The Dx2 Podcast
Two sisters discuss what they are learning about having a balanced wheel of life that rolls along as smoothly as possible.
The Dx2 Podcast
Wants Vs Needs, Made Simple
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We draw a hard line between wants and needs and show how four essentials—movement, sleep, nourishment, and safe connection—support physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. Practical tools include walking, strength, stillness, breathing, music curation, and a curated inner circle.
• wants vs needs and why the distinction matters
• movement as medicine and stillness as reset
• sleep as hormonal, cognitive, and emotional regulation
• breathing and low humming to calm the nervous system
• nutrition beyond food, including inputs like media and music
• music frequency, lyrics, and mood shaping
• three to five close friends as the social baseline
• pruning relationships and honoring seasons of friendship
• environment, crowds, and energy management
• choosing the best to align life with values
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Remember that at the bottom of the episode in the show notes, we have resources for you. We have some free downloads available and discount codes for the things we recommend
https://www.polarhaircare.com/DEBRA63344Color your hair without all the toxic ingredients!
The TRUTH Framework Free download
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Just Ingredients $10 off a $49+ order
...Welcome to the D Times 2 podcast, hosted by Sisters Denise and Deborah. We are all about finding balance in the various parts of life. Using the Wheel of Life as our guide, we explore how to keep each spoke rolling smoothly. We discuss health and wellness, education and spirituality, as well as mental and emotional growth. Join us for real conversations, practical tips, and a few laughs as we share stories, insights, and strategies to help you create a life that feels balanced, purposeful, and designed by you. Good morning, Deborah. Good morning, Denise. It's nice to see you. It's really good to see you too. Yeah. We've been having some crazy weather. It's bizarre. So we're in the middle of December and no snow in Idaho. I have a green grass, green a green grass. All of my grasses are green on my lawn. Yeah, it's nuts. We need some snow. Anyways. We do. That's good to see you. What have you been up to? Oh, just I'm getting ready for some family to come. And I was thinking about this the other day. Somebody told me a story. I think it's really funny. Do you tell? Okay. So I bought some body wash. That is a creamy body wash. So it's hydrating. And this and the label says hydrating. Okay. Cream. Hydrating cream. Yes. Okay. And underneath the hydrating cream, in smaller, much smaller letters, it says body wash. Okay. So it's hydrating, creamy body wash. And it was on the counter in my bathroom, and like a guest bathroom in my house. And this person went in to use to the bathroom and they washed their hands and then they put some hydrating cream on their hands. And then they came out and they said, Oh my gosh, this smells so good, this lotion that you have on the counter. And I was like, I said, what lotion? The one you have on the counter. And I said, I think that's body washed. So we walked into the bathroom together, and sure enough, it was body wash. It all smells amazing. And they used it a couple of times and like give me some body wash as a lotion. That's kind of funny. How's it working for you? Yeah. So that was a couple of months ago. And then I talked to this person last week and they said, Do you remember when? Of course you do. She says, I just did it again. She bought she bought the stain that said moisturizing, creamy, you know, and under 99th in tiny words. It said body wash, but she'd been using it as lotion again. And then she looked at it, she's like, oh my gosh. That's funny. So read the label. So I want it. How old is she? Does she need readers? She might need readers now. Oh, so some of us can't see the fine print like we used to be able to do. No. It's important to read the whole label, I guess. It is. So it is a funny story. Okay. Thanks for sharing. You're welcome. What are we talking about today? Today we're talking about wants and needs on the difference between some of them. So I think sometimes in our personal lives we are influenced that we our our wants are actually needs, and it's not true. Yes. So what, Deborah, do what do you think the difference between wants and needs is? So I'm gonna say a need comes down to fundamental basic needs for survival as opposed to a want. Like I want to take a trip to Hawaii. It's not a need. I could absolutely convince myself that it's a need. True. That sunshine would be so good for my emotional health. The time spent with loved ones would be so great for my social and family, but it's a a want, not a need. Need comes down to the fundamentals. What we need to survive and be alive. Yes. I agree. That's a really good explanation. And I also quote unquote need a trip to Hawaii. But yeah, that's a want. So it's important to differentiate the difference between wants and needs. Wants can get us into a lot of trouble, get us in financial trouble, relationship trouble, spiritual trouble. It can make our anxiety way out of control. Like it really affects us. So let's talk. That was brief about wants, but I think we all know what wants are. Let's talk about needs. And we're going to address three categories of needs: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. And you might think that they are separate, but they are not separate. Not in the way that we're going to talk about them. We have some some basic needs. We have movement. We need to move our bodies. Need to move. If you stop moving, it's it's bad for you in a lot of things. We've said before, motion is lotion and movement is life. Yeah. Yes. So movement, sleep. Yes. And we've talked about sleep. We've talked about nutrition. We have needs with our nutrition. Yes. Social. Our social and friend group or area of our life. There are needs with that. And there are wants, but there are for sure needs. So let's just talk about some of those. Okay. So the first one let's talk about is movement. So you're for your physical health, we need to move. We need to exercise. We need to build muscle. We need to walk. If you're in a bad mood, go for a walk. If you're feeling hungry, go for a walk. If you're feeling stressed, go for a walk. So walking is important. And lifting weights, something heavy. Strength training. That's important. That is a need. You need to move and you need to strengthen your body. I would agree. What are some ways that you like to move? Well, I just as we were talking about movement for the, because you're talking about for the physical body. It greatly affects my mental state when I move by my body. It always raises my mental emotional state every time. Whether I'm taking a walk, taking a hike, paddle boarding, dancing, whatever I'm doing. Sometimes I do yoga, sometimes I do Pilates, strength training, obviously. Sometimes, like I do everything I can. But the guaranteed thing is walking. I can always walk no matter where I am. It can be inside, it can be outside. You mentioned before we've been having some crazy weather. We've had a lot of rain. And I don't want to walk outside in the rain because I don't have a raincoat. If I did, I have an umbrella, great, but I don't have a raincoat right now. So I walk inside. I walk on my treadmill or I go to Walmart or Sam's Club or Costco and I do laps in the store and just walk. Walking is great. Yeah, it is great. You said you exercise more for your mental. I didn't say more, but it greatly affects my mental health. I want to move my body, but I notice a definite improvement in my mental and emotional health when I do it. Dr. James, uh please, if he ever listens to this, please uh forgive me for how I pronounce your name. James De Nicolatonio. Anyways, I call him Dr. De Nicol. Yeah, it's way easier. I think that's his handle. Anyways, he says exercise is more for your mental health than your physical health. Nutrition is for fat loss, exercise is for sanity, and exercise for exercise for your mental health. It's it's really important. So that's movement. Yeah. For your physical health, for your mental emotional health, but it's also important for your spiritual health. So your your body needs movement, it needs balance, but part of movement is also being still. It's the antithesis of movement. But I know my body and my mind, I'm gonna say my nervous system, craves stillness. For sure. You need both. You need movement, you need to walk for walk briskly, you need to exercise for your physical health, mental emotional health, and you need to be still for your spiritual health and your mental emotional health. Your body needs that stillness, that quiet, that little bit of rest.
SPEAKER_01:One could say balance between the two.
Debra:Yeah, it's important for your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. I've said that a couple of times in this last two minutes. But movement is important and stillness is important. And if you have trouble being still, you don't have to sit still for five minutes. You can sit in your car, like you talked about this in previous episodes. You sit in your car and take some nice deep breaths. That counts as stillness. You can sit and hum for 30 seconds or a minute. Guess what? That counts as stillness and it calms your body. The humming calms the nervous system. Yep. And it calms your nervous system and it calms your spirit and allows you just overall relaxation. Does it matter what you hum? Yes. It does. The deeper the hum, the more calming it is. So be a bass, not a soprano. As bass as you can get. Yeah. So humming in general is good, but the deeper, lower tone, the better it is for you. I actually learned that when I was taking birthing classes. One of the things to do to calm your body, to keep your mind under control during childbirth, is to hum or moan in a low, low tone. And it for sure calms you down. It's like a built-in mechanism. It's like our bodies know what we need. Let's talk about the immune system. One of the best defenders we know comes from Optimal Health Systems, and it's called Defense. So it supplies your body with researched back ingredients, too stone to support your immune system and fight off illness. It also boosts the immune system, providing a potent dose of antibodies for a quick recovery and reduces the risk of viral infection. One of the things I love is that it increases the white blood cell count in your body almost immediately while filling your gut with healthy bacteria. This is one of those things I recommend to my clients to always have on hand. You can take it continuously through, quote, cold and flu season or when you're under a lot of stress, or just pop it in here and there if you feel like you're starting to come down with something. Take it for a day or two, maybe three, and then put it on pause. But it ultimately restores health to areas of your body that are affected by potentially unhealthy eating habits, like during the holidays, and also from overstressing. And it does it by using whole real food ingredients. You can go to optimalhealthsystems.com and use the code D times2, that's DX2, to get a great discount off your order. Okay, next one. Let's talk about sleep. We have talked about sleep. That's one of my favorites. Yes, I sleep every day. Wow. And it's something we look forward to every day. Yes, I do. Not everybody does. That's true. Some people dread going to sleep because they have insomnia or their mind just starts racing. But sleep is crucial. It is a true need. It is a true need. Your brain needs it to calm, your body needs it to heal, your spirit needs it to receive inspiration. I don't know about you, but I've received some inspirational things when I'm asleep. Your mental capacity will increase as you get better sleep. You can regulate your emotions better when you sleep. Your cortisol is levels are better. Your all of your hormone levels are better when you sleep. So good sleep affects all the areas of life. All the well, the areas that we're talking about physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. So some of my favorite sleep things are to have a quiet, to quiet my mind as much as possible. I will lay in my bed and think of five things, at least five things that I'm grateful for before I go to sleep. And that does a lot of things for your brain. And all the areas we're talking about. Well, because they all each affects the other. So to do a a little gratitude practice before I go to sleep makes a big difference for all of those areas of my life. What's something that you like to do before you go to bed? Breathe. Breathe. I like to lay flat in bed. Actually, I don't do it very often, but I love to put like a cold pack under my upper back. Oh, that's because that settles my body down too, and I'll just fall asleep with it there. But I'll lay on my back, I'll get real neutral, and I'll just take some deep, slow breaths. I sometimes I don't realize I do it, but I sometimes kind of hum the breath out. My body, like it just happens. But I'm doing deep breaths because it settles everything down. And I try to breathe out a little longer than I breathe in. So Wim Hof, we've talked about him a few times. Yes. He just um I think he did an interview I saw with him a couple weeks ago about humming. If you want to do this, you let your sleeping partner know what you're doing, or have them join you for a good night's sleep for both of you. But if you you can hum for a minute and you can breathe in between if you want, but take a nice deep full breath in and hum slowly. So like one solid exhale hum. Yes. Gotcha for a minute. Yes, if you you have to work up to that. But he said if you need to breathe, you know, obviously breathe, but make that air come out super slow and hum a deep hum. I said everything. It it does. I was having a hard time. And I was I was so tired. And my mind was just going. And so I thought, you know what, I'm just gonna try that. And I tell you what, I did it twice. Oh. And I felt my entire body just relax instead, and my mind was calmer, and I got to sleep way better. So that one's a really good one. I want to give a little analogy. Okay. Because you said you were so tired, but your brain was busy. That's kind of the definition of wired but tired. It and it's like in a car. Your gas pedal is stuck down, there's a brick holding it down, and you can't apply the brake. The deep breath, the deep exhale, obviously here he's talking about including the hum, but that forces the breakdown and removes the brick from the gas pedal. It really is amazing. Yeah. Breath work. But that helps me get that is something you can do to try to get to sleep if you're having a hard time quieting yourself down. We gave a whole bunch of resources too in our sleep episode. Yeah. So we don't need to go over. Go back to that one, but yeah. But I want to just emphasize that your quality of sleep affects your spiritual, physical, and mental emotional aspects of your life. So get good sleep. That is a definite need in your life. So when you say physical, part of that includes the chemical. It affects your blood sugar, it affects the structure, but also the chemical. So those are combined together under physical. Every time we reference physical in this episode. Yes, the physical is your muscles, your nervous system, your blood, your hormones, your brain, all of your things in your whole corporal body. Yes, just to be clear. Thank you. Okay, let's talk about nutrition. Oh. Speaking of body chemistry, yes. So we've been talking, we there are several episodes we've done on proteins, fats, and carbohydrates, which are what we consume. And we know how that affects us physically. It can make us fat, make us feel like crap, or we can feel fantastic if we're eating well. Energized. Yep. But nutrition is more than just the things that we consume. It's the water we drink, it's the air we breathe, it's the thoughts we think, and it's our relationship with God and others. Yes, to all of the above. Yes. Deborah, what are some things that you do for your mental, emotional quote-unquote, nutrition? I literally consume good things. I listen to good music, I read good books, I good, I'm gonna say good books of the world, and then good spiritual books. I read the scriptures, I read just yesterday, I was actually re-reading through some hymns while I was sitting in church. What was being preached over the pulpit wasn't resonating, so I found my own message in the songbook. And I was reading through those messages. So it's about to me, mostly it's those things to me. Music really affects me a lot, whether I'm reading it or listening to it, and then reading good messages, whether it's a talk or a quote or a book or a class, like whatever, just good uplifting, like soul-building positive messages. It's not the news. Definitely not the news. Absolutely not that. That's junk food. Yeah, it's not social media. Junk food. Yes. For your mental emotional thoughts. Yes. Good. I like those, those are great. I do the same thing. I've been paying attention the last year about the kind of music I listen to. And when I work out, I like to have some good music with a good beat. And I've been paying attention to the lyrics of the music, and I decided I didn't really like some of them. Oh, uh-huh. So I found some music that's just beats, and it's not heavy, hard, nasty, soul grading beats. They're just upbeat tempos that I can listen to. And I have enjoyed working out a lot more. Because I'm not worried about what's I don't like listening to music that is so contrary to the things that I believe. Yeah, whether you're focused on the words or not, your your spirit is receiving them, your subconscious is receiving it. And thinking that it's okay. Yes. So, and music affects you on more than just more than just your ears. It affects you at a cellular level. All the cells in your body will resonate with the type of music that you're listening to. I remember in the 90s there was a study done. Maybe it was the 80s. I was in sixth grade, so back in the olden days. Had to be the 80s. There was a study done, and they played, they got cells, put them in a petri dish, and they played different types of music and watched the reaction of the cells. Yes. Do you remember that? Yes. I actually did a science experiment in sixth grade about it, about how it affected people when they were doing math problems. I played some Van Halen and I played some classical music and confirmed what the study said. Like they've performed better with the classical music than with Van Halen. Anyways, so the kind of music you listen to doesn't it affects you very deeply. So you can change water structure the same way. Like you can watch microscopic water structure or salt structure change by the frequency that's being emitted through music. So here's your plug to to evaluate your music you're listening to. Because we're so much water. Our bodies are so much water. Yes, they are. And we're all cells. Cells and water. And if both can be changed by music, it matters. It does. Yeah. Music can also, let's go to the spiritual side of that. Music can make your spirit feel good and uplifted, and it can also depress your spirit. So kind of the same thing. I was talking about the two types of music I tried with my sixth grade science experiment. So classical music, like it was all written in what, the 1800s, 1700s. Well, there's still classical music being written now. We're just not as familiar with it. True. I guess the classical music I'm referencing is Brahms and Mozart and Like all of those things. Chopin. Chopin. Yes. So like it's it's been around for as long as it has because it is true good music. Like you were talking about with your concert. Nathan Pacheco. I say Pacheco, he says Pacheco. It's up, it's soul uplifting. Yes. So if you're feeling down spiritually, like put some good music on. There's plenty of good gospel typing music. That was an upbeat tune that you can listen to. But there's there's pop music, there's orchestral music, there's like I told you many episodes ago, I talked about one of the songs I listened to every morning for many years by U2 called It's a It's a Beautiful Day.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
Debra:It's upbeat. The words are uplifting. Total pop song, like mainstream music, but good message, good music. Yeah, there are there are a lot of songs, not just gospel. So choose your choose your music genre. Find something good. Okay, so nutrition, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, what we eat, what we take in, in all of the aspects of our life. Perfect. Okay, the last one I want to talk about it that affects the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of our life is the friends slash social part of our wheel. Do you think, Deborah, that our friend and social group affects us physically? I know it does. Because friends will either build you up or tear you down. There is no staying still. So it matters who your friends are and the quality of friends you have. I don't think it matters as much how many there are. Uh Dr. Mark Hyman shared something recently. He says, research research shows we only need three to five close friends to have a happy social life. I think that that's true. We've got that all in I don't want to say self-help circles, but kind of self-help circles, like you're the sum total of the five people you spend the most time with, right? You only need three to five close friends for a healthy, happy social life. And he also says your nervous system doesn't crave popularity, it craves safety. I yes, I I know, I preach into the quiet. Yeah, I agree. So safety, resonance, and connection. And you can have a lot of friends, but there's not a chance you can feel super connected to all of them. I would rather have true connection with a few people than surface connection. I mean, I we all have surface connection with a lot of people, but I don't consider those a lot of people my friends. They're acquaintances.
unknown:Yeah.
Debra:They're part of my community, my social circle, but they're not my inner circle. How's that? I like that. Yeah. The inner circle. Yeah. We call that the circle of trust in our house. And the circle is small. Yeah. But you really only need three to five really close associations for your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health. I think for your mental emotional, I I think if we're when I've looked at my friends, and I have a I have good friends. Yeah. Sometimes I feel like I don't have enough friends and maybe there's something wrong with me that my social circle is not very big. Oh, don't compare. Why are you comparing? A little bit, but but I learned that that I don't need to do that. You don't. Like the people that I allow that close to me are very few, three to five people that I have really good relationships with that we can get together and have good, true, deep conversations that actually matter instead of, hey, what about this weather? The surface stuff. Yeah. When we stress about how many friends we may not have, it doesn't do anything good for our mental and emotional stress and can cause depression and anxiety and loneliness. So I just I said don't compare a minute ago when you started to say that because I think that's where a lot of that comes from.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
Debra:Is from people either seeing or assuming that other people have so many more friends, and there are different personality types, and some people are going to have more friends, but not the inner circle friends. And that's the only part that truly matters. So my daughter-in-law, one of my daughters-in-law, is like that. She is very social. She has lots of friends, a few really close friends. Yeah. So that's the mental emotional part of that. The spiritual aspect, I think you have been a good example of that to me. I have been. Yeah. How so? Because you're careful who you light in your circle. I am very careful. And I've watched you with your friends since I'm so much younger than you. Those four years, man, and they make a difference. It's four years, but it was five years in school. Oh, because I was so much ahead. You were. Yeah. Sorry, I couldn't resist. So she was five years ahead of me in school, and so I got to watch her with her friends. And some of those friends in high school were were good friends. Yeah. And some of them were not. And I watched you shed the ones that were not. Yeah. And it I think it helped you in your high school life, which when friends are super important to be more level, to be happier. Yes. And then I've watched you sense like your your college roommates and tight. Yeah. With a few of them. Mm-hmm. So your circle is is is tight. And I I've watched that the spiritual aspect of that with you, because that's kind of where my eyes go. Oh uh that you uh didn't let them drag you down, your standards down, your morale down, your belief in Jesus Christ down. You if you didn't let them and if you did. Can I just short lived and speak on a specific example of that? Of course. So for one, I didn't know you were watching this. Okay. You never know who's watching. But I will never forget like one of the most distinct embodiments of this thing that you're talking about happened to me early in college. So I had had this core group of friends in high school, and we had very similar beliefs. We all went to different colleges. And I got together with one of them after one semester into college, and she was a different person. Her core values had completely shifted, and she was no longer for me. I still loved her as a person, but we were on completely opposite planes, and I shed her as a friend. As a tight friend. Yes, as a tight friend. Yeah, she wasn't born around the circle of trust. But also like she felt it too. Like we weren't in the same place. We had both grown in different directions and we didn't suit each other like we used to. I think that's a good example because you can feel it. Yeah. Let's talk about colostrum. It is a hot topic in the world these days. We're gonna talk about Equip Foods core colostrum. Each scoop contains three grams of grass-fed, pasture-raised, antibiotic-free colostrum, where most on the market only contain one gram. Colostrum is a nutritional powerhouse that has been shown and proven to enhance immune function, gut health, and recovery with vital nutrients. So what exactly is it? Colostrum, also known as first milk, is produced immediately following a newborn birth. It is vital nutrition, providing all the nutrients and fluid a newborn needs in their early days. It also applies to all people. We all need that nutrition. Equip foods core colostrum is a type A1 and A2 milk, which is the highest tier milk you can get. Also, while chloricolostrum is a dairy product, it does not contain milk or lactose. So most people with lactose intolerance usually find colostrum very digestible and beneficial to get health. Now I know you're wondering how you use it. It's so easy. You just need one scoop per day and you can add it into tea or coffee, you can add it to a protein shake or to yogurt, or you can even add it into your favorite baked goods. It's also cost-effective. So it's core colostrum is about 51 cents per serving compared to 91 cents per serving or more on for competitors. So if you go to equipfoods.com and use the promo code D times2 or DX2, you'll get a great discount. So you've talked before about we have friends for a reason, friends for a season, or friends for a lifetime. We need all three. So it's okay sometimes if it shifts like that. Perfectly fine. Yeah. We talked about the mental emotional aspect and spiritual aspect and the physical. Well, I want to circle back to the physical just a minute, because our social circles can drain us of energy if we are trying to be too social. Oh, tell me about it. So this is Deborah when she goes to the grocery store. If she walks in and there are too many people, she will walk out and go online and order her grocery store. Oh, it will. It absolutely drains me. I've never heard that before, but it explains some people in my life and how they view going shopping. So it really is just physically draining, mentally, emotionally draining if you're around too many people. And go ahead. So I want to just like I will give a real life example of that. Okay. At Thanksgiving, I took, I was such a good grandma. And I offered to take my two oldest granddaughters shopping wherever they wanted to go on Black Friday to pick out their Christmas present from grandma and grandpa from me and my husband. And they wanted to go to the mall. And if you know me at all, like I don't want to go to the mall. I don't want to go to the mall on Black Friday. She doesn't want to go to the mall. But I went because I was being good grandma and we spent hours there. And three days later, I was as sick as I've been in a long time, and I was flat down for two full days. And I'm convinced it's because I got so like my soul got drained just from being in that environment that I don't thrive on. Some people thrive on it, it fills them up. It absolutely drained me. But I was such a good grandma. And they will remember that trip. They will. And not the sick part. So I took I took one for the team, but I ended up taking one. Yeah. Yeah. Things that affect you physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, like the same things affect you in all those areas. One affects the other. Everything affects everything. Everything affects everything. The reason I wanted to do this episode back to the beginning. Wants versus needs. There are things that we need. And we should seek those things in an appropriate balance and level. And our wants we need to evaluate and see how they are serving us and get rid of them if they're not. Because there can be very good wants. There are good, better, and best. So choose the best. Yeah. That's that's our that's my advice. That's my counsel for today. Choose the best. You always like to go deep. Ah, yes. Thank you. Yes. Well, like conversations with good friends. I don't want to waste time. Like, I don't want to waste our listeners' time talking about fluff. Like this is your life and you get to design it. So make sure your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health are good. Like you are in good health in those areas. Meet those needs. Meet those needs because they all affect each other. Awesome. If you found anything in this episode useful or valuable, or it made you think of anybody, please, one, leave us a review, and two, share it with a friend or a couple of friends. We'd really like to help as many people as we can, and that's one of the best ways we can do it. If you have any questions or comments, you can message us. We are on all the social media platforms. We're on YouTube, like Pinterest, we're everywhere. Yes. So message us with a question. We'd be happy to answer it in the podcast because if you have that question, other people have that question. Yeah. And then remember that always in the at the bottom of the episode in the show notes, we have resources for you. We have some free downloads available that are tools you can use, tools that you can share. And then there are also discount codes for some of the things that we recommend or we've talked about. You can always access those codes down there and those links down there. Until next time, keep the wheel rolling smoothly. We'll see ya. Bye. Thanks for listening to the D Times 2 podcast with Denise and Deborah. We hope you enjoyed today's episode. Be sure to subscribe and share it with someone who's ready to roll toward a more balanced life. Your support means the world to us. And just a quick note we're sharing our own experiences and ideas, not professional advice. Always do your own research and talk to a qualified expert before making big decisions. Until next time, keep your wheel rolling strong.