Figuring it out at 40: Life beyond the timeline
Figuring It Out at 40 is for anyone who’s ever looked around and thought, “Hang on - wasn’t life meant to look different by now?”
I’m Gem - 41, single, no kids, never been married (not even close), and learning to carve out my own path. After leaving a job that was burning me out, I’ve since been creating a different life I never expected. I've started working online, want to move to Ibiza, solo travel and create a future that feels aligned - even if it doesn’t look anywhere near how I thought growing up.
I’ll share the highs, the lows, the self-doubt, the messy bits and the breakthroughs - all the things that don’t usually get celebrated but deserve to be. It’s about laughing at the awkward bits, grieving the hard bits, and reminding yourself you’re not on your own.
So, whether you’re 30s, 40s or beyond, single, divorced, child-free, or simply rethinking the path you’re on - you’ll find honesty, humour, and high vibes here. Think of this as a reminder that your story isn’t on the wrong track - it’s just a different one.
Figuring it out at 40: Life beyond the timeline
My 5 go-to’s when I feel off
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This week I’m sharing my 5 go-to’s when I’m feeling off - the simple things I always come back to that help me reset, clear my head and feel a bit more grounded.
If you’ve been a bit in your head lately… this one’s for you.
Thank you so much for listening!
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We've got this.
Gem xx
Hello and welcome back to Figure It Out at 40, life beyond the timeline. Today I'm here to talk to you about my five go-tos when I'm not feeling brilliant. So grab a cupper, or even better, let's go for a walk and let's dive in. But I'm just feeling a bit off. So today's gonna be a bit of a short, punchy one, but these are my five go-tos when I'm not feeling great. They're nothing fancy, nothing complicated. It's just the things that help me reset a bit. Now, this is also gonna help me. So I'm helping you, but I'm also helping myself because these are the five things I'm gonna do today to help boost my mood and make me feel better. Now, the first one is getting outside and going for a walk. And I know everyone says this, but honestly, it works. Now I'm not saying you have to go for a hike, but even just a brisk five, ten-minute walk around the block, it will boost your mood and make you feel better. And even if I don't feel like it, there's days honestly when I don't feel like doing it, but if I just get out, put my headphones in, or not put my headphones in at all, and if I'm too distracted, leave my headphones at home and get myself out for a brisk walk. Because every single time I feel that bit better afterwards, it just clears your head and gets you out of that lethargic, stuck feeling. Second one, now this is something I've been feeling over the last few days. Put the phone away for a bit. Because when I'm not feeling great, I do notice that I can't end up scrolling more, looking at what everyone else is doing. I might then start comparing, overthinking, and it never makes me feel better, it can just make me feel even more anxious and overwhelmed because I actually get I might have loads of things going on in my head, and I'm seeing people doing things and thinking, oh, I must do that, I must do this. Yeah, so put the phone down, even just for half an hour, putting it away makes a massive difference. Now, the third one is doing something small but feels productive. Now I'm huge with lists, I love a list and I feel nothing better. So honestly, when you you write a list, you're ticken them off, it just feels productive. So I'll sometimes find myself writing things that I've already done just to have that sense of achievement. But just do something that makes you feel better, something simple, tidy in a space, replying to a message that you've been putting off, getting one thing done. Now, yesterday, obviously, I'm in the process of selling my house, and I had an email from the solicitors that I'd put off from the day before, and I was like, oh, it kept hanging over me. I sat down, did the email, it only took me 15 minutes and it was off my worry list. I also had to contact the plumber, sent him an email, sent no, sent him a text message, another thing off my list, strike them off, and I felt better for it because it was sl it was clearing up some mental clutter in my headspace because when you feel off, everything can feel that bit bigger than it actually is, and just doing one small thing can really shift your energy. The fourth thing is check in with yourself, and I mean like properly ask what do I actually need right now? Because sometimes I think we try to push through when actually we just need to slow down. Yesterday, I haven't done it yet, but I'm tempted to. I went and laid down on my sofa for 10 minutes because I felt totally worn out, phone down, nothing, 10 minutes, and I just needed a break. And sometimes I know I'm very guilty of this, and I definitely did this when I was in my corporate job. When you're tired or you're overwhelmed, or you just need a break, you can tend to just ignore it. So I've been feeling I've been working on something that I'm really excited to share with you all, and I've been sat at my desk working away, and I got to the end and I'd done it, and I was like, I am shattered, and I hadn't realized I actually hadn't done anything. So I'd sat at my desk for ages, and I just felt completely worn out. So I made myself get up and move into another room just to give my brain a bit of space, a little bit of thinking time. So, yeah, sometimes you need to. I need to take my own advice, but listen to that need instead of fighting it. And the last one, giving myself a bit of a break, not beating myself up for feeling off. We have these days, it's it's normal. Not making it mean something, just accept that this is how I feel today, and that's fine. Do what you need to do, but yeah, tomorrow is always a new day. Because I think sometimes we make it worse by overthinking or trying to fix it straight away, and actually, sometimes you just need to let it pass. I've had moments where I've been like, I just need to sit in a dark room, no one talked to me. So, yeah, nothing groundbreaking, but these are things that I always come back to, and they genuinely do help. So if you're having a bit of a week where you feel a bit off, maybe try one of them and see if it helps. Move your body, even just dance around the kitchen, put a song on that you love to dance to, to sing to, and move that shift that energy and make you will feel better for it. So I hope that that helps. So, this is my very short episode this week. I'll be back next week. But what I did want to mention is if you are sat there thinking my life resonates with you, Jem, and life hasn't happened how I thought it would, I've been working hard behind the scenes on something that I think you're really gonna like. It's a digital download. This is being launched in the next couple of days. I'll talk more about this next week, but keep an eye on my social media, on my Instagram at what's next for me111, and it will be going live in a couple of days. This is a really helpful tool of all the things that I do to help me feel less stuck and have shifted me from woe is me to this person who is now selling a house and moving abroad. Yeah, it all didn't all happen overnight, but the information I'm providing in here has been a huge help to get me out of where I was to where I'm going to now. So, yeah, keep an eye out on my social media. Thank you, everybody. Please like, share, subscribe, leave a review, and share this with somebody that you think would benefit from hearing it. I'm Gemma, it's been an absolute pleasure, and I will see you on the next one. Have a great week, everybody. Take care.
