Carrie - You Don’t Need More Motivation—You Need a New Identity

Part 3...In this 5-part series of Project You 2.2, we explore why so many people feel stuck, overwhelmed, and inconsistent—even when they’re trying their hardest to change.

Through real-life stories, mindset shifts, and simple behavior changes, Carrie Helmer breaks down the hidden patterns behind burnout, self-sabotage, and starting over again and again.

You’ll learn how your environment, habits, identity, and calendar are all quietly shaping your life—and what to do instead.

This isn’t about doing more.

It’s about seeing differently.

And once you see it… you can’t unsee it.

Transcript

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Hi friends, I'm Carrie Helmer, a life coach, a former teacher of 31 years, a mom of three boys, and someone who has spent the last few years just really figuring out what it means to stop showing up for life and actually live in it and feel it again, to feel present, to get your spark back and feel more joy, and to feel like me again. This podcast is where we have real conversations about growth, identity, and confidence, what it actually takes to create a life that just feels good on the inside and not one that looks good on the outside. This week, switching it up a little bit, we're doing a five-part series instead of just my typical posting on Wednesday and Friday. If you missed the last two episodes of this series, go back and listen to them. On Monday, we talked about the all or nothing cycle that keeps you starting over and over. And yesterday, we talked about why your house might be keeping you stuck and how your environment quietly drains your energy and focus. Today we're going deeper because this is the piece that most people miss, and it's that you don't need more motivation. You need a change in your identity because I see this all of the time when I'm coaching clients. People are trying to change their life, but they still see themselves the same way. Maybe you see yourself like someone who can't follow through, or someone who always starts and then stops, or you think you're just not disciplined or not disciplined enough. So even when you do something right, your brain goes, hmm, that's not really me. So you fall right back. I have a client who has lost over 25 pounds, but you know what she still says. She says, I don't feel like that person yet. The moment or the teaching moment here is that our identity lags behind our actions until you consciously shift it. So instead of saying to yourself, I'm trying to lose weight, what if you shifted it and instead said, I'm someone who takes care of myself? Because the bottom line is that you don't rise to your goals, you fall to who you think you are, you fall to your identity. So today I want to ask you who you're becoming and what would that version of you do today, and then do one thing that aligns with that. So if you're tired of starting over, this is where coaching changes everything because we don't just change what you do, we change how you see yourself. And that can change everything. We see this in kids so easily. We see them give up when they can't do something because it's too hard or they don't want to look like a failure. We see them do things like try to ride a bike and then they fall and they get discouraged and they say, I can't do it. And they want to give up. And we know that they can do it, we can see it, but they have to have their identity shift, and it needs a little bit of encouragement from us to say, Yes, get up, try again. And when we tell them that they can do it and they start to believe it and they shift that identity, then all of a sudden they just take off. And you see the pride in their face, you see how exciting that is for them, and you see their identity shift that they can ride a bike. And the same can be true for us, for whatever your goals are, that when we shift that identity and truly believe in ourselves that we can do this, when we shift our identity, that's when the change happens. And it takes intentional work and it takes someone else there calling you out and seeing it. So if you're tired of starting over, I would love to walk beside you. And tomorrow we are going to look at how overcommitting is silently blocking your growth. And then on Friday, I'm gonna pull everything together as we look at how just becoming aware and that awareness can help us so much in life with every single thing. You don't realize it if you are, let's say, being negative, but when someone points it out to you and you become aware of it, that makes the difference. So we're gonna look at awareness and pull it together with creating space in your life for you, not being there for everyone else and putting everyone else before you. And then work on shifting your identity and how you see yourself and how you view yourself, and then bringing it all together to actually make some change, to bring your life some joy, to get you to where you want to be. I hope you have a great day, and I will see you in the next episode.