70 Days Between Life and Death — Her Near-Death Experience | Holly Porter

What do you see when you're at the very edge of life? In this unforgettable episode of Trauma Rock Stars™, host Tracy talks with Holly Porter, who spent 70 days in two hospitals fighting COVID in 2021 — intubated, in and out of a coma, with her organs shutting down. During that time, Holly had a series of profound out-of-body and near-death experiences that completely changed how she sees life, purpose, and what comes next.
 
Holly shares the "Stadium of Light," a life review that showed her only the good, a visit from her late mother, an army of loved ones (living and passed) chanting for her to "fight," and the single message that transformed everything: love them where they're at. She also opens up about her two hard years afterward, the hypnosis sessions that unlocked the rest of her story, and the SHIFT framework she now teaches.
 
This is a story of survival, faith, and finding your purpose — no matter what you've been through.
 
🧠 Questions We Explore in This Episode:
• What is a near-death experience really like?
• What's the difference between an out-of-body experience and a near-death experience?
• How can a brush with death reveal your true purpose?
• What does it mean to "love people where they're at"?
• How do you turn your hardest experiences into a legacy?
 
❓ Quick FAQ:
Q: What did Holly see during her near-death experience?
A: Holly describes leaving her body, traveling to what she calls the "Stadium of Light," a life review that showed her only the good moments, and being surrounded by loved ones — both living and passed — urging her to fight.
 
Q: What is the SHIFT framework?
A: SHIFT is the framework Holly teaches and writes about in her book "Near Death Shift." It stands for Surrender, Hope, Intuition, Faith, and Transformation.
 
Q: How can you find your purpose after a hard experience?
A: Holly believes you don't have to almost die to truly live. Her advice: quiet the outside noise, listen to your own intuition, and remember that changing even one life — including your own — is a purpose worth honoring.
 
Note: The spiritual experiences and beliefs Holly shares are her own, offered for reflection and hope — not medical advice.
 
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Find out exactly where you are on your healing journey in less than 5 minutes. Your personalized Rock Star 30™ guide is waiting for you on the other side.
 
"You don't have to almost die to truly live and find your purpose." 
— Holly Porter 
🌟Connect with Holly: https://hollyporterinternational.com/
 
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Trauma Rock Stars™ is a safe, real, and empowering space for anyone navigating trauma recovery. Hosted by Tracy — survivor, advocate, and your biggest cheerleader.
 
⏱️ Chapters:
0:00 — Meet Holly Porter & her 70-day fight for life
2:00 — Life before COVID & getting sick at a conference
4:25 — Walking into the hospital as her organs began to fail
6:48 — 70 days, two hospitals: intubation, sepsis & infections
7:00 — Out-of-body experiences & traveling "back in time"
11:36 — A message of support & her mother's visit
13:00 — "Fight, fight, fight": an army of loved ones, living and passed
18:51 — The Stadium of Light & her life review
21:00 — The messages: what she was told to do (and not do)
22:30 — Waking up & the "kidnap" feeling
24:00 — Two hard years & finding answers at IANDS
27:00 — The hypnosis session & the entity she calls Darby
33:00 — "Love them where they're at" — the message that changes everything
41:00 — Faith vs. spirituality after the experience
44:00 — The SHIFT framework & her book "Near Death Shift"
50:00 — Turning purpose into philanthropy & the Retreat Association
57:00 — You don't have to almost die to truly live: finding your purpose

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to Trauma Rockstars. I'm your tour guide. Before we dive into today's episode, have you taken the free Trauma Rockstars Life Audit yet? It takes less than five minutes, you guys, and it'll show you exactly where you're at in your healing journey. Go to trauma rockstars.com or click on the link below in the show notes and take it now. All right, let's rock. Everybody, this is Holly. She has had an incredible story. She had a 70-day near-death experience that has completely changed her life. And she's learned how this can teach about your leadership skills, your legacy, your life in general, how you want to be remembered, your spirituality. And she also has her own framework that helps you get through this. So I want to introduce the world and all you trauma rock stars out there to Holly Porter. Holly, thank you so much for joining.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

Thanks for having me, Tracy. Happy to be here.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Your story, I mean, when we first chatted and you told me your story, I'm just gonna let you tell the world about what happened. It's unfortunately you hear these stories that happened over the pandemic, but it's so rare that you get to actually talk to somebody that's been through it. So please share and then then we'll get into all the good stuff because you're an author. You have a lot of books, you've got a lot going on, you've got your retreat. So we'll get into all that. Or tell tell everybody what happened. I mean, I know, but the world doesn't know that my listeners. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

Well, so leading up to that, I I was always an entrepreneur. Both my parents were as well. And I always had three or four companies at a time. Even I even graduated from high school early, just thinking I I wanted three jobs and a family. And you know, I just did them all at once. So not much has changed. Now my family's raised. We have eight adult children and 19 grandkids, so we're always busy with family. But yeah, I did definitely took a shift during COVID. You know, we all have a story, we all probably lost somebody, uh, which is sad, you know. Yeah and uh I feel very blessed and I do have a lot of gratitude that I was spared, I was saved, and I know that uh I'm here for a reason and and I feel like purpose is what came out of all of it for me. And I don't want to waste a day, I don't want to waste a breath. I just want to keep moving forward. And, you know, I know we're always gonna get challenges that come up and things that we're gonna have to make big decisions on and what I call um forks in the road that we have to make choices on. We all get and it's really in the end how how we make those choices and how we come out the other end from them. And setbacks are just part of it.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

So yeah, it's life, unfortunately, but you know, it's how you handle those that helps you did it really dictates your, like you said, your legacy and how so I have so many questions, but go ahead and even like you said, leading up to when you got sick.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

Yeah. So I went to a conference, which I went to every year. Mine was in the fall of 21. So the very end of August is when I got sick. And I got sick the night before I came home and I I just had a headache and didn't feel well. I always think how many people I must have infected on that airplane. I feel so bad because I got the Delta version, which is far worse variant of any of them. And I just slept all the way home. I remember I took a nap when I got home. I remember I slept for like three hours when I got home that afternoon, evening, woke up, and I I remember telling my husband, that's the best sleep I've ever had. Like I was just like so tired. And that was kind of the beginning. Um, a couple days later, my sister encouraged me to test. Uh, I even got up like two days later in the morning, got showered. And you know when you have like when you're sick, when you had the flu, you're, I mean, I'm putting my makeup on, it's melting off my face as fast as I'm getting it on. But I had a meeting really early in the morning. Like I think the meeting was at 6 a.m. So I had to get up really early, drive to my office. I was presenting this pitch in front of nine people. I didn't want to cancel because we'd already changed the appointment a couple times. I was determined, sicker than a dog. So I did it. I just said full disclosure, I'm not feeling my best. And later that day I did test and had COVID. Never thought I would get COVID. Didn't think I was above it, but I was really healthy. I walked in the hospital on noop drugs, walked out on 12. So, like COVID doesn't care. What's that? COVID doesn't care. It doesn't discriminate. Yeah, no mercy to anybody. So I I actually was home for a week before I went because I am holistic and because I, you know, we have that fear put in us about the hospital. You go to the hospital, you die, you get on a ventilator, you die. Yeah, you know, these beliefs that were kind of true. And so I I just woke up a week later intuitively, brought it home to my husband. He was about two days behind me, but never was hospitalized. But he did have it bad and had oxygen and stuff, blood clots, things like that. But I woke him up and I just said, we have to go to the hospital now. Like I was in trouble. I mean, I I was not doing well. And he we didn't even consider like calling an ambulance. Like we were so concerned about giving giving it to anyone else. I don't know how he got us there. It was only about maybe 15, 20 minute drive, but like how he got us there was a miracle. He said, I dropped you off. I mean, it's all a blur to me. I was so I was half dead. And he drops me off at the front of the hospital. And he says, I went and parked. And he says, by the time I got back in, and we all know how long the I the ER takes, right? He said, they already had you on the way to the ICU. That's how bad you were. Like they were just like, oh, that's it, go. So my oxygen was 63 when I got there instead of 100. And uh yeah, all my organs were shutting down.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

Like it was, it was I was Were they all like suited up at that point in 2021 when you went in? Because by then it was full, it was really into it.

SPEAKER_00 5:52

Yeah, they I mean they were all masked, but like obviously the ICU. Some of the times I got I got other things. I got like infections and stuff where they were suited, like almost like hazmat to protect me, I guess, because I had things wrong that this were worse than COVID going on. So I got it all. I got every drug, every every everything you could get. Sepsis. Well, that began my first day of 70. So I was in the in two hospitals 70 days, intubated twice, trachea, sepsis, other infections. But I had some really cool experiences. I had I had a bunch of out-of-body experiences. Now I didn't know till two years after these experiences. I didn't even know there was a difference between out-of-body experiences, spiritual transformative experience, and near-death experiences. I I had no idea.

SPEAKER_01 6:39

I had Okay, so you're gonna have to explain it to us because I I have no clue either.

SPEAKER_00 6:45

Yeah. Well, yeah, I really had no clue. Now I can tell you though, knowing the difference, I can tell you exactly what was what. I can tell you when it was just a bad dream or hallucination or uh or a nightmare. Like every one of them had a different uh, I don't know what I would call it, theme or whatever. I like I could tell you, oh yeah, well, that was just a dream. Because I had some weird dreams too. But out of body is more like astral projection. And I'm not, I'm no scientist. I yeah, I'm just gonna speak what I feel, what I what I think it is, right? But it's when you you like have an out-of-type because you were literally out of your body. With me, ironically and kind of comically, I took my bed with me everywhere. I think like my brain for being a brain disease, being COVID, my brain was was kind of coherent enough that I I knew if that body in the bed didn't come with me on my journey, I might not get it back. And I think there was that fear, like, well, if I leave, I'm not gonna get it back. I'll just bring it along. So me and my bed traveled all over. The out-of-body experiences were mostly back in time. I did, I did current time several times, never in the future, never forward in time. So it was either, and when I traced it back, where I would go was this little town called Perwin, Utah, which is ironically only like 15 minutes away from me. My great-great-great-grandfather has a home there, Jesse N. Smith House, that now the city owns and it's a museum that they do tours in. I knew I had been there with my kids when they were little. We did a cousins' camp and I remember touring it. I knew it was some kind of a relative, but until I did the research later, I just didn't put all the pieces together.

SPEAKER_01 8:23

What part of Utah, Holly?

SPEAKER_00 8:25

Perrolyn, Utah. So it's southern Utah.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:28

I grew up in Vegas. So yeah, little town right outside of Cedar City. Right outside, yeah. So I'm there having all these crazy experiences. Sometimes I was so I traced it back about 165 years.

SPEAKER_01 8:41

So were these past lives? No, no, they were past lives of yours. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 8:46

It's interesting. People have asked that a lot because, and I have not, you know, that I'm not a researcher like me. I I don't overthink stuff. I'm just like, whatever the truth is, is the truth. You know, I'm just not gonna worry about it. But I I I was raised very religious. And so I never believed in past lives. Like I never was taught anything about them until probably 15 years ago. I hadn't even heard, I hadn't really heard about them. So it's interesting. Yeah, it's it's it is interesting thinking, oh, was I here before? Because 165 years ago was like pioneer times of Utah. Anyway, it's just been, yeah, that whole thing was kind of ironic. And then the spiritual experiences are just that that you're having, I think a lot of people still classify those as a near death, uh, maybe, but it was a very, very spiritual. Um, that one for me, I'll just tell that story because it's a pretty quick one. So as I'm I can tell you, like I've I've timeline when each thing happened. Like the out of body were all over the place, like they were all the time. The spiritual one was the last one I had when I knew I was gonna live. And so that all of them happened like the first three and a half weeks. The day I got the trachea was about three and a half weeks in, and that was the first day my husband was let in to even see me because he had COVID. They wouldn't let him in. So I had up one person every 24 hours, which also saved my life. So I had most of the time my two twin sisters, they would rotate every 24 hours they would stay, you know, and and be there with me. I had a daughter that came and stayed a few times, and and my bonus mom came a couple of times, you know, for a few hours because it got to be where how long is this gonna be? You know, you think in just a few days and then you're out. But it wasn't it. I mean, at one point they asked me how long, like what month do I think it was? And 30 days had gone by. I had no idea. Like that's a long time. So anyway, they they saved my life just by being there, whether it was to hold the medical staff accountable a little bit more because they were definitely understaffed and overworked and oh, I'm sure, yeah. You know, everybody was struggling their own ways. But anyway, the the spiritual one, so that was um that was really a powerful one for me. In fact, I had a painting commissioned with it. So how it went was I have a cousin, kind of a sister cousin, lived in Arizona, and she had sent a text, wasn't doing well, and she sent it to my sisters. I don't remember which one was there that day, but said, please read this to Holly. I know she's not doing well, and I want to uh I wouldn't share this kind of experience normally with, you know, in a text because it was spiritual for her, but I feel like she needs to hear it. So I they read it. The gist of it was she was praying for my husband and I and our well-being and and she was surrounded by all these spirits that had our family and asked who they were and said name by name who they were, and that, you know, basically letting me know all this support that we had for me and my husband. And I remember thinking, oh, that's so sweet, you know, whatever. And then they must have put me back in a coma. I was in a coma off and on, about 30 days of the 70. And I was happy to be there, by the way, because it was not fun not being out or not being awake was not fun. So I've laid there and I they put me back in under, and I remember being really angry. Like I was so mad. I mean, I am a redhead, but I was just like, my prayers were starting to change. I would they were they were more like, okay, it's been a long time. I'm miserable. And I'm telling God, if you're not gonna get me better, then get me out of here. Like I surrender, I'm done. You know, I'm okay. I never was afraid to die. I definitely am not now. But I was just done. And so, you know, the way I think of it as is when we get that little snotty self of ourselves in us, who usually comes and puts us in check is our mama. And my mom had passed away about a year and a half before. And she came to me several times while I was in the hospital, but she hadn't spoken to me until this spiritual transformative experience. And so I'm there, you know, being mad because why did she get that experience? I'm the one laying here suffering. Why, why don't I get that? You know, I was like kind of being a brat. So my mom came and said, you know, look, it's it's not your time to be here and you need to fight. And when she said the word fight above, again in my bed, above my bed, come all first, first just before that. My brother had died a few years prior in a really bad car wreck, left four children, his wife a year and a half before that in a horrific, really bad car wreck. So left four children, you know, orphans, and they're all adults now, but just they had passed away. I had a grandbaby that had passed away like five months before I was in the hospital. She was only a couple of days old, but she was she was an adult. I saw her as an adult, and that was really special. I knew it was her. Like it's it was cool to know that. He just came to my mom and kind of put his hand on her shoulder and kind of like, you're not supposed to be here, and I'm supporting mom, like in this one, you know? And then all these ancestors in white came above my bed, and all of them, like they just surrounded above me, and they started chanting, fight, fight, fight. And as they did that, every time they chant fight, a whole new group would come behind them. So now they're in street clothes, so I know they're living, and I'm seeing my husband and my siblings and my kids and friends, and it they just kept coming and coming, like thousands of people. And it was like such a defining moment to know, okay, like got it. I'll I I have to fight. Like that's not that I wasn't, but it was like so defining that you have all this support. You have all these people you don't even know, which by the way, I think were all the prayer lists I was on. I was seeing all the people that all the people had put on church and prayers and you know, friendless and whatever all over the world because we were still pretty shut down with COVID and everybody was hanging on to social media.

SPEAKER_01 14:35

So you so you're saying you you feel like you actually got to see your prayer group in front of you come in like almost like an army of people. That's incredible.

SPEAKER_00 14:47

It was like we got you. It was it was just like such a I was just like, got it. Okay. It wasn't an easy journey back, and I knew it wouldn't be, but yeah, like I knew I was gonna live. It was like so defining for me. And so the painting is actually only I could have 26 people. It was so hard. It took me eight months to get it all ready to get it painted because it and it's huge, it's like six foot by four foot, and it's in one. Yeah, it's huge. I mean, the heads are full-size heads anyway. It's big, probably means nothing to anybody but me, but the painting's called fight. So that was that was that experience, but yeah.

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SPEAKER_01 15:20

And were

(Cont.) 70 Days Between Life and Death — Her Near-Death Experience | Holly Porter

SPEAKER_01 15:21

you and you knew all these people, right? No, only a lot of them you did were just pe random people that were praying for you.

SPEAKER_00 15:29

That's why I think that they were the prayer lists I was on because people all over the world were praying for me. I was getting messages. I mean, the stuff even like this last year, so it's been four over four years. I I've sent off random emails that didn't get deleted. I've just seen like all messenger stuff, like that just randomly pops up of stuff that I never had seen before. It was like when my sisters would put an update, social media anywhere from two to four hundred comments per post. Like, and they weren't just like prayer hands, get better. They were yeah, because you know why?

SPEAKER_01 16:03

Everybody was suffering, so there everybody and every yeah, and that was that's as horrific as it was for the world to have to go through that. That really brought us together. Like we were all praying for each other for complete strangers that you don't even know. And yeah, you know, and it really it it did, and it's different now, but we did have that moment that we got to experience that in our lifetime. So there was and the fact that you got to see all of them is amazing.

SPEAKER_00 16:35

So amazing. It just wow, you know, very so I have a very unique story to that because what I saw in the near death was like a to be continued two years later when I did a hypnosis session on it. So that was like so powerful because it was like I got the rest of the story and I got told more will be revealed to you when the time is right. Yeah. So the near-death experience was was very interesting. So I am going uh in my bed again and I'm leaving my room, which my sister said I never left that room. I had surgeries in there and everything for the whole time I was there. And I went like, yes, I did. I went everywhere, you know. So I'm leaving my room, I'm going down the hallway in my bed, and uh first thing I noticed is other beds are going down the hallways, and I think those were people dying because half the people were dying when I was in the hospital that were there. I think they were other people that were leaving as well. And I remember leaning up and shaking my finger at the reception area, the nurse station, whatever, saying, I rescind my DNR, I rescind my DNR, so do not resuscitate. So I must have, again, consciously knew I'm headed somewhere I don't want to go, you know. So I'm telling them that, and then they roll me down to where I end up being like the only way I can explain it, I call it the stadium of light, but like a huge, way bigger than a football stadium, like the biggest stadium you've ever seen. And all the beds got pushed into like the sky boxes because we were in beds. And then then there was like this pause of time, and I all of a sudden I end up in the stadium of light. I'm out of my bed, and there's like hundreds now, not just the thousands that I saw before. It was hundreds and thousands of people. I could see feet, so I knew nobody, I knew they were floating, I knew they weren't like sitting in in a stadium or anything. But the light was so bright that it was like almost a miracle that I could see through it. It was it was interesting because it was like fog, but it was so clear. I mean, so back in my hospital bed, I'm I'd lost all five senses from COVID taste and smell. The ventilator took 90% of my hearing away. Everybody sounded like the Charlie Brown school teacher, you know.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:38

My sight, I already am legally blind. So without my contacts or glasses, I couldn't see who anyone was unless they were about eight inches in front of my face. And they tie your hands to the bed when you're on the ventilator so you won't pull it out. So, like all senses were gone. So it was like I get here and my senses are on fire. I mean, they are spidey senses. I could, I could just, I mean, you would look at someone and it was like the gift of knowing. Now it's the gift of all knowing. You would know before you even finish the thought you have the answer. And it was just to let tell to let the be so fast. And so not even a negative thought could enter, enter anywhere, like because it was so full of light, you know. And then I saw my live review, and my live review only showed me good. I was like just enjoying that. It was like watching it like a play. Later, I asked why when I had my hypnosis session. But at that time, you don't think to ask anything like that.

SPEAKER_01 19:33

You're just in you are so not because you're rolling with it, and yeah, you're not it, you're not conscious. Oh, it's not like who cares about the bad. Let me take some notes. Hold on a second.

SPEAKER_00 19:46

You do like that that process doesn't even enter.

SPEAKER_01 19:49

Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_00 19:51

So then I was told two things. Then I was told to that company that I pitched to that I was sharing earlier about. So they had a billionaire backer, and I was gonna partner this new company with them. And I was told not to. I was told that's not the highest and best thing for the company, that it needed to stay mine and don't do it. I was also told to go and start a nonprofit called Adventure Bucket Wish, but no mission. So I come back. Um I didn't get a choice, I just got sent back. Um, I would have stayed, I am pretty sure. And I tell people all the time, for loved ones that didn't come back, I can tell you that I don't know why they would have. You know, you're in a much better place there. And uh but I but I got sent back. So when I wake up, my sister is in the room with me, and I have to communicate and I can't talk. So I have to communicate through an alphabet, and I was very weak. Like, I don't even know how I ever did that. So they said it took forever to even get a word out. She said I could tell that you were really like unsettled. And so she gets it out and I start spelling K I D. She's all wanting to help me. Can I do you need me to tell your kids something? And I must have shook my head or something. And she's like, Okay, you kept going N A P. And she's like, When you spelled kidnap, she says, I wanted to grab the garbage can I throw up in it because I was like, they were so protective over me, but I was doing better, so she ran an errand. She's like, What happened while I was gone? You know, and she goes, As soon as you got that communicated to me, the nurse and the doctor walked in to exhibate me because I was doing better. That was the first exhibation, and they took it out, and she says, Then you could talk. Not very well, but you could talk. And she's like, You had a lot to say. And I'm sure there were spirits still in the room. I think three, which ironically, someone told me the other day, they think that was my my brother and sister that passed away, my mom. I thought, yeah, no, you're probably right. Because I I don't know who it was, but I wasn't afraid of them. But I kept thinking, why did it why am I feeling kidnapped? Like, why I could tell quickly no one saw him but me because my sister was opening the doors, the drawers, you know, yeah, closet, showing me nobody's in there. So fast forward a couple years to the rest of that part of the Story, I end up I have two years of complete and utter hell. I call my two years of hell. Like everything, every bad day that you've ever had times it by a hundred, and that's how heavy it was every day. I prayed every day I would have died. Everything was going wrong. Relationships were were jeopardized, you know, kids' stuff were awful. It just we were dealing with a lot of heavy stuff. And I was just coming out of that after the two years when I went to the IANS, which is International Association for Near Death Studies conference. And I went there, and that's how I found out about these other experiences that I had, that there was a name for them. And I started learning a lot. And I was getting better finally. I was kind of pulling out of that. So I asked my friend who had certified me for hypnosis. It's been 10 years now, but back then it was this is four years ago, or sorry, two and a half years ago. I asked him if he would do a hypnosis session on the near-death experience. And he said, Yeah, okay, let's do it. So we did that, and it was just like uncovering so much. I think, I think I was, I was ready to hear more. I don't think I could have handled emotionally, physically, mentally, what I got. I still am getting like parts of the story. People say it takes 10 years to unravel everything that you go through. We I did start the nonprofit right away before the two years can't started. I had incorporated my company, Richard R, Adventure Bucket Wish Foundation, nonprofit, and was working on all that while I was going through this two years of ick. You know, God had his hands in so many things for me. That's who my higher power is, whoever it is for anyone else I respect. But like to know, you just get these drippings, and and it's just that it's just so amazing to keep getting it, you know. I feel so blessed that the rest of the story's coming. You know, it's not that I wasn't smart enough to handle it all. It's that there was a lot there to unpack. And I I gotta take it a little at a time. And that's not my behavior. My behavior is I want to know everything now, I want to do everything now, I want everything now.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:55

And that's not, I'm so at peace. Like I until last year, I could have never said I even knew what peace was. I had never felt true peace in my life. That's a long time. I'm in my 50s, and it was like I never felt like I had a true purpose.

SPEAKER_01 24:10

So why until last year?

SPEAKER_00 24:13

Well, I think because I was unpacking everything I was going through, um, went through the two years of hell. Before that, you know, you don't know what you don't know. Yeah. I I think I was in survival mode. I mean, I look back at when I was raising, you know, seven teenagers at one time in the house. And I just think I was Rotary International president and I was over 1400 soccer kids. I was working real estate pretty much full time. I owned a salon and spa. My husband owned a concrete company. Like there was a lot of stuff going on. Like, talk about survival. I was never present.

SPEAKER_01 24:45

Right.

SPEAKER_00 24:45

I was just in this just this space where get it done, get it done, get it done, and chaos and crisis and you know, saving for rainy days, it's pouring every day. You know, it just that's just the chaos we lived in, and I didn't know any different. So I didn't how do you feel peace in that? So I think when did you calm down?

SPEAKER_01 25:03

When did you have that hypnosis hypnosis session?

SPEAKER_00 25:06

About two and a half years ago.

SPEAKER_01 25:08

Okay, which probably helped.

SPEAKER_00 25:10

So so let me share a couple of things that came out of that game changer. Like I hate to compare it to a near-death experience, but it almost was.

SPEAKER_01 25:19

Well, because I since you and I talked last, I had I had a hypnosis session, my first. Oh, how'd that go? Since we it similar to what yeah, I think you're about ready to describe. I'll tell you about it. But I want it this is about you, so I want to hear your story.

SPEAKER_00 25:33

I I can't wait to hear yours. So okay, so we do the hypnosis. So where it ends up, I didn't get to the stadium of light until the end of the whole process, which by then it had been like an hour and 40 minutes. So he pulled me out. So I didn't get experience the best part of the stadium of light again, much anyway. So he takes me and I end up in this in-between. So it's not dark and it's not light, and the darks on the right side and the lights on the left side, and all this like remember all the fog I said I saw, but it was so bright you could see through it. Yes now it's like cloudy, like dirty colors. It's like colors I can't explain, but you know, silver and cobalt and black and gray, and they're all swarming around. And they would form, like the energy of it would form in two, get together, and it would form a heart, and the heart would float to the left. And I remember thinking, gosh, even in the even in the dark, even the dark is attracted to the light, you know? Yeah. It's representative love. Well, we ended up realizing there's an entity in there. We're actually going to do another session. We've been talking about it, we've got a different plan now. Because now we've seen what we needed to, and now that we're ready for more. But he he we talked to an entity, and his name was Darby. And Darby took me. He so when I was in the Stadium of Light, this is what I picture now happened, and I was very vulnerable before I got when I was in like the skybox part and I was dying, took me. So it's like he was waiting for me to be vulnerable enough. I remember now he was in a couple of my out-of-body experiences. I didn't remember that till last year when I was writing the book, which I didn't put that in there because it just happened and I was like, I'm gonna leave that part out right now.

SPEAKER_01 27:06

Right. Well, you could always write another book.

SPEAKER_00 27:08

Yeah, it was just some creepy stuff. So anyway, we talked to him, he couldn't go to the light, he couldn't have it, he wanted it, so he took mine. Well, he couldn't keep mine. So as we're sitting there going through this banter, and my hypnosis friend is saying to him, He's he and he's got my back. Like it felt good. He was like, You stole it from her, you didn't earn that. That's not yours. And I mean, they're gonna lie about it. And I'm just sitting there, and all of a sudden the light, I could feel the light and the heat on my face. And Darby says, I'm the light's gonna come together, and I'm not gonna be able to stop it. So basically, it I feel like I had a he took me and I had to have a spiritual intervention to get back. And I think that's what happened, you know. And so maybe there's more pieces to that. That's fine. Like, so anyway, eventually he lets me go. I go forward and over to the right hand side, there's this one eye on a mountain, way far away. Saw it twice. I feel like it was some kind of a protector. I haven't got the rest of that yet, but I know it was there to protect me. And then I go forward and I see a tree, and the tree uh brought me so much peace. That was like the first time, really, I think I felt that peace, true peace. Because when I was creating, one of the things I was told not to do is partner with that company, do it myself. So I was doing the branding and I said to the marketer guy, I said, My logo needs to have a tree in it. Like I no one questioned why. I didn't question why. I never even gave it hardly any thought. I just like I knew that he comes back and my logo has 11 leaves and 11 roots. One, one, one, one. Which was also the day I got out of the hospital, which one's my birthday. There's a bunch of things around that number for a lot of people. So I was like, wow, I never changed one thing on that logo. We we left it. That's what it is. So then I see that and I realize that was like a God gift. It was like you didn't even remember this part of your near death, and you went and did what I asked you to and created that logo. It was like I saw the tree to bless me. It was kind of like you listened, you know, well done. So then I get over to the light now and I am seeing the matter turn the the really light colors again. And I'm seeing those hearts like pink, pink rose quart type hearts. And my nonprofit, that was the other thing I was told to do when we had a gay love fundraiser. I was was uh doing the little gift bags for everybody, and I knew intuitively that each bag needed to have a rose colored, rose-colored quart stone in it, heart in it. And then I see them and I'm like, it was kind of the same thing. It was like, here's your gift. You you listened, you did what you were asked to, and yeah, it's part of the story, you know. So that was like brought me a lot of peace. So then I'm seeing the life review again. Then I remembered to ask, why am I not seeing the bad? I've done plenty of bad. Why am I not seeing the bad? And I did not hear God. He spoke to me clear as day. He said, I'm showing you the good because that's what matters. And I just thought, of course you are, you know, that is what matters.

SPEAKER_01 30:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:09

And then he gave me a message that if I would have remembered two years before that, I wouldn't have, I I believe I wouldn't have gone through that two years of hell, which now I know were lessons I needed to learn for the philanthropy I'm doing in the future. I had to go through that. And it was the message was, and the words were love them where they're at. And I thought that would have changed my reaction. It would have taken the judgment out of everything I was doing. It it just would have changed the energy around it all. Part of me was mad I didn't get that because I went through that two years a hell. But now looking back, I'm like, what a blessing. Like, what a blessing to get it when I did. And that message I know has helped a lot of other people because I read a lot of comments when I've said that on shows. It just it changes it. It just, if we just love people where they are, it just it changes the energy around it.

SPEAKER_01 30:58

Yeah, I I I've had to learn that a lot recently too. You have to, you can't look at who you want them to be, who they were, who you think they could be, what they say they think they could be or they want to be. It uh it it's exactly where they're at.

SPEAKER_00 31:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

And and I've had to learn that very hard lately, you know.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

I'm not saying it's easy. I still work at it. Yeah, yeah, it's a lot of things I just saw on a business cruise. I met him a year ago and I just got back from the business cruise again in Song, and we were having a nonprofit meeting. I put a little nonprofit group together there, and and he brought it up again. So he's brought it up four or five times in the last year to me. He just said, I'll never forget that message you told me. Because what he what the reason I was telling him, we stayed up really late one night and was chatting about everything, and I was giving him my story. And he was telling me he literally used the word hate. He said, He's a therapist, so he's had to, you know, work with people that had really, really bad things happen to them. And he used the word hate. He said, I hate those people, you know, for what they've done to them. And and so I kind of told him that story. When I gave him that message, he he messaged me back the next morning and he said, You've changed my life. He said, Those words have changed my life. You're right. It isn't my it is not up to me. I'm gonna love them where they're at, you know. And he just took that word right as vocabulary, and it felt good to have him say it even in a couple texts throughout the year. And then again in this meeting we were in, he just said, Yeah, it changed everything about the way I feel about it. And I thought, uh, okay, because I mean there's there's a big difference in energy from love to hate, hate to love.

SPEAKER_01 32:35

Huge. But that's just another tool that the like you said, your higher power, God is using you for to spread to like just that one conversation changed his whole outlook on things. Yeah. I'm going through something similar to that right now. I need to remember that myself. Yeah, I'll do. You know, it's so I mean it's it it it's so powerful to think that way. When you when you came out day say day 70, 71 with your your whole, it was a a nightmare for you. Yes. How did you remember everything right away because you were so medicated? I mean, how how long was it before you could really like process? I can't even imagine.

SPEAKER_00 33:23

Well, I knew like the way the things I was saying, I I remember being shocked that as intuitive as my sisters were with me, that they weren't putting it together that I was having like a near-death experience. And I know I don't think they really like I because I was saying stuff, but later I was listening to my like I in the Stadium of Light, I was talking about, you know, the all this music and and these this choir of angels, they sounded like angels. And I mean all the stuff I'm saying later. I'm listening to myself, going, how could anyone not figure that out? But maybe they didn't understand me. Maybe I wasn't talking very much. I don't I don't know. I remember I was talking a lot.

SPEAKER_01 34:01

Well, you were, I mean, you were still very highly medicated. Oh, I was oh so medicated.

SPEAKER_00 34:05

Can you believe? I mean, I walked out of that hospital, I wasn't addicted on anything. I was on 12 drugs, but it was for all the body things happening. But I mean, it was a miracle that I never got, you know, like addicted to anything. Right. I my body, I'm a redhead, so we metabolize totally different than people. I don't know if you knew that.

SPEAKER_01 34:23

No, but I actually didn't know that.

SPEAKER_00 34:25

Yeah, if you're a redhead, you make sure you tell your dentist the Novocaine's different, anesthesiologists need to know really a lot of redheads are awake during their surgery surgeries and nobody knows it. Isn't that awful?

SPEAKER_01 34:36

Even wait, even with anesthesia?

SPEAKER_00 34:39

Yeah, they they still my dad had that experience, and I said, Dad, have you never told him that you're a redhead? He didn't know that. This was a few years ago.

SPEAKER_01 34:45

So is this like a known thing with doctors?

SPEAKER_00 34:48

Like, yeah, it's very common now. I think I think I don't I mean, I don't know if everyone knows it. So do you have to get like extra anesthesia? Takes a lot, it takes extra pain medication. So, like, for instance, my one daughter was with me in the hospital, and she said they were like overdosing me and withdrawing me at the same time. They were giving me fentanyl and oxycodone. And she said they were giving you fentanyl every hour because she says I was sitting there and you were fine, and all of a sudden your eyes rolled back in your head and your heart rate went to like 168. She's like, I knew you were dying. And she yelled at the nurse who was in there and she's like, I'll never forget his face, the fear in his eyes, because that's all she could see, you know, because of the mask and everything. She just said he looked so scared, and whatever he did got me back on track. But she said they were the fentanyl they were giving me every hour, and my body was metabolizing every 20 minutes. So it's kind of like they were withdrawal overdose, withdrawal overdose, and then yeah, it but I mean, they don't know.

SPEAKER_01 35:45

Just I know, but I were practicing everything. I just learned something new. So do you think because you being a redhead is why you got it so bad?

SPEAKER_00 35:54

I don't know because I was never sick. Like the fact that I got it all surprised me.

SPEAKER_01 35:59

You got it all in 70 days, and then the years following it, it you got it all.

SPEAKER_00 36:04

Well, and then I got the long COVID after that, and I got all the diagnoses started stacking up after.

SPEAKER_01 36:10

And you survived sepsis.

SPEAKER_00 36:12

Yeah, I did.

SPEAKER_01 36:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:13

And I had a I had some other infection that you get when you're I can't even tell you the name of it. We studied it when I did my book because it came down to two names, and I sent it to everybody that was involved, said which one sounds like it, and they all separately said the same, yeah, that's one. I was like, okay, I guess we can we can say honestly that was it. But yeah, it was something you get when you're on intubation that it was rare, but of course I got it, you know. Yeah. So they said that would have taken me out way more than COVID. Like they were shocked that didn't get me. There was there was a lot. And I mean Desavir had just started that protocol when I got in there. I didn't get intubated for four days. I'm kind of thinking, I'm kind of thinking I was refusing because you know, back then we we just figured you go on the ventilator, that's it. But well, I'd have a choice.

SPEAKER_01 37:00

Well, and I know, and and it is it is scary to think about going on a ventilator like with me, because you know, I work in healthcare. And um, you know, I know that when, you know, the ECMO ventilator system, most people that have to be put on that only, I think statistically, only 50% will survive. I had a friend that's the ECMO, I mean That's scary. It's scary, but yes, you need it. You need it.

SPEAKER_00 37:28

Yeah, I wasn't on that, but my friend I interviewed was, and she had a baby during all that. She didn't get to see her baby for three months. She was in the hospital for four. So she goes in, has a baby, and is on the ECMO, and she was on the ventilator, she was on everything anyway.

SPEAKER_01 37:43

So she woke up and was realized she had a child.

SPEAKER_00 37:46

She couldn't sleep and break, obviously. But yeah, I think she was eight months when she went in. So the husband literally is home thinking his wife's dying every day with the newborn. Brand new baby, first baby. I mean, just with the story, it was unbelievable. And they're doing great. In fact, I think she's pregnant again. So the little guy's five. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:05

Uh how do you I I know you I know you grew up, you were very religious and you know, and everything growing up with your faith, but how is how is that different now than before this?

SPEAKER_00 38:19

Yeah. Well, I would have said before I was more religious spiritual, and now I think it's flip-flopped. I feel like a lot more spiritual than religious. You know, my beliefs are different in the fact that, you know, like I feel like for me, I don't have to be to church, I don't have to be at church to know I have a relationship with God. You know, whereas before it was like showing up was part of it for me. It's just like there's just some shifts in beliefs. It's like it's just different now. There's a lot I'd love to explore, you know. Like I said, I don't overthink anything. I just go with the flow. I know I have these assignments. I know, I mean, I'm grateful in the fact that I got like, you know, I never felt trauma before. If you're in the hospital at any ICU at any time, from my understanding, you you have PTSD, you have trauma. I never had anxiety. That was out the roof. I mean, you can't breathe. What do you do when you can't breathe? You have anxiety, you know. It was it was a scary, terrifying thing. I was really happy when when I was induced in a coma because like I said, I just I my senses were gone a lot of the times. Yeah. It was just it was just a scary place. Plus, I was visiting some pretty cool things, you know. I had I had some other I had some cool stuff happen. So Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:31

Did you get all did you get your senses back?

SPEAKER_00 39:34

I did. Yeah. In fact, I remember having my my sma my I was gonna combine taste and smell. Taste and smell, yeah. I I got those back in the hospital because I remember being super hungry. Like I was on, I was on a ventilator total of 52 days, coma in and out like 30 and like 63 on a feeding tube. So like I was eating and still had that feeding tube in for like a week. I think it just just whatever. It was awful. That was like the best day when I got that thing out, and um, and when I could eat real food, like I was so hungry, but something was off with I I had hypoglycemia before a little bit. So like that something was off because I remember feeling like they were literally starving me. This is like at the end of this day, and I was so hungry. I was like, I don't know what is going on, but I am so hungry. And it was like they couldn't do stuff because of reasons. I don't know, but I just I feel like you're just sitting in the hospital suffering and they're starving you.

SPEAKER_01 40:30

Yeah, I you know, let's shift gear, let's shift gears, pardon the pun a little bit. Talk about your shift framework and and and all that so the listeners can understand because this whole experience has molded this work for you.

SPEAKER_00 40:51

Yeah, really has. So I knew so I think I had 13 books of my own four anthologies I was part of when I got out of the hospital. And then I've been on part of some other anthologies, and I knew when I came out I had two more books to do, which I was kind of mad about, I have to say, because I like was kind of done with that. That ship selled. I was like, I got enough. I mean, how many times do you have to have a be an author? Like that wasn't like, oh, this is my lifelong dream. I never felt like I was a writer. So I was like, okay, I got two. All right. One's the story of the near desk stuff, and and now it's done. Thank heavens, check. And then later, much later, I'm hoping, not much later, but at least a few years, the next book's all the philanthropy work that's coming out of it, because that's really my mission. And that's my why. And my why really changed. I've always been more heart-centered, people-centered, more than money. But now it's like I see the bigger picture where it's going to take the money to do the philanthropy that I need to do. Yeah. That shift is like, okay, well, let's create the money so I can do the philanthropy. Because honestly, I just want to be a chick writer. I feel like I live that ick and I know what it is I want to do and I need to do, but it's going to take a lot of money to do it. And I don't want to roll up my sleeves and I feel like I already did that. I'm just like, nope, there's other people that are pros at that. I just want to say, how much do you need? Let's write anyway. That's that's my like end game. And um, that being said, the book came out. It it was such a transition for me while I was doing it. I put kind of my company on hold. It's a software company, retreat RR. It hadn't got developed yet. I needed another million to finish it right. So then I started working on phase two, which was buying and selling luxury retreat properties. And then I realized, oh my gosh, my book's supposed to come out November 11th, one, one, one, one of last year. So I literally stopped everything and just got it finished and set my deadline. And then while I was writing it, the book title changed that I had had for two years. That was so it's called Near Death Shift. It was a different title for a couple of years. And I was, I struggled with that because I was, I'm not, I'm not one that's really gets attached to stuff, but I just felt like that was it for so long. And now I feel like it's a retreat program, the other title. And this this title came up. SHIFT wasn't part of the acronym in the beginning. So it just like kind of all evolved as I was writing the book. Yeah. I would get edits back. So at one point I realized pretty early on in this process last year that it needed to be two part. I wanted, I didn't have a spiritual book, and I I'm really into personal development. So I thought, okay, let's have a spiritual part one, personal development part two. Then people are learning from what I'm teaching, right? So I knew that was supposed to happen and I would get the second half back edits from my editor, like I was reading them for the first time. It was so eye-opening. It was like I'd read it like I wrote that. Like you had God's hand in it so much. So while I'm in this space writing the book, the SHIFT acronym, real quick, is surrender, hope, intuition, faith, and transformation. Ironically, I'm hearing shift everywhere now. It's kind of like you buy a car and then everybody has it. Kind of that thing, it's like you use the word shift, now everybody's using it.

SPEAKER_01 43:58

Well, because it's started be your universe. universe now.

SPEAKER_00 44:01

And it's and I'm hearing it everywhere. Like people are teaching it and and it's fine. That's fine. That shows you it's time, you know, for all of this. So I knew that I was working on that. And all of a sudden I'm it's in a really spiritual place with this book. And I get a download about International Retreat Association. And I'm like, what? You know, with shiny object and I was really, really doing good at keeping all shiny objects out of my out of my way right then. Which never happened. I knew I could do it now. So I was like, what? So I went down the rabbit hole enough to know it was retreat related because my other company was a retreat company. We did all kinds of things for retreats. Well I was like okay association I'm part of the National Association of Realtors, Utah builders, coaching, you know, I've so I've been part of associations. I know how important they are. So I'm like went down the rabbit hole just enough to realize with two to three million estimated retreat leaders in a $363 billion industry, there is not an association for them to belong to for that ecosystem at all, which is everybody in the retreat industry. Thank you, provider service, retreat leaders, everyone. I was like, huh, okay, I'm listening, you know, I'm like, yeah. Then I was like, all right, stop, stop, stop, get your book done. You're going to miss your deadline. So then I just said, okay, God, I will do what you want me to do, but don't let me miss my deadline. Let me just get this behind me. So I got the book done. And then in December I turned around and incorporated the International Retreat Association. And we're launching the end of April now of 2026, the like the essential membership and the founding memberships and working with my leadership council to get right people on it and like to build something that big like I feel so blessed to know that God gave that idea to so many people, I guarantee you. Why he didn't know it, I don't know. Doesn't matter. I'm doing it. And it's like wow the people it's going to bless an industry that is so big, that is international, that is going to change so many lives. And if COVID did anything for us, it taught us we want community. We want to build need it. We need it. Yeah. And so I'm just like so excited where it's going to go. I'm here to support that ecosystem. I'm not here to compete with it. Even though Retreat RR, my company, has some competitive things with you know other people doesn't matter right now. I just put all that on hold. I just literally went all into the association and I'm I just can't believe the great feedback. Like people are so excited for it and I'm here for it. I'm just like what can we do to make this better? And in the end, it'll create all my philanthropy work you know and and it also goes really well with the nonprofit. They can integrate together there's just so many things that are to know that you're doing something that's so much bigger than you've ever done and to have no imposters in your mind. Like I've always had that anything I've done I've always questioned we all do.

SPEAKER_01 47:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:04

But I don't in this it's not because I don't care I care more I think. Yeah to know that it's like a God given gift of an idea and so needed and so world changing. It just it feels I've never felt something so more right.

SPEAKER_01 47:19

That's incredible. I mean I well we we talked about it I definitely want to be a part of it myself because I that's a really it's an amazing platform. So is it for people that are looking for retreats starting retreats creating um a space for that like who would be a good fit for for that membership?

SPEAKER_00 47:43

So when we say the retreat ecosystem that is anyone that is wanting to do retreats because you're an association so you're not an attendee necessarily right an attendee that wants to be a retreat leader and come join us. Right. So your retreat leaders your venues your service providers which could be you know speakers coaches uh people that do sound healing chefs like that whole system of people software providers or networking it sounds like a networking tool financial planners I mean a retreat anything can be done on a retreat think of a business and you could do a retreat around it right so like when I say the ecosystem I literally mean anybody that wants anything to do with retreats should be part of this. And the essential membership that was another thing for me remember it wasn't it's about the heart it's about the people yeah it's $111 for the whole year.

SPEAKER_01 48:39

$111 there's your your 11th course.

SPEAKER_00 48:42

Yeah. And so it's affordable for anyone to be part of it at that level and we'll have tiers that we'll bring out later but there'll be some founding memberships we're only going to have a hundred of those and those are actually really affordable as well. But I just I feel like it's going to just fill so many holes as we move along.

SPEAKER_01 48:58

That's incredible. Well you definitely you know share it with people like me so I can share it with my followers and listeners and people I know that you know of course are going to want to I I know some people that are putting retreats together right now that this would be great for them because it'll be a you know a great platform a landing page almost right yeah well if they can just hang tight obviously we can't do everything at once.

SPEAKER_00 49:25

No I want to but I'm I'm building it different than I've built any other company I've had. But yeah they they uh if they're a retreat leader it's great to just get in there if they're a business in the retreat industry I I would definitely suggest to get a founding membership because they're going to sit on the website there forever. Like there's only right right so like that's a really good place for venues and and service providers people that are doing doing business with retreat people. I think they're going to go really fast. They're going to go probably faster than I think. And I'm okay with that you know but I I don't I want to make them affordable I I want people to just really come into lockarms and grow this thing and if there's two to three million retreat leaders in the world I mean let's let's get a percentage of them in there.

SPEAKER_01 50:04

That's a lot that's a lot of yeah there is there is I want to just I'm gonna shift gears again there's the word did you mention that you are a hypnotherapist now yeah I got certified 10 years ago okay because I did not know that I didn't have that in my notes.

SPEAKER_00 50:22

Yeah I don't I don't really I don't really advertise it. A few months ago I kind of felt a little called to work with people on their near death experiences and I I haven't put it out there too much but those are the ones that I think I would love because I just know how powerful they are and and I think you know I I would hate for someone to relive like a hellish experience because there's those two but all the ones I've heard that are the hellish it seems like in the end they come around to the right side you know it's like they're almost mirroring something that they needed to learn and that's what they're seeing is the evil and then they get to the good it just I don't know those are the stories I've I've kind of heard so I guess I would even do one on one of those but yeah I I definitely like working with the light.

SPEAKER_01 51:04

For sure. Well for people that are listening that might you know they've gone through their own stuff um but they they want to turn it into like you said it's all about our purpose now and our calling whatever you want to however you want to defy it like what advice would you give to those people because it sounds like like when you were telling me about your book like you're like I I was like reading it for the first time like that was not an accident.

SPEAKER_00 51:33

No it was wild.

SPEAKER_01 51:34

I mean many of those chapters when I would look at the edits I was like yeah so what would you say to somebody that's like trying to find their purpose and try to turn their experiences into something that yeah you know they might not have anywhere to start.

SPEAKER_00 51:50

I okay so I'm in my 50s and I never felt like I had a purpose till I almost died. And so I definitely tell people you don't have to almost die to truly live and figure out your purpose. That was my experience right I had to be have extreme God had to put me in a coma so I'd sit still and listen because I'm I'm the same way.

SPEAKER_01 52:07

It's got to be extreme with me with everything. I'm the same.

SPEAKER_00 52:10

But a lot of people you know what I think okay so this has come to me a lot lately and I'm gonna just repeat it here too. Like I think of it this way if there's let's say let's use a mom because women seem to have a lot more of these kinds of challenges feeling like they're not enough. You know I mean men get it too but women a lot where was I enough am I enough? Am I doing enough? Am I leaving a legacy do I have a purpose? What is my purpose? Those are so many questions I believe, I believe I had them that a lot of people have well think about it. Okay mine is a world changer I will say I got gifted a legacy piece that I really feel like is big. But guess what? What if you are a stay at home mom and you're thinking I just I have nothing I have no purpose but maybe your child in your home is the next president of the United States and it's your job to be there to raise them how they need what standards and morals and ethics and and that's your job. How big of a legacy net is it now like I'm just thinking some people think so small right and they they're insignificant but what if what if that was the case? So to think of it on just a different way like people's purpose do not have you can change one person and that's your calling. Right and it might be you that you're changing right yeah but what if it's you what if the life you saved because you figured something out you know so I think we beat ourselves up and we think oh it's gotta be so hard and it's got to be so much bigger than what we what we wanna we wanna believe it's bigger and maybe it's not maybe it's so simple and that's okay. And then you have to know that's okay and just know it. I think I think people know everybody has intuition everybody.

SPEAKER_01 53:51

Yes I was just gonna say that I think you need to people just need to listen to that more and you're talking about moms like so busy. Moms are so busy they're trying to be a woman and a partner and a parent and a whatever sister brother you know sometimes the breadwinner because they're single so they're mom and the dad and the breadwinner and there's a lot of hats being worn. They're probably don't have time to even get in touch with their intuition you know but when you shift it like that like you've got this little person maybe maybe that's your purpose is to help them figure out what their purpose is even maybe it's not the next president. Maybe they're not going to cure cancer but maybe it's just so they find you help guide them to find their purpose maybe.

SPEAKER_00 54:38

Yeah. And what if they are someone who ends up being let's just say they end up being this great therapist that saved hundreds of lives from other people committing suicide.

SPEAKER_01 54:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:47

And I mean who knows? Like it could it's a ripple effect that we just don't realize you think it's insignificant when it's not it there there's more to it and I think if people will just give themselves credit a little bit more realizing that I mean I I had so many people tell me I can help you figure out your purpose oh yeah I hired spent tens and tens and thousands of coaches and yeah nobody really they can help you. Yeah they can guide you but really you have to figure out what that's like for you and don't listen to everybody else. Turn off the noise.

SPEAKER_01 55:18

Yeah listen to turn off the noise. Perfect Holly this is so awesome thank you for sharing your very um personal experience with us because I I'm fascinated by it myself. So I know a lot of people are going to so thank you so much um your Trum Rock star girlfriend um and welcome to the fam and thank thank you again thank you so much appreciate you if any of this resonated with you please share with anybody that this story might you know interest or it might spark them to talk about their experiences or just share for hope. This is like a story of hope. So please like subscribe share we want to hear your comments we want to know what you want to hear what you liked what you didn't like and remember you are a trauma rock star. The content on this podcast revolves around personal life experiences and is meant to serve as a learning tool. I am not a certified therapist or medical expert. This podcast doesn't offer medical psychological or professional advice if you're curious about your mental or physical well being feel free to reach out to a licensed healthcare professional for assistance.