Carrie - Stop Trying to Be a 10 (Why You Keep Burning Out)

Part 1...In this 5-part series of Project You 2.2, we explore why so many people feel stuck, overwhelmed, and inconsistent—even when they’re trying their hardest to change.

Through real-life stories, mindset shifts, and simple behavior changes, Carrie Helmer breaks down the hidden patterns behind burnout, self-sabotage, and starting over again and again.

You’ll learn how your environment, habits, identity, and calendar are all quietly shaping your life—and what to do instead.

This isn’t about doing more.

It’s about seeing differently.

And once you see it… you can’t unsee it.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Hi, friends, and welcome back to Project U two point two. I'm Carrie Helmer, a life coach, former teacher of 31 years, mom of three boys, and someone who has learned this lesson the hard way? What if the reason that you are feeling stuck isn't because you are lazy or you have a lack of motivation or you're not disciplined enough? What if it's something that you've been carrying for so long you don't even notice it anymore? In this five-part series this week, we are going to break open some patterns that keep people overwhelmed, inconsistent, and it keeps them starting over again and again. And this week I'm going to do something different. Instead of just putting out episodes on Wednesday and Friday, I'm going to put one out Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday because I want you to start seeing why trying harder is keeping you stuck and why your environment, your calendar, and habits are shaping who you think you are, your identity, why motivation doesn't last, but your identity does. And then what actually does create lasting change, and it's not what you may think. This isn't about you becoming perfect because nobody wants somebody who thinks they're perfect, but it's about becoming aware and then becoming free. So in this series, today we're going to talk about stop trying to be a 10 and why you keep burning out. And it's this all or nothing cycle that just keeps us starting over and over again. Tomorrow we're going to talk about your house and how it might be keeping you stuck because your environment does drain your energy and your focus. And in episode three this week for Wednesday, you don't need more motivation, but just working on your identity because your behavior change will fail if you don't shift that identity in your head. On Thursday, episode four of this series, the life you want is waiting, but your calendar says otherwise because overcommitting is blocking your growth. We are putting everyone else before ourselves. And then finally, Friday, the fifth episode of this series, is where your life will start to feel different. I want to bring everything together from this week, from awareness to creating space to shifting your identity to some change in your life. So today we're going to tackle that first episode of the series and talk about something that keeps so many of us stuck. And it's this idea that we're going to change. We're going to go all in, like 10 out of 10 effort. We're going to eat perfectly. We're going to make a schedule that's perfect. We're going to practice perfect consistency. And if we can't do it that way, we don't do it at all. Let me start by asking you a question. How many times have you said, I'm starting Monday? Monday comes and you are on it. You're drinking your water, you're eating healthy meals, you get healthy movement in, maybe even a workout, your steps, you are focused, you're out of 10. And then Wednesday hits. You're tired. Something comes up, you miss one thing, and it's like the whole thing collapses. And suddenly you're like disappointed in yourself, frustrated, and just think I'll start over next week. That cycle isn't you not being disciplined enough because that's a standards problem. But you're only allowing yourself to succeed and feel like you're being successful if you are operating at a 10, if you're being perfect. I want to introduce you to something that I teach my clients, and I've mentioned it once last week. I call it the six-seven rule. And it's going to change so much in your life if you really let it. Your life doesn't change when we are all in at a 10 because life is messier than that. But it does change if you give yourself some grace and you operate consistently at a six or a seven. A six looks like not hitting everything perfectly, but still showing up, not eating perfectly, but making better choices, not doing a full workout or two workouts every single day, but going for a walk. Maybe not drinking all of your water, but drinking more than you did yesterday. Because those little shifts count and they matter. That's how change actually happens. When I lost over 50 pounds, it wasn't because I was perfect. It was because I stopped quitting. I stopped saying, I didn't do it all perfectly, so it doesn't count. I'm gonna quit, I'm gonna give up, and I'm gonna start again Monday. Instead, I started saying, that was a six, so I'll take it. Then I did another six the next day, and again the next and the next. And then suddenly those sixes started stacking into something that was powerful for me. And I have clients who used to think that they had to meal prep everything perfectly, they had to work out hard every day, they had to track every bite. Now they go for a walk, they simplify their food choices, they stay consistent, and they're getting better results because they can actually repeat it and live their lives. If you can't repeat it, it doesn't count. And you can go all in and go so hard for a couple of days, and then you go back to your other old behaviors, and it just cancels all of your workout, and you stay in this loop, like I've talked about. So here's what I want you to do today. I want you to, and I know this is going to be hard for overachievers because it even is a little bit hard for me, but I know it works. I want you to lower the bar. Not your standards for your life, but your standards for this mission, for what counts. I want you to stop chasing this idea of being perfect and instead start stacking consistent behaviors. That's where your confidence comes from, and that's where results come from, and your life will start to change. If you've been stuck in, just stuck in this all or nothing cycle. That's the kind of pattern I help people break. We don't need to do more, but we need to do something that works. If you are interested, please go to www.projectud22.org. Set up a call because we will look at what is keeping you stuck and then build something you can actually sustain. Join me every day this week if you've been feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or like you just keep starting over, because this series is going to feel probably a little bit uncomfortable and it's going to feel familiar, but in the best way. But being aware and having some awareness is where things start to change. I will see you tomorrow. I'll see you in the next episode, and I hope you have a great day.