Find Your Fuel

Building Physical and Mental Fitness with Rachel Gregory

• Erin Martin • Episode 18

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Today’s episode is a deep dive into what it truly means to be fit—from the inside out. In this episode we sit down with Rachel Gregory, a Board-Certified Nutrition Specialist, Strength and Conditioning Coach, and the founder of RG Fit. 

Rachel has spent over a decade blending high-level science with sustainable methods to help women ditch the all-or-nothing mindset and build lasting self-trust. But beyond the physical gains, Rachel is currently navigating her own greatest challenge: the end of an 11-year relationship. She opens up about the emotional roller coaster of deep grief and how she is applying her principles of mental fitness to rebuild her life at a cellular level. 

In this episode, we discuss the difference between weight loss and body recomposition, the power of mental fitness, and navigating life when it throws you curve balls. Whether you are looking to strengthen your body or find your footing during a difficult season, Rachel’s story is powerful fuel for your journey.


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Disclaimer: The information provided in this podcast and its show notes is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended as medical advice or as a substitute for the advice of a physician or other healthcare professional. Using this information does not create a doctor-patient relationship.

Do not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problem or to prescribe any medication or treatment. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional before making changes to your diet, exercise routine, or medications, or before starting any herbal or nutritional supplements. Statements regarding dietary supplements have not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. The use of any information provided is solely at your own risk. This disclaimer also applies to any of the guests on the podcast.

SPEAKER_02

One of them is called like the reversal of desire, which is close to the saying of like embrace the suck or embrace the pain. But you're you're going into a situation and you're knowing that it's going to be painful, but you're looking at it through the lens of like, okay, I can take this, like bring on the pain. And and and more of like the not the physical stuff, right? You talk about that like in the gym, like go into the gym and like lift heavy weights and like feel the pain. It's more so the emotional. Like I know that this is gonna be very hard and um really like push my emotional mental boundaries, but I'm ready for it because I know that if I can get through that and if I can work through that hard thing, I'm only gonna level up.

SPEAKER_00

Hello, and welcome to another episode of Find Your Fuel. I'm your host, Erin Martin, and I'm excited to introduce our guest for today, Rachel Gregory. She's a board-certified nutrition specialist, a fitness coach, founder of RG Fit, and co-host of the podcast Muscle Science for Women. Rachel has quite a journey in all of the physical, mental, and emotional struggles that we deal with as women, which she shares today, talking all about the habits that has built up her physique and fitness over the years. She also shares how she started to now work on her mental fitness after a breakup from an 11-year relationship. She's a powerhouse of physical and mental fitness and offers amazing tips as your fuel for today.

SPEAKER_02

So basically, I got into nutrition in college. I went to college for sports medicine. Uh, that was what I got my undergrad degree in. And when I was going through my athletic training, uh sports medicine degree, I realized that I was super into nutrition and kind of junior year of college, I was, I thought to myself, oh no, I made a mistake. I should have kind of gone the RD route. And then I uh switched gears a little bit and realized that I could get my uh graduate school paid for me if I continued on with athletic training and was an athletic trainer for uh James Madison University. And I got my master's degree in nutrition and X Fizz from there while working as an athletic trainer for two years. And during that time, I did a my master's thesis on the I did the first uh study looking at the ketogenic diet in non-elite crossfit athletes. And this was back in 2015, 2016, when keto kind of had one of its, you know, ups. And as that that happens in the nutrition and fitness world, I feel like things kind of pop off for a little bit and they have, you know, they got a little bit really popular. Yeah. So that was definitely like one of the big pendulum swings, and I got into it a lot. Um, I just was super interested in everything, you know, that keto had to offer, not just like the fat loss benefits, but a lot of the just health in general and brain health and things like that. So dug deep into that um and ended up kind of going into that wheelhouse once I first got out got out got out of grad school and I started working with people and coaching, and that's kind of where my online business um came to fruition. So 2017 is when I officially started uh coaching online, and that was just kind of the start of everything. Uh, and I guess that was what 26, oh my gosh, like nine years ago, which is wild. Uh and yeah, so it's been a wild ride uh and amazing, and I've learned so much over the past nine years, and of course, views have changed. I got away from keto, started working with mainly women, um, went through my own phases of body composition changes. Uh, throughout that 10-year period, I, or nine to ten-year period, uh around 2018, I hired my first coach to really like dive into body composition changes because I was doing a lot of CrossFit. I was just kind of the classic run myself into the ground and hope for the best. And if I wasn't feeling exhausted every time I finished a workout, I wasn't working hard enough, right? That was like my mindset. Um, and so hired my own coach, got o got out of my own way, and finally started to see the body composition that I was working so hard for, and worked for years and years and years to kind of build that up and you know, went through different phases of building muscle, losing body fat, et cetera, et cetera, learning all this stuff along the way, um, and applying that within my own coaching. And uh, I've actually mentioned this on my podcast, but uh about, and this will kind of get into where I'm at now, but about a year ago, I was or yeah, January of 2025. Um, I started prepping for my wedding. And so I under I underwent a like another fat loss phase after kind of spending time building muscle and maintenance, um, was working with a coach, and I basically got to my, I call it like my dream body composition, um, around May, June of last year. And when I say that, I mean just, you know, after 10 years of actually spending dedicated time fueling my body and paying attention to what it actually takes to change your body composition, spending time building muscle, spending time kind of in those uncomfortable places, and then going through, you know, the different fat loss phases. It's I call it periodization. That's what I work with all my clients through. And finally, you know, last May, I was like, wow, I this is my dream body composition. Like, this is what I've been working for forever. Uh, and it was it was really cool to experience that. However, at the same time, I I then experienced the worst event in my life so far that I've experienced from a uh emotional just whatever you want to call it. I don't even know what to call it, but uh the breakup that we kind of talked about, and we can get into that. Um, but I I find it kind of just crazy that I finally hit like my physical body composition goal, and then everything else in my life shattered. And so looking back on it now, I'm kind of laughing. But yeah, there's a lot of uh mental growth that comes out of that, I think.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, which is one reason that I love your podcast because you talk about both things so much is that mental plus physical fitness side. And I have so many questions. Probably starting with just breaking down the concept of body recomposition. This is something that I admittedly only in the past few years really wrapped my brain around that, like, oh, like as women, we don't just want to lose weight or we don't want to just be skinny. Like what we're actually looking for is a physique, or usually, I mean, I would say usually what I think women are thinking about is like, I want to bang and body. And to get that, it's not just work out more and cut calories and be the tiniest version of yourself you can be. It's the shift to like, no, you actually want to recomposition your body, which means having muscle and losing fat, but you may end up heavier, but then you have a physique that you're actually going for. And that was like a big mental shift for me. Like I just grew up my whole life, like even into you know, 40s, like that's that's what I did. Like loved working out and then just like made sure that I didn't eat a ton, where it's really foods needed to get you where you want to go. So I'm curious if you can kind of break down just the body recomp process, like how you then approached it and learned about it. Like this is a whole different way of thinking, basically. Yeah to do it right.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, no, for sure. And I think the biggest piece of the puzzle that most women are missing is that, you know, like you just said, a lot of women are focused on just becoming a smaller version of themselves, right? Feeling like we have to restrict and see the number on the scale go down, and that it has to be this, you know, work as hard as you can, sweat as hard as you can, burn as many calories as you can, type of mindset that gets you to the body composition that you want. And it's actually the opposite, um, to a degree. And what I mean by that is, you know, in order to actually feel look and feel strong and toned, toned is, you know, the word that everybody uses, which I don't really love the word, but uh people can relate to it. So, you know, just having that shape where you, you know, you look at uh someone in the magazine and you're like, wow, they have a nice toned body, right? They have curves, they have some like muscle, right? Um and a lot what a lot of people, what a lot of women specifically are missing is that in order to actually change the shape of your body and not actually just become a smaller version of your current body, you have to spend time fueling yourself appropriately to be able to build muscle. And I think that is the just the biggest thing. It's the shift that that happened for me specifically, and and that a lot of my clients, when they finally get this, it it just changes everything. Instead of going into your workouts, trying to burn as many calories as possible, or trying to sweat as much as possible, or again, trying to see that scale go down, you're shifting your perspective to how can I go into this to build as much muscle as possible? Because if I can build muscle, that is what's going to make everything else come like come into play, and everything else is going to become easier, not only from a body composition change change standpoint, but from a health and a longevity standpoint, right? And so shifting the mindset of, okay, instead of trying to work harder and burn more calories and do more and train five times a week and restrict, restrict, restrict, it's like, how can I actually work smarter and focus on fueling myself to build muscle? And so we're shifting that restriction mindset into an abundance mindset. And when you do that and you're able to kind of look more at the the long term, right? You you play the long game and you play into that, that is where everything changes because it's so easy, especially in our society now, to want that short-term fix, you know, the the quick gratification. Um, you know, it's just everything's right where, you know, at our fingertips. And so with body composition changes that really last, it's it's quite the opposite. You have to do kind of the boring, non-sexy things day in and day out to actually see those changes happen. But once you can kind of get on board with that and you're on it and you and you're sticking with that for a few months and you s actually start to see the changes from the boring stuff, you like the flip, the switch flips, and you're like, okay, yeah, now I get it. And then and that's where you can kind of take off and really like plan out, okay, if I want to look this way in two years from now, how can I reverse engineer that to where I am now? And so that's what I do with all my clients. It's called neutr, it's called periodization. We're basically looking at where you want to be and where you could be based off of your current metrics. And then we reverse engineer where you what what you need to do right now in order to get to that spot. Um, and for most people, it's not diving right into a fat loss phase. It's focused on the What did that switch look like for you then?

SPEAKER_00

Like you got your own coach. So then literally, what did you go to from from a nutrition and fitness perspective or working out to then doing your own body recomp journey?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. So I started with my own personal coach back in 2020. Uh it was probably like when I started my business. I realized, like, okay, I know how to do this. I've been doing this for a long time, but I clearly am missing some things. So I want to have my own mentor and learn from somebody. So I've had several different coaches over the years. Um, and in the beginning, I like I said, I was doing a lot of CrossFit. I was not, I was going into the gym, either doing CrossFit or doing random workouts and not tracking anything, just trying to, you know, burn as many calories as possible and sweat it, sweat and feel sore and all the things. And I wasn't paying attention to as much as I thought I was. I actually was not paying attention to my nutrition uh to the degree that I I should have been or could have been. And so those are the two, those are the two things that kind of switched. I stopped, um, I stopped doing CrossFit and I joined a gym and I started following a progressive training program um that was more so like bodybuilding style, right? So um like an upper lower split or a full body split, but very strategically, you know, mapped out. And then and I started actually tracking my food and understanding, okay, what was I actually eating, how much protein was I getting. Um, and that was kind of the the beginning. And then everything as I continued to get more, you know, developed in those areas, then kind of added on layers with peri and uh peri workout nutrition, so pre-posts, so optimizing that, um, and then just kind of starting to pay attention to more of the I call them like the the one percenters, the things that people tend to start to pay attention to in the beginning when they actually don't have the foundation built. And that's I think another mistake that people people make. It's like again, going back to the non-sexy things, so steps and water and sleep and protein and just overall calorie intake, um, recovery, stress, all of those foundational pieces, if those are not in play and they're not and like you're not uh you're not in a good place with those, trying to layer on or add on little things, those one percenters, um, like I don't know, like for example, peri workout nutrition, that's important. But if you aren't even tracking your food throughout the day, adding that on in, adding that in and not really understanding where that works or how it works is just gonna make everything so much more confusing. So yeah, I know I'm rambling, but I think it was just kind of over the years working with I've worked with several different coaches and I've learned so many different things from um from all of them. And I think the biggest thing that I took away, you know, over those years is that first of all, everybody is different um in where they're starting. And so with my coaching, I meet people where they're at um and try to not overhaul their entire life and their entire nutrition and training. It's like, okay, where are you at now? And let's slowly like pick pick this apart and make sure that this is something that you can personally sustain for the long term, which that's the wild piece to me too.

SPEAKER_00

I mean, probably someone like you or I, like, we go hard in the paint and like drive hard. So it's like, okay, like give me all the progressive overload, like let's lift heavy, let's like dial macros in. And so I think some of that can be intimidating for people. But one thing I've also realized is I've been in a body recon program for the past three months. Um so not that long, but basically like got my nutrition dialed in. So I'm eating more than I ever have every day now. Um, and because of some uh health stuff and an iron deficiency I'm working through, I've actually paired back on working out. So I used to work out an hour every day, six days a week, like only one rest day. So like I had to force myself to do it. And now I'm literally doing, you know, like 60% effort with weights to maintain muscle three times a week. So I've literally, I think I work out an hour and a half, plus lots of walking, good sleep, and water. And I've been able to maintain muscle, lose seven pounds of body fat throughout the three months just because of the foundations and proper nutrition and approaching it through a body recomp lens. So it's also like you do not have to completely go hard in the paint to have all these gains, like like just you were saying, yeah. You can do like baby steps to get there, and just changing that mindset can do wonders. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And I think for women specifically, especially a lot of the women that I work with and how I am and was just like type A, go, go, go, go, go. Like we always just feel like we're not doing enough. And most of the the clients that I work with, they come in and they are doing too much. And it's it's like, okay, let's break this down and actually focus on the things that are not gonna completely stress out your body every single day. Because it we are sensitive, we are more sensitive to that stress, especially as our hormones are fluctuating, you know, whether it's in perimetopause, uh, menopause, you know, that area of things uh compared to men, right? And so if you are constantly stressing your body out, you're not gonna get anywhere. And that also goes to the mindset piece of it too. And I think that is one of the things that, you know, especially over the last year, that I've really recognized in my own kind of training and giving myself the grace to step back in that, in that sense and really take care of like my mental health. Um, and so that is another piece of the puzzle that I've really been able to um kind of meet my clients at too when they're going through these big transitions. It's like, no, you actually should not be pushing yourself this hard right now. You need to like back it up a sec.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. There's a lot of women who will come to me and be like, oh my gosh, like you're so good. You like work out every day. And I'm like, no, actually, that's not good. Like, turns out I was doing it wrong. Like, yes, you can totally sustainably do it, but yeah, other ways to still be healthy. You don't have to be grinding the gears to get there.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. And I think it also depends what season you're in, too. And so this is a lot to do with like recognizing and and having that ability to kind of see where you're at and like what there are seasons where you can and should push more, right? And there's seasons where you need to kind of pull back and and really understand that pushing more is actually potentially you know, digging a hole even deeper for yourself that you need to then come out of. And that is something that I've done many times in the past, and I've finally uh kind of come to the the conclusion after doing that so many times, not doing it is actually what is ha has allowed me to move forward and actually develop not only maintaining my physique from that dream body comp. We can talk about that a little bit, but I haven't like maintained that leanness, that level of leanness, because I got pretty lean. I was prepping for a wedding that didn't happen. Um, but being able to kind of transition out of that and not lose that completely during the most devastating time of my life was to me, I look back and I know it's because I was able to kind of level up my ability to give myself grace in that period and not get so caught up on some of the little things that I probably would have been caught up on um had it been a few years ago when I wasn't as um developed in my mental emotional capacity, I guess you could say.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, so good. And so yeah, I am curious about the physique, how you got there then. Like it sounds like weightlifting, proper nutrition, but what does it exactly look like? What did you do? And what did you what do you eat as a nutritionist as well? Yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_02

So like I said, you know, getting to that quote unquote dream body composition, that wasn't from the six month, that wasn't from January to May of uh, you know, 2025. Like that six-month period's not what what created that. It was the 10 years before of going through different phases. So during that time, I think this is kind of the question you asked before, and I didn't really answer it, so I'll try to answer it quickly, but going through different phases of um like focusing on building muscle, so going into a surplus for a period of time, like over a year at at some point, um, and then going, you know, building as much muscle as I could during that time, learning things, getting uncomfortable, right? Because with it not necessarily that you that most people or a lot of people have to put on a lot of weight to build muscle. That's not what I'm saying, especially for even my clientele, they do have a lot of um, they do see a lot of benefits from body recomposition, which is the ability to lose body fat and build muscle at the same time. Um, but for some people who are more advanced, I would say, and have been lifting for a while and um just want to be, you know, build as much muscle as possible in a period of time as efficiently as possible, going into like a slight surplus can be very advantageous for that. So I went, I did a few building phases, and then after that, kind of like shedding, you know, the excess fat that was uh that came on with that, going through a fat loss phase, and then spending a long time in maintenance. And when I say the word maintenance, a lot of people say, Oh, you were at maintenance, not doing anything. That's not necessarily. Maintenance, and you can also kind of reframe this as maintenance is a body recomposition phase if you do it correctly. And that is spending time actually solidifying the results that you have just gotten, whether you're coming out, you know, of a fat loss phase, but also spending time actually practicing maintenance and eating enough to fuel yourself appropriately. And over time, if you're doing That and you're training progressively, and you're not stressing yourself out too much, and you're, you know, tracking all your biofeedback, sleep stress, all that, you will absolutely build muscle in that maintenance period and change your body composition. That's what recomposition is. Um, and there's different types of body recomposition, but yeah, so going through those different phases, right? And that was over like a nine-year period, um, you know, getting lean, getting not lean, building muscle, spending time at maintenance. Uh, you know, there's another kind of phase that I call like the health phase. So there was a period of about a year and a half that I came off of one of my uh video shoots where I got super lean and I actually got a lot of um just hormonal issues and gut stuff that was happening. So I had to kind of pull back and focus on just pure health uh during that time. Um and I had a coach that I was working with where I was pulling back from training, even like I would train like two days a week, right?

SPEAKER_00

Um and did you know it immediately that you were that was the cause? Like being too lean was the cause of things.

SPEAKER_02

It wasn't because I was too lean. I think because during that that fat loss phase that I went through and then the the time, you know, towards the end was a really stressful, exciting time, but very stressful time. So those combin the combination of those things um just like everything kind of just like yeah, my body said, Hey, we're done. And so I needed time to recover from that um versus push into something else. So it was more so like a health phase. And this is where, you know, working with someone is important because sometimes you can't recognize that yourself until someone else points out all the things that are happening. You're like, oh yeah, you're right. I should probably chill out for a sec. Um, so yeah, going through those different, all those different phases, right? Um, and then back in uh January of last year, I was working with a coach and um I just said that my goal was to um, you know, get in the best shape of my life for my wedding. And um that's what I did. And it was more so uh like I went into a calorie deficit, of course. I don't know how much, I don't remember how much I lost. It was definitely over like 10 pounds, um, got super lean, but I was also very much focused on um training at that point, and I was in the gym. I had time to be in the gym for like an hour and a half, um, really focused on lower body specifically. Um, and also I had started playing flag football at that time, so I was focused on body, uh, like building muscle and maintaining muscle through that fat loss phase, not necessarily building muscle, but maintaining as much as possible. Um, and then also a little bit more focused on like the fun stuff of flag football. So um more, you know, power training, stuff like that. Performance. Performance, yeah. So yeah, did that answer the question? Yes. I always get lost.

SPEAKER_00

I do want to know exactly what you eat though, and I also asked because I always follow your Instagram and stories, and I've been seeing some roasted squash at breakfast, which I was like, that is genius. I would have never thought of that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I my uh uh diet is very boring. I eat the same thing pretty much every day. Um I tr I obviously try to like rotate different fruits and vegetables and things like that, and I I get a pretty good variety with that. Um, but in terms of just especially, I don't know, like especially since I moved to Chicago um back in August, I I used to love to, you know, cook and try new recipes and things like that. Um I'm sure I'll get back there, but after going kind of through that breakup stage and and still in it, you know, there's things that I enjoyed before that I don't really, you know, necessarily not that I don't enjoy, but I just don't I don't have an urge, right? So like with cooking and things like that, um, it's more so I just do the things that I know taste good and fit within my goals and taste good to me. Um, and just put those on repeat. So it's very simple. Um I always have some type of sweet sweet potato in my fridge cooked and squash. Um typically Japanese sweet potatoes, which are the purple ones with the white flesh. Oh yeah. I'm obsessed with them. Um any of my friends who come over to my house uh and you know, they're like, I'm like, do you want anything to eat? They're like, is it gonna be sweet potatoes and chicken again? And I'm like, yeah, probably. Um but yeah, so sweet potatoes, I just cook a bunch in the beginning of the week, put them in the oven, super easy. I don't even peel them or anything. Uh same with squash. So um kaboche squash is one of my favorites. Um, but there's a newer squash called Koig Koignut. I don't really know how to pronounce it, um, that has been in rotation for a while. And I just roast that, and then for breakfast, I have that squash, and then I have a yogurt, like I make a yogurt bowl and mix yogurt with protein powder, and then I add some berries, and then I kind of uh vary the different nuts and seeds that I'll put on top, and that's typically breakfast. Um I mean that sounds delicious too.

SPEAKER_00

Like it may it's really seem boring, but who cares if boring tastes good? Game on.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, exactly. And then the rest is just either lunch is you know, a veggie uh protein. Um typically I rotate between a white meat and a like a dark meat. So like chicken, if I have chicken for lunch, I'll have ground beef or some type of steak for dinner just to make sure that I'm getting the nutrients from um the red meat, right? Which I try to include every day or every other day. And then I'll also swap, you know, salmon, so uh wild-caught salmon a few times a week. And then I'll have either some sweet potatoes or more squash or some other type of veggie. Um, and then I typically have a ninja creamy, which have you do you have a ninja creamy? I don't tell me more. No, oh my gosh. Okay, so I'm obsessed. I literally have a whole um blog post on my blog on my blog that goes through everything and has tons of different recipes and stuff. Um, but basically you're making protein ice cream that you can eat a whole tub of ice cream, a whole um not tub, a pint for about two to three hundred calories if you do it right. And it's so satisfying. And yeah, I basically eat ice cream every single night. Um, and I recommend, highly recommend that if you don't have an inch of creamy. Yeah. It's there are some things that you have to note, like in terms of making it. So that's why I wrote this blog post because there's different, you know, different protein powders work in different ways and have different consistencies and different types of milk that you use and all that stuff. But if you find the right, like if you find the recipe um that works, it's a game changer.

SPEAKER_00

So yeah, not boring at all. I mean, I consider myself boring too, because I just make bowls. Like it's like, okay, let's like throw veggies, uh, protein and some carbs into a bowl. And like whatever that looks like changes, but it's always just gonna be those three in a bowl.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, no, 100%. And that's delicious. Exactly. Yeah, and that's what I think a lot of people get caught up on too if you're first coming into um, especially people who are trying to eat more whole foods, right? It's they get so caught up on all these recipes and it's just analysis, paralysis, analysis, analysis, paralysis, whatever that term is. And it doesn't have to be hard at all. Um, and it doesn't have to take a lot of time. Like I re I rely on frozen fruits all the time. Like the berries that I put in my bowl in the morning, those are frozen berries that I microwave. Um, and then frozen veggies, I have those in my freezer at all times. And it's just it does not have to be complicated, especially if you have a few different types of seasonings and you know how to season things, and you have like hot sauces, different types of hot sauces. It's that's all you need.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah. All like bulk uh cook chicken or steak or something where we can just eat off of it in bowls, like I said, for a few days for lunch and dinner. And that's like it. Just like have some veggies on hand, like quinoa or ferro, and it's like that plus some nuts in a bowl is good to go. Yep. Got it covered. Um, and so I do also want to go back to the keto research that you did. So, what is the deal with keto? What did you find? Why did you go off keto? Like, tell us everything.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so this was I haven't talked about this in a long time. Um, so this back in 2015, yeah, was when it kind of peaked or started to peak. Um, and I had never heard about it before. Um, I heard of, you know, the Atkins diet and all of that, but I never really like dove into keto. And the thing that intrigued me the most was being able to, you know, actually test if you were in ketosis or not. Um, and that be a marker that could show you, you know, if someone was actually being compliant to what they were doing. Um, and so that really triggered something for me. And then also the brain health benefits, like focus and being able to, at least for me, when I was in ketosis, I found that my brain function was just so much higher. Um and then in terms of the study that I did, it was really, you know, my professor in grad school uh for my class, he basically just told us, you know, for your thesis, you want to find a subject that you're interested in, and that also has not had a lot of research on it. And so a lot of my other classmates were doing more um uh what's the word uh surveys study type things, not an actual trial like clinical trial. And I knew that if I was gonna do this for two years, I wanted something that would challenge me and that, you know, really um could be something like fun and exciting to do every day. And so basically in my CrossFit gym, I went into it and I said, Hey, I'm doing this study. Um, and I want to see if anybody's interested in participating, and I got huge, like everybody wanted to participate. And so basically it was a six-week um protocol, and we had uh 30-ish total participants and divide those up into two groups, and one of the groups um was uh going to follow the the ketogenic diet or did follow the ketogenic diet, and the other group just followed their normal diet, and basically what we were looking to see is if the keto group could lose body fat and maintain their performance throughout those six weeks within CrossFit compared to the control group. Um, and so I was testing uh going to the CrossFit gym every single few days a week. Uh like in the morning, I remember like in the morning, you know, gathering pea samples to bring back to the lab and doing that multiple times a week to test the ketones. Um, because at that time there wasn't what we have now, which are like those, you know, blood ketone monitors that are super, you know, um accessible now. They weren't back then. So it was testing the P strips and uh doing DEXA scans on all these participants and all that. So and looking at food logs, and basically by the end, we did a retest metric. Um, we retested DEXA scans and we saw that um in gener like in the uh general analysis of the study, the participants in the ketogenic diet group were able to lose a statistically significant amount of body fat compared to those in the control group while being able to maintain their performance at the end. Um and looking back, like thinking about it now, I probably would never recommend uh a ketogenic diet to someone participating in CrossFit uh unless it was, and this is something to note too. Like I said, non-elite CrossFit athletes. So the people who were participating in the study were these like 40, 50-year-old moms who were a little bit overweight, who were doing CrossFit because it was the community thing to do. It was more so like a boot camp type thing. It wasn't, you know, um competitive CrossFit, like they weren't going to the CrossFit games, right? Yeah. And that's a lot of the population I think of CrossFit is just your average Joe who's just trying to get a good workout and have some community um and looking to lose a little bit of weight or just get healthy. And so that was the population. Um, but even now, looking back and through all that I've learned over the past several years, um, especially for women, it it's probably not a good idea because especially with such a high glycolytic sport and a lot of stress, um, carbs are very beneficial to helping not only fuel that, but to also recover from that. And so there are a lot of things that could potentially quote unquote go wrong from a stress perspective. Um, if you're actively f like following a ketogenic diet for a long period of time.

SPEAKER_00

Um because keto, is it uh just fat and protein, like no carbs at all, or minimal?

SPEAKER_02

So it's minimal carbs and everybody's different too. So the biggest thing is like understanding that, you know, some people who are way more active and um, you know, what depending on what their lifestyle looks like, could technically still be in ketosis with a higher amount of carbs versus somebody else. Um so it's all relative to the person. Um, but in the general population, like the and I and I wrote a book on this too, which is I still think it's relevant. Like I wrote a book in 2018, um, it's called the 21-day Ketogenic Diet Weight Loss Challenge. I didn't pick that name. Um, I'm I always kind of not regret that that's the name, but it's just like I don't know, it was for uh marketing and all that. So, anyways, but it's very educational. Um, it's also a recipe book. So if you are looking to just follow more of like a lower carb protocol and not necessarily keto, that is something that can definitely kind of educate you on that. Um, and in terms of the approach that I took and take if someone does, if I do see that someone would be like a candidate for following a keto jank diet, um, it's more so really focused on like higher protein keto, not the not the higher fat keto. So you can, and that's a mistake that people make is like, oh, you have to eat a ton of ton of fat and you know, reduce your carb so much. Um, but you can still get into ketosis and benefit from it, benefit from it by just eating higher protein and lower carb um and not necessarily a ton of ton of fat. So it's all dependent on the person, really.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, to your earlier point, like every body is different. It's like nutrition, fitness, like everything can be so different, which makes it hard then because you know, you just hear see someone, you're like, oh, I can do I want to do that then. And it's like, well, it might not be right for your body, which is where coaches can come into play and be helpful, or even just general macro tracking. Like, I know it's hard to do, but you don't have to go hard at macro tracking every single day. You could do some gut checks to generally get into the realm and just like understand how to build a better plate. I think that's one thing that's valuable. Just do a gut check.

SPEAKER_02

One of your macro tracking is for sure a spectrum. Like, I don't think it just depends where you're at. And the biggest piece of it is really just education, right? Understanding, become aware, becoming aware is the best thing that, in my opinion, comes out of tracking macros, is you're just more aware as you move through life. And the more aware you are, the more the better decisions you're gonna be able to make that are in line with your goals.

SPEAKER_00

So yeah, love it. Well, I definitely want to get to the thing that you've been working on a ton that I've been listening to on the mental fitness side was just the wedding that didn't happen then. So tell us more about that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so um, yeah, where do I start? Uh a simp the simplest way to put it is I was uh basically in a relationship uh since I had I got into a relationship in uh college, my senior of college. Um and I was in that relationship up until last June, so about 11 years. Um and the short of it is that I was supposed to get married, and um there's a lot of things that happened, you know, over the past few years that were um kind of red flags or things that I ignored or that we ignored um leading up to the actual wedding. Um and uh like we were in got into like couples therapy for a while and started to work through things and then there was uh I call it like the catalyst that kind of opened up everything that happened in uh about April, May of last year. And um don't want to get like too far into that, but basically kind of in a very short time, a short period of time went from sending out the save the dates to canceling everything and you know completely just leaving my life uh in San Diego behind. So that was just a huge uh a huge transition um in a very short period of time. Um it was the first time that I and I've talked about this a little bit on the podcast, the first time like I ever experienced any type of uh true grief. Um and uh just like the biggest kind of life event that I've had. And you know, I've lost grandparents, I've lost um, you know, people in my life, but not anybody who was super, super close to. And so this was you know, and they say if you've been with someone for so long, like they become part of you, right? And so um it was basically like losing a part of me in in a very short period of time. Um, and so I made the decision that I couldn't stay in San Diego and be able to process and and move on. And so basically within like a two-week period, I sold like all my belongings, um, sold mostly gave away to all my friends uh that like all of my life for the last however many years that we were in San Diego, which was like 10 years, eight, eight, eight to nine years, um, and then decided to uh just move back to New York with my parents uh for the summer and just kind of recalibrate there. Um, and so that was a big, you know, a big life change and a lot of uh mental hurdles that came with that, you know, going through the grief process, um, the roller coaster that it is, all you know, the ups and downs, and you know, you don't understand until you actually go through it. Um, and so that really kind of it just like everything kind of exploded in my in my just internal emotional being. I don't even know how ex how to say it. And so working through that and and trying to process, but also um for me when some like when I something happens, I uh I am the type of person to like dive into okay, how can I become the most educated on this thing as possible so that I can learn from it and do it the right way, so to speak. Um so during that time I basically dove into kind of all of the um the grief um and breakup and heartbreak and all of the kind of materials that I could get my hands on um and started to to learn as much as I could from that. Um and uh it was very helpful because there was, you know, pieces of it. The main piece was that always kind of stuck with me throughout stuck with me throughout that time and and up to this time too is just you know trying to not bury down the feelings, right? And feel the feelings and like let them move through you. Um and that that really you know is so difficult, right? A lot of us want to, you know, numb things and you know, whenever you feel some type of way, whether it's sad or angry um or stressed or whatever, it our first instinct is to not feel that, right? Is to do what we can to cover that up, um, whether it's turning to food or alcohol or some type of substance or you know, doing something like going to the gym for three hours and pushing yourself as hard as possible to like not feel the thing. Yeah, right. Um, and so that was something that I really and I'm still working on, but being able to kind of take a step back and actually ask myself like what I need during the time that I'm feeling something hard or emotional. Um, and one of the things that that helped me a lot when I moved to Chicago was I joined um a place called Ritual Hot Yoga Um and started taking yin classes, um, which I've never done before. And I always have been a person who's like, I'm gonna, you know, let, you know, like let it let it all out at the gym like while I'm lifting weights, right? And I still do that at times, um, but shifting the my kind of uh understanding of like what actually would nurture me at the time of the like what I was feeling and being able to work with my nervous system versus against it, um, was doing something restorative. And so finding this yin class, which is basically you go in and you sit in this hot room and you stretch like one body body part every five minutes and you're listening to this music, and you basically like are are just really just sitting with yourself um and letting things kind of move through you. And I kind of joke now to my friends on like the amount of tears that I let out in that dark room during those 50 minute sessions was uh enough to like fill uh bajillion swimming pools really but it was very healing so that was something that I found um that helped me just kind of like process um and then yeah I there's I my kind of life right now it is still I'm processing a lot of things and things are still changing and there's different friendship relationship dynamics that I'm kind of really in the the deep of right now.

SPEAKER_00

And so yeah there's been a lot but yeah I don't even remember what the original question was but hopefully yes just sharing more and I'm curious did you guys mutually break that breakup then do you still talk to them? I mean like the that messy middle of all of that can also be hard.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah so um it was uh so uh initially I was the one who was broken up with um and that was like a complete shock um there was obviously a series of events that happened and it was nothing that I thought would come out of what was happening and so I was in just complete shock in that first few weeks and then as I kind of came to I could see very clearly um what was happening and began accepting it in the in you know those first after that the that first initial shock and so leaving San Diego you know we actually we worked through the breakup with our therapist which highly recommend if you ever are going through any type of breakup I mean we were basically married um and shared everything for years and years so it was like marriage without the the actual in some states you would literally be common common yeah exactly yeah and so you know going through working with a therapist through the entire uh process was very very very helpful um and I do recommend that to even like I've had some friends going through recent breakups too and that's like the one thing that I always recommend because then you always have kind of that sounding board because there's so many emotions that are happening and if you don't have someone who's on the outside kind of bringing you back or at least being that sounding board it's it just makes everything so much harder. And so towards the end we got to a place where literally like the last week before I left San Diego we spent you know the whole week together did all of our favorite things um we had two dogs together and I uh so my first dog who's Lilo's back in San Diego um and I took our other our newer dog Mia she's a only a year and a half um so that was obviously a hard a hard thing if you have a a pet um leaving a pet behind is like another whole piece of grief um that you have to deal with but yeah so we kind of ended mutually and and um even did this it's so corny but our our therapist recommended um kind of closing out the chapter closing out that chapter with some type of ritual and so we ended up you know going to the place where we got engaged and like doing this kind of ritual to to end and close things knowing that once I left San Diego we were going to be going non-contact for the foreseeable future and so that's what happened and when that happened it was a whole other um type of grief that came um through that period and then um actually back in so I left San Diego like I think it was June 6th I think that was the date um and then we went non-contact and then in October of this past year I was going to San Diego for a football tournament um and that was actually the time where we said that we were going to um reach out and see where we were at and so we did that and we were supposed to meet up when I was in San Diego during that time in October and it didn't work out. We ended up kind of getting in into an argument through text message when we were supposed to see each other and so it the energy was just not good. And so skipped that and then back in December um I went to San Diego again for Christmas and at that point we had reconnected and we were kind of texting and um very much like away from the the actual breakup period right which was you know June to December and so we were like ready to meet meet up and it was great and yeah now we're in contact we um we text every so often we are very much like on the same page of you know what happened happened for a reason and we just kind of grew apart as we were growing up together. We we grew apart um and so yeah now we're kind of at peace and I and I say that that December meeting was kind of the the official end of that chapter and now we've started a new chapter to um you know be in each other's lives as friends as best as possible. We have a lot of mutual friends still so yeah so I'm in a good place there um in terms of that that relationship and you know there's other things that are that I'm dealing with from other relations uh friendships things like that right now that are just also very uh stressful and new and you know life just continues to life I guess is that separate or is that because it was a mutual friend between you two where it got sticky um you mean like sorry this recent like what I'm going through the like latest relationship um it's it's not completely separate no but and it it's like more of a I don't know there's just it's complicated.

SPEAKER_00

So many layers there's so many layers and it's I'm so processing it yeah so oh yeah I'm so impressed that you guys could I haven't heard of anyone working through a breakup with support or therapy. That sounds so amazing because I think back to like my poor you know younger 20 year old self going through their first heartbreak and it was like hard cut. Like never talk to that person again. That's how you dealt with it you just moved on and like God speed but you never process you like just like continue to think whatever just like one final conversation or something can help so much with closure. So the fact that you guys could work through steps is really incredible.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah and I do rec I mean like the no contact was very very like that was necessary for however many months it was I think it was maybe six five to six months of like no contact um it's very hard in the beginning because again you've like I literally felt like I lost one of my limbs. Yeah your nervous system doesn't like that date it doesn't register that it's not part of your body that it's actually a separate person because you've literally become you know a a unit for so long. But I think it is absolutely necessary at least in my opinion to be able to actually like release completely release that person. And obviously everybody's situation is different but I I don't think that I would never not recommend if you are going through a serious life transition breakup whatever especially breakup or some type of heartbreak like working with a therapist um is like again was one of the main things that helped it to be to be as smooth as it could. And I think there are a lot of people that you know tend to if they're in longer relations I I mean I have some friends recently who have gone through this as well and you know in a longer term relationship and you know go into couples therapy and try to work through it right this there's kind of like a a pattern that happens right you go into therapy and try to work through it and sometimes that works and then sometimes it doesn't but if it doesn't work highly recommend staying with that and through therapy through your breakup with that because like there's nothing that compares to that in my opinion.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah that's such a good tip. And so now I'm also curious I mean not only did you I love that you use the word grief because that's literally what it is that you're working through all those stages and what did it feel like going back to San Diego then because you kind of you bolted and went to hang with the parents for a little bit decided to head to Chicago and then I could imagine then what was it like going back to San Diego after all of that?

SPEAKER_02

It's like almost like these two lives now very different but must be yeah it was so and it was a little bit also a little bit uh weird because I the reason I went back to San Diego is because there was a flag football tournament that I had signed up for with my San Diego team before I had left San Diego like back in in April you know it was like way before all this happened um and so during that time the Chicago team that I was playing with in Chicago and practicing with also was going to that San Diego tournament. And so I was basically practicing with the Chicago team for months and like basically on the team and then going to this tournament and joining this team where I actually only still knew like only half of them and I didn't practice with them. So I was coming into a situation that was already terrifying just going back there in general and then into like a team that um you know I hadn't been practicing with and all of a sudden I was just like playing with them in this tournament it it all ended up being fine and they were like really welcoming but that was a whole other and there was a lot of people you know who were like in the community that we were in. Yeah friends and and other people um and so that was kind of a whole other piece of it but yeah going back in in October was it was difficult and it was really it brought up a whole other layer of grief right and I think that's the thing that was hard and even looking back on that now it's like people say this like grief comes in waves and it's so different. Like and you can think you're through it and then something happens and you're like nope I'm back I'm back on the roller coaster right um and so that was like another kind of layer there. But then going back in December um the most recent time I went back my sister lives in Laguda Beach so like I knew that I would eventually go back. Yeah Laguda Beach is about an hour from San Diego. And um going back in December felt a lot more like I felt a lot more at peace um and regulated from there. But yeah it's it wasn't easy and I mean I l like I I love San Diego and I I thought I was gonna be there for the rest of my life. You know I lived there for about eight years. I loved it um and so kind of having to leave quote unquote against my will I guess you could say I I made the decision but it was the only decision that was that I could have made honestly like I could not have stayed there and you know been able to get through that. Um so yeah it was it was sad but I'm in Chicago now and I'm building a community here and um it feels like the right place to be um so how do you try to be so I when I moved back to my parents house um in New York I I basically just like left San Diego with two suitcases and my dog Mia and moved back and I didn't really know I just I was like I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just gonna stay here for a little bit um and of course they welcomed me and you know supported me through that but I had uh my best friend I moved to Chicago at the same time around the same time that I left San Diego um and that was kind of another big thing that was happening too like I I literally within a two week period lost my fiance and my best friend one moving away and one you know from the breakup and so that was like a whole other like just all of that combined was just really really difficult. But anyways I came to visit Chicago during the summer um I have some other friends who lived here some really close friends who lived here too and I came for a football tournament that I was playing in and then also just to to hang out and stuff and I went back to New York and I like I remember in July and I was like watching all of their stories on Instagram. They're all like having so much fun like all my friends in Chicago are like having so much fun enjoying Chicago summer and like sitting in in my parents apartment in New York I'm like what am I doing here? Like I I'm I'm like I'm not having fun like I could be there having fun. So the next week I just bought a one-way ticket and I brought my dog didn't have a plan and I just stayed with my friends and was like I'm gonna test this out um and then I started to meet a lot of people in the football community the flag football community and I basically signed up for the fall flag football league before I even like moved here and I was like okay I guess I gotta move here now. So that's that was kind of the the next step and I lucked out and found a really great apartment um that was furnished and yeah that's just kind of how how it went.

SPEAKER_00

Diving in and carving out the new adventure then yeah yeah and so I know that you also I love that you take the approach of like I want to learn everything that I can and like you recognize what a big thing this is to work through and process and handle it in a healthy way because I think so many people do just like okay I'm gonna stuff this down like end up using you know a substance or anything as a crutch to push it down. So you I know you've learned a lot. What are some of those things that you implement now that you've learned along the way yeah I mean that's a great question.

SPEAKER_02

And I do like I do want to just say too like I'm not perfect. I absolutely during those times you know used whether it was um like numbing things at some at some points with food right or like like I'm not perfect. I, you know, have urges and cravings and uh want to numb things and so there were periods of time especially in the fall like when I first came here that you know I would have like a binge at night or something or eat something that you know beyond what I should have and um that happened multiple times right but the awareness of understanding that that wasn't something that could be sustainable to be able to like work through this or you know I'm not a person who drinks a lot but like just going out and drinking more with my friends and the social aspect of that but also realizing that I was probably using it as a numbing tactic. And so again I just want to like preface that that I'm definitely not perfect still you know suffered not suffered but still went through a lot of those things and still am but I think the more you build awareness around it and you can recognize when you're getting into those patterns maybe um I think that's really where like you start to to grow and to improve. But some of the things that I have been doing and you know just continue to try to level up on or you know really just focusing on like a lot of those self-care and self-help things that people talk about like meditation and um you know like I said the the yoga piece the yin yoga has been really um healing for me and that I even look at that as a form of meditation and it's something that I'm like you know I pay a monthly membership for it and so I'm I I like utilize that and something that keeps me accountable right um to showing up there. And even there's days where I'm like I don't want to go to this and I've already signed up for it. It's it's just like that accountability piece and then I come out of it I'm like wow I'm so glad that I went. Yeah um and journaling right um therapy of course um working through just different um different types of self-help books that are uh intriguing to me and um I'm trying now like in the beginning I started I had like 10 different books that I was reading at once and trying to like just you know soak up all the information and then at the beginning this year I I committed to taking a step back and actually like only reading one or two books at a time and really trying to like implement the things that I was reading versus just taking all in all the information not actually you know putting it into practice. So that's something that I've kind of been a little bit more cognizant of is like actually you know reading these things and practicing them but not letting myself kind of go on to the next thing until I've actually implemented yeah absorbed and implemented what I've learned. And so that's been really great and obviously a work in progress. But what's one of your favorite books you've read yeah so I'm I've been reading um I'm on my second pass through uh Tools um the uh it's by um have you heard of the movie uh Stuts on Netflix it's uh it's a documentary about uh Jonah Hill's therapist and the life of his therapist oh yes yes yeah and so that documentary I remember I watched that I don't it was a few months ago and it really a lot of the things in that just like really hit me um and he speaks about the different tools that he uses with his patients to help them work through um their you know mental emotional issues or whatever you want to call it and so I was really intrigued by that and realized that there was a a book that was um a playoff of not a playoff of but uh lined up with the documentary but it's very different than the documentary which I thought it was just going to be kind of like a recap of it but the tools in the actual book are are different than the ones that he goes through in the documentary. Some of them line up but it's a lot more in-depth and so that's the book that I've been working through um and it's basically just giving you different tools to help you um to help you level up in your own mental capacity um and for example one of them is called like the reversal of desire which is where you embrace it's it's basically the close to the saying of like embrace the suck or embrace the pain but you're you're going into a situation and you're knowing that it's going to be painful but you're looking at it through the lens of like okay I can take this like bring on the pain and and and more of like the not the physical stuff right you talk about that like in the gym like go into the gym and like lift heavy weights and like feel the pain. It's more so the emotional like I know that this is going to be very hard and um really like push my emotional mental boundaries but I'm ready for it because I know that if I can get through that and if I can work through that hard thing I'm only gonna level up and I've seen that so many times especially in this last six months of my life like and people talk about this all the time like when they go through a hard breakup or when they go through you know a big change in their life or like go through um into a next chapter um looking back on it a lot of people say like thank God that happened because I learned so much and like I wouldn't be where I am today if that didn't happen. Yeah and so I think that um you know going through the the difficult things and like embracing the hard the hardships is only gonna make you level up more and so being able to kind of flip the switch and say okay I know that this is part of like my growth and my expansion and if I can look at look at it through a different lens and actually embrace the pain so to speak and embrace like the difficult difficulties that are going to come or like the feelings that are I'm gonna feel and still be able to feel them right not numb them but still be able to feel them and like work through that it's you just continue to like get to a different frequency and you continue to level up and um yeah I just I never really like understood that until I actually started to do it and it's pretty crazy.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I think that mental shift to can grow your empathy for others. Like if you think about what am I going through right now that's hard and you think about all the potentially millions of people who are also going through it and how you are actually growing and your level of empathy for an understanding of someone else in this world has grown because you've gone through it now. There's those type of things where it's like okay this is good. Like we're humans having experiences and there's more people out there going through what you are as well.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, 100% I couldn't agree more. And that's something that I'm I'm working through now too and this is like another a whole other thing that I'm working through is like uh actually understanding like empath empathy and being an empathetic person and actually sometimes uh being too empathetic. And so that's something that I'm actually another another area of my life That I'm trying to recognize and and come to realizations of different um relationships that I've been in and things recently is just like, am I actually being too empathetic right now? And and that's just like a whole other area that I've been exploring. Um and it's yeah, it's wild.

SPEAKER_00

Which is good to recognize. I think there's a lot of women who do that. You know, every day they'll just, you know, there's a relationship, someone's having a hard time here. So you listen, you feel it then, or there's a struggle over here then at work, and listen and feel it support. You know, we naturally want to go and support, and then all of a sudden we're just so drained, and it's the end of the day, and then we're drained by family some more, and you just don't have the energy for yourself for like the key relationships you want because there's just been these pockets of take everywhere else. So step in your back and seeing that.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, it's like the the classic saying, you know, you have to put your mask on before your neighbor's mask, or else, you know, that's it, right? Yeah. And that's you know, that's a huge piece of my coaching too, and and the women that I work with. It's like if you're not filling your cup first and you're trying to go fill someone else's, like you're running on empty and it's just gonna run you into the ground. And there's you have to be able to be a little selfish sometimes. Um, and I think that once you can kind of find that balance of recognizing what you need to feel your best and show up your best to your family, friends, work, whatever it may be, once you can find that, that is like it changes everything because you're you're now not running on a battery that is completely drained, like you've you've you know, recharged your battery and now you can show up even better to those other parts of your life. And I think that that's something that took me a long time to to recognize. Um, and I think that I'm still working through that, but it's it's definitely a big thing. Like you need to recharge and like give yourself time to do that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, that's one of those things where conceptually it makes a lot of sense and sounds simple, but then to actually do it every single day. Yeah, it takes work.

SPEAKER_02

It's uh it the all of this takes work, and it's yeah, I think having support and accountability with that is huge. Um, and it's like nobody should be trying to do this alone because it there's time and that's another thing too, like there's necessity to spend time alone, and I think that's something else that I I could t speak to a little bit is just going from literally never living alone ever as an adult. Yeah, um seeing that year in college, yeah, and so like even in college, like I had a roommate, right? So I had never um actually lived alone as an adult until a few months ago. Um, because I I went to my parents for a little bit, and then in August of 2025 is when I like moved into my own apartment. And so that was like a whole other piece of it. It's like, oh no, what do I do now? Um, and so learning to be alone and like to enjoy your own company while obviously processing and going through what I was going through was you know push and pull very difficult things. And, you know, I found myself sometimes isolating to try to become okay with being alone and like, you know, practice that. And sometimes I would just isolate too much and then realize like, oh no, I need to actually like get out of my apartment. Um, and so it's finding that balance, but there is also a piece of just like sitting with yourself and working through things alone that you uh have to do in order to continue to level up, and I think that's something that I've been recognizing a lot more lately is like finding the um like finding the peace and the ability to like enjoy being with myself alone, um, and it not actually feeling lonely, right? And so I think that's like a balance as well, um like leaning on your people, but also understanding like you are like you you have you for the rest of your life, right? Like you're gonna be going through these different things, and if you don't spend the time like becoming your own best friend is the way that I can the easiest way I can say it, like you're going to continue to just feel lost and and look be looking for that outside thing that's going to fill your cup. Um, and this is something that I was actually relates to something I was listening to last night. Um do you listen to Jay Shetty?

SPEAKER_00

Yes, I have not consistently, but he's good.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah. I yeah, I just I started listening to him a few months ago. Um, and he talks a lot about like different relationship and self-help stuff and all that. Um, but he was talking, he had an episode about like manifesting love, and um a big part of it was talking about how like uh when people go out like dating and looking for relationships um or like the people they're attracted to, um, it's it's actually, you know, more so reflects where you're personally at from like a nervous system perspective, or like if you're feeling chaotic and drained and you don't know like what you want, you're gonna attract that, right? And so it's that's why like people who go through relationships, yeah, they go through different relationships and they're always like finding themselves in the same patterns, right? And they're always ending up with someone that you know is not right for them or not good for them, and but they don't recognize that until months later, right? Obviously everybody's their own individual, but um, it's just recognizing that if you're looking for uh that outside kind of um I don't know, like something from the outside to fill your cup, you're coming from like a place of lack and you're not actually um you're not actually gonna be you're not actually gonna find something that's really gonna show up in the way that you want to for the long term. So you have to it's the classic like work on yourself and figure yourself out before you try to go, you know, be with somebody else because it's just gonna probably turn out not great in the end.

SPEAKER_00

So yeah. That's such good advice. And I know we're at time, but it there's so many things I could probably talk to you forever. Is there anything else that we didn't touch on that you wish we would have?

SPEAKER_02

Oh my gosh. I mean, I feel like I don't know, there's so many different things. I'd love to talk, clearly.

SPEAKER_00

Um That's why you're a good podcast host. You'll have to just come on later. We can do a second episode later on. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I think I mean uh right now, just in in my life, there's so many things that are like in in transition, and then I'm just I feel like I'm continuing to like recognize things a lot faster uh with where I'm at. And I think it's because I've just been open to like open to them, right? And open to like, like I said, open to the pain, open to the change, and like just embracing all of the things, whether it's good, bad, disappointment, um, something I'm I'm unsure of, the uncertainty, and just like trying to fully um what's the word? Um there was a word that I was using and I now I'm losing it, but basically just like letting it happen, right? Just it just uh oh my gosh, what's the word?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I kind of get it.

SPEAKER_02

Surrender, surrender is the word like just surrendering to what is happening and taking it in and feeling the feelings, letting them pass through, trying to learn from all of the different things, and yeah, just surrendering and and continuing to try to be as aware as possible. Cause yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And there's a calm that comes with that type of living, I can imagine, even if you know you're not dealing with something crazy where you can just observe and be and not try to force, then I think I mean, I just think of daily life like that. Like if I pull off some pressure and not try to force the day and all the things into it, but you can observe and be calm. Like it's just a very different lifestyle and approach that feels way better and mentally stable.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, a hundred percent. I think with entrepreneurs and and people who run their own businesses, like that's one of the things that's so hard because and this is something I found myself in the last few weeks when I I basically hired um my own business coach to help kind of push things forward because I was at a very much a standstill. Um, and I I needed that next thing, like something that could challenge me again and and like kind of light a fire under my ass to like get like keep building my business. Um, and so I invested like a good chunk of money in uh a business coach mentorship. Um, and then all of a sudden I went from like not doing kind of just the things that I wasn't like originally doing and kind of like the bare minimum for a little while, and then all these things, and I'm like, oh my gosh, this is so exciting! I want to learn all these things and do all these things, and found myself like starting to work like really, really late at night, and then grinding draining myself, grind mode, and I came like a few weeks even last week. I just like kind of sat back and I was like, this is not gonna be sustainable. I need to take a step back and get back into like a flow that makes sense and realize that you know it is it's the the exciting things are not, you know, and the fulfilling things are not the end goal, really. And this comes back to body composition and all that. It's like actually, you know, the saying and enjoying the process, like really fully kind of diving into that and like really just enjoying all of the different pieces of it. And I think that once you can get into that headspace where you are actually enjoying the process and not trying to like push yourself so much that it becomes fun again. And yes, there's things that are stressful and things are gonna come up and deadlines that you need to hit and things like that, but once you kind of like flip that switch in your brain and you're you always kind of come back to like, okay, I'm like I'm doing this and it's long term and I need to be able to sustain it. And I think this goes for business and body composition, right? If I'm not enjoying what I'm doing and learning from it and still pushing myself, then it's it's just I'm just gonna burn out. And yeah, that's not good for anything.

SPEAKER_00

So yeah. And I love that because if you also think about like how do you work every day on the life that you want to live? So there is the destination of stuff you're striving towards. You always want to grow and be better, but how do you want to live it every single day? And like most people are like, Yes, I don't want to live in chaos every single day. Some people I actually have heard say yes, like I love that, I want to be in the chaos, I want to do it. But for most people, I think they don't want to live in chaos. And so, how every single day do you check yourself and you're like, did I live today the way that I want to live every single day? Because all of a sudden we're gonna be 10 years down the road and you're gonna look back and be like, oh, did I just hate the past 10 years, even though I have this, or did I love every single day because I worked on it that much?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I agree. And I think one thing that I implement uh and highly recommend is the five-minute journal. Have you ever used that?

SPEAKER_00

Yes.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, I think that's such an easy way to like check yourself because it's very simple in the morning. I do that every morning, you know, you do the three things you're grateful with, grateful with, grateful for, you do a daily affirmation, and then at the end of the day, you kind of reflect on the day. It's like three things that happened that you real that were great. Um, and then it's just that that short reflection period at the beginning of the end that allows you to kind of bring things back into perspective. Like, okay, was today actually what I wanted it to be when I when I sat down this morning with the clear head? And then you can continue to refine and become more aware each day.

SPEAKER_00

I literally have that one and I also use it. And what I love about it is also the planning, or maybe it's the get shit done one, but it's very similar, the gratitude affirmation. But then you literally write what would what can you get done today that would make it a win. So just writing down the like two to three priorities, you know, don't get crazy. Like today, what what can you do? Then it has you work through like, okay, I can't do 70 million things that are in my mind and on my to-do list. Like, this is what today's gonna be to be successful. You schedule it in so you know where it goes, and then you can check them off because there's actually space and time and clarity for it. And then boom, you know, you like close that out, you can do the same tomorrow. There's just like set something so refreshing to your point of writing things down, getting out of your head, journaling, you know, just like putting that down and being able to turn that page and just box in what's actually doable in one day is awesome.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, a hundred percent. Um, I did there was one more thing that I've really been focusing on lately that I just want to voice because I think this is something that finally like kind of understanding this and and recognizing this. Um, it's called like the kind of ident identity shift uh practice or exercise. And it in simplest terms, it's you know, thinking to who you want to be in, like who you want to show up as in pe people say like five years from now. For me, like five years is just a little bit too much. So I'm like, okay, in two years from now, like who is that person? Like who what are they doing when they wake up in the morning? What how do they feel? Right? How are they showing up? What are their non-negotiables every single day for their health and mental well-being? And literally waking up every day and becoming like practicing what that person does and already doing it, versus saying, like, I will become this person. No, I am this person. What does that person do every single day? How do they feel? You know, how do they move through their day? And so if you can think about, okay, who who does who do I want to be in two years? Like who does that, what does that person do every single day? And then you start and you write that down, you reflect on that, and then you actually start to like put yourself in that, right? It's not like I'm going to do this. It's I am doing this right now because this is I am this person in two years. And so when you can shift your identity to that, and this is what I a lot like a lot of the work that I work with my clients through, like the identity shifts, um, because I think that it that's like the main thing, right? If you're continuing to live as the person that you are right now or were, and you're doing you're practicing these habits, like your body is gonna stay there, right? Your nervous system only knows what's safe, knows what's safe and wants to stay in the safe. Like they want to stay where it they it wants to stay where you're like you know what's going on, like you recognize that. Um, and it it's it happens subconsciously, right? And so if you can consciously practice being in like being that person that you want to be in two years and and shift that identity now, like that is what actually moves things along, you know. So good.

SPEAKER_00

So what did you write down?

SPEAKER_02

Oh, there's tons of things. I mean, it's it's just thinking of first of all, also recognizing the person that you were years ago versus the person you are now. And so even just simple things like you know, I like now I'm I'm a person who I get 10,000 steps minimum a day. And like there's nothing that I don't like, there's I I get it done. And even if I'm like don't even realize I'm doing it, like I know like subconsciously, I've programmed myself to know how to get 10,000 steps a day minimum, whether it's spending a little bit of time on my walking pad or like taking my dog on a walk or whatever. Like you've habit down. Yeah, I've built that into my being, but maybe five, five years ago, I was actively still trying to do that. So it's like, okay, what are those things? Like, what is the person in two years when when you wake up in the morning, what what do you do? Like, who is that person? Do they uh what are your non-negotiables, right? Is it getting 10,000 steps a day? Is it, you know, I I'm a person who goes to the gym minimum three times a week and lifts weights because I know that it helps me to continue to work towards my most confident body and self and feel strong and feel, you know, again, confident in in my whole being, right? What are those non-negotiables? And then you bring that back to now and you like actively start doing those things and you then transition into that identity, right? Slowly or fast, depends how aware you are. Um, and yeah, so it's just like even small things like that. Um, or like I am someone who wakes up every morning and um journals for 10 minutes. I write down like my feelings. I don't, I am like my myself two years from now does not look at my phone first thing in the morning. It's you know, I give myself at least an hour to do other things, and and that's like something that was not me six months ago, right? And so that's like recognizing those patterns and like and then you start to see the benefits that come from that, right? You start to see, oh, how do I feel, you know, this past month when I haven't looked at my phone the first thing every morning and I've actually spent time on myself and doing the things that bring me peace and bring me more into that person who is um in alignment with with who I want to how I want to feel, right? And so, yeah, those types of things.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I love that. One thing that brings up for me is very similar is I want to be a good sister, a good daughter, a good friend, and so and give back, like be someone who's supportive and just yeah, gives back to people and helps people. And so I think that I have rooted down, just like you were saying, into like I want to be that person and maybe I'm not perfect every day. But then when I am in situations, I can clearly see like, oh, this is like a friend who needs extra support. Like it is very clear then to me. Like, what action do you want to take right now? And there's 80 million things going on in my life, but like what is the priority? And making that a priority or sending a note or you know, whatever's needed in that specific moment, it becomes so clear when you have those type of things kind of figured out ahead of time.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, a hundred percent. Having like the clarity that you build from just like I in my opinion, just like simple journaling or doing brain dumps or just giving yourself that space to to think and spend time there, it like nothing else you you can't benefit from anything else better than like doing that, in my opinion, from a mental health standpoint.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, you're the greatest project you'll ever work on. Yes, 100%. Well, Rachel, well, thank you so much for coming on. Uh again, I absolutely love your podcast. So if any women want to check that out, it is the best talking all things, physical and mental fitness. I'll put everything in the show notes. And thank you so much again for coming on. Thank you so much for having me. This was so much fun. Thanks for listening to another episode of Find Your Fuel. If you enjoyed the show and want to support us, please leave a comment or review. And before we go, I have to give you the obligatory medical and legal disclaimer. This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. The advice and recommendations we discuss are not intended as medical advice and do not replace the treatment or care of a physician or any other primary health care provider. Using the information shared today does not create a doctor-patient relationship and it should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problems. Always consult with a qualified health care professional before making changes to your diet, exercise routine, or medications. The use of any information provided is solely at your own risk. So, in a nutshell, let's be smart and remember these stories and conversations are for educational purposes only to help other women find the fuel to live their best lives. We'll see you in the next episode.