193. AMA: Postpartum, TTC, Period Recovery, Baby/Newborn Tips!

In this episode I answer your questions about postpartum, motherhood, newborn life, my hormone health/period recovery and MORE!

Transcript

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The way that it's going to go through is we're going to start with kind of trying to conceive pregnancy transition into postpartum, talk about my period a little bit, hormone health, talk about breastfeeding. There were some questions about that. Um, and I think it's interesting, newborn sleep, kind of how she's sleeping, her life, that kind of thing. And then we'll kind of round it out with motherhood, general baby needs, and um stay-at-home mom life. Welcome to the Knight Fit Podcast. I'm your host, Emily Knight. I'm a running and strength coach whose primary mission is to help runners reach their goals and maintain their strength without sacrificing their true health. On this podcast, we talk about all things health and fitness so that you can stay up to date on some of today's latest research. I host inspiring guests, drop solo episodes where I explore pertinent topics and get to the heart of many of our questions around what it means to chase our fitness goals and prioritize our wellness. So sit back and get ready for an awesome conversation. Hey everybody, and welcome back to the Night Fit podcast. How's it going? Um, it is currently 8 54 a.m. when I'm recording this. Lainey is down for her first nap. She usually wakes up, honestly, right now it's been between 5 and 6 a.m. Um, just because she goes to bed at like 6.45. So we're trying to get her to go to bed closer to 7 p.m. And then maybe she'll sleep until at least 6. But so she wakes up between 5 and 6, and then she goes down for her first nap usually around 8, sometimes 7:45, sometimes 8.30. But she's been down for about 30 minutes now. So I'm taking advantage of this nap to drop in and record today's episode, which is the honest postpartum new motherhood fertility update. Ask me anything. And this one drops at the end of June. It is currently the end of May when I'm recording this. So we're approaching five months postpartum. Well, she was born on January 1st, so it's super super easy to do the math on how many months postpartum I am. You just go to the first of each month, which is actually interesting because usually you go in weeks, at least you did when you were pregnant, it was like I'm 16 weeks, or when she's a baby, it's like, oh, she's six weeks old. And so technically she's over, you know, 20 weeks, which would be five months. But if you're going in weeks, but because she's born on the first anyway. So yeah, we're almost to the end of May. Laney's doing really well. Um, she sleeps like a dream. We're gonna talk more about that. She sleeps through the night. Can't really complain. Life is um pretty good, all things considered. My dad did pass away on May 4th, and we had his celebration of life on May 16th, which was absolutely beautiful. Um, it couldn't have gone better. I actually spoke at his um funeral, and that was one of the hardest things I've ever done. But also, I know he would have wanted that. Um otherwise, weather has been beautiful here in Minnesota. It's been very hot. We've had a heat kind of heat streak these last few days. This week specifically, it's Thursday now, since about Monday. It's been in the 80s, like far 80s, almost 90 degrees every single day. And that's that's a lot for me. I'm not a huge fan of that. I'd prefer the 70s or even the 60s, so um, but otherwise, gorgeous weather, weather my dad would have loved. And May was his favorite month. Um, but yeah, kind of just rambling a little bit before we dive in. You guys submitted some awesome questions. I chose the ones I think are the most fun, but also maybe all-encompassing. There were some repeats of specific types of questions, so I kind of just consolidated them into categories, and I'm just gonna kind of talk through them. And the way that it's gonna go through is we're gonna start with kind of trying to conceive pregnancy transition into postpartum, talk about my period a little bit, hormone health, talk about breastfeeding. There were some questions about that, um, and I think it's interesting, newborn sleep, kind of how she's sleeping, her life, that kind of thing. And then we'll kind of round it out with motherhood, general baby needs, and um stay-at-home mom life. So that's kind of the layout for today's episode. So without further ado, let's just dive right in. How did the first question is how did you cope with the months of trying to conceive while still recovering? So for those who aren't aware, I had hypothalamic amenorrhea, which is a missing cycle due to underfueling my body. And I had to recover my cycle, and I talk a ton about that on the podcast. I have a ton of episodes about period recovery specifically. Definitely worth listening to. Actually, in the show notes, you can find an episode guide with all of those episodes. Highly recommend if you're here for that, um, or you're trying to conceive right now, or you're trying to get through HA, whatever it is, go give those episodes a listen. So it was it was difficult. I had five cycles total before we conceived. Um, and I would say I had one or two actually viable cycles, if you will. They were 28 to 35 days in length, those two last cycles I had, which makes it much more likely to get pregnant. Um, the first three cycles I had during period recovery were 50-ish days long, which when your cycles are that long, by the time you ovulate, by the time your egg is released successfully, the odds that that egg is still viable and likely to be fertilized is very low. And so I would say we got very lucky in that the second cycle that I had that had really strong chances of pregnancy, or at least the highest I should say, chances of pregnancy that we conceived, I feel very grateful. Um, but I would say just the whole process of recovering my cycle to trying to get pregnant, I saw that whole time period kind of as when I wanted to be pregnant. So we got married and I kind of we were, we wanted some time. Don't get me wrong. We wanted some time before getting pregnant. I did too. But shortly thereafter, we were kind of ready. And so for me, the actual process of trying to recover my cycle and then trying to conceive felt much longer than just five cycles, right? Um, and I would say I coped by trying to be where my feet were, right? And I think that's easier said than done. And what I mean by that is being present in the moment you're in, being grateful for what you do have, the life that you do have, what you're doing. I tried to just invest in my husband, invest in our marriage, invest in our friendships, focus on healing, focus on the joy that comes with healing. So eating more, being more spontaneous. I tried to focus on what I had that I was grateful for and blessed to have. And I undoubtedly and undeniably wanted to be pregnant so bad. And so it was absolutely hard just waiting. Waiting is difficult. But the best thing you can do is just focus on focus on what you do have. And I don't want to repeat myself or be the dead horse, but that's definitely what I did. Um, I talked with people, I was kind of honest with people in my life that I trusted about what I wanted, and they prayed over me, they prayed for me. I focused on the journey of healing in and of itself. So just things I could control, the controlling the controllables, that is, getting my cycle back, controlling the health of my cycle once I had it back. I focused on those things. So doing all the things I could. And I think that gives you some purpose, is when you're doing all the things you can to heal. It gives you something to focus on each day that isn't getting pregnant, right? And like I said, I think all in all, we were very blessed in that within a year of our marriage, we were I got pregnant. So that was a huge gift. Actually, it was we celebrated our one-year anniversary of our wedding, and I was actually five weeks pregnant, so very fresh, right? So we hit a year and I was able to conceive. And you know, that said too, I didn't even have that many cycles before we were lucky enough to get pregnant. So yeah, and I think those are my just my kind of my advice about trying to conceive is just focus on what you can control, be present, try to focus on the blessings that are around you. Um and yeah, tell people, connect with people, get people in your circle involved, have them pray over you, or just be there for you to support you, and also connect with others you know who are also going through that journey. It's difficult, and it will pay off. So you got this. How was a transition from pregnancy to postpartum? So I actually had a very smooth, wonderful pregnancy. Um, all things considered, right? I first trimester, I had some nausea at night, a little bit of acid reflux, but I had a pretty great first trimester, second trimester, pretty great as well, third trimester, just some sleep issues at the end. You get really pregnant, that tends to happen. But overall, I was super active. I felt really good. I had definitely had aversions for the first little while. Those got better. Pregnancy was smooth. I felt very physically good. The transition into postpartum, I would say, for the first five to 14 days was really, really tough. I had pretty debilitating anxiety. I wasn't sleeping well, even when Lainey was sleeping well. I was just kind of nervous. I was in my head. It's a huge life shift, especially when it's your first. And I know even when it's not your first. And so I struggled a bit. I think the things that I did wrong were I didn't get outside soon enough. So I didn't even look at the sun. And I she was born on January 1st. And so it was dark, it was cold, it was the middle of winter. I was already struggling with the dramatic drop in my hormones. But not getting outside enough, not seeing the sun, not getting exposure right to the wind, to feeling I didn't go outside for I think eight days. I was inside for eight days. I lived in my bed, I lived on the main floor. I just I did not do anything. And I think had I at least gone for more car rides or just like sat on the front porch, even in the cold with my jacket on, and just got the sun on my face, felt the wind. I remember the first walk I took was five minutes long and I was on day eight postpartum. And just feeling the wind on my face and seeing the sun dramatically changed my life. So I think if I could do it again, get outside sooner, feel nature, get grounded, touch the earth, especially if you live somewhere warm enough or your baby's born in a place warm enough, get outside as soon as you can. I don't think I realized how dramatic not being in the sun, the impact that that has. I think, you know, especially postpartum. Also, the hormone drop is it's difficult. And I I'm now five months postpartum. My estrogen is very low right now. I am feeling the impacts of that. I'm doing everything I can to get my cycle back. Um, however, I breastfeed almost exclusively. And what I mean by that is she is literally on my boobs almost exclusively. I pump one time a day in the morning, and that gives me a little bit of autonomy because my husband and I tur take shifts working out. And if she wakes up when he's working out, then I feed her with the bottle. But if she wakes up when I'm working out, then he feeds her with the bottle and it gives me just a little more freedom. But then otherwise throughout the entire day, she is breastfeeding. And so I have very high prolactin, I'm assuming. Because I breastfeed, I don't use formula, I don't use, and she's not old enough to eat yet, not quite, almost. Um six-month is kind of the turning point there. Um, I have not recovered my cycle yet. And so, and that was a question that I got a few times. No, it has not come back. I'm five months postpartum, coming up in five months, and um, that low estrogen has had a very kind of dramatic impact on my body. I'm definitely experiencing the hair loss. I'm very insecure about it. I don't like it. My hair has never felt this thin. It felt this thin probably back when I had HA, like really bad. Um, so I'm not enjoying that. I have definitely a brain fog. My brain feels a bit slower. Mom, mom brain is definitely real. I am not sleeping as well as of the last few weeks. Um, I think my room is too hot. So that's something I'm gonna hopefully experiment with. We're having trouble keeping our house cold enough. Like it gets very cold on the main level in the basement, but the upstairs, when it's almost 90 degrees, just doesn't get cold enough at night. Um I yeah, there's just some stuff, and I was listening to a podcast the other day on Mel Robins. Um, absolutely recommend listening to it. It's the ultimate guide to female hormones or yeah, female your hormones. And the guest talked so much about how when you're breastfeeding, you are essentially in menopause. And so because I'm breastfeeding so much, my prolactin is so high, my ovulation is being suppressed, I'm experiencing all the symptoms of living with HA or menopause again. And it's very unenjoyable and it's extremely motivating to get as healthy as I can. And I'm excited to slowly wean her breastfeeding down. Um that said, I want to breastfeed for at least a year. So I am very much aware that some women um who breastfeed, no matter how much, um, their cycle doesn't come back until they completely wean. So I'm very much aware that that could happen to me. I'm hoping and praying that is not the case. I'm doing everything I can to get my cycle back. I'm keeping my movement regulated and um five, four to five times a week, I'm exercising that is lifting or running. I am eating so much, 28 to 3,000 plus calories. I am controlling my stress. I'm getting at least seven hours of sleep. If I can get a nap in, if I need to, then I try to do that as well. When she's napping, um, I'm focused on all the macronutrients, fats, carbs, and protein. I am getting sunlight on my face. I am taking supplements, I'm taking a postnatal bi-parallel. I am taking AG1, so getting all my greens in, my micronutrients, um, controlling my stress. I am doing everything I possibly can to get my cycle back. And now that she sleeps through the night, she sleeps 11, 12 hours, or at least she's doesn't eat for that long. My there is a higher chance that it could come back. So I am pulling all the levers I personally can to take care of myself. I'm very in tune with my body. I listen to my stress levels. I really am going through HA recovery in a sense, with the contributing factor being my prolactin is high because I am breastfeeding and that's out of my control. I cannot control that because I choose to breastfeed and I want to and I want to do it for my daughter. So that is working against my cycle recovery, and I I do not know yet. I've never been through this before. I've never been postpartum or breastfeeding before. I don't know how my body reacts to prolactin. So while I'm doing personally all the things I can to recover my cycle as if I have HA or I'm, you know, living in a menopausal state, I'm doing all the things I can, as I just described. I'm still working against this prolactin that is in my body. But from all the research I have done, kind of that six to 12 hour window of not breastfeeding should help, right? Because a prolactin should dip a little bit over time. And especially when she hits six months, she'll start eating a little bit, just a little bit here and there, and we'll hopefully wean my breastfeeding even more, which just raises my chances of recovering my cycle. So it is my number one goal right now to recover my cycle, to get the estrogen back in my body. Um, because I just having estrogen, having progesterone, having fluctuating hormones like a normal menstrual cycle, it is so, you feel so much better. So I am working so hard. And what I mean by that is actually doing all the things I should be doing hormonally, you know, that support and bolster and aid and hormone health. I'm doing all those things so that I can take care of my body. And so to answer the question, have I got my cycle back yet? No, I have not. But the average cycle return is like nine to 12 months for most breastfeeding, especially exclusively breastfeeding women. And I, like I said, I'm not trying to repeat myself. I'm aware that some women, it doesn't come back until they completely stop. And that's completely out of their control. There's a genetic component to that. There is a each person's body reacts differently to prolactin. And so I'm hoping I'm not one of those people. I really am, and just going to continue controlling the controllables. The question was: can you um apply the same philosophy that I am postpartum to getting my cycle back to HA recovery? And I would say yes. Obviously, do all the things you can. Um, rest enough, eat enough, sleep enough, don't over-train, fuel appropriately, get your micronutrients in check, eat enough healthy fats, don't overstimulate, like not too much caffeine, things like that. But it's not the same in that you don't you should not have prolactin in your body if you're not breastfeeding. And so your chances of getting your cycle back are much more controllable than me. So they're different, they're very different in that way. Fitness approach postpartum. How does it work with Laney? I train four to five days a week. I do a full body, a leg day, and an upper body day. And then I run um two to three days a week. And it's going great so far. My husband and I take shifts in the morning, so he'll go first. Most mornings he'll wake up and go. He prefers to go wake up and go, whereas I prefer to have a little bit of time so it works out. Um, he wakes up and goes downstairs to lift. We have a little mini gym set up at home. Um, and while he's doing that, I kind of have my morning, I have some food, I have some water, coffee, and we wait for Lainey to wake up. I pump. And then when he's done, either I have already got Lainey if she woke up, or she's still asleep, and then I start working out, and um he gets Lainey, and we bottle feed her. So either I bottle feed her or he does, depending on when she wakes up. And that time is I get like an hour in the morning, is great. And I do that probably mostly five days a week. Um, the other two days, the rest days, I go on a walk um with either with Lainey or when she's napping, I just walk laps around the block with my camera on my phone. And um that's kind of the setup right now, and it works out very well. I have a very supportive husband, and if you're looking to train, especially if you only have one, I only have one right now. I know things are gonna get thrown up in the air, right, when I have more than one. But if you only have one and you have a partner who's willing to help you make that training happen, it works out very well. And I think that's why the pumping in the morning is great, is it gives me a little bodily autonomy. He can feed her from the bottle while I get some exercise in. It's good for my mental health, and then he actually goes to work by eight, so it's um he has to leave before then, but that kind of shift really works. And I recommend working with your partner or um anyone in your life who can help for like an hour a day or less, just to give you that time, take care of yourself. Um what have you noticed about your hormone health overall? I think I kind of touched on this, but because I have not recovered my cycle yet and I still have. Lots of breastfeeding going on. I don't like how this feels, and it's extremely incentivizing to get my hormones back up. I think this is just like a keen reminder of what it was like to live in HA. And also it gives me foreshadowing to when I am in menopause, which I'm not looking forward to whatsoever. Um so I would say just give yourself some some grace, especially postpartum, especially if you choose to breastfeed. You it's extremely demanding on your body as well. So you're gonna need to eat a lot more than you think. It's probably unwise to go into a caloric deficit if you're breastfeeding, um, especially too dramatic of one because it requires so much from you and it takes a lot of micronutrients from you. So if you do go into a deficit, make sure you're either supplementing or just being cognizant of getting enough nutrients in because it goes into your breast milk. So you need it as well. Um, I just uh, you know, the hair thinning, the poor sleep, the brain fog, the all the symptoms of low estrogen are not ideal. Um, but there are things you can do. Okay, how did learning to breastfeed go for you and Lainey? Um, actually, so well. I feel really lucky in that she took to breastfeeding instantly. When I had colostrum, literally the second she was put on my chest, she started breastfeeding very well. She's a great eater, she always has been. And now that she even with the transition of my milk, she's been a great feeder. She feeds relatively efficiently and quickly. I probably feed for 15 minutes each time she does feed, which is now like five to seven times a day. Um, and she's very efficient and she gets a lot from me. I make the most milk in the morning. Um, it went very smoothly. I really can't complain. I had definitely had some nipple soreness in the onset, but I use silverettes. Highly encourage you to use those. And over time, my nipples somehow they just don't hurt at all anymore. Breastfeeding is not painful whatsoever. I think you really have to gut it out for the first few weeks until your body kind of adapts to it, especially when you have engorgement and your breasts fill, and um it's especially difficult in the first few weeks when you're pumping or emptying your breasts more than she's actually feeding. That was really hard. I would wake up at night and have to pump even when she was fast asleep because they hurt so much, they were so engorged. Um, engorgement was the worst. But overall, when it comes to the actual learning, Laney did amazing. And I feel very fortunate. We actually worked with a lactation consultant prior to um having Laney, and that was fruitful. I learned a lot about breastfeeding through that, but yeah, I would say hopefully, you know, if if it goes well for you, great. If it doesn't, get in contact with a consultant. I actually had her number, so I would shoot her some messages here and there and just ask questions, especially when I was trying to figure out how to go longer at night without having to pump because she was going so long at night. It was unfortunate having to wake up. But over time, the longer you're breastfeeding your milk does change to supply and demand as opposed to just hormonal, which in the onset hormonally you're just pumped with milk. Eventually your body shifts into more of a when she's eating, we'll supply it. And then it'll be kind of a timed out situation. So now I wake up, I pump right away, like eight ounces right away in the morning. Um, that's literally how much Lainey eats right when she wakes up. And then every few hours, my breasts are ready, and so is she, right? Um, it's kind of the schedule, and your body learns that. And Lainey's doing fantastic. So really, really blessed in that sense. It's gone really well. It's a great moment of connection. I absolutely love the moments with her. It's the oxytocin that you get from that is so special. And also just the way that they look at you when they're breastfeeding and the sounds that they make, it is so tender. And I feel so blessed knowing how beneficial breast milk is for your child. Nothing compares, formula doesn't come close. That said, I know that there are circumstances where either breastfeeding has been difficult, especially in the situation of like a tongue tie or not just not a great feeder, and you want to do formula or your work demands it of you, right? Out of your hands. I just feel really grateful knowing that I'm giving her the best possible constantly adapting food source. It adapts to whatever she needs, it protects her from sicknesses, illnesses, it keeps her healthy, it helps her grow. It it changes, it evolves over time to meet her needs. And that is miraculous. And we're still learning more and more about breast milk to this day, finally looking more into it, but yeah. Did you breastfeed on demand until she slept through the night? Yes. Um I did. I did a little bit of pumping as well. I actually made had quite a large supply. I had an oversupply for a while because I was pumping and breastfeeding. And then we actually had a lot in the freezer. Now we literally have close to none in the freezer. I'm starting to store up a little bit extra just so we have a little more autonomy and we can do things because I hadn't been doing that. I'd been almost exclusively breastfeeding or creating exactly what she needed, which does make it hard to be flexible or go anywhere, um, like a date night, for example. So I'm having to kind of figure that out at a little, I'm doing like an extra ounce to two ounces a day because having an oversupply is very uncomfortable and I don't want to be in that camp either. Um, and if you've never breastfed before, you're in for a treat. As when it comes to that kind of pain when your breasts fill up, it is very unique. And when they're emptied by your child or a pump, it feels incredible. Um like I said, just don't want an oversupply. But yes, I did breastfeed on demand until she slept through the night. And then once she started, once she we got her in for her two weeks, she was already back to birth weight. They said just let her sleep. She started sleeping very long shifts through the night pretty early on, five to six hours pretty early on. Now she sleeps all night. Um, so it's a 10, 10 to 11 hours. Actually, probably more like nine to ten and a half hours is her her average window at night, but she's in bed for like a full 11 hours. And um that's incredible, right? So, um, and my breasts did adjust to that gratefully because that was hard in the onset when she started sleeping so long or staying in bed so long without needing to feed. I had to do a little extra work and push through a little bit of pain or do some expressing um of my breasts to get them to last that long, right? And now that's just the supply and demand has worked out very well. What are ways healthcare workers made you feel comfortable pre and postpartum? So Grant and I had the most amazing experience in the hospital when I gave birth. The nursing staff, knowing that one, this was our first, but two, also just witnessing, you know, your birth and then having this child for the first few days. We stayed in the hospital two days. Incredible. Um I think Grant and I bolt would say that the staff was 11 out of 10. Um, I had help getting her to feed, I had help at night, they would wake us up, they'd take our vitals. They were so kind. They had all the supplies you could possibly need. They actually took Lainey one of the nights so we could get some more rest, even though I didn't rest because I had insomnia, um, just anxiety. But the team was incredible. So I would say that if you work in a hospital in the labor department, you have the potential to make an incredible impact on the lives of the women giving birth and whether, especially if it's their first time, but also it doesn't matter how many times they've had children, how you treat them and their children, it can be a lasting impact. Like I still think back on those nurses. I can see their faces, I know their names, and I'm just so appreciative of the ones who made us feel comfortable when we were going through birth. Um, but also when I was just seeing my Obi when I was pregnant, I had I, you know, it took some time. Um, we had an interesting relationship, I think, in the beginning, because I kind of just chose one, the first appointment I could get without really knowing anything about this doctor specifically. So I think building a rapport with that doctor took time, but over time it got really great and the care was pretty good. Um, finding a doctor who matches your energy. So if you're kind of an anxious, want all the answers, want someone very in-depth, definitely look for that in a doctor. Don't feel bad switching doctors. I think I was a little mismatched with what I wanted out of a doctor and what I got. I like a lot of answers, a thoroughness. I'm more anxious, so just someone who can kind of give me the lowdown and help kind of give me perspective or just the answers I'm seeking. I didn't quite get that from my doctor, even though we had a good relationship over time and it got better. I think finding a doctor that matches what you need is really important. Um, and they don't take it personally, right? Like they work with hundreds of patients. They also want to work with patients that match them, that they can best help and best suit. So I would say I'm going to be a little more intentional with my OBGYN, my doctor going into my next pregnancy, God willing. And then we're gonna go back to the same hospital we gave birth in. It was incredible. Um, loved that experience. And then postpartum, I had anxiety. My doctor was very helpful on that front. She was able to help me tackle that. I actually was on an SSRI for a short stint, probably two to three months. Um, and so basically I was on it long enough for it to just start working, and then I weaned off. Um, just because there's mixed research on it having an impact on your hormone health. So I didn't want that, but also I felt like I was in a really good place to just get off of it. So it kind of helped me whether it was placebo or not. Um, it just kind of helped me navigate that anxiety. But she was very helpful on that front. And then yeah, so I think the whole experience, I think when it comes to pregnancy, birth, postpartum, I think doctors have a very large impact on your experience. And if you work in that field or you're a nurse in that field, just know that um you do leave an imprint. And if you especially if um you're kind, supportive understanding of the experience that is pregnancy, birth, and um your transition into a hormone plummet, right? So postpartum. So yeah, I think those are just some ways that they were there and helped us feel good. Newborn sleep tips and recommendations. So newborn, right? Laney uh slept pretty good from the get-go. I think every newborn has their moments. So she definitely had some nights where she was up a lot or up for extended periods. A topped tip, um, especially if you're able to breastfeed, especially for the first month. Like I highly encourage you to try to do it. The reason I say that is because feeding at night is so much faster when it's done on the breast than if you try to bottle feed from the get-go. At least in our experience, I'd breastfeed, she'd go right back to sleep. If we tried to bottle feed, I was sleeping. Grant would try to bottle feed or like something like that so that I could get more rest. It went horribly. Almost every time. For some reason, at night, this was the case. And the bottle feed would take a long time. And then, two, for some reason it would cause a lot of fussiness. And I think there's a lot of reasons. I think the connection with mom at night, I think the oxytocin, I think the melatonin, the calming effect that is being on your mother's chest, all those things just aid in the baby going right back to sleep. I think using a bottle kind of is this cold, not connected, uncomfortable, they don't know there if it's foreign to them, it might not be the right milk, etc., makes it harder. And so I think if you're able to breastfeed at night, it's helpful. I understand that's not always the case. We did a bit of bottle feeding when she was first born because I needed more rest as an epileptic. So there were some situations where it was out of our hands as well. And I'm not, this is not judging, I'm just giving you a pro tip. Breastfeeding will make it easier to get through the night. Um, because the baby prefers it. They just do. They're born that way. They are born to prefer breastfeeding. Um, I would say also once your baby's up to birth weight, get into the doctor if you think they are. They'll tell you to let that baby sleep. And yes, for the first few days to weeks, getting them back to a healthy weight is very important. So it is important to wake and feed. But once you can let that baby sleep, they will wake to eat. Um, do not keep constantly waking them up once they're healthy enough to keep going. Encourage the sleep. Change your light bulbs in your bedroom to a red light or a different color than that bright luminescent light. Change it to a red. We did red lights on our bedside lamps. Change the game. It one doesn't wake you up too much, and two, doesn't wake the baby up too much when they wake up to feed. It keeps everyone calm, relaxed, and in a sleepy state. Um, take some time before bed off your screen. Do not look at your phone at night when you breastfeed. Don't look at the clock, just be out of it, be out of it, if you will. Um, breastfeed, go right back to sleep. Getting too alert, so looking at your phone, looking at the time, getting hyper-aware, those things will keep you from going back to sleep. And the baby, because they'll feed off of your energy. So keep the room calm, keep your noise machine on, keep it cold, red lights, keep the whole room sleepy, sleepy, sleepy for everybody involved. You, baby, husband. Um, it's extremely important during the day, keep that baby awake as much as you can. And yes, a newborn will sleep way more than my child now. My child only takes a few naps a day, right? And then she's up. But when it's a newborn, um, you do need to let them sleep as much as they demand it. But try not to get in the habit of them being up more at night and awake um and asleep more during the day. You want them asleep as much as possible at night and more as awake as much as possible during the day. So whatever they need to sleep 20 hours, it's a lot when they're firstborn. But let's say you're in the later weeks of newborn life, so it's more like 16, 18 hours that they need to sleep. Keep those awake hours during the day as much as humanly possible. Play with them, sing to them, encourage them to be up, have open the shades, get that bright lighting, get them slowly but surely establishing a circadian rhythm. So in the morning, have a schedule, get them up at the same time every day, open the shades, get that light inside, get the sun on their eyes, keep them up as much as possible, let them nap, and then at night, draw the shades, get it nice and dark, get them tired, get them in this same pattern that you rely on to feel good, right? Light in the morning, dark at night. Have a routine at night, whether it's you always cuddle up, you read them a book, you relax with them, get them familiar with that routine, and then they'll go to start going to sleep, and knowing that that's what comes is the precursor to going to sleep. Um, and I would say just give yourself grace, right? Like a lot of this we can't pick. A lot of how our children sleep, we can't pick. Laney's a great sleeper. God bless. There are things we did. I think having a routine, a habit, patterns, encouraging sleepy time, encouraging awake time, those are all good things. Um, also your milk, another thing, your milk at night. If you're formula feeding, you don't get this advantage. If you are breastfeeding, make sure you're giving them evening milk because evening milk has melatonin in it. And a lot of people don't know that. So if you're giving them evening milk in the morning, you're giving them melatonin. They're gonna get tired all day, right? And same vice versa. If you give them normal milk in the evening, they're not gonna get the melatonin. So try to make sure whatever time you're pumping, that's the same time they eat that food, whether it's the next day, the same day, whatever. Um, and don't mix up the milks. Don't give them daytime milk in the middle of the night. Don't give them nighttime milk in the middle of the day. Don't let's not go mix in and match in those. How long did you keep her in her room? In your room? So Lainey is 95th percentile for length. She is a huge baby. She is very long. She's 50th for weight. She keeps she's been on all of her growth curves perfectly. She was always 50th for weight. She stayed on that. She has stayed on that as she's gotten bigger, and her height has been the same. She's a very long, healthy girl. Um, but she outgrew her bassinet very fast, not to mention started rocking that thing. And we have the halo and it barely rocks, but she she rolls around. She's an active girl. She's gonna be, she's gonna give me a run for my money. She is um trying to crawl already. She is very active. So she outgrew her bassinet, and we can't move our crib, it's too big into our room. So she was in her room about four and a half months, and it's been going very well. Um, we started out by putting her in there in the one time she would wake up at night. When she would wake up, we'd move her to her crib and get her used to that transition. And then gradually over time, we're like, let's just see if she can just sleep in her crib. And once she started doing that, I swear she started sleeping even better. Um, she started sleeping through the night. She was relaxed, she got used to her crib, and it also aided in her napping. She naps in her crib very, very well. And something else to recommend um is babies will sleep better if they put themselves to sleep. I used to nurse her to sleep every single night and then just quietly transfer her to her crib. Now I feed her a little bit before bedtime. So like 6 to 6:30, I feed her, and then when it's time for bed, I just put her in her crib and she falls asleep on her own. And it she cries a little bit, like five minutes, and then she falls instantly asleep. So teaching them to put themselves to sleep will be a game changer for you as far as the quality of their sleep. Um, and we have a nanit camera, could not recommend it more. Um, it gives us updates on how she's sleeping, it wakes us up if she's not sleeping well because it makes noises. Obviously, we hear everything too, we see her, and you can have the nanit camera on your phone. So if you're out and about and your partner's home with them, you can also watch them nap from wherever. Not sponsored. I just love the nanit camera. So highly recommend that. Um, and I feel safe. We feel safe doing it because the camera's right next to us. It's on full blast and we would hear any and everything that happens. So yeah. All right, last little section, you guys. Top baby items that you need. Okay, so I tried to consolidate this list. Um I'm gonna miss things, but obviously, diapers, you're gonna go through those faster than anything you've ever fathomed. Wipes equally. So go to Costco, stock up on those, you'll be back there before you know it. Tubby Todd. So Lainey had baby acne. I think it was like week three. I did some research, got this Tubby Todd. You guys, we use it every single day. She is the prettiest skin you've ever seen. We use it on any like cut spots on our skin that get dry. We put it all over her every single day, um especially after bath time. And it is a game changer. So get Tubby Todd. It is pricey, but it is worth it. We've had the same set that we bought. It's lasted months. So, yes, it's pricey, but it lasts forever. Get that snot sucker, kind of a fun, but also they hate it tool, but it gets those big boogers out that kind of prevent them from breathing as well, especially when they're feeding. Um, just simple onesies. Uh, a lot of stuff we got was like super nice, especially as gifts, and you don't want to wear those when they're burping and spitting all over the place, right? So just get some really cheap, reusable, simple onesies that you can just put them in and they get dirty and you just wash them. Like really cute. I don't know about you guys, but I am a functionality person through and through, especially when it comes to a young baby. I didn't like all the frilly outfits that were really cute because it's like they're just gonna get this filthy and then I'm gonna have to change it. It's also really hard to change their diaper in. So simple onesies that snap at the bottom. Um, avoid what is I gonna say? Um magnetic outfits. I didn't, I don't think they work as well. So get get the snaps, snaps at the bottom. Uh, baby bath, get a bath. I think we have a Frida one, though I'm not sure I support Frida. There's some, they're getting some flack for their campaigns, but a baby bath is key. One that fits them, that adapts to their size, get one of those, and then you put it in the bath. It's like a little mini tub that goes in the tub. Um, swaddle, get a swaddle that you love. We literally would reuse the same swaddle for multiple nights, wash it, use it again. We found one that velcroed that was perfect for her. Once they find the right swattle, it's great. And then you want to get an arms out sleeper for when they get bigger, but that's not an immediate need. Um, but you also want an arms up swaddle, so a self soothing swaddle. Um, that happens later on as they start to want to suck on their fingers or their hands, and they use them to soothe themselves. An arms up swaddle is a game changer. A nanit camera already touched on that. The baby. Bjorn, huge, huge win. I personally love that. There's so many different I call them carriers, or I don't know what the correct term is. But the baby Bjorn that I wear her, a wearable maybe, I don't know. That one, I use that all the time, especially when she was lighter, skin pretty heavy now, so in short stints. A Grayco, that's what she would sit in. Um when she was a newborn, she's outgrown it substantially. But um that's a game changer because it kind of moves around to soothes them. And when you don't want to constantly hold them when they're new, right? You want something to put them down so you can eat, so you can do something with your day. A Grayco is very nice. Um, they're a little bit expensive, but they're definitely worth the investment. Game changer. Baby bouncer. So I will put this in my storefront. It's a bouncer as they get bigger. You have to be of a certain weight, but we use it all the time. Um, just so I can get stuff done. She can hang out with me, and I'm not directly having to hold her. Um, I don't know the name of the brand, but I will put it in my storefront. Definitely worth that. Um, and then yeah, those are the things that I have written down here. And I'm sure there's other things. Um, but those are some big things that we used from the get-go. So last one is well, at last two. What's the best part about new motherhood? I'm so excited to get to know her. I am so eager to get to know her. I want her to get bigger so I can talk to her and she can talk back to me. She's already so noisy, she can't wait to speak, but I just I can't even explain it. And the level of love is unfathomable. Before you have this child, it's like you hear about it all the time. It's like, oh, you're gonna love them so much, but it is so true. I love her so much, it physically hurts. Um, and I would do anything for her. And I think now that I know what that feels like, I feel like my whole life has such a new purpose um and profound purpose, right? And I love my husband, but I don't know, as a mom, it's just it hits different, man. It is just, it rocks you how much you love this little creature. And I just, I just love all my time with her. And that's kind of another question I had. The last question was stay-at-home mom life. Um, but before I address that, the hardest part of motherhood, probably equally how much you love them and that you're you're afraid and you worry. And I think fear is from the devil. Fear tries to stop you in your tracks and make you afraid to be a mom because it makes you worry about their future, their life, their well-being, their livelihood. But that is not from God. God does not want you to worry, He does not want you to fear, He wants you to embrace the beauty that is motherhood and all the excitement that comes with being a mom and the life ahead. It's something to look forward to, not be afraid of. So, um, but that is probably the hardest part. And also just how much autonomy is thrown out the window, right? Because especially if you're breastfeeding, but also if you're just used to doing whatever you want, whenever you want, that's gone because you have this child now. And I wouldn't trade it for the world though. I think it's hard when you get used to it, though, right? So it's difficult in the onset, you get very used to it, and um you can't imagine life without it. Life seems pretty damn boring without it. And lastly, how is stay-at-home mom life? I feel very blessed, fortunate, and grateful that I can do so, that I can stay home with my daughter, that I can take care of her full time. It's hard. I tell my husband all the time I don't have any autonomy and that I feed her from my body all the time. Um, so I I tend to need to be with her because I also, like I said, not I wasn't great about creating a stockpile. Um, but also taking care of a person full-time is a lot of work. And I think it doesn't get enough uplifting. Um, but there's a reason we send our kids to daycare. It's because we need someone else to take care of them full-time. And so if you are doing that full-time, you are if they're full-time daycare, you are their provider, you are working. I see myself as working, and I am working also on the side here. I still run this podcast, which does well, and I still do things like that. Um, I didn't know I would enjoy being a stay-at-home mom as much as I did. I have my moments of doubt where I worry about my identity, but I found so much more purpose in my life through this, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. God bless my husband for being able to provide for us. And um, God bless this life and all that it has. Um, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode. I know I didn't get to answer all the questions that were dropped, but I tried to answer as many as I could. Um, and I really appreciate you guys listening. Stay tuned for another episode coming up in a week. And um, as always, thanks for being here.