You have to take risks if you want to be successful (why I left $20k months to start over)

Most people say they want a different life, but very few are willing to risk the life they already have to get it. In this episode, I break down the decision to leave behind $20k months, what I learned from starting over, and why growth often requires betting on yourself before you have any guarantees.

For more honest conversations, advice, and real life application, follow along on our socials @TheSelfTrials. If you're ready to go deeper and actually do the work, explore our courses and journals designed to guide you through your own Self Trials on our website.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello everyone and welcome back to the self-trials where we cut through all the fluff and get real about what it actually takes to build your dream life. Jumping straight into the stuff you don't want to hear but need to hear. I'm your host, Kaylin, and today we are talking all about taking risks, specifically diving into my own personal story and how I walked away from making $20,000 a month to basically completely start over and come to Bali. I've talked about this a little bit in the past, but I specifically wanted to bring this conversation of risks up and why I actually decide to make this decision and why I actually think that it's going to be something that benefits me long term, that then hopefully inspires you to also not be scared to take risks and start to see risks as something that's actually not as risky, but rather something necessary for you to actually reach the success that it is that you want. So before we dive more into like the mindset behind everything, I just want to tell you guys a little bit more about my story and why I actually decided to do that. So obviously, if you guys have been following me, I talk clearly even in all of these episodes and videos about how I moved to Bali, right? Like you all know I'm here. I've learned so much. I've shared all the things that I've learned through being in Bali. But how I actually got here, I think a lot of people would be like, okay, well, what do you do for a living, right? Like you have to be able to work remote to live here because obviously you can't work within Bali, like all these different things. And even a conversation while living here, everyone's always like, oh, what is it that you do here? And it's always really fascinating and interesting to hear what it is everyone is doing because everything that people do is so different than obviously the ordinary jobs that you hear. So I will say on that note, like there are a number of different ways to make remote work possible. So if that's something that you're interested in exploring, it's a thousand percent possible because I'm surrounded by people that are doing it all day long. And so for me, I to give you guys a little bit of a backstory, if you aren't already familiar, I was living in Los Angeles, I lived in LA for eight years, and so I had essentially built my entire life, like what this whole like episode course, trials, like the whole self-trial brand is built around how to create your dream life because I've done it before, right? Like I went from living in Kansas City, I moved out at 17, didn't really have a plan. At the time, I wanted to be an actor, right? And I was like, okay, I'm gonna move out to LA. Like, I just feel like I'm supposed to be there. I feel like this is what I need to do. I want to be an actor, I want to do all this different stuff. And then naturally, through that, obviously we grow and expand as humans, and I end up going, oh, I don't even like acting anymore. And that was a huge identity thing for me, where I had to be completely okay with diminishing that identity and walking away from that to then step into what it was I ultimately wanted to do, which was social media, starting to like post on TikTok, starting to post on Instagram. Then I was like, oh, I would love to have clients and do social media management and all this stuff. And a lot of that was also rooted from a place of being like, I just want to make more money, right? Like I was like, it'd be so fun to be in control of different things and make money. I didn't really have like a lot of purpose and drive behind it. Like my personal socials definitely did, but social media management, I was just like, oh, this is an opportunity for me to like be able to work remote and have the freedom to do whatever it is that I want whenever I wanted to do it, right? And I started to learn a lot of the behind the scenes of how to do all these different things and grow platforms and make viral videos and make hooks, which all are skills that have drastically helped me now, right? Like I truly believe that everything that we've done in our past is setting us up for success in the future as well. And it's slowly giving us all the tools that we need, even if at the moment we don't understand why something's happening. It always makes sense later down the road. And I've I've seen that play out a thousand times in my life. And so I did it. Like I had built my entire dream life. I like, I was starting to go from making $3,000 working for a social media influencer, helping them with these comedy skits. I didn't like what I was really doing. I it didn't make me like feel super good. I would sometimes have to go into the office, but like not a whole lot, which was still nice on the flexibility side. And then I also had a bunch of hormone issues and all of these things, right? And then I essentially started doing everything it was that I wanted. I healed my body naturally. I moved into my dream apartment. I had the floor-to-ceiling window apartment building, like the sky rise type situation. I dreamed of having that, right? I got in the relationship at the time. I was taking care of my health, I was starting to see my body change, like all of these things were happening. And I was like, holy crap, like this is everything I ever wanted. My socials were growing. I was making $20,000, sometimes more a month. And I was like, oh my God, this is amazing, right? And I remember like the first time I made my first $10,000, I was like, holy crap, like, oh my god, I've done it, I've made it. And then it just kept growing and expanding from there, which was cool and amazing to see. However, within that, I started to like be like, wait, I don't know that this is necessarily what I want, right? And I started to think more long term. And of course, with anything, there's pluses and minuses to everything that is that you're doing, right? And I started to realize like, these random brands that I'm making content for, I don't really like the brand itself. Or like I just like am not super passionate about it. And I was like, I don't really want to have to be in a position where I'm constantly having to make content for a bunch of brands that aren't even aligned to who I am just because I want to like maintain a certain lifestyle or be able to make a certain amount of money. And so I started to just like notice all these different things for myself. And in the past episodes, we talked about happiness, we talked about fulfillment, and this is where a lot of those learnings came from, right? Was going, wait, wait, wait, this isn't gonna make me happy and fulfilled long term. Like, this isn't the kind of work that lights me up, which was also making it really hard for me to show up in some ways. Like, even as simple as my job was, right? There would be times where I'm like, I don't want to film these like shitty videos basically for this company that like I literally don't care about at all. Like I love making content for my brands and I love working with other brands on my socials and getting to create campaigns that are very aligned. But I also hated being in a position where I felt like I was constantly tracking down money and invoices and and brands not paying you and dealing with legal stuff. And again, obviously there's always gonna be issues within something that you're doing. Like you problems don't ever go away, they just shift and change, right? And I these are things I've also learned. And the way I would navigate some of those other things would also be different. But these are all the things that kind of led me up to ultimately then I started doing my Lux Core, which is my whole fitness world of things. I sell currently online um fitness like programs and challenges. So there's six week Pilates X weightlifting challenges, but that didn't initially start that way. It started because I was like, oh, I want to build an in-person Pilates studio. I was like, this is the thing that I want to do, right? And then I got met with so much resistance, trying to like uh find investors, do all the business plans, like a lot of things that were like out of my comfort zone. And I think now I also understood like I wasn't ready to step into the identity of what it would actually take to bring that thing to life, right? And so, and I was like very attached to like the old identity of being like, oh, I don't have to work that much, and I get paid this amount to make these little videos or whatever. And so these are all things that I've learned and I can deep dive into different videos on that specifically. So then I took that Pilates studio and started to bring it more into like an online concept so I could initially just start to build traction and community to later show investors. And then I went through a breakup and then I got my personal training certification. So one thing led on top of another. I started the self-trials, which I was like, I want to bring the podcast back, I want to start making journals, and it got to a point of me going, what do I actually want to do with my life, right? Like it was like, I love all these things I'm starting to create, but I feel like I'm having a hard time actually being able to fully step into these things because of the identities that I held and also just like how expensive it is to live in LA, right? Where I was like, what if I went to Bali, which I've always felt called to do for a number of other reasons, right? And I kept getting signs to push me there and I felt like there were things outside of just like the career sense of why I needed to be there. But I was like, what if I just moved to Bali, dropped all my clients, and just scaled all this stuff? Because I was like, I'm not feeling fulfilled anyways. I feel like I'm in fight or flight all the time. Why don't I just try this? And so that's where people go, okay, well, how do I know that like this is the right decision, right? Like, how do I know that this risk is actually going to be the thing that I should do and that I'm not gonna completely regret it? And I'm like, I would always regret the things that I tried than the things that I never even tried. Like I could not live with myself knowing that I didn't give this opportunity like its full advantage. And I didn't take advantage of like being young, having online companies. Like I knew for myself that this was something I wanted to do, regardless of what the outcome was. And I knew, you know what? Like, I can always go back to LA. Like, that's what I think people forget a lot of times is when they're taking risks or do they're doing all this stuff, they only ever think about like what's the worst thing that could happen. But it's like also what's the best thing that could happen? Like this could also all work out. But when you are looking at the worst case scenario that could happen, it's like, what actually is the worst case scenario that happens? You just go back, right? Like you go back to where you were. Maybe you lose money, maybe you you go in debt for a little bit, maybe you have to file bankruptcy. Like that's getting really far, right? But it's like at the end of the day, it's actually not as bad as we think. Like the consequences aren't even that bad. And also, most of the time, we don't even end up getting to the consequences. We actually end up getting to all of the really amazing, great things. But it's allowing yourself to have the trust with yourself that you can actually bet on yourself. And a lot of that comes from just the experience, right? So it's like I already knew for myself. It was like, I've done this before. I've I've taken my life from nothing and turned it into something. So if I start over, I can use that exact same system and do it again. And it's like I can just use all of the methods that I use, all the things I've learned, I can learn even more to show up and create an even better life. Because the reality is, is like, if I want to, I knew is like if I want to start making $50,000, $100,000 a month, the systems that I have in place right now are not gonna be the thing that does that. So sometimes what that looks like is taking a few steps back so that way you can launch forward 10 times. Because realistically, you have to actually look at your situation, go, can I scale this? Like if you're talking about this, it's just related to money, right? But it's like you have to actually look at it, be like, this thing might not be scalable. And in order to get over here, you have to take some time back so you can build something else in order to get you there. And you have to allow your ego to be okay with that. Because I think a lot of times it's really hard, especially if you do identify so closely with how much money you make or the title of the thing that it is that you do, it can be really hard to all of a sudden go, oh, I'm not that thing anymore, technically, right? But then it's realizing that those external things don't actually give you value. But when you hold those external things so closely to you and are the things that give you value, it doesn't allow yourself to give yourself the freedom to actually strip away those things, walk away from those things so you can create all the new stuff. That's why so many people get stuck and then they hide in like the fear of being like, what if it doesn't work out? What if it doesn't do this? But really, like you're just scared of walking away from who you know yourself to be, right? And so I think when you can allow yourself to go, those things don't define me, right? Like everything that I've been up until this point is who I've been up until this point, but I can actually walk away from that trust that I am able to hold. I've already built my life once before. I can hold myself in this nothingness. It doesn't change my value, it doesn't change my words, but what it does is now invite in all of these new opportunities and I'm able to morph and create myself into whoever it is that I want because you walked away from all those things. So you first have to allow yourself to do that. And like I said, once you've done it once, well, now you can do it again and you can do it again and you can do it again, and you can continuously do it with more and more confidence. And also when you continue to do it again, that normally means that you're raising the bar, right, higher. So it's like then you have a larger capacity to go for more and go for more and go for more because you build up that trust with yourself. It's kind of like a similar way to look at it is when you're training in the gym, right? When you first get into fitness, you're only lifting maybe like a five-pound dumbbell, and everyone says, like, oh, it doesn't get easier, you just get stronger. But it really is so true because with fitness, it's like every single time I go to the gym, I'm like, wow, like this is hard, right? Like it's like you're training till failure, you're pushing yourself, you're sweating. That never changes. You're literally just getting stronger, your muscles are getting bigger, and you're lifting heavier weight. And so you can kind of think of that the same way with your goals. It's like every single time you want to start a new goal, you know the exact system it takes to get there. But since you've already done it and you already have the trust with yourself, you're building up more resilience and you're building up more strength to be able to go after even bigger and greater things over and over and over again. And so you just start accomplishing the most insane things. And from an outsider's point of view, you look at these people that are like have accomplished all this stuff, and it's like, oh my gosh, how do they do that? Like, I can never do that. The reality is they just took risks after risks after risks and they built that trust with themselves that they could keep showing up. And so they didn't immediately go from A to Z, right? They went from A to B, B to C, C to D, and they went all the way down the alphabet until you're now seeing this big finished uh product of whatever it is that they've created or whatever it is that they're doing with their life. So you have to also allow yourself to be that same way, right? Like you can't expect you to go from A to Z. You also are gonna go in those small steps, and that's also how you're gonna sustain it within your own body. And these are all things that we talk a lot more in depth in like the actual creation course, which is what I built. And I've never been so fulfilled by something in my life and knowing, oh yeah, this is the thing that I've that I was supposed to be doing, right? And I think that confirmation in itself is knowing how much happier I am with what I'm doing, also gives me the confidence in the decision that I made. And I think a lot of people struggle with like, yes, you have the element of risks and it being scary, right? And it's going, well, well, what if it's right? What if it's wrong? And it's like you're not gonna know until you do it, right? And I, the way I like to view things, whether it's a risk, a decision, those are both kind of the same thing, is that like it can't really be the wrong decision. It can't really be the wrong risk that you took or that it failed, right? Because in my eyes, I either win, it goes according to plan, or I learn from it, right? And whatever I learn from that, it's going to bring me into something new, which is ultimately going to get me exactly where it is I'm trying to go, or it's going to take me to an even better destination that I couldn't even conceptualize in my own head because it was too great for the current version of me to think about. So every time I need to make a decision, I think, okay, what would the future version of me do? Like, what would my highest self do? Like that is what you have to ask yourself. If you constantly are struggling with decision paralysis and you're not making any decisions, you're like, it's too risky, it's too this, it's too that. It's like you need to sit there and go, okay, I need to have a super clear vision of what it is that I want for my future. What is it that you want for your life? And then once you have that clear vision, it gives you so much more ability to just make decisions quickly and then knowing that if you make the wrong decision, you're just gonna learn from it. And like the most successful people, they make decisions, they take risks all the time, but they don't hold them closely to themselves. They don't beat themselves up over it. They go, okay, noted, learned. I'm gonna put that in my memory. I'm not gonna make the same mistake again, right? I'm gonna learn from it actually. And then I'm gonna bring that into the next thing so I can make now a better decision to get me further and further and further, which ultimately just gets them to their destination faster. So it's like the faster you fail, the faster you succeed. And I think when you can switch your mindset to that, your world will open up for you. Because if you never allow yourself to fail, you'll never allow yourself to actually take the risks that it takes to get where it is that you're trying to go. So let yourself fail. If you can actually say, like, my goal is to fail, right? Like if you chase failure, everyone says like what you chase runs away from you, right? So chase failure. Stop trying to chase success, chase failure, and that thing will run away from you. And you you don't you won't even care if you're failing because you're trying to invite it in, you're trying to get it, and ultimately you're just gonna end up being met with so much more success than you could ever imagine. So it's like as a challenge for yourself, literally sit down and write out like what are things that up until this point you have been too scared to do or try, or what are things that you are like scared you're gonna fail at, or what are risks that you're scared to take, write them down and be like, how can I actually start to apply these to my life and invite them in and know that whatever happens with the outcome, you're disattached from it. You're just gonna let it happen and you're gonna let yourself learn from each of those experiences. And the last thing I'll say here too is once you do start to take those risks, you will start to see the reward. Like risks, rewards only come with risks. Like you have to, have to, have to take the risks if you wanna see the rewards. Like if you want to, everyone talks about quantum jumping, timeline shifting, it's like then jump, right? Like you can't expect your life to change if you are not actively willing to take the jump, willing to make the sacrifices, willing to take the risks to get there, or you are going to be stuck in the exact same spot for the rest of your life. Like the action, the thoughts, they have to happen before you actually see the evidence of it. And then when you see the evidence, it gives you, again, bringing it back to the beginning of this video, the confidence to keep doing it over and over and over again. And I am finally starting to see all of the risks that I'm taking paying off. Like it has been a bit of a journey and it's been an up and down emotional roller coaster. Like I love my life. I'm so happy here. But I risked a lot and I had a lot of things changing and are still changing at a very rapid pace. And so it's been a lot for me mentally, physically, like my nervous system to actually keep up with. But since I've done this before, I understand the process that I'm going through, and I'm starting to see little bits of my new reality like come in and come in. And I'm like holding on to those for dear life, right? Every time you get like evidence from these risks paying off and you're seeing that new reality, you need to focus on those because what we focus on expands, right? So when you see that evidence and you you see that for your brain, you're gonna go, oh, there it is. Like this is possible, right? This isn't just like an image that I have in my mind, and that's gonna be the thing that pulls you over the finish line to actually get you the life that it is that you want. But the goal is to actually really stick with it and stay within it. That's how you actually get there. So that is everything for today's episode. I hope that gives you a little bit of inspiration and maybe excitement and motivation to go ahead and take the risks and not see risks as bad things. Like it's just another part of your story in it, and not just a part of your story, it's a necessary part of your story if you're trying to do something great and grand with your life. And even if it isn't great and grand, if you're just trying to make a change, risk will be involved, discomfort will be involved in it something that you have to embrace. And the sooner you do it, the sooner you will get all of the things it is that you are asking for. So, with all that being said, I will see you guys in next week's episode. If you have any video suggestions or topics that you want to see me talk about or you want advice on, feel free to comment them down below or shoot me a message on the self trials Instagram page. And I will see you guys in the next video. Bye.