Untitled Episode

How can I cope with Miscarriage?

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

How can I cope with miscarriage? So firstly I hope that this podcast helps to point you in the right direction for further support and how to navigate the complex grief after such a traumatising event. Additional and specialist emotional support is very important so that you get a chance to talk and process in a safe space. So I have outlined resources at the end of this podcast. So miscarriage loss can involve a wide range of emotions, such as sadness, anger, guilt, shock, which can be emotional and physical. Many individuals report feeling isolated and then also having to come to terms with that change of identity, just as you've got used to becoming a mother or a father. There are some challenges listed below and some strategies to help you through them, but please remember each person has their own unique way of feeling and grieving, and that there is no right or wrong way. 1. You may be grieving differently from your partner, especially if you've experienced the loss physically as well as emotionally. I often hear how there is a lack of understanding from the partner and a difference between how each half of a couple feels about the loss. It is worth considering getting your own independent support from a professional which can then alleviate pressure and tension from the relationship and also encourage your partner to do the same. Two, you may and probably will experience complex grief around a life not yet lived. A typical mourning ritual which helps the grief process is absent, so can make the grief feel invisible. So create your own memorial involving close friends and family at a place and a time where you can share your loss and come together. Three, physical effects can include fatigue and hormonal symptoms. Please lean into your the support from your consultant or GP for support around physical pain, discomfort, and your recovery plan. Number four, our relationships with our bodies are impacted after miscarriage, and some individuals feel that they've been let down by their body, and this in itself can lead to feelings of worthlessness and questions such as what is my purpose? So it's really important to connect with our bodies again, and we can do this using self-nurturing methods such as taking scented warm baths, wearing our favourite clothes that feel soft and comfortable, wearing our favourite perfumes or scents, and somatic exercises can all be useful. I think encourage you to look into somatic therapy as our body does tend to store trauma and heavy emotions. Number five, take space when you need to. Do not expect yourself to be able to continue, especially in sensitive and triggering situations and environments such as weddings, christenings, or baby showers. Show yourself compassion and give yourselves time as you rebuild and allow for the grief to be felt. So here are some useful resources. Look at there's a great miscarriage support tool on Tommy's miscarriage charity. So just Google Tommy's and have a look at the tools around miscarriage. It can assess how how what sort of help you could go on to need. There is a miscarriage UK support line which is 0303036464, and this is open from 9am until 4 p.m. Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays, and 9am to 8pm on Wednesdays and Fridays. And SANS free helpline is open from 10am to 3pm Monday to Friday, and 6pm till 9pm on a Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday evening. And their number is 0808 164 3332. Please look after yourselves. Thank you.