Carrie - The Power of Listening

What if the most powerful way to improve your relationships… isn’t what you say—but how you listen?

In this episode of Project You 2.2, Carrie dives into one of the most overlooked (and misunderstood) skills in communication: true listening.

Through real-life stories—from the classroom to everyday conversations—she breaks down how quickly we shift focus, interrupt, or try to “fix”… instead of simply being present. And how those small moments can quietly shut people down and weaken connection.

You’ll hear relatable examples (including the all-too-common “story hijack” moment), along with simple, powerful ways to become a better listener—without overthinking it.

In this episode, you’ll learn:
 • Why listening builds trust faster than advice ever will
 • The subtle ways we unintentionally stop people from opening up
 • Simple questions that create deeper, more meaningful conversations
 • How to pause, validate, and connect—without needing to fix

If you’ve ever felt unheard… or want to become someone others truly trust—this episode will change how you show up in every conversation.

Your challenge:
 Pause. Ask. Listen.
 …and watch what changes.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Welcome back to Project U two point two, the podcast where we explore the practices, habits, and mindset shifts that help you live fully and level up your life. I'm Carrie Helmer, a life coach, former teacher of 31 years, mom of three boys, and someone who has spent a lot of time helping people get unstuck. Not because they don't know what to do, but because they just can't seem to do it. Today's topic is deceptively simple, but a little wildly powerful. And it's listening. When we truly listen, we become better partners, parents, friends, and teachers. But when we don't, well, we unintentionally shut people down. They stop sharing, feel frustrated, and everyone leaves a little bit empty. Okay, tell me if you have ever felt this. People who always have a story to tell the second you start talking. If you bring up a problem and you're hoping to work through it, they launch into a story from their life. It's never ending. And it's like you become their therapist and suddenly your frustration balloons because they're not really listening to you. You know the people in your life who always jump in with their story thinking they're helping. And sometimes it's just exhausting. As a teacher, I learned a secret about listening that changed me. Parents would often tell me, Carrie, you have a magical way of getting kids to open up. And it's not magic, it's intentional listening. And I want to share some of it with you today. I practice asking thoughtful questions, pausing before I respond, and really tuning into what the child is feeling. That pause, that space to be heard builds truth instantly. Kids start sharing things they might never say with anyone else. And parents notice they feel relief and amazement. This works everywhere at home, at work, in relationships. People feel understood, and that connection is everything. And while we can't be perfect at it, it is certainly something that we should strive to continuously work on. I want to give you a few examples because learning this doesn't have to be serious all the time. You're venting about a frustrating day at work, and someone immediately starts telling you about the time they had the exact same thing happen. Your story disappears. Their story takes center stage. Sound familiar? Here's another one I think we've all done, myself included. You're talking to someone and they're nodding and saying, yeah, mm-hmm. But you can tell they're not really there. Maybe they're on their phone, maybe their eyes are drifting, and you just feel it. You feel like you're not actually hearing me right now. And what do we do in that moment? We start to shut down, we shorten our story, we look for someone else who will listen, we stop going deeper. And that's what happens when people don't feel listened to. They don't fight for attention, they just stop sharing. Or have you ever shared something that actually mattered to you? And the person you're talking to responds with something completely surface level, and you're sitting there thinking, wait, you missed it. You missed the point. You missed what I was really trying to say. And in that moment, it doesn't make you want to explain it better. It makes you want to just pull back. That's what happens when we listen to respond instead of listening to understand. I have even caught myself doing every one of those things before. The point is that listening isn't just about serious conversation, it's about noticing, pausing, and giving someone space to show up without interrupting them or giving them advice or correcting them. So if you're looking for ways to level up your listening skills starting today, let's talk about some of these. First, pause before responding. Don't plan your story while they're talking, let them finish. And then try asking them some open-ended questions like, ooh, how did that make you feel? Or, oh my gosh, what happened next? Or, oh, that sounds heavy. What's the hardest part of that for you? And then mirror and validate them. Repeat a small piece of what they said and resist the urge to fix it. Sometimes people just want to process and not get advice. If you are really feeling compelled or you feel like they want advice, ask, do you want my perspective or do you just want to vent? And then notice your triggers. If their story reminds you of something, acknowledge it internally, but don't derail their conversation. I want you to try this experiment. Pick someone in your life, it could be a partner or child, a friend, and commit to listening more than speaking for one conversation. Ask a thoughtful question. Pause. Let them really share. And notice how different the interaction feels. You might be surprised at the depth of connection you create and how much trust and respect grows in that one conversation. Listening is more than being polite. It is powerful. It builds empathy between both of you, builds trust and understanding. And the more you practice, the more naturally it flows into every part of your life. So your challenge is simple. Just pause, ask a thoughtful question, and listen. Don't interrupt, don't solve, just be present. When you do this, you'll notice that the people around you will open up in ways you aren't used to, and you'll level up your life without even trying. Until next time, this is Project U 2.2, reminding you that sometimes the best way to teach, lead, and love is just to listen. Have a great day, and I'll see you in the next episode!