The Chrysalis

In this episode, we enter Phase 2 of your journey—the chrysalis. The wake-up call was only the beginning. Now, the deeper transformation begins.

As you release your past self, you may feel caught between two versions of who you are—gaining clarity, heightened awareness, and a stronger connection to your inner guidance. This is the shedding phase, where you begin to let go of others’ energy, set boundaries, and rediscover your true self.

We’ll explore reflection, emotional sensitivity, and how to quiet external noise so you can align with your path.

Your journey is unique—trust it.

Peace, light, and love.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Hi, and welcome to Abandoning Cycles. My name is Tone and I am a holistic spiritual life coach. Whether this is your first time here and this is your first episode in this podcast, or you've been with this podcast through all the episodes, or even some of the episodes, welcome. There's a r it's a reason why you're here, right? Whether you're a light traveler, a healer, a conduit, soul searcher, or you're just looking for something and just haven't found it yet. Welcome. And I wish you the best on your journey. And I hope that this podcast helps you to find what you're looking for and get you back on the right path with relationships and finding yourself and who you are and protecting your own peace. If you made it this far in the podcast journey, then this is the part where we move forward to the next phase. So episodes one through ten was made mainly about like that that awakening, that wake-up call, right? So really acknowledging, you know, a lot of energy around you, the people around you, the being aware of any kind of like toxic cycles that are not good for you, that don't benefit you, right? And so basically the first episode of the podcast speaks for itself, you know, and kind of sets the the stage for like the rest of the episodes, you know, two through ten. But this next phase that we're stepping into, so phase two, is kind of like the wake-up call. I guess you can say it's like a second wake-up call because it speaks to more of what's happening in your soul, body, and a conscious mind, right? So when you are no longer stepping in between your past self and a new version of yourself, right? The universe, you know, spirit guides, your higher power takes over, you know, you start to feel different spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically. You're no longer in the fog, you're in a time and space of continuum that others can't even relate to because you have elevated yourself so much to a different level that is not the norm, right? You have told yourself that you will not move at the same frequency that others move, right? You have now gained an increased sense of clarity, you are more aware of yourself, your actions, and the actions of others. This is where we start to rebuild the light walker, the conduit, the light healer, the soul searcher, such as yourself, so that you can start recognizing who you are. And if you have never had the opportunity to discover who you are, because you have always been told by others who you are, then welcome. This is where the shedding begins. This is where we start anew. This episode is called the Chrysalis. Right? Why? It's because this is where we start shedding other people's energy that have ta attached itself to us and pushed your original energy away, pushed our original energy away, right? This is where we find what that original energy looks like, our pure energy, or energy that's not toxic, that's not tainted, right? Because it's not ours. This is where we find who we are, how who you are, and what life is speaking to you as it aligns to your journey. This is where you may feel like you're in between two realities, yet there is no push and pull, like you're stepping in between your past self and your future self, but it's kind of like just stagnant, like you just exist. Alright. During this beginning phase, you may have partially started this phase in the previous chapter, right? When you know, the episodes one through ten, when you begin protecting your peace by creating this exterior field around you, you know, not allowing others to control or manipulate you, that heightened sense of self and emotional awareness, where you start to see the games people play and the BS they produce so much more profoundly. Where you're really starting to be able to see people for who they are and their and the intentions that follow. You may even find yourself analyzing your actions after stepping back, cutting off people, creating space, whatever that looks like for you. Because remember, it looks different for everybody, it may be easier to cut off some people, but not as easier to come up cut off others, like uh family, right? Um family may be a little bit difficult, especially if you depend on them for support, or you know, they once depended on you emotionally, it may be a little bit difficult to just cut off. So you may have to maybe take some sta space, take a step back, or if you were in a relationship for like with somebody, a friendship with somebody for five or ten years, and you decide to take a step back, you know, and create space because it's might be a little bit more difficult to walk away. Then it might be like a grieving stage for you, right? For your soul, your mind, or your body. You know, whatever that looks like, whether you cut them off or you took space. And we know that there's five stages of grief, right? Grieving does not just have to connect to you know, somebody's passing. It can also be connected to just losing someone, right, in your life. Like somebody is just no longer there, right? That the way they used to, but doesn't mean that they don't exist anymore in the world. It's just that they're not in your space, your energy, your environment anymore the way that they used to be. So for example, once you start seeing people for who they really are, it's like stepping out of the fog and taking a moment to look from the outside inside inward. You can then see people's behaviors much clearer. You might even find yourself questioning how could you let yourself get pulled into someone else's webs, someone else's lies or toxic behaviors, which may have caused you to not recognize who you are anymore. Adapting or picking up somebody else's lifestyle, living in their shadow. And let's face it, it happens. These things happen to us because they provide something to the to us. That other person provides something that we feel like we need on an emotional level, on a soul level. And fill a certain gap or a void that makes us feel content, or we at least we think in that moment that it makes us feel content, it makes us feel whole. Right? And when we feel whole then we feel like this person is giving us so much more than what we can give ourselves. But then it's not necessarily the case. Right? You may also be highly sensitive during this time after you have taken space, like really genuinely taken space. I mean not going back and forth, no push and pull, you're just kind of you know, existing, getting used to this space of just learning what it's like to not have that person or these people in your space, right? So during this time, you may also feel highly sensitive, right, after cutting people out or or creating space moment momentarily while you work on yourself. So trying to determine during this time of reflection and contemplation if you are heavily emotional, heavily emotional, moderately emotional. The symptoms that you're really, really experiencing at this time, you're no since you're not talking to you know these people in this moment, right? And I'm not talking about the people that are still going back and forth and talking to those people still while you're still trying to figure out and still work on yourselves. No, these are people that I'm talking to the people who have made it very clear that they need the space and the time to work on themselves, and they decided to take a step back to give themselves the respect to at least do that, to work on themselves and creating the in inner peace while they find the path that they're meant to be on, while they find that path that's linked and created right with whatever that journey looks like for them. So you may contemplate on if you're sad, if you're feeling symptoms of sadness or depressive symptoms, or maybe you start to think, like, you know, how can I let this person do this to me? How can I be pulled into somebody's lies or manipulation or forms of control or their webs? You know, am I a codependent person? Or you know, is there something wrong with me? Right? Do I have some kind of disorder? I hear this so much. So, so much from so many people. I and people, you know, tend to want to put labels in any everything, you know. Am I a codependent person? Do I have some kind of disorder related to that? I have to say there's a difference between choosing to protect your peace, taking a step back, and not questioning your actions, you know, that deeply, where it's really related to self-diagnosing your mental and your mental health. Like, please don't put a label, you know, or diagnose everything to try and justify where why certain situations happen the way they did. We are not here to point blame or attack anyone's character. Remember, you are a light worker, you are a light healer, you are a light traveler, you are a conduit, you are a soul searcher in your own right, and we do not attack ourselves or anybody else because we are not trying to bring in that energy. That's not the energy that we want to bring. And so, you know, really taking out the blame so that we can really be able to process things properly without having to think that there's something wrong with us, right? And and not to minimize anybody's, you know, real, you know, thoughts or you know, um questioning of symptoms. Because if there is something wrong with you, you feel like something's wrong with you, please go to a professional, get a proper diagnosis, right? Go through the proper procedures to do so without searching online and self-diagnosing. And before we call somebody a narcissistic person, please know that behaviors do not develop overnight. When you start interacting or having a relationship with that person, whether it's a family member, friend, or a partner, okay, they didn't pick those behaviors up overnight. They are typically picked up from others, whether it's their parents, they observe their parents, friends growing up, or it was inherited, right, through their genes and th through genetics. Right? People are so quick to use that term narcissistic so loosely that you know we don't really take the time to step back and really analyze the behaviors that we introduced in the relationship and the behaviors that they introduced into the relationship and how that affected their relationship overall. What I mean by that, okay, is that let's say there's two people, uh, you know, we'll say they're they're partners, right? And one partner is coming to the relationship very hopeful, very open-minded, right? Doesn't have a mask on, really being genuine in the relationship, but there's certain behaviors that are showing that that person may not be aware of fully, but we're picked up, right? And then partner two comes into this relationship, and maybe they have a mask on, right? They want to put on a certain persona that gets that person to like them. These two individuals are introducing a whole new pattern, a whole new cycles in this newly formed relationship. So if you come in, you know, no boundaries, the other person comes in with boundaries, but they overstepped their boundaries to make the other person, the other partner feel comfortable. Now you're starting to see changing of behaviors, right? Maybe you're that caregiver, that caretaker, that people pleaser. I want to please because I want people to like me, because maybe when I was growing up, I didn't have a lot of a lot of friends. I was often rejected or abandoned, and then that starts to show in this newly formed relationship. I want to please this person because I want to make them happy. So then how is that person going to react to that? Right? They may think that this is your behavior and this is how you operate all the time, but over time there might be hidden resentment. So partner two might have hidden resentment being built up towards partner one because partner one is expecting for partner two to give them the same of as to what they're putting out, so that people placing tendencies, they're expecting it from partner one, but partner one is going, I have a little bit more boundaries, so and that's not who I am, so I'm not, therefore, I'm not gonna put it out. So then if you make me, if partner two is making partner one feel really special and going, oh my gosh, you know, this person is just everything. You're prioritizing that person. Partner two is prioritizing partner one, but partner one is not doing the same. Now there's there's resentment being built by partner two that is shown later in the relationship. Now, partner two, over time, as they're not getting the same type of energy, the same you know, affection and love. Now they're calling that person the partner one, the narcissist. You only care about yourself, you don't care about anybody else but yourself. But remember, partner two, you prioritized partner one to the fullest. It made them feel extra special. And partner one recognized that as I must be a a part a part person of importance in their life, but I necessarily don't do the same to not just partner two, but anybody because they have boundaries. And they let them that partner too know that those boundaries do exist, even if they overstep some boundaries that may be in one boundary that they do not overstep. I'm not going to overly prioritize you because there's other things in my life that are that come as a priority before you. You may be one of my priorities, but you're not my only priority. This is how a lot of these labels are introduced in relationships when we don't recognize our own boundaries and limitations and we don't set them in place. I hope that you look at certain situations as experiences, moments of reflection that took place in your life that you know we we learn what to not to take to the next relationship, you know, by interrupting the behaviors, learning more about you know, yourself, ourselves, and moving on. Sometimes we quickly get attached to others because we have shared things in common, or they have, you know, the other person may have good energy, or they make us feel safe, etc. You know, whatever the reason is of why you connected with that person, may find them highly attractive and think that they're, you know, that person for you. Right? Regardless of the reason of why you connected with that person so heavily or so quickly. We often don't set healthy boundaries from the beginning to protect our space, our peace. We often allow others to overstep our boundaries, or they get us to overstep our own boundaries, which is not healthy at all. But first, you have to recognize what your boundaries are. I'm not talking about red flags, I'm not talking about non-negotiables, I'm just talking about boundaries overall. What I mean by boundary, boundary, you know. I'm not gonna allow anybody to, you know, stop me from engaging in certain activities that increase my joy or my happiness. If anything, that person's gonna encourage you to do those things so that you can feel overall peace and bring that energy into the relationship. During the beginning phase, this chrysalis, right? Of a phase that we're we're starting, where we're protecting our own peace, our bubble, we're setting healthy boundaries with ourselves and with others. This is where we heavily reflect on the peace and protection we are looking to create to help align us with our paths so we can quiet out the noise to hear the messages that were meant for us from the universe, our spirit guide's life. If you can't hear, feel, sense the direction you should be moving towards, how do you know that you're moving in the right direction? How do you know you're going in that right path that was on that right path that was created for you? Often the the noise from other people can can significantly cancel out what we're meant to receive. Which is not not fair to us, right? Because if somebody cancels out their own noise, that's on them. If they feel uncomfortable with silence or uncomfortable feeling being alone, that's on them. And just like if we feel uncomfortable being alone, we are uncomfortable with with silence, awkward silence, or just you know, isolation, even though we're never really alone. We're never really alone. You can feel like that emotionally in a world full of people, but we're we're never really alone. Right? It's on us. We have to really question why we feel like we're alone, why we cannot handle being alone by ourselves, to really be with the person that we want to see, that better version of us. As we close out, remember that your transformation is aligned to your path and your your journey, and that everyone's journey is not going to look the same. You may find yourself being more silent while another person may be more observant. Listen to what life, the universe, your spiritual guides are telling you about what you need to do. If it's extremely difficult or stressful, then that path may not be meant for you. If you ever had a moment where you try to form a relationship with someone, or you try to, let's say, start something, and every single step that you took was met with resistance, was met with force, then I'm hoping that you take it as a sign that that was not meant for you. You were not meant to do that or engage with that person or connect with that person for some reason. And if you haven't done this before, of acknowledging when things are not meant for you, when the universe is speaking to you, when life is speaking to you, then I hope that moving forward you're able to acknowledge it, identify it, and do so. This is the time of a phase where you start really identifying the things that are not healthy healthy for you, the things that are blocking your path from you becoming a better version of yourself, from you becoming a better you. So that you can formulate better relationships, healthy relationships, not just with yourself, because it starts with you. Remember, people only treat you based on how you treat yourself and what you allow. People only treat you based on how you allow them to treat you. So with that being said, I wish you all of the best in your journey in this beginning phase, and congratulations if you were able to successfully take space from people that do not benefit you. Cut off people that don't benefit you, you know, in a healthy way. You felt like you made the right decisions. Congratulations. I wish you peace, light, and love. Until next time, take care.