Check Your Heart First

Judgment isn’t just about what you see in others—it may be connected to what hasn’t healed within you.

In this episode, Kathryn Brown explores the biblical call to examine yourself first, uncovering how healing, forgiveness, and self-awareness lead to true freedom and wholeness.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to the Letting Go Living Free podcast where healing meets truth and broken places are restored through the power of God's love. I'm your host, Catherine Brown, and today's episode was inspired by a powerful Bible study lesson from my pastor a few weeks ago that didn't just challenge my thinking, it challenged my heart and pushed me deeper into my own healing journey. We're talking about the danger of judging others, what it really means to examine ourselves first, and how Jesus calls us to remove the point from our own eye. But today, we're going deeper because sometimes judgment isn't just about what we see in others. It's connected to what hasn't healed within us. So this isn't just a message about correction, it's a message about healing, forgiveness, and becoming whole. Now, pull up your chair, grab your coffee, get your journal, and let's get started. Now let's go to the word. In Matthew 7, 3 through 5, Jesus asks a question that is both simple and deeply convicting. It says, Why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye? But do not consider the prank in your own. Now I want you to really picture that. A speck. A speck is small, almost unnoticeable. But a plank, that's a whole different story. That's large, obvious, heavy. And what Jesus is exposing is not just behavior. He's exposing perspective. Because somehow we become extremely sensitive to what's wrong with others and strangely blind to what's going on within ourselves. And Jesus calls that hypocrisy. Not because we struggle, not because we don't examine. And what's powerful is Jesus doesn't say ignore the speck. He says deal with your plank first so you can see clearly. Which means this is not about avoiding truth. It's about approaching the truth from a healed place. Now let's be honest for a moment. Judging others can feel very natural. It can even feel justified. Because sometimes people are wrong. Sometimes people do hurt us. And sometimes people do things we simply don't understand. And in those moments, judgment feels like clarity. But it's not always clarity. Sometimes it's unprocessed emotions with a voice. Judgment says, I would never do that. Judgment says, they should have known better. Judgment says, what's wrong with them? But scripture interrupts that mindset. You see, Romans 2 and 1 reminds us that when we judge others, we condemn ourselves because we operate in similar patterns but in different ways. And this is where it becomes dangerous because judgment hardens your heart, it blocks your growth and slowly distances you from God. Trust me, you can't stay humble and constantly sit in judgment at the same time. Now let's go deeper because this is where healing begins. Judgment doesn't just happen, it comes from somewhere. And many times judgment is rooted in unresolved places within us. We judge what once hurt us. Meaning, if you've been hurt in a certain way, you become sensitive to anything that feels similar. Not because the person is the same, but because the pain feels similar. We judge what we don't understand. Anything outside of our experience, our upbringing, our perspective can feel uncomfortable. And instead of seeking understanding, we form conclusions immediately. We judge what we secretly struggle with. Sometimes what irritates us is not foreign to us, it's very familiar. And instead of confronting it within, we criticize it when we see it. We judge what reminds us of who we used to be. And instead of celebrating growth, we become irritated by the reflection in the mirror. We judge from pain we haven't processed. Pain that hasn't been healed doesn't disappear. Trust me, it speaks. And sometimes it speaks through criticism. We judge based on limited information. We see a moment, but we don't know the story. We see behavior, but we don't see the wound behind it. And here's the truth. We often make permanent judgments based on temporary glimpses. Did you know that even psychology supports this thought? Studies show that when people are overwhelmed, stressed, or emotionally drained, they tend to become very critical or more critical. Not because they're bad, but because something within them is unsettled. There's even a term called projection, I'm sure you've heard it, where people see in others what they haven't dealt with in themselves. And isn't that exactly what Jesus was saying? Why focus on the speck and ignore the plank? Now I want to slow down right here because many times judgment is not about them. It's a mirror revealing something in us that still needs healing. This is why the Bible tells us, examine yourselves. We read that in 2 Corinthians 13 and 5. Not criticize others, not analyze everyone around you, but examine yourself. Because examination is not punishment, it's an invitation. An invitation into awareness. An invitation into healing. An invitation into wholeness. Because when you begin to examine yourself, you start asking deeper questions. Why did that bother me so much? Why did I respond so strongly? Why do I feel the need to judge instead of understand? And when you sit with those questions, you start discovering things. You start realizing some of my reactions are rooted in past experiences. Some of my responses are connected to old wounds. And some of my judgments are tied to areas where I still need healing. And here's the truth: unhealed wounds will always find a voice. But heal people, yeah, heal people, they respond very differently. They don't ignore truth, but they deliver it with love. They don't excuse behavior, but they lead with compassion. They don't feel the need to position themselves above others because they understand grace. There was a time in my own life when I found myself constantly frustrated with someone's behavior. Everything they did irritated me. I had an opinion about everything. But one day in prayer, God gently asked me, Why does this bother you so much? And I didn't like the answer that I gave. Because I realized it wasn't just them. There were areas in me that needed growth, grace, and healing too. And in that moment, God did not shame me. He invited me to become better. And that's what all this is about. Not guilt, but growth. What I realized was I wasn't just reacting to them. I was reacting from something in me that hadn't fully healed. Now, let's talk about how we actually walk this out. I want to share a few practical tools with you while you're on this journey. So let's talk about how to actually walk this out. Number one, identify the root. Don't just say they bother me. Ask why. Because your reaction is revealing something. Number two, invite God into it. Not just into their situation, but into your heart. Say, Lord, show me what you're trying to heal in me. Number three, practice forgiveness because sometimes you're not reacting to them, you're reacting to something you never let go of. Number four, choose empathy. Empathy slows judgment down. Instead of assuming, you begin to understand. Number five, commit to growth. Say, I'm not staying in a place where I'm constantly critical. Because God didn't call you to critique people, he called you to become whole. Now I want you to take a moment. Think about someone or something you're judging. Now ask yourself, what am I really feeling? Where have I felt this before? Is there something in me that still needs healing? Now say, Lord, heal the place in me that keeps reacting instead of resting. Before I end this podcast, I would love to pray for you. Father God, in Jesus' name, we come before you with humility and honesty. Lord, we don't just ask you to correct us, we ask you to heal us. Heal every place in us where judgment has taken root because of pain, disappointment, or unresolved hurt. Forgive us for the times we have been critical instead of compassionate, harsh instead of humble. Search us, O God, and reveal every area that still needs your touch. Teach us how to forgive, not just others, but even the experiences that shaped us. Remove every plank from our eyes, not just behaviorally, but emotionally and spiritually. Lord, make us whole so that when we see others, we don't respond from wounds, but from wisdom, from love and from grace. Transform our hearts, renew our minds, and let healing flow through every part of our lives. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen. Now, if this episode spoke to your heart, challenged you, or helped you to see yourself in a new way, I want you to share this with at least three people who are on a healing journey. Because healing is not just personal, it's contagious. Thank you so much for listening to the Letting Go Living Free podcast. Remember, this journey is not about just being perfect, it's about becoming whole. So keep healing, keep growing, and keep choosing freedom. I'll see you on the next episode.