Episode 17: "what am i, bagged meat?"

Emma shares her thoughts on the new season of Blue Therapy on Netflix 📺 and Lydia tells a cute story from her latest nail shop appointment 💅

We also chat about Sarah J. Maas announcing two more books in the A Court of Thorns and Roses series. Spoiler warning ⛔️ skip from 21:35–39:57 if you’re still reading 📚

Then we get into this week’s dilemmas: is being single always a choice? And is it okay to still miss your ex? Expect opinions, oversharing, and the usual chaos. 🎙️

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:16

Happy Thursday. How are we? I hope we're all doing well. Emma, how are you feeling, babes? Girl, this weekend I've been rotting. She has she's been relaxing. Yeah. Rotting's a negative. I would say mine and Livell Liv Livell's Lydia's levels of productivity have been like night and day. She's like whizzing around the flat, and I'm literally going in and out of sleep on the sofa. I've just been really, just really rotting. No, I mean, you know what? I think the reason that I've been up today going da da da around the house is because Saturday I had a bad case of anxiety. The wine just hit me wrong on Friday night, I think.

SPEAKER_03 0:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:58

So on Saturday, it was an odd day. Like it felt you know when this Saturday feels like a Sunday because we went out on a Friday evening. Yeah, no exactly. So I just felt really off. And then this morning I was like, oh, I feel like I have a little bit of the case of the sad. So I was like, I need to like get up and get moving. And that's like my coping mechanism. Um, but I don't want you to feel like I'm like fluffing around you because I know sometimes it can feel like that. Like I'm scuffing around the house doing jobs. Like I want you to be up and doing like it's just me coping, like leave me to it. But naturally, if you're someone who's being lazy and you have someone around you who's being productive, it makes you look inwards. And you're like, oh god, I should be doing that right now. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. But I didn't um let the I don't know, watching you, I didn't let it make me like get up and be productive. No, because it's not it's not a point system. It's not. I knew I was gonna have a a surge of energy um later on. And you got it. I know I've got the wash, I've got my bedding and the drum, and it's fucking it's actually 20 to 8 at the moment. Have you span it? Yeah, I've spun it. Okay. Span. I'm either gonna be spam, spun, spun. I'm either gonna be sleeping on the sofa or getting in with you, Rumi. I just don't really know. Oh shit. Yeah. Emma's only got one bed set. Yeah. Thanks for she lives in. So when it's one. I don't I'm someone who's shit at washing. I'm gonna wash it, I'm gonna dry it, and it's going right back in my bed again. Yeah, yeah. You don't need several people have linen cupboards. Yeah, and I don't have that kind of storage space. I've got too many shoes and fucking whatever. I'm just like, I know that will sit in my washing basket. You just you know what, you just need one other yeah, okay that you can you can rotate. Okay, okay, sleepover. Yeah, sleepover. The psychics, bud yeah. We went out on Friday night, dress code was stress to impress. We showed up, showed out. It was a good night. Yeah, it was a quick turnaround, guys. It was stressful. We had to be at this place at eight. Thank god it was round the corner because we finished work at six. Yeah, yeah. Tan on. I had a I had a quarter zip, zipped all the way up just in case anyone called me. Yeah, and you could see literally like a tan line like on my jaw. Um, but it was a good night. We had some. It was a green night, it was a good night. I spent my hangover and rotting watching Bridgerton, but Blue Story. Yeah. That's what I've been watching. Um, I think it was originally on YouTube. It was. So I'm surprised to see that they've moved it over to Netflix. Yeah. I think if you guys haven't watched Blue Story, definitely go watch it. If you're into TV shows that are about couples, but essentially couples go to therapy. Uh, therapist is called Karen, um, and it's just different couples, and you hear about like what they're going through, and it is very interesting and actually sparked quite a bit of inspiration for me in terms of topics of discussion for the podcast.

SPEAKER_03 4:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:09

Um, I actually was so outraged by some of the statements. I wrote them down while I was while I was watching because Lydia was obviously going around um shit. She's made notes. I've made notes because I've wanted to just share them really quick. Because I was like, I need to talk about this. I was walking in and out. Like I was in and out, I was sitting with you for a little bit of it. So I feel like I I'll be able to follow along because I feel like I saw a couple of the couples. Yeah. Um, I'm excited to hear your observations. Yeah, I mean, before I get into this, I was I was watching and I just thought, God, I kind of know what I'm gonna get into with this. Like I just knew nine out of ten, it was the man subjecting the woman to all this unrest, all this anxiety, all this upset, upset, yeah, yeah. I just felt I was just I I sometimes like I can't watch too much shit like that because it genuinely enrages me. That's why I can't watch Married at First Sight. Or yeah, you need breaks. What's that other show? It's not bingeable, like no. It's so triggering. It really is. Like, I used to be able to binge Married at First Sight, now I need breaks and I'm not even watching now. It's just too much. It's too much. But here I I jotted down three quotes from the show. I was like, this is crazy. So, quote one, I had a baby. No, you had a baby, I didn't. Fucking hell. Okay, this man, right? This what his wife, right? I don't even know, I don't even think they're married. Are they married? No, I think they're boy from Garfin, each their own. She just had his child, right? And the next day he popped out of the hospital for four hours to get a tattoo done. Oh my god. Are you alright? The next day. The next day. And I'm sorry, child labour is not like a fucking dentist appointment. She didn't get a tooth out, she popped out a child from her body. Oh my god. And I just feel like I see so many men like husbands on TikTok be with their wife through that because you could anything could happen after that labour as well. Like, let's say you had postpartum depression, you let's say you've had to have like an emergency C section, whatever. Emotionally, it is very distressing. Yeah, you're split in two, you're literally split in two. So for him to say you had a baby, I didn't, just shows to me that he doesn't feel as much responsibility as her. That woman, I'm telling you right now, she will be the primary taker, primary caretaker of that child. He will just be an assistant, and this is why it's such a it's a bigger deal for women to have children than men in the relationship because you have that physical and like mental and emotional involvement in the bringing of the child onto the earth, yeah, and that is just all reinforced by him saying you had a baby, yeah, I didn't. It's like because the baby comes from us physically, you know, even though it takes two, there is automatically an increased responsibility on the woman in the relationship, and he's just he is just proven that thought to be right. Yeah, you should be that woman should have been, you know, how like you're not meant to eat like raw fish and stuff when you're pregnant. Yeah, and we see those them, those partners like buy their wives like sushi boats, yeah, and they're like sat there, they're laying in the hospital bed and they're eating their sushi and they're eating their steak and they're eating all the things that they couldn't eat while whilst they were pregnant. It should be like a time where you're like, Yeah, babe, you fucking did that.

SPEAKER_03 8:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:09

And he sat in the chair getting a tattoo done. Yeah, I don't care if she was asleep, he should have sat next to her and made sure he was right. Because I'm telling you, any man who thinks that is the same man who thinks if their missus goes out, they are babysitting their child. Yeah, and it's a big deal. You're not ba you don't you can't babysit your own kid. That is your child. You get a nanny to babysit your kid. That is your child. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So, I mean, I think that is my definition of hell. Or it's like, you know, when the mum goes away for a week and they've got to like, oh babe, I've I've put this in the fridge so you can feed the kids, make sure to do this, make sure to do that. She's got two kids, I think. That's weaponised incompetence, people. Weaponised incompetence. What do you mean you can't leave the house for a week and your husband can't keep the house running? Crazy. It's like, you know, when when mum gets gets the flu or she's she's gets a cold, every it's like the man then appreciates how much you do in the house to keep it running. And it should just I feel like it should just be evenly split, guys. Like you're a team. Do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_03 9:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:19

I definitely feel like culture had a big part to play in that outlook. Um, in terms of I think yeah, I think it's uh such a cultural thing. How much of the workload and responsibility falls on you as a woman. Anyway, another thing that this guy said was, My friends think you're crazy. Hmm, right now. Oh god. It's a tennis old at the time, isn't it? Uh the word crazy. Yeah, like crazy. The fact that one your friends can say that to you and you're gonna laugh and find it a joke, like fine. What are you telling your friends for them to believe that about you as well? And also, I think sometimes these wiv these women are driven well, I can't talk today. These women are driven to the point of insanity that they may do things that are a bit unrecognisable. Do you know what I mean? Like going through some was going through her man's phone, and um she was like, he bought her a necklace from duty free in the airport, and she was like, There's no chance, she had a gut feeling that he didn't buy it from the airport, so she went on the airport's website and looked at all the stores that are available in the airport, and the store that they he bought this necklace from wasn't in the airport, it was from somewhere else. Don't know why he lied about it, but she just doesn't doesn't trust him, right? Um, and she said, quote, she was like, not going through your man's phone is like walking around with a blindfold. So do you think she has trust issues, baby girl? Right? Yeah, I have shit to say about this because I feel like in monogamous relationships, predominantly straight monogamous relationships, there's like this control and entitlement over your partner's privacy and your partner's items. For instance, being like I should be able to go through your phone, or I need to know where you are all times of the day, or oh babe, can I go out? Yeah, like I it feels like a little bit of like a parent-child relationship in the sense that you're asking permission from your partner if you can go out. I don't like I don't like that. I'll tell you, I'm gonna tell you and you tell me, like we're adults, and all this, yeah. I do think, and and I think it can come from the woman's side as well, as well as the man's side, just this over protective control that comes with oh, because we're in a because we're in a in a loving relationship, you now have the right to have control over every facet of my life because we're partners. I don't think that's normal. I think it's normalized. And what else what else is also normalized is predominantly men being like, oh I'm scared of my missus, or oh she won't let me out, guys. You know, it's like you're not a child. So I think there's there's parts played on both sides there, men and women, that we think it's normal to just like have like I would never treat my friend like that. No, I'd never go through my friend's phone odd, yeah. Like having find my iPhone or live 360, like on your partner's phone, or I've never gone through a boyfriend. No, me. I've never done that, no, and I think a lot of women would probably look at us like we're fucking silly, but I just won't tolerate untrustworthy men. Also, fuck around and find out. Oh, 100%. Fuck around and find out. Like, you might find something that you shouldn't have seen. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, like don't go looking, don't ask questions you don't want the answers to, and also you don't you shouldn't feel like you need to do that because if you do feel the need to do that, like going on the airport's website and that's mad. Yeah, I know that's that's mad on her side. Um so the last quote that I wrote down is be more submissive to me. Now, this this guy was talking like he's head of the household, he's breadwinner, like they've got two kids, his wife like stays at home, looks after them, and he's the only one that works, yeah. Okay, has she ever worked? She has she had a really great career, right? And they agreed for the first two years of their child's life that she would stay at home to raise them. Okay, but since then there's been a trajectory in his career, and they also had another child in that time. Okay, so she d stayed at home longer, right? But this guy is like going out with clients after work, and he doesn't feel like he needs to let his wife know um when he's coming home. Sometimes I don't know, he'll stay late at the office, or he'll go straight from the office out, like with clients and things, and she won't get a text, and it's very much that she's just very much doing parenthood alone, raising his kid. But but he's like, I just need you to trust me, I need you to just be a bit more submissive to me and trust, like I'm trying to retire in eight years, but she's like, Tomorrow's not promised, and I couldn't agree more. Yeah, eight years is a long ass time, right? Your kid's gonna be 12 years old, yeah, by the time, like, yeah, and you want you re I think in those like early years as well, it's so important to be present in your child's life, yeah. God, and dirty dirting, I'm it's rubbing off of me now. In fact, she can't talk. Um, dating men in certain jobs can be very challenging as well, like client entertaining. He probably works in like sales or recruitment or insurance, he's got a recruiting there. You go, yeah, yeah. There you go. Client entertaining. Sometimes that's code for just getting drunk.

SPEAKER_03 15:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:27

Sometimes that sometimes you are client entertaining, but I do think that your career needs to fit what you want in your personal life as well. If your job is spilling over spilling over into your life after 6 pm, I do think that your partner has a say in that. And also, especially if she is a career woman herself, don't you think she wants to go out for a glass of wine after six o'clock? Like, she spent all day at home, probably cooking, cleaning. Like she wants a break too. She was he was saying that um he went to Usher and did like went to Usher with his friends and they got a box, and she was sat at home and she was actually felt like the pin really dropped. Wow, and it was like, why didn't why wasn't that something that we did together? And he very much like has a social life and rarely, if ever, has said he'll stay home with the kids. But I feel like where is where do you strike the balance with something like that? Because someone has to work and who's gonna look after the kids. It's tricky because we're currently in an economy where a dual income household is necessary to keep a house afloat. If you if the if the one partner doesn't make a significant amount of money, you know, you you usually need two people to to be working, but the world of work and the way that we structure work, you know, working nine till six, you're working eight hours a day most most jobs, five to even six days a week, like the matrix and the structure in which work operates today still is still the same to the way that it was created, you know. Um when industrialization came along, and you know, we were trying to standardise work, and we were just trying to make things as efficient as possible. So it's like okay, we're gonna get people to work eight till six, one hour break, um, you need to be in the office, and it it gov gives no room and no space for children and prioritizing family and being at home. Um, so if you if you are lucky enough to be given the option to stay at home by your partner, it's also an issue because there's also a huge gap and there's been a huge backlog of um women who have gone unpaid for labour, like staying at home. Don't get me started on the maternity laws in the UK about what pay looks like because it's fucking awful. So it's like she's not even getting paid for that time at home. Unless she's doing work on a laptop or whatever, like she she doesn't really have a say because he's the breadwinner. Yeah, you know, and she doesn't get to be independent because she's the one looking after the kids. Yeah, and I think it's probably all well and good when you're discussing it during pregnancy, it's exciting, and your partner wants to provide for you. But I think those attitudes can shift once that becomes your reality. You do actually have the baby here. And I think it goes back to what you were talking about in the last episode about power play financially, yeah. Letting a man pay for you. He's not gonna want to hear your shit about staying at home. He'll probably like think the world of you in the beginning, but eventually that man will be like, You can't say anything, I pay for everything, you never go without, and you're complaining about sitting at home. They never take into consideration the emotional taxation of something like that, you know? And you become you're very much on two sides of an argument. Well, I go home, I work my well, I go out, I work for us, I work my ass off. Yeah, why are you complaining? And then it's well, I sacrificed my career, I put my life on pause to raise our kids. How do you win with something like that? So I know someone personally, I won't name them, but they had a job that was very client-focused, you know, working outside of hours, you know, working late, he's checking his phone at gone midnight because he's got emails for you, because he's trying to close deals, like deal-focused roles, you know, commission-focused roles. And it had an impact on his partner at the time. And she was like, This doesn't work for me. And he did have a career change, similar sort of role, but he wasn't doing any of the client entertaining after work because something had to give, you know. They couldn't start a family and do all of this stuff because he was killing himself at work, you know. So something has to give there. Otherwise, it's like you kind of have to you either have to be okay with your situation or something has to change. Yeah. Um, that that particular person as well. When um him and his partner had a baby, um, she was like, Oh, I think I just I think I actually just want to stay at home. And he was like, No, you're not. He was like, I know what you're like, like you go back out there because you still need your thing. Like, you know, we'll manage this together. He's able to work at home. But she went back to work and she was like, actually, I need this, I need a bit of independence, I need a job, you know? Yeah, so I guess it's like it's tricky, man. But the the way that work is structured doesn't make it easy. No, because it's like family, career, can you have both? It's very fucking hard. I think you can, but yeah, you know. But yeah, guys, definitely watch Blue Story if you're you're interested in it. I think it's it's a really good thing to watch with someone and just like discuss with like a girlfriend, get a bottle of wine, have a takeaway, watch it. It's it is quite, I don't want to say amusing, but some of the things you hear, if it obviously opposes your views and challenges your boundaries, it is like a bit enraging to watch. Um, but definitely watch it. But how are you, Dean? I feel like we went on a bit of a tangent. Girl, I'm alright. Talk to me. Oh. I'm alright. Go on. I feel like we need to talk about Sarah J. Mass a bit. We do. Do you want to go? Or should I go? It was, but it didn't make the short, it didn't make the short notes. Just purely because. Okay. Uh so if you know, Sarah J. Mas is mine and Emma's favourite author. I think it's all girls' favourite author if you're familiar with the academic. Series, so of course Thorns and Roses, and they're basically just the most magic, fantastical romance fairy books ever. And um, Sarah was on Call Her Daddy with Alex Cooper this week, um, and she was talking all things Avatar. There was things about Throne of Glass, which is her other series. So Emma and I watched Bits and Bobs. Yeah. We watched Bits and Bobs because I'm midway through Throne of Glass. I've got three books left. Emma hasn't started it, but you've read all of Aqatar. So there's spoilers about certain, you know, certain um books, and it there's no like flags for um spoilers as as you kind of um watch it. So we watch bits and bobs, but the main thing is Sarah has announced two more Avatar books. Oh my gosh. One in October and one in January. If you haven't read the the um Aqatar books, I highly recommend. If you're a romance reader, if you're someone who thinks reading is boring, this will change your opinion. That was me. Because they're that was literally me. Yeah, no, they're so fun. And I think social media is everything right now. And if you're if you're you work online, if you're on a laptop all the time, it's like a really nice way to just escape. Yeah, it's escapism. Like I I spoke to someone um end of last year, and this person was like, they're just like it's just romance, isn't it? And I'm like, it's escapism. You don't have to read to be like, you don't have to read a fucking science book. Do you know what I mean? Like, why can't reading be fun and um relatable and steamy and you know, things that we all have common interests in, which is beautiful men with wings. But I think they teach you as much as that is great, and that's why we read them.

SPEAKER_02 24:01

Yes, it's a small portion of the book.

SPEAKER_00 24:03

I think I have a real, I don't know if the word is beef, but beef with like these self-help books that are very like discover the real you, like the say no lore, or whatever the fuck these books are called. I feel like you can learn so much from books that are purely through enjoyment because there's so many complex characters, and you analyse their behaviours and actions like in your head, and actually, I think they're a really great way to learn from fictional characters experiences and things like that. Yeah, a hundred percent. And Sarah explains in our interview with in um with Alex about you know certain themes and storylines that she wrote about in Aqatara inspired by real life situations. If you read the I can't remember what it's called at the end of the book, you know, it's like a dedication. Yeah, she does write about mental health and pregnancy and things like that, and that inspired certain, you know, certain um storylines that she's given certain characters in the book. Um, so highly recommend. Uh if I can ask you a question, Emma. Go ahead. What do you think book the next two books are gonna um lean in terms of storylines? Okay, I think there's a lot of things that were left unanswered. Yeah. But that was really exciting because although the books, although she hadn't confirmed there were more books, you just kind of knew from yeah, where, you know, where the story was left off. So I feel like towards the end of the book series, we obviously so we start with Fera and her romantic connections with um Tamlin and then Rice and then once the sisters kind of get introduced to being Faye and that life, we had a really big focus on Nesta and Cassian, which was great. Yeah, and I think naturally the story will lean towards Elaine and Lucian. Yes. So I think that will be explored. It will. There's something that I saw a comment on TikTok about someone feeling sensing some darkness from Elaine because she is quite she is quite quiet, and I almost feel like no one can necessarily put themselves in her head. She's very unpredictable. I don't know if we know the extent of her power and her abilities. No, no, because she could see in the future, she could she could understand where things were, like when they were hunting for certain things in earlier books. Yeah, I agree. We were given a a snapshot into her power and what it could be and what it could lead to, but it was kind of reined in because she kind of um what's the word? She kind of went into herself and retracted, and then she kind of became like a side character again. She wasn't um sort of the main focal point. But I just I think I want Lucian to have his happy ending because I always liked him. Yeah, she's she's rejecting the bond, but then I also love Azreel. There's gonna be a triangle, yeah. There'll be a triangle between them throughout absolutely, but do you know what what one thing I've realized in the book books is we explore everyone's trauma in depth and how they overcome it. Yeah, we've seen it with Farah, yeah, and her having to provide for her family and the trauma from being um under the mountain. Yes, yes, god, I haven't spoken about the books in ages, so I'm really having to like um and then with Nestor as well, her forced to her her being forced into the cauldron and her becoming heart like a fae. Yeah, you know, and her she was really sort of 50-50 whether she was gonna uh really lean into evil or try and overcome it. We don't know what Elaine's trauma is and she's being really quiet about it. And I think that's scary. If anything, I feel like Nesta was almost quite vocal and angry and like out outwardly frustrated and devastated actually by um what happened to her. So I think that I also think um I also think uh Maul Morrigan? Yeah, yeah. I think what happened with her, um, and I can't remember his name. Uh it's I've got the name to him. Um Eris. Mor and yeah, what happened what really happened there? I feel like there's a little bit of exploration there. Yeah. Um, but I haven't got any other I don't really don't know where else where else the books could go, to be honest. Will there be a redemption arc for Tamlin? True, true. Will there be something there for him? Even though, you know, he kind of becomes the baddie in the book, yeah, you know. Um, and it's I do sort of feel sorry for him. You know, I don't want the Spring Court to suffer. Yeah. It feels like, you know, I feel like Tamlin could get a redemption arc. Obviously, Farah and um Rice and Reese, whatever you like to say, um, they've obviously, spoiler alert, had a child. So I think you'll see their growth, like her maybe as a mother, a little bit more. But I do think there will be hopefully, maybe not in that first book, but maybe in the second book that comes out in the new year, they'll explore a little bit more about what happens to Moore because there's a repetition about her being attacked and her being left, and Eris kind of being brought back into that conversation a little bit more. Um, and I just think we haven't had the whole story. No, like we have not had the whole story there, so um we will see. But I hope we don't lose any characters. That's my only thing. Sarah does like a happy ending in Aqatar. In Avatar. I don't know about any of the other books. Um the other books are more ruthless, really. Yeah, yeah. So we'll see. Um maybe Cassie and and Nesta will have a kid. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. I don't know. We'll see. We'll see. Anyway, I'm really excited. Um we will put like um a timestamp. If you're not if you're not into the book and the lit stuff, we'll put a timestamp um where you can skip along to. We'll also add spoilers in because I know my girl Abby, she's just started reading the first book, so I think it might be spoiled for her. So I will we will give a fair warning. Yeah. Um anyway, yeah. How am I? So go. I know why I felt ill last week. I know what made me ill. Pregnant. Guys, no, absolutely not. It's it's very there's no activity at all. Yeah, activity. One has to perform the act in order to get it. Anytime a nurse asks me that, I'm like, no, could you be? Very quiet, guys. My life is not that um eventful. Anyway, so you know how I was feeling. So if you listen to last week's episode, guys, I thought I was coming down with a cold, and then as soon as we stopped recording, I like felt faint, and I was like, I'm gonna be sick. Like, I felt like I needed to sit down. I was just feeling very sure it wasn't good. Um, but I was like, this doesn't feel like a cold necessarily. Um so I know what it is. Basically, um, I started drinking those, I won't say the brand, the electrolytes in the cupboard, and they've got like zinc and multivitamins in them and stuff. I started drinking those earlier in the week because we've got loads in the house, yeah, and I was feeling like all healthy and shit, because obviously I've been going to the gym and like you know, eating my whole foods and drinking my protein shakes, and I saw them in the cupboard and I was like, oh, I should drink those. Yeah, why not? And I was like, actually, one of my notes last week in the episode, I actually didn't mention it, was like, I like the taste of them because I know they're like really salty. Electrolytes are salt. They're real yeah, they're really salty and they have like a weird taste, but I really liked them, and so I was drinking them consistently, and I think the multivitamins and stuff in them made me feel a bit sick. Like I think I overdosed on Oh yeah, I was only doing one sachet a day. But remember when we all had COVID that Christmas and Athena basically like overdosed on like zinc and vitamin whatever tablets, yeah. Um, and apparently you need to introduce them gradually because sometimes it can you can be sensitive to them, it can make your stu your stomach go. Anyway, as soon I had one on the day that we were filming, like I had one, a big glass. Obviously, just one. Did you drink the whole thing? Yeah, I drink the whole thing, and I was like, God, I felt ill shotting it. No, I put it in the recommended amount of water and then I felt ill after, and then I stopped drinking them just because I stopped drinking them, and I was like, oh my god, I feel fine. Oh, maybe it was, maybe it is too much. So I think it was the electrolytes, they don't agree with me. I know, just when you think of being healthy, bloody hell. Sometimes, yeah, you can't your body needs to adjust. Yeah, can we Google that really quickly? Like, what does that mean? Like, when you you like take too many vitamins and it makes you feel like I felt lethargic, I had no energy, my limbs felt heavy. Like, I don't know what happened, but that was the only thing I changed. And when I stopped taking them, I felt fine. Odd, guys, odd. Emma's gonna do some research, but what else? Oh, I have a cutie little nail shop story. So did you take them on an empty stomach? No, I don't think so. What did you eat? When was when was the first time? You know, I'm like, as soon as I'm up, I I have something. I'd had something. Yeah, is there magnesium in them? I think so. That can cause nausea. Right. Yeah, maybe that's what it was. Um drinking them too quickly, how quickly Oh, I was back in it, mate. I was shot on it back. Uh yeah, uh I think you definitely did that to yourself. What is it called? So electrolyte drinks or tablets, especially one ones in high sodium, which it is magnesium or potassium, can irritate your stomach if you haven't eaten, causing nausea, stomach cramps, feeling queasy. It can also call diarrhea. I didn't have that. No, but you had a funny tummy when you came in. I did, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:26

I didn't have that.

SPEAKER_00 35:27

You did my tummy was good. We had to run home. We did. So you had nausea, so I think you did it to yourself. Oh god. I think I'm just gonna stay away from um yeah, no, just yeah, maybe look at the um maybe do it half the sash next time. I think I'm done. Maybe do it in the afternoon and not in the morning as well. Maybe you need a bit more fooding as well. The trust is broken. The trust is broken as well. Yeah, I did. Um, I have a cutie little nail shop story. Go on them. So, March nails, guys. I got black nails with like little white stars on them, um, inspired by um Millie's nails on All-Stars. She had these black and white like star nails that I really liked, so they're inspired by that, by them. Anyway, went to the nail shop on Thursday. Um, walked in, not a lot of people, which is good. I was like, I'm gonna be in and out. Sat down. There was a gentleman sat next to me, similar age to us. I was like, oh, I was like, you don't look like you're getting your nails done in there. You know, he could be, no judge. Anyway, I I was like, I think he's waiting for someone. Oh so it's my turn. I go, I sit down. So funny, my nail tech goes to the same gym as me. So I saw him that morning at 7 7am. I'm like, hey! And I saw his colleague in there as well, who doesn't do my nails. They're like, I saw you this morning. I was like, I saw you too. He was like, say hello next time. I was like, all right. Saw them the next morning as well. Anyway, I digress. So um, I sit next to this girl, and it turns out that that's her boyfriend, right? So I made the connection. And anyway, get my nails done, whatever. He comes over and he goes, Babe, just so you know, I've got this. He was like, I don't want you paying for your nails. He was like, You okay? Do you want me to go to the shop, get you a drink or anything? She's like, No, I'm okay. He's like, Right, I'm gonna go pay them just so it's done, so then we can we can go as soon as you're you're finished.

SPEAKER_01 37:29

I was like, ow!

SPEAKER_00 37:31

This girl was having a design on every fucking nail as well, so I know that they weren't cheap. No, they weren't cheap, yes. Like there was calligraphy going on on their nails, like flowers, oh calligraphy, like letters. Do they do letters? No, I saw this set and they've got like a well, it just looks like art. Nice. Um, and I was just like, oh, I was like, that's so nice. I was like, it's just the little things, guys. What a dream. It's just the little things, like getting your nails paid for. I've never had that done. Like, incredible. I've had a man offer to do it for me, oh yeah, but I had to reject it because this man was literally gonna pay for a flight for me to go to fucking Australia. I had to tell it. If this man messages you for my passport details, do not give it to me. Mum was like, go! I'm not going to Australia. No, you don't need a visa. I don't know. I don't think from short. I don't know, but a quick backstory. I was seeing him, I liked him, it didn't work out, and then he came back, and I was like, nah, I don't want to do that. A few years later, yeah, and he was like besotted, and he was like, Louis, pay for your hair. I was like, my sister, this is my hair. He was like, I mean, pay for your nails. I was like, I can't take that off you. Not if you don't like it. No, no, no, no, I can't do that. That's cruel. Yeah, actually. You could have, but no, he's got a girlfriend now, though. Does he? Uh say lovey. Bless him. Um that was a really cute encounter. I loved it. We love a northern girl. I won't say more, fuck really. No. Like, I really overshare on this podcast. Oh, that sounds cold. We'll just keep we'll just keep it in the can't be taking that. Anyway, yeah. Should we cute? Is that the cutie little story? Yeah, and the other thing is I don't think I'll wash my hair well today, guys. I was drying it, I think I've left shampoo in it. Oh no. I was not about to rewash it, and that's so annoying. Dry shampoo is so the worst. I wanted to wear it down tomorrow, but I don't know. We'll see. Anyway, pass me anyway. For this episode, me and Lydia were having a bit of a like a debrief in the bedroom earlier when we were getting ready. Yeah. And we were having like a bit of a conversation, and sometimes when we get into a good flow state with our chats, we're like, oh no, like let's save it for the pod. Yeah. I think for this for this episode, we really just wanted to chat, and I think um, yeah, when I was talking to Lydia earlier, I was like, there's things things that I can't overshare, but actually after having the conversation, I was like, I still want to there's still things we want to chat about. Yeah. So what we've done is we've come up with three like sort of statements um that align with what we were talking about earlier to just spark some conversation. Yeah. Yeah, just around these topics. So let's dive right in. Um the first one is being single is a choice. Now, I have a little note here that says that me and Lydia have both ended relationships with partners like obviously out of choice, yeah, for like our best interests. Yeah, and those were both our most recent partners, right? We both made the decision to leave those relationships. Different time timelines, though, wasn't at the same time, like mine was a while ago, yeah. I haven't been in a relationship for we're doing the maths like five years. Yeah, shit, six years almost. I've been single for almost a yeah, so different timelines, different uh periods of our lives, different reasons, but sort of that courage to kind of walk away from something and feel like you are not aligned, not on the same page, feel like you might deserve better in some instances. Um, so we're kind of talking from that perspective of like we did choose to be single. This is a choice, and as much as maybe we joke about the suffering of singlehood, we are girls who absolutely like the idea of love. I love the idea of love, I love the idea of finding my person. And I think I was chatting about this off the back of like the weekend, and naturally some conversations were had with different kinds of men, and yeah, um, I definitely sensed a vibe with a few of them, and I just kind of was sat with Lydia and I was like, I just don't feel like there was a spark, and I don't really want to explore those relationships because they just I could just tell from like just a few conversations with them that they don't they're not ticking all my boxes. Yeah, and I was like, I could go out tomorrow, I could text a few people in my phone right now and be in a relationship, yeah, but it just wouldn't serve me, it's not natural, like you kind of just want to fall into it. Like, I don't want to this is why I'm kind of struggling with dating apps because it feels a little bit forced. Like even though like a dating app is meant to be like, okay, these are people who want to date all in one place, and it should be easier to kind of sift through the crowd, it's but it's not, but it's kind of it's it feels too forced. You kind of just want to find it, you want it to find you, don't you? Like just sort of making your decision just to be in a relationship because you don't want to be single, it almost feels like I think you and I have a lot of fear around making the wrong choice, yeah, definitely, especially like in adulthood right now, 24, like we're getting grown now, yeah, we're getting on now. Yeah, so it can feel like that's a really big decision. But one thing I really battle with is like I I've had this like said to me a few times is like you don't the next one doesn't have to be your husband. No, as much as we say that, like the next one I wanted to be my husband. Yeah, we're like, listen, I'm doing it in one go. We're doing it in one go, nice and swift, no tries, but actually, that's putting way too much pressure on the situation. And like, how are we gonna know what we want in a partner? Because that's something else that we talk about. Like, we're not really sure. Yeah, how are we gonna know if we don't date? Yeah, I was yeah, I was saying to Lydia earlier, I was like, my partner that I want is not in this life. And by in this lifetime, I mean I think in in one life you lead a lot of lives. Yeah. Meaning that you can change so much as an individual just from like growing and experiencing new things. That you may like look back at yourself at a point in your life and you're like, God, that feels like a different lifetime. So in this lifetime that I'm currently in, I'm like, I don't think he's here. I think he's he's in the next life. But even when I'm saying that, I really don't want this to come across like my life is very male-centered about like finding the one. Because I also think that can be quite a like a damaging way to look at life and look at um, I don't know, looking like you did life right if you found the one, you know, because not everyone will find that person. Do you know what I mean? Um can I ask you a question? Go ahead. When do you think it's hard? When do you think it's hard to truly believe that being single is a choice? Like you chose this, bless you. Sorry, it might happen again. Bless her, bless. God bless. She's blessed. Sorry, what's the question? When do you like I feel like I'm making this overly complicated? Yeah. When do you find it difficult to believe that you when do when do you find it? When do you question that shit? I chose singlehood that I'm not sure about this, I feel uncertain about my choice. When do you feel that uncertainty and lack of trust in that decision? Are there moments, are there triggers? Uh when I'm around other people who have partners. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's something that I mean, I got into my first relationship when I was 21. Um, so I've I've always been the single friend in a group. Yeah. I've noticed it quite a bit at work because there's a lot of couples. Yes. A lot of couples. What is it in nine to fives? I don't know. Office jobs, everyone's got a mortgage and a bloody boyfriend. Everyone's getting married, having kids, or buying houses with their partner. Well, they're engaged. And I often get given that question, like, what's wrong with you? Why aren't you in a relationship yet? Yeah. You know? And it's like it's a choice, first of all. Like, I'm I'd feel like it I haven't found that person. Yeah. But sometimes it's like, okay, am I less of a woman because I'm not in a relationship? Do you know what I mean? It's like, Emma, is it can you just let a few things slide and just get in a relationship with a man? Or I don't know, what about you? If I'm being completely honest, just to touch on that about not being taken as seriously or being sort of treated like oh, your life ain't that serious. Yeah, like you don't have real commitments or problems because you haven't got kids, or you haven't got a mortgage and a partner. If I'm being really real, I feel like my connection with certain members of senior leadership would be better if I had a partner. Please go into that. Because it's like common questions that are asked from colleagues to other colleagues are about their partners and their kids. Right. And I can't get in on that, add on those conversations. Because I think when you're in your 20s, you're often the youngest person in the room, often. Um, so you can't add into that those conversations. Um, but even the girls that are my age and my work, one of them has a husband, yeah, one of them's engaged, like you feel like you can't add to those conversations because it makes you feel like you're not as grown. And sometimes I'm like, oh, if I'd had a partner, would I be taken more seriously? Yeah, because sometimes I hear people go, Oh yeah, like uh we're buying a house, or like I'm like, God, that's so grown. Like that feels it makes me feel like I'm still in a place of like childhood. Yeah. Um, but one thing I saw this video like a few weeks back, and um this woman gets asked, like, why are you single? And she goes, I'm overqualified. And for me, that made me, I was like, hmm, well, that's actually very true. Because me and Lydia was I was saying to Lydia earlier, I was like, as you get older in life, you naturally become more qualified, you unlock different parts of your your character, career, whatever, you achieve certain aspirations, whatever. And within that, dating changes, dating shifts. So let's say you start dating in school, right? You're on the same level, all you need to do is like the guy. That's it, right? And as soon as you leave school, other things get thrown into the mix. You're in a bubble, right? Do they live at home? Do you have a job? Do you make more money? Like, those are the things. And then as you get older, right, you're also like maybe competing with I think more, you're competing with younger women, I feel. So I feel like the men who are my age right now, I think they're more inclined to date maybe younger people, younger girls, because I feel like as you get older as a woman, the guys, the men are dating younger. See, I don't know if Emma and I were talking about this earlier. I don't like the word competing. Okay, maybe competing is the wrong word. I don't think women are I don't think we are competing for men. And if you are, you shouldn't be, yeah, to be honest. And I think if that if the the 25-year-old man that you're you're entertaining starts dating a 19-year-old, you don't want him anyway, because he's a man child, and he's dating younger because he knows women his own age don't take him seriously enough. So his run-down car is gonna impress an 18-year-old because I was that girl in school. Oh, he's got a car, he's older than me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That should not have happened. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, that's why they date younger. Yeah. So I don't I don't think it is a I do think women have evolved past marriage and relationships being a necessity. As much as politics is trying to push policies and stuff onto us now, like people who have kids will be tax less. That whole sort of discourse that's been going on at the minute. Fucking hell. That's crazy. That's crazy. Um, all this conversation around women having babies and certain podcasts going, well, should we manage, you know, men passing on their jeans and all that crap? Jesus Christ. I do think, like you said, women have evolved past relationships being a necessity because you know, at one point women didn't have bank accounts and you needed a husband. I think my my point is this being overqualified, yeah, to this sounds really arrogant, um, but I do feel that. And I do feel like as I am getting older, I'm seeing how these men are frozen in time, yeah, and they're still the same on Friday night, right? Okay, I sat so I was chatting to a friend, you know, just enjoying myself. It was a Friday, so I was knackered from work. I'm sat I'm like, can we sit down? I like to sit down, alright? I was in a dress in fucking heels. I was like, it's late, I just want to sit down. Yeah, having a drink. Athena hoots and hollers me over, and I see she's with two strange men, right? So I'm like, one second, whatever I get up, walk away. Right, walk up to Athena and she's like, he's beautiful. You two would look great together. I was like, hi, nice to meet you. This poor man is being fucking shackled here, he doesn't want to be here, right? Do you know what I mean? Anyway, I was like, well, anyway, I'm like walking next to him, and I thought, do you know what? I was like, this cut to the fucking chase, right? I went, do you like me? He was like, Yeah, I think you're really beautiful. I was like, I'm a relationship girl. Are you a relationship guy? And he went, not looking for anything serious right now. And I went, good chat, and I got up. I got up, I walked away. Did he say anything to you after that? No, I don't know. I looked away, got up, went and danced. You have a nice night. I went, you have a nice night. This whole I'm not I honestly, I'm not serious, I don't want to be in a related. I see it time and time again. You get too emotionally evolved, so it's a pr it's a protection tactic. Yeah. Can I ask? Was this man actually cute? Who's beautiful? Was he? What did I see? But I was prettier always. Come on, come on, go on. What did I see was I there or did I leave at the room? You left at that point. Did I see this man at all over the evening? No, but I didn't I didn't I didn't clock him in the room. He clocked me. He wasn't the one I pointed out to you earlier that was still with that girl. No, no, he was with his friend. Um there was two of them. Yeah, anyway. I went, good chat, I got up. Like, d like do you know what I mean? I'm not gonna try and condition you into being in a relationship with me. I'm not doing that. Yeah, especially if that's what you're looking for. You're not looking for a bit of fun like that, are you? No, anyway. Should we do the next prompt? Yeah, moving swiftly on. We might have to we might have to be a bit more swift with these ones. Yeah, okay. Poor guys. Oh my gosh, it's okay to miss your ex. It's okay, gals. We all do it. It's okay. You whack a bit of Mario on. Gotta change my answer already. Oh wait, that's Neo. Sorry. Mario is mmm. Uh mmm. Yeah. Sorry, Neo. We love you. Girl that we love you. Yeah, I love missing. Call me Mr. Ben there. Don't worry about the world. Yeah. Little bit of bed. Why can't a guy dance me into you know, why can't he yearn and dance like Neo? Yeah, you know? Yeah, yeah. Anyway. Okay, it's okay. Strong believer in not going back if you had valid reason to leave in the first place. Oh, I've just remembered something.

SPEAKER_02 54:40

Keep going. Do you want to talk about it now? No, no.

SPEAKER_00 54:43

My opinion on that is it's really easy to look back at the good times and forget the bad times. Oh. And if you haven't found greener grass, looking back at the old grass and thinking you won't find much greener. You had it green. Yeah. That was it. That was it. Don't think like that. Reverse. Don't think like that. I do think I think it's it's being understood in the wrong way. You don't miss your ex. You miss being in a part being with a partner. Yeah. You miss all the good things, right? Yeah. But if the bad outweighed the good, you don't miss your ex. You broke up with them for a reason. Agreed. You did. And this is coming from someone who, admittedly, I feel like I broke up with my ex too quickly. Yeah. I feel like I rushed into that decision. Woo!

SPEAKER_02 55:41

We're really oversharing today, guys.

SPEAKER_00 55:44

It happens a while ago. It's the brand. Go ahead. It's the brand. Um, I feel like I rushed into that decision. The the elements were there that like I think it would have broken down at one point, but I think I jumped the gun too quickly. But you and I have had that conversation where I've gone, shit. I felt like I jumped the gun. And like he was my boyfriend at uni, and all my girls are still with their boyfriends from uni. So I was like, shit, one of them's even married her man from uni. Yeah, crazy. Props to the happy couple, Joanna and Matt. Woo woo. But we love you guys. Woo woo woo! You did it. Um, I was like, shit, was I meant to stay with that guy? Like, it's normal to meet a guy at uni and buy a house and get married. Like all most of my girls at uni are still with their boyfriends from uni. So I'm like, shit, did I did I fuck up here? Um, so like it's it's easy and it's okay to miss them because like you had good times, and I do think sometimes relationships are about experiences. Like you had a couple nice holidays, you got some nice bags, yeah, you know, you went on some nice dinners, yeah, you know, you connected, whatever, and then sometimes you just have to move on, and that's just it, and you you'll find the next one, and like it's a story to tell your grandkids when you're in your rocking chair, like, oh, I used to date this, da-da-da. So it's okay to miss them, you know, otherwise it wouldn't have been genuine, you know? Like there was feelings there. Um, but if I'm to coin a term that Emma and I used last night, you're better than bagged meat. You know, all right, we're better than bagged meat. You're better than bagged meat. We have to explain what that means, right? Yeah. So basically, well, no, we were last night we made a little feast. We had duck pancakes and some ribs Saturday night, yeah, wedges on the side, coleslaws. It's great, but obviously, those meats come in bags. But you know, the pulled pork comes in a bag, which is just disgusting. Like, honestly, I was like, Lydia, I can't look at it.

SPEAKER_02 57:55

Doesn't look like the bulbs. The way it's in the bag, that duck looks like it's been in a cube and they stuck a bone in it to make it look real. And it's like it's a bit grey, gelatinous. I just I don't like it.

SPEAKER_01 58:07

And we're what did you say? I don't know about bagged meat. Bagged meat, yeah. Everything comes in a bag in this country, lettuce, poop pork, bagged meat. I was like, God, I was like, that sounds something like that sounds like slang or saying I was like, like, don't reheat old meat. You're better than bagged meat. You're better than bagged meat.

SPEAKER_00 58:32

What was another one? And it's so versatile, guys. What else did we say? Like, she deserves bagged meat, yeah, yeah. Like, she deserves like a fucking dickhead, or like you're better than bagged meat, like you're better than that. You deserve a wagyu steak fresh from the butchers, not a bag of meat.

SPEAKER_01 58:52

What how else did we say that? Oh my god, fuck.

SPEAKER_02 58:58

I don't know. You said it in a really good line.

SPEAKER_01 59:02

Um, you're better than bagged meat.

SPEAKER_00 59:07

Sometimes men just want bagged meat. Oh yeah! Sometimes men just want bagged meat, like they just want something convenient, they just want a mackeys, yeah. They just want something convenient, yeah, and they'll regret it later. Yeah, yeah, like yeah. Um just yeah, yeah. I think that's it. But yeah, maybe we'll maybe we'll head it here first, guys. Yeah, but going back to the it's alright to miss your bagged meat. It's alright to miss you bagged me, your ex. It's alright, it's okay. It's like bagged meat, mate.

SPEAKER_02 59:42

I think we should just leave leave it with that one and finish talking on that one.

SPEAKER_00 59:47

But like, it's alright to miss it's alright to miss your ex. Yeah, everyone's been there, but I very much believe if you close one door, try keep it closed. Because otherwise you're blocking blessings, my gals. Because I think I think also like not to talk about it too much, because I I'm really not too sure who's listening.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:11

Something popped up last night, and I feel like someone's watching this, I did not think was watching, right? Hello, uh, shout out.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:20

Yeah, we don't know who's listening or watching. I think you would be doing the person who took you if you breaking up with someone takes a lot of courage, yeah, and I don't feel like it's spoken about enough. I would rather that person in that moment when I had to do that, I would rather that person had cheated on me, they were a dickhead, yeah, like I went plate. Why wasn't he a rat bag? Yeah, you know, that was really hard, and it's something you can suffer with in silence for a really long time. Yeah, and I feel like everyone spoke speaks about being broken up with, but no one speaks about having to break up with someone. Oh my god, it's no any everyone who I told that I'm like made this decision that I was gonna do it, um, was like, Emma, I don't envy you. Yeah, you don't want to be the dumper. But then is it you want to be the dumpy? Yeah, what's better though? Being dumped or dumping someone. I actually don't know. Because I think also oh I don't know, because then I'm also like I don't know. Mate, being dumped that does suck. That sucks. That does suck. Like I don't even know. Yeah, it's it's crazy. And like I don't know, yeah. It's anyway, it's alright so we should ex and maybe we should. It is it is um and help us find other ways to put bagged meat in a sentence. Yeah, put it in a sentence if you get what we mean. Oh, what am I? Bagged meat?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:52

Yeah, what am I bagged meat? He's treating me like bagged meat. Yeah, come up with some other ones, guys. I feel like that should be the name of the episode. Yeah, that's the name of the episode. Bagged meat on that episode 17. Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:14

Something I feel like I really want to talk about in the next episode. Let's put it here, just as like a note. Side note, is um body image. Yes, that's a woman. Yeah. Something I really want to talk about. I had a really big, like, I was in such a deep thought after a night out. You were I think Lydia was like, Are you alright? And I feel like a lot of things sort of came to the surface that I didn't I forgot I felt like that. Yeah. Um, and I definitely want to talk about that more. Something else, there was something else as well. Uh it was body image, but then also And just like physical appearance, yeah. I think. Yeah, maybe that maybe that's it. But I feel like that's a whole enough to do that. So maybe that'll be next week. Yeah, maybe that'll be next week. But I thought it was a good chat. We post an episode every Thursday, Queens. We do. Um, make sure to subscribe on YouTube if you haven't already. If you're listening, you should watch as well. Don't forget to follow us on our socials too. We're on TikTok and we're on Instagram, right? We are. Um, and I guess there's nothing else left to say than thank you for oversharing the deal. Thank you for over sharing, babe. And we'll see you guys in the next one. Love you very much, love you very much. Bye.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:44

Lost in the space right now. I don't think I'm always always better on two.