Mom, Dad… Did You Know? Three Generations of Drinking & My Dry Life

This week Megan is in Arizona visiting her parents — and she convinced them to sit down for one of the most honest conversations yet. What started as a casual interview turned into a three-generation look at alcohol, family patterns, and what sobriety actually looks like from the outside.
Her mom opens up about growing up with an alcoholic father who stayed sober for six years — until one suggestion of peppermint schnapps changed everything. Her dad shares what it was like losing his father at age three, growing up in a house where wine with the mailman was just… normal. And both of them admit they had no idea how much Megan was really drinking until they listened to the podcast.
There’s a lot of love in this episode, some real honesty about drunk driving (a different era), mommy wine culture, and what it means to watch your daughter become — as her mom puts it — “very powerful over her life.”
Her dad didn’t really want to be on the podcast. He showed up anyway. That says everything.

Welcome to The Dry Life- Alcohol -Free Lifestyle, Marriage Growth In Sobriety, the podcast where one real couple gets honest about sobriety, personal growth, and everything in between. Join us — a husband and wife duo — as we share our sobriety journey, including the raw ups and downs, the unexpected benefits of alcohol-free living, and the lifelong learning that has transformed our lives and our marriage. Whether you’re sober curious, newly sober, or years into your recovery journey, this podcast is your reminder that life after alcohol can be full, rich, and deeply rewarding. Each week we dive into real conversations about sober living, self-development, mindset shifts, and the daily commitment it takes to keep growing. If you’re looking for a sobriety podcast that goes beyond just quitting drinking and explores what it truly means to thrive, you’re in the right place.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hello everybody, it's Megan from the Drylight. I have an exciting episode here. I am in Arizona visiting my lovely parents, and I have forced them to sit down with me and chat. So I'll end the group. My mom could be to say hi if you want. Hi, and my dad to hello. Hello. Okay. So as you know, this podcast is about not drinking alcohol. So I am going to just kind of interview very easily and very laid back some questions for my parents. So I'm just curious, and they can choose to answer or not answer. So starting just talking and thinking about like your life growing up, what was drinking like in your household? Was it normalized, absence, celebratory? Mom, I kind of know your answer, but you can go ahead and well there wasn't really drinking in my household, although my dad was an alcoholic, and his job was difficult because he was um the manager of um the labor temple, which was a big bar, and they had events there, and you know he spent a lot of time there, so yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:45

Oh yeah, he was there seven days a week. And um for six years he did not drink, and I still remember the the night he drank again.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

Oh so did he stop because he felt like he should stop?

SPEAKER_02 2:02

Yes, yes, he did. Did grandma give him an ultimatum or anything or I don't I don't know. Um he just stopped. I remember it was from kindergarten through um sixth grade, and it was the night of seventh grade that he drank again. He had a sore throat or something. And I don't know why my mother said this, but she suggested maybe peppermint schnaps would feel good. Oh no. And he walked out the door. She said that, and I can remember thinking, why would you say that? Yeah. And he came home drunk and uh woke us all up. And that was my first time.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

Did he come into your room and wake you up? No, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

He just was very loud. He would call at the bottom of the steps, and oh lordy, and then he would sit down there and drink. He he had a stash, evidently, in our basement. Okay. And did grandma ever drink? No. Oh, she would have uh uh one drink or maybe two. Um I think we had Mogan David at our house at one time. I don't know why. What is that? That's uh wine that you would mix with seven up. Oh gross. It was called a bubble up or something, I don't know, but yeah. So um, but we didn't have drinks with meals or I mean that was not anything that happened.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Okay, dad in your household.

SPEAKER_00 3:42

I know your dad died when you were young, but did your mom well um yes, I was three years old when my dad died, so I I really don't hardly remember him. And my mother was uh a single mom. My sister and I. And she had a very tough time making ends meet. Um we were pretty poor poor. And at some point, and I don't remember at what age I was, um she was drinking a few glasses of wine every night. Um and occasionally the mailman would show up and they would drink wine together. Um I was very young.

SPEAKER_01 4:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

Um I thought it was fine. Uh don't recall ever sensing that maybe they were drunk, maybe I just didn't understand it.

SPEAKER_01 5:03

Yeah, but it was a pretty normal but uh uh as far as I know it didn't affect me at all.

SPEAKER_00 5:15

Yeah. I know one way or the other.

SPEAKER_01 5:20

Okay. So um coming to our family or to me now, did you guys ever have concerns about my drinking? And if you did, how did you handle it?

SPEAKER_02 5:37

I really didn't know you drank that much until I listened to your podcast. That was a real eye-opener. Um no, I didn't. I knew a couple times when I talked to you on the phone. I think you called and I could tell you had been drinking, but I didn't know that it was with such frequency. Um there were a couple times when you were single when um well, one time in particular you missed an event that you were supposed to come to. You were sleeping in, and I had London, and I was very upset with you. But uh I attributed that to just being young and single. But I was really upset with you.

SPEAKER_01 6:30

Yeah, I talked about that on a few podcasts ago. I don't know if you heard that one. I didn't.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

Was that the luncheon? Yeah, it was Mother's Day daughter, yeah. And then some like Sari went with you and that was the dark time for me.

SPEAKER_02 6:45

Oh, actually, I I actually cried in the car on the way home after that was my probably my most upset with you I had been. Because London was all dressed up and I sent her back with Sari and I I just didn't quite know what to do with London that day. If I should keep her or what. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

Any concerns?

SPEAKER_00 7:17

Did you have a uh no? I d I just knew that um you did enjoy having a drink.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:26

But I don't I had no idea that it was an issue for you.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

Okay. Um did you notice any changes like when I got sober?

SPEAKER_02 7:35

I mean yes. Yes. You're very you're um you became very powerful over your life, I think. I mean, I know that you've had a difficult time as a parent, not because of you, but a very complex child. And um that's really difficult and hard to handle, and um I think you're doing it extremely well.

SPEAKER_01 8:18

Uh I think part of the reason why my drinking got out of, I was just relying on numbing myself. Yeah, that's very trying to use that as like a that's the one thing in our culture too that I hate. It's like, oh mommy needs her wine time, and it actually makes it almost worse because you just push it down and that that really became something for your generation, yeah. And it's so stupid drink getting drunk with your it's so unsafe.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

Well, yes, I I think that group of women you were with got your kids together and you guys drank wine, yeah, which is not exactly the best way to deal with children when you're a little bit high. I mean, it's hard enough when you're sober, yeah. But yes, yeah, I kind of fell into that group, and I think that that but that's uh it was fairly common, I think, for your generation.

SPEAKER_01 9:19

Yeah. Have you noticed any difference in me, Dan?

SPEAKER_00 9:25

Um, yeah, I didn't realize the extent of it until I heard your podcast. Um I think it's a good thing that you recognize the issue and dealt with it.

SPEAKER_01 9:41

Do you think it's changed our family dynamic at all? You mean like all of us?

SPEAKER_02 9:47

Yeah, the little larger family dynamic or just yeah, it's not as expensive to have you in a family when you pay for dinner.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

Yeah, so Nate, and I have definitely noticed that. Like our if we go out to dinner, which we don't even go out that much anymore. I don't even really like to go out. But yeah, you save about half the well, drinks are very expensive.

SPEAKER_02 10:17

Um I think I just think that everything's a little bit brighter in your household, even with the complexities of the child. Yeah. Or the young adult. Um the two young adults now. Yeah, yes. And uh I think things are looking very good.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

Yeah. Okay, so let's see. How do you guys personally feel about your drinking and how it's evolved over the years? Like, have you ever considered taking a break? Um I know we we were talking about it yesterday a little bit, and you said at my age you guys were still able to drink quite a bit, but now you I mean I've noticed a big reduction. You just have like one drink barely. And you guys that's true. Yeah. Um I know you took a break just because of health reason.

SPEAKER_02 11:30

But do you want to talk about your drinking history, Jim?

SPEAKER_00 11:36

Well, um, I have to admit I did drink. Um I don't think it ever affected my performance in any way. But uh when I was younger, there certainly were some times that uh in driving I was probably impaired. Um think about it now, and it was a terrible thing to do.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

Yeah, was drunk driving like as big of a thing back then? They didn't really talk about it?

SPEAKER_00 12:19

No, it wasn't emphasized as much. And uh I would say I was extremely lucky. I never caused any accidents, and the worst that I did is put a couple scratches in my car. Um minor. But something I wouldn't have done if I hadn't had a few drinks.

SPEAKER_01 12:45

And you hate having scratches on your car.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

So that probably was the end, it was tough, but um I can't remember how many years ago when I did get uh sick and alcohol was a factor in it. And uh I did under doctor's orders not have any alcohol for three months. And after that, I didn't want to be get that issue again, so I just decided I kind of cut my drinks down to just wine or maybe occasional beer, but uh limit it to one. And uh now it's not every day. Um and one is my max, and it has no really no effect on me and wouldn't bother me if I had none. It's more of a social thing, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:57

Okay, well, as far as DWIs, I can remember my mother telling me that the police used to follow my dad home.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

Oh, to make sure he got home safe, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

So yeah, DWIs have changed.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:14

Um and having uh driven with too much liquor, oh yeah, numerous times, um, I'm sure. Um and just been lucky.

SPEAKER_01 14:31

Yeah, I think I it was ingrained in me never to drive. I may have one time.

SPEAKER_02 14:37

We we told you, we told you that if you ever did, you should stay overnight there or call us, we'll come get you. Yeah, nobody ever told me that. Um, but we told you and Michael that that we didn't want you driving your cars with any alcohol and that we would come get you, or you should stay overnight. Preferably we wanted you to stay overnight because we didn't want you to wake us up.

SPEAKER_01 15:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:03

We're really good parents. Yeah. But as far as drinking, yeah, it was uh oh, it seems to me when we were in that bigger house, I can remember we had several drinks. That was when I had that occasion in my job where the teacher was um uh bullying you? No, he wasn't bullying me. He was taken out of his position for inappropriate touch, and the teachers got in a few teachers were on his side and the union had changed, and it was just a big horrible situation, and it was like very stressful, and you were very supportive, and we used to just like have cocktail water for a long time. You remember that?

SPEAKER_00 16:04

Oh, I remember it.

SPEAKER_02 16:05

Yeah, stressful. Yeah. Anyway, um, I don't know what that would have been. We would have been 50, 55 in their area.

SPEAKER_01 16:18

I remember growing up, you guys when dad would get home. Did you have a Manhattan every night?

unknown 16:23

Probably.

SPEAKER_01 16:24

Yeah, and you guys would sit in the living room. I didn't have a drink when you were growing up, you know. So you maybe just sat with him while and you guys would talk about your days, and yeah, and I would be like, ugh, I wanna talk, I wanna play. But you guys always had dad had a drink.

SPEAKER_02 16:41

I didn't drink um when you were growing up. I didn't have a drink before dinner. Um, that was dad's thing.

SPEAKER_01 16:51

Okay. So um. So what's the weirdest part of having a sober daughter that talks about it publicly? Dad, you were kind of saying you didn't really wanna talk. Not probably not about it, you don't mind about me, but just being on the net. Being out there.

SPEAKER_00 17:19

Well, that's true, that's what I said.

SPEAKER_01 17:21

Yeah. But like, does it what do you do you guys tell people that I have a podcast about it? Or like, do you tell people I'm sober?

SPEAKER_02 17:28

Or yeah, we just yeah, they it's fine. Um we we love our two kids a lot and um and their families, by the way. Nate if you're listening, Mike if you're listening, Amy, um, we think it's just great, and uh I think that's about it, yeah. Okay, we're proud of you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 18:02

Well, I appreciate the support. And um, we're proud of Nate too.

SPEAKER_02 18:10

Yeah, I didn't know Anate had an issue.

SPEAKER_01 18:17

Yeah, yeah, it can be it's not something you talk about, yeah. You know, well, I was I was thankful that he quit because obviously that probably helped me something. I mean, I did it did take me like seven, eight months after that, and he did not pressure me any at all. Like, it's pretty amazing how he just still like supported me, making sure I was safe, didn't pressure me to stop drinking, didn't make me feel guilty.

SPEAKER_02 18:55

Well, you kind of had a drinking buddy, didn't you, there? The one you lived in that um Oh yeah, I had several.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

Uh yeah. It was when we lived in Wizetta in that little neighborhood.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

Um I mean it was a really fun time, but then it just got to where it was affecting my health, and just I started feeling a little bit more helpless. Now I'm like, I feel like I'm totally different in my outlook anyway on life, and um, so that's good. I don't think I would have gotten into the breath work or or anything like that if I well that's true.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

They say alcohol is a depressant, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:39

And I take antidepressants, and so does Nate. So it's like it kind of was kind of like, why are we doing that? It doesn't make sense, but it is like a social thing, and it is to me, I don't feel like I was addicted to it because I was able to stop and not have any effects. I just feel like for me it was like a habit, it was just habitual, and I mean I'd have like those stupid cooler things, yeah. Like those, you know, it wasn't like I was drinking. I mean, sometimes I would drink vodka, but it wasn't like I was. I think it's different if you're drinking like you know, like a lot of liquor every day. I feel like maybe somehow your body gets addicted to that. But yeah, even with like cigarettes, like, and I would want to smoke when I would drink. Yeah, and I never felt addicted to cigarettes.

SPEAKER_02 20:33

You know, when I quit smoking, it was not hard. Yeah. I had a sore throat and I quit smoking, and then I used uh unlit cigarette just because I think I liked the action of holding it.

SPEAKER_01 20:46

Yeah, it was like a social thing. Like I loved having even just like coffee with my neighbor every day. I've lit cigarettes and coffee outside. Yeah. But um, yeah, when I decided to stop, I didn't and I think that's like one of the most addictive things, cigarettes. But somehow, luckily, by the grace of God, I never felt physically addicted to either alcohol or cigarettes.

SPEAKER_02 21:12

So could be in the genes, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:15

I mean, and your dad was able to stop for six years, and he didn't see a doctor or anything, did he?

SPEAKER_02 21:22

Like no.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

So, yeah, I don't know why that is, but is there anything else? We're having a lovely visit. We're sitting in my parents' new home in Arizona, and we're looking at a waterfall and a golf course and mountains, and it's just been very lovely. That's we are enjoying having Megan here. So, anything you guys want to say to the to the listeners? Oh, listeners, I'm so happy you're there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:01

I can just add to that.

SPEAKER_01 22:04

What will you add?

SPEAKER_00 22:07

He loves the that's the problem.

SPEAKER_01 22:11

Jim, Jim. Jim. We kind of forced him. We don't have him chained down to the chair, but he did come on his own. Sort of. Yeah. Anyway, I appreciate you guys sitting down with me. And I appreciate your support and your love. And it's so great that I can come and see you guys. And I plan to be doing more of it. That's well.

SPEAKER_00 22:36

I really enjoy having you here.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

Good. You are our favorite guy. Well, yes. Okay, guys. Thanks for listening, and we will see you, or you will hear us next week.