How to actually become an abundant and magnetic person

You don’t become abundant and magnetic by chasing it. You become it by changing who you are. In this episode, we break down why most people block their own abundance, the energy you’re actually operating from, and what it really takes to become someone who naturally attracts more.

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Transcript

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Hello everyone and welcome to the self-trials where we cut through all the fluff and get real about what it actually takes to build your dream life. Jumping straight into the stuff you don't want to hear but need to hear, I'm your host, Kaylin, and today we are talking about how to actually become an abundant and magnetic person. I feel like this is something that everybody wants, right? It's a very highly desirable trait and words, like they're very trendy. You see them on social media. It's like how to be abundant, how to get abundance, how to become more magnetic. So I thought we would really break it down today and really talk about how this can actually be tangible for you because it's actually much easier and a lot simpler to become an abundant magnetic person. And I think that first starts with separating these two terms. So you have abundance and you have magnetic or being a magnetic individual. It's like, what do these actually mean? So I want to read to you guys the actual definition of abundance versus the actual definition of being magnetic or magnetism or whatever, however you it is you want to word it. And so abundance is a state of inner fullness, worthiness, and sufficiency, while magnetism is the energetic frequency that draws attraction and receives opportunities based on that internal state. So what's really interesting about these two is that they actually go hand in hand. So I want you to think that abundance is your internal, and then your magnetism is the external result of having an abundance internal. And that's where people get them confused, is they think that abundance is all external, right? It's like, oh, I'm only abundant if I have a bunch of things, right? You associate it to having a lot of money, having a lot of friends, having like a really great relationship in love, but it's understanding that abundance actually comes from the inside. And I think when you can shift your mindset to that and understanding that you can be internally abundant, that is the most important thing that you can do is actually be at a state of abundance. And my mindset around abundance has changed significantly, even from being in Bali. And I know I talk about Bali a lot, but it's because this place has shifted the way I view the world tenfold. Like my life has completely shifted from like an identity state, from a physical state, from a spiritual, a mental mental state. It's just changed my perspective on so many things. And abundance is a huge part of that. And so I want to kind of talk about my experience and the shift that I've experienced being here because I think it can actually help you start to better understand what it actually means to be abundant. Because I always, I've talked about this before. Like I lived in LA for eight years. So what did that do? And especially because I moved to LA when I was 17. So a lot of those fundamental years of me growing up, me seeing the world, stepping into adulthood, was in was living in a city like LA where everything was fight or flight mode. It was you need to make a certain amount. If you want to be able to have certain things, if you want to be at a certain level of value, you need to have like get this kind of car and live in this kind of house and do all these things. And I don't think any of that is bad, right? Like I still want to Porsche. I love a good little materialistic moment. Like that is not bad, and that's not what I want to talk about today. But it's about understanding that that is not the only way to obtain abundance. And so when you live in a place like Los Angeles, abundance feels so much harder because it's so much harder to have access to all this stuff, right? It's hard to feel not just with the physical things, but also within having like an abundance of love or having an abundance of friends or community, because everything is honestly set up, so abundance is kind of difficult. And I think that also might have been the way in which I was viewing things, and it would be really interesting to see if I went back or when I go back to LA or when I go back to the States. I have no idea when that will be, but how all the experiences that I've had over here in Bali, how that is gonna end up shifting and changing the way I approach a city like LA or New York or any bigger location or bigger city. But when you live in LA, there's this element of going, okay, well, if I want to be abundant, I need to make a ton of money. So now you're in fight or flight mode. So that way you can get the massages whenever you want. You can go out to eat with your friends, and then in order to see your friends often, you have to also have money to do this. So it's always this constant thing where you put your abundance outside of you and you're constantly chasing abundance versus understanding that you can actually become abundant. And so then when I moved to Bali, everything in my brain switched because all of a sudden I had so much more access to things, so much easier, easierly. Easier, I don't know how I word that. So much, it just was so much so much easier to have access to things. So being able to order a very specific type of food whenever I want it, I could literally just get that delivered to me for a very low entry cost. Then, so you have all of these like items, like from a materialistic sense, that can make you feel abundant. Like the villa I'm living in is absolutely beautiful and it makes me feel very abundant and lucky and grateful. But the cost to have a villa like this compared to what it would cost to be in LA is significantly different. So now you're experiencing, yes, the external abundance that you probably wouldn't be able to get in a place like LA or even getting a massage here is only $15 compared to if I wanted to get a massage in LA, it was like $300, right? So all of a sudden I'm able to experience this external abundance. But on top of that, and more importantly, I'm also able to experience a ton of abundance that is within me and within friendships and all this different stuff because as I'm getting all these different things, I'm also feeling so much more gratitude within me. I'm also able to meet up with friends on a regular basis because we'll just do dinners last minute, because you're ordering food anyway. So abundance is everywhere here. And you, when you then have abundance in an external place, it makes it so much easier to feel internal abundance because you start to go, oh my God, I'm so grateful for everything that I have. Like I wake up and I'm even looking here, looking out at my view, and I'm like, oh my gosh, like I am so grateful that I get to live in such an abundant, magical, beautiful place. And so when you have even just a little bit of abundance and physical, tangible abundance, it makes it a lot easier to reach that internal state of abundance, right? But the beautiful thing about it is that you don't actually have to have the physical state first in order to feel internal abundance. So if you want to start feeling like an abundant person, you just have to start focusing on the good and the positive in your life. And so while that might start small, right? Everything starts small, it then gets the opportunity to get bigger. So you begin by just waking up, and maybe that's being like, oh my God, I'm so grateful that I get to have my own bed, that I get to have my own bedroom. It's like, like I feel so abundant that I have my whole own room and that I get to wake up and I get to go do this specific job that's surrounded by this, these types of people. So it's it's a mindset reframe to be able to put yourself into the state of recognizing your abundance that you currently have in your life. And and at the beginning, it may feel hard and may feel, and it might feel like, oh, well, the way you you want abundance in your life is to have all this money, to live in a villa and Bali, maybe. Like, like to you, that's what you're seeing abundance as right now, where you need to reframe it and go, no, no, no, I'm gonna see abundance in my current. Like, what is the abundance in my current life right now that I can focus on? Because what you focus on expands. And so when you start to notice all of the little things in your life that makes you abundant, maybe that's you have really supportive parents, like like you are so rich if you have supportive parents. And in the older I've gotten, I've realized like I did not grow up with a ton of money at all. But I the fact that I have parents that are as supportive as they are and just want to see me happy, I'm like, that's the richest any kid can actually get when it comes to parents, is to genuinely just have support. And then to also have parents that are still together that are happily married. And that's not to say people, of course, they still have their difficulties and their issues, you know, that they work through. We all do. But it's like, I am so rich when it comes to so many things in life, but it takes not looking at what everyone else has and looking at what I had and what I had before I stepped into more abundance to start to see more of it. So when you focus on all the little pieces of abundance, so much more of that will come into your life, which then moves into that element of magnetism and how you become a magnetic person. And on the flip side of all this, if you're like, well, I don't feel like an abundant person because I don't have X, Y, and Z, not only will that not create a more abundance internal state, it also just keeps you in the exact same place. And if anything, gives you more lack of. Because when you focus, like I said, what you focus on expands. So if you're focusing on you not having this, you not having that, you are only going to continue to get less of, and it's gonna put you into a state of lack and into a state of scarcity. So when you focus on, oh, well, I don't have this much money, all you start to see is how little money you have versus how much money you actually have. So all of it, and at the end of the day, everything is just a mindset shift, right? So if you want to start becoming an abundant person, you need to start telling yourself the story of you already being an abundant person. You are currently operating from a pre-existing identity that you don't have enough, that you don't have this, you don't have that. In order to actually bring physical abundance into your life, you have to change your internal state to being abundance. You have to start going, oh, but I do have this and I do have that, and how lucky and how grateful I am that I have these things. And when you start to operate from that place, you will get more physical, tangible, like evidence, you can look at it, more tangible abundance that's gonna give your brain the physical evidence that you are in fact an abundant person. So it starts with the identity shift, right? We talk about this so often. It starts with having the awareness that you need to shift your identity from being what you feel like is an ungrateful, unabundant person to being a very grateful, abundant person. And then in doing that, you will only get more and more of that, will which will reinforce your new identity. And then from an outsider's point of view, that looks like extreme magnetism, right? It's going, oh my God, this person just seems to get all this stuff being brought into their life, but what everyone else isn't seeing is all of the internal work that you're doing first and the identity shift that you had first. So so many people just think, oh, if I if I say this affirmation or I make this wish or I do this or I do that, then all of a sudden I'll get all these things or I put this work in. It's like the work you have to do is having that internal shift and just going, oh, I I am an I am abundant. And then from an outsider's point of view, they're gonna think you are so, you have such a magnetism or a magnetic energy to you. And the other thing too is when you are focused on abundance, all of a sudden you have this energy of, I don't care, because you're not coming from a place of desperation. You're going, I don't need anything. Like, like I I already have everything that I need. I already feel so abundant, I already feel so grateful. And when you show up that way, it sh it it creates this dynamic because everyone, I I don't know why this is, but us as humans, we love people who don't care. Like if you think about the most magnetic person in a room, when you walk in, it's the person who's just living their life, they're having the best time, and it's just because they feel so whole within themselves that they're able to act from such an authentic place. And I think the reason we we are so crave that so much is because we also wish so deeply to also be able to act that way and to act so authentically. So when you have an abundance internal, it also releases the pressure for you to need anything outside of yourself. So you're no longer showing up going, oh, I hope they like me. You're like, I actually don't care if they like me. You're like, I know that I like myself and that those that are meant to find me and those that are meant to be aligned to me will also like me. And then funny enough, more people like you when you don't care if you if they like you. And so it's just it's such an interesting concept that the second you release the need to need anything essentially, or to have to have something or or to be desired by people is the second you come become the most desirable. And on top of all that, I recently came to a new perspective shift that I think will help you as well. And it's looking at abundance from less of this energetic state. So we all know that abundance magnetism is very energy heavy, right? Like I just talked about how when you don't care, it gives off this very like careless energy, which makes more people drawn towards you, and it's all this push and pull and this back and forth. But there's also this element that abundance is honestly, it's it's not woo-woo-ey. Like people think it's this, oh, well, if I act a certain way and if I do these certain things, and if I say these manifestations, then it's all just gonna come to me. But at the end of the day, abundance is just a biological process and pattern. And a really great way that I think makes it easy to understand this concept is to think about think about it the same way you plant a seed and then you harvest like a garden or like how farmers have their big harvest. Whatever that kind of like looks like. But it's knowing, okay, when you have a goal, and so this is specifically thinking about abundance to achieving a specific goal, right? So we already talked about abundance just in an overarching way and how to be a more abundant person and how to feel abundance and how to attract these things towards you. But when you're thinking about an actual goal that you have, I want you to think about the goal that you have, it's the same way as when you go and plant a seed outside. When you go and plant a seed, not that we're all walking around and planting seeds, right? But when you go and plant a seed in the ground, it doesn't sprout immediately. In fact, nothing happens at all. You plant the seed there and you leave it there, and then you come back the next day and you water it a little bit. And it's still, there's nothing coming out of that ground, but you show up every single day and you water that seed. Why? Because you know that you watering that seed every single day in the consistency of you pouring water onto that seed will eventually lead to a sprout. And then once you see that sprout, you go, oh, that's so exciting, that's so fun. You continue to so water it. You continue to keep showing up until that plant, that food, whatever it is, continues to grow and grow and grow. And then all of a sudden you have the most beautiful flower or you have the most abundant harvest ever. But that didn't happen overnight, and it sure as hell did not happen from you just planting the seed and walking away. It happened from you showing up every single day. And so you have to look at your goals the exact same way. Abundance follows this pattern through everything in life. Like it is the same pattern that happens through everything that's going on in our world and anything that we are harvesting and creating is through this same biological process and pattern. And so you have to know that the same way you plant that seed in the ground, that is you going, okay, I'm planting the seed. I'm getting so specific on what it actually is that I want. So that planting the seed is you going, okay, this is the goal that I have for myself. This is the thing that I want to do. Now, if you walk away from that and go, okay, all done. Like I'm so abundant, like I don't need to do anything, like it's just gonna grow and it's gonna sprout. No, it's not. It's the same way that if you planted that seed in the ground and you didn't water it, guess what's gonna happen? Absolutely nothing. You are not going to see that seed become something beautiful because you stop showing up and you stop putting in effort. So abundance truly is just compounding effort and consistent effort over time. We hear people say this, and we hear this quote a lot, I think now, is that consistency feels like nothing is happening until everything changes. And that's really what happens in life, and what it and is what happens when you are planting a seed is all of a sudden that sprout comes out of nowhere, right? And that sprout gives you the excitement. So the same thing where with your goals, you're gonna show up and you're gonna water your goals every single day. You're gonna pour into yourself every single day, and nothing's gonna happen. And you're gonna go, okay, whoo, this is this is hard, this is challenging. Like this is anything actually working? Like, am I doing the right things? Do I need to be doing something else? It's like, no, you just need to keep showing up. And then all of a sudden you're gonna get that first initial sprout. And when you see that initial sprout, that's your motivation, your cue to go, oh, oh, this is working, this is happening. But that's not to mean, that doesn't mean you stop, that doesn't mean you're done. That means you keep going, right? And you keep going and you keep going until finally you're able to have this whole harvest. And that whole harvest is gonna feel like it happened at one time. All that abundance is gonna feel like it showed up at one time. But in reality, all of that abundance came from all of the work you had been doing and putting in consistently when no one could see. Because when that harvest happens, that's when everyone can see it. Even when that sprout comes, people might go, oh hey, that's cool. It kind of finally started working. But there's gonna be that period of time in what we talked about in the past videos when we were talking about change and how change can feel lonely, where people aren't gonna recognize it. You can't even see it, right? So you have to be so certain and so clear on your vision that you don't give up because you know that if you keep watering it, you will see that abundant harvest. And so that's pretty much everything that I wanted to talk about and cover for this topic. I think it gives you a little bit of a different insight into what abundance and magnetism actually is versus it being performative. Because I think so many times when people go, oh, I want to be a magnetic person or I want to be an abundant person, it becomes very performative. It becomes this like, okay, well, if I want to be magnetic, then I need to not care what people think and I need to play it cool and all this stuff. And it's like, that's not actually what it is. What it actually is is just being authentic. So until you can actually not care about being magnetic, that is when you actually will become magnetic. And I think we've seen that a lot, right? The second you stop caring about if this person likes you back, they all of a sudden really like you back. And you're like, oh, okay, what the heck? And you're like, I don't even, I don't even like you anymore. Or like the second you decide to stop caring about what it is you're posting on social media and just actually post what it is you want to post and you stop being so specific about it, all of a sudden you have posts that do really well. So it's just this element of release. Like I, when you think about magnetism, I want you to just think about release, release, release, release versus show, show, show, perform, perform, perform. And when you follow that, you will be the most abundant magnetic person there is. So that is everything for today's episode. I hope you guys liked it. If there's anything specifically you want to see or hear me talk about or give advice on, leave a comment down below or message me on our Instagram account. And I will see you guys next week with another episode. Bye.