When Someone Tries to Talk You Out of Your Potential

In this episode of The Fuck It Shift, Adam Ross shares the story of a moment that changed the course of his life.

While sitting in a boardroom during a difficult rebuilding phase, he was told that what he wanted to build was too hard and probably wouldn’t work. Instead of backing down, that moment sparked a realization—sometimes the people telling you to play it safe are simply uncomfortable with the idea of you succeeding.

Adam talks about why progress can make others uneasy, how outside opinions can quietly sabotage your growth, and why protecting your mindset is critical when you’re trying to build something bigger.

He also shares a powerful question to ask when facing big decisions: What’s the worst that could actually happen? Because many times, the risk isn’t nearly as big as the opportunity you might talk yourself out of.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to the Fuck It Shift Podcast. I am Adam, joined by producer Jay. As always, is going to hit me with a question to get it started.

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Adam, can I ask a personal question?

SPEAKER_01 0:09

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 0:10

Take me to a moment where you knew your life was about to change, but nobody else in the room knew it yet. What happened?

SPEAKER_01 0:22

I'm going to mail this one in. It's a good moment, but it's it's one that's easy to talk about. So there's I'm sitting in a table. I'm sitting at a big boardroom table of uh what I thought, remember, um I'm coming out of rock bottom. What I thought was a very successful company. And the gentleman is doing everything that person he can to talk me out of doing what I do today. You'll never be able to do it. It's really hard. And then his partner belittles me in front of everybody and says, You think you're better than anybody in this room that you're gonna be able to do it? We're telling you it's too hard. So we go around the table and I'm with two other people, and they start handing out jobs. You can do this, you're good at this. And he gets to me and he looks at me, and this is a fuck you moment, okay? I have this programmed in my brain, and he's on my fuck you list, and he says, I don't know what I would do with you. I guess I'll give you a job, and you can be a business development manager for me. It was that second while everyone else in the room, not everybody, other people in the room were like, Yeah, yeah, let's take the jobs, let's take the jobs. That I was, I looked at them and inside my head I said, you're fucking afraid of me. You're worried that I'm actually gonna do it. And see, this is the gift that I got from personal training. And I used to say to my clients all the time when they would come back and say, you know, I don't know if I'm gonna do sessions again. And I'd be like, What are you talking about? We're we're doing amazing. You're here all the time, you're accountable, you're losing weight, you feel good, you're playing with your kids, things are going really well. Why, why do you want to stop? Well, my husband says, Well, my wife says, Well, my friend says, and I used to have this moment with them and say, you realize why they're saying that, right? Because you're actually starting to make progress. People will fuck with you the second you make progress because they don't want to see you do any better than them. Husband, wife, friends, it doesn't matter, especially in the gym business. As soon as you start losing a few pounds, holy shit, if they you can do it, now they have to do it and they want to stay comfortable. So the easiest way to stop progress is to stop you from reaching your own goals. And this guy is sitting across from me, telling me that he doesn't know what he's gonna do with me. And right away the change was fuck you. You're afraid of me. You don't want me to try. And here we are today, one of the biggest brokerages. That guy's not even in business anymore. And we got in the elevator, and uh, and I'm like, well, I'm not fucking doing that. And the two people I'm with are like, whoa, what? Yes. I'm like, no, I'm staying the course. We do the brokerage, there's no waffling. And that was a moment that I realized, and I didn't realize it now, like I, or I didn't realize it then like I do now, that people are out to sabotage your performance. But when you're in the middle of it and you're in the thick of it, and you're trying to level up and trying to grow. This is why I talk about in all the other shows protecting your mind and guarding it with everything that you have because someone's trying to fuck with it and someone's trying to tell you that you can't do it and you're not good enough, and you should just be safe. The world runs on safe. You get that, right? It runs on everybody doing the right thing and being safe, taking the safe job, taking the safe salary, never, never reaching for more, asking for your yearly raise and being happy you got a dollar. You're worth a dollar? If you get anything out of this, you're worth way more than that, but you're worth what you're willing to put on your own, on your own resume. What you're willing to accept tells the world what you're willing, what you're worth, what you're willing to accept. The wrong way. So I had that moment sitting at that table where I now realize they were afraid of me. And I don't know what was in me to make me just push forward and ignore it and go after it, but I sure am glad I did. And I'm encouraging you to keep your ears open, don't react emotionally, and keep the negative noise out because that's gonna be your moment.

SPEAKER_00 5:11

Adam, I think that's a very powerful and great moment, but uh, was there any worry that you were going to be wrong? And what's the danger in that?

SPEAKER_01 5:19

Of course, you're gonna doubt yourself as well. That's the that's the great thing about your brain, your life. At that moment, when although in that moment I did not, I was 100% convinced that that man was afraid of me and they didn't want us to succeed. And I don't know why that, but you'll have those moments where the fire is is burning bright. Those ones I'm encouraging you to listen to. But here's the thing if it didn't work out, what was I gonna do? Get a job? I already, that was already on the table. So I know that that was the risk really wasn't that great. The risk was let me just keep rolling the dice and keep building this thing and see how it works out. Or he's right and I get a job, it just won't be with him. So you're gonna have these moments where you're gonna be like, oh shit, I'm not so sure this was the right thing. That's when I want you to ask yourself. The advice I can give you is what changes if it doesn't work out. We don't ask ourselves that enough. We just immediately jump to, it's not gonna work. I'm not gonna do it. I did a little bit of research for worse. I asked AI. They don't think it's gonna work. These are the moments where you need to kind of dial down and buy into yourself and say, okay, this is what we're gonna do. If it doesn't work out, what's the worst that could happen? These three things will happen. That's not that bad. I can make those things up. And that's what I need you to do. You're gonna have moments where you're rebuilding yourself where you got to say, what's the worst that can happen? And then make an educated decision. Remember, nothing shifts until you say fuck it. Until next time.