Load-In & Load-Out: Are You Carrying Too Much? | Trauma Rock Stars™

Are you carrying too much? In this solo episode, Tracy introduces the Load-In & Load-Out framework — a life audit for your energy, boundaries, and everything you're carrying.

Just like a concert crew loads in and loads out, we need to review what is coming in and going out emotionally, physically, and mentally. Are you overextending yourself? This episode gives you baby steps to start auditing your energy today.

In this episode:
- What Load-In & Load-Out really means for your healing journey
- The 3 lanes of load-in — emotional, physical, and mental
- Why overextension is often a trauma response dressed up as strength
- What load-out actually looks like and why skipping it costs you
- Baby steps to start this week

Chapters: 

0:00 — Introduction & the concert metaphor
1:30 — What Load-In & Load-Out actually means
6:00 — The load-in audit: what are you carrying?
14:00 — Are you overextended?
20:00 — What load-out really looks like
27:00 — Baby steps to start today
33:00 — Life Audit™ quiz & closing

🎸 Take the free Life Audit™ at traumarockstars.com — 5 minutes and
It shows you exactly where your stage is overloaded.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
SUPPORT THE SHOW 🖤
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
☕ buymeacoffee.com/traumarockstars
🎙️ buzzsprout.com/2526063/supporters/new

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
CONNECT WITH TRACY
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
🌐 traumarockstars.com
📧 podcast@traumarockstars.com
🔗 linktr.ee/traumarockstars
📱 TikTok: @traumarockstars
🍎 Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/trauma-rock-stars/id1835876659
🎵 Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/3j8Zoy3p3Mair20q0AQbW2
▶️ YouTube: youtube.com/@TraumaRockStars
🎧 Amazon Music: music.amazon.com/podcasts/219f576b-698b-4678-b154-46370dac8617
🎙️ All Platforms: buzzsprout.com/2526063

Real Stories. Raw Truths. Rock Star Resilience™. 🎸
Trauma Rock Stars™ — hosted by Tracy Smaldino, Keynote Speaker · Host · Author

trauma healing, boundaries, life audit, energy management, trauma recovery, mental health, solo episode, people pleasing, self care, nervous system, trauma survivor, healing journey, load-in load-out, overextension, emotional health, personal growth

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey my little rock stars, Tracy here. For any of you that's new to the show, I just want to let you know I used to work for many years in the music industry, hence the name Trauma Rock Stars. I want to talk to you about a few things that are heavy on my heart that I've been thinking about lately. Back in the day when I was working in this business, every concert starts with a load-in and ends with a loadout. The crew shows up, builds everything, runs the show, and then tears everything down. They don't leave the stage standing forever. So why are we? What does that mean, you're wondering? Load-in day, there's roadies, gears, truck, so much chaos. The artists, and our lives have a load-in. What we take on and what we load out is what we release. The problem is most of us are in permanent load-in mode. Nothing ever loads out. I know I was like that forever. Today we're doing a full audit on what's on your stage and what needs to go back into the truck. In concert production, load-in is very intentional. You only bring what you need for that specific show. The band doesn't haul every piece of gear they own every night onto that stage. They curate, they protect the equipment. Loadout is just as sacred. You break it down, you rest, you recover, you prepare for the next city. Um, maybe you have a day off the next day to decompress. But what happens when the crew skips a loadout? Burnout, damaged equipment, no one can perform the next night. You guys, we are the crew and the headliner. Do you understand that? We are the crew and the headliner. We have to honor both of these roles. We are loading in every single day, emotionally, physically, mentally. And what, if anything, are we loading out? Think about it. I wasn't loading out anything. I want you to think about this. What did you take on this week that wasn't yours to carry? There are three lanes we load in: emotional, physical, mental. Each one needs its own inventory. Emotional load, which is other people's feelings, unresolved conflict you're holding, the news, social media, others' trauma, guilt you didn't earn, mental load-in, commitments you said yes to, mental to-do lists running 24-7, decisions you're avoiding, other people's problems you're trying to solve, physical load-in can also be sleep deprivation, skipping meals, overcommitting schedules. Your body is keeping score of all of the above. The real question is what you're loading in actually yours? Or did you pick it up because you thought you had to do it? Think about that. Is what you're loading in actually yours, or did you pick it up because you thought you actually had to do it? This is exactly why I created the free life audit quiz. I wonder, are you overextended? I was for years until I started healing. There was never a loadout in my life, ever. Overextension doesn't always look like falling apart. Sometimes it looks like someone who handles everything beautifully right up until they can't anymore, and it crashes down. Almost like fake it till you make it, which I think is a bunch of BS, you guys. I hate that saying. Signs your load in maybe too heavy, resentment, exhaustion, numbing, tuning people out, snapping at people you love. I've been there, all of the above. I can handle it. Is trauma survivors are often exceptional tolerators. We confuse capacity with permission. Repeat that. We confuse capacity with permission. This is a big trauma survivors modality. When was the last time you said no to something? Not because you had to, but because you wanted to protect your energy. Probably not very often. For a set list, every best band doesn't play every song every single night. They curate it. Curation is art. They tweak it for that particular show. You are also allowed to have a shorter set list. You are allowed to protect your voice for shows that mattered, people that matter, things that matter. I remember I was doing 18-hour days, advancing shows, load-ins, loadouts, sound checks, showtime, after parties, meet and greets, repeat. I would be so overwhelmed that sometimes I would just go hide under the stage and cry. I had this little corner, I would just go crawl under there and I would cry. But back then I didn't know I was overloaded. I just wiped my tears and I continued on. But I didn't just do this at work. I did this and I still catch myself doing this in my private life. So I have to hit the pause button. One thing about the loadout is loading out is not quitting. Loading out is the process that makes the next show possible. What does emotional loadout look like? Processing, naming, releasing, crying, journaling, therapy. Did I say some crying? There will be some crying. What does mental loadout look like? Saying no, delegating, removing yourself from things that aren't yours. What does physical loadout look like? Sleep, movement that restores instead of punishes, nourishment. These are all types of physical loadout. You cannot load in the next day if you never loaded out the night before. You cannot load in the next day if you never loaded out the day before. This is not a metaphor. This is biology. This is trauma science. Trauma keeps the nervous system in permanent load-in mode, always scanning, always on, never allowing the release. Recovery is learning to complete the loadout. You have to fully complete it. And it starts with one tiny little thing. Giving yourself space to heal and process is not a luxury. It is the job. You have to do this for yourself. Let's talk about baby steps because this may seem overwhelming, but stick with me. You don't overhaul the whole tour in one day. You just can't. You adjust one piece of gear at a time. So baby step number one, do a five-minute load-in inventory tonight. Just name what you're carrying. You don't have to fix it yet. Baby step number two, identify one thing you can load out this week. One commitment, one conversation, one habit. Think about that. Baby step number three. Build a micro loadout practice. Super simple. 10 minutes before bed. Name three things you're going to release before you go to sleep. Just let it go. Baby step number four. Take our free life audit quiz. It's your personal inventory of all eight areas of your life. It tells you exactly what stage you're in. It's really, really quick, you guys, literally less than five minutes. I will include the link. This is not about getting everything perfect. It's about noticing. Again, baby steps. Awareness is where change begins. Remember, you don't have to do a full loadout today. You just have to put one thing back in the truck. So load in what you're taking in versus load out, what you release and process. Remember them. Overextension is not a character flaw. It's often just a trauma response and it can change. Challenge for this week. One thing you're loading out. Just one thing. Send me a message. I want to hear from you. I want to know what you're loading out. I want to know what you're struggling with. Like the very first thing that comes to the top of your head, that's where you need to start. I really want to hear from you guys. You all are rock stars, and rock stars know when it's time to load out. I'll see you next episode. And if any of this resonated with you, stay with me because we're going to go deeper with all of these concepts. I'm dedicating entire episodes to each piece of this: the load in, the load out, the setplus, the crew, the sound check, maybe even the after party, maybe even a meet and greet. We're going to talk about all of that. What it actually means to say no, what it actually means to heal and process. We're going there, but we're going to do it together, and I'm going to be with you the entire way. So, next up in this series, we're going to talk about the load-in specifically, what you're taking in, where it comes from, and why say yes to everything. And why saying yes to everything is often a trauma response dressed up as strength. Remember what I said. Why saying yes is often a trauma response in a dress rehearsal as strength. If you want to see exactly where your stage is, take that quiz, Trauma Rockstars Life Audit quiz. You can go to the link below or you can go to traumarockstars.com. It literally takes you five minutes and it will show you everything. You're not going to want to miss this, and you're not going to want to miss what's coming up. Thank you. You are all rock stars. The content on this podcast revolves around personal life experiences and is meant to serve as a learning tool. I am not a certified therapist or medical expert. This podcast doesn't offer medical, psychological, or professional advice. If you're curious about your mental or physical well being, feel free to reach out to a licensed healthcare professional for assistance.