Strength Training While Pregnant: A Surrogate’s Perspective

Strength training while pregnant is one of the most misunderstood topics in women’s health, especially within the context of surrogacy.

In this episode, we sit down with Lauren to share her journey into surrogacy—what led her to say yes, what the process actually looked like, and the responsibility of carrying a baby for someone else.

We also explore how she approached strength training during pregnancy, how she adapted her workouts, and how staying active supported both her physical health and mental resilience.

This conversation goes beyond surface-level advice. It’s about trust, discipline, and learning how to work with your body instead of against it.

If you’ve ever been curious about surrogacy or questioned what’s safe when it comes to working out during pregnancy, this episode offers a grounded and honest perspective.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

I wanted to spread awareness of surrogacy. You know, how many people know a surrogate? Not that I didn't know any before this. I still don't like personally know any.

SPEAKER_04 0:09

That's how the story went when we started like, oh, congratulations. And you're like, not mine. Yeah. And I've taken aback. And then we were like, hold on. We get what it's like when men say that. Yes. But for a woman to say that, exactly.

SPEAKER_03 0:21

You're listening to the All In Wellness Approach podcast. This is your wellness, your life. So just one question. Are you ready to go all in? Welcome to the show, Lawrence.

SPEAKER_04 0:32

Thank you so much for having me. So excited to be here. I love that we're gonna get to dive into your story. You've been a member at TrueFit, and we didn't know the secret of your last pregnancy. So we will kind of get to that. But let's go to who you are. Did you grow up in Texas?

SPEAKER_02 0:50

So I was born and raised in Houston, graduated high school there, and then moved here to Austin. And then um, when I was about early 20s, maybe 22, my mom was living in San Diego with my stepdad. And you know, I was kind of stuck here complacent. So I was like, I'm gonna go to San Diego for six weeks. I went and I was there eight years. That's where I met my husband. Um, whenever we got married and pregnant with our first, we decided to move back to Texas because it's where most of my family was and we wanted to be around them. So he was a born and raised Cali boy, and I made him come to Texas, and he's still bitter about that, I think. But you know, had our first and then knew we wanted a big family. A little under two years, we would have our next one. So get pregnant around a year later, have our next one. We have four little kids at home, two dogs, a cat. My husband works full-time. I work PRN at a hospital, I work night shift. I needed something to do for myself away from my children. My own identity that is not them. My husband's like, why do you work night shift? And I'm like, I just need to get away from this.

SPEAKER_04 1:56

So yeah, I do that a few days a week. I love that you had the awareness to need an identity outside of being because being a mom of four is enough. Yes, right. But also being like, hey, I'm also still Lauren. Yes. And Lauren would like to have her own story besides mom and wife.

SPEAKER_02 2:11

Yes. I went to school for medical things and I don't want them to just be wasted. So even if I do it occasionally, because like I said, I work three ships in a six-week period. So not a lot, but it's just anything. And I have like a work family, it's nice to have my own thing.

SPEAKER_04 2:26

Pregnancy, having four kiddos. Tell us about that everybody's journey. Right now, you hear a lot of people struggling to get pregnant. Was pregnancy easy for you? Was it difficult? How'd it go with the first one? And then we'll go through all the way through number four.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

It was very easy, which uh very grateful for. My husband and I got married, and then we were like, oh, we want to start a family. So I started ovulation testing the very first time, stuck. Um, but after that, whenever we started trying again, I did have a miscarriage, which was hard, but I found that talking about it helped me heal because this was six years ago. And people don't talk about it a lot. You know, you feel like shame. Yeah. And then once I started talking about it, I realized there's a lot of people who go through this and you know, early miscarriages and stuff. And so it was nice to just talk about it and say, Oh, I'm feeling this way. I would see other people get pregnant with social media. And I'm like, it's not fair, you know. You can have those feelings, they're valid, even though I feel bad that I felt that way, you know, why is it so easy for them?

SPEAKER_04 3:30

I think normalizing miscarriage, yes, which sounds it's not like an acceptance or like to dismiss how hard it is. But I think if women went into it being like, hey, most of us are gonna have that once or twice, even along the road, then I think it would make it feel less isolating. And not that it's not gonna be heavy, because that's always gonna be heavy, but maybe just at least not so alone and not so devastating to where you still have hope, like, hey, right, that doesn't mean I won't ever.

SPEAKER_02 4:00

It's just that this was the one. Because you talk about it and then other people are like, I this happened to me, but don't give up, you know. And so I didn't, and we tried again and then got pregnant with our second pretty quickly. And then our third was again about a year after we started trying again. Got pregnant um within a few months. The first one was the first try, the other ones like were a few months, and then we would get pregnant. So very grateful that it was not difficult in that way. The first one at age eight, he's eight now. I so I don't know how old I was. So 31. I want first one at 31. Second one I've been pregnant every year since 2017, which is kind of the bombshell for your story.

SPEAKER_04 4:50

Is you'd already had four babies of your own, now at 38, and you decided to become a surrogate, which is such a gift. So let's go down that path. And what sparked that in you, especially at an age where most people are worried about it? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

So surrogacy, take us through that. Yes, surrogacy. Um, so whenever I was pregnant with my first, I absolutely loved being pregnant. I had easy pregnancies, no morning sickness, nothing like that. I I felt great. I loved the way I felt pregnant. I was I love the way I looked pregnant, you know. Some people are just like, oh, your body's changing, but I loved it. I'm growing this human and thought it was amazing. And so from the time I was pregnant with him, I had him and I was like, I want to be a surrogate. And that uh like it that just popped into my head, you know, okay, this is something I want to do, but obviously we're not done, so we're not gonna do that yet. Like I gotta have four first. So we didn't know how many we wanted, but then once we had our fourth, we were like, okay, we've got a lot, they're all under two years apart. We were we were fulfilled in that manner. Uh, but I told my husband, I'm done with our own children, but I am not done being pregnant myself. There's a way that I can fulfill that part by helping another family. His reaction. He was a reaction was absolutely not, you know. Why would you do that? And I think most people's reactions are, you can't give up this baby. You can't, you can't give away a baby. And I was like, first of all, my body, you know. Telling you and not asking. Exactly. And which I should not have done that. But it was like, you know, this is going to affect us because obviously I will be pregnant, I will have hormones. So he was like, Why would you do this? So I started showing him stories on Instagram and they were able to have a family because of surrogacy. Um, and he's like, Okay, if this is something you want to do, then I'm on board. And I was like, But I need you to like really be on board. You're not just okay, she won't shut up about it. I need you to want this. And he's like, Okay, we're gonna help a family. It's gonna help us financially too, because I do get compensated for it. Uh, I couldn't imagine, you know, our our kid not having our kids and having to struggle to have children. And we can find a family who is struggling and we can help them.

SPEAKER_04 7:07

And you feel like God blessed you that that I was lovely pregnancy? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 7:12

Yes. I'm I'm good at it. I'm good at being pregnant, I guess you could say. I enjoy it. I've met plenty of people who are like, I would not, because pregnancy is not fun for me and I love it, you know. I didn't tell family until after um I signed on with an agency. So I found an agency, and what they do is you sign on with them, they catch you with someone who's in align alignment with them.

SPEAKER_04 7:34

Picking an agency too. Yeah, I mean if there's someone listening and they're like, I want to gift this to somebody, how do you go about finding an agency that aligns with your values?

SPEAKER_02 7:44

You can get online and research. Don't just Google those agencies are paying for their name to be at the top. It doesn't mean that they're the best. Um, because there are unfortunately unethical agencies out there. It's not extremely regulated in some parts. So you can get predatory agencies that are gonna pay you this small amount. We're gonna give you these questionable intended parents. And it's it's red flags, but some people go in to it and see money. That's what gives surrogacy a bad name. Right. Um, so what would be some green flags where you were like, yes to this? Doing single embryo transfers, like in IVF. Some, if you're doing it on your own, you'll transfer multiple embryos because you in hopes of one sticking or you know, multiples or something, but it's really unsafe. And it's unsafe for parents to want to choose to do that to you, even though they're paying you, but they're not looking out for your well-being. If you want to do that for your own eggs, I feel like that's your choice. But putting someone else through it and an um, you know, a clinic saying, okay, yeah, let's dump three in there. Because one egg can split. So if you do two embryos, you could end up with four kids. That's not safe for the you as a surrogate, it's not safe for the kids, anything like that. Did your faith play into it at all? You can say how you feel, and they'll match you with like-minded individuals. Faith was big with telling my dad because my dad is Catholic. And when I told him, he's like, No, you're not gonna do it. And I'm like, Can I tell you telling you to be nice, to not shock you? But I like explained to him and showed him st other stories, and then that's when it's just having knowledge of what actually is happening and what you're doing. But the rest of my family, they're like, that's wonderful, you want to do that for someone else.

SPEAKER_04 9:40

Okay. The knowledge piece hit me, which I feel silly for, but maybe someone else feels the same way. Of course, thinking surrogacy, thinking that the mother donating the egg would have to go through IVF. I totally didn't even register until we talked about it too. That then that's a path you have to do as well as the vessel to prep your body to be able to help someone else.

SPEAKER_02 10:01

Yes. The mom in our situation uh could not carry um a baby, but her eggs were fine. Her and her husband were able to make embryos. So she did go to the clinic, did her egg retrieval, and they made the embryos. And then when it came to my turn, taking all the IVF meds to trick your body into thinking it's pregnant once this embryo is implanted. You're taking estrogen, you're taking progesterone. I was doing injections in my hips every day, and you do that till about 10 to 12 weeks, depending once the placenta takes over. So it was a lot of medications added, you know, that I didn't really think of beforehand. It was a lot. Luckily for me, the IVF meds didn't affect me. Some people, you'll get headaches, you'll start getting skin blemishes and stuff because of all the hormones you're putting in. But for me, it was very smooth IVF process. Um, and more empathy to those who have to do that just to get pregnant themselves. It was not for the faint of heart, that's for sure. Because, you know, in the end, you're doing all that and you could be putting yourself through all that, and then it could not work. So um, luckily for me, it stuck on the first try. Some of the parents run out of embryos. So then we've got to wait six months to try again because now the mom has to go through the cycle for her egg retrieval and all that. So we got very lucky. Agency help manage that process. Yes. The agency, they're like, we're gonna use this clinic. So you guys come here, make your embryos. And so now they still have a bunch of embryos frozen at the clinic if they want to do it again. The agency is very helpful for maneuvering through all those areas that I knew nothing about because you can go independent, but they're more knowledgeable. And what a hard conversation because there is compensation for it. So the compensation thing, it's weird, you know, because they're paying you, but it's a big chunk of your life. Usually the whole thing takes at least a year. And then, yeah, you're carrying a baby and you're putting your body at risk because things can happen. People do get put on bed rest. Um, you could have complications. You're supposed to go into this, done with your family, because during delivery, something could happen and I could need a hysterectomy. You know, you could lose organs that would help you have another baby.

SPEAKER_04 12:20

Right.

SPEAKER_02 12:20

That's the mindset you have to go in. There is a lot of risk for the surrogate as well. Um, but so that's kind of where the compensation comes into play. Like, yes, I'm getting something, but I could also have a lot to lose. On both ends of it.

SPEAKER_04 12:34

Yes. So so nice to have a third-party help manage. Yeah, I can't imagine trying to navigate that independently. So then how does the family or the intended parent process picking go after you've picked your agency? And now how do they assign you?

SPEAKER_02 12:52

I actually met with another family prior to this one, and they um had a surrogate who was pregnant at the time and was due to deliver at the end of the year. And they were like, we want to do a sibling, but this was gonna be their first baby. So they were like, we don't know if we want to start a journey right now. So we weren't on the same timeline. So they sent me another profile and which you read over their profile, and then if you're like, okay, I do a Zoom, a Zoom meeting, and then you can just sit there and talk and you know, tell them about your life, what you do, how you guys met, things like that. Kind of like vibe you get, you know, while you're talking. Like, is this someone that I could spend the next year having a relationship with, you know, helping them bring a child into the world? And they were wonderful people. Right after we got off the phone, I emailed and I was like, yes, they they are it. They also said yes. And then that's when we were able to go through legal, so everything's under contracts. And then you get with the clinics, you set up all the the med schedule. We were able to just build a relationship. They suggest the agency suggested talking as much as you wanted regularly. I think we use WhatsApp. Um, and we would just message back and forth all the time and like getting to know me and my family, I'd send them pictures of the kids. And and then they also the agency also suggested FaceTime calls once a month. Do you feel like that helped? Oh, yeah. Because especially having my own kids, I'm gonna be pregnant and they're gonna be like, Is it our sibling? You know, these are who we're gonna help. And they would talk to them and um and the kids loved it, but it was nice for them to put a face with, okay, this is what mom is doing this for. So there was no confusion that was helpful.

SPEAKER_04 14:43

I can't imagine having to navigate the whole scenario of surrogacy and then also trying to explain to your four little babies of your own, like, you know, this your sibling in here, this is for somebody else.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

Yes, and that was hard for them. Like, well, why can't she have the baby? And I'm like, not everybody is able to have a baby.

SPEAKER_04 15:00

So you you have girls, though. So to have that conversation at a young age for them to understand and process that, okay, normalizing that you know it's not the same for everyone.

SPEAKER_02 15:11

Yes, exactly. They all took it very well, and getting to know the parents helped them through that process. Because they live in another country, I didn't meet them physically until the transfer in Connecticut. So that was the first time we met, and the mom speaks a little bit of English. Most of my communication was with the dad when we were speaking, but me and the mom could message on the app and it would translate. So we would talk through there. But it was crazy because we met in the hotel lobby, and I saw her get out of the car, and she came in, and I we just embraced in a huge hug, and we're both crying, and we haven't even done anything yet. We both knew she was so grateful for what I was doing, and I was so happy to meet her and hopefully help her with this journey to being a mom and having a child.

SPEAKER_04 16:01

So having that connection and those good vibes probably is part of the reason as to why it did take.

SPEAKER_02 16:06

Yes, just positive and everything. Even though we couldn't communicate, we could talk a little, but her husband would have to translate. But we went to dinner and um she was always touching me and hugging and just like looking at each other. We just knew that this was special, and even though we couldn't communicate, there was still a bond shared between us.

SPEAKER_04 16:25

There's something special about having that language barrier and just being able to be like, no, our souls get it. I may not understand what you're saying, but I get you.

SPEAKER_02 16:33

Yes, exactly. One weekend I had messaged them and I was like, Oh, I'm so sorry. It was my birthday, so I haven't been able to respond. And they're like, wait, does your birthday win? I told them and they're like, that's when her birthday is. So we share our same birthday. So it was like little things throughout the journey. She was very big on signs and she was like, This is just crazy. Of all the people in the world, and then we match, and then her and I share the same birthday. It was pretty wild.

SPEAKER_04 17:03

Was there ever part of the process where doubt creeped in where you thought maybe this wasn't the right decision? Or, you know, am I fit to do this?

SPEAKER_02 17:12

Physically, I always felt great. I think mentally it's a lot. When we were flying out for the transfer, you know, and I'm like, we're going to another state to go put a baby in me. Are we doing this? I can't back out now. Like it's a huge life decision you're making. I want to help this family. Um, but when it comes down to it, but then when it comes down to it, I'm going to do this. And then just meeting them in person and the amount of love that they showed me, I was like, okay, this is it helps calm the nerves. And, you know, because it is, it is a scary thing, but um, it made me realize this is why we're doing this. There's a purpose, there's a goal at the end. We want to get them a child.

SPEAKER_04 17:56

The thing that's been the hardest for people when I talk to them about the topic is they're like, I just don't think I could give away a baby from the beginning. You were like, this is not mine. Did you have just like a mental mantra that you would say to yourself along the process if weird thoughts creeped in?

SPEAKER_02 18:11

So for me, I it's not my DNA at all. I'm just the carrier to get the baby earth side, and I knew I was content with my family. I do not want any more little ones. Somehow I was able to block it. I I don't know if it sounds old, but we went to the heartbeat um confirmation and I was there uh at the clinic, and hey, there's the heartbeat, and I I did what I was supposed to do. My body did what it was supposed to do. That's how I like went through phases. My end goal is getting this baby to these parents, but I am in no way felt a connection. There was a purpose, there was never a motherly connection with it.

SPEAKER_04 18:55

Have you always been able to compartmentalize and just look at things as more of a goal and separate the emotional parts of it? Or is that something maybe later in life and because you have four beautiful kids of your own? So, because I think for some people it's just natural to them, but other people have to really work hard to separate that.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

I think that I have I am good at separating when there's like a goal or an issue. My husband thinks I'm like kind of cold sometimes, you know. He's like, You're so nice to other people and you are so mean to me. And I'm like, this is what needs to be done, you know. So I think I've always been like that, and that definitely helped. But also I had the embryo transfer when my youngest was one year, and then I have the three olders, all six and under, you know. So I'm like, I was busy. I didn't have I was time to be like, I'm gonna have this baby. I was just like, I've got this life to live, and while I'm doing it, I'm helping someone else get to their family.

SPEAKER_04 19:59

What a special angel you are. And your husband may think that's cold, but I look at it almost like you were built for this. Pregnancy is easy for you and you enjoy it, and you can mentally compartmentalize it. Like, I feel like this is 100% what God put you here to do. I don't have any kiddos of my own. All three of us gals on the podcast are at, you know, different phases of that. And we never kind of tapped into that age because I think that's a big thing too, where people are having babies later. Kind of what was your thought of your age to do this?

SPEAKER_02 20:32

Like I said, my first, I was 31. Everybody is getting pregnant later for the most part. You're seeing people into their 40s, you know, having babies. And I had an aunt who was 40 when she had her last. And um, you know, I know I can do this, but for me, the biggest difference with my other ones was how active I was. I'm active because I have four kids that are doing all the things, so I can't just sit around and then being in a gym and doing strength training was by far like the best thing I could have done.

SPEAKER_04 21:03

I was gonna tap into that when you went through that vetting process with the family, telling them, hey, I'm gonna work out pretty hard through this whole thing. How did that part go?

SPEAKER_02 21:12

Whenever you do the match call, asking, How active are you? And it's like I do a bunch of stuff with my kids. We're going on bike rides, we are out at the baseball field, we're gonna go do things. I can't stop living my life with my four kids. And they totally understood that. And I was like, uh, I go to the gym, you know, there's gonna be weights being lifted that are heavy. Like you're gonna see me doing things. They are active people too. So they're like, yeah, whatever is healthy for you, and you've done this four times. So we trust you're not gonna do anything that you shouldn't do.

SPEAKER_04 21:44

Did you strength train through all of your babies?

SPEAKER_02 21:47

To answer that, simply no. I would do machines at the gym, you know, at the Y, and but I'm not motivated when I go to the gym by myself. I need someone to say, this is. The exercise you're doing and get it done. So what made you pick the gym?

SPEAKER_04 22:06

Yes. True fit. And I think it was like in the midst of all of your dis big decisions.

SPEAKER_02 22:11

Another TrueFit member was telling me that about the gym. And so she was like, You should join in December. They do a free month. So I joined December and I transferred in the middle of January. So I was working out consistently and with the harder workout regimen for a month and a half going in. So I already was in better shape, felt really good. My OB, she's like, Whatever you can work out during pregnancy, maintain whatever you're doing. Whatever you did before you can do during. Yes. So I was like, okay, so I've got a good month and a half base. Um, I did that and it was great. I felt better the whole time. I was able to run around with my kids just as much as I did without being pregnant. And it's all because of the strength training and stuff that I did at the gym.

SPEAKER_04 23:00

You were doing group classes, which are pretty intense, and then also doing some personal training. So talk about how that made you feel and then maybe what you would tell someone if they were afraid.

SPEAKER_02 23:11

So I was doing the group classes, and then I did the semi-private too, and that was fun. And I those are more like you're lifting even heavier, trying to get PRs. But like I said, I felt great. And my OBs, like, as long as you feel good, keep doing it. And I would post videos and the intended parents would be like, Oh, we saw you. But they wouldn't say anything, they're just like, Wow, you know, pretty impressive. Like just acknowledging. Yes, yes, just just we're watching, you know. The mom would always be like, I'm really like impressed that you can do that. So don't stop just because you're pregnant. If you're feeling good, keep doing it. And um, once I got to the privates, I did that towards the very end of pregnancy. And, you know, we'd be doing leg presses and I'd be going real deep. And I'm like, getting my pelvis ready for this delivery, you know. And my trainer would always be like, You feel good? Do we need to adjust anything? I feel great. And she was great and she pushed me. But if I ever said anything, she's like, All right, if we need to stop, whatever you can do. But it was amazing doing all that, being that active, because I felt great. I was the oldest I had been. So by the time I had him, I'm 39 now. Had four previous kids. Now I'm having this fifth one, and it was the best I had felt for sure.

SPEAKER_04 24:30

And right now, you're only five months, yes. You were able, like you posted a video and I was showing one of my other clients who's trying to get pregnant, and she was cautious. She's like, Am I still gonna be able to do this? And I was like, Let me show you. Yes, you can. You look amazing. Do you feel like it helped you bounce back faster after?

SPEAKER_02 24:49

Yes, a hundred percent. And and I know that you're comparing yourself to people on Instagram, and you know, you see they just had a baby and it's been like a week, and it's like, oh my god. People are like, oh, it's genetics. And I'm like, it's it's lifestyle. It is because with my other kids, the bounce back was not as good. I wasn't working out as consistently. And after a week or two, I like my body's like, okay, we're going back to where we're supposed to be. And that was the first time that happened. It's never been a huge struggle to get back, but I could see drastically, and my husband too. He's like, You look really good. Thank you.

SPEAKER_04 25:24

You had said something like, I took so many selfies and videos of me pregnant because you felt like you still had muscle tone and you enjoyed even being pregnant, how you felt.

SPEAKER_02 25:34

Yes, because can continuing to lift throughout pregnancy, I could still see, okay, yes, I'm getting bigger in the midsection, but I can see that my other muscles, they're getting more defined because I didn't stop. I kept kept doing it, and it was motivating for me to see, okay, I'm pregnant, and I still look pretty good, you know, and uh I'm gonna keep going to the gym. And just everybody at the gym was so encouraging. It was fun to go in and talk to everybody about it. I wanted to spread awareness of surrogacy, you know. How many people know a surrogate? Not that I didn't know any before this. I still don't like personally know any.

SPEAKER_04 26:11

That's how the story went when we saw you were like, oh, congratulations. And you're like, not mine. Yeah. Like taken aback at first. We were like, hold on. We get what it's like when men say that.

SPEAKER_02 26:20

Yes, but for a woman to say that exactly. It was just a welcoming community. It was fun to go work out with everybody and then kind of tell them a little bit about surrogacy. And then for everybody to be so encouraging, like, I can't believe you're all here doing this. That's awesome that you're still working out. And uh, you know, and some of the women they're like, Well, I was told I couldn't work out. I wish I would have known better, because just all in all, you feel better. The delivery was so much easier, the recovery so much easier.

SPEAKER_04 26:49

How exciting then you have a community that you can't wait to get back to postpartum. Yeah. Which I think is hard for women afterwards. You already had your kiddos, so you already did still have babies to take care of. But then they're like, Oh, I have this child to take care of, and they prolong good and go to any sort of health regimen where you went back as soon as possible. How many weeks?

SPEAKER_02 27:09

Six weeks I went back. I was ready to go back. I had done some things with bands at home in between a little pelvic floor stuff, but it was like I never left. I hadn't lost the muscle. I was able to still lift pretty close to what I was lifting before. So it was a good thing to do to stay active throughout the whole pregnancy.

SPEAKER_04 27:31

What would you tell someone who was like, yeah, I quit because I'm afraid?

SPEAKER_02 27:35

I would say your health and being active is gonna be good for everybody. It's gonna be good for your pregnant body, it's gonna be good for you afterwards, taking care of your baby. You don't want to not do it, something that brings you joy just because you're afraid. Don't be afraid. This is gonna help you all around in all aspects of the pregnancy, of the postpartum. Um, it's just something that you should do. I wish I would have done it with all of mine, but it's it's that happy part of my day that I would get to go do. And it really helped me throughout pregnancy.

SPEAKER_04 28:13

And it'll teach you not to be afraid throughout the whole thing because I think carrying that fear is gonna potentially create the thing that you're afraid of. Yes, exactly. Right? Instead of living in your strength and in your faith that nope, I'm gonna take care of my body and so the baby will be taken care of too.

SPEAKER_02 28:29

Yeah, yeah. Because yeah, working out is only making you a healthier vessel for this baby.

SPEAKER_04 28:35

Give us kind of a short condensed version of the labor. Because I feel like strength training maybe helped that go smoothly too. Um, and it's kind of a funny story.

SPEAKER_02 28:45

Okay, so for my very first, I ended up having a C-section. Um, and then I had three V backs after that. So it's always so interesting to me because I always thought, you know, once you had a C-section, I thought you knew all of it. And that is that is very common what people think. And I actually have a friend who um had a C-section and they're like, well, for the next one, I've already had a C-section, let's just do that again and don't even want to try for the V-back. For me, I was like, no, I want to try. So I was able to try and was successful with the other three. And so this one, I was like, okay, we're gonna do that again. The family's gonna be there and you know, it's gonna be this calm, peaceful, beautiful thing. When I was doing the leg presses and we're opening up the hips, I was doing all these things to open it everything up where this baby is gonna come out this way because he was measuring big, um uh uh 80 to 90th percentile, and all my kids were 50th percentile. So this is gonna be a big baby. So I was worried I do not want to have to have a C-section. I had one years ago and then I did all these V backs, and now I'm gonna end up with another C-section and recovery-wise, did not want that. I went to a workout on a Wednesday to my 4:30 class, and um, it was funny because towards the end when I'd be doing squats, John is like, please don't have that baby in here. And I'm like, I just gotta get ready. He's like, if your water breaks, leave. But I was just doing all the things to prep. Um, so I had an induction date for that Friday, and that Wednesday went and worked out, got home, was doing stretches, feeling great, no contractions, nothing. And then um 11 p.m. I got up to go to the bathroom and my water broke. And this is the first time my water's fully broken. My husband's like, these seem quick. Um, are you okay? And all of my labors have been a few hours. So I'm like, we've got time, my mom has to come, we need to call the parents. All these things have to happen. But I could kind of tell these are quick contractions, they're heavy. I think this is gonna be fast. So my mom gets there, we get in the car, head to the hospital, call the parents, call the birth photographer. On the way, I don't have my ID, there's no time to turn around. We get on the highway and our exit is closed because of construction, and I'm dying at this point. I'm turned around in the car, I'm just breathing. We've never experienced that because we've always been in the hospital when it's been this far. And then I'm like, okay, let's get the epidural now. And I was always told I was had to get an epidural because of my previous C-section in case I had to get another one, they didn't have to knock me out. So we gotta get to the hospital, get this epidural. This is hurting so bad. We take another route to the hospital, we get stuck behind a train. So it was like, what could happen in any scenario that would make this worse? And it was that yes, this is what is happening. This is gonna be a car baby. And I've seen car babies born before on Instagram. So I'm like, okay, should we set the camera up? Just so they could see their baby being born. And um, and in all the car ones too that I've seen, the mom is sitting like I was sitting, holding the headrest, ready to deliver if need be. And my husband's like, She is about to have this other person's kid in our car. Like, I just gotta get her to the hospital.

SPEAKER_04 32:06

The intended parents already in the country.

SPEAKER_02 32:08

Yes. So they had gotten here when I was 36 weeks. So they were staying at an Airbnb. We had called them and they were on their way to the hospital. We finally get past the train, get to the ER. My husband, he's like, Where's the ER? Everybody knows it's the sign that says ER. He turns before the ER sign, and I'm like, What are you doing? He's like, it said ER this way. No, literally at the sign. Like, and I kept telling him, This baby is going to come out. You have to get me to the circle drive of the ER. That's where this car needs to be, not wherever the heck you're going right now. We're going behind the hospital. We pull into a parking lot that you get a ticket from. This is absolutely insane. And I'm just like, if I release anything, the baby is coming out. And I've never had an unmedicated birth. So I've never had this feeling because at this point, I cannot get an epidural. We're so far past that. The other ones, they're like, push, bear down. And I'm like, I think I'm doing it. I don't know. I can't feel. And this one, I'm like, no, no, no. It is right there and it's about to happen. So we're in that parking lot. So he jumps a curb because to get out, you had to stick your ticket in and pay. So he jumped a curb, whips around to the front of the ER, goes inside, and he's like, My wife's in labor. So I'm still just holding, like, okay, we're not gonna have this baby. And the nurse is like, Is there a head? No, there's no head. But something's happening. The security guard's like, okay, I'll take you to labor and delivery. So I get in the wheelchair and she starts to take me. And all of a sudden, my body was like, We're pushing. And I was like, I'm about to push. And she's like, Oh, no, you're not. And she's turns me around, yells out to the nurse in the ER. And then I'm hanging onto the wheelchair, screaming, and my body is just pushing. Your body knows what you're supposed to do. Finally, get in a room in the ER. They throw me on the table. They're not used to uh deliveries in the ER. So I just had a bunch of eyes on me, just staring and nobody helping. The ER doc is like, oh, I think we have some time. I don't know why you think we have time. My body is physically pushing and I'm yelling for meds, knowing I cannot get meds. But and then they call a code stork. So they get people from labor and delivery. Yeah, I know. So cute. They're like, code stork and over the intercom. Finally, some people who know what they're doing come down. And my doctor was on call. So she came down. So she's getting ready. All of a sudden, the photographer runs in. She made it just in time. And then where are the parents? And she's like, I called them. I told them you're in the ER because they were gonna go up to labor and delivery. They're trying to get over here because there was construction at the hospital and they had parked where labor and delivery was. So they're running around the hospital to get there. The only way to stop the pain is to push him out. So next contraction, I pushed and his head came out, and then one more push and the rest of his body came out, and it was absolutely amazing because, like I said, I've never done without an epidural. Um, and it was so quick. Two pushes and he was out. I never thought I could do that. So the parents weren't there, they still hadn't made it. They came in about five minutes after he was born. The photographer was there, so we've got video and pictures. But yeah, it was amazing that your body could do that. And I think it was so quick and so smooth because of everything that I had done before. He was in there so long because my body was strong, we got this, and then when it was time, I'm okay, setting him out now too. So yeah. Um two, I think it was two hours and ten minutes from water breaking to when he was born, and I felt great. I got to the hospital at like 12 45 uh AM and then they had discharged me at 12. So I was there 12 hours. Um, and I felt great. Um, I got home and felt great. I mean, it's definitely different because I didn't have a newborn to take home, but just physically I felt great.

SPEAKER_04 36:07

Did you have any of that void like, oh hey, I don't have these post-labor things to do and this little creature to do them with.

SPEAKER_02 36:19

I did not have that. And I think again, it's just because uh I had so much to do at home already. I was able to get back into my routine pretty quickly, and I pretty immediately started doing bandwork at home because I that was the lifestyle I was living was active strength training stuff, and I I wanted to get back to that. Job done.

SPEAKER_04 36:38

Yes, did my job babies with his parents, and now back to getting me back.

SPEAKER_02 36:42

Yes, so that's what I did. The recovery was super easy, and my husband was very impressed with my postpartum everything, and he was like, I can't believe that you just did that. You almost had a baby in the car, and then you had him that quickly and two pushes, and uh he was impressed with everything. And I do think majority of what it had to do with was how active I was throughout the pregnancy and just getting my body ready. Big question would you be a surrogate again? Seeing them afterwards, the joy, the gratitude. I have a video from the ER room of when the parents came in. The photographer gave one of the nurses the phone and was like, just record everything. So a nurse was recording, and my husband opens the door to the room, and the dad walks in, and then the mom walks in and the baby's crying. So they look at him and the mom just immediately starts crying. I'm still laying on the bed and they're trying to deliver the placenta, and she just comes over to me and just huge embrace, hug, won't let go, you know. And I'm like, go get your baby. And she's just like, no, you know, just so much gratitude for her baby is here, finally here. And so it was so special that moment. And then she got him, and then she brought him over to me, and she's holding my hands when she had him, and it was just so um overwhelmingly. Overwhelmingly, I wasn't even there, yeah. I'm just listening to your story, and I'm like, oh yeah, like I when I watched the video and like I showed like coworkers and stuff, and I'm like just crying because it's so there was such so emotional. And we got them their baby, and he's the cutest five-month-old, and they send me pictures and updates all the time, and my kids see pictures and they're like, Oh, he's so cute. Um, so I would definitely want to do that again for a family if it's in the cards. My husband said he's okay with it, uh, but I am getting older, but um, you have surrogates who are in their 40s, and I think like physically I'm at a good spot. I feel great. And so yeah, we'll see if it's in the cards again.

SPEAKER_04 38:54

What a special angel you are, because there's gonna be a whole bunch of controversy about surrogacy, like you said, but to be able to have the experience that you had and to be able to give that to someone is amazing. Yes. So thank you for for all the mommies out there for doing that because what a gift. At the end of our episode, we always ask, what are you going all in on right now?

SPEAKER_02 39:17

Okay, so I'm going all in on sustainable wellness. What I can do as a busy mama for making sure I'm going to the gym every week, making sure I'm hitting my class numbers that I'm supposed to, which is doable because they're 45 minutes and I can make carve that time out for me. I make simple yet nutritional meals that help get me through. I've got to cook different things for the kids, but like that's just like helps me maintain what I can do to help me be a better mom in this busy time. And, you know, being intentional with my time with my kids because they're only gonna be this little right now. They're only getting older, and I don't want to miss that. So I want to keep up with my wellness, but in like a practical manner.

SPEAKER_00 40:03

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