Episode 18: "bridgerton baddies"

In this episode of Girls Who Overshare, Lydia brings an intense dream to the table where we’re somehow seeing the same guy 💤 and we dissect it to figure out what it actually means and why she had it 🤔 We also get into Lydia’s thoughts on Louis Theroux’s new “manosphere” documentary, before she tries to explain to Emma what a “boy aquarium” even is 🐠

We kick off a shared podcast playlist for all the song recs we drop along the way 🎵 and finish with a proper chat about living with strangers in your twenties 🏠 should you do it, does being good friends mean you’ll be good housemates, and some of our favourite uni living memories 💗

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:14

Welcome back to Girls Who Over Shirts. Nice to see you again. Welcome back. Hope you're all well. Oh, I love that. Welcome back. Welcome in. It was giving SpongeBob actually. Come on, sit down. Oh girl, talk to me. How are you doing? I'm alright, girl. I'm alright. It's early. It is early. We set our alarms for eight o'clock. The cafe team has only just kicked in. To be honest, we went to bed at a decent time, so I didn't think getting up was going to be an issue. But I woke up way before my alarm. Like the body clock was body clocking. Did you? Yeah, I woke up at like quarter eight. It was like 7:30, 7.45, something like that. Because I was woken up from a dream. I was gonna say any dreams. I asked Lydia this morning. I was like, do I even ask her a question before we fail? Yeah, I know. So I was like, and she was like, Oh, I was like, Lydia, we have to speak with so much mystery these days. Girl, I woke up vexed. Stop. Yeah, you vex me. And I had you vex me. We'll get to that. Bridgetton quo. Bridgetton, we're Bridgeton baddies now. Oh, you were Bridgetton Baddy. Daphne! Make haste! We love Claudia Jesse. Obsessed. Even liked her before Bridgeton. Anyway, off topic. Go on. I was I woke up, girl, and I was like, I had to like talk myself down because it felt so oh guys. Guys, my alarm just went off. I'm so sorry. If you listen to our previous episodes, you know that I have a shit ton of alarms. Hang on, hang on. Never mind the alarm. It's the sound. The quacking. Never mind you have a shit ton of alarms. Everyone does. I think that's the only one. I have one for like 10:30 on a Saturday, just so I don't sleep. Just in case. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're all off though, I just checked. Um, yeah, to talk myself down. So basically, you were in it. It was me, you, right? We I don't know where we were, but I was in hysterics. I was crying. I was like, basically, you started dating someone I liked. Oh, I know I know exactly what this is from. It's because of the media we've consumed. Oh the latest world in season two of Bridgetton. That makes so much sense. I didn't even think, yeah. Oh my god. So for context, in season two of Bridgerton, there's the storyline is on the basis of Mr. Miss Adwina and Kate. And Kate, yeah, they are sisters, and basically one of them is meant to marry betrothed to marry. Is that the word? Yeah. The Viscount and Anthony Bridgetton. But Kate loves him. They're a love match. They are. That is why you had that dream, Miss Mam. Girl, you were the love match to my babes in my dream. Oh, you were a duener. I was a duener. I was fuming. I was crying. I was still and you were like, he likes me more than you, and we've been out for a steak and a glass of wine. That's what I remember. And I was like, Emma, how could you do this to me? I was crying. I would never do that too. I was kicking, I was screaming, and you were so calm. And I was like, ma'am, like what she's doing to me. I was in, it didn't feel like I was in Bridgeton. Wild. I wasn't in the fancy outfit. God knows what what I was in. Fuck knows who the man was, but I woke up fuming. You don't remember who the man was? No. No. Do you think it's because you forgot? Or he wasn't shown in the dream of the few years. Well, he wasn't. He wasn't Jonathan Bailey, I could tell you that. Wow, what a man. I don't know. Maybe it'll come to me later. I I think he was familiar, but you know, when you only remember parts. Yeah. Because I was so fuming at you, I didn't even remember the man. So fair enough. Um, so yeah, woke up not the most relaxed because I was so angry, and I was like, God, so it like upset me. I was like meant to wake up calm on a Saturday morning, but I did not at all. Um, maybe it's related to the other media that I've consumed this week because guys, Louis Thoreau's documentary came out this week, The Manosphere. I've had this thing set as a reminder on Netflix for the past month. Um, because when I saw it, I just knew it was gonna be a great piece of work. Like, great. I haven't watched it yet. I've seen one clip on TikTok. Okay. But Lydia's watched it, but I think I want to hear your take on it before I watch it. I've made shit tons of notes. Okay. Um, go through them. I feel like I might have to blag it just because it's way too much to look at. Um so yeah, we'll get into it. If you don't know who Louis Thorew is, Louis Thorew's like the most famous British documentary filmmaker ever, really. Yeah. Um, he's very notable for his style of making documentaries. You know, he's very um he's very calm, very he's very known for his awkward silences. He likes a long pause, he likes to let the subject that he's studying do their thing, and he observes, and he asks questions at the right time, and he's very neutral. Like he comes in like he doesn't know anything about the topic, the given topic, and he kind of learns on on the spot, and it's um really interesting. And he's known for obviously making documentaries with very controversial people, like he's made documentaries with like he's gone to the States and like spent a week with like America's the most racist cult leader. Like he he goes and meets with the most insane people. So he did a documentary recently on the Manosphere, which I think is something that um, you know, off the back of things like adolescence, which won a lot of awards recently, this topic of being red-pilled and the matrix and all that stuff. Um, I think it's come at a good time. I think a lot of people have critiqued the documentary for giving these, you know, extremist figures in social media and in the world right now a platform to like reach out to more young men um and impressionable boys. Um, but I also think it's given light to the severity of the situation. So basically, Louie goes and meets with a couple of really notable figures within social media, like they're podcasters, streamers, whatever. I'm not gonna give light to who they are, and he spends time with them. And girls, it's the most triggering documentary ever, like ever. I think it's important to watch it so you know how severe the situation is. And I hope, regardless of if you're a man or a woman, you watch that documentary and go, Oh my god, like this is really bad. I think what I like about Louis though is that I think I would argue that if people were to criticize him giving them a platform, they already have the platform. Oh, they do, they already have millions of followers. Yeah. I think he's the way in which he's done it is he's although he doesn't show he doesn't show much bias, doesn't express much much of his opinion, as you said, like in the documentary, he when it's edited in the end, it is presented in in the light in which it should be, which is how outrageous it is. Yeah, exactly. So I'm not gonna go into too much detail. There's so much I can fucking comment on, and I think you should just go ahead and watch it. However, the one thing that I'm gonna say is okay, so the manosphere, the the the sphere in which all these men, if you can call them that, operate, is extremely toxic, and I think it's built to entice vulnerable men and boys who need a leader. Like when I was watching, okay, Louie spends time with a lot of notable figures within the space, but he also meets followers of these guys, interesting, and I felt sorry for them, yeah, because you could tell that they've really bought into what these men are talking about, like the Tate brothers and all this stuff, and you could just tell that they really wanted someone to make them feel like they had value. Because one of the things that um they think when you're red pilled is men aren't born with value, whetheras women are. So our value is beauty, basically. So they say that women are born with our value because we're beautiful, and being born with value, the the example that's given is you can get invited to beautiful parties and on the yacht and whatever because you're beautiful, you're born with your value. Whether they're not gonna invite my man on the boat because he's got no money, he ain't got a nice car, he's gotta build his value, right? That so it creates this very dangerous idea that wealth and possessions is the only thing that makes you a real man, basically. Which is really damaging because it it links to this thing about hegemonic masculinity, which I wrote an essay on at uni. Basically, hegemonic masculinity or hegemony is basically this idea that there's a very restricted view on what it is to be a real man, and these influencers, if you could even call them that, really take that and fucking run with it. They go buy my guides, listen to my podcast, I'm gonna teach you how to be a real man. Drink this drink, drink this drink, buy into my trading platform, and I'm gonna teach you how to be a real man, and you can make loads of money like me. Why work for someone when you can work for yourself? Um, and it's just it's just so damaging. Um, it not only isolates women, but it isolates men that don't fit that mold. Um, and the men that they interviewed that were followers of these individuals, I felt really bad for them. There's also so much misinformation. Like these boys with platforms, they're just chatting shit. Yeah. Like they're saying things like women, women don't know what they want, they want to be told what they want, women should be in the kitchen. They're saying all of this, all these statistics and stuff, and scientists have proved whatever. There's so much misinformation, and I think a lot of young boys in our generation are buying into this information without fact-checking and criticizing and questioning, and it's becoming really harmful. Yeah, I think one thing I saw one clip, and it was Louis interviewing this man who I had never seen before. He's never come onto my my for you page or whatever. But he says, look around you, the things that are surrounding us, what ev everything that's been created was created by a man, and women have never invented anything. Yeah. And I'm sorry, Wi-Fi. Wi-Fi was created by a woman. The very thing you use to access your audience and build your career. And I just think it's this entitlement that men have given women everything, and they're wanting to take it back to the days in which women didn't have access to education. And I'm sorry, the fact that there is this really stark contrast between men and women and whether they've invented things or there's more men in more senior like positions, is because women were deprived of those privileges, like historically. So it's not that they're not capable, it's that they had to fight for that to begin with. Yeah. And the fent and and basically they feel like there's there's an attack on masculinity and men, and they need to band together to keep things the way that they are. Right. There's so many contradictions in this fucking documentary that Louie tries to help the guys try and talk through. Like, why do you think that? For instance, there's one guy they interview, and he's like, I think OnlyFans is disgusting. Like, if that's your daughter or your missus, you should be ashamed. Tell me why my man has a company that helps manage women who participate in OnlyFans and he takes a cut of the money that they earn. Jesus Christ. So he doesn't support you from a personal perspective, but he's quite happy to participate at the business side because it benefits him financially. And he was like, he was like, I made money off of it, so I don't give a fuck, basically. That's what he says. But he was like, that was my daughter, I'd be ashamed. There's just there's so many contradictions. So many. Um it's a very, yeah, it's a very thought-provoking watch. It's a very scary watch. I think if you have young boys, especially, you need to watch this documentary, um, and you need to be monitoring what they're what media they're consuming because it's it's scary. And there's grown-ass men buying into what these these men are saying. Um and I think I do think it's difficult to be a man or a boy right now if you're consuming that media, because they're telling you if you don't have a fast car and you're not trading and making thousands, and you don't live in a nice flat, whatever, you're not a man. Yeah. And it's really damaging. Um, but I think Louie did a great job of of capturing it. Um, so if you haven't watched it already, definitely go and give it a watch. It's not a relaxing Saturday night watch, to be honest. Um, Emma, I think you should watch it. But those are my thoughts on it anyway. I am gonna watch it. I've actually seen a few positive videos off the back of it though. Oh, have you? I've seen a few teachers, a few male teachers in school, um present it to their classroom. Oh, really? And he he doesn't make them watch the documentary, he knows everyone's seen it, whether they've taken the time to watch the whole thing, or there's little clips on social media that you can watch. Yeah. Um, and he basically just goes to these kids. He's like, he gives an example and he's like, This is wrong. This is our responsibility as men to know that when we see this, if it's our mum, our daughters, our cousins, our sisters, our friends, that that is wrong. And if it may not be you who's doing that, you you can't just limit yourself there, you need to actively make a difference. And I've seen a few videos like that, so that's been quite positive to say. Yeah, hopefully it does have a positive impact, and I think it will, and I do think Louie did it justice. So um, if you want to go ahead and watch it, I think you should. Yeah, um, but yeah, that's but that's the main thing that's kind of taken up my thoughts this week. Yeah, um, outside of have you heard complete switch up of topic, but have you heard what a boy aquarium is? No, no, have you not? No, you're not just acting for the pods. No, and I'm chronically online. Yeah, you won't be quite sure. So the boy aquarium is basically ice hockey players, male ice hockey player team. Stop! And the girlies are going to games and they're like, we'll go into the boy aquarium. I love that. That's so fun. Hilarious. Have you seen these men stretch on the ice? No, I can't show you off. You need to stretch um, yeah. Really? Get those joints nimble, mate. Wow in the hip region. Yeah, exactly. In the hip region. Exceptional. Um, and all these girlies are posting videos at the boy aquarium on TikTok, and I'm just reading the comments, and I'm just dying. Boy Aquarium. There's this one video, yeah. And this ice hockey player, he's he's bombing it across the ice, yeah? And he slams his shoulder against like the plastic um glass. Okay, and the comments are like, I've upset one of the fish. Someone else put that means it likes you. I love that. It's so good. Someone put, don't touch the glass, you will cause them distress. I love that. That's so funny. I'm pretty sure that Milton Keynes have a hockey team, so I think we need to get in the car and go watch a hockey match. Let's go to the boy aquarium. Shall we see when they're the early summer school trip? Let's have a look. Milton Keynes. Ice hockey. That's hilarious. We need to go. We do. Why not? These men, uh, they're scrapping on the ice girl. Really? Yeah, it gets aggressive. It's like rugby on ice. Wow. Helmets. Um, it's not a show, it's a game. Ice hockey show. Literally. Um match tickets. Here we go. Except what we've said. Ticket types, tippy ticket prices. I want to be close to the glass. They're playing on the on the 20th. This month. Wow. I'm not busy. Buy a ticket now. How much are we talking? Oh, you gotta log in and all this stuff. Let me do this. Do you know what? I feel like that would be that would be good for yeah. For the content. Well, researchers for the podcast. Absolutely, it's educational. Anyway, educational, this podcast. Anyway, how are you, honey? Tell us while I have a look at these tickets. What? Spanish RB. Spanish RB. Spanish R B. You know, I like some Spanish songs. I used to listen to Rosalia on Loop to the point where I know some Spanish songs. Yeah, you do. And I don't even know what I'm saying. But he's like, he's like, like, you know, from Cinderella story. Yeah. Drew Seely. He's like the Spanish Drew Seeley. Right? His name's Fabro. Fabro. And he's got this song called No Era Amor. Ooh, okay. Right? Which means, like, that wasn't love. But the this man can sing. Can he? He can sing. I don't even know what he's saying. But you're taking it in. Honestly, I'm taking it in. Me Casa is all I'm saying. It's all I'm saying. He's just his his song is just amazing. I I listened to it on repeat. And I actually think it's quite funny because I'm not a Spanish speaker. No. But like sometimes I'm listening to it like when I'm walking like in the train station, and I'm like, I have no idea what he's saying. You pick up the words though, because when we've listened to a bit of Rosalia in the car, oh you're shocked. And it's ripping off these lyrics. And I'm like, how do you know these? I feel like um your Spanish um flatmate would have absolutely loved it. Oh, yeah. 100%. Shout out, Rodrigo. You're trying to teach me one of Rosalia's songs, and I just couldn't. It's tough language. Yeah, no, it is. It is. You really gotta run. Oh, we got ours. You know what we have to make? A podcast playlist. Yeah. For all the songs that we mentioned. So we can add them on a playlist and all the girlies can listen. Let's do that and we'll let put it in. Oh yeah, we got let we gotta do that today. Yeah, really. Then we'll put it in the bio so you guys can listen to it. And you can suggest songs to us. Oh, yeah, I was just about to say that. Let's definitely do that. Oh, this will be a short too. Put it in the comments. Put it in the camera. What songs do you like to listen to? Um, on the topic of music though, Lydia, you really need to listen to it. He's got a beautiful forsetto. Okay. Yep, stunning. I love a faux set oh. Um anyway. Also, girl bands and boy bands are back. They are. And I'm fucking loving it. Me and Lydia had an in-depth chat about girl boys. Goid girl girl bands or boy bands. Alright. Yeah. Um, Frequency, say now, our favourites, solidify. Yeah. Also, the pussy catzols are back for a world tour. They are back and they're selling tickets. Girl, we gotta go. They've come out with new music. I know. It's only three of them though. Oh, they've got is it is there more music? Well, uh, didn't they drop like two songs? Two new songs to like they're like, we've got new music and we're doing a tour. Right, yeah. I think I saw a little clip, but nothing will beat their original stuff. Like up we listen to their stuff on a weekly basis. Yeah. I remember popping that C D in my little CD player and strutting round the house, and I was like eight. Yeah. Right? It made us. It really did. It raised us. They are the baddest girl group ever. And I don't care if it's just Nicole singing. I don't give a fuck. I know. I know. But sorry girls. What are your favourite pussy cat dollars songs? Beep. It's funny how many ones that she got a real big heart, but I'm looking at ya. Got real big brain, but I'm looking at ya. It ain't nothing you're looking at. I'm a givea cute looking Emma, cause it'll mean a thing if you're looking Emma. I'ma do my thing while you're playing with ya.

SPEAKER_00 22:47

Ha ha ha.

SPEAKER_01 22:53

Um beep. Yeah. Chew. What's another one? Um Halo. Ooh! That's a sick one. Yeah, yeah. Halo. What else? If we're avoiding the classics, like buttons. Yeah, those are still. Don't you we should go, you know, if we're avoiding those. What's another one? Um I like hush hush. Because it starts slow, and I will never forget when me, you and Ramai. Shout out, Ramai, we love you. Yeah. Well, literally, in she it's like a disco theme, right? And we would literally we know the dance. Yeah. And the way we were twirling in this living room to that song. Hush, hush, hush, hush. And like Nicole's voc vocals are just crazy. She goes hard on that song. What's another one? Um I don't know. Um, I don't know. There's loads. Not magic. I think it is magic. Wait, no, I'm gonna. Because there's two albums. Yeah, magic. Pick a card, any card, what do you tell me? Attack into Rodeo. Yeah. And it worked like magic for me. That's a good shoot. What about it? What about um uh what's it called? Um I hate this part. With the slow through the snow and the heaven and right now, radios are the water. It's it's raining, girl. She's right in the desert. The wild. I swear, guys, I swear I can sing. Do you know what that's wild as well? Why would we sing properly right now? I know, you seriously. Yeah, imagine I yeah, that's icky. I know. I'm gonna sing silly for you, babes. That's what I'm gonna do. But yeah, bang, mate. Yeah, we need to get Athena to sent me, I sent Athena the teasers that were coming. I was like, something's coming. They do they're doing a London venue, right? It's a world tour. And you know what? They're bringing out Snoop Dogg. I'm telling you right now, they're bringing out special guests because how many collabs? Oh my god, yeah. Who else do they collab with? What was the guy from um there's that song where um Nicole's like she's got the fringe and a high pony, and she was like, I'm gonna need that Timberland? Oh fuck, yeah, what I want Hello, as if I didn't remember that. Um my favourite girl. Wait a minute. Oh my baby's sexy for sure. He only wants me for my body and soul. Wow. Well, why are you bearing like that? She's taken my money, don't even try and bring it back. Wait a minute, right? Yeah, we need to get over this. Anyway, guys, last thing, my beautiful friend Lenise is moving to Bali. She is so today. I'm off to London, right? And I can't wait to wear my my baddie outfit, right? You know what? There's there's nothing more fun that strutting through London in your boots. Yeah. I loved it a couple weekends ago. Yeah. I felt like Carrie. It's like, I don't know what it is about going out in London that's just more elevated, it's just a bit a bit more special instead of just nipping locally. Also, it's like we only really are in London for work. Yeah. So it's nice to like go for other reasons, just and not have a big old fucking bag on my back. Yeah. And like just my teeny tiny little bag. Running for a train with my lip gloss. Yeah. Yeah. So um today I've got like a leaving party. Um, and it's for my beautiful friend Denise, and she actually featured on our first very episode. She did. Remember the car alarm going off? Yeah, that is that is the knees, and yeah, she's been so supportive of this, like, this dream and this ambition that me and Lydia have had, and she knew about the concept before we even had like the name or like anything. Yeah, and she's just been there since the beginning. Me and her went through a very traumatic thing together from the bondage that just bonded us. But she's honestly, I think I think we've spoken about this on but on the podcast. But like finding friends when you're in your 20s, you kind of don't think it's gonna happen. You I kind of was comfortable that I had been blessed with all the friends that I have so far, but to have met her and been like I honestly can't imagine life without her. But I just I know she she's what she watches all the videos, she does. Um, and I just want to say when she's watching this, I don't know if she'll be in her new home or um she'll still be in London at that point, but I just wish you all the best, baby girl. And you've got this, and I feel like this is gonna be the most amazing chapter for you with like the most amazing blessings, and I can't wait to see you later and just have a boogie and a drink. Um so exciting, so exciting, exciting, what an adventure. I think everything you want is beyond that wall of fear and anxiety, and if you just make the plunge, it's it's really gonna pay off in abundance. So 100%. Yeah, that is that is my catch-up. I had loads of different notes, like me and Nidia throughout the week. We have to jot things down for when we have these catch-ups. 100%. I had to whittle down my my top my top few. Did you? Um, I really did. Um we've got to keep it brief, man. We can't do more than the sometimes it gets like 40 minutes, and I'm like, fuck. We got ramble for questions. We have rambled. No, we really have. Um, cool, we're gonna get into the dilemmas. Let's do it. Okay, so the dil dilemmas this week, we decided we've spoken a lot about men these last couple of weeks.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:11

And guys, life isn't all about men. As much as we like spang on about them, so we're gonna do a segment on living with people in your 20s. So this can be uni-related, yeah, it can be living with people whilst you're working, like if you've got a flat with some girls. Um, and Emma and I are gonna share our thoughts on it and what we've experienced, positive, negative, everything in between. Um, we've got some dilemmas here, so I'm gonna read them through and we'll go from there. Go ahead, baby girl. Cool. Okay, so the first one should you try to avoid the anxiety of moving in with strangers or embrace it as a part of the adventure of being in your twenties? Do you know what? I think it really depends on who you are as a person. Because I think while you're young and just exploring life, I do think you need to live with strangers because it's just a part of the experience. Before you get your house and you settle down, like with your man or whatever, I do think it can be a really like enriching experience and it can be so much fun, especially if you really get on with those people. Um, I've met a few of my friends just out of purely taking the plunge to live with strangers, yeah, and then being like, oh my god, like this really paid off. Yeah, but I've also had the bad as well. Yeah. What do you think? I think you can't have the good without the bad, kind of thing. I think don't give in to the anxiety. If you're feeling anxious about a decision, more than often you're holding yourself back from something that you should experience. Like, don't give in to that. I think, especially if you're in your early 20s, like you're meant to be taking risks and building stories and having adventures, and I think living with strangers, whether that's at uni or just in general, if you're all working in the same city or something like that. Um, I think it's a part of life, and I think you should do it. Like, there is the good and the bad, yeah, for sure. Um, but you are just gonna look back and laugh. Emma did the ultimate plunge in her final year of you, like ultimate deep end bucket, like I'm gonna live with strangers, and it really paid off. But you've also lived like your first year of uni, you lived in private calm. It was just you, like you've had both. I've done so many different situations, so to give we've got time, I'll give you a backstory. So my first year I lived alone. Um, purely because the uni I went to, it wasn't that everyone was guaranteed like halls, but I think that's with city unis, though. Yeah, if they don't have if the campus is integrated into the city, there's not space. So I was really like sort of le I didn't I didn't really get that, I wasn't clued up on that sort of in the beginning. So I was like, okay, I'm just gonna like live in a studio, see how it goes. And as much as I loved my own space, I do think it would have been nice to have just been with with people um because then I realised I don't like living alone from from that, yeah, because then I I feel like Lydia keeps me in check, to be honest with you. That's a hard thing to do at 19 to live alone. Oh, to be fair, yeah, I was 19. It's really hard. Like I was really young. I think only when you get into like peak adulthood do you understand how to live alone and comfortable with your own company, yeah. I wouldn't recommend it, but like also if you know who you are as a person, fine. And then in final year, I did the complete opposite, and I basically I was on placement year, and it because of COVID, there wasn't a lot of placements available, yeah. Um, so a lot of my friends didn't get placements and they graduated. So when I had to go back to uni to finish like my final year, no one was fucking there, yeah, or everyone had met people like in their final year or had already secured places. Um, so I was like, well, I was like, I just need a room. So off I went on to Facebook and there was like a few groups or whatever, and I remember I saw this ad, it was like, oh, house with seven boys, and like one room was free. And then I also applied for like seven girls and like a room was free. Um, and I basically I remember talking to you in the moment, I was like, fuck it, like it could be funny. I didn't think I was actually gonna go through with it, but I went through with it. I remember I had to keep it a bit of a secret for a while. I didn't tell mum, didn't tell dad. Also, I do think that there was strategy behind it because I think it was when you and I spoke about it, we were like, okay, if you move in with six girls who have known each other for three years and you're the new one, there could be dynamics that like if they go on a night out without you, you'll take it personally. Whereas if the boys go out without you, you ain't gonna care. I don't care, no, because they're boys, exactly. And I also think I was like, I've already got my friends, yeah. So I just feel like I knew the the girls were the because they had a group picture together, I was like, their friends, like friends. I don't like them, or if one of them's gatekeepy, about like me like coming into the friendship group. I just thought, okay, this looks really pick me, but I know myself, I know my character, and it actually was my favourite year because the boy group had a big girl group as well, yeah, and we're still friends to this day. I'm actually seeing them in summer in July. We're we like to go to Fisher events together. So um that's what we're gonna do, and I'm s I'm so glad it could have gone tits up, let's be real. It could have gone tits up, right? But it didn't, it actually worked out really well, and they were all really lovely guys. See, and there you go. So if you're if you're in the min if you're looking for flatmates right now, or you could take a place with three or four girls, or if it's mixed, like go ahead and do it because even if it's not the best experience, you will learn life skills through it. Like living with people that you don't particularly get on with, you'll learn how to manage conflicts, be honest, yeah, deal with difficult situations, or you can have a really great time and make friends and meet the people they're friends with, and it could be a really um great year for you. So don't give in to the anxiety. I think for me personally, I also had a mixed bag, but I went into my first year, I picked mixed accommodation, so I picked guys and girls, yeah. Um, and it was an even split: three girls, three guys. Um, and that was a really great experience because it's the small things like oh, I don't have a hairdryer, or have you got straighteners? Yeah, or oh, I'm really ill. Do you have any paracetamol? Yeah, it's little things, and I think when you're all experiencing the same thing, like homesickness, or it's a new job that you're settling in, or it's a new city, you're all in the same boat. Um, and I think as humans we are we are like community animals, we need animals, we are pack animals, that's the word. Yeah, um, so I think it's it's an adventure, and then in your 30s, you can get your own place. Yeah, you know. I just think follow your gut as well. Because I remember when I was talking to the guy who had the room in my final year house. Um, God, I have so many stories about that. Maybe we need to do an episode where we just talk about the shit, yeah, like just the funny stories. Yeah, but when I was chatting to the guy whose room I took, he responded straight away. He was very friendly, very chatty, like really like reassuring, and that just gave me like a really good gut feeling. Yeah, so I think trust trust that as well. Like commune if you are just like going into a house with people, have a little chat with them. In my second year house, we did an interview for the people who um moved into our house. Yeah, so my friend Aidan um was the one who was like actively like managing who we were gonna have into the house, and he interviewed two people, and one of them was Romy, and she moved into our house, and she's one of my best friends this time. Oh my god. So you didn't know Romy. No, I didn't know Romy before moving in. Oh my god, yeah, of course. She was a stranger, and I remember we moved in, and Athena was like, Should I take all you girls to McDonald's? And I remember going to Romy's room, I was like, Do you want to come to McDonald's with us? Oh, forget it. And um, we all just went and got food, and then yeah, I had and then we went into lockdown. So me and Romy were just like two strangers, yeah. We just got to know each other, and she's honestly one of my favourite people. I love that. So yeah, I think a lot of regard can come out of it. It can like take the plunge, then if it doesn't work, the next year you'll live on your own, and then you try. Okay, talking of memories. What's one of your favourite memories from living with people at uni? Oh, our prees were sick. A prees, you can't beat you can't beat it, and we had the biggest house, so I mean your house was max. It was huge. Your kitchen was huge, yeah. It was seven bedrooms, like it was it was massive. It was crazy. Um, and we had the biggest house, and like there was like two other houses that we mingled with, but they didn't quite, they didn't have the kitchen space, like their their kitchens and their living rooms were combined, so it was like like that open living. Yeah, um, our kitchen was huge, it was just it was massive. So I feel like the pre's were always really good fun, yeah. Um, because we could have as many people as we wanted. Um, but I just love I loved everything that happened at the pre's, everyone's excited, you know. The girls were getting ready in my room. Like I had the downstairs like bedroom that was on the ground floor, so I had like my own space, and all the boys were upstairs. Um, but the guys also had decks too, and we had like lights, and it was like it was such a vibe, and I love the conversations that happened at Preis, everyone's excited, no one's fucked yet, no one, there's no drama. No. Um, so I feel like I've had a lot of fun memories where pre's were really, really good. What about you? I feel like as uh outside of the preis, um, there was in my final year of uni, um, in the summer term when we were all like studying for exams and stuff, I don't know what it was, but the weather was immaculate. Yeah, it was sunny, like everyday, like tanning weather. Um, and my house was like the house that we hosted a lot of the time. Like we'd have people over for food and stuff, and we went, we had like one week um where we literally had like a barbecue almost every day, and we moved our sofa outside, our leather sofa. We put it in the courtyard, we moved everything outside, and everyone was just like sunbathing, sitting, like we like made dinner outside, like we were playing music, we were like playing games and stuff, and I just remember that being like a really fun and like peaceful time. Yeah, I drank so many coronas, like it was insane. I remember like one morning, like trying to drag the glass recycling bin like out to the street, and it was just like overflowing with Corona bottles, and it was like, Oh, whose house are we going to next? And there was this like park a little bit up the way from my house, and everyone would sunbathe there, and so like every afternoon we'd like go up there and put our towels down, and it was just like a really nice couple of weeks. Nice. Um, and yeah, I just loved that time. Um, and then it started to rain, and you know, as it does in England, yeah. Um, and I remember saying to my housemate Alex, I was like, remember to bring the furniture in later before you watch the football. And I came home and he'd still sat outside, he had a raincoat on, and he'd put the TV in the window of his room so you could see it in the courtyard, and he was just sat outside still, like basically wearing a plastic bag to shield from the fucking rain. And the boys were still trying to barbecue, and I was like, guys, the sun, it's like it's done now. Yeah, we had our fun, you were in denial. But yeah, I just remember doing tons of barbecues and like um having everybody around and it just being like a really, really fun time. Do you know what I like? That I think when you're at uni, you try and make every moment like as social and inclusive as possible. Whether you're like going to the library, if you need to study, it's like who's coming with us. And it's like after the library, after you've like done everything you need to do, our SU was opposite the library. So we used to be like our SU was also like I think the biggest one in Britain. It was huge, it was huge, it was like two. I've got off like a loose. Yeah, I feel like I've got hair on my face, but I can't see it. Lord have mercy. I've got hair on my face, guys. Anyway, don't matter. Um our student union was the biggest shooting union in the UK. It was like two floors, um, three actually, and it was just it was sick. So sometimes after the library, like spontaneous nights out, just like getting ready really quickly, and also living so closely together. It makes making plans with friends so easy, so easy, and you really take that for granted once you're five minutes from each other, you see each other every day. Yeah, my house was like the last house on the street, so mine was like you had to pass my house in order to go on a night out. So everyone would like walk past our house and like wait, and then we'd all go out together. Yeah, um, yeah, that's a hard transition, isn't it? Like you're in a bubble with all your friends, and then when you graduate, everybody moves to different parts of the country, and it's like you have to really plan to see each other. Yeah. Um, but having housemates like that is always so it's like so fun. Yeah, it really is. Um cool, okay. Similar sort of question. What's the most ridiculous or chaotic thing that ever happened whilst living with housemates at uni? I don't know if I can legally talk about this. I can talk about I know exactly what you're gonna say. I can go first whilst whilst you go. Go first while try and iron out the story. Basically, in my second year house, we had a similar situation where we had to pick um another person to live in like the spare room, basically. Because we had someone drop out and we're like, shit, okay, um, let's figure out who um can move into that room. Like, we'll put an ad out on like Facebook or whatever. Anyway, we got two girls to interview. Maddy, and I don't remember the name of the other girl. Anyway, I remember having a really good feeling about Maddie, and I was like, Yeah, my vote is Maddy, like let's give the room to her. Well, you know, you know. I just knew. I was like, I think she should move in. Like, she seems really relaxed, like, could be fucking wrong. Um, but anyway, when she moved in, I remember us being in the kitchen, and I was like putting away like my like kitchen stuff and like my bowls and plates and whatever, and she was in the kitchen doing the same thing, and I was we were talking and just like getting to know each other, and I was like, Oh, like um, we were talking about um being in relationships, and I was like, Oh, are you with someone? And she, I think she's still with this guy, Tom. Oh, he was lovely. Side note, he used they used to make sourdough, and they always used to give me a piece. She was a baker, it was incredible. They'd always like cook for me and stuff, loved them. Um anyway, I digress. So we were talking, and I was like, Oh no, like I just broke up with my boyfriend, um, and I told her his name. Um, and she was like, hang on. She was like, You work in that club, don't you? And I was like, Yeah. And she was like, Your ex was called whatever his name is. Blah blah blah. Um, and she was like, no fucking way. She was like, I lived with your ex in first year, and she was like, You were the girl he was talking about in first year, and I was like, no fucking way. She was like, You're so-and-so, and I was like, Yeah, I am. I was like, You lived with my ex-boyfriend last year. You're the Cypriot, actually, and I was like, Oh my god, it's like invisible string. She was like, I can't believe you were with him. I was like, Yeah, I can't believe it either. I was like, no way. And so we like bonded over that. But like she was a complete stranger, but there was like this thing connecting us that we like overlapped and had someone in common. Invisible string. That was a mad story. Also, do I have any other mad stories? Have you thought of yours? Yeah, I've got an endless list, but I just feel like I'm not surprised that my stories are a bit chaotic because of where I went. I'm trying I feel like who I mixed. If I had more time to think, I probably would be able to come up with more. What was the question? What's the most ridiculous chaotic thing you've ever happened while living at uni? Right, I've got two stories. Um, let's go with the first one. So, because I lived with seven boys, I don't know if this will make social media, but we'll see. A little bit in the longer. I'll overshare in this part the episode. It's on brand, so let's do that. Um, so in my final year of uni, um, I think it was a combination of like rugby players and hockey players, and I lived with the head of hockey, and naturally, as freshers come in, there's initiations that can happen, right? Um, but like I'm all new to this, like I had never lived with boys who were in like sports societies before, so I never really completely like understood how crazy like the socializing was. Um, my housemate like in second year did the initiations and they made him do like wild things. Like, I remember he came in in the smallest, the teeniest, tiniest plaid mini skirt and nothing else. No, yeah, yeah. Like, honestly, I've I've videoed him have to down like four pints one after the other, and then he turned around and proceeded to pull his trousers down and it said vote for me on his ass cheeks.

SPEAKER_02 48:13

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 48:14

And I was like, and then he proceeded to vomit immediately afterwards. Anyway, me being me, like I think in the house I was like trying to keep on top of like the cleaning, uh, how fucking stogy. I don't know how you didn't go fucking mad. The thing is, I knew I didn't really care about that stuff. Noise, mess, it never really got to me. And I knew that moving in, if I was the opposite, I'm sorry, if I was pissed off about mess, I had it fucking come in. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I was like, oh, like I'm told my housemate, I was like, I'm gonna clean the kitchen, I just feel like it needs a clean. Yeah. And he was like, oh no, no, no, no, no. Just can you wait until we're done? And I was like, Oh, okay, like he's probably gonna make dinner. Anyway, I'm in my room, and I hear my housemate come back with like a few of his hockey friends, um, and they come in with boxes of things, like boxes of milk. Sounds like there's jangling, like things are seasoning and whatever. I'm like, they're gonna cook. Yeah, they're gonna cook it. I don't know what they're making, yeah. But there's milk there and there's seasonings, I don't know, you know, standards, standard cup of things. Anyway, then I hear this what sounds like a roar of men, and there's guys sh shouting at what sounds like other men. Anyway, I come out of my room and I see men like starkers just in like little like pants, blindfolded on their hands and knees, and they're crawling into my kitchen, into my courtyard, and they lie on their backs one like after another, they look like sausages, like there was loads of them. I just I'm at my window because I've seen them come in like cattle, right? And I've gone to my room, which looks at the courtyard, and I've opened the I've opened the um the curtain and I'm just looking and I'm like, I have no fucking idea what is happening. Yeah, because I was none the wiser of what initiations or hazing is, yeah. And I was like, fuck, that's what this is. They made the boys snort chili powder, they ch they took them down to our basement. Our basement was like the whole bottom floor of the house, like in little rooms, it was fucking scary. Took them down there, chucking eggs at them, chucking. Imagine my friend went down there. I thought it was just the boys, and I was like, Sam and Sarah. I was like, what are you doing? She was like, I just chucked a wet watermelon at someone. I went, a watermelon? She went, it's only half of a watermelon, less impact. I was like, fucking hell. Anyway, yeah, they made them do some mad shit. Like they made them like drink gone off milk, they made they were chucking fish guts at them. And who cleaned that basement? Lydia, the whole house stunk of fish for a whole week. Oh my god. It was awful. It was insane. And I remember I just sat at the top of the stairs while everything was going on. Oh my god. Anyway, um, because of where we lived, we were actually quite close to other houses, and the other houses had filmed everything that was going on. Shit, I remember. And then I got an email from the university saying that I had violated one of the um one of the codes of conduct conduct and I had to do an interview to state my case. They showed me they was I knew they were gonna show me video evidence, but it was only three of us in the house that they showed showed this to. Um they were gonna show me video evidence of what had happened, so our houses that our our neighbours had snitched on us. Yeah. Snitched on them, not me. I'm the only girl in the house, for fuck's sake. Anyway, in the email, I've just gone, oh, I don't know the guys, like I've just moved in. Obviously, they're my friends now, but I've got to save my own skin. Yeah. And anyway, I was the first one to go in the series of interviews. So it was me, and then it was the next two guys, and we were getting our stories straight. So I was like, I'll go first. I went first, and I I I they were like, You need to tell us if you recognise any of the people in this video. First of all, they asked me if I was safe to watch the video. I was like, Yeah, I'm fine. Because I've gone, I don't know these boys, whatever. They think they're hooligans from the videos, so they've asked me if I'm safe. I was like, Yeah, I'm I'm safe. I'm safe. Um, anyway, I watched the video and I'm like, oh, it's the back of his head, no worries, whatever. And then my housemate turns around and necks a bottle of beer and he pauses it on his face. He's like, Do you know this individual? And I was like, No, I was like, I don't know who it is. And I came out and my housemates just stood there and they went, Well, I went, it's bad, I'm not gonna lie. I was like, I can tell it's you, but I was like, that's only because I know you. Anyway, no one was hurt, there was nothing outrageous. I promise you now, if I caught wind of them necking bottles of vodka, I wouldn't have let it happen. Oh yeah, you'd have stopped. Because I know it's bad. Like, I think my housemate was telling me that his friend went to a uni and they made him bite into a live fish. Like, jump into a pond, swim into a pond, catch a fish, and take a bite out of it. Are these boys alright? I know they're honestly they're feral. Are we in America? I I know they skive in America. I know we need to relax. Well, he got he got expelled. They got rid of him. Yeah. So I was like, look, no one's been hurt, everyone was fine, but yeah, that is my wildest uni story. You put my story to fucking shame. I don't really have any chaotic stories. Um, I have more chaotic stories about do I have any chaotic stories about working in a nightclub? Oh my god, that guy that was obsessed with me. Oh my god, Lydia. Tell them. I don't know why I was thinking specifically about housemates, but obviously, as I've mentioned before, I used to work in a nightclub at uni. Never really had any issues, to be honest. I I always felt safe at work. Yeah. And like, if I walked home, I never walked home alone, or at the time I had a boyfriend and he would walk me home. Um, so I never felt like it was an issue. Um, so anyway, in my final year, I went back to work in the club that I'd worked in before I went on placement. And um at the time I was a bottle girl, so I was working on like the booths and stuff. And there was this one guy, I thought he was gay. I made the assumption. So I was being nice to him. He was like, I love your glasses, whatever. Um, we're chatting back and forth. Um, and he was can I have your number? And I was like, I just said yeah, and I put it in his phone. In hindsight, shouldn't have done that. Um, and then I realized he actually had an interest in me. Um, and this man was belling my phone, like texting me, repeat texting me. He sent me an email. I don't know how he got my email. I don't think I have it now, but I could have a look. Shut. Um, and anyway, I'm like, oh, he's a bit funny, and then um I go into work, it's a Saturday night, um, and I'm on shift and I'm on the bar actually, and he comes in and I'm like, oh god, like I'm probably gonna have to serve this man. Um, I'm trying to avoid him. I get put on the booth, so I'm like off the bar at this point. So I'm walking on the floor in and amongst customers, and he's trying to pull me. And I'm like, like, can you just not? Like, I'm not interested, whatever. He was persistent. Um, and I was like, I feel really uncomfortable. I just go up to my manager and I'm like, can we just get him removed? Because I don't feel like I can do my job. This man's been messaging my phone, he won't take no for an answer. Anyway, the bouncers kick him out, and it's the end, that's the end. I get on with my work, and then I want to say, maybe like 30 minutes goes by, 40 minutes, and I shit, you know, I see this man back in the club and he changed his clothes. And I was like, that's him. And so I go, I go up to my manager, and I'm like, this man's just gotten back in here, but he's changed his clothes and he's managed to get back in the club. Fuck. And they're like, where is he? They go and find um the head doorman. He grabs all of the bouncers in this club, and he makes me go and find him in a in the middle of the dance hall. People part like the Red Sea. There's ten man stood behind me, like this man's just fucking assaulted me. I'm like, don't think we need ten of you. And like, that's him. I find him, they grab him, they chuck him out, they bar him, and I'm like, fuck. I don't think I can walk home. I didn't see him again, thankfully. But I was like, he's changed his clothes, and I remember seeing him stood in VIP, and I'm like, he's got a hood up and he's changed his jeans or whatever. Lady, that's fucked. Scary. So someone dropped me home that night. So, moral of the story: do not give your number out if you work in a nightclub because you never know who you're gonna meet. Um don't give your number out in general, to be honest. Um, but my man got in the club for a second time that night. Doesn't make the club look very great, but they did deal with it quite quickly. Jesus, he went home and changed his clothes and came back. That is calculated. Mm-hmm. Fucking hell. Craziness. Crazy behaviour. Craziness. Okay, last question just because you're good friends with someone, does that necessarily mean you'll be good housemates? This is true. This is the reason why we don't we me and Lydia only live together, to be honest with you. It is, because we don't feel like it's a fair balance in hindsight, because we're family to have a third person, it would have to be four or five people to make it work. Um, I've I've experienced both sides of this. Personally, I think just because you're good friends does not mean you'll live well together. And we've had friendships that have been damaged from living together. Yeah. Um, and I just think long term you don't want to risk that because you don't want to fall out with someone that you really like over fucking dishes and bills and taking the bins out and all that stuff. It's ridiculous. Um, my close friend from uni, Laura, love you babes. Um, we knew each other, we we maybe sure saw each other two, three times first year, and then we were like, we should move in together. And we did, didn't see each other all summer, and we were like, we don't really know each other and we're about to move in together. She's my best friend, and we lived together every year that we were at uni, apart from when we were on placement, and it didn't damage our relationship just because we were quite easygoing, and how we wanted to live aligned, so how we what we wanted to eat, like I'd get things, she would buy things, so financially we weren't like stingy with each other. Um, but I've also experienced living with people and not spoken to them again after living with them, yeah. So it it's difficult. I think you can have both. I just think you don't really know someone until you move in with them. 100%. And I think that it is a shame to like jeopardize a friendship because of that. Yeah, I think living with your friends is something you talk about in school and you want to do it, and it's so exciting, and it is if it works out, but if it doesn't and there's friction, that can be really hard to navigate because you can't exactly leave and like you can't exactly like avoid that person, especially if you live with them. I had a lot of controversy, I had a lot of friction with someone at uni who I lived with, and it was hell on earth, it was World War III every day in our house, and that kind of energy just fucks with your mental. It does. Because if you're someone to sweat the small things, you're thinking about it constantly. And what if you both don't agree and there's awkward silence at home? You just don't want that, yeah. But then it also teaches you to try and find common ground on things and try and learn to communicate. Because if you're someone that finds it hard to be honest, bloody hell. If you don't get on with your housemate or someone you live with, and you find it hard to be like, it really bothers me when you don't take the bins out when it's your chance to take them out. Um, or if you're someone who's bothered by mess or you're easily triggered, um, living with someone is not for you, babes. Yeah. Um yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it is so true. And I just think definitely try it. I feel like it's something you should do, like at some point in your life. I think it's exciting, and I think if it works out well for you, great. But I also think if you're like if you're like an only child who hasn't grown up with sisters or siblings and doesn't like things being shared or doesn't like mess, like I think if you grow up with siblings, you know if you go and come back, things aren't gonna be where they were when you left. Yeah, if you're someone who likes things to be where they are, you should probably just live alone. You probably should just live alone. Yeah, and I think it's just I think it's just black as what black and white as that too. If you're e if you're both easygoing, um then it should be fine. Yeah. Because um my friends Abby and Meg, they lived together final year of uni, but they didn't live together at all um throughout the majority of their friendship in our group. They moved in together, absolutely fine. Yeah, but they were both really easygoing characters and they weren't really bothered about the small things, so there wasn't there was no tit for tat, which is what can happen. Yeah, um, and you don't want that to drive a wedge between a friendship because I don't think you necessarily need to live well together to prove that it's a good friendship. Sometimes you just need your space, yeah. Like agreed. I we've had people ask us, like, oh, should we should we do something? And I'm like, I love you too much to risk falling out with you over the dishwasher, yeah. Agreed, and that's just how it is. Yeah, like we have to kiss and make up because we're sisters, yeah, and it feels very like it feels very neutral for me anyway. Like, we don't have to ask each other permission for things, even though when we're in the supermarket, and all going, can I get this? I'm like, Yeah, get what you want, it's because I know you're trying to be good. I'll choose if I want to eat it. I'm pushing the budge. And I was like, Can I get porn cocktail? I was like, Yeah, yeah. Um, but no, living with people is it's a part of growing up, it's learning to compromise compromise, it's learning to communicate, and it also like helps teach you more about yourself and the kind of people that you're compatible with or not compatible with, but it is fun and it builds stories, and I think that's what life is all about, you know, having stories that you can reflect on, you know. Cool, those are all the dilemmas. Yeah, I really liked that actually. I really liked actually reflecting on like our time at uni because there are some wild stories, and even though me just being sat here, yeah, I've thought of some things that I'm like, oh my god, I can't believe that happened or this happened. Okay. Um, but that was really fun. Um cool. No, we need to do another one. I love all the like you said, there's so many stories, and I think we need to share them all. Just need to share absolutely that you've got fucking loads. Oh, I've got loads of PG in your story. Loads of stories. Um, but yeah, cool. Well, we post a new episode every Thursday. We do. Make sure to follow us on TikTok and Instagram, show us some love over there. Make sure to share our content, comment on our content. We'd love to hear from you guys. We are gonna build that girls who overshare. I imagine it'll be a Spotify playlist. Yeah, we'll go put some song recks in the comments and we'll add them so you girls can listen whilst you're waiting for the episodes each week. I think that might be really nice. So amazing. Thank you for oversharing, Emma. Thank you for sharing, Dean. We'll leave it there, girlies. Have a lovely rest of your week and weekend. Yeah, it's almost the weekend. You're almost subscribed. You're almost suburbs. You've done it. You've done it. Yeah, you can see the end is in sight. Yeah. End is nick. Love you.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:33

Lost in a space right now. I don't think one knows always better one to do the good.