Consumer's Guide to Mental Health

Small Habits, Big Impact: Supporting Children’s Mental Health Every Day with Keri Cooper

• The Juniper Center

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In this episode, Dr. Margo Jacquot of The Juniper Center sits down with Keri Cooper to explore how everyday habits can play a powerful role in shaping children’s mental health. From simple routines at home to the way we communicate and model emotional regulation, small, consistent actions can make a lasting difference in how children cope, connect, and grow. Together, they break down the foundational building blocks of mental wellness for kids and offer practical, approachable strategies that parents, caregivers, and educators can begin using right away. Whether you’re looking to better support a child in your life or simply want to understand how mental health develops from an early age, this episode provides insight, encouragement, and tools to help children thrive—one small habit at a time.

What You'll Learn:

  • Why small, everyday habits play a critical role in children’s mental health and development
  • The foundational building blocks of emotional well-being in kids
  • How routines, structure, and consistency support a child’s sense of safety and stability
  • Practical strategies to help children express their feelings and build resilience

Bio:

Keri Cooper, LCSW, is the owner of Keri Cooper Holistic Therapy in northern New Jersey. In her private practice, she counsels teens and works to give them the tools they need to navigate life. Keri takes a holistic approach to therapy, looking at the whole person, not just their symptoms. Keri is the author of Mental Health Uncensored: 10 Foundations Every Parent Needs To Know, a book designed to give parents steps on how to improve their child’s mental health. Her second book is a workbook for teens, Mental Health Uncensored: 10 Foundations Every Teen Needs To Know. She is a speaker and writer who helps educate teens and parents on the topics teens face in everyday life. She is a graduate of the University of Pennsylvania and continues to further her education by obtaining additional certifications in her field, one of her favorite pastimes! When Keri isn't busy working with teens, she is busy with her own four children and her flock of chickens. She can be reached at keri@kericooperholistictherapy.com and on Instagram at @kericooperholistictherapy.

Connect with Keri Cooper:

https://www.instagram.com/kericooperholistictherapy/

https://www.facebook.com/kericooperholistictherapy

https://www.linkedin.com/in/kericooper1/

Dr. Margo Jacquot is the award-winning founder and Chief Care Officer of The Juniper Center, one of the largest woman-owned counseling and therapy practices in the Chicago area. With over 20 years of experience, she specializes in trauma recovery, addiction treatment, and LGBTQ-affirming therapy. Dr. Jacquot is also the host of the "Mental Health Business Mentor" podcast, where she shares insights on running a successful mental health practice.

Connect with Dr. Margo Jacquot:

SPEAKER_00

Welcome to the Consumer's Guide to Mental Health. I'm your host, Dr. Margot Jaco. I'm a licensed clinical psychologist and have been in practice for, well, a few decades. During that time, I have come to see just how complicated the world of mental health and finding resources can be. So many different types of treatments, so many different types of insurance to navigate. This podcast will break that down for you. Understanding treatment options and navigating insurance to exploring resources and real-world strategies. Each episode gives you practical insights to support your mental well-being. Let's get started. Hi everyone. So glad you could join us today. Thanks for being here. This podcast, The Consumer's Guide to Mental Health, is a podcast geared for you. It's for your needs. What do you need to know about mental health? What do you need to know about mental health for yourself, for your family? If you have children today, this is going to be about mental health and kids. So this is the place to be if you want to find out more about how to help your children, if they're struggling, if they need to find someone, if they need some mental health assistance from you, from a therapist, from the school, wherever you are with your kids, this would be the place to be. So that's what we're going to talk about today. I can certainly tell you, and parents out there, you know this. If you have children, I have children, they're now grown, but they were kids during the pandemic. That was a real thing. And my practice, which is in Illinois, had a pretty small number of therapists who worked with kids. Well, we now have probably a third of our team, and we're a good sized team, works with children, and we've expanded our space. There's just a real need. I think there's an understanding that children need help. They need attention. Their mental health matters. And more and more folks are able to speak to that need and serve that need. But today we have someone who I would consider to be an expert in this area. So let me tell you about our lovely guest, Carrie Cooper. Carrie Cooper is an LCSW, and if you're not familiar, that's a licensed clinical social worker. She's the owner of Carrie Cooper Holistic Therapy in northern New Jersey. We were just talking about weather because it snowed here today, middle of March in Chicago. But you know, I said I'm not going to say a word to anybody in on the East Coast about weather. But so you are in New Jersey. In her private practice, she counsels teens and works to give them the tools they need to navigate life. We all need that. Carrie takes a holistic approach to therapy, looking at the whole person, not just their symptoms. And folks, if that's a different term for you, we can certainly dig into that. But that's what holistic generally means. Carrie is the author of Mental Health Uncensored, 10 Foundations Every Parent Needs to Know, a book designed to give parents steps on how to improve their child's mental health. Her second book is a workbook for teens, Mental Health Uncensored, 10 Foundations Every Teen Needs to Know. That's so smart to have a workbook for teenagers to work through as well. She's a speaker and a writer who helps educate teens and parents on the topics teens face in everyday life. A graduate of the University of Pennsylvania and continue. She can let's do that again. She's a graduate of the University of Pennsylvania and continues to further her education by obtaining additional certifications in her field. One of her favorite pastimes. Wow, I'm impressed. I like that too. I think of psychology as both a hobby and my profession. So I'm glad you like it that much. When Carrie isn't busy working with teens, she's busy with her own four children, I bet, and her flock of chickens. Okay, see, I like you already. She can be reached at Carrie at Carrie Cooper, and that's K-E-R-I at K-E-R-I, C O O P E R, Holistic Therapy.com. We'll have that in the show notes and on Instagram at Carrie Cooper Holistic Therapy. So lovely to have you here today, Carrie. Thank you for joining us. Thank you so much for having me today. So chickens for kids and a practice. Okay. And you like getting all of your additional certifications. My kind of human. I love it. So tell me about from your perspective. I mean, I said a little bit about boy, it seems like after the pandemic, wow, the need for mental health services for kids really just boomed. And it's not like it's never been there, but it seems like it's increased. Just can you tell us a little bit about your perspective in terms of kids' mental health?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, boomed would be an understatement when we talk about the pandemic and these kids. And that's actually when I wrote these books. Because, you know, mental health for kids, it was already a busy place to be. And when the shutdown happened, and when these kids were now completely isolated at home, I mean, this is the time when they are supposed to be moving out of the home environment mentally, emotionally into a friend group. That, you know, if you think about us back in caveman time, like this is the time they're supposed to find people and start their lives, and all of that was taken away from them. So now here they are at home. The social aspect is key in that developmental time period, and they didn't have access to it. And then, of course, online schooling and all these other hurdles that we had to face, and everybody's at home, and that's a whole nother hurdle with sometimes parents not getting along or you know, tension in the house. It was a disaster. There's really no other way of saying it besides it was a disaster disaster. And even before the full shutdowns or when we were starting to back, you know, open back up, it was this constant questions. There was never a certainty. It was like, well, am I going to be able to go to school tomorrow, or does somebody have COVID in my class is going to be shut down? You know, am I going to have a sports team or season or am I not? Like it was constant questions. So we I had so many parents calling me. I could not fit any more kids into my schedule. And every other therapist by me was the same way because we all were calling each other. Do you have space? Do you have space? And everyone's like, no, I can't get them in at all. So I said, I need to give parents something to do right now to try to help these kids' mental health. And it's the stuff I've been saying in therapy for years. It's the basic foundations. And in my book, five of them are more physical based and five of them are more mental based. But I say sometimes it's the simplest solutions that we just overlook. I get kids in my office all the time. And you know, the parents are like, well, they're so cranky and they're exploding and they have no emotional regulation. And then I always ask about sleep. And I'm like, well, how's your kid sleeping? And so when toddlers miss their nap and are outrageous in their behavior and melting down over, you know, nothing, we go, oh, they missed their nap. And everyone goes, Oh, yeah, you're right. Of course, that makes sense. When our teenagers come home from school and are melting down over nothing and can't control their emotions, we're like, oh, what is wrong with them? Meanwhile, most of our teens are completely and utterly sleep deprived. So I have an entire chapter in my book about sleep and in the workbook as well, because it's such a foundation. It's actually such a foundation, and I've learned in my career that so many parents aren't sleeping either, that I started a whole second business, which we won't even jump into, but I'm also a sleep coach for adults. So I have a whole second business, sleep solutions by Carrie, because people need to be sleeping. It's the foundation of all mental and physical health. Wow.

SPEAKER_00

Well, please come back and let's do an episode on that because I no menopause, perimenopause, postmenopausal. And, you know, parents aren't sleeping or they're just busy. So that's right. What a great foundational piece. And folks, I think the wisdom in that is profound. Sleep rules the world, and lack of sleep can certainly contribute to that dysregulation and kids going off and not being able to calm themselves. So excellent.

SPEAKER_01

Lack of sleep, but also sleep at odd times. So pandemic, you know, when we're talking about the pandemic, with all these online schooling, kids weren't waking up. Kids were literally staying up till like four or five in the morning and then like sleeping most of the day. Like I would log on to see somebody, and they're like covers over their head. And I'm like, are you still in bed? It's one o'clock in the afternoon. So it was so dysregulated. And when we have dysregulated sleep, our body knows it. And then our body can't produce any of those feel-good hormones. And all that happens when we sleep. So it's like this huge uphill battle. So that's just like one of the small physical pieces that I talk a lot about because I think as parents, sometimes we get so overwhelmed with so much information out there. And we're trying so many different ways of being a good parent. And it's like, hold on. Are the basic needs being met? And how do you help your child establish those? And the younger your child, the better, because you're able to get into those habits quicker.

SPEAKER_00

Right. Yeah, it's definitely easier if your kid is younger. So if you have a teenager, and that's your area of specialty as teenagers, do you have one or two suggestions for parents of how they can intervene with their kids? Because my gosh, I hear parents say this all the time: like, I can't get my kids to sleep. They're up all night and they're on games, and blah, blah, blah. You know, it's a lot, and they're they're trying, they're doing their best, but there's only so much you can do. It's not like you can take them and stick them in the bed.

SPEAKER_01

And so right. As a teenager, you can't sit next to their bed and be like, you're gonna go to sleep now, because that would be horrific. 16-year-old is like, um, right? How much friction is that gonna cause in your relationship? But we have rules in this house, you know, and rules change over time and they change with every child, but we have some rules in my house that just don't change at all. And one of them is that there are no electronics in that bedroom at night. None. We actually have all of our bedrooms are upstairs. There's a hallway upstairs, there's a table in that hallway, there is a multi-item charging port, and everyone's stuff goes there. That includes if your child does have Apple watches, laptops for school, all of that type of stuff. It all needs to come out. Not only is that rule so important for sleep, it's actually really important because you're helping your child avoid some awful situations that tend to occur at one and two in the morning. It is at that time your child is going to have conversations on the phone, online, that you don't probably want them having. I have too many teenagers in my office who are like, I was up all night because my friend was calling me and they're having a mental breakdown, and you know, I'm so worried about them, and I thought they maybe were gonna kill themselves or any of this stuff. Don't let your child be able to answer the phone.

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_01

Take them out of that position.

SPEAKER_00

Right. And to your point, the earlier we start with creating those habits, the better. So if a parent hasn't started with that and they're saying, all right, now my kid is 16 or they're 17 and they're not sleeping, and you know, ACTs are coming up and finals are coming up, you know, it's March now, but it's going to be coming. What can they do to help their teens start to sleep better if they haven't already established those rules? Right.

SPEAKER_01

It's never too late to establish rules. It's just harder. And what I always say is don't just put the rules out there out of anger one night. Instead, have a conversation with them. Hey, I've learned a lot about sleep. I've learned a lot about why it's so important. And I know having a device in the room causes disrupted sleep. So I know for myself, you have to lead by examples, parents. Like you just have to. And if for some reason there's a real reason why you can't leave your phone out of your room, you keep it far from your bed. You put it on do not disturb, and maybe only your kids can break through, you know, if you have kids out of the house. But there are ways, and it's important to have those conversations with your children that I know how important this is, that I'm doing it for myself. Because if it's really important, you need to be doing it for yourself as a parent. You can't expect your kids to be. I always love when I have parents in my office saying to me, Carrie, my kid needs to work out. They're just not moving their body, they're just not working out. And I said, I love working out. It's so good for your mental health. Yes. Are you working out? And the parents are like, No, I don't have time. I'm too busy. Listen, you cannot expect your child to engage in healthy habits if you're not doing them yourself.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly. So, parents, before you turn this off, this is some good wisdom. And Carrie, I have to say, what you're talking about is reflected in the research too. So, folks, this is not, this is this, it's a hard thing. It's like somebody says, I was recently told I have to stop drinking coffee. Like, are you nuts? Stop drinking coffee. Forget it. But, you know, I do already feel better. Sometimes there are things we have to do that don't feel so good, but there is a benefit for us and there's a benefit for our kids. There's all there's just reams of data now that just having a phone next to your bed versus across the room versus out of the room impacts the quality of our sleep and the quantity of our sleep.

SPEAKER_01

I have all that research, a lot of the research in my books. And if you're trying to deal with a 16-year-old, that's why I created the workbook because parents kept on saying to me, Okay, I love your book, but now I'm trying to bother my kid about you need to do this, you need to do that. I said, Don't just get them the workbook, put it in their room, don't ask about it. Because your child will go through the workbook on their own and learn for themselves. Right. That's everything that I'm trying to teach.

SPEAKER_00

And your other really good point is that as much as I don't want to always have to lead by example, I do. And as parents, we do. And we think you know, people who are listening to this podcast, you're good parents. You wouldn't be taking the time to listen to this. So, but yes, we have to lead by example. If you plug your phone in out in the hallway, they plug their phone in out in the hallway. We used to collect them at night. You know, again, my kids are grown, but you know, we collect them at night, and everybody's went in a basket and it just went away for the night, not as a punishment, but just as a way of making sure they got sleep. That's the key. This is not a punishment. Yeah, it's not a punishment. So, all right, so sleep is foundational. Parents leading by example is really helpful. And what other suggestions would you give parents who might have kids that are struggling with regulation?

SPEAKER_01

Um, I think one of the other big items that I talk about is what are your kids eating? And this goes back to the parents as well, because you are the ones that are bringing the food into the house. You are the ones who are establishing mealtime. And there's a ton of research about family dinners. The more often you do family dinner, the less likely your child is to do drugs, the higher their grades are gonna be. Do the family dinners. And one thing, again, when we talk about modeling, parents, you need to be eating what you're serving for dinner. I unfortunately I'm hearing way too many times of a parent making dinner and then they're not eating or they're sitting there and just eating like vegetables. This is not when we talk about eating disorders in kids, you're priming them up for it if this is what's happening. You all need to be eating the same food.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Oh, I love that. That's again, folks, I know these are these can be difficult. I know parents who make pizza, pasta, grilled cheese, mac and cheese every night for their kids, and then they'll have, you know, chicken and vegetables and whatever. And you know, this is what I always say.

SPEAKER_01

If your child can eat a chicken nugget, they can eat a chicken cutlet. If they can eat a chicken cutlet, they can then move on to eating a piece of grilled chicken. You work it through stages if your child's a really picky eater, but you also have to have realistic expectations. I have four children, they all have different taste buds. Without fail, I will make a meal and somebody is going to roll their eyes or go, yep. And your child is not gonna die if they don't eat dinner one night. But the moment we start getting all these accommodations for quote unquote kid food, which is also awful for them, that's not nutrients, you know, your gut is where your chemicals are made for your brain. So when we look at anxiety, when we look at depression, when we look at, you know, how these kids are focusing throughout a day, they need good gas in their gas tank. And if you're giving them just grilled cheese and chicken nuggets and that's it, they're not gonna have it.

SPEAKER_00

Right. That's it. And I get it, this is hard. This is top food. I'm French, and when I would make dinners, you know, my parents made very French food, and I made French food, you know, when the kids were little and they would eat a little bit of it, but boy, as soon as they could, they started to try to reject it. And I get it, it's we want our kids to eat, but I remember as a kid, you know, you either eat what's at the table or you're done. And that was it. I survived. I learned to eat things I didn't necessarily want to, but it was really good, healthy food. So again, it can be uncomfortable, it's hard. Our kids will complain, they won't be happy, but they will survive. And if they're hungry, they're gonna come out and they're gonna eat.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Yeah. I think parents are we I've been doing this for 25 years, and we've come to a point where parents are so afraid of their child being unhappy.

SPEAKER_00

Exactly, Carrie. Let's talk about that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, they are so nervous about their child being unhappy that they are bending over backwards to accommodate. But you're actually not helping your child at all. You really aren't. We all want our kids to be happy, but that doesn't mean that they can't tolerate some moments of being uncomfortable. They have to be able to learn to tolerate moments of being uncomfortable, or they will never grow and never try and never have that confidence to come into the their own.

SPEAKER_00

That that, folks, is great wisdom. That kids have to be able to learn to tolerate, to be uncomfortable. And I wanted my kids to do that while they still lived with me. I didn't want them having to launch out into the world and then have to figure out how to be uncomfortable, how to tolerate disappointment, how to tolerate discomfort of any kind. So this is a real opportunity just around meals. Yes. Excuse me, just around meals to give them the ability to see, first of all, I mean, it's just healthier for them, but also you don't like it, you're gonna be okay. You're upset.

SPEAKER_01

Right, you're gonna survive.

SPEAKER_00

You'll survive. Right. Why do you suppose it is that so many parents? You know, I love why questions too, who knows? But I think there's, you know, definitely some research, and clearly you've done research on this. Why are parents so concerned about their kids being happy? Now, as a parent, do I want my kids to be happy? Of course. But wow, that that can't be the underlying motivation for most things that I do.

SPEAKER_01

I think there's a lot of fear. I think that this has to do with social media too, with just things being in our face constantly. I think we're constantly hearing about really awful things with children, such as suicide. And I think there's such a fear that, oh my God, if they're not happy, they're gonna kill themselves. And listen, if you're worried about your child's safety, they need to be seeing a therapist, first of all. But you deciding what they should or should not eat for dinner is not going to be the nail, you know, anything that pushes them over the edge of that. But I think as parents, we're just so fearful of them being upset. We're so fearful of them being sad. And being sad is a normal part of life. Like you're gonna have moments where you're sad, you're gonna have more moments where you're disappointed. We need to be able to get through them and give them the resources and tools to do that. And sometimes it's just about learning to sit in it and know that feeling is gonna go away eventually.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, that's right. Exactly. And God forbid, and people do, kids do commit suicide, but it is exceptionally rare. And yes, I think they're less likely to do so if they have good internal regulation, good tools to manage. It's when kids don't learn how to do that, that they're more vulnerable from a mental health perspective. Folks, if you're just listening to this, Carrie's nodding her head. So I'm assuming you're saying yes, that's probably true.

SPEAKER_01

And the confidence, the confidence to know that they could face problems and that it's gonna be okay, that they can get through hard things. When we do everything for our children, which is a whole nother thing that's been happening, when we do everything for our children, they're not having the confidence that they can do it on their own and that they could face. Problems and figure it out. They need to be able to know they could figure things out. This is where a lot of their anxiety comes in. They're trying to think of 50 different things that can go wrong because they don't know how they're going to handle it when it happens. If they have the confidence, they'll know, okay, if something happens, I'll figure it out.

SPEAKER_00

Right. I'll figure it out. That's it. And that's right. When we're too worried about kids being happy, we don't necessarily give them the tools to struggle through and to be confident enough to figure it out. I love that. Well, Carrie, what if you had to give parents just like your top three best suggestions for how to help a child that's struggling with their mental health? And that's a huge question. I mean, give me the top three. And again, folks, please get Carrie's books. I mean, this is, I think this is great information for you. Get the workbook for yourself, get the workbook for your teenager, read it while your kids are young, if your children are younger, because boy, the earlier, it's like anything else. The earlier we start with these habits, the better. But if you could give our listeners the top three suggestions, what would you say?

SPEAKER_01

My first one is if you have a worry about your child's mental health, reach out to a therapist. It is never going to be a bad thing if you take your child to a therapist and they wind up not needing it. I'd much rather them not need it. And I listen, I get kids in my office where after a session, I look at the parents and I go, they don't need to be here. You know, it's fine. And the parents are like, oh, okay, great. But at least now the kid knows, oh, this is what therapy looks like. This was like fun. And I got to talk and it was good. So I always say to the kid, listen, do you feel like you need to be here? And if they're like, no, I'm like, okay, I don't either. But in the future, pop in. If you find something that you're struggling with, pop in. If you have that great first experience, they're so much more likely to say, you know what, I am struggling. Can I go see somebody? So don't wait if you think your child might need somebody. Just bring them in, just see what's going on.

SPEAKER_00

So that's an expert in pediatric mental health. Not every people will say, I'm sorry, don't you care? Yes. Children, adolescents, adults, couples, family, somebody who specializes in pediatric. Sorry to interrupt.

SPEAKER_01

So no, that was such such a good point because I have unfortunately had parents call me saying my kid really needs to see somebody, but they had an awful experience with a therapist. Teens are their own breed, they just are. And if a therapist says they do everything, then they do nothing well. You need somebody who's specializing. I don't touch marriage counseling. That's not my specialty. I don't touch eating disorders. That's not my specialty. There's a lot I won't touch. And a good therapist knows what they won't work with. Exactly. So find one that's actually working with teens or kids if you know you have younger age kids as well. So that's the first thing. Get them to a therapist. The second thing is, yeah, get them resources. Like my workbook is great. They learn the foundations. You can learn the foundations. Just look at what's happening in the home that maybe you could change to improve things. And it's the small stuff. It's maybe a family dinner on a Sunday night starting there. It's, you know, just small ways to how can you connect? How can you let your kid struggle a little bit more? How can you take that step back?

SPEAKER_00

Love that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

What can they be doing that you're doing for them right now?

SPEAKER_00

Love it. Right. What are you doing for them that they can do for themselves?

SPEAKER_01

My hint is probably laundry. Oh, that's a great place to start. Laundry is my favorite place to start. And I write a whole thing about it in the book as to why. It is my favorite place to start. Okay.

SPEAKER_00

Because it's something that they can tackle fairly easily.

SPEAKER_01

It's they can tackle it fairly easily. If they don't do their own laundry, it only impacts them. Right. It also teaches them time management. It also teaches them planning. Because oh, I came home from baseball practice today, my jersey's dirty, I have a game on Friday. Oh, but I practice tomorrow. When am I going to fit in laundry?

SPEAKER_00

Love it.

SPEAKER_01

It actually does so much more than just laundry. It is the best thing ever. And again, if your child doesn't do their own laundry, it's impacting no one but them. And do not save them and get that text from them from school being like, oh my God, I forgot my laundry and I have to go out tonight and I need that shirt. Oh well, you'll survive.

SPEAKER_00

Sorry, sorry. Right. Right versus getting it and running it over. Yeah, exactly. Letting them be responsible for them. Well, folks, Carrie, this is great information. Folks, please do look up Carrie's information. Please get the book. I think this is very valuable. We only skimmed the surface. So we could, I'm sure, talk for another couple of hours and still we wouldn't get to all of the depths of what I think you can probably share with people. So thank you so much, Carrie Cooper, for being here with us today. I very much appreciate your time, you sharing your wisdom and your experience. Folks, I appreciate you joining us. Please share this with other folks if you think it could be helpful for them as well. Carrie Cooper, audience, thank you so much for joining us. Have a wonderful rest of the day and be well. Thanks for listening to the Consumer's Guide to Mental Health with Dr. Margot Shacko. That's me. If you found today's conversation helpful, please be sure to subscribe so you won't miss future episodes. For more resources and information, check out the links in the show notes. And remember, mental health is health, and you deserve access to the support you need. Until next time, take good care of yourself and be well.