How Women Over 40 Can Lose Fat When Nothing You Used to Do Works Anymore

Do you feel busier than ever, yet suddenly unable to handle the stress, workouts, and endless to-do lists like you used to? Welcome to life and fitness after 40.

In this episode, Erin sits down with Stephanie Crassweller, founder of Vitality OET and Hormone + Menopause Functional Health Coach, to unpack why the strategies that used to keep high-achieving women afloat—pushing harder, cutting more, sleeping less—stop working once hormones start to shift.

Stephanie walks through your capacity bucket: why your stress tolerance quietly shrinks in perimenopause even when nothing else in your life has changed, why progesterone (not estrogen) is usually the first hormone to drop, and how years on birth control can leave your body without ever producing it naturally.

They also cover why HRT won't fix weight gain on its own, how one bad night of sleep can spike insulin resistance by 25%, and the nervous system resets Stephanie actually uses to stay out of fight-or-flight.

Resources from this episode can be found at: https://www.fuelwitherin.com/podcast/v/episode-30-how-women-over-40-can-lose-fat-when-nothing-you-used-to-do-works-anymore

CONNECT WITH STEPHANIE

Instagram | ⁠@vitalityoet.stephanie⁠

Website | ⁠www.vitalityoet.com⁠

Podcast | ⁠www.youtube.com/@metabolismandmenopausepodcast⁠

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Disclaimer: The information provided in this podcast and its show notes is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended as medical advice or as a substitute for the advice of a physician or other healthcare professional. Using this information does not create a doctor-patient relationship.

Do not use this information to diagnose or treat any health problem or to prescribe any medication or treatment. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional before making changes to your diet, exercise routine, or medications, or before starting any herbal or nutritional supplements. Statements regarding dietary supplements have not been evaluated by the FDA and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. The use of any information provided is solely at your own risk. This disclaimer also applies to any of the guests on the podcast.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

This wonderful thing called perimenopause happens and our hormones start to decline. And as that starts to happen, the bucket shrinks. And so now our capacity is a five, but you haven't changed a single thing in your life. So you're still living at a nine. And so now this bucket is completely overflowing. And you are like, oh my gosh, I'm not doing anything different. And all of a sudden I'm freaking exhausted. I'm not sleeping through the night anymore. I am gaining weight like crazy. I am so bloated. I am so irritable. I feel anything like myself. And then we push harder because we're like, oh my gosh, I'm gaining weight. I've got to cut calories. I've got to cut carbs. I've got to fast. I've got to do all these things. But all those things are stress on the body. So you were living at a nine out of 10. Now your capacity is five out of 10. But now adding all those things puts you at a 12 out of 10.

SPEAKER_01 0:49

Welcome back to Fuel with Erin, the podcast for women looking to level up in midlife with data-driven fitness, nutrition, and real-world health experiences. I'm your host, Erin Martin, and today we're talking all about why it can be so hard to feel energized and at home in your body after 40. Today, our guest is Stephanie Crassweller. She's the founder and CEO of Vitality OET, a functional nutrition and hormone health coaching practice that's built specifically for women in perimenopause and postmenopause. She's helped thousands of women understand why their bodies stopped responding to the strategies that used to work and what to do instead. She's also the host of the Metabolism and Menopause podcast, which is where I found her. And I absolutely love her content because she has so much knowledge about the science behind how our body works and what we're going through after 40. And so today I pick her brain on why it's not just about calories in, calories out, the best way to lose fat and that stubborn belly fat after 40. She answers questions like why does my body not reflect how hard I actually work? And then all the tips on what we can do to feel energized and fully aliven again in our body's identity and purpose. I wish I had another hour with her. It was so good. So if you enjoy this episode as well, please share with a friend and drop a comment and we'll dive in.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

And I am like 30. When I am 40, I'm gonna have all this free time and it's gonna be great. And I'm like, no, like life does not slow down and you think it's going to, and you're like, wow, I didn't realize how privileged and all the free time I had until it's gone. Especially once you have kids, it's a whole different ballgame.

SPEAKER_01 2:43

Yes. And so it seems just cruel that either you get through kids, you think that a hard part is done, and now you can actually start living again, and then you almost get hit by a Mac truck because you don't have that energy. Like your body's changing. A lot of people don't even realize this is happening. And so, like, what is going on?

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Oh man. So I feel like in today's day and age, we are so caught up in the whole, you know, keeping up with the Joneses and always wanting better. And wanting better is not a bad thing. I think it's good to be ambitious. I think it's good to want to pursue things. But we get in this point where like we're just trying to do it all. And everyone's like, oh, but you can have it all. You know what? What if I actually don't want it all? I think that's like a very um, you know, misconception that we have. And like women are just, we are taught from a young age to like do everything for everyone else, but you also have to be thin and you also have to be the best mom and the best wife, and you also have to take care of sick and dying parents, especially when we get into this age. And so we're dealing with appointments for them, appointments for our kids. You know, we're probably scheduling appointments for our spouse. Um, we're just doing so much all of the time. And before we could totally handle it, because luckily we had hormones that would just buffer everything for us. We were in a position where, you know, we could really tolerate a lot. And so I really like to think of it as almost this sliding scale, this bucket. And so you have this bucket of like capacity, essentially. Um, and so we're we'll talk about it in terms of like stress. And so before you had this nice big bucket of capacity where you could hold so much crap, yours and others, to be completely honest, right? And so let's say it's like a 10 out of 10 scale. Once that overflows, this is where we start to see things like cortisol really start to increase, our inflammation starts to drive up, um, our energy starts to decrease. We start seeing our blood sugar gets worse, hormone production declines, our liver detox gets worse, our thyroid slows down, our sleep goes to crap. But like we were good because we had this nice big bucket. We had this 10 out of 10 capacity, and we're like always living life at a nine. So we're good. We don't surpass capacity, we're fine. But then this wonderful thing called perimenopause happens and postmenopause and our hormones start to decline. And as that starts to happen, the bucket shrinks and sonara capacity is a five, but you haven't changed a single thing in your life. So you're still living at a nine. And so now this bucket is completely overflowing, and you are like, oh my gosh, I'm not doing anything different. And all of a sudden I'm freaking exhausted. I'm not sleeping through the night anymore. I am gaining weight like crazy. I am so bloated. I am so irritable. I feel anything like myself. It kind of feels like postpartum, but kind of worse because I don't know why I feel terrible. And then we push harder because we're like, oh my gosh, I'm gaining weight. I've got to, you know, I've got to do these things. I've got to, I've got to cut calories, I've got to cut carbs, I've got to fast, I've got to do all these things. But all those things are a stress on the body. So you were living at a nine out of 10. Now your capacity is five out of 10, but now adding all those things puts you at a 12 out of 10, which doesn't uh doesn't equate the bucket getting smaller or less full, right? And so the way we have to approach just life in order to have energy to make our body good at taking food and turning it into fuel in order to be able to lose weight completely changes. The whole strategy now is let's make this bucket bigger, let's increase our capacity, and let's also focus on scooping things out so we have room to add the stress of exercise, add the stress of a calorie deficit, add room so that if something bad happens, which unfortunately, let's face it, our parents are gonna pass away one day. There's probably gonna be some bad health outcomes that pop up in your family or friends. Like there's going to be things that happen in life. You need capacity for that to happen. Because what we saw with COVID was a lot of people were already living at their max capacity. The stress of the pandemic completely pushed them over and they're like, COVID did this to me, the pandemic did this to me. I'm like, uh, actually, that was the stress test you failed because you didn't have the capacity to withstand those things. And so this is where a lot of people, you know, do do the approaches the wrong way because the way we increase our bucket is by, you know, pressing against that current capacity. You kind of have like this ceiling. And so it's almost like a balloon. You have to blow into it slowly to kind of expand it. So then you have room for things to go. But if you are just so overshot past your capacity, you're not slowly stretching it. You just broke through the ceiling. We didn't actually like slowly nudge it up. And so this is where we have to pull people back within where their capacity is, which if you tell a high achieving, busy woman who's done everything always to you don't have the capacity to do this anymore, they want to punch you in the face. They're like, Who are you to tell me that I can't handle this because I can handle this? I've been handling this for the last 30, 40 years. I've always had to handle it, right? And so when you tell them they can't, they're like, um, F you, basically, right? They're like, absolutely not. But we have to bring them below where their current capacity actually is. Improve everything functioning, lower that bucket, how much stuff is going into it, focus on scooping things out, increase that capacity slowly, and then we get to a position where you are actually able to even experience weight loss, experience energy, experience good health. But so many of us are just like, I need to fix this now. And you are so far past what the threshold is, and it's hard because no one's told you how your hormones affect these things. And you have to understand that estrogen, progesterone, they affect every single system in your all 12. All 12 systems in your body. And so obviously, that's going to have an impact on how the body functions. Um, predictability goes away in terms of like what you used to do isn't gonna give you the same results anymore. Like you need to change it because the way the system functions is fundamentally different now. We have to pay attention to the areas that are most impacted with hormone decline. Make sure we're supporting those areas. It's not just, oh, let's add an estrogen. That's not gonna matter if your liberty toxification is poor, if your inflammation is bad. Adding estrogen into a position into a body like that typically makes symptoms worse. And so it's about understanding how much the internal dynamic and environment changes. Understanding this whole capacity thing, which is the hardest trying to tell someone to stop working out is like, they're like absolutely Steph, I'm fat. I'm what do you mean stop exercising? Are you insane? And I'm like, listen, trust me, we've done this with so many women. You're gonna, if you can get better results by doing less, would that not be the best case scenario? Absolutely. Why are you fighting me on this? And so it's it's just understanding this whole difference in environment and what we're actually working against because a lot of people have no idea. They're like, oh, just fast. And I'm like, do you understand what that does to the system though? When, you know, all these cogs and wheels are different now. It's gonna respond differently.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

Yes. And I think especially when it comes to your body and health, so many people just think like, okay, I'll work out more and eat less, or I'll just do the playbook that used to always work. And it's like, no, there is a different playbook that works. And I love your analogies. Like the bucket analogy, all of your analogies and metaphors are the best because you make really complex things simple. So I was also wondering if you can explain to the estrogen and progesterone and what's happening over time with our bodies as we get closer to menopause. Because I think that would lay a good foundation of that playbook that we need to get into and we'll talk about. Totally.

SPEAKER_00 10:17

Yeah. So progesterone is gonna drop first. Um, and this is where, like, when you're having your periods, you're not gonna, you could still have a period and not ovulate. And you could the only way you make progesterone in the most part is from actually ovulating. And there are so many women, I mean, look at the infertility now. There are so many women who have periods who do not ovulate and their progesterone is chronically low. This was me in my 20s. I had no freaking idea how messed up my body was. And then once I started learning everything, I was like, oh, this explains literally everything. And so the first thing that drops in perimenopause is gonna be your progesterone. But we see in so many women that progesterone is so low from so early on. First reason is women are put on um birth control super easily, which, you know, that is going, I'm oh man, I was on it for over a decade. Such a mistake, also had no idea who I was. I was just like the shell of myself walking around. Um, but when your progesterone, when you take birth control, your natural progesterone production goes down. So your brain is like, oh, we're getting it artificially. I don't need to like do things, right? So you're not getting your estrogen production, you're not getting your progesterone production appropriately because you're not having a real period. It's just a bleed, right? And so what we're seeing is your body never gets true progesterone. And birth control, progesterone, not the same as progesterone. It actually has opposite effects. Um, you're obviously not going to get pregnant because you're on birth control. But you know, you're you're gonna have more inflammation, which is the opposite thing that you want. Progesterone helps you sleep and brings inflammation down. Progesterin, very inflammatory, negatively affects sleep, negatively can affect mood, can cause way more fluid retention. And so we're seeing a lot of women already struggling with this. And so then when they, you know, are approaching perimenopause, their body hasn't produced progesterone in so long. They go on birth control, and like then you really feel it because your body, like, kind of thinks you get it through birth control. And then when it goes to, oh no, you actually have none, you feel horrible. I will never forget sitting in my bed. And my husband, our kitchen is like just kitty corner from our bedroom. And I'm just like sitting in bed, just all of a sudden to start sobbing out of nowhere. My husband like pops that around the corner. He's like, What's wrong? I'm like, I don't know. And he's like, uh, uh, just let me finish making this sandwich. And I'm like, uh, okay. Like I will never forget that. And I'm like, oh my gosh, this is terrible. My body is all over the place. And so progesterone starts to decline first. Estrogen will start to decline, but it's not this like slow, steady decline that we see in progesterone for the most part. Some people will just fall off a cliff because stress is so high, tanks are progesterone.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

But and real quick, progesterone, is that um even with birth control, is it IUD? Is it the pill? Like all of them. Because that's another big thing is I see so many women and me included transition to an IUD later in life, but then unknowingly, then still hurting their progesterone, then it sounds like.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

Yeah, because it's supposed to be like, it's supposed to stay localized, right? But let's be honest, you put anything in your body, it's gonna go everywhere. Um, but it's still preventing you from getting pregnant by like um putting the progestins in there so your body isn't ovulating, so you're not producing natural progesterone. Um, which again, I did that for a really long time, which like sweet, yeah, fantastic, right? The things that we find out so much later. Yes. Um, and so progesterone decreases like pretty steadily. It's like more predictable. Estrogen, on the other hand, she is she is a beast to contend with. When she decreases, it's like an engine sputtering. It's like sometimes it's really high, sometimes it's really low. And so it's almost like if you were to view a roller coaster that's going up and down, has these huge highs and valleys, it's still going in the downward trajectory, but you still like some days it'll peak, some days it'll drop. And because progesterone is low, even if your estrogen levels look low, but estrogen is so much higher than progesterone, then we're in this like estrogen dominant state, which like every woman in perimenopause is going to pretty much experience unless your estrogen just like falls off a cliff as well, but you're gonna see this like sputtering. And so what happens is we get these brutal estrogen dominant symptoms. And these are not fun. And this is actually very common in women who have like PMDD, endometriosis, all of those things, because we know those are associated with inflammation and poor liver detoxification. And so what happens is when estrogen gets broken down, it can go through three different roads. And so you have one road that like you feel fine. So this is like the girls who like don't have PMS and they feel great on their periods, not a big deal, life kind of continues on, and you're like, I don't like you because you don't understand. Um, and so the people who favor this pathway, it's like estrogen works the way it's supposed to, everything's great. It's like open road highway, like you know, sunroof is down, hip wind blowing in your hair, like you're having the best time. Then you have pathways two and three. And if your body breaks down estrogen through this pathway, even if your estrogen looks normal, even if your estrogen is low, you will have estrogen-dominant symptoms. So this is more like a like sketchy alley, like potholes, like you are not getting out of that unscathed. And then the other one is more like this like backed up traffic jam. You are getting nowhere fast. It's just like gridlocked. And so, with both of these roads, what happens is there's tons of inflammation, lots of oxidative stress, which can like really affect our DNA, can lead to chronic conditions. We don't want that. Um, and it also leads to the PMS type symptoms, the bloating, the breast tenderness, the mood swings, the crying for whatever, watching a sad dog commercial on TV. Um, we're irrational. The rage can get really crazy. And so the fluid retention, the bloating, the scale going up and down. This happens with estrogen dominant symptoms. This is where you can take lab work and like you look at your bloods, and it's like, okay, progesterone's low, estrogen is low, but you're having all these crazy symptoms. It can be because estrogen is going down the wrong pathway, or you can have too much estrogen compared to progesterone as well, which is causing these symptoms. And we see this a lot in women, like in their teens, in their 20s, it is so common, like how much women are struggling with their periods, with their cycles, with all this inflammation and stuff. And it has a lot to do with is your liver able to detoxify this? And so if you are going into perimenopause in a pretty healthy state where, you know, everything's functioning the way it should, which let's face it is super not the norm anymore, unfortunately, like you won't have as severe symptoms going into it. But some women have no idea that they're actually dealing with liver issues, that there is this low-grade inflammation, that they are actually struggling with blood sugar and they've they've never known because you can test, you know, your sugars and stuff, and they can be normal, but you can be insulin resistant because we want to look at how much insulin is actually in your body. That's way more important than what the actual blood sugar levels are. Because is your blood sugar level normal because your body is like functioning properly, or because your body's flooding so much insulin that it's that it needs that much to regulate your blood sugars? That's insulin resistance. Your body isn't responding to a normal amount of insulin. And so a lot of women have these underlying things that then when estrogen and progesterone start to drop and fluctuate, it exposes everything. It is like estrogen pulls back the curtain and she's like, listen here, Stacy. This is what I've been dealing with for the past 20 years. You're welcome. I am done. Not my problem. I'm making you aware of all these things. It's like the boss who doesn't know everything in the business is like going to crap because they've never really paid attention to what's going on underneath the level. They're just like, oh, looking at the top line number us, oh, we're making money. It's great. When really everything below them is like falling apart until like the one employee who's like really the person holding everything together just walks out and you're just like, holy crap, this has been going on for how long? How did no one tell me? That's basically what's happening in perimenopause. And then women try to, you know, address it by doing the whole increasing pasture capacity thing, which does not work in this time of your life. And so it's a very um, again, a lot of the things on how your body responds has to do with how you're going into perimenopause. And so being proactive is one of the best things. I love when a woman comes into our program and she's like, I'm kind of starting to have my sleep bug me. I'm kind of having this, and like I just want to like deal with stuff now. I'm like, oh my gosh, I love you. This is fantastic. I'm so glad you're being proactive. Cause then we get women who come to us who have been struggling with things for years, trying to lose weight for like five years, sudden weight gain that came out of nowhere. When we're at that point, your body has been struggling for like a minimum five years, for sure, if not more. And so that's obviously going to take longer to address, and that can be really frustrating. And so, my biggest advice to anyone who is listening to this, if you want to be proactive in your health, highly recommend like hire a coach for a small amount of time that knows what they're doing and can assess these things and see the red flags before you do. Because I promise you, like you could tell us how's your stress, sleep, energy digestion. I can tell you exactly what's the thing that's going to break you in perimetopause. Address that super early. And then you don't have that like Mac truck moment where you wake up one day and you're like, holy crap, I'm 20 pounds heavier. And it's always people who are like, I never thought this would be me. I've always been healthy, I've always been fit. Those people are the overachievers, the ones who exercise a ton, the ones who are like very type A, honestly, are sometimes the people who have the worst time going into perimenopause because they are already at that rim of capacity that once their hormones dive, it's it's not a good time.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

Which is hilarious because that was exactly me last year. I was training for a 50K, you know, working mom. I launched this podcast. I mean, so many things where I was like, oh, in hindsight, there was a lot that I just loaded on. And I mean, there was But they're all healthy, right? Yes. That's the thing. They're all healthy. And I could cruise like that for 15 years beforehand. So yeah, that idea of like you need to pull back or change the way you're doing things is wild. And that's why I love so much of the information you give too, because I think HRT is having a moment, which is great. And there's such a good use case for it when needed, but it's not the whole story. So I think a lot of people are thinking, like, oh, perimenopause, I need HRT. It's like, ooh, there's a lot more. Like, there is a lot more.

SPEAKER_00 20:41

You have to prepare your body for HRT if you want it to work the right way, but also HRT is not going to make you lose weight. HRT is fantastic for symptom management, great for like, you know, bone density and things like that. If the internal environment allows for that to happen. Like if your body is inflamed, your liver is struggling, you are not sleeping well, you're not eating enough calories, you're not getting enough protein, you're not getting enough carbohydrates, you're not exercising, HRT probably isn't gonna do much for you. I'm gonna be honest. Like we've seen it time and time again where people have been like, okay, I'm, you know, doing all the right things and I'm still really struggling because they're like, I, you know, I was told this was gonna help me with my sleep and it's gone to crap. Right. And it's like, okay, the this is why. It's not that HRT is bad, it's that your body literally can't use it, break it down, absorb it, get rid of it the right way so that it can actually, you know, do what it's supposed to do. And I think that's where a lot of people go wrong, even with like GLPs and stuff, and even peptides. People are like, oh, this is the thing. But did you create the environment for your body to actually benefit from it? And the other thing too, with like the GLP peptide stuff is do you want to be on it long term? If you come off of it, have you done the things where you're confident you're gonna be able to? Maintain the results. If the answer is no, that's a big red flag because that means you're probably not maintaining muscle mass. That means that you're probably not, you know, doing the things that are actually going to improve your health because you can take that stuff. But, you know, if you're not working out, you're still not getting the benefits from the exercise and you're losing a lot of muscle mass, that too, if your GLP dose is too high and you're eating too low calorie. You know, there's there's all these things that if you're not on addressing, it's not gonna do much. That's like taking ashwagandha when you're really stressed out. Oshwagandha isn't gonna do crap if the continuous stimulus you're sending to your body is stress, stress, stress, stress. Like ashwagandha is not gonna do crap. Yeah. And so you need to change the stimulus that your body is responding to. And I think that's one of the biggest mistakes people don't really understand is that your body responds to medications based on all the other signals that it's getting. And like 90% of people, the signals your body is receiving is not for good health, is not for getting out of a stress state, is not for regulating your blood sugars, is not for improving your sleep. And so we need to make sure that, you know, what signals are you actually sending your body? Because that's a huge missed part in all of the treatment pieces. It's this is why naturopaths have gotten such a bad rap is because they they're not changing the signal, they're just giving you supplements. You're not gaining weight because you're missing a specific supplement. You're not.

unknown 23:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:31

People like this is so good. And I know that you work with thousands of women. So when you talk about building capacity of that bucket and then taking things away, like what's the biggest thing that you see that women need to take away? And then on the flip side, like how do you expand that capacity slowly?

unknown 23:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:49

So I think a lot of people think it's like these huge, really big things. And a lot of the time it's just all these little small things that add up. Like if you think about it, if you ate a piece of cake every day, there's no way that's not gonna add up in the long run into something not super great, right?

SPEAKER_01 24:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:05

If you add in, you know, 20 push-ups every day, that's eventually gonna add up to some pretty decent outcomes, right? And so we wanna make sure that we are addressing like the big rocks in most people's life. And most people, it's just you are doing way too much. And so it's taking stuff away. It's actually giving your body time to recover from workouts. Like for myself, I have tried so hard because I'm like, man, it'd be so great to just do upper body one day, lower body the next, do four-day, four-day workout program, upper body, lower body body break, upper body, lower body break. I cannot. My body cannot recover from exercise that quickly. I need three days a week, full body, minimum one day break in between, because otherwise, the inflammation and from exercise, which is good inflammation, it just accumulates and stacks on top of everything else. And I cannot get it down enough. And an inflamed body holds onto fluid, you gain weight, it makes it really hard to, you know, burn fat, makes it really hard to regulate your blood sugars, makes it really hard to sleep, makes it really hard to build muscle. And so for me, it's reducing exercise. So for a lot of women, it's reassessing what that activity looks like. Um, a huge one is sleep. This is probably one of the most impactful things to help improve your inflammation, your cortisol, your hormone production, being able to build muscle. Because just one poor night of sleep makes you up to 25% insulin resistant the next day. And so you could eat the same thing yesterday as you did today, but because you slept poorly, your blood sugar is gonna be more dysregulated. If insulin stays elevated, it keeps you in a fat storage state. We know it's also gonna increase your inflammation. It's going to lower leptin, which is the hormone that tells you that you're full. So you're more likely to overeat. And leptin also tells your body to burn fat. And so we're seeing that your body never gets that fat burning signal. And then ghrelin, your hunger hormone, increases. And so you have so many things working against you just because you didn't sleep well. And so this is where I'm like, if you're a person who's struggling with sleep and you're working out in the morning, we're not doing that anymore. At least not until we have created the space where you are sleeping well, you are fully recovered, our energy is good. Then we can go back and like slowly start adding in those morning workouts, but they are being more detrimental to you because you're not able to get the sleep that you need and it's affecting you for the full 24 hours after. That's way more impactful than what's happening in your workout when you're in a hyper-inflamed, like cortisol dysregulated, blood sugar dysregulated state. So sleep is huge. And this is, you know, finding things to lower your stress. Like removing stress isn't going to happen completely from our lives. Like, we can't help that, you know, we've got sick and dying parents, there's bills to pay, you know, our kids are pissing us off or whatever they're doing. You know what I mean? Like, there's always gonna be stresses. And so it's understanding how can I regulate my nervous system? And sleep is a huge part of this, but we also have to actively do things to pull us into that rest and digest portion of our nervous system. And so this is where, like for me, faith is huge. So, like for me, I spend time in like my Bible every morning. I like to do a devotional, I'm doing a Bible reading plan, whatever that looks like prayer. That actively keeps me grounded, brings me into like a place where my heart rate and breathing rate decrease. Other things that are shown to do this are spending time in nature. That means like not walking with your headphones in. We're looking at reducing stimulation. So when's the last time? I love when people listen to the podcast, don't get me wrong, but when's the last time you went for a walk without yeah, something in your head? Right? When's the last time you drove without music on? When's like when when do you actually sit in silence? Is do you always have background music on? Are you scrolling, like removing those things? We don't realize how stimulating. I did this, I did this thing um where I actually didn't use social media for three days. And it was crazy how many times my body, like my mind would just like I'd open my phone, first thing I'm gonna click on Instagram, like stop doing that stuff. Like, what are you doing? Um, I have an aura ring. The three days that I did not scroll on social media, I spent like two hours less of stress in my day in that stress state.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 28:03

Which is insane. Just from Instagram, which I love. Go follow me, please. But you know, like we have to be mindful of these things. Um, it also is like, what's the music that you're listening to? Is it very stimulating? What are the lyrics? How does it make you feel? What are the things that you're reading? What are the things that you're watching? Who are the conversations that you're like, you know, the people that you're surrounding yourself with? All those things impact our nervous system so much more than you think. This is making sure you're eating enough food. Low calorie state keeps you in that fight or flight state. It's, you know, making sure that maybe before you get out of your car to go like, you know, be with your kids, which sometimes can be like a lot. I don't know about you, but I have toddlers. And so, you know, sometimes you're a busy day. I have to take eight slow deep breaths before I walk into that door because sometimes you walk in and they're just so great and so wonderful. And other times you walk in and they're crying and they're screaming. And it's not super great, right? And so it's taking these micro moments of peace to like literally slow down. Like, when is the last time you actively spent just two minutes lowering your heart rate and breathing rate? Taking those slow deep breaths, just laying down on the floor before you like, you know, leave your office, whatever it might be. Um, it's these really small, underrated things that people don't realize actually impact us so much. So it doesn't have to be like these crazy protocols. It's like, put your sleep in, pay attention to what's like actually stimulating your body, do a brain dump of like what actually needs to get done. Cause when we're in this like very hyper like stress state, like I don't know about you, but like when I'm overwhelmed, it just feels like I have so much to do. So much to do. You don't know where to start, and you're just like, oh, there's so much. And so I do a brain dump of like writing everything down. I'm like, what actually is the priority? Because when we are stuck in this fight or flight state, it makes our body think everything is urgent. Everything, even if it's not, our body thinks everything is urgent. And it is so much more easy for our body to slip into that once we're in peri and post-menopause. And so being able to write stuff down and be like, what actually needs to happen? What's actually the priority? If I don't get this done today, what's the worst that can happen? Awesome. I don't have to answer that email right now. It's actually not as urgent as I think it is, right? And so it's all these things to just actively slow down. Then you can do like vagus nerve exercises too, like humming is really great, singing, doing an ice pack on your chest or the back of the neck is super easy because I don't know that I'll ever get in a cold plunge. I'm gonna be honest. I just don't think that that's gonna be. I know.

SPEAKER_01 30:24

I'm always still winter, but I'm not, I haven't gotten there either.

SPEAKER_00 30:28

Yeah, I'm I'm like, you might have to pay me to get into one of those. I'm gonna be honest. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:32

And what I love about this too is I think people, or at least me, my brain always goes to okay, nervous system regulation, like relaxing, like reducing stress from your life. And I go to either massage or like reading or like walking with a podcast, but it's like, no, like it's actually maybe a reframe is not relaxing, it's removing stimulation, like you're saying.

SPEAKER_00 30:55

Again, it's absolutely paying attention to your whole day. Yeah. It's like like where what is causing like audit your inputs? I think that's always like the best thing to do because we focus on what we're doing as opposed to like what's around us. And so it's like, you know, what is what is causing all these things? And like, is there people in your life that you might have to have better boundaries with, which is the hardest thing as a woman? Um, because we're told to be nice and not rock the boat and just like go along with things. And I gave that up so long ago, um, which can cause some problems, but I'm very firm on like, you know, this is my time. Just because I'm available, like my calendar calendar is open does not mean I'm available. And like I'm gonna spend time with people who like, you know, you feel good after you leave. No one likes leaving something and just feeling exhausted and drained. That's a sign that there's something in that environment, whether it's people or topic of conversation or where you were or what you were doing, is like not good for you. And that can be really, really hard, especially when it's family. But sometimes having that distance and space can be really helpful. Um, but it is. It's just, it's just reassessing all the inputs that are coming into your day and just uh like navigating that more so as opposed to like adding a ton of stuff. Although I will say the the super underrated things of like slowing down your heart rate and breathing rate for like literally eight slow deep breaths, breathing as slow as possible, those micro moments of like reprieve from your body help train your body to know it can actually flip into that state. And it can actually feel um like unproductive for a lot of women. Like we find rest very challenging. Yes. Um, at least I do and a lot of my clients do. It's like this isn't productive. And it's like, no, it is like this is what your body needs, so that you have the capacity to be able to do more and show up and do what you want to do. Um, but it's, you know, it's finding these moments of like reprieve and it can be really challenging when you're going through this healing phase of like reducing stimulation, of trying to manage stress better. Because for type A women who are go, go, go, high achieving, are are like very ambitious, are handling it all for everyone, scheduling the appointments, all those things, those are all dopamine hits, right? Like they are like check mark, boom, accomplished, I feel great. It like validates who I am, it makes me feel appreciated. It's like dopamine, dopamine, dopamine, which is like your motivation and reward system. And so then when we start to take away that stimulation, people will start to feel very flat and almost like depressed. And that can be really, really challenging to navigate. And this is where just like walking around, being spending time in nature can be helpful. So those are more like natural dopamine hits, doing things that are creative. So whether that's like a crossword puzzle for you, whether that's, you know, cross-stitching, paint by numbers, whatever that might be, finding some like creativity, those kinds of things, and getting dopamine that way. But it's almost like rehab, to be honest. So it's like, you know how with like a drug addict, for example, they are they need a bigger dose every time they do it to get that like high, right? To get that same level of like, oh, feeling alive thing. We're the same way with the like the checklist, the dopamine, all those things, the high achieving, go, go, go, always giving woman. We're the exact same way. And it's like this cortisol dopamine hit. And so we're taking that away actively to heal your body. And so now you just feel blah, you you want that next high. And so what we're actually doing is that we're resensitizing your body by decreasing how much stimulation that you're having. So now instead of needing like 17 things to happen for you to feel something, now you only need like five, which is so much more healthy. But we have to allow for that period of like whatever rehab essentially, right? Is what's kind of happening, is allowing that time to get there. But a lot of people just get so antsy and like frustrated in that piece and like just want to feel something. And that's like when someone's in that point, and like, you are so close. Like this shows me like we we have done a good job of decreasing that stimulation. We've done a good job of lowering your cortisol. Like we are halfway there. Don't restart the cycle by like doing all these things, right? And like this is where like binge eating can come into play too. So we're also looking for that dopamine hit, right? And so this is where if you have these desires, let's go for a walk outside, let's be creative, let's do things that like nourish you instead. But it can be, it can be really, really hard. And this is where people will start to swirl too, and they don't realize that like doing that mindlessly is also giving them that dopamine hit. So I'm like, when people feel flat in the healing process where they feel it pressed and they feel down, I'm like, honestly, I'm sorry you're feeling this way, but this is good. This is a good sign that we are like half, we are halfway there. Like just stick through it and now your body's gonna start responding better. When we start adding stuff in, you're gonna feel joy again, which is amazing. But it is this kind of like detox type period that's it's very uncomfortable because our body wants to go back to what it knows. And so if you're anywhere in that journey, know that when you get to that place, it's hard. And I'm totally gonna acknowledge that like it is not a fun place to be, but you are going, like you are halfway there. You've already done so much of the hard work. Don't undo it because then you're just gonna have to restart the cycle again and you're not gonna want to. It's really hard.

SPEAKER_01 36:10

And I think especially with scrolling, the one thing that I always hear is like, oh, well, I have like a good feed and I've curated it. Like it's positive things, and it's like, oh man, like it's just stimulus, regardless. It doesn't matter. Even if it's nothing but awesome stuff, and like Stephanie's and Aaron's in your feed. Like, old stimulation that you have to, or like the news or TV or oh, I stopped watching the news podcast so long ago.

SPEAKER_00 36:39

I have no idea what's happening in the world. My husband keeps me informed, and people are like, Steph, you got another. You know what? Like, if it's really important, someone let me know. But like, I'm the news is not good for my health. No, we don't use it here.

SPEAKER_01 36:52

100% ditto. And that's, I mean, it's also it makes so much sense why so many women in medlife, it's people talk about it being a new opportunity, like a becoming, like reinventing yourself. It's like, well, we're kind of forced to. I mean, like you either figure out your body and figure out your new operating plan and system, or you just kind of struggle and keep going. Or maybe you're this the miraculous one where like your body functions throughout it all, and then I hate you because I wish my my body wasn't the way mine was. But it's it is it's like a cool opportunity to be able to rethink the life you want.

SPEAKER_00 37:30

It's uh I was talking to Dr. Marisa at an event once, and we were just chatting, and she was like, This is a time in your life where like everything's up for renego renegotiation, like literally everything. Um, friendships, you know, career, like what you want to do in your spare time, what you're willing to give up, what you're not, what you're wanting to change, what you're not. And I think like as much as the hormonal decline absolutely sucks. Um, and I know because like when I was in my 20s, everything was postmenopausal. It was, it was so bad when I got my blood work and stuff back. I was like, oh, I am so unwell right now. Um, but like it's it's tough. And it's I don't ever want to like discredit people of like menopause can be so like so hard, like so hard. But it really does force you to reevaluate how you want to spend the rest of your life. Because honestly, like midlife is 40. Like the average person lives like just above 80. Your life is half over. What do you want the second half to look like? And this is where I always talk to people about, you know, I'll never forget when I was hiking, I was, I must have been like 21 or something. Like it was so, so, so, so long ago. And I was hiking in Vancouver doing the grouse grind. If anyone knows what that is, it's just like the world's biggest natural mountain climber hike thing. It's it's fun, but not fun at the same time. You know what I mean? Um, you feel good when you accomplish it. But there was a woman there and she was wearing an 80th birthday sash and she was hiking with her daughter and her grandkids. And I was like, that is what I want 80 to look like. Because what you decide to do in your 30s, 40s, and 50s dictate exactly what 80 is going to look like. And so is it, do you want to lose weight and look good? Absolutely. But I am not willing to do a plan at the expense of what 80 looks like. Because if at 80, you're in a nursing home and you only get to see your kids or your grandkids maybe once a month, and your daughter had to, you know, bribe your grandkids with like candy or something to come see you once a month for like an hour and play Uno in a nursing home. I've failed my job. Like, that's not what I want. I want you to be the one who's not watching the soccer matches from a screen. I want you to be there on the sideline. I want you to be the grandma that takes the kids to the park. I want you to be the one that gets asked to babysit, the fun grandma, right? That's what I want. And so, like, I am not willing to do anything to accelerate fat loss by like an extra five pounds in like a certain amount of time at the expense of what it's going to do to your future. Because a lot of people do not realize that the very strategies that they're doing for fat loss are just creating the perfect breeding ground for disease, for muscle loss. Like we know if you lose muscle, people who have the most muscle will have fewer hospital stays, shorter hospital stays. They have fewer complications in surgery and post op. We know that you have stronger, healthier bones. And so we're decreased risk of falls and fractures, which is huge. We know that you actually have better outcomes in terms of like cognitive health. So like dementia Alzheimer's. Like there are so many things when it comes to muscle mass and preserving that. And so I am not willing to accelerate fat loss at the expense of your muscle just because you want to hit a certain number on the scale. Because I'm not, I'm not about making people in a nursing home. Like I am increased independence living, keeping you off as many, many medications as possible. Live a happy, healthy, fit lifestyle where you have a good quality of life. Your brain is there, your body is there, you're able to do everything that you want. And ethically, it's just not something that I'm willing to compromise on. Some people don't like that. Some people love it. And so that's that's really what I'm here for because I've seen people do it the wrong way and end up with like, you know, cancer diagnosis and like, you know, horrible, horrible health outcomes and, you know, trading literally years off of your life because you die earlier or years off of good quality life where you're stuck in a nursing home for like 10 years. Like that's like for me to for you to lose weight six months a year quicker than what you want. I'm not, I'm not playing, I'm not partaking in that.

SPEAKER_01 41:35

Like, absolutely not. Wild, like what is ingrained with us that we cannot get away from that. I mean, it's like our body issues, our like food issues, like everything just has stuck with us since whenever they developed when we were younger, and we have not been able to shed it. And it's like, come on, like we're 40 here people, like I'm married, you know, like I've, you know, I've got a good family. I'm not like looking for a partner right now. Like, why can we not shed this just drive for aesthetics when there's so many more things that matter? And I think a lot of us have come around to it, but still struggle with the aesthetics piece.

SPEAKER_00 42:14

Well, and I still struggle with it too. And like I have a wonderful family, I have a career that I love, and it's still something that I struggle with. And it's, you know, I think a part of it too is this whole piece of like identity where we didn't grow up, like we weren't born thinking we need to look a certain way to like have worth or be valuable or to be liked. And then somewhere along our journey, something happened. Someone said something, we experienced something, we watched something, we read something, we heard something or whatever it was. And now that became a part of like our identity of what we believe to be true. And it's really hard to change that because you know, we are always going to act in accordance as to what we believe is true about ourselves. And sometimes like the very things that we don't want to be true about ourselves are the very limitations that we fight for. You know, so for example, like I always considered myself a pretty impatient person. Um, I still sometimes do, but I had someone, um, I did this like exercise from a book called David Perceived You Was King, and I loved it so much. It was so great. But there's an exercise in that book that said, um, you know, reach out to some people who are like close to you, some people that you are close to you, but you haven't known for as long, and ask them like what your three biggest strengths are in a story to like highlight one of those things and then like um the biggest impact they've had in your life. And a couple people came back and said patient. And I'm like, what? You think I'm what? And they're like, you are, you're so patient. Like you will chat with people on the internet who like never intend to like purchase from you. You are so like nurturing and you spend so much time on things. Like you are, you are patient. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I am patient. And then now I identify with that. And so now I am patient, like so much more often because I view myself as a patient person, but growing Up, people always told me I was so impatient. And so I just like, oh yeah, I'm an impatient person. And so I acted impatient because I believe that to be true about myself. And so it takes this time to change what you actually believe about yourself. And that changes your actions and how you show up and the way you speak to yourself and all of those things. And so a lot of people are like, oh, I have to, you know, yes, you got to do things to believe, but you also have to believe things to do because long term, if you don't believe you're a person who does X, Y, Z, it's going to be fleeting. You're not going to stick to it. And so even in the coaching process, a very big part of this is like, you need to change what you believe about yourself. And I will keep telling you what I believe about you, but you keep holding on to the very thing that you don't want to because somebody else said it once and you believe them more than you believe me and more than you believe yourself. And so we actually end up fighting for our limitations so much more than, you know, trying to chase and believe the things that we do want to be true. Like imagine how different your life could be if you actually believed all the nice things that people said about you instead of believing the negative things. Imagine how differently you would show up. Imagine the choices you would make, the way you would talk, the relationships that you would have, the risks that you weren't afraid to take. Like you would be so different. And so, like when I learned this, it completely changed the way that I show up, the way that I speak, the way that I do things, what I actually like tolerate and what I don't, because people think not making a decision like is good. No, you're you're tolerating your circumstances. You are choosing to allow those things to happen. And like, yes, bad things happen to people all the time. I understand this. I went through abuse and stuff in my life as well. But now who you are today, the strong woman that you are, the one who takes care of everybody else, like what you tolerate, you are teaching people how to treat you. And so it can be really hard in this journey as well when you're like, no, I'm not gonna tolerate this anymore. They don't know what to do with that. They're like, you know, you're saying no, you're asking for help. They don't know how to interact with you because they're like, Stephanie doesn't do this. Yeah. This is not who she is. And so you also have to give them a little bit of grace because they've never navigated this either. They don't know how to respond to this new version of you. And so you have to, you know, not be like they're not supportive or they don't get it. Like they need time. Like, look how long it took you to get to this point where, like, I'm gonna prioritize me. I'm gonna take care of me. This is what I'm tolerating, this is what I'm not, these are my boundaries, et cetera, et cetera. Now, then that took that took you a long time, but they didn't know that you were like even thinking about these things. And now all of a sudden it's like, this is who I am, and they're just like, what? You just like woke up today and decided. Like, they didn't see this whole internal journey that you're going through. So have some grace for them. But like, this is a huge part as to whether or not you will ever become who you want to become, live the life that you want to live with the like vitality and the vibrancy that you want. That is like that is going to be determined based on that. And so, you know, forget what those people said, which is very hard. I mean, I have things that play in my head all the time, but you know, I have sticky notes on my computer with like affirmations reminding me of who I am and like whose I am and all those kinds of things. And it's really helpful because sometimes you need those reminders because it's the negative things, it takes one negative thing, it takes like 20 positive things to outweigh it. And so you need that exposure and repetition. And this is what I tell my coaches all the time is like, you might get frustrated that a client like keeps hitting the same things and you have to keep repeating. And I'm like, but it takes so much positive reinforcement to like counteract the decades of, you know, negative talk that they've had on themselves, that others have had on themselves. And so who, like, if everyone said all those nice things and you actually believed it, go one day just thinking that you're that person. Like, just watch how different you show up. It is crazy. And the people who do this are always the most successful long term when it comes to weight loss, career, relationships, happiness, everything. And so, like, just show up the way the people who love you and tell you all these nice things, show up as that person. Like, believe them. Like it will change the trajectory of your life, I promise.

SPEAKER_01 48:31

Well, that's so good. And it's so funny because it's you do that hard work internally and externally, like I guarantee it will translate and show, just like you're saying. Like it translates to actual fitness, health, nutrition, fat loss, progress, because you have a lot of the foundations and have done that work on yourself. Well, it makes it easier to do the things.

SPEAKER_00 48:51

Like if you're in a bad mood all the time, I don't want to eat like a salad. I want to have like itchy man noodles followed by ice cream, you know? Like that's that's where I'm at. And so, you know, the people don't, I don't think people take the internal stuff as much, the cognitive stuff, the emotional stuff, because this is why, like, how many girlfriends do you have that like break up with their loser boyfriend and then they have like this massive glow up? Like the stress is gone. They have like more positivity in their life, not in an environment where they're doubting themselves all the time. Boom. Working out is easier, making good food choices is easier, hanging out with the people that you love is easier because you're in a better space. Like, give yourself that glow up. Like you deserve it. And so it's it's more obvious than something like that, but we don't realize how much we prevent that from happening. And so, like, you have to change your beliefs about yourself. Like, stop fighting to be the person you don't want to be. Like, that's really what it comes down to. And when you put it that way, people are like, oh, that's blunt and kind of mean. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:53

Stop mental.

SPEAKER_00 49:54

Stop fighting to be the person you don't want to be. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 49:56

Yes. Oh, so good. And when it comes to the other playbooks that you help coach women do correctly and increase that capacity, is there anything else that we missed or didn't talk about that comes into play that are those foundational pieces?

SPEAKER_00 50:10

Yeah, yeah. So once we kind of like pull everything down and you're like eating enough food, you're having enough of your carbohydrates, we're sleeping enough, we're taking those moments of rest, we're, you know, putting the boundaries, we're decreasing our stimulation, then we're there for a while, right? Which is like, that's the hardest part. We're like, hey, what are we doing next? I'm like, no, we just have to like sit here for a bit. And people are like, I don't like this. I'm like, I know you don't because you've been like go, go, go for so long that like when nothing is changing, you're like, oh, something is wrong. I'm not progressing or whatever. And so once we're in that place, now we start kind of testing your capacity because we never know how long someone kind of has to be in this like reduced state because some people have had so much trauma and so much craziness, autoimmune conditions, all the things where, you know, sometimes like it's gonna take longer being there, which can feel really frustrating, but it's all part of the journey and everyone's journey is gonna be very different. So then we start testing the system to see, okay, have we actually increased your stress tolerance? So this would be usually I like to start with exercise, like, oh, let's try and like push your exercise a little bit and see what recovery is like. Are you still feeling good? Is it gonna negatively affect your sleep? And if like we're finding that's pretty good, this is the place where I might start putting people in a calorie deficit if they're already eating at enough calories, which they should be at this point. Then this is where I'll go into a calorie deficit. And so I always like to kind of stress test the system a bit because there is nothing worse than cutting your calories after doing months of like all this healing and recovery and then seeing zero change. That is the worst. So I always like to stress test and like see, and also life will give you stress tests all the time. So I had a client and like uh she was traveling and like usually she'd come back from travel and like the inflammation would be like insurmountable. Like she'd be up like six pounds from like a weekend away, like drinking or whatever she was doing. Um, and so we were also seeing how quickly did her body like come back to baseline afterwards. And so before it would take like two weeks after like a weekend of like a few drinks, like it was it was bad. Then we got to a place where it was like, oh, three days and boom, scale was down. She was sleeping great, amazing. Like, okay. So all these like hardships that you experienced during the coaching process. And this is why I love, I shouldn't say I love when people go through a hard time, but I I want you to go through a hard time when you're with me because then I can see, okay, how did your body respond? How did it recover? And then what choices did you make? So that way when life happens again, because it's going to, there's no perfect time in coaching. The perfect time in coaching is when stuff is going sideways. Yeah. Um, because then you get to learn how to how to deal with that. And so now we see how your body responds, how it recovers. And so that will dictate a little bit about okay, do we have some more baseline work that we need to do, or are we good to go into a fat loss phase? So, how did you handle travel? How did you handle a bad diagnosis? How did you handle, you know, finding out your sister had to go for surgery or whatever it is, right? There's always going to be these big things. Um, and so if we don't have a life event that happens, I'll usually stress test with exercise first, kind of get the vibe of what's going on, and then we can move into a fat loss phase. But people always view those, those challenges as obstacles, as like these massive setbacks. I'm like, no, this was a stress test. We got to see how your body responds, but also the choices you made. Like, if this would have happened four months ago, would you have made the decisions that you made during that scenario? Whether it was like eating out, was it like choosing to only drink water at an event? Was it to make sure you were prioritizing your sleep, whatever it is? Like, what choices did you make? Because that shows me is that internal identity changing? Are you a person who does X, Y, Z? Yes, because those hard times, when when stress happens, when life happens, you will always react based on what you believe to be true of yourself. Like it is like your automatic instinct is going to be that like true definition of belief of who you are. Like it really shows who you are in a situation when it's high stress. And so then I get to be like, heck yeah, look at how much closer you are to the person you want to be. You like didn't lose your cool, you stepped away from the situation, you still prioritized your sleep, you still got up and got your steps in. Like, that's amazing. You before, you are not the same person anymore. We are like halfway to where you want to be. I'm so glad we got to experience and like see this together. And so you're you're viewing those challenges and setbacks differently because it really exposes how's your identity changed? What habits are you maintaining now? How do you react in situations like that? Because that is, it is a stress test. And it's I I don't like saying I want you to go through a hard time with me, but like it really does expose how much internal work has changed and what your default is now. Because if that doesn't change throughout the process, then you're not going to have sustainable fat loss or, you know, achieve whatever it is that you want to achieve.

SPEAKER_01 54:51

Yeah. Because you will hit those. So you need to have 100% a way to manage them, practice it. And then I also love what you're saying about just having the baseline of having your body primed to lose fat. Like I'm doing my own body recon program right now. I also did an episode to break it all down where I also have a coach because I know so many things. Like I do nothing but geek out on health and wellness stuff. But I was like, nope, like I still just need, like, I don't need someone to hold me accountable, but I do need the confidence and a coach who can be a different viewpoint than inside my head, who's like, okay, like, how did you handle that stressful moment? Like all the things that you're talking about. And so I think through that program, I've really learned, like, oh, there's so much work that you have to do to just get your baseline and your systems ready to build muscle, to lose fat, to have more energy. Like, that's the work. That's half the program almost. This is making sure that's what you're doing. And people think it's so underrated.

SPEAKER_00 55:52

Yeah. People are like, I don't want to talk about that. I'm like, it's so important. Like, you and me, girl, are gonna be best friends. Like, you better tell me everything. I want to know everything that's going on in your life. I don't care just about like your food and your exercise routines, absolutely matter. Like, I also want to know what's going on personally because that's going to impact what you're what the plan looks like and how you're showing up and also what you actually need for support. Cause you think it's just like nutrition and exercise. I'm like, oh heck no. Like sustainable weight loss and like feeling good, having energy, your sleep. It's not just nutrition and exercise. Like it is, it is a whole body experience, whole human experience, emotions included. So it's very important. I get clients like, oh, I'm sorry, I like just dumped all that on you. I'm like, no, this is great. Yeah. I love this. Like, this is what I want to know.

SPEAKER_01 56:40

Yes. And so where else do you see women going long when it comes going wrong when it comes to fat loss?

SPEAKER_00 56:48

Oh gosh. Let's just sell on. You're like, we don't have a lot I think I think it's just like the default stuff that you see is that everyone pushes fasting, low carb, just cut your calories. And it's not understanding that a, those things are never meant to be a long-term diet. Um, they are those are tools that you can use for a short period of time for a specific purpose. It has an end date and it's made for a specific person because like low carb, not appropriate for most women with hypothyroidism, because we know conversion of thyroid hormone relies on a certain enzyme that only gets released when insulin is higher. So therefore, we need carbohydrates for that. Um, and so we want to make sure that we're, you know, able to do that. And so it's it's understanding is it appropriate for you? Because before I think it was a lot easier to be a nutrition coach if you go back like 10 years, because you would have quote unquote, like, I don't want to say easy clients, but like there was like this baseline of like, oh yeah, cut calories, we're good. Cause everyone was like a lot of people were overeating. Now, completely differently. Some of them are seeing, we are seeing women who are working harder than ever. They are, you know, working out hard, they are not eating that much food, they're eating the majority of their food at home. It's super clean and they're not getting results. And everyone's like, well, you're not in a calorie deficit. And like, I could just strangle those people. Like they just really get under my skin because I'm like, okay, yes, we need to make sure that we are burning more calories than we're consuming. But what if your body is actually terrible at the burning part? Like, then your body's throwing the majority as fat. And so we need to understand is your body in a position where it's even going to respond? And so this is where the cutting calories, the cutting carbs, the fasting really backfires for a lot of women. Or women will drop their calories, they start seeing changes and like, oh yeah, this is amazing. I love this. It's working. But then they stay there and then it stops working. And the key for long-term success in fat loss is to come out of a fat loss phase before you hit that plateau. Because if we hit that plateau, now we know that's how many calories your body is default burning now. If you eat above that, you are probably gonna gain weight, which is where 99% of women are right now. And so this is where, you know, you're you're kind of going in and out of fat loss appropriately. You're doing it cyclically so that we're not allowing your metabolism and all the internal systems to get to that point where it sucks at burning calories, especially if you spent so much time working to make your body good at burning calories again. I want to get you in and then get you out before that happens. Give you a short little break and then dive in again and then come out. And people are like, oh, I just want to lose it all in one go. No, because then you are going to gain it back. And so I think one of the biggest mistakes I see is that women doing like extreme diets and then staying there for way too long, like for for full transparency. I have personally never kept anyone in a fat loss phase for more than 12 weeks straight. Like, does not happen. Usually it's like six to eight. And then even in that six to eight, we're doing like some strategic refeeding days to make sure like hunger stays good, metabolism is metabolism stays good, our leptin stays high, that fat burning hormone stays high. Um, so we're kind of like not letting things slow down. But then also after like after six to eight weeks, it's like, yeah, I'm I'm pulling you out and we're gonna be pulled out for like two to four weeks typically, and then we're gonna go back down again, depending on your season. If things are really hectic and you're on vacation, I'm not dropping your calories. Absolutely not. Um, have the gelato when you go to Italy or wherever you're going, right? Like I want you to enjoy that. And so it's it's understanding how to cycle this appropriately because people get so married to, oh, I'm getting results, I'm getting results, I'm getting results, staying there too long, and now you really screwed yourself.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:28

Yes. Yeah. And that was a hundred.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:30

And so I would say it's like one of the biggest mistakes. Oh, I mean, everyone's I've done it. I think every woman on the face of planet is done. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:37

Just like 10 years of just working out too much and under-eating, and then, yes, like boom, past my 40s hit, and I'm like, oh, my body doesn't like this anymore. So I need to do something different, which is why I wanted a coach.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:55

Yeah. Yeah. No, and it's it's challenging. And I think that's the biggest thing too, is like if people hire a coach, if the first thing they want to do is like drop calories without really seeing how your body functions at its like where you're at currently, it's a very big red flag. Um, like you want to make sure you're working with someone who understands the intricacies and takes the time to understand your body. And like we get some clients who get a little frustrated sometimes at the beginning. So they're like, we haven't changed much. So I'm like, I need to see what your body's doing at this current baseline, responding to how your life is, because that's gonna dictate a lot the choices that we make. And obviously, we do like Dutch testing and stuff like that too, which help, but like um to adjust their plan and whatnot. But I really want to get some good baseline data for the first bit, get to know you, understand your lifestyle. Cause like I can make this like plan for you. But like we have to reassess at some point as well, because you know, you might say when you're in your intake form, this is what I do, this is how life is. And then we start working together and we realize, okay, you're actually a lot busier than you say, or you have a lot more stress than you realize, or you're not getting as many vegetables as you thought. And so we need to adjust things. And so the goal doesn't change, but the timeline might change, the strategies might change based on how your body's responding and what's true to real life and what life is throwing at you, the circumstances you're in. And so you really want to make sure that you're working with someone who looks at all those pieces. And again, you can it can feel frustrating, especially when you're used to someone just like adjusting your macros all the time. And it's like coaching is more than that. Like ChatGPT can do that for you, right? Like you need to look at the full picture.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:29

Yes. And I know we're coming up on time, but I have 80 million more questions for you. So I'll try to solidify it to one who can talk to you all day. Um, because you mentioned the Dutch test, and I know that's one piece of the puzzle that you guys like to look for. So, what is the Dutch test? What do you look at? Like, how do you use that as a piece of the puzzle?

SPEAKER_00 1:02:48

Oh man, I love the Dutch test. It was honestly the most eye-opening thing I have ever done personally for myself. And I was like, oh, every woman needs this. And the more that you like, you're always learning more all the time. Like it's it's crazy. Every time you review another Dutch test, you're learning something different because there's all these different patterns and like combinations of stuff that can happen, right? And so, for example, I took my cortisol test blood work, which is like the biggest waste of time, you guys. I don't even bother doing it because it gives you one moment in time. And so when I took it, it was in the morning and it was in the normal range. When I did my Dutch test, that thing was elevated all dang day long. My cortisol was through the roof. Um, but it wasn't because my body was producing a whole bunch. When we looked at the Dutch test, you can see like total cortisol levels over 24 hours and the curve and like throughout the day where the levels are, but it also shows you how much your body is breaking down. So my body, my cortisol levels were higher. My body wasn't producing that much. It just wasn't breaking it down. Like it was struggling so much to break down cortisol that it was accumulating. And so if I would have focused only on lowering cortisol levels, I would have felt like garbage because, you know, like that wasn't the problem. The problem is that my body can't break it down appropriately. And so that completely changed my plan, which was so eye-opening. This is why I don't love blood work for a lot of stuff. Like blood work can give you a lot of great insights, but we don't know how your body is utilizing things. Same with progesterone. Like you have two pathways. You have your alpha pathway, your beta pathway where things can get broken down. And so you can see that on a Dutch test. And so if your body favors the beta pathway, this is the difference of going to a demolition derby versus the spa. Um, and so if you're going on a demolition derby route and you're just pumping more progesterone in your body, these are the women who take HRT progesterone and they feel more anxious, their sleep is worse, they're struggling with bloating, um, they feel wired but tired, where they're like, what the heck? Like I'm taking progesterone, it's not helping. Like, what's going on? So we can see what your body's doing with hormones. Same with estrogen. We can see those three detox pathways we talked about. We can look at androgens and how your body favors stuff. And so for me, if I were like my testosterone was low, but my other androgens were super high. And so they would have been like, oh, you could take some DHEA to help, you know, push things down testosterone route. If I were to take DHTA, I would have had the worst androgen symptoms. Like I would have had like more of like the hair on your chin, more acne, all of those things. And so this is why, like, if you can take a Dutch test before a hormone test or before getting HRT, I'm a big, big fan about it because these are the things that can kind of show us what's happening internally. Because if your body sucks at breaking down hormones appropriately down the right pathway, adding more hormones just amplifies the symptoms you're getting from going down the wrong wrong pathway. So that's just like one example. And so that would be where we like do the Dutch test. We also do like symptom assessments with the Dutch testing when we do this with people, whether they're clients or public orders. And what we do is like we look at all their health history, the symptoms they're experiencing, looking at their Dutch test and putting all that together. Because, you know, lab data without context doesn't mean crap. Like, and vice versa. Like we want to make sure that we are looking at things, you know, strategically. Like actually connecting the dots appropriately. Or like there's certain things that we can see where it's like, you know what, your thyroid might actually need testing because of this pattern. We know that's typically associated with hypothyroidism. Let's go figure out what's going on with your thyroid and get your levels, and then we can address that as well, because that could be one of the drivers too. Um, and so we always want to look at everything all together. And this is where, you know, do we recommend supplements every now and then? Like, I'm not a supplement heavy person. Um, because if your liver is clogged up, it's gotta, it's gotta get like supplements get broken down your liver. So if your liver's struggling, it's probably not gonna go super well. Or if your gut's struggling, you're not absorbing supplements, not really gonna matter, right? And so I'm very big on how do we address the nutrients that we need to make these processes better. So, like, for example, if we want to push people down the right estrogen detox pathway, cruciferous veggies, huge, huge, huge benefit to that. Adding sulforophane to your diet. So things like, you know, your onions, your garlic, things like that. Um, we know that if someone's struggling with, you know, certain things, B vitamins for progesterone, super helpful. Uh, magnesium for helping with cortisol, like there's so many things. So we're trying to incorporate that that through food. Is there like some supplements that you could take? Yeah, like they're just generic. It's like your magnesium, your B vitamins, your vitamin D, like, you know, those kinds of like nothing crazy. Um, it's not usually necessary. It's understanding what we can change in your diet and your lifestyle to make your body actually respond the appropriate way. And a lot of the time, it is a lot of boring stuff. And people are like, well, can't you just like give me a supplement? I'm like, no, because it's not gonna matter. Like it's not gonna make that big of a difference. And so um, it's it's super eye-opening because blood work just tells you how much is there. You have no idea what your body's actually doing with it, the pathways it's favoring. And that makes a massive difference, especially if you're gonna take HRT, like really, really shows us that. And we know if your body's not good at like detoxing and breaking things down, fat loss is very, very challenging because your liver is like not prioritizing that at all. So yeah, so how does a Dutch test work then? What is it?

SPEAKER_01 1:08:02

What's the actual test like that's picking up?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:04

Yeah, so you get like a in our little packet that you get, they're like your urine samples. So you take them at certain times of day and you have to make sure you're not drinking too much water. Um, you want to make sure there's no banana or avocado for like 48 hours with a couple things that are like specific in there that can like mess up the results, but they're literally just like little pieces of paper and you pee on them, you let you lay them out to dry for 24 hours, you mail them back. So they're like dry samples, which is awesome. Um, and then we get your your results back. Usually, like getting a Dutch test can take anywhere from like two to three weeks, depending where you are in the world. In the States, it's usually pretty quick. Um, it's more international where we find like time can be a little bit longer. Um, and then once you get your samples back, you usually test at a specific time in your cycle, unless you're postmenopausal, then you can take it whenever. Um, and then you mail them back. And then once you mail them back, we usually get results within like a week, which is great. And so then we take the time to, you know, fill out the report, make the recommendations, review all your like uh health symptoms and health history and stuff like that. It's so cool. Like it is easily one of the most awesome things that we've we've done and learned. It's just, it's been so eye-opening and it's really great for clients who are type A and they think they're handling everything well, like myself. Then you get the result and you're like, oh, I'm unwell. Yeah. Like you can't deny the papers, right? Like the results, but then you can also retest, which is great, like a year down the road and see those changes. And that's really, really helpful. Like we had a client that was really struggling, and then at the one year point we retested, and it was like she felt like she hadn't made much progress. And like, look at how much better your body is functioning. Like, we are on the brink of like you seeing this big change, but your starting point was like it was a pretty bad place. Like you were pretty deep in the hole. And so it's really helpful and encouraging for people to be able to see that because you know, our brain can play tricks on us and we're just focused on one thing, and having some like concrete data like that can be so beneficial and oh yeah, you know, give you some relief. And it also you feel less crazy where you're like, it's all in my head, I think. Like, why am I broke? And then you look, and then having some answers is honestly like the most validating, and like it just provides you with so much relief of like, oh my gosh, I finally got some answers, which is what everybody's looking for.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:21

Yes. Oh my gosh. I had a guest on many episodes ago where she had taken the Dutch test and she said, I have never felt so validated in my life, you know, after being dismissed by five different, you know, practitioners she's gone to, and it was the Dutch test who got her there. And I mean, it's just such a good reminder of why knowledge is so much power for your body and how it works, and that it can be so complex to tackle. But if you're just eating whole foods and then like trying the random things that you're hearing to be healthy, like I used to do that too. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna try this because it's like all the rage, or I'm gonna try that. It's like, oh, that's like spaghetti against the wall here, people. Like, you can do more precision built for your body approach that's gonna work. Just like spraying and praying.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:10

Yeah, exactly. No, and like like getting the data so you can make a precise plan is like it's is it always gonna go as planned? No, because life's gonna throw you stuff, but you are gonna get there so much quicker than if you try to navigate on your own. And I think that's the frustrating part for a lot of people. It's like, well, I want to get there in this amount of time. And it's like, listen, if you try it on your own, it's gonna probably take you longer than that. If you do it with someone who can like guide you through this or give you some answers, it's probably gonna be quicker, but probably still not as quick as you want because we're so used to like Amazon Prime, right? You order and it's literally at your door the next day. What I like to compare it to is like our body is like the old school Sears catalog, where you had to wait for the Sears catalog to come to your door. And then you go through and you flip through the entire freaking book, circle what you want, you phone in, put in the code of what you want to order, give them your credit card, and then it takes like a month for it to come in. And hopefully the swimsuit you ordered is the right size and it fits good. You know, like that's that's kind of what this is like. But we are so used to the click and it's here the next day. Our bodies aren't that way. Our bodies are the most complex, frustrating, beautiful, and like somewhat simple all together. And like, I love it. I'm just like so obsessed with the learning piece. And I know how a lot of people are like, I don't think it's great stuff. I just don't know the answer. And it's like, tell me what it is. But everything is it depends. Yeah. And everything is gonna be it depends because there are so many factors that are involved because your body is gonna respond to everything that's coming at it. And so, and also what's going on inside of it. And so it takes time to to do and figure out all that stuff. And, you know, you can keep trying to do it on your own, or you can get help from someone and like I've done it, I've gotten help from someone, I've taken courses, I've taken certifications, I have mentors for like spirituality, for business, for health, all the things because you know, I'm going to trade time for money or money for time. I'm gonna pay someone to teach me from their knowledge that I therefore don't have to like flounder around to get, and they can tell me what to do, when to do it, how to do it, collapse time. Amazing. And even if collapsing time means I get something done in two years and I want to get it done in one, whatever. If I didn't have them, I'd probably be, you know, doing it for five years before I figure it out. And so I think it's just understanding realistically what the trade-offs are that you're like willing to make and not willing to make, and understanding it's not just calories in, calories in. It's not just the macro distribution. They're perimenopause, post-menopause. It's a completely different ballgame, completely different environment. And it's it's going to take a lot more effort, unfortunately, which everyone hates to hear, but it does take more effort because it takes more intentionality because of the how the environment has changed. And that may not be what you want to hear, but it's the truth, and then you can either decide to do something about it, or you can complain to stay the same, which like is super blunt, but it's the truth.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:07

And it's happening to all of us. This is not something that you can skip go and collect 200. Be cool if you could.

unknown 1:14:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:14

Oh, Stephanie, well, thank you so much for joining. I literally could pick your brain forever. So I might have to have you on later on another episode. Absolutely. Anyway, where can people find uh out more about you and Vitality OET?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:28

Yes, so we do have our podcast, the Metabolism and Menopause Podcasts. And if you head to our website, www.vitalityoet.com, um, we actually have a searchable podcast database on there. So if there is a specific topic, because I was like, people would ask me for stuff all the time, and I was like, okay, we got I like have a database on my end where I can like search things. And I was like, oh my gosh, what if I made this public to everyone? So now if you have a specific question about like bloating or progesterone or testosterone, you type it in there, it'll pop up every episode that I talk about it in. And we have over 300 episodes. So there's so much information in there. So it's probably one of the best places to go, would be our website, head to the podcast. Um, you can also follow me on Instagram, which is at vitalityoet.stephanie.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:14

I love it. And yes, I we were talking earlier. I binge on her podcast. There are so many good topics like cortisol, inflammation, like how the liver works. And you've got topics on all of that, and then some to say the least. So I highly recommend going to check it out.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:29

Yeah, but have me back anytime. I love podcasting. I I'm like, my goal one day is to get paid just to talk. That's that's the goal.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:37

I love it. Well, you're you're on your way. So I'm gonna take you up on that. Thanks again. Of course. Thanks for having me. Thanks for listening to another episode. If you enjoyed the show and want to support us, please leave a comment or review. And before we go, I have to give you the obligatory medical and legal disclaimer. This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. The advice and recommendations we discussed are not intended as medical advice and do not replace the treatment or care of a physician or any other primary health care provider. Using the information shared today does not create a doctor-patient relationship and it should not be used to diagnose or treat any health problem. Always consult with a qualified healthcare professional before making changes to your diet, exercise routine, or medication. The use of any information provided is solely at your own risk. So, in a nutshell, let's be smart and remember these stories and conversations are for educational purposes only to help other women find the fuel to live their best lives. We'll see you in the next episode.