Demystifying & Healing "The Shadow" - How to heal the parts you hide

If the whole idea of “the shadow” has ever felt confusing, heavy, or a little mysterious… you’re not alone. Most people think it’s something dark and scary but really, it’s simply the parts of us we've learned to suppress, hide or deny.

In this talk, I’m breaking it all down in a way that actually makes sense — what the shadow really is, how it shows up in your life, and how to start healing it with understanding instead of judgment.

The truth is, your shadow isn’t something to fix — it’s something to embrace. (Yep, you hear that correctly!) It’s where your strength, creativity, and freedom have been waiting all along.

So if you’ve ever wanted a clear definition of what "the shadow" is and how to work with it — this conversation is for you. Let’s bring those hidden parts into the light together. 💫

📝 Download the "Shadow Work Workbook" mentioned in the talk: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1aePZAdMW-MSXfG236_YuYBgr-WHmLcxm/view?usp=sharing

For FREE Resources, Book Link, 1:1 Mentoring, KB’s Self-Love Merch Shop and more: https://www.linktr.ee/kristenbrownauthor

Transcript

Kristen : 0:01

Hello everyone. Welcome to Empower Our Talk Show with KB. This is a podcast for the sacred rebels and the courageously curious. For those who crave growth, long for deep transformation, and are ready to do the inner work to get there. Here we explore self-healing, personal growth, and soul alignment through heart-centered conversations that remind you of your wisdom, your worth, and the power to create change from the inside out. If you're ready to break old cycles, reclaim your pro power, and embody your authentic confidence, you have found the right place. And today we are going to be talking about demystifying and healing the shadow. Another one of my favorite conversations. I crack myself up with this stuff because I say that every single time. And I really just nerd out on this work. I speak from a place of having healed so much of my inner world and watched the landscape of my entire life change in the most beautiful and amazing and remarkable ways. And since then I've been on fire to continue not only my own inner work, but to share that with others because I know that there is a way. There is a way to stop suffering. There's a way to break through patterns in our lives. There's a way to get it done. And today I'm giving you a really important topic, one that I love so much, because I didn't realize back in the day that I was actually doing shadow work. Like I mentioned on yesterday's talk, there's many terms and labels that people call these type of things, but the healing journey is really pretty much the same as us going within and finding those pieces and parts of ourselves that are not showing up in a great way in our life. It's really what it boils down to. So in this talk today, I'm going to be demystifying what the shadow is. For those of you who might be the first time that you're hearing even the term the shadow, like, what the heck is this, Kristen? Or maybe for those of you who have done it, you know, worked with your shadow for quite some time, maybe this is just a refresher, a reminder, maybe validation for what the work that you've been doing. At any rate, I hope that you stick and stay. Grab yourself a pad of paper and a pen so that you can take some notes. But also I want to invite everybody, and I'll mention this a couple times through this talk, is that I made a free PDF called The Shadow Work Workbook. Illuminate, what did I title it? Illuminate and Heal Your Shadow or something like that. Sorry, I just titled that two days ago. It's a beautiful, beautiful PDF. It's very simple, it's very easy, it's very aesthetically pleasing. It's got some amazing quotes and visuals in it as well. So I hope that you download that free PDF. And you can do so by clicking on my profile picture here, clicking where it says my link tree. Then there'll be another link at the bottom that says my website or my link tree. Click my link tree, click on it, it'll be the very first box. I put it at the top so it's easy to find. Click on that. That'll take you to where you can sign up to receive that. On that page, especially if you're doing it on your phone, it's going to be the second uh free guide. It's gonna be not the not the first one, that's um what's it called? Um, blind spots and boundaries. That's the first one. But the second one will be the shadow. And this is a great PDF. And like I said, you don't always have to print these because it uses up a lot of printer ink, but do it if you want to. You can do it in black and white if you want. It's pretty much black and white anyway. But you can also just have a pad of paper and pen nearby and work with the workbook on your own piece of paper. So, at any rate, I really hope that you enjoy that PDF. I would love to hear back from you about it. This might be an introduction into it for you, or like I said, it could be just furthering your practice. Whatever that looks like for you, we are all at different stages, different levels of our journey. There's nothing to be compared with with anybody else. We are always right on time based on where we're at in our lives. We are right on time. So oftentimes we can judge ourselves and think that we are not where we should be. We we should we should quote unquote be further along than we are, or that why can't I get this right or heal this thing or whatever? No, no, no. Judgment doesn't do us any good. It really doesn't, it only sets us back. So please, I invite you to refrain from judging yourself in any capacity when it comes to this type of work and the healing journey, because there is, we cannot compare ourselves to other people. We are so unique in our design and where we are on our spiritual and healing path. So let's talk about the shadow. What is this thing? Well, Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist, coined this term. He started working with the idea of the shadow in 1913 to 1917. And the research shows that when he, it wasn't until after he broke away from Freud, I didn't know this, but he worked pretty closely with Sigmund Freud, when he worked away, or I'm sorry, moved away from Freud is when he really started to articulate this. And in the early 1920s is when he coined the term the shadow and he started to write about it and to speak about the shadow. And later, Debbie Ford, who was a beautiful teacher in the world, spiritual and empowerment teacher, I'll just call her that. She actually wrote the book, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, and she co-wrote the book, The Shadow Effect, with Deepak Chopra and Marianne Williamson. So there's a lot of people in the world out there that know about the shadow. It is a very, it's it's to me, it was one of Young's theories, but it has proven to be so incredibly true. I really think it was a breakthrough in psychology and psychiatry back in the day, and it's something that still holds true to this day. So, what is the shadow? And I want to give you the very simplest explanation that I can give you, and that is it's basically just a part of your personality that you usually don't see or don't want to see. It is the hidden side of you. And this can include traits, feelings, or desires that you think are bad or unacceptable, or that you need to hide because it will not gain you favor in the world. But also, this means we can be denying some really positive aspects about ourselves as well. Again, this happens through our life experiences, the traumas and the dramas that happen. So Debbie Ford described the shadow part as the parts of you that you hide, deny, and suppress, the parts of you that you don't want others or even yourself to see. She explained that the shadow includes both the negative and positive traits that we've pushed away. So I'll give you a quick example. We might hide our anger, jealousy, or self selfishness, but also our power, creativity, or confidence. Okay, isn't that crazy? We may hide traits like anger, jealousy, and selfishness, but also power, creativity, and confidence. If we were taught somewhere along the journey that those qualities were unacceptable, beautiful quote from her is we live in a world of duality, light and dark, good and bad, and we are all made up of both. Her core message was when you embrace your shadow, instead of fighting it and denying it, you gain freedom and wholeness. She also called this reclaiming your power because every quality that we reject also hides energy, strength, and authenticity that you use once to accept. So I hope that is a clear example. It is a part of us that we are denying, suppressing, and hiding. We are pushing away as really it's an unconscious thing. It just kind of happened naturally and organically, but it's still there. It's still underneath, it's still the programming, the mechanism that is running the show. It is the unconscious things. And this comes out in so many different ways, but mostly from judgment. And I found that when I did this work, probably started to do this work like 15 years ago, still look within with this, with these types of things to this day. But back then, when I really started to do this work, and I started to look at every time that I judged somebody, like, I can't believe this person is doing this, or oh my gosh, this person is so that. When I started to catch myself and become conscious of that, the first thing that I did was turn within and say, where is this in you? And that's because we will project our shadow onto other people. And so it comes out in our judgments. So, you know, if you can think about today's world, this political climate that we're in, and I'm not going political, so no one come up and start talking politics, okay? We don't go there. But you see the left so judging the right, and the right so judging the left. And the right thinks they're righteous and they're they're correct, and the left thinks they're righteous and they're correct. Really, they're like, oh, look at them, they're so judgmental. Well, guess what? They're projecting their own judgment onto that other party. Both parties are judgmental, if you get what I'm saying. Okay. That could be one example of it, but yet when we ground down into the idea that we're right and everybody else is wrong, then we are cutting ourselves off from a crucial aspect of our healing, a crucial place, a doorway into where we can actually look within and discover things about ourselves that are really crying and calling to be healed. Now, some people might think this work is daunting, some people might think this work is easy. It really depends where you're at on your journey, truly, because um, I just know people that would really have a difficult time with this. And I know other people that are just like, oh yeah, yeah, it's totally me. Oh yeah, you know, and there's no judgment to be had in either place. The one thing that I do ask of you is that you give yourself grace through this entire process. Just be gentle with you. Be gentle with you. You are a human being, you have picked up things along the way. It doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. You are not broken. For the love of Cocoa Puffs, do not call yourself broken. You are not broken. You're a human being that has some programmed and conditioned ways of thinking and believing in your brain due to the experiences of your past. So, broken is not an option, okay? You're just programmed. That's all it is. It's just programming. So I'm going, Peter. Peter said I'm cuckoo for cocoa buffs. Oh my gosh, that's so funny. I could totally take that and roof with that, but I'm gonna leave it right there. Okay, so we're just gonna dip and dip into real quickly just some examples of the shadow. And I asked Jeep Chat GPT for these examples because I figured you guys were sick of hearing my same examples over and over again. So I said, okay, give me some examples of the shadow that I can share with per people. So there's one, number one would be, and these are just examples, you guys. There's so many. There's so many examples, but just to give you a feel and a taste of what of what it really is, there is the quote unquote nice person who snaps. So let's say that Sarah always tries to be kind and polite, but one day someone comes cuts her off in traffic and then she explodes into rage. But she is the nice person and she sees herself as only a nice person. What the shadow is, is her anger and assertiveness. Feelings she usually hides so that she can be perceived as nice and to maintain her image. So she's hiding natural feelings and natural behaviors. Assertiveness is a positive thing. Anger is a totally normal emotion, but she's hiding those because she feels like she needs to be nice. But then it shows up, that shadow shows up just out of the blue in this snappy, kind of crazy way. And then, you know, people like, what the heck? I thought she was so nice. And then she's now questioning herself because she's like, Where did this come from? I'm not doing a good job at maintaining this facade. So the lesson here is that Sarah realizes that it's okay to feel anger and that it can actually help her set healthy boundaries and to speak up about her needs rather than bottling things up. So instead of suppressing it, denying it, ignoring it, acting like it didn't happen, making excuses for it, whatever Sarah might do, instead of saying, wow, I got instead saying, wow, I just really lost it right there. I got really mad. Like, what is this trying to show me? That's a beautiful example of the shadow because there's these things are going to bubble up out of us in some regards because they are part of us. And the same way that this hidden emotion bubbled up, you know, and and came out into the world that is equally as beneficial as when we notice when we're projecting. One of my favorite things to do is anytime, and I worked a lot with this because I really wanted to understand it on a deep level. And this is before I knew it was the shadow. I had learned about projection through other means. And I said, okay, well, I want to work with this. Let me see what this is all about. And so anytime I even had a thought about another person, I asked myself, is this projection? And I was so open with myself and so honest with myself. I didn't feel any cringe, any ego, any fear about it. I was, oh my gosh, just so I was tuned in, tapped in, turned on to the healing journey. Like I was all in because I I wanted to break the habits and patterns that I had in my past. And there was times where I was like, yep, that's me. I see it. That's me right there. And I just remember just sitting with it and just accepting that it was me. And do you know that that judgment went away? I stopped judging people for that thing. And all I did was just accepted that it was a part of me. That's all I did. I was like, yeah, I can see that's in me. And I made it be okay. I just accepted it that it was okay. And then that particular judgment stopped happening. What it was replaced with was understanding and compassion. Okay. And also I feel like when I've done that, I healed that aspect of me. There was a part of me that stopped being that way because I accepted it and loved it. And to me, the the operative point here is that when I loved it, because not only did I accept it and say, okay, yes, that's me, but I loved it. I sent love to that aspect of me. It was then healed. And I noticed that I was, let's say, if I was a 10 at that thing prior, I was maybe a two or a one or a zero. Those aspects of me started to heal because they just wanted to be seen, acknowledged, heard, and loved. Okay, another example might be a hardworking employee who secretly judges others. Let's say that Mark prides himself on being responsible and hardworking, and he feels irritated by coworkers who take breaks and leave early. It drives him nuts. He gets so irritated, he gets so mad. So, what is the shadow? His shadow is his laziness or his wish and desire to rest. These are things that he represses because he sees it as bad. So he pushes those away, he he deems them as bad. So now he's judging everybody else in the world who's doing it. When really they're just aspects of himself that he needs to accept and honor and love. And it's just amazing because when you do start working with those things, you will see people through a different lens. The judgments will drop or they'll become extremely soft. Another point I wanted to make is that when I started doing a lot of the when I was really doing this work like really deep, I and I was questioning everything, circling back to what I was saying earlier, I noticed that sometimes it wasn't a projection, it was just an it was just an observation. Okay, judgments to me, and you must become well aware and adept at recognizing how your physical body feels when you are judging. It's very different than when we are observing. When I judge somebody, I feel my heart clench. I feel tense, more tense in my body. When I'm just observing, and I say, wow, that person like really pretty lazy. They don't really do anything. Let's use that for an example. If it's just an observation, then it doesn't feel like anything. It feels very neutral in my body. So, really key point here that I have not heard anybody else express out in the world, it was important for me to understand because I did want to heal the parts of myself, but I wasn't going to own things that were not active now. Okay. Maybe they were active at one point and that was good. I was like, yes, I owned that. Maybe it wasn't active now. Maybe I was just observing because they say you spot it, you got it type thing. Well, yes, if we are someone who used to be selfish, it's really easy to spot a selfish person because you know what it looks and feels like. That doesn't mean maybe you're actively selfish anymore. So, yes, you had it, maybe um you still have it, but you work with it, I don't know, or it's just gone completely. It doesn't mean that you're not going to see it. But this is where you got to get really honest with yourself. You have to be your own best advocate here. You have to be willing to look within and say, this is true, this is active, this is real, I can see this, or it used to be really true. Maybe it's just now a little bit true, or maybe it's just an observation. Okay. No one can do this for you, everyone. This is something we have to do for ourselves. And the more honest we are and straightforward we are with ourselves, the better that we're going to be able to do this work. The faster it is that we're going to heal, because honesty is absolutely key. I'm gonna pause and check out some messages because I have somebody who cannot, who's having trouble joining. Terry said I was in the live and got redirected. That's weird. I'll go out. The app and come back. Okay, Terry. Hopefully you can. Hopefully that'll work out for you. Terry was up here yesterday and it was her first time on our stage, and it was really excellent. Let me see who's sending up love now. Monica, how's it going? Amani, Adinga, Peter, Aimi. Oh my gosh, so good to see all of you. Svetlana, love to see all the new names. Sally, Lisa, who else? Kathy. Great to see all of you. Thank you for sending up your emojis and your claps. Share. I'm scrolling down through the bottom here. All right, I'll stop right there. Just want to say thank you to all of you for um acknowledging and playing along on this talk today. And I'm going to be bringing up my first guest slash co-host, Monica. Thanks for joining me, Monica. Hi there.

Monica: 20:50

Hey, long time no talk. Oh, thank you for bringing this up. I actually have um been kind of working on this, believe it or not. And glad that you're talking about this. And I do want to thank you for giving me a new perspective because I have been saying that I'm broken. And to to be able to change the verbiage, you know, to say that I've been programmed instead. Um, I appreciate that a lot.

Kristen : 21:23

Yeah, we're all the walking wounded Monica.

Monica: 21:26

Yeah.

Kristen : 21:26

We just are.

Monica: 21:28

Yeah. I happen to find um at Target, my favorite store, they have a shadow growth journal. Nice. And um, so um I started working on it, and um there is a lot, you know, um, in here. I mean it's pretty it's pretty interesting. It you know, it um it's a lot of writing.

Kristen : 21:55

Yes.

Monica: 21:56

It's it's a lot, a lot of writing. And um, you know, uh the examples that you gave are pretty spot on. You know, because I too um I have this coworker who I thought I was going crazy because I thought I was the only one who kind of saw her this way, and I thought I was being kind of the judgy one because she kind of grated on my nerves, and um but because I'm doing a lot of this work now or starting to do some of this work, I've gotten into a place where you know what, I'm just gonna accept her as her as she is, where she's coming from.

Kristen : 22:37

Monica, we got the mute on you, dear. I think she might have gotten a phone call. Monica, come back to us. Okay, she might have got involved in a phone call. So I'm gonna go ahead and drop her down and then she can come back up. Monica, come back up. And please oh, there she is. Okay. Here we go. All right, we're gonna continue. So we're talking about the coworker that's grading on your nerves. You've decided to accept her. Sorry, Bob Salin.

Monica: 23:07

And so, yes, um, she, you know, she she's been grading on my nerves, and I've been, you know, gotten to a point where, okay, because of doing the shadow work, I'm, you know, because I have my own flaws myself. I, you know, instead of working, you know, looking at her, I'm trying to you stop pointing the fingers because I have four fingers pointing at myself.

Kristen : 23:31

Right. Have you looked within and asked what aspects of her are grading on your nerves? And do you two possess those aspects?

Monica: 23:40

Yes, I do. Um a lot of it, you know, believe it or not, I kind of see my mom in her the way her mannerisms, the way she talks to people because she can be condescending. Um and um she uh how do you say it? She kindly belittles you. Um she used to she used to work in a school. And so she had she has this very nice teachery way of you know belittling you or get what you're saying. Yeah, and just oh man, you're like, really?

Kristen : 24:29

So what I'm hearing is that this is actually triggering you because it's remind it's reminding you of your mother. So it's touching an unhealed aspect of you, so it is serving. And you know, this would probably require um learning to forgive mom or understanding why mom was the way she was, and you know, not to say, and then your lens through which you receive this co-worker will likely morph.

Monica: 24:58

Yeah, yeah. So I, you know, I I just try to take her with a grain of salt. Like every time I come in to work, it's kind of like this whole who-saw thing. I have to kind of go in like as I'm trying to get into work. I and I when I look to see who I'm working with and I see her, I just take a deep breath in, you know, and I have to kind of do this whole mantra meditation kind of thing, and it's like it's gonna be okay today.

Kristen : 25:23

I'm sorry, you cut out. What was your last sentence?

Monica: 25:26

No, just saying it's gonna be okay today. Yes, it's it is gonna be okay, you know, and my the way I talk to her now, I used to be really short with her and kind of brash and and just didn't really pay attention to her. And now I'm more kind and patient and you know, understanding, and I I get I kind of get her, but she still by the end of the day, I can only do the 12 hours and that's it.

Kristen : 25:57

Well, so I love that you're making that shift because she what you might be judging in her, because you said brash and short and what have you, that could have the same feeling that you're feeling from her. You could be giving that feeling back to her. So it could be that you're equally have that in you as well. And so when you love and accept those aspects of yourself, then you will be better able to show up with love to her.

Monica: 26:22

Gotcha. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, totally makes sense. Yeah, just having that, I guess, the ability to forgive her and meet her where she's at. Yeah. And now the the beauty of my, I guess, change over the last, you know, month or so with her is that pe other people see what I've seen, that it wasn't just me being mean to her or being because people would kind of look at me because I'm actually very nice to people or tend to train people in a kindly way and take my time and people like train me training them. People don't like the way she trains them, so they tend to come and and sit with me instead, and which is fine, I don't mind that, but um yeah, uh so people actually are seeing what I've seen and understand, and so now people don't really like to work with her, they actually dread working with her. And I had a co-worker this past weekend say, you know, I've worked the last five days with this particular person, and now that I'm working with the it's us three, the whole shift, the whole vibe is different. And I'm like, Yeah, sometimes that's what it is, and that's what it takes, is you know, just changing the shift. And I said, But I've he can tell that I've really been trying with this particular lady. You know, my best. But yeah, it the the shadow work can really make a difference in in how you perceive people and and 100%. The Jedi thing really will start going to the wayside and and give you a different perspective.

Kristen : 28:06

Yes. Thank you so much, Monica. Thank you for coming up. I appreciate you. That was an excellent share. And of course, the stage is open for anybody else who would like to come up and share your pieces and parts regarding this topic. It's a big conversation. And if anything comes up for you, please come up and share. Okay, so we're gonna go into another example, and that is this, these examples are from ChatGPT. Like I said, you guys are probably tired of my examples. And this is the moral crusader. So let's say that Tom often criticizes people for being dishonest or immoral. Later, he realizes he's been lying to himself about his own mistakes. So who is actually dishonest or immoral? Tom is. So Tom's projecting that out, but yet he's been lying to himself. So his shadow, the shadow aspect of him is his own dishonesty that he has projected onto others instead of facing what's within. I'm telling you, projection is one of the best ways to uncover the things, the places that we are irritated, annoyed, judgy, upset with, um, emotionally triggered by. And I'm not talking trauma triggers. I'm not talking a PTS trigger. All right, you guys, I gotta turn off my notifications. My family group chat is going crazy, and I get the banner, so I'm just gonna have to keep an eye on the little circle that's um the chat here, so I can see if you guys chat me for any reason. Let me click out of that, click out of that. Okay. Yeah, I just kept getting banner after banner after banner. It's like, okay, you guys, you're all awake now, I see. All right, so we the lesson in this is for for Tom, who's criticizing people for being dishonest, is recognizing that this helps him grow more humble and self-aware. There's always a growth lesson embedded in the awareness of our projection. The awareness. So let's say I, gosh, I wish I could recall some of my projections from my youth. Um, not my youth, but you know, 15 years ago, I remember judging my stepsister about something, and I can't remember what it was. I remember sitting at the kitchen table in my mom's house, my stepsister was doing something. I remember just like shaking my head and judging her about something. And then this was all within my head. I said to myself, where do you have that, Kristen? And it was immediate. I was like, yep, that's right there. And it made me understand her. And not only made me understand me better, but it made me understand her better, which positioned me to be less judgmental and more compassionate, more understanding and more loving towards this behavior that she was exhibiting. So if the key here, if the goal here is on earth for us to return to love and to demonstrate love and to be love, then this is one of the ways that we can do that. And we do become softer people, we do become more gentle people, we become less combative, less argumentative, less righteous. So many beautiful things heal on the inside when we're just willing to look within and say to ourselves, is this me? Or what is this? So I also want to take a quick break to let you know that I did design the shadow workbook. This is Illuminating Your Shadow to Heal It. I don't remember my my subtitle of it, but it's a it's wonderful. And this, like I said, might be an introductory for you where you're just starting to jump into this work, or it could be just more shadow work that you want to embark on. It is a very beautiful, clean, easy to read and understand PDF. I love the images that I chose. It turned out really nicely. And you can download this for free by clicking my profile picture, going to my link tree, and clicking where it says my link tree, and then you'll see it's the very, very top box. When you click on that, that will take you to that part of my website. And if you're on your phone, you'll have to scroll down one because blind spot and breakthroughs is at the top. I didn't have the time to switch places for those two things. If you're listening on another platform, my link tree will be in the description. All right. Okay, you guys, just a little, just a little helpful thing. I don't do these things because I have to. I don't get paid to do these things. They literally arise in inspiration and they feel good. It's like, you know what I want to do for everybody else? I want to create this. And then I'll create something for you guys just to be helpful on your journey. So I hope that you take advantage of that free resource, download it for yourself, and you can either print it off or you can just keep a pad of paper and pen nearby. I am a person who did a lot of my these types of healing work. I did a lot of it in my head, believe it or not. And I think it's because I was so ready to take ownership and to be aware that it was very quick for me. But some of you may need to write. You might need to write it out. And there is something very important about writing because it slows down our brain and it allows us to access thoughts more clear, clearly, and cleanly and feelings and things like that. So, again, do with it what you will or how you will. You have to know what's right and true for you. Another example is the always polite person. So let's say Lily avoids sadness at all costs and force herself to stay upbeat. I'm sorry, the always positive person, not polite. I didn't have my glasses on. But she feels numb and disconnected inside. I know someone right now who's going through this, and um, I just was like, wow, this person's always happy, always positive, always funny. There's something going on here because I know, I just know these things. And it later came out that yes, this person is dipping into depression. And I know why, because of this thing. But here's what the shadow is her sadness, fear, and grief. They're feelings she suppresses in the name of positivity. So she's avoiding all other emotions in order to be perceived and to maintain the image of a always positive, happy person. So the lesson here is to let herself feel the negative emotions, which actually make her more authentic and more emotionally balanced. So, are we getting a really good feel about the shadow, you guys? Do you feel pretty complete with my explanation of all this? Or is there any questions that you have thus far? I would love to see through a show of emojis, anyone who has already begun to work with your shadow. Maybe you've worked with it, worked with it directly as the shadow, and you've looked up things and or been led that way through a coach or therapist, or maybe you're recognizing that the work you've been doing really is shadow work, like it was for me. Okay, we're getting a lot of claps from Amani. Okay, Lisa Dinga, Amani, Terolyn, Monica Cher. Okay, good. I'm glad this is making sense to everybody. Let me take a sip. It's it's pretty out there in the world. So I'm certain for the majority of you, this is not the first time that you're hearing of this. Maybe you've already done some work in this realm, but it's always great to talk about, always great to resurface it, bring it to top of mind. And we can actually train ourselves to look within at the shadows, at the projections. We can look within. So it's very common for me, the minute I'm feeling some way about someone, and it's just kind of a random judgment, it's very common for me to immediately go, where is this inside you, KB? Where is this? There's sometimes though that there are, let's say, because I want to be very blatantly clear about this, let's say somebody's being mentally or emotionally abusive to you, and you're feeling some kind of a way about it, and you're having emotions and judgments about it. That's that's that is your body responding to poor treatment and to abuse. Okay, that's different. Because some people might think, oh gosh, I got where am I abusive? Or where am I? Well, you could go within and ask that question, absolutely, but that doesn't necessarily mean you are, because you could be the kindest person and this person keeps coming at you with their crap. And then you're you've gotten to the place where you're resentful and you're judging them and you're upset with them, and then you're thinking, well, gosh, am I projecting this same thing inside of myself? And maybe you're not. Maybe it's just because you're the recipient of some uncool behavior. Does that make sense to everybody? Send up some emojis if it does. However, it's always serving to go within and to ask yourself, even in some of the most, you know, yucky situations that you have with people, is to ask yourself, do I possess this trait or feeling or behavior inside of myself? It's always serving to do that because remember, we're not here to keep tally and tabs on who's doing what. We're here to heal ourselves and to grow because this is a spiritual journey. And so staying in our lane and working on ourselves, even if somebody else is not working on themselves, you're still growing. You're still growing. And at some place, you may, let's say, in the event of an abusive or toxic partner, you may get to the place where you're like, you know what? I'm you've grown yourself and healed yourself so much that you can easily walk away or easily set boundaries with this person where before you couldn't. So don't think that you healing in the midst of a relationship that is not lovely, that it's for nothing. Because I promise you it's for something. All healing is for something, it's all important. All right, we're gonna bring up Robin and then we have Amani. Robin, welcome. Thank you for joining me. Joining us, I'm sorry.

Robin: 38:35

Hi there.

Kristen : 38:36

Hi there.

Robin: 38:36

Can you hear me okay?

Kristen : 38:38

Yes, you're loud and clear.

Robin: 38:40

All right. Um, I was just curious. So before I had joined um New Live, I had never heard the word shadow work ever. Okay. So it's been, you know, I hear you guys talk about it all the time, and it's just a matter of um trying to sort of, you know, what is it? So thank you for clarifying it today because you gave me you know you gave me an example, like this is your example. Like, was it really what's the underlying factor? Which is what I need. Um, I wasn't specifically sure, and I've been in like counseling on and off since like age seven and eight. So I was shocked like that I have not heard that term at all. Are you shocked? Because I was uh I'm not you said it's out there, you said it's out there, and it's yeah, it's different, you know, and I just I don't know.

Kristen : 39:40

I I'm in the in the I don't think it was it's uh it's very out there now, and I think social media has helped that. But I would say back when you were seven years old, how many years ago, you know, decades ago that was, it may not have been as pro prevalent. And also I've also learned that I've heard this from therapists herself, they're really there. Governed, they can only you know be in a certain realm, so maybe they're just not able to go there. I don't know.

Robin: 40:09

Is it um is there any other term that it might have been called? I mean, obviously I wouldn't have heard it at age seven and eight, but you know, when I was older, you know, I've been in and out and happened with you know different characters and stuff, but I just have never, you know, maybe they asked you, you know, what do you think's causing you to feel this way, or that sort of thing, but they've never like labeled it.

Kristen : 40:31

Yeah, they they may not have said we're going into the shadow, yeah. That could be.

Robin: 40:38

Because I don't know, for some reason, like when I hear you and Lois talk about it, I I feel like it's this, I mean, it is the deeper, darker stuff. That's why it's called the shadow, right?

Kristen : 40:48

Well, it's the hidden stuff, not deeper, darker. It's just hidden.

Robin: 40:52

Because that's why I've kind of steered away from it. Was like, well, have you done the shadow work? And I'm like, I don't want to go there. It's not no, it's not. I want to go there right now. I don't, you know, and maybe I've been there before. Sometimes it is dredged out, but so it's more just uh let me give you a very clean example, Robin.

Kristen : 41:12

Let's say you're you're looking at a friend and you're like, oh, she just loves to be the center of attention. Uh it drives me nuts how much she wants to be the center of attention. Boom. Look within. That's judging. Look within. Where do I love to be the center of attention? That's it. See how it's not see how it's not deep and dark and scary? It's just whole, it's just shining a light on the the cobwebs in the corner. That's all. Right. Yeah, that's it.

Robin: 41:38

I got you. Cobwebs. Okay, so it's not as deep as it's not as deep and dark, so it's not a bad idea to do the shadow work. I know Lois is gonna have something to tell me about it because she's gonna remind me of certain things. But no, I'm glad you're doing this, and I'm glad to actually listen and be able to have a sense of what that actually means. Because I I hear it all the time and I just I haven't really engaged. Or maybe you have. Maybe I have, maybe I have, I don't know.

Kristen : 42:07

You might have done you, you know. I think most of us have done a little shadow work without knowing it. Because it's even the times when somebody calls us something, and this is one of my how-tos, how to recognize, is if we get feedback from let's say the same feedback from five different people. Let's say five different people say, You are insecure. You are insecure. Let's say, let's say that happens, or you're jealous, or whatever. That's the first thing that popped in my head. And then we were like, okay, I've heard this from five people now. Is this true? Am I insecure? Am I jealous? Yeah, I am. You see, that's it. It's just it's just the recognizing of it, accepting it, and loving it. That's it. It's not a complicated gig.

Robin: 42:51

Okay, I've been in there.

Kristen: 42:55

Yeah.

Robin: 42:56

All right, I've been there trying to figure out, you know. So I I do have a lot of issues with jealousy. So my biggest thing is why the heck am I so jealous? You know, why, why am I, or even just recognizing.

Kristen: 43:10

Yeah.

Kristen : 43:10

There's parts of me that are jealous. I'm jealous of this. Why? What is this trying to tell me? Where do I think I'm not enough? Where do I think I'm running out of time? Where do I think others have more than I do? See what I'm saying? When you just explore it and dive deeper into it, then you can pull that place out and you can give it love. You can give it love. This is why self-love is the miracle cure. And what do I talk about when I say self-love? One of the self-love tenants is acceptance and compassion. So when we have acceptance for that thing, we are actually extending love to that part of us. We're accepting it, we're giving it love. Maybe it's a place that we need to forgive ourselves, whatever it might be for you, but that is actually extending love to that area, that that hidden part of ourselves that we deemed unacceptable for whatever reason. So if you think about like, let's say the aspect of jealousy, you know, if somebody in our life scoffed at jealousy or made fun of jealousy or made it sound like it was a really bad thing, then we might suppress jealous feelings inside of us because somewhere we got the message that jealousy is a negative thing. It's a bad thing. So I better not ever show it. I better not ever talk about it. I better not bring it up. And this is just an example, you guys, it could be anything. Or anger is a bad thing or whatever. Okay. So we just we uh unconsciously pick up that message and then the brain puts it into place. So this is why the brain science aspect of this healing journey is so incredibly important because the brain is so integral in what's happening here. Okay, that's why there's things like broken and all this. It's just it's not relevant because it's just the way we're wired. The the brain has wired us to protect ourselves and create defense mechanisms and whatever it was to get us through. And then it's showing up in the world later in adulthood as behaviors that aren't great. So then we look within and we start finding those pieces and parts. So think about it as just something that's in the shadow. Let's say you have a beach ball and one's sitting in the sun, and you've got one that's over here in the shadows, and you can't even see it. It's barely recognizable because it's in this dark, it's dark hidden space. That's all it is. This one I can see. This one I'm ignoring, I'm denying, I'm repressing, I'm suppressing because it's unacceptable. It means I'm not worthy, it means I'm not enough, it means I'm not lovable, whatever it might be. But when you go, wait a minute, and you shine a light, you're like, oh my gosh, there's a beach ball. It's really simple, guys. It's not complicated. And it's to me personally, I you may have a different experience, but it wasn't scary. It was liberating with all caps in 8,000 font. Liberating. I could not believe this. Is why I started to teach this stuff because I was just doing these things for myself in the what I later termed the College of Kristen. I didn't call it that at the time. I just vowed to remain single and celibate. I'm gonna work on myself, I'm gonna figure some stuff out. This was 2010, I think, 11, uh, 2010, 11, somewhere there. And I just decided this is what I was gonna do. And I was reading a lot and I just started to work with things. But then I felt amazing. Peace came. I stopped being so judgmental. I started to love people, accept people. I had less criticisms and critiques, I became more compassionate, I was more peaceful. And then I'm like, what is happening? Where did this come from? Because I had been Christian in that personality for so long that I didn't even know there was an opportunity to feel different in my own body. But my personality started to change as I started to do work on these things. So it was really fascinating. And then I thought, well, gosh, you know, did does anybody else know about this? And when I first started to talk about it, I really didn't think anybody else did. This is just the innocence of me. I thought I had uh stumbled upon something that was miraculous. And then that's when the world started showing me. That's when I read that Louise Hay also said that self-love is the miracle cure. That's when I started to learn other things. I was like, okay, this is not new news, which actually made me feel good because it wasn't something that I was quote unquote making up or theorizing. It's actually out in the world. And that made me happy. I was like, oh my God, I'm not the only one. So yeah. All right, we've got Amani coming on in. Here she is. I'm sure she has done some shadow work. Curious to hear from her. Welcome, Amani. Thank you, beautiful. How are you? Doing great, thank you. That is awesome.

Imani: 48:04

It's almost the weekend. It's Friday, Junior.

Kristen : 48:07

It sure is. It's coming up here.

Imani: 48:10

Oh, yes. Um I just I think you just need to get a chair, a comfy chair, and just stay in my closet. Just stay there. Just stay in there.

Kristen : 48:19

Will you give me water and food?

Imani: 48:22

Oh, yeah. Like, really, God, right now? Okay. So, yeah. So for me, one thing I learned with my therapist was I constantly said that people didn't want to be in my life, that everyone left. And she's like, Why do you feel it's so important to keep these people around when they don't want to be in your circle? And I was just like, Oh, I never thought of it that way. Because when you're in the forest with the trees, you think that everything is a mountain. There's no getting out of the situation, it's everybody else's fault. But shadow work and just any work regardless is we have to start looking inward and actually asking ourselves, what if anything was my role? Yes. That's it right there. We constantly want to blame everybody name for everything else, but what my pastor said, if you're pointing so many fingers at everyone else, there's still one pointing at you.

Kristen : 49:28

Shadow work is radical responsibility.

Imani: 49:30

Yes, it's radical ownership, and it's releasing unrealistic expectations, dude. Those unrealistic expectations was my downfall because I'd be like, well, why don't you like give like I do? Why don't you love like I do? Why don't you call like I do? Why, why, why? And no, that's just how that person's built up. We all are uniquely created. We have to understand that people are people, and really deciding and deciphering and having those crucial conversations of okay, what type of friend can you be? How available are you in in your life? Are you at capacity and be okay with the response? Even it's not what you thought you were gonna hear, but be okay with the response. And as I started doing the work, I had to stop looking at I'm abandoned all the time. I'm abandoned. The next person's gonna come, they're gonna abandon me just like the last person. And so I've already set myself up to fail. And I would catch myself saying to this person, everyone has left. I'm gonna I'm gonna burden you too much, you're gonna leave too. And I would get the sideways look like, really? I'm here, aren't I? Yeah, but I was so stuck in the cycle on the hamster wheel of no, this is the way it is, this is the way it is. But as I started the work, I had to understand well, the reason I did that is because I was abandoned. My mom couldn't be available because she hadn't dealt with this stuff herself. And so the environment, environment, and experience and example I had was be unavailable.

Kristen : 51:13

And I'm sure, and and let me tell me about this too, because when we are abandoned, we tend to abandon ourselves. So, in right, so in that that let's say we look at this through the eyes of the shadow work, it's like people abandon me. So the question could be, where do I abandon me? Or how have I abandoned me? Exactly.

Imani: 51:38

And for me, well, well, how I abandoned myself is I never let myself be me. Anytime a little bit of me would peek out behind the curtain and it would cause an uproar, I would put myself back behind the curtain and put me back on the shelf in in fear that I was no longer gonna be accepted. I was gonna be abandoned before what I'm about to say or what I'm about to do. And that is just perpetual fear that we sometimes place on ourselves without even realizing it. Yeah. We put ourselves in our own box that we've also put everybody else in a box too. And it's like release yourself. Release yourself.

Kristen : 52:18

And that's what shadow work does. Yeah, it's like oh, it's amazing.

Imani: 52:24

And like you said, as you do the work and you continue to peel the layers like an onion, you're gonna feel that weight that you wasn't supposed to carry in the first place lift off. And it's gonna be lighter, and it's gonna be lighter. And then the other part of it too is when the lesson comes back around, you you already know how to handle it. You can pass the lesson again. So just be open, flow with it, give yourself grace, give yourself permission because you are worthy to thrive every single day.

Kristen : 52:57

Because you are thank you, Amani. I mean, haven't yet followed Amani? Please give Amani a follow because she has her talk badge and she is giving talks, I think, two times a week. So definitely give Amani a follow. That was a great share. Thank you so much. So I'm going to read a couple messages. Let's see. Jennifer said, oh yes, and like and I like myself so much better since then. I think she's referring to doing the shadow work. Okay, I'm not sure. This is a medical thing, so I'm not going to say the person's name out loud. Through my three-year battle with vertigo equilibrium and balance, whatever I have going on there, I struggle with my husband and feeling very unloved. I add the vertigo issue because I think this has put a strain on our relationship, but the shadow work tells me I'm unloved because I'm not loving myself. That's it. Oh, I have tears in my eyes. Oh, you guys excite me. Oh my gosh. Um, and Paula said she'd never heard of the shadow either. Groovy Tuesday, guys. I'm glad. And thank you, Peter. I appreciate that. All right, you guys. So we're gonna flip into in the last 20 minutes ways to work with your shadow. Because I really want to demystify all this and make it um understandable and easy to implement. And like you see, that that last message that I read, this person just looked at it right there. She did it right in her head. Right in her head. So, yes, we can write these things out, but also just being aware throughout the day. And again, I created a free workbook called Shadow Work Workbook. And you can find it by clicking on my link tree in my profile here, by clicking on my profile picture, clicking where it says my link tree, it's at the very top of the link tree. And once you get to that page, scroll down just one because blind spots and breakthroughs is at the top. I didn't have time to switch all that. There's a lot of moving parts. And once I got into my website yesterday, I there was other things, messages that I was getting from the website. You need to do this and do that. And oh my gosh, I just spent away. I hadn't paid much attention to the website for a minute, so I had to go in and do some things, and I just ran out of time yesterday because we went to a Phoenix Suns game. I haven't gone to a Suns game since I don't know when. And I'm just gonna say they won. And it was beautiful. It was right, it was one of those down, they were behind for a little bit, and then we just pulled it out. It was super fun. I'm a little hoarse today. If you guys can hear, because I'm that person that can't go to a game like that and not cheer and scream and defense, you know, all that stuff. So ha ha ha. Oh, I felt sorry for the guy in front of me. Later I said, I'm sorry if I was yelling in your ear. He's like, No, no, it was okay. And every once in a while I saw him, you know, doing it too. So I think I was I was amping him up as well. All right, so we're gonna dive into ways to work with your shadow. So working with your shadow in essence is or in a healthy way, really means learning to see, accept, and integrate these hidden parts of ourself. That's it. See them, accept them, I add love them, and the hidden parts of yourself. This means to stop judging them, to stop fighting them, to stop making these parts of you wrong. All parts of you are lovable and they're creative equal. There might be some parts that are not doing well in the world, but that doesn't mean they deserve your judgment. Okay? They're all acceptable parts of you because you're human and you've had human experiences and you've suffered from things throughout your life. Some of us through some really horrific things. And let me tell you, things take root and we learn things along the way. We hide things. It does not mean that it makes you a bad person. Okay. So the first one is my favorite, which is to notice your judgments, which are which are usually projections of your shadow. Pay attention to the people or situations that make you overreact or get judgmental. Okay, ask yourself simple question what is this showing me about myself? That's it. In a nutshell, what is it showing me about myself? Where can I identify that same behavior within me? Now, at first, when you start to do this, there might be a little cringe factor, okay? Because remember, the ego doesn't want us to see things. It doesn't want us to recognize these aspects of ourselves because, oh my gosh, you know, this means there's something wrong with me. Perhaps I didn't have all that because I was meditating like crazy during that time. I'd call my nervous system and I'd done other work. So maybe when it came to the projection part, I was like, oh yeah, I'm that, oh yeah, I'm that. Okay. But if you should have a little oo moment where you're kind of cringing and you're, oh, oh God, I have that within me. If you are dealing with that type of thing, I want you to breathe into it. Just sit with the cringe and remind yourself this is for your healing and for your highest good and reclaiming your personal power, your wholeness, and your completeness. That it's only your little ego that's going, don't do it, don't do it. Ooh, that's unacceptable. That's gross. Ooh, ooh, ooh. That's only the ego because that's its job is to keep you small and stuck. So you guys hear me talk about this a lot. Just look at your ego and say, I know your job, your role, and your job is to protect me. And in this particular instance, it is not protecting me, it's hurting me. So I'm gonna go ahead and do this. I'm gonna go ahead and look at this piece. Just walk yourself through it, talk yourself through it. We are self-healing superstars, you all. Self-healing superstars, self-healing badasses. This means we have the capacity to heal ourselves. It's only our brain that gets in the way. It's only our mind, it's only the ego, these types of things that get in the way. So if you get that little bit of cringe, cringe and let go. Don't attach to the cringe, don't follow the cringe, don't think the cringe means that you're doing something wrong. You are bringing something to light. And this is where people might say, Oh, the healing journey is hard. You know, because it's really not, to me, it's not hard, it's not the word. It's different. We're learning to do things differently. The next thing we can do is to journal honestly. And this is why I brought up, or I'm sorry, I designed and created the Shadow Work Workbook for you guys is to dip you into this. And I really hope that you take advantage of it. This is not the end all be all work. This is not a book. I did not write the course on this, it's just a workbook. Like I said, if you haven't done this work before, it's just a little introduction into the work, it's not the end all be all. Or if you've already done some shadow work, then this is maybe just an extension of that. Or maybe as you're going through the workbook, you're like, wow, I've dealt with a lot of these things already, right? We never know. So go ahead and download that. But this is, it does have journaling prompts within it. So when we write, it helps us to bring the unconscious into awareness. So what we're unaware of, we become aware of. Just yesterday, I was watching a Dr. Joe Dispenza interview that I realized I had already seen. My daughter sent it to me. He was on diarrhea of the CEO on YouTube. And he was talking about that, something that Steven, the facilitator of that podcast, was sharing a personal story. And then he was like kind of judging himself a little bit. And Dr. Joe said, no, like you brought, you're you're conscious about this. And anytime, get this, you guys, makes me excited. I'm a total nerd. Anytime we bring it to consciousness, that means we're not running from the old program. I mean, I want to see, I want to see just the applause. I want to see the stadium erupt with that sentence. Anytime we bring something into consciousness, we are not running the old program. We are no longer unconscious. So that's why this type of work is so helpful because we're bringing things to consciousness. All right, I see a little mini eruption in the stadium here. Lisa, Peggy, Amani, Peter, Darylyn, right on, guys. Thank you. I know you know. So the key as we are doing this work is to not censor or judge what comes up. Okay? We just need to be honest with ourselves. That's it. Just honest with ourselves and ask ourselves questions all the time and be honest because you are uncovering, uncovering, uncovering, uncovering, uncovering. That's what moves the needle here. The next thing we can do is to talk to our shadow. Now, this this could be this might sound odd, and some people might be like, oh my gosh. Let me tell you something. I talk to my ego all the time. I will talk to those aspects of myself because they're me. And sometimes they need a talking to. And I don't mean that like finger in its face talking to. I mean they need a conversation. They need some airtime. They need to be seen. They need to be acknowledged. So talking to our shadow can be extremely helpful. You could do this as I did this awake with my eyes open, but you could also do this with your eyes closed and imagine meeting your shadow, the parts of you that you've rejected, ignored, denied, suppressed, hidden. Go into that place, and especially when you do discover part of yourself and talk to it and understand it. And give, I just call it giving it airtime. Because it's in the dark, giving it airtime is shining the light on it. Again, you're bringing what's unconscious into conscious. And when we move out of the unconscious, that means we are no longer running from the old program because now it's up here. It's in the prefrontal cortex. We are aware, which means now we have choices. And when certain things come up for us, that's going to come up because it's not hidden anymore. The next one is to practice radical self-acceptance, which I've talked about a lot here: self-acceptance, self-compassion, self-forgiveness, whatever it is that fits in with what you are uncovering about your shadow. Another awesome Debbie Ford quote is what you can't be with won't let you be. What you can't be with won't let you be. So when we stop judging parts of ourselves, they lose their power to control us. When we stop hiding those parts of ourselves, they lose the power to control us. That's why you hear so many people that are doing healing work have a really difficult time explaining it because it's such an expansive feeling. The best word would be liberating and freedom. Those are the best words for it. Peace, acceptance. Like it's really hard to pinpoint how this feels when you start to do this healing work. So liberating really would be the best word. You're just like, it's like the doors flew open and the grass is laid before you and the trees and the birds. It's like everything just feels different. I don't even think that encapsulates it. So just please know that on the other side of what we might deem as hard or scary is where the liberation and the freedom is. But this requires stepping into the unknown, doesn't it? It always does. Our best life is on the other side of our comfort zone. Our best life is on the other side of our comfort zone. So we're staying small and stuck, and we're afraid to stick our little foot outside of that comfort zone because, ooh, I don't know what's out there. But when you go into that arena, you're gonna see holy moly. And this often starts momentum in that direction where you just chug it along in this direction now. You're like more and more and more. This is why you hear Lois and I say all the time that we're we're we look at our projections, we look at our judgments, uh, we're grateful for triggers. Anytime I was triggered, I haven't been triggered like trauma triggered in a long time. I was triggered a while back, like I don't know, six months ago or something. And when that trigger came up for me, I was like, whoa, where did this come from? But I sat with it and I had the tools to deal with it. But I didn't know it was there. It was something that that particular stimulus wasn't in my life anymore. So it kind of just sort of embedded and went through life. And that that particular thing had not arisen for me in many years, probably 13 years, or maybe more, maybe 16 years, something like that. But anyway, when it came up for me, when it was touched, I was like, wow, okay, good. Thank you. Didn't know that this was still here. So this is what happens because we what I've noticed, and everybody I've asked who's gone through this type of work and consistently does it, I'll say, Do you get excited? Did you start to get excited on your healing journey? And they all say yes. They're like, Oh, yeah, more of this, please, because we feel so much better. So keep that in mind. You might have to have a little conversation with yourself to make yourself feel safe about this, and that's okay. I talk to myself all the time. So that was number four. And number five is to integrate, don't eliminate. And this is the idea that working with our shadow isn't about getting rid of, in quotes. We're not trying to get rid of anything, it's about finding their healthy expression. Let that sink in. This isn't about getting rid of anything. I gotta get rid of this part of me. I gotta kill this aspect of myself. Ah, no. It's about finding its healthy expression. For example, anger can become assertiveness. Let's see what else. Fear can just become caution and wisdom. Jealousy could be a call to love and accept yourself. It's not about deeming the thing wrong or bad or or anything else or trying to fix it. It's just what is it showing me? What is the lesson here? What do I need to be learning here? And you already know it. You already know it. I've coached for many, many, many years. And I will tell you that when I ask people these questions, they know. Okay, the first their ego might fight it a little bit. And sometimes they'll say, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. And I can tell because they're in, you know, their nervous system is heightened. So I help them regulate. We get regulated first, and it's like almost immediate when I ask the question, boom, the answer's right there. We already know you guys. We just got to be willing to admit these things to ourselves and not judge them so harshly and thinking, oh, I'm I'm all of these bad things. No, you're not. The next one is compassion. Okay, this is really super important because when we catch that part of our shadow, we're recognizing something about ourselves. What if you just said, I see you, and you're part of me, and I love you and I accept you. That's it. You're just a part of me, and I'm amazing, and I'm fully worthy of love, and I know that I need to accept this part of you so that I can return to my completeness and wholeness. That's it. It's fascinating what happens to our confidence, it rises and our self-doubt diminishes, it starts to decrease when we even own the shadow side. I know all of this seems so paradoxical. I told my daughter I need to write a book on the paradoxes of the healing journey because there's so many. It's like, what do you mean I get more confident? And my self-doubt starts to decrease. Because there's part of us that we've been denying, those scary parts over there in the corner, they're still running the show. There's still a filter through which we're seeing life through. So when we start to own them, recognize them, bring them to the light, give them love, there's a part of us, take the fractured piece that I talk about all the time. We have put those fractured pieces back together. We become more whole. Sarah just said, funny, I spent so many years scared of my shadow. Thanks for the workbook. You're welcome, Sarah. Yeah, a lot of us can be. I mean, that's normal because the brain is telling us to be, the ego is telling us to be. So we're just listening to it. That's why these types of conversations are so important because we gain different perspectives. Like, oh, like Robin was saying, I had no idea what this was. I thought it was, it was really the deep and scary stuff. And nope, it's not. It's not the deep, scary stuff. All right, the next one is to seek support if needed. I always recommend this. Always recommend to seek support if needed. You could seek it from a coach, a mentor, a therapist, a group, whatever it is that you need, whatever rings your bell, whatever, I mean your your resonance bell within you, whatever makes you go, hmm, that sounds good, that feels right to me, or I know what I need to do, or gosh, if I could just talk to that person. Whatever fits for you, but if you need it. However, with the disclaimer, this person has to be well versed in shadow work. They must understand the workings of the shadow and how to integrate it, how to heal it, and what to do with it when it is discovered. Because if they're not, you may not get the help that you were looking for. That's all I mean. I've never dealt with this, but maybe it could work against you. I don't know. But just throwing it out there. But the key always, I believe, on this healing journey is to find somebody who has gone before you and prevailed and or knows the system like the back of their hand. Okay, when you get with someone like that, they know how to lead you, how to guide you. And there's no question that they can't answer. So please keep that in mind. Get the help if you need it. You can try it on your own first, see what it's all about. You can try by downloading the free shadow work guide that our shadow workbook I talked about by clicking on my picture here and going to where it says my link tree, and you can download that for free. I know I've mentioned it five or six times in here, and that is because people come and go out of these talks, and I want to be sure that everybody has the opportunity real time while we're listening and communing together right now. Also, only to my Noom Vibers, I offer a 40% off discount code on all coaching sessions. There's no expiration to this right now. So anytime you purchase a single session with me and you use the discount code VIBERSROC, V-I-B-E-R-S, R-O-C-K, anytime you use the discount code VIBERSROC, then you will get 40% off of sessions with me. So feel free to utilize that if your inner resonance bell is ringing within that you would like to work with me. If not, that's okay too. I just do that because I love and appreciate this community so much. And you guys are really here on the daily, on the regular, doing the work and listening and integrating. And I'm super proud of you. And I feel very blessed and honored every single day to hang out with you. So thank you so much for being part of my life. Hey Judith, I'd love to see the new faces and names that uh come up here. So that's it for today, everyone. I hope you got a lot out of this talk. Download that free workbook to help you start get started with or to further advance your shadow work healing journey. I appreciate everybody who came up today. Let me see if I wrote down the names. I did. Monica, Robin, and Amani. Thank you for joining me and making this talk so robust and full bodied. I appreciate you guys. I love you. Have an amazing day, and I'll see you again tomorrow.