Big Rocks First

We answer a listener question about why a perfect habit tracker day can still feel awful, and we reframe success as a realistic “solid B” that changes with your season of life. We use Stephen R Covey’s big rocks metaphor to show how to protect what matters most before distractions and busywork take over.

• redefining 100% so it matches real life 
• building a realistic habit tracker that reduces stress 
• putting big rocks first and letting smaller tasks fill gaps 
• examples of non-negotiables like sleep, food, sunlight, relationships 
• using the Wheel of Life to choose priorities on purpose 
• questions that uncover core values and meaningful goals 
• simple tests for what deserves your time and energy 
• naming your big rocks so they do not get buried 

If you found anything useful or helpful in this episode, make sure you share it with somebody because we all need help figuring out what's important in our life. 

Transcript

Welcome And Wheel Of Life

Debra 0:04

Welcome to the D Times 2 podcast, hosted by Sisters Denise and Deborah. We are all about finding balance in the various parts of life. Using the Wheel of Life as our guide, we explore how to keep each spoke rolling smoothly. We discuss health and wellness, education and spirituality, as well as mental and emotional growth. Join us for real conversations, practical tips, and a few laughs as we share stories, insights, and strategies to help you create a life that feels balanced, purposeful, and designed by you.

Vacation Sweatshirt Banter

Debra 0:37

Hi Deb. Hi Denise. It's good to see you today. It's nice to see you as well. I I really like that color shirt on you. Thank you. She's wearing like a turquoisey blue sweatshirt. Aqua, thank you. I'm the water lady, so it's aqua. It's really good color on you. Thank you. Yeah. It's kind of bright. I like what it says because it reminds me of being on vacation. Yeah, it says Key West, Florida. Lucky duck. And it's a sweatshirt. Because I was freezing in Key West. On the bus. Oh, on the bus. And we had to ride the bus back to Miami. And so I said, I'm getting a sweatshirt. Well, I'm in Key West. And you can wear it all the time at home. Yep. I knew I could. Okay, so today we're not going to tell a story, even though we just told a really short story.

Habit Tracker Perfection Trap

Debra 1:27

Sorry. We're going to answer a question. Yes, a question came to me recently or us recently that was, I think, really good because it ties in with our concept of the will of life. She has put together a habit tracker based on the things she wants to do to improve in her life. And she said, the other day I got 100% on my habit tracker. And it made me feel like a failure because it was only one day that I actually got everything done. And I thought, we need to talk about this because we all have the very best of intentions. And in a day, there are probably 50,000 or so different things we could do. But we can only do what we can do. And every day that's different. Every day it's different. Every person it's different. Every life situation or season, it's different. So put together a realistic habit tracker for you. And then do the big rocks first. Mm-hmm. Yes. That's what we're going to talk about today. We are. Is big rocks. I I want to talk about that 100% thing. So we're not looking for perfection for 100%. Because every day that 100% is different. But some days are super busy, and your 100% is going to be five things on your habit tracker. I forgot one piece of it. She was trying to get through most of the habit tracker in the morning before her kids woke up. Was she waking up at 4 a.m.? I didn't ask her the time, but I said even the best people spread their things out throughout the day. And one day you might be able to do it all in the morning, but tomorrow morning might look different, and you might need to do some in the afternoon or in the evening. There's not a best time. The best time is done. The best time when you can do it. So every day is going to look different. Our hundred percents will look different on different days. And even if you don't hit all of your points on quote unquote habit tracker, you can still have a hundred percent day. Oh, yes. Well said. So be careful how we're measuring things. And it does go into what we're gonna talk about today, which is big rocks. Oh, one other thing I wanted to say. We're not looking for 100%. We're looking for a solid B. I was gonna say, Dad always says, just get a B. It goes against my nature because I like to get 100%. But a B is a passing grade, it's enough and it won't overwhelm or stress or overtax you in any way. Right. Right. It's not perfection. It's good enough. Good enough. Yeah.

Big Rocks First Explained

Debra 4:20

So big rocks. Some of you have heard of that concept. It was introduced by, as far as I know, by Stephen R. Covey. And he wrote a book, Seven Habits of Highly Productive People. Highly effective, sorry, highly effective people. And it's still a bestseller and very appropriate in your life. You follow those concepts in there and it will help you have a good productive life, right? So the concept of big rocks is this if you have think of a big jar that you could put put rocks in, and you just start putting stuff in there. You have big rocks and little rocks and medium-sized rocks and sand, and you just start putting stuff in there. And by the time it's full, there's empty space. Because you can't you didn't fit it in all appropriately. Okay. So some of us live our lives like that. We just kind of do some of this and some of that, and whatever gets done gets done. Right? Yep. So the concept of the big rocks first is you have important things in your life that you want or need to do. Let's take this gal, for example. She wanted to do all of these things before her kids got up, right? And I'll say some of the things that I use I like to do in my day. I like to I want to exercise, I want to have a good breakfast, I want to go for a walk, I want to read my scriptures, I want to plan my day, I want to have a nap, I want to make a good dinner and spend quality time with my husband in a day. Sounds like you got zero kids at home. I do. When I had kids at home, my day was very different. It looks different. So for now in my life, that's what it looks like. And some of those things are more important to me than others. So I put those on my list first and make sure those get done in the day first.

SPEAKER_01 6:23

What are some of your rocks?

Debra 6:27

Some of you are most important. Some people call them non-negotiables. Yeah. Even non-negotiables are negotiable. They are. It depends on something. So one of my biggest things, especially right now, is getting good sleep. Sleep matters a lot for me. So I plan a lot of stuff around when I'm going to sleep and when I'm waking up in the morning. So my night of sleep. And I will make sure I get enough hours. So even like last night, I was in bed for all those hours, but I was awake during the night for about three hours straight, which is very frustrating to me. But I stayed in bed and acted as if I was asleep. And because of that, my scale for today or my list for today, my top priorities for today, immediately a nap was pretty high on that list because I need to make up some of that ground so that I don't crash and burn. So you're recovering some for some things and saying that sleep is super important. So it's super important. And for everybody, that's really important. But for me, I know I heal, I recover best if I just will give myself the time to sleep. So that I also prioritize a healthy, good, solid breakfast. Check did that. I also prioritize getting outside. Whether I'm going outside to do something in the yard, or I'm going and sitting in the sun and reading, or I'm taking a walk, getting outside in some way for at least 10 minutes. I want that sunshine in my eyes and on my skin. And then for me today, one of my top priorities is having a nice dinner with my husband. We haven't been able to for a little while. Today we can. We're gonna make the most of it. There's gonna be steak involved. It may sound really stupid simple. There are other things on my list too, but those are my top priorities, my non-negotiables for today. This this recording session was also on that list. Yeah. It could have been negotiated though. It could have.

unknown 8:44

Yeah.

Debra 8:45

Especially you're not feeling well. I thought about it, but we're fine. Yeah.

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Debra 8:51

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Filling The Jar With Priorities

Debra 10:31

So let's take that same jar. And talk and we've talked about some things that are important to do, non-negotiables or high priority items. And those high priority items can be different from day to day. Yes. Right? Sometimes there are things that have deadlines and have to be done. So we're going to put those big things in the jar first. Yes. Big rocks first. In the jar first thing. To me, the big rocks are also A or one. So I an A, B, C category or a one, two, three category. Yeah. And that that doesn't mean that they have to be done first thing in the day. It just means you have to hit them that day. Right? So you're planning when during the day you're going to do them. Those are your big things, your important things, your non-negotiable or deadline things. And then you can put some smaller rocks in around there. So you have big rocks in, and then we're going to do some smaller rocks. Like to do or should do. Mm-hmm. And that could be reading for enjoyment, right? For you that's important. For some people, it's a smaller rock. It's not as important, but it's nice to do. So we're going to put some of those little less important but still like-to-do things. And then we're going to put some teeny tiny sand-like rocks in the jar. And as you pour it in the jar, you can see it filling in holes and gaps in the big and medium right medium-sized rocks. And those are things that are just kind of fun to do. You don't have to do them. Or it'd be nice to get them done. Like for me, I'm doing some spring cleaning. I'd like to get through a couple boxes. It is not a type like a big rock priority. It'd be nice to get a box or two done. Nice to do. Yep. So you would think that maybe by now your jar is full, but it's not. You can pour some water in that jar. And that water will find all the cro crooks and crannies that are not full. And those are more superfluous things. That's that could be scrolling on Instagram. I like to do that. I also like to play a couple of games on my phone for a brain checkout session. Yeah. So things that are just kind of mindless. There's a couple shows I like to watch that are like that. But I'm not gonna go watch the show unless the other stuff is done. Yeah. Very, very low priority things. Yeah. So now you've put your big rocks in, your smaller rocks, your sand, and your water, and now your jar is actually full and everything fit. Yeah. Whereas if you start doing it helter skelter, there's everything trying to fit, but it's not gonna. No, like if you put the water in the things that are not necessary, maybe not necessary in your life. Put the water, fill it full of water first. There's not room for anything else. You put a rock in there and it's gonna overflow. So put your most important things on your list first. Schedule them, plan them, put them on your calendar. Say it out loud to yourself that you're gonna do it. Make your checklist, your tracking sheet, whatever you want to do, but have it prioritized with what really matters, what would be nice, and then the fluff, the superfluous, as Denise says.

Questions To Find Your Big Rocks

Debra 14:06

So if you're having a hard time picturing what your big rocks might look like, we have a few suggestions for you. You can write down what you want in your life right now. What do you want out of your life? So, what are your highest priorities? Is it helped? Is it family? Is it faith? Is it meaningful work or a big life goal that you have? Things that would deeply affect your life if they were neglected. Yeah. So what do you want right now in those areas? Like the wheel of life, right? Use that wheel of life. The whole point. The whole point. You can also ask what you want in your life in the next 12 months. Or the next six months. Yep. Or next month. Like plan it out. What do you really want? And then write down some things to do that will get you to that place. Once you write them out, pick the top few. Three, four, maybe five that feel like they're the non-negotiables for getting you to that.

SPEAKER_02 15:12

Yeah. So those become those are your big rocks. And it it can be in one area of life or a couple of areas of life.

Debra 15:22

Yeah. So there's some good questions to ask yourself. One is what gives my life the most meaning? That's a good question. Yep. That's not that's not a 30-second question. No. To find out what really matters in your life and what those big rocks are is going to take some thought. So don't think about getting a an answer or solving this issue in 30 seconds. It really comes down to identifying your identifying your true core values. Yeah. And the direction you want to go. Do you know what that direction is? Because if you don't, your jar is going to be overflowing with water and no room for any of the important things in your life. Yeah. Right? So take some time and think about it.

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Debra 16:10

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Values Regret And Time Tests

Debra 17:06

You'll love it. Part of our wheel of life concept is designing your life on purpose. It's not about hitting all of the hitting all the boxes and checking them all off. It's what are the most important things in your life. And in each of the areas. Yeah. Something else you can ask is what would you regret neglecting? So if you didn't do something today or tomorrow or in the next week, what would you regret neglecting that thing? Think about that. I'm thinking about that. I can see that you are. If you didn't do something, would you regret it? I know there are some things that are on my list that I will absolutely regret if I don't do it. I will be very hard on myself if I regret. And I don't like to be hard on myself. That's so good. Yeah. So those will be high priorities, big rocks for me. Another way to think of that is what really actually is deserving of your time and your attention and your energy. Not everything deserves it. No. And you can't get that time or energy back. Right. So are you doing things in your day, week, life that deserve your time and energy?

SPEAKER_01 18:33

That's a really good question.

Debra 18:36

I think if we evaluated that, we would find we should do spend more time and energy with people that we love. I was gonna say it's usually not being caught up in the drama. No, we did a whole episode on drama. We did. Drama Llama. So look for what you can say no to so that your true top priorities stay protected. Yeah. You can also think about what goals, what things will move your life forward the most. You can use things in your day as a like a lever. Little effort makes a big difference. Yeah. So find things that will make the most difference, move the needle the most in the things that are high on your priority list. We did an episode about that too, about SMART goals. So those goals should be like you've already done some of this groundwork. Yeah. Should have some of it laid. Another way to think of it is a push goal. What will push your life forward, move your life forward? That's what's more important. But you can also kind of test your choices for what's on your list or what you consider your big rocks. You can test it with three three things. Number one, it aligns with your values. In order to know if it aligns with your values, you have to know what you value in your life.

SPEAKER_01 20:11

Yeah. Number two. If it has long-term importance in your life, then it matters.

Debra 20:23

Number three, I'm just gonna roll right into hang on, hang on. One of my sons used to say, if it doesn't matter, if it's not gonna matter in five minutes, five days, or five months, it doesn't matter. Oh yeah, I like that. There's so much that we can get hung up on. Yeah. That's just minutia. Yeah. It doesn't it's truly truly water. It doesn't move anything forward. Nope. Yeah. So if it has long-term importance, it can be part of your big rocks. Another way to t to test if your choice in your big rock is good, is that it can get scheduled before smaller tasks. Uh really, if if this thing that you're doing disappeared from your life, the big rock, if it disappeared, you would feel a real loss. Like you said, Deborah, there are some things that you would regret. Right? Yeah. So if you would regret not doing it in that day.

SPEAKER_02 21:26

Like if you regret it in five years.

Debra 21:30

Yeah, it's a big rock. Yeah. So those are just ways to test if it is a big rock or not.

SPEAKER_02 21:36

Yeah. And it looks different for everybody. You're gonna have to take some time and think about it.

Debra 21:42

Right. Right. So for one person it might be big rocks might be their their sleep, their exercise, their family dinners, like literally some of the things I just mentioned. Or it could be like a big key work project. That can definitely be a big rock. Yeah. So you can have big rocks in different areas of your life, right? But for other people it might be caregiving or prayer or writing a book or financial planning.

SPEAKER_01 22:14

Those are all valid big rocks. It's just individualized to you. Yeah.

Debra 22:22

So think about it really does take some thinking. Like this gal you said, she made her own habit tracker. Right. And everything on the list is great. So she had to spend some time and think about the habits that she wanted to have in her life. Yes. So take some time to think about. And the place to start is what you value.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

If if you didn't do it, would you would you regret it?

SPEAKER_02 22:48

Yeah. Would you miss out on it?

Debra 22:50

So a practical rule is if you can't clearly name your big rock, it's not a big rock. And it's gonna get buried by the sand, by the smaller things.

SPEAKER_02 23:01

Oh yes.

Debra 23:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:03

So pre You can pretend it's a pet rock and give it a name.

Debra 23:08

You don't have to put googly eyes on it or paint it a color, but give the rock a name. Identify yeah, clearly identify it. If you can't do that, then it's just out there in the ether and not really very important. That saying, name it to claim it. Yeah.

unknown 23:23

Yeah.

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Debra 23:26

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Seasons Change So Do Priorities

Debra 24:20

But remember too, it's gonna be super individualized. Your big rocks are different than my big rocks. Your water is different than my water. It's just going through the process and having your priorities named, identified, and I'm gonna say classified. Big, middle, small, sand, water. Yes. And it's okay to do that. And it's okay if sometimes they switch places. Like you can't. I think they will switch places. You can't have all big rocks. No. Not everything is super important in your life.

SPEAKER_02 24:53

Right. There are things that are less important.

SPEAKER_01 24:56

You it's important to in to like we've said name the big things. A work project is a big rock. Family time is a big rock. Writing a book is a big rock. Exercising is a big rock.

Debra 25:15

But sometimes you have to shift them around. Yep. It might not be the time to write a book. Right. Or there may be less family time right now because the kids are gone. But the quality of the time that you spend with them is still big. Yeah.

unknown 25:33

Yeah.

Debra 25:33

So take some time, evaluate your life. Use the wheel of life to help you identify what things are important in those areas and which one needs a little bit more help that you can increase the size of your rocks to make your wheel or to make your spoke stronger and your wheel more round. So I'm also going to just point people back to episode number four, where we talk about the wheel of life and explain what it is. So if that's a foreign concept to you, we have a downloadable free worksheet, the whole thing. But episode four walks you all through that. Yeah. Give it a listen. Yeah. And then find your big rocks. Do those first. Yeah. But it's okay to have some smaller rocks and some water and some sand. For sure. Because we need that that gives you a B. Gives you variety in life. It has you not be so focused and intense all the time. Yeah. All right. So that was short, sweet, and quick, but I think we hit all of the the main points. All the main points. Yeah. You can always check out that book if you want. The seven habits of highly effective people. Yep. And they also have one for teenagers, seven habits of highly effective teenagers. If your teen needs some help figuring out direction in life. So check them out. We don't have a link for you, sorry. Amazon does or Barnes and Noble does or the library. Yeah, they're everywhere. Yeah, you can borrow for free from the library.

Worksheet Links Sharing And Listener Questions

Debra 27:02

So if you found anything useful or helpful in this episode, make sure you share it with somebody because we all need help figuring out what's important in our life. Yeah. And remember that we do have those resources for you, like the Wheel of Life worksheet, as well as discount codes, things that we recommend on our website, which is dtimes2podcast.com. That's dx2podcast.com. And some of them are linked in our show notes. Yeah, the Wheel of Life is linked and our website is linked. So go down there and check them out. And we're on the socials. So check us out on social media and interact with us. Yeah. Let us know what your big rocks are. Maybe you could help somebody find more clarity and direction in their life. And if you want to send us a question that we might answer in one of our episodes, that's a great way to send us a question. You can be featured. Featured on our podcast. Yeah. We won't say your name. Yeah, we won't name names now. And I think that's it. Yeah, until next time, keep your wheel rolling smooth. Bye. Thanks for listening to the D-Times 2 podcast with Denise and Deborah. We hope you enjoyed today's episode. Be sure to subscribe and share it with someone who's ready to roll toward a more balanced life. Your support means the world to us. And just a quick note we're sharing our own experiences and ideas, not professional advice. Always do your own research and talk to a qualified expert before making big decisions. Until next time, keep your wheel rolling strong.