Greg - 3 Signs You’re Not Stuck — You’re in a Middle Mile

Ever feel restless but can’t explain why?

In this episode, Greg reflects on Carrie’s conversation with Ammar Assad and explores the psychology behind identity shifts, endurance, and the quiet moments where life asks us to realign.

Learn why your brain resists change, how stress quietly drains your energy, and three simple steps to move forward with clarity and courage.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Welcome to Project U 2.2, the podcast where life and leadership meet endurance. I'm Greg Helmer, joined by my wife and partner in life and work, Carrie. Each week, we dive deep into the mindset, the neuroscience, and the real grit it takes to stop drifting through life and start living with clarity, confidence, and endurance. Because this is about real life, real struggles, and real growth. So lace up, it's time to live with endurance. This week, Carrie had a powerful, powerful conversation with Amar Asad, a husband, a father, a life coach, and someone who made a decision many people quietly feel, but very, very few actually act on it. Amar walked away from a predictable career path and stepped into something uncertain because he realized something many people sense but rarely say out loud. Amar realized he was living the life he thought he was supposed to live, not necessarily the life he was meant to live. And in that moment, that realization, it happens to people everywhere. It happens in our careers, happens in marriages, it happens in parenting, it happens in midlife. Sometimes there comes a moment when the script you've been following suddenly feels off. Not necessarily wrong, but no longer aligned. And when that moment happens, something powerful is taking place inside your brain. Because when people begin questioning an identity they've lived inside for years, sometimes perhaps decades, the brain interprets that as a threat. You see familiar patterns, they feel safe. Even when they are no longer serving us well, your brain is wired for certainty. Even if that certainty slowly disconnects you from the life you truly want to live. So when Amar described leaving the stable, wonderful paying career and stepping into something uncertain, what he was really describing was something deeper. An identity shift. And identity shifts are rarely clean. They're rarely comfortable. Let's be honest, they're messy. They bring doubt, they bring fear, and sometimes they even bring grief for the version of ourselves we are leaving behind. It really truly is a mourning, grieving process. Neuroscience helps explain the why. You see, when we release an identity, our brain resists it. Familiar patterns feel safe, even when they're outdated. Reinvention creates uncertainty. And uncertainty activates the brain's stress pathways. That's why becoming often feels uncomfortable. But that discomfort is often the signal that true growth, real growth, is happening. There's a moment in long endurance races that most people never see. I've experienced it in many, many races during my career. It doesn't happen at the starting line when everyone is excited and full of anticipation and full of energy. And it doesn't happen at the finish line when the crowd is cheering and you're kicking into the final stages of the race. You see it happens somewhere in the middle. And for runners, it's often around mile 20 in a marathon. That's when the body is tired, it's beat up. The excitement has faded, you're far from the crowd, and the finish line, it feels far, far away. I remember one marathon in particular where that moment hit me hard. My legs, they felt heavy. I felt like I had a bear on my back. My pace had slowed substantially. And there was a voice that started whispering something endurance athletes know very well. You've done enough. You can just stop, Greg. Walk off the course. No one would blame you. And you see that voice, it doesn't shout, it whispers. And here's the fascinating part from a neuroscience perspective. That voice isn't weakness, it's your brain trying to protect you. You see, your brain is wired for survival and efficiency. When your body is under stress, it starts sending signals designed to conserve energy and reduce the perceived threat, the pain that you're experiencing. Your brain doesn't know you're chasing a goal and trying to finish the race at a certain time or in a certain place. It just knows you're not feeling very well. You're uncomfortable. So it begins suggesting the easier option. Slow down, quit. Let's stop this discomfort. What are you doing to me? But endurance athletes eventually learn something important. That voice shows up in every race. And it shows up in life too. Maybe your mile 20 isn't on the race course. Let's think about it as maybe your mile 20 is in a hospital emergency waiting room, waiting for the test results or a surgery on a loved one that could change everything. Maybe it's sitting across from someone you love or care about and you're trying to repair something that's been broken for a long time. Maybe the messy middle, mile 20 for you is it's staring at that bank account and looking at all of the bills as they add up and wondering how are you going to survive financially next month? Maybe this week. Maybe it's the moment in your career when you realize the life you built doesn't quite fit the person you are becoming. Those are the middle miles too, the messy middle. And just like in a race, those moments are where endurance is built. Not at the beginning when everything feels exciting, not at the finish line when everything feels meaningful, but in the quiet middle, when doubt shows up and you decide to keep going anyway, one step after another. That's part of what made Carrie's conversation with Omar so powerful. He wasn't just talking about a career change. Omar was talking about complete realignment. He was talking about recognizing that his life he was living didn't fully match the life he wanted to build with his family. And I believe that realization takes courage because chronic stress has a way of quietly draining the human system. When stress stays elevated for long periods of time, the body floods with cortisol. Over time, that will drain motivation, creativity, clarity, and it'll suck the joy dry. And when people feel that depletion, their instinct is often to push harder. But pushing harder in a depleted state, it doesn't build resilience. It will burn you out. Have you ever felt that way? That's why a Mars shift toward experiences with his family wasn't just a lifestyle decision, it was a recalibration. Because when we step back and really look at life, the things that matter most aren't usually the things we've spent the most time worrying about. They are the moments, the dinners with friends and loved ones, the conversations, the memories, the experiences. And let's be honest, our kids, they rarely remember the job title of mom and dad, but they remember whether Dad was there. Was he present? Did he attend the games? Was he on the sideline? Was he cheering for me? Not perfect, but just present. Amar also talked about something incredibly important for the next generation, and that is failure. His kids experience losing in youth sports, dropping the ball, missing the shot. And during those experiences of failure and mistakes, you learn to get back up. That's resilience, that's endurance. That's how resilience develops. Psychological research consistently shows that resilience is not built when everything goes smoothly. It's built when people face adversity and realize they can survive it. And endurance works the same way, not just in sports, but in life. And Amar shared a story that brings all of us into sharp focus. A friend of Amar's passed away unexpectedly at the age of fifty one. Moments like that have a way of waking us all up. They remind us that life isn't something we should postpone until everything is perfect. We assume we have time. Time to slow down, time to travel, time to reconnect, time to live differently someday. But the truth is none of us know how much time we actually have. That realization isn't meant to create fear. It's meant to create clarity. Because when you understand that our time is finite, you begin asking better questions. Am I living the life I actually want? Am I present for the people who matter most? Or am I becoming the person I'm meant to become? Those questions don't require dramatic changes overnight, but they do require honesty. And maybe that's the real takeaway from Carrie's conversation with Omar this week. Not that everyone needs to quit their job or change their life overnight, but that everyone deserves to pause long enough to ask themselves a simple question. Am I truly living or am I just maintaining? Because endurance isn't about pushing endlessly. It's about aligning your life with what matters most and having the courage to keep going when things get difficult. And so here is a simple challenge coming out of this conversation. Three small steps if you feel like you are in the messy middle right now. And I would challenge you to type this out or to write this out on a piece of paper and perhaps share it with a friend or a loved one. First, pause long enough to tell yourself the truth. Not the version you tell other people, the real one. What feels out of alignment in your life right now? Secondly, identify one thing you can control. Write it down. Not everything, just one small action. Forward movement matters more than perfect clarity. And thirdly, invest your energy in experiences, relationships, and growth that future you will be grateful for. What are those? Make it happen. Because in the end, the measure of a life well lived isn't how busy we were. It's whether we showed up for the moments that matter most in our lives. This has been Project U 2.2, where we don't quit, we don't coast, and we don't surrender. If today helped, please share it with someone who might be quietly living in a cage they no longer need. And every Wednesday at 622 AM, Carrie brings the heartbeat of this work mindset, growth, and the next brave step. Until next time, stay strong, stay real, and keep living with endurance. See you at six twenty-two.