Ep 15 - Why Balance Is a Myth and Presence Creates Alignment in Midlife

What if balance was never the goal?

In this episode of Midlife Audacity, Celeste DiDona explores why the idea of work-life balance often leaves women feeling more scattered, not more fulfilled, and why presence is the practice that actually creates alignment and flow.

Drawing from personal experience, reflections on midlife, and insights inspired by The Midnight Library, Celeste shares how regret and future-tripping quietly pull us out of our lives, and how divided attention creates mixed energy that disrupts both emotional and physical well-being.

This conversation weaves together presence, energetic coherence, and the body’s wisdom, including a vulnerable reflection on chronic pain as a messenger of misalignment. Celeste invites listeners to rethink balance, choose alignment, and devote themselves to living fully in the moment they are actually in.

If you are navigating midlife transitions, questioning old definitions of success, or feeling called to slow down without losing momentum, this episode offers a grounded, compassionate perspective on what it truly means to live with clarity, integrity, and flow.

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Transcript

Welcome back to midlife audacity. I'm your host Celesta Dona teacher, writer speaker and guide for women who are ready rise into their next chapter boldly, soulfully and unapologetically. 

All let's get into today's episode. was scrolling Facebook and I happened to see one the coaches that I have previously worked with. She had posted something about work like life balance and how that really is sort of a myth and, I was thinking that I never really believed in the word balance. you know, um, I've always questioned that Because the more I paid attention to my life the more I realized that I don't really want. Things to be balanced. I don't want things up in the air at, you holding multiple things all at once. When I'm with my kids. I want to be with my kids. Now I'm not saying that that's always been the case, but that's what I've wanted. That's that would be my desire. When I'm working, I want to working because the work that I do, whether it's in the classroom or whether it's recording this podcast, or whether it's teaching inside, a soul school, that work lights me the F up. So when I'm working one, I'm in that zone. I want to be in that zone uninterrupted and totally inflow. When I'm resting and I'm not good at this, but learning to be when I'm resting. I want to rest with out having the mental overload of the to-do list running in the background, I want to be at rest, And think somewhere along the way. We were taught that balance meant doing all of that at same time. You know, people would say to me, oh my God, you do so much. You know, you really do balance it How do do it? How do balance everything? And For it was never about balancing when I think of balance I think of like being at a playground in old elementary school and you remember the seesaws right? And I think of balance as both Partners on the seesaw. In air completely balanced. But nobody's really having any fun when it's like that. to that's just Standing still in time. And that's not really where the fun is, no one's actually playing. The actual fun of a seesaw is the up and the down. And what makes the Seesaw actually work is that up and down feature where when you hit the ground, you are grounded and anchored and someone else's up in the air, right? And so you're your attention to one or two to other side. and I always think of it that way, um, and for me, Balance. Is. the opposite being present because when you are balancing everything, when you're trying to navigate, 100 different things, all at once. Are you really present? I 
don't think so, I really don't think so. And there's so much that comes from being present Which we're to talk about in a there's so much that comes when you're present. That I often wonder if we've been under this guise, that balances the goal. And I'm really thinking Lately that balance was never the goal. Like we're living by the wrong concept. Balance asks us to manage everything at once. But presents. Really asks us to arrive. Presence is not about multitasking. It's also not about doing less. It's about doing one thing at a with your whole self. Right, your self. And giving 100% of your focus and attention. In that one thing. And it sounds simple. But it's actually one the hardest practices out there is really to practice presence. Because when you're present, you remove all buffers when you're present, you can't escape to the future or to the Past. Which is what so many of us are doing day in. And day out, we spend so much of our time Living in the past past programming. Past regret. Passed. Things that happened to us experiences or we're living in the future. Where were? Dreaming of things that aren't yet. A and when we do that, we really are numbing ourselves out, right? And when you're in present, you're not numb, you are alive. You are truly alive. You are truly living in the moment. and this is such a reminder, to me about The beauty of living in the moment and the power of living in the moment. And I and I know for myself that spent A of my time. In the past or the future. And really not enough of it in the present. And one the things that is so clear to me in my 50s in midlife, and one of the reasons why I'm doing this podcast and talking about living bowling soulfully and unapologetically is that I am devoted to living in the present. Now like I am devoted to it and That's a place that I have not allowed myself to be and it's very empowering and there's a lot of amazing living. That can happen when you are in the present. and ironically, My book club for the month of January, we picked this book called The Midnight Library. It's by Matt Heng. I believe I have to actually look that up if I'm going to be totally certain but in this book it's really a very powerful story. It's a simple but powerful premise. So this woman Nora she gets to explore all the lives that she could have If she had made different choices. So, it takes us through all these different lives, that could have actually been her reality, different career, paths, different relationships, different things that she pursued. and it, it's such fascinating book because what struck me the most Was the lives that she explored? Because she's in the middle of living and dying. So, it's like in this Library, she gets to actually pick books that are filled with these other paths that she could have lived. Had she chosen differently and And struck me really. About this book is that it's not so all these. I say Fantastical lives that could actually been her reality. It was about how much energy She's and how much energy we actually spend on imagining these versions of ourselves, instead of really inhabiting the one that we're in. I mean I do it, you probably do it. We spend an enormous amount energy on all these other versions of lives that we could have had And we forget that we're actually living a life right here. And now, there's so much power in the now and regret pulls us into the past fantasy. Pulls us the future and both quietly. Pull us out of the actual life that were in. And it's funny because in this book, Nora is searching for quote unquote, the perfect life. Edit got really to think about that. Like the perfect life. Is there a perfect life? There's only the life that we're willing to be present for. 

And we get to choose. Within this life. How we wanted go. And the reality that we want to create, that's within power in the moment. In each and every moment. And we end up. Humans you and I end up spending a lot our time and our energy. In two places that really don't exist anymore. We spend a lot of our energy in the past. What should I have done? What I tolerated. What used be and we spend time in the future. Thinking about well, what this doesn't work or what's next? Or when things finally calm down, or when I retire, I'll X. all of this is, Not in the now. Neither one those is being present. An energetically. Here's why that matters. when our attention is divided, Our energy is divided, and when our energy is divided, the signal is totally mixed. right, the signal is totally mixed so it's like you are in old school radio, turning the dial and You hit one station, you hit another station, and it's all staticky. Because you don't have a clear signal. But when you are in the present, and when you are actually with your feet on the ground, And focused on one thing, not all over the place, not trying to balance it You have a very clear signal, you hit the radio station. And there is no static. And that's when flow happens, that's when life, feels like ease and flow because you are on the radio station. You're not in between the stations, your is clear. and when your signal is clear, imagine you being this like radio dial when your is clear. Guess what? People can tap in to your energy. And that's the flow that talking about and they can tap into that energy because your signal is clear and they can hear it. The people that you want to show up, show up because your clear because your energy is not divided, you're trying to balance it all. 

Right. You're not trying to balance at all. Your focused on one thing at a and I wonder if this makes sense to you like And you can only do that one. You are present because that's happening in the now, you're the radio signal. For the life that you want in the now, in the present, it's not in the past and it's not in future. And some you have might have heard. If you follow me on social media, I've posted in stories, a in the probably six to eight weeks about my sciatic pain. That has been running down my right leg and that experience has been humbling and slowing. And also a bit informative because I have been very aware of it and paying attention to my body and listen, I'm not saying that I caused this pain. I don't believe that pain is anyone's Falls, but do believe that the body is always communicating and my body is is definitely communicating. with me and it got me thinking about well, if I'm having this pain in my sciatic and and I have some kind of disc that's putting pressure on my nerve, That means that I'm out of alignment, physically, I'm out of alignment. so, if I'm Physically out of alignment. I wonder if that. Connects with. Me energetically being out of alignment because everything is energy. Right? Everything is energy. so, could my Energetic. Emotional alignment have been off. Which may have caused. The physical. Disability. Or could it over so bend the opposite? Could my physical. Um I'll dislike mint have caused some energetic disconnection. And that could also be. True. Those could those two things could be true. so, everything is energy. Our thoughts on our emotions and attention. And when we're present, our energy is moving in One Direction. There's flow. It has a signal and its following the signal. When we're split. Part us is here, part us, is there. We're sitting on the Seesaw, our energy is strained. And our pain doesn't always. You Mean something's wrong but sometimes it means something is off. and for me, since I've been dealing with this, for last six eight weeks, I definitely have felt off Definitely felt off. And presence brings the energy back into coherence and coherence is what allows flow. so, you know, when think about all of this Coming together. I'm thinking about presents. Equals alignment equals coherence. Equals flow. And flow is not about doing more. It comes from doing one thing out of time. Without self abandoning. With staying true to yourself. and, what is bringing you joy and pleasure and feels really good. Right and staying with that. 

So when I'm present, I know my energy is clean. When my energy is clean, my body feels safer. When my body feels safer things move. And that is why balance. Never felt right to me. It was never about balancing. It was about alignment. Because balancing a implies that you're splitting yourself and Alignment asks you to choose where you are. And you know, some of these things just make sense. Now looking at it from this perspective, you when I'm present my energy is clean and when my energy is clean, my body feels safer. and so maybe there was something that was going on, even at subconscious level, That may have caused me. To be stepping out of present trying to balance too much. That affected my energy. Which therefore affected my body because it no longer felt safe. And that threw my back out, which then caused this. Pinched nerve these are things that 

Are powerful trains of thought that I'm that I go through that. I'm trying to that. I'm trying to reflect on and I think that there are things that Are important for all of us to get her. You know, when, when were Out and about and like I said, being in the present is not always. Easy. But it is a practice that is so worth it. I spend time every day. Being present. In fact, my kids asked me recently over Christmas. They were like why do you Drive. So, often with no radio on. And they do, they catch me a with like no, no sound in car. and I said, because I'm paying attention to all of the beautiful things that surround me And that's the truth. Like I am driving now, is that all the time? No, of course, I'm daydreaming. And thinking about my past or my present right? A of times I'm thinking about either of those things. but, I definitely. 

Prioritize time every day. To being in the present, A lot of times in my car, I am being in the present, I'm watching everything around me, I'm watching other cars, I'm watching the beautiful snow on the trees. I'm watching the, the different curves of road. I am paying attention to the skyline. The changing of seasons. Like, I am very, very present in my car, and I've tried to encourage my children to be the same way because that's actually being very aware as driver as well. That's a whole nother story when you have, when you have young adults who are driving my son just got his license, so guess that's on my mind right now but being present in the car is so important. But I I dedicate and devote time. Every to being present. And to practice because I know how valuable it is and I know that that's where creation happens. Ultimately, that's where creation happens because when you're present, then you're allowing yourself to be in alignment. and when you're in alignment, then you're coherent. And you can listen. And that's when you receive. and I find myself that that's what I'm truly in the flow, like even doing this podcast like, This came to me. when I was, In in the present. Like I was I was in the moment. and it dawned on me and I did not delay in recording this episode because it felt really good to talk about this and to share some of this Insight with all of you. So I'll leave you with this. Where is your energy being split right now? Where are you trying to hold on to everything at once? And what would it feel like to let one side? Of the seesaw. Come down. Fully. And unapologetically. With your two feet. Grounded. On the soil. 

What would that feel like? to just, Stay there. 

And being present is not about getting life, right? It's about being here for. It's about actually living it in the now. 

So, you only get one, your body only gets one. Chance at this. I believe your soul gets many chances at this, but your, your body that you are in the vessel that you are in only gets one shot at this. And so, when want to be here in the moment, making the most out it, 

And that's why I feel like the practice of being present. Is so valuable. Okay guys, I hope you liked this episode.