Carrie - Work Isn’t Your Life… But It Will Shape It

What if the way you think about work… is the thing that’s keeping you stuck?

In this episode of Project You 2.2, Carrie Helmer shares a deeply personal and honest look at work, purpose, and identity—through stories that will likely feel very familiar.

From watching her dad work long factory shifts…
to seeing her mom build quiet but powerful impact through cleaning homes…
to picking blueberries at 5am as a teenager…
to spending 31 years in the classroom…

Work isn’t always fulfilling.
It isn’t always easy.
And it doesn’t always feel aligned.

But it does shape who you become.

This episode explores:

• The pressure to “have it all figured out”
• The gap between responsibility and passion
• Why even meaningful work can feel heavy sometimes
• How to shift your experience without always changing your situation
• What it really looks like to evolve into your next chapter

If you’ve ever questioned your job… your direction… or whether you’re doing the “right” thing—this conversation will meet you exactly where you are.

Ready for clarity in your next chapter?
Visit www.projectyou22.org to connect with Carrie and start the conversation.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Hey friends, welcome back to Project U 2.2. I'm Carrie Helmurra, life coach, former teacher of 31 years, mom of three boys, and someone who has spent a lot of time helping people get unstuck. And not because they don't know what to do, but because they just can't seem to do it. Today we're going to talk about that quiet pressure that starts when we're very young when people ask us what we want to be before we even know who we are. And then one day you wake up and you are something. You have a job, a title, or role, and you start wondering, is this it? Is this what work is supposed to feel like? Is this what adulting is supposed to feel like? Because we've been told two completely different stories in our lives. One says to work hard, to be responsible, to provide for yourself and your family, and the other says, find your passion, love what you do. Never feel like you're working a day in your life. And most of us are stuck somewhere in the middle trying to make sense of both. My dad worked in a foundry and not just the type of guy who would go to work and come home. He would work for long hours. Second shift, third shift. He had a schedule that would pull him away from our family, and we didn't really talk about it. It was just normal. There were moments that he missed and things that mattered to me. There were performances, dinners, and just being there. And as a kid you can feel it, but it's just you're normal. You don't always understand it, but you feel it. But now I see something different. I see a man who showed up, no matter what, who carried responsibility in his bones and still does. Who didn't have the luxury of asking, Do I feel fulfilled today? Because for dad, work wasn't about fulfillment, it was about commitment. And then there was my mom. She worked in a completely different way. She cleaned houses, and I think sometimes people look at jobs like that and they measure them wrong because what I saw was impact. She didn't just clean homes, she built relationships, she mattered in people's lives, so much so that the kids in those homes grew up and hired her when they had homes and families of their own. And so that's not just work, it's a legacy that she left. And then there was me, middle school, five o'clock in the morning, every summer, picking blueberries. I can still feel it. The rope tied around my waist, the bucket hanging from it, the heat already starting before most people were even awake, my peanut butter and jelly sandwich and that warm lemonade. And I remember thinking, this is what work is, because it felt like survival. The paycheck, that felt good. What it gave me was confidence walking into school with new school clothes, and that mattered. But the work itself, I didn't love it. And it wasn't until teaching that something shifted. The crazy part is at 17 years old, I didn't know. I wasn't thinking, teaching aligns with who I am and it aligns with my gifts. I just chose a path that felt like me, but looking back, it was so aligned with who I am. I had connection with people, energy, and I want to be very transparent right now. I don't want to sugarcoat my early teaching years because it wasn't magical at the beginning. Those first few years of teaching, they were hard, but they were rewarding, but they were so hard. I would stay late trying to figure out classroom management, teaching content I hadn't touched in years, feeling like I had no idea what I was doing half the time, but something kept me in it. And over time, I didn't just get better, I got connected, deeply connected to my students. And I got to spend over three decades with thousands of students. And I want to say this in a way that's it isn't polished, or I'm certainly not bragging. I'm just, I'm being honest. Teaching filled my soul as much as I gave, and that's the part that people don't talk about with work all of the time because we think it's about what we do, but it's really about what it creates inside of us. The connections, the the growth, the moments. I remember sitting on my counter one day watching a class that had struggled all year and seeing them locked in, working, trying, getting it, and I got emotional because that was the magic. That's the return. But I am certainly not going to pretend that every day felt like that because there were years that it truly felt like a job. And maybe not years, but there were times and there were Sunday nights that felt heavy. There were August mornings where going back to school after a summer vacation felt like, I don't know, like I was giving something up, like my freedom, time with my own kids, space. And I think this is important because we have created this idea that if you feel dread, you must be in the wrong place. And I don't believe that. I think sometimes you just feel the weight of responsibility, of structure, of being needed, and it can feel heavy at times. But there were also times I got bored where it felt like Groundhog's Day because I was I was teaching the same lessons, the same rhythm, and instead of leaving, I learned to shift. I would change how I taught and let students take over. I'd try something new, and everything would slowly change again because sometimes it's not your job that needs to change, but it's just your approach inside of it. It's showing up, it's being present, and then after 31 years, I knew. I still loved it, I still loved teaching. But I didn't want that structure anymore. I didn't want my life run by bells. I wanted a little bit more space, some time to be creative, some freedom, and so I stepped into something new, and I wish I could say that it felt clear and I was confident the whole time, but it didn't. Some days I feel powerful, I I have clarity and I feel certain like I'm building something that matters, but other days I question everything and I wonder if I am making a difference. I think about quitting. And sometimes it hits me that this feeling isn't new, it's part of working no matter what we do. I had a 19-year-old say to me recently that life just feels hard and she feels like she should have it all figured out. And I thought about how this doesn't go away because as adults we feel it too, even in retirement. So maybe our goal isn't to have it all figured out, it's just to stay in it, to keep showing up, to keep adjusting, and to keep growing. Because work isn't your whole life, but it will shape your life and it will shape who you become, how you think, how you show up in the world. And if you're in a season right now where you're questioning things, maybe it's your job, your direction, a relationship, your next move, you don't have to figure it out alone. If this episode felt like it was speaking directly to you, I want to invite you into a conversation. And as always, no pressure, just a real conversation about where you are, what you're feeling, and what might be next for you. Reach out to me directly to book a call with me and we'll talk it through. We'll walk away with some clarity about your life, where you are, no matter what you decide. And if this hits you, don't just move on to the next thing. Sit with it or send it to someone who needs to hear it because chances are they're feeling it too. I hope you have a great day, and I'll see you in the next episode.