Dry Life: Sobriety As Identity

Nate explores sobriety as your identity.

Transcript

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Hey folks, it's Nate with the Dry Life. Hope you're doing well today. I recently uh recently read an article in Psychology Today called Action Steps to Make Sobriety Part of Your Identity. And I thought it was a it was a quick read, but it had a lot of good stuff in it, so I was thinking I would talk about that today and just cover you know some things about the article. Again, it's in Psychology Today. If you want to read it, it's uh action steps to make sobriety part of your identity. Um the article talks about how you know sobriety changes, reshapes identity, habits, relationships, and environment. And it's not just the drinking behavior. So a lot of different things change when you give up drinking. And um, you know, uh, and and with those changes, um, I you know, identifying the changes, realizing what is changing, um, really uh solidifies the idea that you um are making sobriety your your your life. Um and really you know, if people you know the people that integrate sobriety into their core identity are the ones that um are generally going to stick with it. I I guess I would say, I mean, I don't necessarily think about it all that much, but I would say that sobriety is definitely a part of my identity. Um, I'm coming up uh two months away from the five-year anniversary, and I I I can't believe it's been that long, you know. Um, and it's just kind of who I am. It's just a part of who I am. I don't think about it all the time, but it definitely um my life definitely has changed um because of my sobriety. Um, you know, habits, absolutely, relationships, environment, all those things, and my overall identity um definitely has been shaped by sobriety. Um I think most people think that um you know giving up alcohol uh is just a behavioral change. And you know, I think with an identity shift, as I mentioned, um you're more invested and you're more likely to stick with it. And you know, in my case, it was um I was drinking a lot, and the idea was just to take a break. Here we are coming up on five years. So uh everybody's gotta you know their reasons um that they're exploring sobriety, and uh, you know, it's just a matter, I mean, that's a personal thing, and it and again, back to identity. Um, it's really about who you are or who you want to be. Um and the cool thing about sobriety, the article talks a little bit about that, is the article says that sobriety also creates time. Um we've talked about this in previous podcasts, that um, you know, drinking, planning around it, recovering from drinking, it all takes time and effort and just thinking about it. Um when that all opens up, then you have an opportunity to fill that time with um maybe more worthwhile activities, things that um are positive in nature that are maybe more productive and more in line with who you want to be. Um it's uh uh you know good time to to uh take a take an inventory of your life and see what you like, what you don't like, what you want to change, and um and that. So, you know, the the time factor is is huge. Um but uh you know one thing one thing to think about in the article talks about this is that you know for a lot of people, myself included now that I look back on it, um alcohol serves a number of purposes. And one of them, for a lot of people, is uh the idea of an escape or numbing um some painful things that are in your life, you know, it uh it it it helps with um kind of getting over stuff, coping, that type of thing. Um and once that's gone, you really have to face things head on without that buffer, without that artificial coping, masking what you're really feeling, and um this stuff will um boil to the surface and you gotta deal with it. And you know, of course, there's all kinds of help for that to work through the stuff that you have been burying, numbing yourself over and avoiding, um, but as you do that, um your I believe your life and your purpose and your identity become clearer and more focused, and maybe the true you comes out, um because you know alcohol can can make you a different person. I think everybody kind of understands that, and when you take it away, um you uh change, and uh I'd like to think that you become more like yourself. Um yeah, just kind of you know discovering again who you are and um who you want to be too. Uh the article also talks about um how you, you know, some things you can do uh that are important is building your community. Um and we, I mean, uh Megan and I just kinda this kind of happened. Uh we didn't necessarily shift to or build a new community, we had to sort of leave a community, and there's a void there for sure. There's a social void there, but as you move forward, you know, you surround yourself with the people, you you're you're taking part in the routines and you're in the environments that can support you in your sobriety. And you know, either uh these things, these activities, these people, um, are either for or against what you're trying to do. Um and you know, whether or not they know it, um, you know, you you you just gotta line up things that are gonna help you succeed. And you know, going back to the uh numbing effect of alcohol, you know, you've you there is gonna be uh discomfort. You're getting out of your comfort zone. And um you the article talks about um how your social circuit circles um shift and you know eventually becomes part of who you are, and they call it this is realignment, not loss. You know, oh I lost my drinking buddies, I can't hang with them anymore. Well, one way to look at it is that you're realigning yourself, you are um kind of striking out on a new path, which is exciting. Um, and you know, there's a lot of folks out there that choose not your drink. And um you know, I think it's a it's a pretty great thing when you can find them and um and have that have that immediate bond and you know plan activities, social stuff without it, without the alcohol. Um and I think you know there's uh there's one quote from the article that I think really hit home for me. Um it says uh sobriety that lasts is rarely just about not drinking, it is about building a life where identity, environment, emotional resilience work together. It happens one deliberate choice at a time until the person you are becoming feels more like the person you truly are. I think it was just really well written and um is a great way to summarize this article. So, a few things to think about. Um, again, um I give a lot of credit for the folks that put this article together. Um again, it's in psychology today. Um, action steps to make sobriety part of your identity. Just uh do a search. I'm sure you can find it, and you can read it over and um you know come to your own conclusions about it, and whether, you know, if there's a couple things you take away from it, great. And I'm sure the authors that put it together were think of the same thing. You may not agree with all of it, but there's probably a couple things that that might hit home. So that's all I got today. I hope you have a wonderful week and we'll uh we'll talk to you next time. Thanks.