The Fuck It Shift
Sometimes the only way forward is to stop caring about what you should do—and start doing what you must do.
Hosted by Adam Ross, The Fuck It Shift is about breaking free from rock bottom and rewriting your story. Over a decade ago, Adam was broke, divorced, and starting over with nothing. Today, he’s built himself back up into a multi-millionaire. Through raw conversations, hard-earned lessons, and unfiltered truth, Adam shares the mindset shifts, strategies, and stories that helped him rebuild—and how you can too.
If you’ve ever felt stuck, defeated, or ready to throw it all away, this podcast is your reminder that sometimes the most powerful move you can make is to say, “Fuck it”—and shift.
The Fuck It Shift
How to Stop Letting Other People’s Opinions Control You
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In this episode of The Fuck It Shift, Adam Ross breaks down why so many people feel controlled by the opinions of others—and how to finally take that power back.
Whether it’s negative comments online, expectations from friends and family, or the pressure to constantly please others, Adam explains how easy it is to lose yourself trying to live up to what everyone else wants.
He challenges the idea that every opinion deserves your attention, pointing out that most criticism has very little to do with you—and everything to do with the person giving it. At the same time, he also highlights the importance of being honest with yourself when feedback is actually valid, and using it as a tool for growth instead of something to take personally.
The conversation dives into the trap of people-pleasing, why you can never truly satisfy everyone, and how constantly putting others first will eventually leave you drained and disconnected from what actually matters.
Adam also shares the importance of shrinking your circle—focusing on the people who truly matter, whose opinions align with your values, and who actually play a role in your life.
This episode is a reminder that you don’t need approval to move forward—and that learning to choose yourself is one of the most powerful shifts you can make.
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Welcome to the Fuck It Shift Podcast. I am Adam Ross, and I'm joined by producer Jay. Jay, what do you got for me?
SPEAKER_00Adam, how do you, Adam Ross, handle negative comments towards you?
SPEAKER_01I spend a lot of time crying. Listen, I have the same advice for, I give myself the same advice I give to others when they're when they say things. My children, obviously I tone it down for them, but here's the bottom line. Who fucking cares? Most of the time that people say negative things about you, make negative comments, or are disappointed because you didn't give them what they wanted or what they needed or what they asked of you has nothing to do with you. It's really hard to get your head around that. And you want to be a pleaser, a server, you want to be helpful, you want to be good in your community. I'm all for that. But you got to draw a hard line in the sand and realize that what people think about you isn't that important. They don't live in your house, pay your mortgage, pay your car payments, raise your kids. So who cares what they say? Their opinion has so little weight yet, we make it. This giant thing that someone said something about me or somebody has this. Can I tell you this? What I tell my kids? Is it true? If the negative comment or the negative feedback is really true and it's really who you are, then maybe it's time to have a little introspection and look at yourself reflection time and make changes. Are you abrasive? Are you aggressive? Are you some of these things? I'm not going to say they're all not true. But if somebody says, you know, I'm pissed off because you didn't come and help me move, uh, even though you had other things to do, I expect you to at least show up. Or I invited you to this and you never showed up. You didn't even RV, you didn't even tell me you were coming or you weren't coming. I really think like if we're friends, you should have let me know. Okay, sure, there's some common courtesy and communication, but you know what? Fuck you. The problem you have is that you have, if you're a server or a pleaser, or you're so you internalize what everyone says about you or what their expectations are of you, you'll realize that you can never give those people enough. How much you got to give? There is a limit everybody has, a capacity. You shouldn't be turning to your partner and saying, I just don't have the capacity for you today. That's priority number one. Your family, your partner, your inner circle. What I'm going to encourage you to do is shrink your circle. Realize who's important in your life and who you should care and what those opinions and values do you share them? Can you work together? Can you build on what they have to tell you? The person online or what somebody wrote on a post or what your friend's friend thinks of you, who cares? And stop doing things to make other people happy because you're worried about how they're going to feel or what they're going to say. Why are you putting yourself last for someone else to feel better? When you have an aunt or an uncle or this far-reaching circle of an auntie who's not an auntie, but she's a family friend, and she wants you to do something spectacular for her that you just don't can't do, say so. Shrink your circle. Stop being available for everybody. Stop believing that you letting them down or you not being able to be there or deliver is this cross you need to bear. Instead, realize that you're never going to make them happy anyway.
SPEAKER_00Was it always that easy for you? Or was there at a time an atom that took offense to negative comments? And if there was, how did you change into the perspective you have now?
SPEAKER_01Well, first I'm a Sagittarius. So people will tell you that I have this. I'm sorry, you feel a uh you feel the way you do syndrome. But in reality, yeah, sure I care about people think about me. That's human. And it's kind of how you measure yourself against your peers. You know that feeling when you're uh seven, eight, and you're not invited to someone's house, but you hear that everybody went to someone, and that feeling in your stomach, it sucks that you weren't invited or you weren't included. The perspective that my wife gives our kids now is amazing. Because she says it's okay to feel that way. What you're told as a child when you're like, I'm uh pissed off, or it's not fair I didn't get invited to so-and-so's house, instead of nurturing that and being like, yeah, what? Why weren't you invited? You're really likable, you're a great kid. These things grow into this jealousy, this monster that you're not invited somewhere, you're not included somewhere, you're not good enough. You're not, instead of being okay with feeling that way that you weren't invited. Great lesson. If you can grow up like that, you'll have way less animosity and way less jealousy on these things when people say, you don't measure up, you can't do this, you weren't invited to XYZ. Who gives a shit? Maybe it wasn't worth going. What did they do that was so great? Maybe there's this power in that you can nurture that you don't have to live on someone else's acceptance. And that's so powerful. And that, my friend, is going to do it for this episode. See you next time.