The Dx2 Podcast
Two sisters discuss what they are learning about having a balanced wheel of life that rolls along as smoothly as possible.
The Dx2 Podcast
You Control Your Response, Not The World Around You
We use a mile-21 marathon moment to explore Stoic tools for a steadier mind, better choices, and a kinder life. Marcus Aurelius and Epictetus move from quote to action as we focus on control, reaction, and practical hope.
• family cheering as a catalyst for mental strength
• the Wheel of Life mental spoke unpacked
• Stoicism explained through Marcus, Seneca, Epictetus
• focus on what you control, accept what you cannot
• argue less about goodness, practice virtue instead
• anxiety as imagined futures, presence as antidote
• prepare wisely without living in fear
• response over reaction in daily stressors
• real client stories on mindset and health outcomes
• three practical tools to act with intention
If you liked this episode, please share with a friend or family member and leave us a review. Tell us what you loved and what you want more of.
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Welcome to the D Times 2 podcast, hosted by Sisters Denise and Deborah. We are all about finding balance in the various parts of life. Using the Wheel of Life as our guide, we explore how to keep each spoke rolling smoothly. We discuss health and wellness, education and spirituality, as well as mental and emotional growth. Join us for real conversations, practical tips, and a few laughs as we share stories, insights, and strategies to help you create a life that feels balanced, purposeful, and designed by you. Hey Denise. Hey Deb. How's it going? Good. It's good to see you today. You too. Thank you. You've been busy. I have. What's been going on? Well, I took a weekend trip with my husband down to Utah, and we met my son's future in-laws. Mm-hmm. That was fun. Meet the parents. Meet the parents. They're such good people. I'm so excited for the two of them. They're gonna be a good couple, and it's always fun when you get along with the in-laws. Yes. Yeah. Actually, all my kids have really good in-laws. I like them all. So it's very good. My son and his fiancee ran in a race. Well, not just a race, it's a marathon. Shush. Down a canyon. So most of it was downhill. She's a runner. She's run distance a lot of her life. And Garrett is not a runner. He's a straight athlete. He's a buff athlete. So his build is not technically a good running build, but he wanted to do it with her and they had a good time. He did not train very much. Okay. But he felt like he could just, you know, just do it and just do the best he could and finish. And we can watch them on the race website. You can see they have little microchips or something, some tracking, something in their runner's bib. And so you can watch them to see where they are. For their location. Yes. And on the race. Because it was because it was down a canyon, you couldn't go up and watch through the canyon. But once they came back down into the city, you could find places to watch them. So we found a place to watch them with the future in-laws. And he didn't know that we were going to be doing that. And so as he was coming up, he was his pace was really slow, like 10-minute mile, which is not his jam. Right. Well, he's long legs, like he moves quicker than that. Yes. And like you said, he is an athlete. Yeah. So we were there along the side watching for him to come, and he was walking, and you could just tell that he was not feeling great. Something was wrong. And so as he got closer, we started cheering for him. And my husband went down and ran alongside him for a little while and and and got him to run a little bit. And but you could tell he was not doing well. So that was about mile 21 out of 26.2, right? Yeah. So then we met him down at the finish line. We drove down and cheered them, both of them on as they came through the finish line, and they were about 15, 20 minutes apart. And when Garrett came through the finish line, he was running. You could tell he was in pain. Yeah. So then I I talked to him afterwards and I after he'd recovered a little bit and could speak in coherent sentences. I can't imagine. I know. I was watching some of those people come off and just just the pain on their face. Yeah. But the determination to finish was is impressive to me. Anyways, when he was ready to talk, I asked him, I said, Was it helpful to see us on the sideline cheering you on? He said, Yes, it helped my mental state so much. And I thought that has I've I've thought about that. Well, all the runners going by, we didn't know any of them. Right. And we would just cheer them on. Yeah. And you could see their faces change and their demeanor just change. Yeah. So he said, anyways, he said it helped him a lot, his mental state to improve it. And he was able to do a little bit more. And I just thought about that in life. We need cheerleaders. Yeah, we do. And we should cheer each other on in life and be there to support each other. It helps more than we know, helps the other person way more than we know. So cheer people on. For sure. That's the message of my little story. Cheer people on. We all need cheering. Yeah. Yeah. Encouragement. Some sometimes more so than others, but it's easy to do. Super easy. Good job. Yeah. Way to go. We said that a lot. Good job, way to go. Keep moving. Good job, GG. And that's all it is, right? I mean, people just need keep moving. You got it. A little bit more. You can do it. In whatever form we can give that to people. I think it's important. Awesome. Yeah. I'm glad you were able to be there for him. For them. For them. Yeah. For them. And meet the meet the future in-laws. I'm glad you guys get along well. It was nice. Cool. So, what do you want to talk about today? Today I want to talk about the mental, emotional, spiritual spoke of our wheel. Okay. And specifically the mental part. Yeah. Do you, Deborah, know what a Stoic is? Not really. I first I definitely couldn't define it. So the Stoics were a school of ancient Greek philosophers, well, Greek and Roman philosophers. And they developed a practical philosophy focused on living a virtuous life, a rational life, to achieve inner tranquility. So no matter what's going on around you, they believed that you could focus on certain things and it would just improve the quality of your life. Okay. Some of the most famous, well, uh we'll talk about two. Well, three. I'll say three. Okay. There are several, but epictetus. Hopefully I'm saying that right because I'm sorry. Epic pictotus. Yes. Epictetus. Okay. Yes. It's I'm glad that we don't have those names like that anymore. But that's a tough one to say. So he's one. Seneca is another one. Okay, that one I've heard of. And Marcus Aurelius. He's probably the most well-known. Yeah, heard of him. Yes. I want to talk to you about my ice cream I have almost every night for dessert. I started making it about six months ago with some of my very favorite protein powder. It's from Equip Foods Prime Protein, and it's one of the safest, cleanest, doctor-formulated protein powders that helps to build muscle and shred fat that won't leave you gassy or bloated. That's one of the problems I have with other kinds of proteins. Anyway, it's 100% grass-fed and finished. I make my protein out of their chocolate and their peanut butter. So it's my amazing peanut butter chocolate protein ice cream. It helps me meet my protein goals and taste amazing. To get a nice discount, go to equipfoods.com slash dx2 to get 30% off of a subscription order or a nice 15% discount off of a one-time order. You'll love it. So their core principles focus on virtue as the highest good. So wisdom, courage, justice, temperance lead to a good life. They focus on what you can control. We can't control everything, and a lot of us get caught up in things we can't control. So that was one of their things. And they they the love of fate. So accepting life's events as they are. Yep. Accepting things as they are, even hardships that they're they're necessary for life. Uh-huh. It's part just part of life. So the love of fate. Okay. Okay. Yep. And then memento mori. So reflecting on mortality to prioritize meaningful actions. So focus on what's in front of you and what's real. So there are a couple of Marcus Aurelius quotes that I want to just share, and then we can talk about this. So one of his most well-known ones is you have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength. To me, that means that things around us happen. And we get to choose how we respond to them and how we think about them. And we control ourselves. Things happen all the time. Yes. The last year has been kind of a crazy year in the world. And there are wars going on, and there's I mean, we could say the last five years. I mean, there's always something. Yes. Sometimes to a larger extent than others, but thing you're right, things happen around us all the time. Sometimes things happen to us. Yes. And we can't control everything that happens to us and around us. So, but we can control our inner world. And our mind does play a big role in that, how we think about things and feel about things. Have you seen how your mind can can have an impact in how you're thinking, feeling, and viewing things? Yes. It's something I am pretty aware of. Is like I think of it as like my outlook, my perception, because I get to choose my perception of what goes on and then how I respond to things versus reacting to things. React being reactive or reactionary is kind of just knee-jerk. It's not deliberate and thought out or reasoned through. I'm not going to say I'm perfect. I am aware and mindful of it. And sometimes I will admit, like I get caught in a spiral or a loop, or you know, get strung up in something that makes me anxious. And like to me, the definition of anxiety is focusing on what could happen or what might happen rather than what is happening. And the more I can just focus on what actually is, the better my, I'm gonna say, mental state is. We imagine up a lot of things that are not real, like they're just not real. Things have happened in the past, those things are real, right? Things are happening right now, and that is real. We have no concrete evidence as what's going to happen in the future. Nothing, none, none. Like a year ago, you couldn't have said the things that have happened in the last six months in the world. Right. So, or in your life. I like that, living now, learning from the past, and living now so that your future can be the best. Another thing, another quote from Marcus Aurelius is waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one. Okay. Yeah. So instead of there's a lot of chatter in the world. Sometimes we online, there's a lot of chatter. There's chatter, there's divisiveness, there's arguments. And people's viciousness. Yeah, viciousness. Yes. And people saying, oh, that person's a bad person, or this person just causes so much trouble in the world and their opinions are so bad. Instead of maybe focusing on those things, which you cannot control, be a good person. That actually makes me think of two things. One is be the good you wish to see in the world, right? That saying, you you do you, you be you, you be good. Do good, help others do good. Yeah. And the other is the scripture and the exact wording of it is escaping me right now, but it's the moat and the beam in the eye. Yes. Right? So, or you can't see the forest for the trees. Focus on what's important and focus on being the best you you can be instead of telling other people how they could be better. How terrible they are, and how they need to improve. We're not here to judge them or you know, any of that. We need to focus in on ourselves. Yeah. And those we have influence and sway over. Yes. As we focus on being good and doing good and becoming better, yeah, it can have an effect on others around us that we don't even know. So you can watch somebody improving their life and it's inspiring to you. And that person probably has no idea whatsoever that you're even watching, right? But it's part of their ripple effect. Yeah. Yeah. So be a good person. You want to have a good influence in the world, be a good person. So I want to just say I think the definition of good person varies from person to person. Yes. But the concept is going to be universal. You can't do terrible things while being a good person. You're right. It's subjective, but you need to be the best you you can be and look at a universal definition of good. Like if it brings light and truth and wisdom and peace and joy, that's gonna be good. If it brings negativity and darkness and pain and suffering, that's gonna be bad. Yes, yes. You shouldn't cause pain and suffering in the name of good. Yeah. Just be kind. Jesus said, love everyone. Jesus and everyone. Yes. Yeah. I know there's times of war where you're a good person, you things happen, it causes pain and suffering. That's aside from this. Yes. But there is the universal, universal light, joy, peace, contentment that come with good. And there is, I think, universal darkness, sadness, despair, pain, suffering that come with bad. You can disagree. I see you thinking it through. I am thinking it through. I I think if if you wish harm on another person, that is bad. I agree. If you actively cause pain and suffering and and death, that that is bad. That's not our place. No. Yeah. But if you're if you're helping people to grow, to live out of poverty, to have happiness in their life, in their own internal world life, those things are good. Yeah. That's what we're trying to do. Yes, and actively trying to do through this podcast. So hopefully you're getting it. Yes. It's coming through. Yes, hopefully. You, our audience. We love you. Yes, we do. We're trying to help. Here's one that kind of goes along, kind of goes along with what we were just talking about. Marcus Aurelius says, whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question. What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize? Ah, that's the moat and the beam. Yes, it is. Yes. Yeah. So I don't know about you, but I have plenty of things in my life that I need to overcome, correct, polish up. None of us are without fault and weaknesses. Yeah. And so to point out others' faults and weaknesses, like what do you have that's that's close to that? And should you say something to them about it? Or can you improve yourself and maybe they can see that reflected in you and in them, and maybe they'll improve it themselves. Ultimately, it's up to them. Right. Right. So our faults are ours to correct the moat and the beam. So do you know what a moat is? It's a tiny speck of dust. Yes. And what's a beam? It's a large chunk of wood. Yes. So the parable is shared in the New Testament by Jesus, and he's talking about people finding fault with others. And one person says, Let me get that moat out of your eye, but there's a beam in their own. Like we can see faults of others, but can you see the own your own fault? I think that's kind of what this quote from Marcus Aurelius is saying. Yeah, so I agree. Okay, enough on Marcus Aurelius. He was great. He's I think he's probably the most well known. Yeah, I've I mean I've known of him. I've known of some of his works, but I didn't realize he was in the classification of a stoic. Yes. Yeah. So thank you for educating me on that. Yeah, you're welcome. Okay, so we're going to Epictetus. Uh-huh. If he hears me, I hope he can he forgives me for saying his name wrong. But that's what it looks like. Okay. This one I think causes a lot of trouble in the world and in people's lives, individual lives. He says Epictetus says, man is not worried by real problems so much as by his imagined anxieties about real problems. It goes back to our live now. You can't do anything about the future. And when we think about the I want to go for it. Fix that. Okay. Because we can do something about the f future. We just can't control the future. Yes, the future's not fixed. Right. So when we have imagined things about the future, it causes us anxiety. You talked a little bit about that. Yeah. So what if if I do this, what if this happens? Or if my child doesn't participate in this ultimate elite sport, they're never going to get into college. Right. And that's how you function in your life. There are people that do that, you know. And you don't know what the future holds for your child. You don't know what the future holds for you. You can make plans and you can work towards certain things. But to be anxious, to be worried, to have this future envisioned in your mind that's not real and then be worried about it wastes a lot of time and energy. And it really takes a toll on a lot of people's mental health in general. I know people who are actively trying to prevent against all negative eventualities that may happen in their life. They call it being prepared for the worst. Okay. And I think you can prepare without living there. Oh, yes. And then be anxiously engaged in your life. That means you're engaged in the here and now, still participating while being prepared for the eventual future the best you can. But also what you think about, you bring about. Yes. So the more you focus on the bad things that could happen, you actually attract them into your life. Yes. So think about shoring up your hedges, like shore up your banks, and then get on with your life. Live your life. Be in your life. Do good in your life. And come what may. Yes, I agree. You do have to prepare. You know, just spend all the money you made today, today. Right. Save some for later. Save some for later. And same goes with exercising. You're not exercising, just lose 15 pounds today because that's not going to happen. No. But you exercise for your future health. And for your longevity. Yes. So that you can live a productive, healthy life till you are snuffed out and gone. So what you do today will affect tomorrow and the next day. But don't live in the future where you don't know what's going to happen. Any more than you live in the past. Yeah. Yeah, don't in the precious present. Precious present. Awesome. Okay, I have one more I want to share. Okay. Epictetus says it's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. It goes back to external forces and internal forces. Things happen to us all the time, all day, every day. Things we can control and things we can't control. Yeah. Somebody says something mean to you, you get to react how you want. Somebody says something kind to you, you get to react how you want. Somebody cuts you off in traffic. You get to react how you want. Somebody cuts in front of you as a line at the grocery store. You get to react how you want. Dr. John Di Martini talks about this principle a lot. I think that's probably what his program is designed around. He's so wise. Yes. So he talks about events in our life are just events, which is what Epictetus is saying here. Events are events. We get to decide what comes next. We assign their importance and what the meaning of them is. Yes. So Dr. DiMartini talks about how there are some hard, hard things that happen in life. And you can make them, you can make them terrible in your life, or you can use them to build good in your life. He's worked with some people who've had awful, dark, dark things happen. And they've had terrible lives since this since the events happened. And he can work with them so they can change how they view the event as just an event and all of the good that can come from it. You've been to one of his programs, right? Yes. Is that about right? Years and years and years ago. Yeah. That one was more geared towards finances. Quite frankly. It was after that that he got more into this realm that you're talking about. But, you know, just as you're talking, it's think making me think of a couple of my clients that I have worked with one-on-one. Both women, both about the same age. And within two days of each other, they were both given a diagnosis of advanced stage breast cancer. And the approaches each of them took was vastly different. One of them took it in stride and said, okay, I'm going to get educated. I'm going to explore my options. I'm going to make my choice and move forward with what I choose. And that's what she did with full belief and faith in her course of action. And she is now in complete remission. And it just was kind of a blip on her radar. And it was amazing to me because it was advanced age. Interesting. The other one was terrified, talked to everybody about it all the time, sought continuous opinions and advice and direction and listened to everyone's opinions on what she was choosing to do for it. And never ever had a sense of certainty. It was only fear. And she died within two months. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Like, and they were literally this, like they could have had, in my opinion, the same outcome. Either way. She was absolutely ruled by fear and anxiety and never like trusting in what she was doing because of so many outside influences. She never made her internal decision. But the other one, healthy, thriving, happy, and I know different people do come away from the same diagnosis with different outcomes, but the approach each of them took and the fear and overwhelm and uncertainty compared to the firmness and belief in direction between the two was really something for me to watch. That would have been interesting to watch. There's a lot of backup to what you just said about our internal world with hope, certainty, and direction for a fear-driven life. It does things to us, it does things to your body, not just your mental state, but your on the cellular level. Yes, it really does affect you. That's a great real world example, thank you. Yeah, that I I watched play out in real time. Yes. So it's not what happens to you, but how you react that matters. Yeah. Choose your reaction, choose your response. Knowing that we're all human and sometimes we make the wrong choice. Yes. Sometimes we can reflect and say, I could have done that better. Yes. And then you learn from it and move forward. Yeah. Don't live in it. So today maybe take a few words from the Stoics and look at your internal world. Find maybe find a couple of things that you need to reflect on and improve. Maybe there's an area in your life where you can react less and act instead.
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SPEAKER_00:Change your view on some things about it's not somebody else's fault. It's some things are really in your own head. So what in your own head can you improve and correct? Take some action on it or give it some thought, analysis, pondering. Yes. Think about it. Make intention. Be intentional about things in your life, how you react and think and feel. Awesome. Thank you. So if you liked this episode, if you found anything valuable in it, please share with a friend, family member, someone, anyone who you might think would enjoy this episode. And leave us a review. It just takes a second, but it really helps us to be able to reach more people. And if you leave comments, you can tell us what you love and maybe what you didn't love, and we can take it in love. What you would like to see more of or get more of. Yep. Yep. Perfect. So until next time, keep your wheel rolling along strong and with purpose. Thank you. Thanks for listening to the D Times 2 podcast with Denise and Deborah. We hope you enjoyed today's episode. Be sure to subscribe and share it with someone who's ready to roll toward a more balanced life. Your support means the world to us. And just a quick note we're sharing our own experiences and ideas, not professional advice. Always do your own research and talk to a qualified professional before making big decisions. Until next time, keep your wheel rolling strong.