Carrie - Why Some Work Drains You… and Some Work Lights You Up

Why do some days at work leave you energized…
while others leave you completely drained?

In this episode of Project You 2.2, Carrie Helmer explores a powerful shift most people never stop to consider:

It’s not just what you’re doing…
it’s how you’re wired to work.

Through real-life stories—from helping a student go from a “zero” to 100% in minutes… to leading teams and observing workplace dynamics—Carrie breaks down why two people can be in the exact same role… and have completely different experiences.

You’ll learn:

• Why being “good” at something doesn’t mean it’s right for you
• The different ways people think, work, and process
• How misunderstanding your strengths leads to burnout
• Why we judge ourselves (and others) when we don’t understand these differences
• How to identify what actually gives you energy vs. what drains it

Because when you understand how you’re wired…
you stop forcing… and start flowing.

Ready to figure out what actually works for you?
Visit www.projectyou22.org to connect with Carrie and start building a life that fits you.

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:20

Hi friends, welcome back to Project U 2.2. I'm Carrie Helmer, a life coach, former teacher of 31 years, mom of three boys, and someone who has spent a lot of time helping people get unstuck. And not because they don't know what to do, but because they just can't seem to do it. In the last episode, we talked about work, how it shapes us, how it stretches us, how sometimes it fulfills us, and other times it drains us. But the question I want you to think about today is why. Why can two people be in the exact same job? One feels alive, the other feels drained and exhausted. Why can you have seasons where you love what you do and then suddenly it starts to feel heavy? I didn't fully understand this until I started paying closer attention and not just to the work, but how people work. I see this so often in the students, in the teens that I have worked with. And I had a student recently who had a quiz coming up, and when I asked her how she felt about it on a scale from one to ten, she said zero. Zero. Not I'm nervous or I'm a little unsure, but zero. And I thought, okay, this is not about her ability because I've been working with her this semester. And I could have just gone through the motions. I could have helped her with a few problems and checked the box and moved on. But I didn't. I asked her, how many minutes can you completely lock in? Like, really lock in, no distractions. You're gonna be all in. And she smiled and said, I don't know, maybe five to ten minutes. And it wasn't because she has a super short attention span, but it's because she'd gone to school all day, she'd had basketball practice, and now here we are sitting down to get ready for her math quiz tomorrow. And so I said, perfect, let's go. And in those five to ten minutes, I retaught her everything the big picture, the connections, clarity, and then we went into the problems. And before we ended her session, I told her that I couldn't wait to see her 100% tomorrow on the quiz. And I meant it. Even though it was a bold thing to say, and she texted me the next day and said 100%. And yeah, it was about the math, but not really about the math. It was about understanding how someone works. Her brain needed a reset, a focused window, a belief shift. And the more I've worked with people, the more I've realized that we're not all built the same when it comes to work. Some people love coming up with ideas, and some people love finishing things. Some people love being helpers and some people love asking questions. And some people get completely drained doing certain parts of the process, even if they're good at them. And that's where things seem to break down because we assume if I can do it, I should do it. But that's not always true. Just because you can do something doesn't mean that you're meant to live there. I see this in real life all the time. I've worked with people who can plan all day long. They'll make lists, they'll dream up ideas and organize everything in their head. But finishing, that's where they get stuck. They aren't lazy. It's just that certain parts drain or overwhelm them. And then I've seen the opposite. I've seen people who don't want to sit around talking about ideas. They want to move, they want to pull up their sleeves and get it done, check the box, finish the task because that gives them energy. And neither is better. They're very different. And when you don't understand that, you can start judging yourself, or worse, you start judging other people. I started to think about this like gears, different gears in how we work. Some people are naturally asking, is this the best way? Should we rethink this? And others are saying, I've got an idea, let's try this. Some people trust their gut quickly, and others like to rally the group and they bring the energy, and some step in and support everyone around them. And some, they're the ones who make sure it actually gets finished. We're not all of them, and I'm not, you're not, none of us are. But when I look at myself, I know I bring energy, I can get people moving, I can lock in and get things done. But there are other areas where I don't naturally go where it takes more effort on my part, and I feel that resistance, and this just means that we're human because we all have strengths and we all have gaps. I saw this very clearly for years when I was the math department chair. You would have people in meetings who were loud, some were quiet, some questioned everything, and some would just shut down. And if you weren't careful, you would think the loud voices were the most valuable, but that's not usually true. Because sometimes the quiet person is the one who sees everything. They are processing and thinking and waiting for that right moment. And if we don't create space for that, we miss it. This is where workplaces, families, teams, groups start to break down. Because instead of understanding those differences, we label them. We might call them difficult or lazy or too much, not enough. But what if instead of trying to be good at everything, you actually understood where you thrive naturally and you stopped forcing yourself into roles that drain you? And what if you started building your work and your life around what actually gives you energy? And that's where you'll see things change. What parts of your work feel easy and natural, maybe even energizing, and what parts feel heavy, like you're pushing uphill and it's just exhausting every time. That awareness alone is powerful because once you see it, you can't unsee it, and you can start to take steps to move forward. And if you're sitting there right now thinking, okay, this makes sense, but I don't know what to do with it, that's where I come in because this is the work I love, helping people figure out how they're wired, why they feel stuck, and how to actually move forward in a way that fits them. If you would like to have that conversation, reach out to me directly to book a call with me. We'll talk through it. Your work, your energy, your next step, and there's no pressure, just clarity. If this episode made you think of someone, send it to them because chances are they're feeling it too. And if you haven't listened to the first episode yet, go back to the one right before this one. Because this is just the next layer. Have a great day, and I'll see you in the next episode.