Detaching from Toxic Comfort

Welcome to Abandoning Cycles. If you’re here, trust it’s not by chance—this message found you for a reason.

In this episode, we explore stagnant energy and the toxic patterns that keep you feeling stuck, even when they’ve become familiar. Through the “chrysalis” phase of transformation, you’re invited to step back, recognize what’s been blocking your growth, and question whether your sense of peace is real—or simply a version of yourself made smaller to accommodate others.

We reflect on how external energy, relationships, and past cycles can influence your path, and challenge you to reconnect with true inner peace. Are you living intentionally, or letting comfort and fear decide for you?

It’s time to release what no longer serves you and trust that growth, clarity, and aligned connections are waiting on the other side.

Peace, light, and love on your journey.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hi, and welcome to Abandoning Cycles. My name is Tone and I am a holistic and spiritual life coach. If you're here, it's not a coincidence. This episode found you for a reason. You may be a light healer, a light traveler, or a conduit, or an empath, or just someone seeking answers as you go about your journey in life. Whether this is your first episode or this entire time, welcome. I hope this resonates with you, and if it doesn't, pass it along. The type of energy that allows you to fixate on failed relationships, careers, and everything else that is not going right in your life due to being in a cycle of a pattern that is continuous. And as you stand in the middle of the cycle, you try to determine your exit plan or if it's safe to exit because you built comfort within this cycle, whether it was conscious or unconsciously, building this cycle of comfort. When was the last time you experienced true inner peace for twenty-four hours or more? Are you living intentionally? Or are your thoughts and emotions dictating your direction in life or along your path? And perhaps more importantly, are you maintaining peace or simply shrinking yourself to accommodate others? During this moment of silence within the deeper internal chrysalis phase, are you able to acknowledge the influence of external energy and how the people around you have either supported your growth or unknowingly pulled you deeper into stagnation? And let me give you an example, right, of you know, energy blockages from others that may create stagnation, right? Have you ever had someone in your life, right, that has seems like they have good intentions, they have really good vibes or energy? It seems like that, right? In the beginning, or you know, maybe you haven't been around them long enough until now, right? To really see just how they really operate, right? And you are this light healer, this conduit, this empath, this you know, life seeker who is really trying to put things in order and trying to figure out how to better operate, better maneuver in your life, and you really believe this person that's coming to your life really has good intentions, they're on the same level, right, as you, until you realize that they are not on the same level. So maybe you have a friend that you know says that they want to change things in their life, they no longer want to live in a toxic, they want to change their life for the better, they want to move things around, right? Um, you know, in their life to make their life just a little bit easier, right? They want to put forth the work and get things done. And we get so into that, right? That, you know, these words that are spoken, we truly want to give our support to others, right? But then what happens when it doesn't work, right? And not for not just for you in the relationship with them, but for them. What happens when everything that was spoken in the beginning doesn't come with the follow-through? There's no action behind it. I want to get a job, I want to be able to have this plan, I want to reach these goals, but there's no action behind it, right? But they're watching you maneuver, they're watching you move, they're watching you go through life and you know make these changes. So you hold of this mirror, or you rather become the mirror that they don't want to see because you show them a side of themselves, or reveal rather a side of themselves that they may not be proud of, the part that doesn't put forth that action, the part that doesn't follow through with those interviews or giving themselves inner peace because they're looking for you to give that to them. All right, so instead of you staying focused on your path, your journey, you get pulled into theirs, right? And their maybe unhappiness, their unhealthiness, toxic energy, because they failed to do the work properly to make the changes that they said they were gonna make in their life, right? When you first had that conversation with them, so then you have to decide like what do I do with the situation? And there's many different situations, right? Um, that can cause you know, energy block, or you need to get pulled into other people's, you know, cycles, you know, toxic cycles, but you know, we're just in this moment just focusing on like what happens really when we get into other people's situations where they feel like they have put themselves in a hole and then they can't get out. And no matter how many times you reach your hand in that hole to pull them out, right? They're not reaching for your hand to get that that help they need to get pulled out, they instead pull you into the hole with them, so now you're both stuck in trying to figure out how do we get out of this. Now it's a woman and not a them trying to get out of the hole that they've dug for themselves, right? Which can cause so much confusion in your own life and for you to be, you know, thrown off of your path that you were on, because now the focus is fixated on trying to help them, because by helping them, what do we say? It is helping us, it's not, it's not because if they don't want to help themselves, then what are we doing? But we discussed a lot of in the first kind of you know chapter part of this podcast, right? And now we're on, you know, moving you along to this transformation phase so that you can become the great individual that you were meant to be. So, so what if I told you that the people that you surround yourself with sometimes carry unhealthy energy that can affect your life and the way that you operate, right? What if I told you that people who carry toxic cycles can pull you into their cycle, which can affect the way that you you know follow through with your goals or not follow through or put your goals on hold, right? Well, that's if you allow others to pull you into their cycle or that hole, right? Now that you're in this chrysalis, um hopefully you've taken a step back from others that do not benefit you. Hopefully you've already done this part, you know, cut people out of your lives that don't belong, you know, really taking a step back and really you know, creating that space, you know. And during this time in this chrysalis, after you've taken place or cut people off, hopefully you can see the energy blockages in your life that you know have been caused by these external forces, external factors, you know, others, you know, the energy that has kept you stuck. You know, you may have gained clarity during this time to see the first layer of the root cause of what have been interfering with your progress in life. You may begin to recognize the layers of what's been blocking your progress and draining your peace, you know, have just allowed you to not really move the way that you would like to. This quiet but powerful force of stagnant energy, the kind that keeps you stuck in patterns that feel familiar even when they no longer serve you, and often repeated relationship patterns and unfulfilled paths can create comfort within toxicity and can disguise itself as safety. Alright. So as you, you know, may have gotten pulled into somebody else's cycle patterns that they may not even be familiar with or even understand. Right. They kind of just become a part of everyday life, like they become normalized in a way. Which we we all know is not healthy when a toxic pattern becomes normalized in your life. And then we just go along with it and just go, you know, maybe this is just the way things are supposed to be. It's not. It's it's really not. And as long as your inner life in external situations, it will remain in an unpredictable condition which can cause an increase anxiety and discomfort, right? So what so what I mean by that essentially is you know, as you get pulled into other people's, you know, cycles and patterns that they're stuck in for probably years or even decades, right? It increases a lot of mental, emotional, and physical systems that just start to tear down your your whole being, your whole wellness, everything that you have built in a healthy way, right? Or you're starting to build or starting to formulate gets torn down. Because when people don't recognize the toxicity that's in their life, or the chaos that may feel normalized for them, they pull others in, right? And then disrupts your life. Like as a as a and I'll give you another example on a on a spiritual level, right? More of a spiritual level. Let's say you are that conduit, but that empath, that light healer, that light traveler, right? And you do bring something special about you that really stands out, that people love. Typically the stuff that people cannot give themselves. Let's say it's inner peace. Let's say you're that person, and I know you all are out there. All of the amazing light healers, like travelers, empaths, conduits, spiritual connectors to the universe, whatever you want to call it. I know you're out there. The ones that really do bring peace, tranquility, clarity. You're like the light that draws the moths. People appreciate what you have to offer and can't pinpoint what you have that makes you so special. But they enjoy being around you. They enjoy your company. It is relaxing to their soul, not just their outer being.

unknown 13:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:34

So let's say you are that person that brings that inner peace. And that other person that's in your life brings chaos. Without really knowing it, right? They may not know that they have developed a kind of sense of comfort around chaos, it's our toxic situations, it's normalized for them. And they wonder, you know, when that chaos is really active, is really happening in front of them, you know, they feel some kind of emotional dysregulation. They're wondering why you don't feel the same. Why aren't you emotionally dysregulated? What what's going on? That you know, you don't feel like they do. Once again, that you know, you're not only the light holder or the light itself, you're the mirror. So what do they do? They want to tear down that mirror because they don't want to see that side of them that's undesirable, unhealthy. Because you are working so hard so diligently to put your life together that you don't need that. You know you don't need that, but sometimes we get pulled into it because we really want to help and support others, because we care about others, and sometimes, let's be real, and we put others and their needs before ourselves, and we don't make ourselves a priority. Making someone feel comfortable is accommodating to someone else's peace, which is not actually peace. What we're doing is lowering ourselves to accommodate someone else's comfort. Real peace does not require you to become, it does not come from managing others' reactions or sacrificing your truth. Growth asks you to release toxic comfort, even when it feels unfamiliar, and to trust that you are not alone in your transformation. There are others walking this path, people you will meet, recognize, and grow alongside. However, if you choose to live in someone else's discomfort, and it has become normalized for you, it's become comfortable for you, even though it is toxic, know that you are also or could also potentially be closing the doors of opportunities of what could exist for you, like finding people who are walking the same path or would like to walk the same path as you, people who are also going through a transformation process that will help them to grow, to be stronger, set healthier boundaries, and remove the toxic fog that has covered their life. As we close, consider what has been holding you back. Right? This is where we really get to reflect, which is something that you know we've been doing through all of this, yeah, all these episodes, right? But this one is is really serious because you know this one really encompasses that stagnation of you know feeling stuck. And I know at some point we've all felt stuck, right? Where we felt like we weren't really able to problem solve, right? The way that we want to, or it's something that's keeping us from just getting over that mountain or that hill, right? We don't and we can't pinpoint it, but there. So, yes, as we close out, once again consider what has been holding you back. Is it past relationships, lingering patterns, or misplaced priorities? Are you ready to detach from what no longer serves you and move forward with intention? Will you remain in the precarious state, or will you choose to detach from the toxic comfort? These are things that I hope that you will take the time to reflect on as we close out. I want to thank you for listening. I greatly you all for being here in this time and place, it is and was destined for you to be here from wherever you are listening from. And like always, I my amazing light healers, light travelers, conduits, empaths, universal seekers, peace, light, and love. Wishing you strength, much, much, much strength and clarity on your journey. Take care.