196: I’m 30! Big, Scary Life Lessons

In this episode I share some big, scary life lessons I’ve learned over 30 years of life. I’m OLD! Let’s go. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Welcome to the Knight Fit Podcast. I'm your host, Emily Knight. I'm a running and strength coach whose primary mission is to help runners reach their goals and maintain their strength without sacrificing their true health. On this podcast, we talk about all things health and fitness so that you can stay up to date on some of today's latest research. I host inspiring guests, drop solo episodes where I explore pertinent topics and get to the heart of many of our questions around what it means to chase our fitness goals and prioritize our wellness. So sit back and get ready for an awesome conversation. Hey guys, and welcome back to the Night Fit Podcast. Hope you're having a lovely day so far, a lovely Monday. You guys, when this drops, I will have turned 30 years old. Wow. That is scary. When I'm recording this, I am still 29. It's June, the middle of June. So I have about actually it's June 17th. So to the day, I have exactly one month until I enter my 30s. Wow. There's a lot I've learned in 30 years. And something about birthdays that I think is interesting is when you turn, for example, when I turn 30, I'll have lived 30 years. I think sometimes people think, oh, this is I'm turning 30. What do I, what are my goals for 30, right? Really, once I hit 30, I'm 30 years old plus X amount of days. I think people kind of mix that up, right? But yeah, when this drops, I'll have turned 30 years old. And what I wanted to do today was to share some scary life lessons I've learned in 30 years of life. This is obviously a very hard prompt because I could share so many things. And I truly believe the list of things, if you really think through this, the list of lessons you learn in life is unending. It's immeasurable. There are so many different things. And also, if you choose a specific category, such as, let's say you chose money, you could have hundreds of lessons you learned about money, right? So this was a difficult prompt, but I sat down, I didn't overthink it. I really just started reflecting on my life, the things I've been through, different eras of my life, different situations, experiences, and I really just thought through the biggest things I've learned. And for a lot of these, there's not just one given scenario that applies to it. There's a multitude. Right. So if I share a specific lesson, there's a bunch of different things that have happened in my life that made that lesson really stand out to me, or even come to be. So yeah, that is kind of the goal for this, you guys, is I'm just going to share some of the things I've learned in hopes that it inspires you, especially if you're not close to 30 yet. Maybe some of these things can inspire you to reflect on your own life, make some changes, if you will. Or if you're past 30, maybe these things will resonate with you. So I'm excited to dive in. Um to set the scene as I always do. I'm at our kitchen table. It is 12.52 p.m. Lainey just went down about 10 minutes ago for her second nap of the day. We've got a really good structure going. Um, she has three naps in a day. She has a mid-morning nap, middle of the day nap, and then a really short kind of evening nap before hanging out for a little while before going to bed. Her sleep schedule is incredible. Um, I really cannot complain. She wakes up once pretty much between 4 and 6 a.m. And then she goes back down for a little while until about 7 a.m., goes to bed around 7 p.m. So things are looking good, and we're hoping over time we can kind of wean her off that last feed and she can go like 7 to 7. So that's kind of the hope, eventual hope. But she's got she's gotten really um great at her sleep schedule. So we're loving that. But without further ado, you guys, let's just dive in, right? I'm gonna kind of just go through these. They're in no particular order. It's not strongest lesson to smallest lesson or weakest lesson. It's just lessons. Um, drop in the show notes, you guys, if there's any of these that really hit home with you. But first one is you'll lose yourself in the pursuit of things that are not for you, and you'll find yourself in the pursuit of things that are for you. This one is very powerful to me because I have lost myself time and time again, pursuing different goals, people, ideas of happiness that I thought were for me and weren't for me at all. And through that process, I lost complete control over who I was, or just lost an understanding of who I was. And at the same time, on the other side of the coin, when I've pursued things in my life, such as my husband, such as my faith, such as my career, when I've pursued the right things, I've really found myself. And I think it's it's just innately true that when we really actively seek things that are not meant for us, we become a worse version of ourselves. We disassociate from our values and morals. We just, as other people might observe, lose ourselves. And this is something, like I said, is has come around in my life at many different junctions. Um, but I think it just rings very true. And so I ask you to ask yourself, what are you pursuing right now? And do you feel that you're finding yourself or losing yourself in that process? It's also just a great pulse check for if the things you're actively seeking are bettering you or making you into the person you are looking to be. So, yeah, you'll lose yourself in the pursuit of things that are not for you, and you'll find yourself in the pursuit of things that are for you. My life right now couldn't be more true to what I've always dreamed of having at the same time, never knew I could have. And that's because I've actively pursued things that are fruitful for my life, and each person's life will have different things that are good for them, right? Not everyone should seek or chase the same things. But when you do chase the right things, things just fall into place. So that's a great, great one. The next one is your gut will never lie to you. Your gut is God. Do not deny it. And if you do deny it, it will eventually come back. If something feels wrong, it probably is. And if something feels right, it probably is. Dig deep and listen to your gut. This has been something that I've heavily leaned on in my life, always. And I think sometimes when we actively do things that work against what our gut tells us, we know, we just instantly know that it's not for us, it's not right. And your gut will never mislead you. And this is a lesson I've learned. This is my experience. Maybe sometimes people's guts do mislead them. And I challenge you to ask yourself, is it really then your gut feeling, or is it a desire, a worldly desire, or is it not from God, right? Is it from something darker? For example, if you think your gut is saying you should sleep with whoever you want to sleep with, and it ends up leading to your demise, that's probably not your gut talking. It's probably just innate human desire. And it's not, it's not truly your gut. Your gut will probably be a little more pointed with whom you should do that with, I would guess. Um, and that's just an example. But I truly do believe that your gut will never mislead you. And this is something that has stayed consistent and persistent in my life. And I have always linked my gut reaction to God's whisper. Whether or not you have a faith, I think this is something that is true. I think the Holy Spirit is trying to sway you to live your best life. And so I always challenge you to listen to your gut. Listen to your gut, whatever it is, if it's your career, if it's your relationship, if it's your family life, if it's your health, if it's anything, your gut will probably tell you what to do. And if you start listening to it more often than not, you'll probably be happier. So I challenge you to dig deep and listen. The next lesson is if you make your body your source of happiness, you will never find it. And this one is palpable to me. I have many times in my life sought joy, happiness, satisfaction, worth, value in my body. And no matter what my body looked like, whether I was super thin, whether I was whatever, I never was happy when I made my body my outlet of joy and happiness. It's one thing to value your body, right? And to appreciate your body and to move your body in a way that is glorifying of God and that is beneficial to your longevity and to appreciate it. It's another thing to seek happiness in it, to actively look to feel better because of what your body looks like. And if you get in a routine or a habit of doing that, I can assure you you will not find joy. If instead you look to others, to your friends, to your connections, if instead you do that and you find happiness in that, I promise there's a lot more happiness and joy to be found. It's when we're looking at our physical beings for that that things fall short. And that's not what God intended either. And you'll find as I'm talking that my faith does weave into a lot of these because it's a huge part of my life in full transparency. And it's a huge part of reflecting on my life and the things I've learned. But yeah, and I think when you make your body an idol, and that can be faith-related or not, but when you make your body this item that you worship, and everything you do revolves around that, it's empty. You'll just keep digging and digging and digging and never finding joy at the bottom. Because there will always be something wrong. Because the body, the human flesh, is flawed and it's imperfect. It's meant to be because it's perfectly imperfect. And you're meant to just appreciate your body, love your body for what it is, but not seek joy in it and happiness in it. The next lesson is do the hard thing for the greatest reward. Quitting's easy, throwing in the towel is easy, but staying on the hard path is often the one God wants you to follow, and He will reward you for that. I think in life, especially in 2026, the modern era, it is way easier to take the easy path, the road that is paved, and society approves of it, and it's the easy route, right? But oftentimes it is the hardest things that we find the most reward in. An experience that comes to mind for me is healing my body of HA. That was grueling. For me, it would have been way easier to stick to disordered behaviors, to not gain the weight, to not really get to the root of my issues. It would have been way easier to stay there than it would be to do the hard thing and heal and get uncomfortable. But I was rewarded in tenfold. I had my daughter, I had my fertility, I had a whole new perspective on life. I understood there's more to life. And the hard thing just so blaringly, obviously, to me, became so clearly the path worth pursuing. And I think God presents trials to all of us in different ways, and he wants us to be pruned by choosing the harder path sometimes. And we're rewarded immensely when we do. And this could be in your relationships, you know, loyalty and dedication is harder than just not being loyal. Um, your career, pursuing something you're really passionate about and working hard is often way more fruitful for you. Could be your family life, showing up all the time, being involved, reaching out. That's that's difficult. Instead of just being quiet and focusing on yourself, it's difficult, but it's more rewarding. Your faith life, pursuing Jesus, actively praying, trusting God. That's harder but more beautiful. If you think about all the different things in life, the harder thing is way more worth it. And I've learned that in so many different ways through all the years of my life. The next lesson is forgiveness is the best gift you can give or receive. It unburdens you when you forgive someone else, but you've also been forgiven. Whether or not you're you can think of things at the top of your head mind, but you've done wrong and you've hurt people, and um you've been forgiven by people in your life, and the best thing you can do in your life is forgive others. And without diving into specifics, I've done this many, many times in my life, and it's always been worth it. Forgiveness has always been worth it. The next lesson is you are not your past, you are what you do every day moving forward. You are not defined by what's happened to you either. I sometimes get bogged down, like I'll literally be just sitting, relaxing, trying to fall asleep, and things from my past will bubble up. And it can be really easy to feel embarrassed or ashamed of things you've done or been through. Example, my eating disorder. It can be really easy to feel gross about it, right? Um, but we're not that. We are not what's happened to us, we are not the things we've done, our decisions. We are who we choose to be every day and who we show up as every day moving forward. And it's really, really important that we don't let what's happened to us define us and we don't marinate and obsess over what's happened behind us. We have to keep moving forward. I've made plenty of mistakes in my life. I'm turning 30 years old. That's a lot of years to make mistakes, and I've made a ton. And if I chose to just actively sit in those mistakes, I'd never be happy. So we must focus on the present and the future. The next lesson is change is good. Growth is good, evolving is good. It is good to be a better version of you. I've changed a lot in 30 years. I have given up a lot of things, I have pursued new things, I have become a better version of myself. And I think sometimes we're hard on people for changing, for having new opinions, for making new decisions, for leaving things behind. And we're hard on people for that. I think cancel culture especially applies to people when they make big changes in their life, right? Like if we think about people who openly pursue Jesus, they're just reamed. Um, but not only that, just people who make changes to better improve their life, sometimes we don't allow for it. Um, we don't allow people the space and the capacity to grow and to make new paths for themselves. And I think I have because I've done this so much in my life, I've changed and evolved and grown so much. I appreciate that it's such a beautiful thing, and we all deserve to have it and do it often. We should be constantly seeking to change. That is the nature of growing and getting older as you use what has happened to you to reflect on just the last lesson to get better. So change is good, and I highly recommend you do it. The next lesson is you truly are who you surround yourself with. Choose people who make you better. I cannot emphasize this enough. My life now, who is around me is hugely impactful on my life. And choosing to be around people who just kind of bog you down, pull you down, don't make you feel good, suck the life out of you. That will impact you. I think too, I reflect on people who I used to be around, friends I used to have, and just I was not my best self. Even relationships I've been in, and who you are around is extremely influential. It sounds like a cliche, we hear it all the time, but it is true. Choose people who genuinely push you and want the best for you, who aren't afraid to call you out on your crap, who aren't afraid to say, hey, I don't think what you're doing is good for you, who aren't afraid to be honest. It is so vital to be careful with who's around you and who surrounds you, especially if you're growing your family and having children and just expanding in ways that are important to you, who is in those moments and who's around when that is happening, so important. The next lesson is it's good and okay to be the boring one, to have routine, to be disciplined, to get great sleep, to not drink, to be reliable, to be steady. It may appear boring, but you're often the happiest in the room. So, my two cents on that is it's okay to be boring. And I have felt this way at times in my life. I have felt like the boring one, the one that had a schedule. And don't get me wrong, spontaneity and joy and flexibility and going with the flow is important. But at the end of the day, being the one who has a pattern that makes them happy, it keeps them healthy, who keeps them reliable for their family and steady, that'll bring you the most joy. It's not those 2 a.m. nights, it's not going out all the time, it's not not following a health plan. Those things will not bring you consistent happiness or fruitfulness or longevity or just familial joy. It is the boringness and the consistency. And so don't be afraid to be that boring person, truly. The next lesson is following God's path will absolutely make you happier. Following the flesh will lead to your demise. And this one is faith-based, but I think even if you don't have a faith, I think following morale and values that truly look to the betterment of your life will lead to your happiness. Following the wishes and desires of the flesh, or if you want to think of it as the wishes and desires of the evil within or the darkness within, will not lead to happiness. You know, sleeping around, gluttony, porn, cheating, lying, manipulation, obsessing over social media, just things that people do all the time because it's easy. To do, or because others tell you to do it, getting drunk all the time, like those things will ultimately break you down. They will break you down and tear you apart. But if you follow what God wants for you, or if you really think about your values and morale and you truly listen to them, the advice you give to other people is a great way to think of it too. If you truly listen to that, you will be happier. And I'm gonna bring this back, bring this whole lesson home, this specific one by saying if you follow God's path, you will be happier. Because end of the day, this one is so rooted in my faith. And it's so true that if you follow what he wants for his people, there's the most happiness. The most happiness is found there. So, but if you want to spin that and just think, follow your values and live them out, advice you'd give your very closest friend, that is where the happiness lies. Next lesson is listen more, ask questions, and talk less. Don't fill space with useless words and stay insanely curious. I think it's easy to be the loudest person in the room. Well, for some of us, maybe not for all of us. Um, I particularly am not, but I am not afraid to speak. But I am something I've learned over the last 30 years is that when you ask more questions and you stay curious about others and you listen more, you tend to learn more, you tend to become wiser, you tend to realize you actually know very little, and your friendships actually grow up. If you're the person who's constantly talking and filling the space and never listening, you might find that you're actually a lot dumber. And if you don't realize that, if you're always the one talking, I hate to break it to you, but you probably need to stop talking so much and actually listen because we actually know so little the more that we listen. Something I've really become in the last, I would say, even five years of my life is just so curious. So, so curious. And through that, I've found so much joy just by being curious. And it when things come to me, it's so scary now, too, with AI. But, and this all ties together, I think, listening more and being curious. Um, AI scares me because all we have to do now is Google something, which I'm trying to spin on its head as a good thing because when something comes to my mind, like a question, I'm talking with my husband, and let's say we're talking about something, and I'm like, oh, I wonder blank blank blank. Instead of just saying I wonder, I actually look into it. And then sometimes I go on these deep dives and I get really deep in the weeds about a certain topic. If we're talking about, let's say, marine life, and he says, I wonder blank, and I'm like, well, let's look into it. And then I Google it and then we start reading about it. Get curious, ask questions, listen more. You can contribute a lot to a conversation by just listening instead of being the one always talking. So that's that was the next lesson. The next one is empathy is cool. Do your best to walk in another's experience and to understand them first. I think it's really easy to point fingers and judge, hence can't cancel culture and the way social media functions in 2026. But I think really trying, and not even social media, but just people you know in your life, but really trying to understand why people do the things they do. And I think this also ties back into the forgiveness one. When you try your hardest to understand people and the things they've been through and why they're doing what they're doing, you find a lot of empathy, but also compassion and trying to feel what another person's feeling is a beautiful experience. And it allows you to connect more with others, to also know that other people might empathize more with you, makes you a better person. And they've actually done studies too, and the best leaders are very empathetic. That's the number one trait. I really try to understand people, I really do, and why they do the things they do, especially when it comes to people getting hurt. I am extremely forgiving. I credit myself that one thing, and that's because I do actively try to practice empathy and compassion. Empathy and compassion are obviously different, and that empathy is feeling what this person's feeling, whereas compassion is a step further and that you try to alleviate what this person is feeling. And I think I try to do both, hence the forgiveness. But I think it's just really empathy is insanely powerful. And if you do it more regularly, your life will feel better. And I've learned that over the course of my life. I have learned that the more I empathize with other people, it the easier it is for me to understand people's decisions. And the less I dwell on, well, why would they do that? Why would they, you know, um, walk in another shoes? Next lesson is growing a family is the most rewarding thing you can do, especially in the rise of not getting married or having children. And this is my opinion. This is a lesson I personally have learned as a new mom, as someone who's married, I the best thing I have invested in in my life is growing my family. It is so beautiful. There are not words for the emotion of getting married and for the emotion of having a child and expanding God's kingdom, but just doing that has been the most powerful, gripping, intense, loving thing I have ever done. And I 10 out of 10 recommend everybody do it. I think it makes you very, very happy and it gives you so much purpose. And I don't know, you know, I you can't really explain it to others unless until they do it. Um, but it is just wonderful. It is the joy and adventure of my life, and I cannot wait to see what's ahead with that. We got three more, you guys. The next lesson is comparison will destroy you. It will rob you of the life you deserve to live. I have learned this time and time again. And when I fall into spirals of comparison, I never feel lower. It's so easy now, especially with social media, to get deep into this, deep into the weeds, to really loathe the beautiful person that you are because of what you think you don't have. And it is essential to step out of that. And when you find yourself in that, whether it's caused by social media or not, actively seek to appreciate what you have. Practice gratitude. You cannot feel anxiety when you practice gratitude. You cannot feel comparison when you practice gratitude. So practice it. Do not fall into comparison traps. Do your very best. And when you do, be honest about it with someone who can help you. Pull yourself out of it, close the apps, get some perspective, get some exposure, go outside, touch grass. Comparison will destroy you. I know that. I've been through it, I go through it, it's happening, it happens, but I do my best now because I know over 30 years that it will absolutely rot you. It will rot you to your core. It is dark. The next lesson is it's consistency that wins. Stay committed. Whatever it is you're consistent with, showing up for your family, working out, staying healthy, eating enough food, waking up at the same time every day. It's consistency that chips away at the progress you want to make. Commitment, stay committed. Do what you say you're gonna do. Be consistent. It that is the big picture. The reason I feel the healthiest I ever have, that I have muscle, that I have this amazing family, that I have this amazing relationship, that my husband trusts me, that my daughter loves me, all these things is because I'm consistent. I am consistent in whatever goal it is. Consistency wins. Stack those bricks. It is not showing up half the time that wins. It isn't. It's consistency. And that applies to everything. Absolutely everything. Persistence and consistence. And the last one, you guys, last one I have for you. Again, these were in no particular order, but the last one is it is okay not to be everyone's favorite. Do not lose yourself trying to be. If you are true to you, the right people will surround you. Mic drop. Mic drop, you guys. I cannot explain the number of times in my life I have tried to please everybody, whether that's on social media or in real life. And I've contributed to conversations I care nothing about just to please people. I have morphed myself just to please people. I have said things I do not believe just to please people. I'm done doing that. And I have been for quite some time because I've learned in my life that when I am true to myself, the best people, the people I love, the people I want around me, they show up. They don't just, they're not just there for no reason. It's because you're true to you. Attract those people. Attract them by being true and authentic to yourself. Authenticity is badass. Let's do it, you guys. Okay. Wow, that was a lot of lessons. I just poured them all on you guys, but I do think these are some really good ones. Like I said, this is not all-encompassing. I could go on for hours. I could think of new things. I could go on tangents. But these are just some top ones that I've learned in my life in my 30 years. I want to hear some of yours. What did I miss? What did I forget? Put them in the show notes. Please contribute. Contribute to the combo. Let's get it going. Um, if you guys enjoyed this, pass it along to someone who might need to hear it. I appreciate you guys. I hope you have a great day and happy 30 to me. Woohoo! I am old. Okay, let's go.