Carrie - Brain Wins: Real-Life ADHD Tips for Teens and Adults

Ever feel like your brain leaves the room mid-conversation? Or your teen can’t stay on task no matter how hard they try? ADHD isn’t laziness...it’s a brain wired to notice everything at once. In this episode, I share real-life strategies from my classroom and my home—creative, playful, and practical ways to help teens and adults focus, engage, and succeed. From “snow globe resets” to bouncy balls, micro-steps, and sensory hacks, we explore tools that work in the moment and build confidence over time.

I also share inspiring stories, small experiments that make a big difference, and how to help brains thrive without shame. Whether you’re a parent, adult, or educator, this episode gives actionable strategies to guide attention, celebrate small wins, and turn ADHD challenges into real-life victories.

For more information on working with me through 1:1 coaching, visit www.projectyou22.org or email me at carrie@projectyou22.org.

Transcript

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Have you ever been in a conversation and felt your brain just leave? Or maybe you were really trying to pay attention, nodding along, and suddenly a word from across the room, a song, or a memory from yesterday pulls you away. You know you're supposed to be present, but your brain has other plans. That could be ADHD or something that looks like ADHD. It could just be a brain that doesn't process the world like other people's, but either way, it can be frustrating and exhausting for both teens and adults. I'm Carrie Helmer, former teacher of 31 years, parent and life coach. Today I want to talk about attention, focus, and energy, the messy, creative, exhausting, and ultimately hopeful world of the ADHD brain. I'm not a doctor, but I have coached countless students, worked with my own son, and help parents navigate strategies that actually work. And here's the thing: ADHD is real, but it's not an excuse. We can validate the struggle while refusing to let it define us. So let's dive in. One of my sons once told me that if he's in a one-on-one conversation at a restaurant, he can hear a word from a different table or a song that catches his attention and suddenly he's gone. And mentally he leaves the conversation. This can come across to some people as maybe the person being lazy or disinterested. But when you really dive in, it's a brain that is wired to notice everything at once, a brain that is distracted by how it processes the world. I like to think about ADHD like a snow globe. When the globe shakes, the snow swirls everywhere. Some brains settle quickly, and others, like ADHD brains, may just take longer to settle. Every little shake, sound, movement, memory, pulls their focus away. The cool part is that we can notice that swirl, we can notice the snow, we can slow it down and guide the attention to where we want it to go. And this is something that is a learned strategy and not something we should be shameful of. So pause for a second and think about it. When was the last time you or your teenager was fully present, completely absorbed in the moment, and felt alive? Maybe laughing with a friend, solving a problem, or even doing something creative. Holding on to that feeling as we go through this episode, it's what we are aiming to create more of. Let me tell you a story about my son in elementary school. Spelling tests were brutal. He could get every word right the night before, but then go to school and fail miserably the next day. I would try everything. I tried shaving cream on the counter and he would write the words with his finger. I tried verbal drills, index card games, even fishing games where I would make a little fishing pole and he would have to swing to catch the words. And I thought I was running out of ideas. Then we tried something unconventional. I had him walk around the kitchen table and he threw MMs in the air while spelling the words out loud. Suddenly his brain clicked. He remembered the words. He got them right. That playful movement made all the difference. And I can't begin to explain how exhilarating that was for me as his mom. It was the same in my classroom. I bought bouncy balls so students could move while sitting on them. They were the large chair balls. And I would let students stand in the back or on the sides of my classrooms if they just had been tired from sitting all day long. I also got some carpet squares donated from one of my former students so that kids could sit on the floor up front. And I would even bring in cookies and milk from the cafeteria and let high school students have a little kindergarten fun time. They loved it and their focus improved dramatically. Focus isn't about just the repetition alone. It's about how the brain engages, how it moves and interacts with sensory input. Sometimes we have to get creative and sometimes we have to break all the rules that we think are normal for learning. When was the last time you did something that was creative, playful, or unusual if it helped you or your teen learn or focus? Possibly ADHD in action, and it's not a flaw, but it's a feature that we just learned to work with. So as a teacher of 31 years and as a mom of a child with ADHD, and now coaching teens and adults with ADHD, I want to leave you with some practical tools and some microcoaching moments. Here's what can work in real life. First of all, movement is focus. By bouncing on that ball or doing some stretching or standing while working, you can help your brain just learn to engage or to re-engage for those moments when it counts. Second, oral sensory input. I'm currently coaching a young teen and she knows that one of the reasons her math grade is lower than she would like it is because she has a hard time staying focused during class and often finds herself daydreaming or just writing down the basics and doesn't really absorb the material as the teacher is presenting. And so she came up with chewing gum, which is a great example of that oral sensory input. By chewing gum, she was able to help remind her brain to stay focused on the lesson. And so that's a strategy that she uses now. And not only has that helped her confidence and her ability to understand the math concepts, but it's also improved her grade. When we started, her grade was a D. She just finished this last marking period with a B-. And her goal for the final marking period is to end with an A in math class. And I think it's so doable because not only has she just learned some oral sensory input to help with her brain focus, but we also have done work on what it looks like to be an engaged student and to really focus on that. So those little small fidget tools can really help keep your brains alert for better focus, better concentration, better learning. And then thirdly, sleep and nutrition are so important. Just some small tweaks can make a big difference in your life. Fourth, micro steps. Instead of taking on a big project, people who have some ADHD tendencies just get overwhelmed with those big tasks. And so it's so much easier for their brains to break those tasks into tiny, more manageable parts and just create some micro steps. Finally, just use a pause and reset. Notice when you start having your focused shift or drift a little bit, just to do a reset and to gently return your snow globe reset, just to let the snow settle. And the mindset piece for all of this is that ADHD is real, but it doesn't have to be your identity. I remember hearing someone say, and I don't remember where, that they were fat. And then they said, you know, for so long they allowed their identity to be seen as someone who was fat. But then they pointed out that they are not fat and that doesn't have to be their identity. That they have an arm, but they're not known as arm. And they might have fat, but they don't have to be known as fat. It doesn't have to be your whole identity. And so I think it's the same here that if you have ADHD, you don't have to have your focus of your identity be around that. So awareness with the strategies just equals power. Those micro strategies and the practice can just create wins. So picture this a student struggling on a math problem, fidgeting, looking around, mentally checked out. But one small intervention, maybe it's sitting on a bouncy ball, stretching, a short walk. Any of those little tools can bring them back, help them engage, and then they experience success. That's micro coaching. They don't need lectures from parents or teachers on making their brain engage. They don't need punishment. They don't need shaming. They just need some observation, some creativity and guidance and celebration of small wins and just becoming aware of the issue that they struggle with and how to rein that all back in and how to take the snow and that snow globe that's circling and spinning out of control and let it settle so that they can focus. Those small wins build momentum faster than we often realize. So some key takeaways and some empowerment of things I want you to remember is that ADHD struggles are real, but they are manageable. And please don't attach to ADHD as a fixed identity. Your brain is unique, but it's trainable. And then movement, sensory input, micro steps, and reset strategies can make a huge difference. And then celebrate those small wins. They are the ladder to building confidence. And attention and paying attention, it isn't something that has to be perfect, but learning how your brain works and giving yourself or your teen some tools to shine. Try one strategy this week. Maybe some movement, maybe chewing gum, maybe just resetting your snow globe and watch how it shifts your focus. Notice how it feels, and then add another week. Those small wins can create lasting change. If this episode resonated with you or about one of your teens, I would love for you to subscribe to my podcast, share it with a friend or a parent. Find me at www.projectu22.org or email me, Carrie at ProjectU22.org. On this call, we will assess you or your teen's focused challenges and then identify actionable steps to start creating wins immediately and build a strategy to guide attention, energy, and confidence. ADHD is not a stop sign. It's an invitation to get creative, get aware, and build wins that last. I'm Carrie Helmer, and I will see you next time helping brains, hearts, and confidence thrive!