What to Expect On Your Personal Growth Journey

Personal growth isn’t a straight line nor is there a "proper" way to do it or when to start. Our individual growth story is just that... ours. It’s messy, surprising, and sometimes uncomfortable — but it’s also the most rewarding journey you’ll ever take. In this video, I share what your personal growth story may look like: the setbacks, the pushback, and the breakthroughs that lead you back to your truest self. It's personal and it's yours. This talk will give you much needed perspective about where you are, how it's "supposed" to look, and the encouragement to keep going.
 
For FREE Resources, Book Link, KB's Self-Love Merch Shop, 1:1 Mentoring, Noom Vibe Link and more: https://www.linktr.ee/kristenbrownauthor

Transcript

Kristen 0:00

Hello, hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Empower Hour with KB. I am your host for the next 75 minutes. My name is Kristen Brown, and I'm an author, speaker, intuitive healer, and life coach who specializes in helping individuals reclaim their true worth and embrace their personal power, all to master their energetic vibration and manifest the life and relationships of their dreams. So the first step here is to start anywhere because only you know what's best for you. And also because growth doesn't have to be a single entry point. It's not like we all go, okay, let's find the perfect door, the perfect window to go through. This is what we need to do. It's not like that. This is just a start anywhere kind of thing because your soul already knows. You know what you need to do, you know what you need to work on. It's about asking yourself that question, what do I already know to be true? And then being willing to work towards that and finding resources and coaches and noom vibe. Let's say if it's your food department, even your mental health and personal growth department, noom vibe. Find the resources that can help you along your journey, but then of course being willing to do the things because that's when it happens. The growth happens when we're actually willing to do the things. For some people, the growth journey starts with a wake-up call or a painful relationship or a health scare. And for others, it can be more subtle. It can just be like a little quiet inner nudge that's saying, There's more for me. There's more out there. This can't be all there is. Remember, your story is uniquely yours, and wherever you begin is the right place. So give yourself permission to put you first, maybe for the first time in your life, and to start working on things that are uniquely going to benefit you. Welcome, Cream. Thanks for coming up.

Karim 1:48

Hey, Kristen, thanks for having me. Man, you always have the most amazing titles here. They get me every time I scroll through, I'm like, oh, that's a good one. And um, everyone that's here knows Kristen, so I don't think I need to, you know, espouse your amazingness. You're you always have such an incredible um way to capture the issue in a in a beautiful way. And I'm I'm so glad you've got the right kind of people following, you know, that listen to this. This is invaluable stuff. So thank you.

Kristen 2:13

I appreciate that.

Karim 2:14

Really great. So I thought I'd jump in a little earlier than normal. I tend to jump in at the midway, and I've kind of heard like 10 minutes. I'm like, I think I know the gist of what you talked about, so I'm glad I got the beginning of it this this time. So, what I love about what you just said is start anywhere because you probably remember from the good old days, and this is a lot of what my old talks were about. They were about startup, they were about building companies, going into the void and the abyss of trying to start something and not knowing which wave's up and getting out of that comfort zone, which is incredibly hard in the beginning. But then it starts to become an exhilarating process because while there's an uncomfortableness with it, it gets very exciting when you start to break through barriers that you thought you had that are not really there. And I think that that personal journey, and speaking for myself and many, many other people I've talked to, similar process. They they shy away from it forever. And if you remember this old podcast, no longer out, you know, it's out there somewhere, but I don't do it anymore.

Kristen 3:14

The introverted neutronoclast. Yes, exactly.

Karim 3:17

And the key phrase there was yeah, exactly. And it's so funny because it was introverted was the key word, right? Because I was like, all right, I want to change the world, but I'm terrified of like kind of going out there and putting myself out there. And it was this real dichotomy that I grappled with for a year, for years. And I had to figure out how to build this sort of persona, and that's become part of me. Remember in one of the talks, and it was one of it was in the talk you referenced, I talked about my kids laughing at me, and they we have this in family joke that dad's Batman, sometimes he's Bruce Wayne, sometimes he's Batman. Yes, and I built that persona, right? And it's not artificial. It I I kind of thought it was in the beginning, but it's another part of me, it's part of that personal growth. It's another side that I was able to embrace, and it's helped me drive through these harder periods in my life that I would not have done in uh Bruce Wayne mode. Right. So it's it's really interesting. So I like I like the way you've you've structured it, which is to say, look, I had when I first got back on Num Bob, which was like two, three months ago, I was I I hosted this like talk randomly, and someone joined, and I can't remember who it was, but um she kept saying, you know, I just I just it's not the right time to start. And it was just the constant reaffirming that not now, maybe later, and when this happens or when that happens. And it was one of these things where I said, Yeah, I get it, but let me ask you, what difference does that really make? Like when is there really the perfect time for anything? Any ever, really? I mean, yeah, you know, there's logical situations, you know, when you're in the middle of the road, don't stand there and come up with your business idea when cars are coming at you. But there are there are no really perfect times. And if there are, you're probably gonna breeze through them relaxing and not thinking much about what you could be doing. So you nailed it. No time like the present. It ties to your other conversation about now, you know, live in the present, which is the one I think you did last time I was on. So sorry, I'm a chatterbox today on this one, but you really you hit a couple really good uh points here, and hopefully those will facilitate the rest of the conversation with others.

Kristen 5:18

Well, green. Your your five minutes is for you. Your five minutes is for you. And I will tell you something, I love that you're talking about that because that waiting mode, I've seen people wait and wait and they just keep waiting. And then days and months and years and decades pass, and they're just waiting for that perfect thing, and there really is no time like the present.

Karim 5:38

Right, exactly. And I look back and I think to myself, now I'm really like kind of strict and like, man, I waited one extra month than I should have for that. When you know, 15 years ago, I would have waited an entire year kind of waiting for this like perfect conditions situation. So I've really recognized and proven it to myself that no, there is no ideal scenario, you know. Everyone that has families kind of knows this when it comes to like kids or getting married sometimes. You're like, well, you know, it kind of happened this way. And now here they are, these beautiful children, great wife. It's you wouldn't have you can't plan it. You can't. You think you can, but you can't.

Kristen 6:14

What if the perfect time is the inception of that inspiration?

Karim 6:20

Exactly.

Kristen 6:21

What if at the per the perfect time is right now because that idea came?

Karim 6:27

Awesome. Keep going. Love you.

Kristen 6:29

Love you too, Kareem. Thank you so much. And feel free to join again if you are if you can listen to the rest of the talk. If not, that's cool too. And everybody's busy. You guys are welcome to come and go. No one's holding you here. You're not hostage, I promise. Oh my gosh. Such a great share from Kareem. Thank you. I really, really appreciate that. And I'm gonna bring up another beloved of mine, my little sister Rachel. Welcome, Rachel. Thank you for coming. Wow.

Rachel 6:58

That title, I had to just sit there with it for a minute. Because between 40 and 50, if you would have told me at 40 that I would be more comfortable in my own skin a decade later, I would have laughed in your face.

Kristen 7:17

Mm-hmm.

Rachel 7:18

Now I celebrated at 40. I went to Disney World and was on Small World my birthday. So I did celebrate me. Wow, so fun. That's my that's my go-to ride. I seriously was still worried about everybody else. Even when I was like, oh, well, where do y'all want to eat? And who can come? And let's change the day and let's change the time. And so caught up in my people pleasing, and the ex-boyfriends, and all that, staying small, staying, keeping everybody else happy and fitting into my little where everybody thought Rachel belonged. Little thought. And then I had the year from well, Hades. And yes, Hades hand delivered that year. And then something has to change. And the first thing I started with was, oh, wait, me. Let's do this. And all my family on Noom Vibe can attest, I have risen from the ashes and taken flight, and I'm still having fun seeing where I can go.

Kristen 8:24

Yes.

Rachel 8:25

And I'm still self-discovering, and at 50, I well, almost 50, I've got a week. Still 49. Birthday coming up here. Happy early birthday. I've got a week from today, and I will celebrate every day. Rebecca and my mom have both been like, oh my gosh. And I'm like, I'm gonna do this. And they're like, here, I thought of an idea. Let's do this with you, too. I'm like, okay. It's been fun, like for years. I told my nieces and nephews I was 29 and they believed me. But I'm sure the older two girls knew I was not. The boys, and especially Jackson's, like, oh, you're 29. And he's like, oh, wait, you have to turn 30. You're it's your birthday. And I'm like, I don't want to admit it. But now I'm like, boy, the poor baby's mom, and I'm like, no, wait, I'm 49. Last year when I decided to admit my age and just celebrate every bit of me. And he's like, wait a minute. How are you that age? You were just 29. Were you are you kidding me? Like, no, no, baby, I was kidding you the first time. That's so cute. I have learned to embrace flaws and all. And realize that, you know, there are broken, well, okay, there are scarred pieces, and there are still cracks that had to be sealed back and healed up, and but that's the roadmap of my life. I wouldn't be who I am without all the bump out all the bumps and bruises. And I've embraced it. And I celebrate most of it. There are still a few pieces. It's kind of like, let's just leave that in the past. It doesn't need to come out in the light. It it's been let go, it's been buried. Bye-bye. But it did make me who I was. Letting go of the past is a biggie. It is, it really is. Last year, when my friend from middle school was talking about the bullies, we're just it was a weird reminiscing thing. And she was talking about like how we really bonded. We were both victims of those boys. And it made me just I was in this funk for the rest of like two days. I'm like, you know what? I just need to let go of those boys and forgive them and move on. Because why am I still holding on to this? They don't even remember my name.

Kristen 10:45

Yeah.

Rachel 10:46

And why should I remember theirs? Forgive them, let them go, and leave them in the dust. That's right. Because this little phoenix took off, and well, that's gone. Yes. Like I said, the title, I was just like, ooh, it's such a far away from 40. Not just time-wise, but growth-wise. It's kind of like I might can see it in the rear view.

Kristen 11:17

Oh, Rachel, thank you so much for coming up. I loved everything she said. I had my eyes closed while I was listening. Watching Rachel's journey has been absolute incredible and an honor. She was one of the first. Well, I think you came on probably one of my first one or two talks here on Doom Five back in the day. Maybe it was a little bit later. Maybe it was a couple months in. I don't remember when you joined. But wow, that was incredible. Yes. Thank you so much, Rachel. And it's a great segue into what she was saying, into my next point, which is the personal growth journey is not linear. It's just not linear, you guys. You can jump all over the place in this thing. I mean, oh my gosh. There will be setbacks. There will be setbacks. So the key is what are you going to do with those setbacks? Are you going to freak out? Are you going to say, oh my gosh, I thought I was healed from this, or this again, or whatever? Are you just going to say, hmm, this is what's next? I won't tell the whole story, but my daughter came over on Sunday and she was showing me videos that her dad had sent her of himself. And I said something, and it wasn't rude or mean. I just made like a little happy comment. And she sat there and she was like, Wow, gosh, mom, you're so right. And she started crying. And when they were leaving, I said, I gave her a hug and I said, I'm really proud of you for letting that energy out about your father. Because there's just some, you know, this is not happy energy that I'm talking about. And she goes, Yep, mom, one day at a time. It's just coming as it comes. I'm just letting it come. And I was like, Good, good. And that's what I mean by it's not linear. It's not like you have to sit on one subject the whole time and just like, you know, try to try to burn this subject out of your psyche or forgive it out of your psyche or whatever it might be. Sometimes it comes in layers. Sometimes it comes in verse. Sometimes it comes in, it doesn't come up for a month, and then all of a sudden it arises again. This is allowing for the process. This is understanding that it's not checking boxes. All right. That's checked off. Forgive my dad. That's checked off. Forgive. It doesn't look like that. The whole layered part of this journey was really interesting to me because there were things I did so much work, you guys. So much personal work. Some of you might know that I had vowed, I say vow because it was a vow, to remain single and celibate, quote unquote, for as long as it took. That's what I said to myself. I'm going to be single and celibate. And the reason why I threw in celibate is because I was used to just say, I'm going to be single. But I didn't want people to know, like, think that I was out there dabbling. I mean, I was completely boy free. Anybody that even could remotely turn my eye, mm-mm, because they were a distraction to me. My partners had always been a distraction for me because I was so focused on them rather than myself. And I knew that this time I needed to focus on myself. But, you know, I would work on something, I would heal something, and then be like, okay, that's cool. And then a little bit later, there was another layer to it. And I remember thinking, oh, there's layers to this. This isn't just a one-and-done situation because, like I said, I was doing this all myself and I didn't have any guidance. YouTube was, my gosh, it was probably a year old at that time. It wasn't what it is now. I spent my days, 30 years, in behind the chair in a salon. So I wasn't on a computer looking up things on Google. It just wasn't part of my wheelhouse. Books were my thing. I would just read and read and read and I'd meditate and do these things. I would just apply principles. And these principles worked. And sometimes things just went away completely. And sometimes a little bit later, there was another layer to the thing. And so I started to understand, oh, this isn't linear. There's another layer. And sometimes you think you're over something, and then you hear a song or you smell something in the air, and you're thrust back into that place and you're feeling the old familiar emotions, whether happy, sad, embarrassing, shameful, whatever it might be, emotions that accompany that, that's our opportunity. That's our opportunity to sit with that and give that part of ourselves love in whatever form that looks, whether it's forgiveness, whether it's compassion, whether it's acceptance, whether we're speaking gently to ourselves, maybe it's even a personal hug. Maybe we are just needing to give ourselves some comfort, a little cuddle real quickly, a little rub on the arm, whatever it might be. And just each time these things come up, meeting those things with love, that's how they eventually dissipate. Because a lot oftentimes people try to resist it. Ooh, I don't want to feel that. I want to talk about that. And I'm in the place now in my life where something comes up for me, like it did with my daughter on Sunday. It just came up in that moment. I did not expect that. I was cutting her husband's hair. And it just sort of came up. And I was really proud of her because she is, she historically had pushed away feelings, negative feelings regarding him because of whatever reason in her psyche. But now she's allowing for the flow. So that's what really the second point is about is that it's not linear. Some days you're gonna feel like you're unstoppable, and other days you might feel like you're right back where you started. But even those setbacks are part of this journey. It's so important to know that. They're opportunities to deepen your resilience, to practice self-love, like I mentioned, and to remember that growth is about progress, not about perfection. And I had a friend one day that hated the progress, not perfection phrase. She didn't like that. She was like, Well, what if you don't make progress? Well, now she is somebody who was a little bit in her story, she was a little bit stuck at the time, but it did give me food for thought. I thought about it. And she was saying, sometimes it's not about progress. I get what she was saying. I do. So there's there's two sides of this. It's like sometimes you may not be progressing. Maybe you're in a rest mode, maybe you're in a reconfiguring mode, maybe you have other things that you're dealing with. That's okay. The whole point is that it's not perfection. That's the whole point of all of this, is just to give yourself grace to be where you are at, working on the things that you are working on and taking well, with intentional effort, because I was saying taking your time to do so with the idea that you are making intentional effort, putting intentional effort towards the thing, but not making it like it's your job and that's all you can do ever, ever, ever, ever, and you can't do anything else. You know, I do say oftentimes here, because that might have confused some people, because they I say, love yourself like it's your job. Please understand the difference that I'm saying here. Yes, you we must be so incredibly intentional about the work we're doing, but this doesn't mean that we can't live our life in the process. I had a lot of life going on during my healing work. My mom had cancer, my stepdad was diagnosed with something, he had hearing problems, my father later was diagnosed with cancer, my kids were having all kinds of things going on. I had a lot going on during this time, and I just gave myself grace to flow. So allow yourself to flow through your journey. Yes, there'll be setbacks, but I once heard from a minister, this first time I ever heard it, I've heard it many times since then, that setbacks are only a setup for a comeback. Setbacks are only a setup for a comeback. I remember focusing on that and sitting with that and ruminating on that and pondering that and loving that. Yeah, you're right. It doesn't mean we're done. It doesn't mean we failed. A setback is only a setup for a comeback. It's really about failing forward. We've heard that term. First time I heard that was here on New Vibe from a talk somebody was giving. Failing forward means, okay, that didn't work. Because I don't even like the word failure, to be honest with you. I just think of things of not working. Okay, that didn't work. So let me figure out what will. What can I learn from this? What is coming up for me? What am I supposed to be learning? I ask myself that all the time. Keep in mind, you guys, we are a soul and we are connected to the quantum field. We are connected to God's source universe and infinite intelligence. We are connected. The answer is there. So when we ask ourselves these questions, the answer is available. What am I supposed to be learning right now? Am I supposed to be learning about boundaries? Am I supposed to be learning about slowing down? Am I supposed to be learning about choosing peace? Am I supposed to be learning about removing myself from toxic situations? Being stronger, taking care of myself better, protecting myself more, caring for myself better. These are just some ideas of things that you could be learning. But when we ask ourselves these questions and we mean it and we get quiet about it and we do it intentionally, the answer will arise. We already know. How many times has someone said to you, and this is not my favorite thing that people say, but you just need to blank. You just need to blank. And you've said I know. It's because you do know. Are you in the space to do it yet? Maybe not. Have you built the muscle around it to be able to do that yet? Maybe not. But you know. And that's the most important thing. There's been things that I knew I needed to do, but I had no idea how. Nor did I have the strength or the wherewithal or the wisdom or whatever it was that I needed. I just knew that's what I needed. But I worked towards it. And I started to notice that I was building internal personal growth muscles, that I was getting stronger in certain areas. Even though after the college of Kristen, I knew my self-worth. It was about a two-year period of time. I knew my self-worth. I knew who I was. I knew what I deserved for the first time in my life, meaning to be treated as kindly and respectfully and compassionately as I treated other people, because I was not getting that experience. Even though I knew that, we're now 15 years later. I have continued to evolve. I'm even way more grown, I guess, matured, I don't know what you want to call it, than I was then. And at that point, I thought I was done. I thought, I did this thing. Okay, cool. And I would go start going through life, and then other things would come up. And that's when I realized, hmm, I'm not done. That Kareem, wasn't that you? Who said? I think it was Kareem that might have said it, that the journey is the destination. I think that was you, Kareem. Maybe not. I think it was. I get too much information in a day, so I don't always remember everything. The journey is the destination. Okay, mind blowing. It absolutely is. And that is what I came to understand is that this is just a journey. That's what we're here for. Welcome, Kareem. Thanks for coming back.

Karim 22:22

You're absolutely right. That was um what I popped on in your last chat to talk about that. I put that as a mantra, a little tagline in some of my social media profiles. And oh, that's right. I did it kind of um thinking it was nice and witty and whatever. I was like, oh, it's kind of a clever statement. And then I really thought about it and it started to really resonate. And you know, you just said something, part of the reason I jumped on right before you said my name, which is interesting. You know, another thing that really is important, and and the other speaker said it, and that's really good that she did. You know, the teams I work with are guys that have been through a lot in most cases. They have in many cases, they've been in special operations things that are really sometimes horrific, and their journey is complicated. And and I feel for these guys and and women, they've been through a ton. And one of the things that I tell them a lot, and you're talking about this right now too, which is this metamorphosis and evolution, there's this misperception that growth is all about adding. I don't know why, but there's this human sort of angle a lot of times when it comes to work and all this, that it's always about adding and this. No, it's a lot of times it's this reduction and releasing and removing, you know, which sounds negative. It's not. It's incredibly liberating to release things and stop with the feeling there needs to be this forward, absolute forward-moving progress. Sometimes stillness is as good as that movement, which is a thing, right? And sometimes the most amazing progress that I'll make is when I stop and I surrender a bit because I'm bad at that. I don't do that well. I I tend to just there's this over-achieving kind of mentality that I have for a variety of reasons, tied to my dad and all that. And it's interesting because all these years later, after he's passed away, I'm now getting lessons learned from him. He's not here to teach them to me per se, in at least physical form, but now I'm getting them. And and it a lot of it is lessons about what he did that I know I that he he made those mistakes, so I wouldn't, especially with work, Kristen. And I'm starting to go, oh, you know what? I watched him toward the end where he really wanted to enjoy things and he just didn't have the capacity in the way that he would have liked. It wasn't perfect. Well, perfect's heavy word, but it he was not in a physically good place to enjoy what he deserved. I refuse to be like that. That's just I've learned so much from him in arrears, and I'm releasing a lot of the things that I felt like I had to live up to because of him, oddly enough. But his experience is now teaching me about what not to do. So it's really interesting because um we get really indoctrinated, and a lot of people that are maybe they mean well to exactly what you just said, but they don't help because they're too busy kind of espousing all these, you should do this and add this and put this in. And it's like, oh, now I feel like I've got a litany of things I've got to do to achieve it. They mean well, but maybe that's not the way to go. You know, this is what I love about your talks. They're very much, they're custom, right? It's very personal. It's it's exactly the term you put in your title. There's no one that really can understand exactly that path other than you at this point. And a lot of times recognizing that comes through a very quiet meditation. It's not always about this action that has to be taken. Um, and that's the misperception a lot of the guys that I work with have. They think they've got to do something to get out of the problem they're in. It's like, no, no, no, you just gotta do nothing sometimes. Yes and stop in a big way.

Kristen 25:55

That's an incredible addition. I agree with that completely. I also agree with the people mean well, that they they they really think they're helping. And that's fine. We love them for that, that it is rooted in love and they want to help, but man, there's nobody like us that to really know what we need. There's just no one like us.

Karim 26:15

You're right. I mean, there's some people that tend to just get it. They they have a better, to use a silly term, bedside matter than others about letting you kind of express your way and they endorse it, which is like what you do, what others do on this channel on this platform. But then there's others that, you know, again, I think they feel like they're, you know, my sister's classic. I love her dearly, but she's got this tough love mentality. And I'm like, her name's Michelle. And I'm like, Michelle, that works for some, but in other cases, you're really you're guilting people into certain things. It's putting them, it's regressing them in certain ways. And um, you know, she can't see it. She just sees it in a different way. And and um, so finding the right kind of mentors, people that you feel have the right fit for you is super important. I mean, this is exactly why.

Kristen 27:05

Yes, I agree. I agree, Kareem. Yes, absolutely. And I love the idea that she he that he was talking about guilting people. Well, let me tell you something. If you guilt people into doing something, they're not doing it organically and they're really not learning from it. They're doing it from a lower vibrational place, they're doing it to please you, they're doing it to maybe shut you up, they're doing it because they don't want the backlash, but it's not where they're at on their journey. And that's one of the things that my kids said I did very well with them is that I met them where they were at. I didn't try to make them into something that they weren't ready for yet. It's been really cool. It's been really amazing to watch them come into their own by just meeting them each step of the way. And they've each had their things, their big sticking points, those big stuck places that they were in. And as a mom, my God, what do I want to do? I want to, I want to reach in there, pick them up, put them on my lap, my six foot one son, you know, just I got you, baby. Here's what you, here's what we're gonna do. No. I have to let him figure it out. I have to let the two girls figure it out. Holding space for them, meeting them where they're at, if it required a boundary from me or something from me, that's fine too. Is giving them, God, what is the word I'm looking for? I'm not giving them power because that's not it, but giving them their own, Kareem, I'm sure would have a great word for this, their own agency to do what they need to do for them. Giving them agency, leading them to their own agency, saying, you already know, you know what's up. Here's the deal. Yes, did I impart words of wisdom or experience with them? Absolutely. But at the end of the day, I don't know where they're at. So I can't tell them what to do next. Only they know what to do next. So holding the space for them in a very strong way for them to find that, they do, and then they're willing to do the thing because it's in alignment with what they need right now. So guilting, manipulating, forcing, controlling doesn't do anything for anyone. I also like that Kareem said, this is a huge point. So I want to just expand on this for just a tad before I bring up my next guest, and that is that growth isn't always about adding. Oh huge, huge, huge point. Let me tell you something. Much of my College of Kristen, I was not adding anything. I was releasing, I was meditating, I was getting into zero spaces, I was getting into the not doing anything, the act, the absolute opposite of just being, but also releasing the past, uh, releasing or forgiving people, forgiving myself. All of that was a letting go. And I have to mention this because Daryl with the Dashes has given talks about this before. He calls it addition by subtraction. It's you're gaining more by removing. So it's not that we are need to continually add to us, which can seem very daunting for somebody who might just be wanting to start the healing journey. They're like, what do I got to add? I got to add all this stuff. Well, yeah, you might need to add stillness, you might need to add meditation. But let me tell you, in that zero space, oh gosh, that's what creates the best environment for us to grow, for us to access divine wisdom or our own inner wisdom, or our own soul, our own spirit. It's in that zero space. And to me, that's where the best guidance happens. That's where that's the stuff that I followed because it was speaking to me and saying, here's your next best step. Okay, cool. And then I would jump onto that thing. Awesome shares from everybody, Kareem and Rachel so far. Brilliant, you guys. I have Elizabeth. Elizabeth, I you're gonna have to remind me if this is your first time up or if you have been on my stage before. Because if you're your first time up. This is my first time. You have not? Yeah. Right on, Elizabeth, you're getting 300 vibes. Woo woo.

Speaker 1 31:24

Well, I think empowerment is different for everyone, right? So empowering myself to say no. Say no to that guilt, say no to not accepting myself, and saying yes to self-acceptance, saying yes, hey, maybe I want to pause 30 minutes. That's okay. Set it in my schedule and follow it. And for those 30 minutes, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm just gonna pause, I'm gonna listen to myself, and growth does not have to be constantly upward. Sometimes it can plateau, sometimes it needs to go down to go up because it's all learning. And my journey for empowerment has really been in all areas of my life to accept it as it is and pause and reevaluate, and sometimes that means like adjusting goals to where my values are now, because in growth I've always changed. So I guess to empower myself to change means having to say no to some things. Um, and that's very important. I think pausing is a another huge thing, and we're always kind of uh I think pressured through you know, society and thinking you gotta go, go, go. It's not a marathon. You know what I mean? Like it's that that's great for sprinting, but it's a journey. You're not gonna just constantly run on a journey, you gotta save your energy for those things that are important to you.

Kristen 33:14

You brought up giving other people the space. You know, the other day I saw a reel or a short or something that was talking about two of your most empowered most empowering words are your yeses and your no's. And I actually considered giving a talk on that. I forgot about it, and you brought it up, which is so divine and perfectly timed. Because right there, you guys, just focusing on what am I saying yes to and what am I saying no to, or what do I need to say yes to, what do I need to say no to? So it can go both ways because sometimes we're saying no to stuff that could serve us, and sometimes there's things that we need to say no to that aren't serving us, and vice versa, with the yeses. So I'm really happy that you brought that up in today's conversation, Elizabeth.

Elizabeth 33:56

And knowing, I guess I I call it spoons, kind of like a battery. You only got so many spoons. Where are you gonna put them? Knowing where to put them might be a like a growth, right? But being empowered to know, hey, I have this energy, this is where I want to put it is empowering.

Kristen 34:16

I often talk about our energy being finite. We just don't have endless amounts of it every day. And it's so serving to be intentional about where it is that we're gonna put that energy. And when I started focusing on that piece, man, my life just opened up in so many ways. I felt so much less heavy because I started to be more intentional about where I was going to put my energy.

Elizabeth 34:38

Gives us the freedom to be able to let go without that guilt. And with no guilt, that means no pressure, right? Because we're putting it on ourselves.

Kristen 34:49

Yeah.

Elizabeth 34:49

And it's kind of like we're leasing ourselves, right?

Kristen 34:53

That's a biggie, because I was a massive self-guilter. Huge self-guilter. People, people didn't really guilt me. I had a few people here and there, but it was me that was doing it to me. So I had to really pay attention to when I was feeling guilty about things and inquiring into that, getting really curious about it and saying, is this really a place that you need to feel guilt? And it really wasn't. It was a place that my people-pleasing areas of my life was driving. It was part of the old narrative, part of the old programming that was keeping me stuck in a place. So I love, man, great share, Elizabeth. Thank you so much.

Elizabeth 35:27

Thank you as well for having this talk and of course for having me up. I look forward to hearing more, of course.

Kristen 35:34

And well, thank you. Thank you. And I hope you come back again. Come back and visit us again, okay? Absolutely. Right on. Okay, you guys, that was Elizabeth. Elizabeth, you may have heard me say in the beginning, you will be getting 300 vibes for being the first time on my stage. It was great to hear from you. And that was spoken from a person who is actually doing the work. I can tell. She's doing the thing. She is doing the work. She's busting it out. Lots of self-reflection happening here, lots of wisdom being gained here. And but she said a word, you guys, that is so important. And that is learning. That's all we're doing is we're unlearning what's no longer serving us, and we're learning what will serve us. We are unbecoming what we had become, and we are becoming a different, upgraded, if you will, evolved version of ourselves. And if you think about evolution, think about planting a seed and how the seed might sit there for the longest time. We don't even see anything. And all of a sudden the dirt is just slightly lifted, and you're like, oh, there's someone under there. And we want to pull it up and we want to look at it, but it needs to be able to push through it. And then I think about this with the tree in my backyard because there was an area, I live in Arizona, and shade is amazing because we have like 800 days of sun. So I told my husband I want to, I want a tree over here. So we we like mesquite trees because they they have really beautiful canopies, really big, wide, beautiful canopies. And so we put one here and it was like, we just kept watering the thing, not even paying attention to it. And all of a sudden I looked at it. One day I said, look at this thing. It just evolved in this big, beautiful tree because we really were really weren't paying attention to it. We were just allowing it to grow and allowing it to do its thing. And that's the thing is that not to judge ourselves on this journey because that doesn't serve anybody. When we're judging ourselves and thinking we're supposed to be there or we're supposed to be like Bob or Trish, no, you're supposed to be exactly where you are at. That's it. There's nothing, there's no other way to look at that. Exactly where you are at is where you're supposed to be. And she talked about also, Elizabeth, accepting it as it is. Massive wisdom in that statement. I'm looking at a book right now on my shelf by Byron Cady called Loving What Is. That was a huge book on my journey. Loving what is, not arguing with reality, accepting that this is what is right now, not fighting against it. Because, like Byron Cady says, when we argue with reality, we lose, but only 100% of the time. That's a direct quote from Byron Cady. When we argue with reality, we lose, but only 100% of the time. This girl was suffering a lot throughout her life because I was arguing with reality. And when I started to accept, this is just what is. This is just what is right now. That's all it was. My husband and I had that conversation the other day, talking about problems that arise and things like this. And I don't know how it rolled into, but he says, Yeah, you're really, you just kind of roll. You just accept what I'm like, there's no reason to argue with what's happening. This morning we got up, I went downstairs to get ice, went to push the part that says cubed, because I was going to the gym, and everything was black on the refrigerator. And I said, Uh-oh, the refrigerator's off. So I opened it and it was cold. The freezer still felt cold, but there was some type of frozen, like a yogurt bar or something. I don't know whose it is. I, first time I saw it in there, but it was kind of soft. So I said, Oh, the refrigerator is off. Turned out it was um GFI plug. I'm not sure if I'm saying that right, but you know, that's what it ended up being. It was not the breaker. But I just sat there and waited. I was ready to go to the gym, rip roaring. I had an amazing workout, by the way. My energy was awesome. But I was just sitting there waiting for him to come downstairs to see if this was going to get fixed or if we needed to move all the goods from the inside of that refrigerator into the outside one. So I was just accepting that this is what is right now. We may have to move all the food. We may have to break out some coolers, whatever. But I could be like, gosh darn it, I wanted to go to the gym and this sucks, and I'm mad. And I could argue with reality, or I could be grateful that we even have a refrigerator that's going out, or it wasn't going out. It just tripped a GF. It's the way we look at things. Just in that moment of acceptance. Hmm, this is what we're doing now. This is what we're going to do now. There's so much peace in that. And I would much rather approach a problem or a struggle through the energy of peace than through the energy of anything else. Because I've done it all. I've run the gamut. I've done it all with all the emotions. And it was always a place of suffering. And that's not something I'm willing to do anymore. Here's the next one on your personal growth journey is ready for this one? This is a biggie. You're not responsible for how your growth journey makes others feel. Huge. This one blindsided me. This one walloped me right upside the head. Yes. Here I am, innocently learning to love myself, taking care of myself, feeling so good, feeling so light, feeling so airy, feeling so joyful, doing all the things, the 800-pound backpacks coming off of me, and then someone doesn't like it. What? It's one of the crazy paradoxes. It's like you think the world would love that. Somebody is really relating. Who is this? I'm gonna go into the listener's lounge. Lisa and Molly are really relating. Yeah, I you guys get it. Here I am. I'm feeling like on top of the world. I've never felt better. This is 15 years ago during my College of Christian stuff. Never felt better. I'm light, I'm airy, I'm dancing through the dandelions, I am present, and I'm also setting boundaries. And I'm also showing up differently, and I'm also going to bed earlier, and I'm also saying no. And next thing you know, I'm getting pushback. And that old familiar programming of guilt would start to creep in. But because I had done so much work, I knew that, okay, I'm feeling this. Maybe should I be doing something different? No. And I'm gonna share with you the first time my daughter's 31 now, my eldest, she's 31, but she was about 16, and she was a rough 16-year-old, let me tell you. She was she was hard. And it's a joke in the family. There you go. She was like, I was like, she called my son the golden child because this is before my youngest was born, or she was really super young, because he was easy. But he always he always touts that he learned from what not to do based on what she was doing. So anyway, he's not the golden child, he's just a different child. They're all my golden children. She was rough. It was tough. And I remember her wanting something from me one day, and I said no. I don't remember the exact situation, but I could tell you where we were standing. I know where we were standing in my mother's house between our two bedrooms. And I said, No, or I don't know whatever boundary it was. And she looked at me with the sass of all sass with a little squint in her eye, and she goes, You're changing. And she said it like, uh she said it just like that, you're changing. And do you know what came out of me organically? I didn't plan this, I didn't think about it, I wasn't trying to be sassy. I said it from my heart. I know. Isn't that amazing? That's what I said because that's what I felt. And she just kind of looked at me, and that was the end of it. She just sort of walked away. But I knew I was changing and I was starting to do things differently. And I was even my parenting was changing in a good way. In a good way for the for the highest good of all concerned. Okay, because later it's it's the things they're thanking me for now. But I remember that day thinking, wow, some people aren't gonna like this. They're not quote unquote happy for me. And here's why, you guys, because they're not in me. They don't know what goes on in my noggin, they don't know what went on in my heart, they don't know where I had dishonored and disrespected and hurt myself over and over again. They had no idea, so they're not seeing, hey, good for you, especially a 16-year-old whose brain isn't even fully formed. And we know our teenagers are all about them. So she wasn't looking at me. She was looking at what this meant for her. That she wasn't getting these continuous stream of yeses, that she was starting to get no's. I even set a boundary with her about shopping. I stopped shopping with her because of the way she would act, clothes shopping, things she would say to me. I was like, all right, done. I said, I'm not shopping with you anymore. I would have never done that. I would have felt guilty and bad and oh, just whatever, I would have said to myself. And these things started to show up. And it was amazing. It was amazing because they felt good. When I say they felt good, it was not like an instant gratification type good, like eating a donut or doing the thing that you want to do and worrying about the repercussions or the consequences of it later. I'm talking they felt good in my being. My being felt good. So I knew because I had such the contrast and the polarity of what it felt like not to do that, that I knew that this was right and to keep going. Keep going, Kristen. This is right. But there's gonna get there's gonna be pushback, guys. People aren't gonna like this new level of you because it can really unsettle someone who's super comfortable with the old version of you. They may resist it, they may question it, they may criticize it, they may try to lay on a guilt trip, they may try to talk you out of it. But here's what's most important is that their discomfort, their not willing to roll with this with you is theirs to work through, not yours to carry. It's just not yours. And this is where I'm all about radical responsibility. I like you own your stuff, guys. I own my stuff, own it. It's yours, own it. As shameful or embarrassing as it is, own it, own till the cows come home. It is the best thing that we can do for our relationships is take responsibility for our behaviors. It is the best thing, but it is absolutely the polarity of not serving us. If you're taking responsibility for what is not yours to own. I talk about this in my book in The Recovering People Pleaser. A spiritual guide to reclaim your true worth and attract the love you deserve. I talk about this. Own yours. Own, own, own, own, and don't own what isn't yours. My healing journey was very uncomfortable for a few people in my life. I remember one person who kept trying to tell me I was a certain person. There was no part of me that could even own a fraction of that because it simply wasn't true. And instead of just ignoring it or backing down or what have you, giving in just to keep the peace, I said, No, I'm I'm sorry, that's not me. Are you kidding? I know me so well now. I'm best friends with me. I am best friends. I know me inside and out. I'm my own child, I'm my own parent. And when someone throws something at me that's not true, I just can't pick it up. So of course you think, well, that's all one and done. No, people push because they're projecting them onto you. They're seeing you through a filter and they're calling it real, and you're over here going, What planet are you on? Don't you know me? I don't do that. And this is why it's so important to own your stuff. So when you are in the business of owning, owning, owning, owning, owning, when you don't, it's gonna matter. If you're not owning anything, and then they throw something else at you and you're still not owning that, it all just blends together into some big muddy pot. There's something incredibly powerful and balming. Balmy. When you do something and someone calls you on it and you did do it, and you say, My bad. I have seen the most remarkable things happen in relationships just by saying my bad, I apologize. Radical responsibility can diffuse the situation so fast. Elizabeth, thanks for coming back. Thank you for having me as well.

Elizabeth 48:53

Radical responsibility after radical self-acceptance, I think, is key because once you accept yourself, you're more willing to accept other people and know the difference between what is yours, like good or bad, right? And being okay with that versus what is others and what the difference between people pleasing and really sticking to your values is and being okay with people not liking you, and maybe being uncomfortable with the new changes because they're so used to the mentality that you had previously. Like for me, with losing weight, that was a thing. Like uh a lot of my old friends would be like, let's go to the buffet. I have to say no, I cannot do that. I just don't want to be over there, it's not a thing for me anymore. Oh, well, you know, you've changed, you know. I don't know if I like the person that you're becoming. Well, if they took the time to really get to know me outside of, for example, the buffet, then they would know what mentality I'm in and why it's so important for me to be able to say no. That didn't stop me from saying no. It hurt, it was uncomfortable for me to say no, but in the end, that's where my value, my value was at my own health, not at having a good time. Even adults that see unexpected behavior from you, and it makes them maybe feel uncomfortable with themselves, and project it onto you and make it about you when it's not actually about you at all.

Kristen 50:40

Yes. We talked about yeah, you were you were talking about how radical responsibility can come after self-acceptance, and I agree with that, and we can do it beforehand too, you guys, but also after self-forgiveness, when I forgave myself for all of the all the ways that I treated myself. And if I had done, I was mostly mean to me. I was really never mean to anybody else. So it was about my own self-forgiveness of me, and also learn to accept all those pieces and parts. Let me tell you something. When you truly give yourself that love, owning your stuff is like a breeze. It's when we don't accept those things that we're afraid to own our stuff because we take that as literature that we really are bad. So this is why all this work goes hand in hand together. Wouldn't you agree, Elizabeth?

Elizabeth 51:33

Absolutely. To practice kindness and compassion for yourself is probably the hardest thing for me. And that came before doing it for others for me. You know, I would just kind of leave. Like, oh, I don't feel comfortable here. I'm just gonna leave. Not really saying no, just leaving. And people would be like, oh, what's up? And I'd be like, Oh, I don't know, I just didn't want to do it, and not really being honest with myself about the reasons or looking for anything underlying that might be causing that discomfort.

Kristen 52:11

And where are you at on that journey now? How is that for you now?

Elizabeth 52:15

I'm comfortable with being uncomfortable some of the time, and allowing myself to say no and knowing the reason, not just ghosting.

Kristen 52:29

And that is a defense mechanism that some people do have in place. And you brought up another really great point is sometimes rather than saying anything at all, you just leave or run. You know, it's also called running. You just leave. I don't want to deal with this, I'm not gonna do this. So instead of tapping into what's really going on and speaking it out, which some of us can't do at certain points in our life, we take a path that feels easier, but then over time, you're like, you know what? I'm gonna stand up and start speaking my truth.

Elizabeth 52:58

Exactly. And when you're empowering yourself to speak the truth, sometimes that's uncomfortable, but that's okay.

Kristen 53:06

Yeah. It's gonna be uncomfortable in the beginning. We've talked about this before on talks about getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. That was something else that I learned about 15 years ago. It's just one of my awarenesses on my journey. I was like, wow, at first it was very uncomfortable, and then I just it it's uncomfortable became a status quo. It's like, you okay, well, this feels a little weird, but okay. You know, it just sort of became part of it. And then the uncomfortable stopped being uncomfortable. Now there is still moments of it. Don't get me wrong, I'm by far not perfect. I still do all kinds of things on my journey, but it was like, okay, this is gonna, this is feels weird, but I know I need to lean into this because this is the right path. So if I lean out of it, I'm not gonna gain the assets and the learning that I could gain by leaning in. So leaning into that discomfort is crucial on this journey. And you're gonna find this, like it's oh, it's fascinating. These journeys are so crazy. And this is why I love, love to hear people's stories. I love to hear people's stories. I heard someone the other day saying that they're like, oh, why do people talk about their like their origin story? And they were kind of dissing it. And my response to that was I was just listening to something. My response in my head was, are you kidding me? That's my favorite thing. That is so incredibly inspirational to me, knowing that somebody else did this and it was hard and some really hard stories. I just posted some, gosh, I just posted something on my story. It's a man who is one-legged, he's got his leg, his little stump, propped up in a crutch, and he's using, I don't know what he's digging. It might be coal, I don't know, but he's digging something, and like there's other workers around him. The statement was tell him your problems or something like that. I posted on my story on Instagram. That's kind of all I really do over on Instagram, is post on my story. But anyway, I was like, right, you know, it's just a matter of perspective. It's like, how are we gonna view these things? But one last thing before I bring up Miss Melissa is getting comfortable with people not liking you. All right. This is all under the umbrella of we're not responsible how we make other people feel. We're not responsible for it. And getting comfortable with people not liking you. I heard something once that basically made my ego very upset at first. And then once the ego calmed down, my higher self said, Oh my gosh, that's amazing. And that is a third of the people will like you, a third of the people won't care either way, they'll be ambivalent, and a third of the people won't like you. First, my ego was like, Oh no, your job is to make everybody like you. That was my ego. And once the ego calmed down, my higher self said, Oh, thank God. Two-thirds of the people aren't my people. That's so good to know. So I don't have to jump through hoops and do all these things trying to get these people to like me. They're either gonna like me or not. And I'm a public speaker. This is what I do. I'm on this platform freewheeling right now. Like, you know, I have an outline, but I'm just freewheeling. It's my personality through and through, save a few things that, you know, I'm not allowed to do on Noom Vibe, like curse. Okay. But it's my personality. And some people aren't gonna like it. Some people are gonna be like, oh, I can't stand that girl. And some people be like, I don't care, she's fine. And other people be like, I love Kristen. Not my job. Not my job to determine who does what. I need to be my authentic self. And that was a biggie for me because one of my reigning themes in my people-pleasing years was everybody has to like me. The thought, the idea of somebody not liking me was crushing to me. And they still, some people still didn't like me, no matter how much booty I kissed, no matter how much brown nosing, no matter how much yesing, no matter how much no boundaries, they still left my life or didn't like me for whatever reason. I realize this is beyond my control. And that's pretty cool. That was pretty cool. So allow that to sink in, brothers and sisters. It is beyond your control. Melissa, welcome up. Thank you for coming.

Melissa 57:36

Hello, my beautiful soul sister. Thank you for having me. I love uh this conversation, and there are a few things that you mentioned that I wanted to hit on. You were just talking about people not being your people. And um, you know, I'm really thankful that I'm not at the school that I was at last year because there were some people there that were definitely not my people. And I one day, and I remember telling you, like, I stood up for myself and how proud I was of myself for standing up for myself, and they didn't like it. And you know what? It led me to where I am now, and um I really love what you said about growth, it doesn't always mean adding because sometimes it could be subtracting or deleting or changing, you know, so it doesn't always have to be about adding. And I also wanted to touch on what you were saying about noticing changes. I recently took my daughter and her boyfriend out to eat before school started, and it was so wonderful. And I don't really even remember how we got on the topic, but I know my daughter had gone to the restroom, and her boyfriend and I were talking, and he was telling me about how he had mentioned to my daughter a couple of times about noticing changes in me. And the first time she wasn't talking to me, and I had sent her an email, and he said, you know, I don't know. I I kind of get the feeling like there's something different, like I think she's changed. And then I sent her another email, and um, I had actually gone through the pono pono um that Lois shared with us, and that was when they finally realized that I was coming from a different place and a place of love. And the fact that, you know, I had this ally that I didn't even realize because I didn't think he was my people. I wasn't so sure about that. But you know, to have you know somebody else, and now it's you know, not just you know, one or two people, but it's been very affirming for me to have the people that are my people really changing and supporting me on the journey.

Kristen 59:56

Yes. Oh my gosh, like. My, I think a lot of us have this experience as we get older, our social circle gets smaller.

Melissa 1:00:07

Oh yeah.

Kristen 1:00:08

But in that smallness is so much bleep and quality. I got I got stares. I got people that are like, what are you going through? I'm there. Let me fly you to my state. Come hang out with me. You know what I'm saying? I've got people that are up in that when I'm going through something now, where before where I had this quantity, I didn't have that.

Melissa 1:00:34

Yeah, it's nice. And um, even though I haven't found all of my people at my new school, I'm just gonna be all right until I do because you know I will eventually find the people that are my people, and I'll also figure out the people that aren't my people. But in the meantime, I'm okay with just being Melissa, which is I love it.

Kristen 1:00:55

And you're what only a month into the new school, right?

Melissa 1:00:58

Well, actually, yeah, it was the kids, not even that, it was the kids' first week back. So this is my second week, yeah. So only a couple of weeks in. But you know, you're talking about saying yes to things, and I actually uh said yes to this uh fitness class that one of the teachers is doing before school. At first I was like, hell no! I know you're not supposed to say that on your phone. Heck no. But then you know what? I was like, you know, I'm getting closer to my goal weight, and maybe it's time to do something different and try. So I started doing before school on Tuesdays and Thursdays this workout. And I'm like, you know, maybe it's not such a bad thing. I really can't stand weight of burpees, but you know, there are some other things that uh can benefit this body of mine as I'm on this journey and you know, learning the new Melissa and refining the old Melissa and just, you know, being me. So it can be great. And I just wanted to tell you that I was glad that I got to uh chime in today and I love you and I miss you, my sister.

Kristen 1:02:10

I love you too, Melissa. Thank you for coming in on your holiday day from school. Yeah, that's a cool thing too, is that um Alyssa was all in a lot of talks last summer. Not this one, the the first summer of New Vibe. And then school started. She's a teacher. So we didn't hear from her. Then we hear from her at Thanksgiving, then we're from her at Christmas, so it's always really nice when Melissa can pop in because she is an OG here on the app. And I love to see her her empowerment journey. And I love that you're like, you know what, Melissa or Kristen, I'm just a week or two into this right now, and I'm just gonna let it unfold. I'm not gonna try to be anything to anybody and just allow my people to present themselves. It's so fun. It's so fun, isn't it? It's just like nothing matters, just none of that matters. All right, you guys. Well, I'm gonna call it a day for today. We're at the top of our time. I do have some other key truths for personal growth that I want to share with you. So I think I'm gonna roll this into a part two tomorrow. It won't be the same topic about what we talked about today, but we're gonna go into some more key truths for personal growth because I think understanding these things in the forefront that they may come up is is important because, like I said, I was the pioneer out there with my machete braving my way through all this. I had no one to lead me. And I think it would be helpful to have these type of things, people share these type of things with us so that we're like, oh, okay, oh, that's what Kristen was saying. This can come up. Oh, all right. This is okay. This is normal, this is on path, rather than holy smokes, this is scary. I don't like this thing. I do want to jump into the messages real quick because I had, let me see who we had here. Terry. Okay, Terry said, Oh, yeah, this is when we're talking about how you might get pushback from people. He is quoting Albert Einstein as saying, great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. Albert Einstein, great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. That is 100% true. And then Miss Paula was saying that she used to call oh she said that she used to call her brother the golden child. He's my remaining brother, and he's one of the very best people I know. He's a golden adult. The older I get, the less I care what people think about me. Yes. Oh, that used to torment me. Yeah. It's really a work in progress for us to really drop that desire that the world needs to like us, that everybody needs to like us. And here's what's really cool about that, too. If you think about a third of the people in the world, there's eight billion people here now. A third is a is a couple billion. We're all pretty golden, put it that way. We're all pretty set. There's gonna be plenty of people that like us, but let's not force anybody who doesn't. You just don't drive. The energy doesn't click. All good, bye-bye. Have a good life. I love you. Sending you love. We don't need to fight against and argue with reality anymore. Let's just sink into I'm good, I'm golden, I'm awesome. And some people are gonna see that, and those are my people. Thank you guys so much for listening. Big shout out to Kareem for coming up twice, for Elizabeth for coming up twice, Melissa for coming up today, and Rachel. As always, you guys delivered. Love to hear from you guys. You make my day. I appreciate you. And I will be back again tomorrow for another episode of Empower Hour with KB. It will be at 9 45 Pacific time and 12 45 Eastern time p.m. Hopefully you guys can make it. If you have not yet followed me and you like what you're hearing here, feel free to click that follow button under my profile picture. And also, if you're enjoying Nune Vive, we would super appreciate it if you jumped over to the app store on your device, find Nume Vibe, and leave us a five-star rating and review. Talk about what you love about this app. It really, really matters to the developers and the powers that be to hear your feedback because they aim for future additions to the app based on those type of things. So feel free to jump over there. We would super appreciate it. And I don't believe you even have to use your real name. I think you can just type in your username if you don't want to have your real name up there. Alright, you guys, thank you for being here. I love you, I appreciate you, and I'll see you tomorrow. Bye.