#31 The Classic Weight Loss Mistakes You Are STILL Making

Girls (and guys) its 2026 why are these still mistakes we are making?!

In any case sometimes it is because we are just so conditioned to a certain way we are not even realising we are doing something wrong.

So we are covering these today

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Tash - https://www.instagram.com/tashalankestercoaching/

Em - https://www.instagram.com/emdiamondcoaching/

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Hello guy guys and welcome back to Mindset Meets Muscle. I'm Emily and I'm with my beautiful co-host Tash. Um, today we want to discuss things that might ruffle a few feathers, but it needs to be said because so many women feel like they have tried absolutely everything when it comes to dieting. They feel like they eat clean, they cut calories, they do more cardio, and they still can't see the results that they want. And it's not because you are not trying hard enough, it's because there are a few common mistakes that keep coming up and they come up over and over and over again. And quietly they could be the ones that are holding you back. So today we're gonna break it down to the biggest dieting mistakes that women make and what you should be doing instead.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

Yeah, and this isn't about calling anyone out, but really just giving you clarity because when you actually understand where you might be going wrong, things will feel so much less frustrating and you'll you'll feel so much more capable and in control of the journey and ultimately your outcome. And a lot of these things might seem like they're the right thing to do just because they've been around for bloody forever at this point, but they're outdated, they're misunderstood, and long term, they're just not effective and they're not sustainable. Um, and if you feel like you have tried everything, I will challenge you to say that you probably haven't tried everything. You've tried the same thing wrapped up in a different package, right? Keto, Atkins diet, essentially these are exactly the same thing. Carnivore diet, not eating after, not eating before 12 p.m. Oh like all of these things, essentially, you're just doing a highly restrictive diet. It's all the same thing. It's just wrapped up and marketed in a different way. So you've actually not tried everything, you've tried the same thing, just worded differently.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

Yeah, exactly that. And I think when you say the really restriction, the big restriction is basically the eating as little as possible. And I think everyone does it at some point in their in their dieting journey. I think a lot of people still do it to this day. They convince themselves that that that's the only way to lose weight. But so many women think eating as little as possible by skipping meals, having tiny portions, trying to survive on fucking rabbit salads is going to be the only way to lose fat mass. And yes, I absolutely understand that will look like you lose weight short term on the scale, right? You will do a day or two days of this and you'll be like, oh my god, I've lost all this weight. Right, babe, you are losing a lot of water retention and you were losing a lot of food mass. I'm not saying you won't have lost a little bit of fat mass alongside with it, but ultimately you are seeing a big drop on the scale because you've literally not eaten a lot of food and you can't sustain that. Okay, it'll eventually backfire. And then you'll convince yourself that you eat literally nothing because you spent Monday through to Thursday eating your salads, but Friday, Saturday, Sunday, you've overconsumed, and then actually you've just cancelled out your deficit because you're tired, you're hungry, you're low in energy, and you overeat. And you don't realize you're overeat, and you're like, I hardly eat any food when actually your calories don't say that, but you feel in your brain, because you've had a diet mentality Monday through to Thursday, that you've hardly eaten anything.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

And do you know why I always say there is nothing more dangerous than being in a dieting mindset when you're eating at maintenance or in a surplus? It's just a recipe for disaster and misery, literally.

SPEAKER_01 3:33

You literally feel like you go around in circles for ages.

SPEAKER_02 3:36

For ages. Yeah, and let's face it, dieting is like dieting's not fun, it's not enjoyable. Like the goal is to get in and get out. So if we are consistently going round in circles because actually we think we're in a diet, but our behavior means that we're not in a diet, we're just stuck in that miserable place. And it's not, it's not a good place to be. It's one of the worst places we can be. People think that they failed because they're not seeing the results and they're just chasing their tail when actually you just need a completely different approach. Like you need enough food. Your body needs enough food to function properly to actually be able to train properly to build muscle and get stronger, which I believe is so possible in a deficit, especially for people that are newer to lifting. But we can't we can't perform well if we're not eating enough food. So instead of trying to eat as little as possible, the goal should be actually how much can we possibly eat but still be in a deficit and lose weight? And that is what leads to those much more consistent results.

SPEAKER_01 4:42

I also think as a society, we are incredibly impatient. So if we're not seeing weight loss in a drastic manner every single week, I have an amazing client. I fucking love her, she's so fucking cool. But she is only 60 kg or 62 kg. She's very, very, very lean, right? And she was like, Yeah, but I want to be losing a kg a week. And I'm like, hun, literally, you're you're there's nothing of you. Like, you you can't be losing a kg a week every single week. It's not gonna happen. Like, you know, she wants to get down to regardless of the weight she wants to get down to, but she wants to lose a little bit more weight, right? She is quite a small person, but for her to be losing a kg a week, she has to be in a fucking huge deficit. Like, this is not gonna be sustainable. She will not be able to maintain that. She also has three children who run around headless and she runs her own company. So she needs a bit of energy. Like, where she's going with losing a kg a week, and I had to say to her, like, babe, I'm really being honest, but that is unrealistic. It's not gonna happen on the calories that you want to sustain on. Also, maintain as much muscle mass as possible.

SPEAKER_02 5:47

I always like to equate fat loss to like a tube of toothpaste. The more you've lost, sort of like the less body fat that you have to lose, it's like the tube of toothpaste is running close to empty. You know, you're there like squeezing out the last little bits of toothpaste. That's what happens when we've been in fat loss for a long time, when we've got less body fat to lose, especially our bodies all have their own sort of like genetic set point that they're comfortable with as well. And some people that's naturally a little bit higher than others. And then it just means that when you're trying to fight against that, fat loss does become much harder as well. And I do think that if you are someone that is in a little bit of a smaller body, you have to be okay with the fact that actually 300 grams a week is probably a rapid loss for you versus someone that's in a larger body losing a kilo a week. You're probably seeing the same differences.

SPEAKER_01 6:37

If you were at 90kg, if you were a higher body weight or on the scale, then yes, you will lose that. But I also think that's another social media aspect is the fact that we think that we're all the same and that, you know, the person that maybe is um on a heavier scale weight will lose the same, the same rapid speed as you. But it's not gonna happen. Speaking of scale weight, I think this is a good one because if you put all your focus on the scale, and don't get me wrong, the scale is useful and the scale does provide data, and it should absolutely be trending down over time. But if we only look at the scale and we don't look at the scale in a general manner of over a seven-day period, you will get frustrated all the time. I have a client who's lost five and a half kg and it's over a space of a year, but her physique has changed so much. Like it's unbelievable. She is without a doubt put on muscle mass. She looks fucking ripped, okay? She's not overweight either, she's lean, but she looks unreal. She is it's five kg. Some people be like, oh my god, that's nothing. No, it's her body has completely and utterly changed, and you will see fluctuations within your scale every fucking day. And if you are only focusing on that, you will be heavily disappointed. This is where people spiral.

SPEAKER_02 7:55

And even with myself, so I recently lost UKG, I think, in like four weeks, which for me actually was really rapid. Like that was fast because I don't have like loads of weight to lose. And I jumped on the scale, I've been maintaining at that lower weight, plus maybe like 500 grams for a good few weeks now. And I jumped on the scale this morning. This morning? Yeah, it was it was this morning, and I was up one kilogram. And I was basically almost back to where I was before I started my diet. And if I had let that get into my head, I would have been like, oh my god, like what's happened? Like, I've just gained back all of this for no reason. Like, I may as well just give up and say fuck it and just go into that fuck it spiral. But no, I just woke up and I was probably a little bit more watery. I ate a massive dinner yesterday. I didn't sleep for as long as I usually do. I then had breakfast, went about my day, came back, and I was like, oh, I'm just intrigued to like step on the scale and see what it says. It was down 600 grams. That's fucking wild, right? I was just holding on to so much water. And I just think that if we put so much, so much emphasis on just the scale and we kind of disassociate from how we feel, we're going to continue to shoot ourselves in the foot. Like, I have a client who is obsessed with the scale, obsessed with the scale, and she almost steps on it now to reinforce her self-sabotage behavior because that's like where she's comfortable. And she'll step on the scale, the scale will be up, and she'll be like, see, you're a fat, you're a fat shit. Like, this is the way that she talks to herself. And then she kind of she reinforces that behavior by by then eating more food or binging. So we've taken the scale out completely. Yeah, no way.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

And and it's funny because I would have maybe a year ago, I would have been like, no, I think everyone should have the scale, but I don't know. I feel like I've changed my mind a little bit on the scale. Like I do think it's important for people to use as much as possible in the sense of understanding data and actually, yeah, the scale sh does change. It it does, right? But body composition also does change. And especially when you've got like I'm talking about the scale with people that are probably a little bit more overweight, okay? Because we should be seeing that scale trend down a lot. But if you are around a lighter weight and you haven't got much fat mass on you, we are really looking at more body composition changes rather than just fat loss.

SPEAKER_02 10:20

Yeah. And I think that there is, there's some people that actually weighing themselves every single day can really help their relationship with the scale. But some people, it can really impact it. And I think it's just important to know where you fall on that spectrum because taking the scale out can actually give you so much freedom. And it actually just encourages you to think, okay, actually, how am I feeling today? And check in with yourself and be like, how are my clothes fitting? And you might be feeling freaking amazing. You might look at yourself in the mirror and think, oh my God, I look phenomenal. I'm so happy with how I look, how my clothes are fitting. I'm just gonna go about my day and I'm gonna nail everything because I feel really on top of my shit. That same scenario, you could have felt that way, stepped on the scale, it could have been 500 grams heavier. You would have had a completely different day because you're that emotionally attached to the scale. So it just really is important to know, like for you to know how the scale impacts you and your behaviors.

SPEAKER_01 11:19

Talking about other mistakes that people make, and I think this is fucking huge, is that people instantly think when you diet, you need to literally live on clean, whole foods all the time. And I am pro-health foods. I'm pro living on vegetables and proteins and healthy fats. I'm absolutely pro that. But guess what? I'm also pro having chocolate every goddamn day of my life, okay? Because I enjoy it, it makes me feel good, it's like fucking orgasms in my mouth. I need it on a regular, okay?

SPEAKER_00 11:56

And so you cut out something that gives you orgasms, you're gonna be miserable. Period. I wish chocolate would give me orgasms. I mean, there's that.

SPEAKER_02 12:14

I think the more the more that we restrict certain foods, the more that we end up wanting them, right? You're as soon as as soon as we take something away, we're gonna think about it more. That's just how our brains work. So we avoid them, we avoid them, we avoid them. Eventually we overdo it and we consume like, I don't know, a whole family sized bar of chocolate. Whereas if you just let yourself have the one square every single day, like that's completely fine. You fit it into your calories and you feel completely satisfied. But we want to make sure that we are always, I always say, I always ask my clients what they value in terms of food. Yeah. And like what really brings them joy, like what's the sole food? And we have to include a portion of that every single day. Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

I had a client who loves chocolate, right? Before she met me, she um she did 75 days hard. She cut out all of the chocolates. I know. I fucking I like, yeah, no. Um, she cut out all the chocolate. She did 75 days hard. And 75 days hard, for those who don't know, is basically 75 days of doing uh some form of exercise every single day. Is that right? It's like one something inside, something outside every single day. Yeah, and it's really intense with the dieting side of things as well. But I think she just basically cut out all sugar.

SPEAKER_02 13:31

I think it's yeah, no alcohol, no processed food, no gluten, no dairy, no one, whatever it is.

SPEAKER_01 13:37

Well, she came out a 75 days hard. She thought, fuck it, and literally has not been able to stop eating chocolate, but to a mass quantity. Like, what is you it's like when people go into a heavy restriction and then start binge eating because they've literally pulled back and they thought, I can't have this, I'm not allowed, da-da-da-da-da. And then instantly your brain's gone, oh my god, I'm free. I can go fucking wild, and you don't have a off switch. And then you're like, but I've done it before, I can do it again. And it doesn't work like that because your brain is a little bit tarnished now.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

It's actually affected from what you've just done. Next one, massive, not eating enough protein. It's huge.

SPEAKER_01 14:16

It's one that's massively overlooked. And I think a lot of women are, and a lot of men actually, are under-eating protein without even realizing it. It's massive and it has a huge impact, not on just fat loss, but again, how your body looks. And so if we are, you know, lean or even if we're not lean, guys, the whole objective of dieting is to lose fat mass, not muscle mass. We know by now that obviously we start to deteriorate and lose muscle mass over the age of 30, and it's quite fucking rapid, okay? And you want to look toned, most people do. If we are losing muscle alongside fat mass, you will not look toned. You need that muscle. And so muscle retention with your protein or eating enough protein will help muscle retention.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

Yeah, and none of this, I don't need to eat protein because I don't resistance train. Firstly, if you're saying that, you need to start resistance training because your health is at risk. And secondly, it doesn't matter whether you're lifting heavy or not, like you need to eat protein. Protein is essential. It also is super, super satiating. So when you're dieting, it makes sticking to your diet so much easier. And we say the number one thing that people have an issue with when it comes to a successful diet is consistency and compliance. And if you have a tool literally that is gonna help you be more compliant, like if someone came up to me and said, take this supplement, it will help you be 60% more compliant with your diet. How many people are gonna be taking that? Everyone, right? That is protein. So you need to make sure that you are, we always say at least two grams per kg of ideal body weight. And if your protein is too low, you are making everything so much harder for yourself. And you might lose weight, but you're not gonna look the way that you want to look. You might just be s have that sort of like skinny fat look. We need the protein.

SPEAKER_01 16:09

Another topic that I really need to touch base on because it is fucking important is people not prioritizing strength training and they are prioritizing cardio. Now, there's absolutely nothing wrong with cardio whatsoever. Cardio is incredibly important, and actually, I think everyone should be doing cardio regardless. But if you are doing hours of cardio classes, running steps, high-rops, fucking HIT classes, I'm not being funny. That is not going to give you the physique you want. You need to be focusing above all exercise on resistance training, period. Cardio has its place, but it does not shape your body. No.

SPEAKER_02 16:39

Strength training is what builds muscle, and muscle is what gives us that look that we all want, that toned look that literally comes from muscle. So if your goal is to change how your body looks, you have to be lifting weights. This needs to be part of your routine. Also, I find when I go and if if I have a day that why did you say fuck's sake?

SPEAKER_00 16:59

I cut out.

SPEAKER_02 17:00

Did you?

SPEAKER_00 17:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:02

I find that if I have a day where I go on a long run, I am ravenous, right? So much more hungry than I am if I've done a strength session. So if you really are struggling to control your appetite and you're someone that's doing cardio like six days a week, it's probably the first place that I would look and I'd cut it back.

SPEAKER_01 17:19

I actually remember when I was doing like longer distance running, I could not control my hunger levels. It was fucking wild. The last thing that we want to touch base on, and I think it's really important, and we kind of touch base a little bit on it about losing like one kg a week, but this is more of a mindset thing, but it does actually affect everything. A lot of people expect to see massive changes within a couple of weeks. And when that doesn't happen, they assume that they're not working, it's not working, the plan isn't working, and that they failed. You have to be so consistent over such a long period of time. And I think people forget that they can easily cancel out their calorie deficit on the weekend, like that Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and then they can do it again then the following week. And then you look at a period of a month and how long actually have you been in a deficit for? Maybe where you think you've been in a deficit for four weeks, it's actually been two. Well, how much do you expect to lose in two weeks?

SPEAKER_02 18:06

Yeah, and I think it's important to note that there's nothing wrong with that, like, right? When when this is real lifestyle change, you're gonna have times where you where you're not in a deficit. You're gonna have times where fat loss is a bit slower, and that's okay. And it should take time. And the slower, more consistent approach where you can actually still fit your life in around fat loss, that's what you're gonna, these results are the ones that you're gonna keep long term. So instead of searching for quick fixes, focus on building these habits that you can stick to and you can continue to come back to. So even if you do weave a little bit off track, you're like, it's okay. Like, I'm just gonna get straight back on it tomorrow because this is how I now live my life and this is easy for me.

SPEAKER_01 18:51

The classic saying of you are not a train, so you don't fall on track off track. This is just your life. Okay, this has become part of your life. Now you approach it as a lifestyle. Don't quit, don't give up. You just reassess, you just carry on as normal. So if you've been feeling stuck with dieting, I want you to take back a step and look at your fucking approach and look at the way you're thinking about your approach.

SPEAKER_02 19:12

Yeah, because it's usually not about adding more or doing more. It's about doing things differently. And like as we said, it's not about eating less, it's thinking about how what's the most amount, the largest, the largest amount of food that you can eat and lose weight. And it's just about being as efficient as you possibly can and things that you can actually stick to.

SPEAKER_01 19:31

Thanks, guys. We are Mindset Meets Muscle, and this has been the biggest dieting mistakes women make.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

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