit down, under stay, those types of things. Um, and then she also is um a trained therapy dog through the Alliance of Therapy Dogs. So more hours of um, you know, observation and then clinical rotations through, you know, various settings. We had to go to a school, a hospital, and a nursing home where she was observed by the observer, um, interacting with other people. Um and then yeah, we we do some socialization training as you saw when she came in. She is ironically a little bit anxious. She wasn't socialized well at the um uh the kennel where we purchased her from. So that's kind of an ongoing battle. And it's even for her connection and safety are key for her to be able to have that interaction with strangers. Um, but we we go to tractor supply often in Lowe's, Home Depot, um, Hobby Lobby, anywhere where she can um, you know, have exposure to people and loud sounds to learn to create safety within herself as well because that builds her confidence and then she feels so proud. Um, and she tags along very often at our outdoor therapy sessions. So when I take clients hiking, that's really her element. Um, we are one and the same in that regard. We absolutely live for life on the trail and a good sunny day. So she um really loves those those settings too.

SPEAKER_01 23:53

But um was Ellie always so calm. Yes, she's always in the very you probably have to have a very calm dog in order, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:03

And that's part of the training. Um, they can't be um unruly, they can't be jumpers and really hyper. And I think a lot of people, you know, anticipate that from a doodle, and that is part of their nature, they're running on she's very playful at home, but she knows that she's not on. So at home, she, you know, the moment we walk in, she grabs a toy, and you know, we go in the backyard and we play catch and we have two other dogs that are her besties. Um, and she adores my younger son. We the trainer actually had to kind of scold him a little bit because their playing was so kind of scold the humans. Yes, exactly. Um, because she said that Ellie thought he was her litter mate. So they played really um against you know the way that we were training her to be in the therapy setting. But um, yeah, she's she's a sweetheart. She's such a good girl, and she loves to give kisses, as you can see. I I was noticing that. Yeah, she's she also I have a lotion on that. She is very fond of that.

SPEAKER_01 24:57

So that's funny. Oh, you want to say hi? So, what would you want somebody who feels alone maybe right now to hear? Sure.

SPEAKER_02 25:08

Um, kind of like I mentioned earlier, we are rarely, if ever, as a colossal. Yeah. So um, that's kind of our, I guess, body's fire alarm, telling us like, okay, there's something maybe that needs to shift in this environment that I'm in. So um, you know, going anywhere to connect with yourself, others, animals, it doesn't have to be people, um, but kind of changing the environment and knowing that feelings are um feelings and they're kind of like if you've you've ever been to a river and seen a leaf float by, like the leaf is there. We're not going to try to convince ourselves that it's not, but it passes. And so feelings are the exact same way. Um and reminding ourselves that, you know, although it might feel big and scary and urgent, like the moment will pass. We just have to be a little proactive in in helping it. And the first step is creating safety and um leaning into connection with that with ourselves, with others, with animals, with the outdoors.

SPEAKER_01 26:01

Yeah, that's amazing because I I remember the day that I you kind of realize the thoughts are not real. They are just passing. And I know I come from a family where they would, we used to call it drown on dry land, even before you get to the ocean because they're so worried about things, but that was the thoughts and not really what happened. Right. Yeah. So anything else that you want to leave the listeners today? I don't think so.

SPEAKER_02 26:34

I'm just really grateful for the opportunity and um appreciate you letting us share a little bit about you know what we do in our practice and um, you know, share about the the star of our show at all in counseling.

SPEAKER_01 26:46

Both of you are the star of the show. Thank you very much. But thank you so much for joining us and thank you to the listeners. I this was a very special podcast for me. Um, and honestly, I'm a lot, you know, more calm right now than I have been in other ones that I've done because I'm still new to this. Great. But this episode is ultimately about connection, emotional, and safety and helping people feel less alone. So uh it was great to have Emily and Ellie here. And um I want to thank you again. And sometimes healing begins not with answers, but with connections. And so again, thank you, uh Jessica G for allowing me to step in. And um, you're terrific. So I hope I'm doing okay for you at this point. And I'll be back with a few more. And this is just in time to save a life. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 27:45

If you're struggling, remember how you think is how you feel. If you're feeling still heavy, start by shifting the thought. You're not stuck, your brain can change, so can your story. I'm Jessica G. This is the Just in Time podcast, and I'll see you next time. Until then, keep going. Never give up. And remember, the world is better with you in it, whether you believe it or not. To help reach others, please share this with your friends, family, and don't forget to like, subscribe, and donate.