Ask A Therapist
A place for insight, reflection, and a little humor along the way.
Ask A Therapist
High-Functioning ADHD (Ep. 24)
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In this episode, we respond to a listener letter from a woman in her 40s who was recently diagnosed with ADHD—and is now trying to navigate what that means for her daily life.
We explore how ADHD often shows up differently in women, including the less visible (but equally challenging) symptoms like mental overload, chronic overwhelm, and internal restlessness. We also talk about why so many women go undiagnosed for years—and the emotional impact of finally having answers.
Most importantly, this episode is packed with practical, realistic strategies to help you work with your brain instead of against it. We cover ways to reduce overwhelm, improve focus, follow through on tasks, and strengthen executive functioning without relying on unrealistic routines or sheer willpower.
Whether you’ve been recently diagnosed, suspect you might have ADHD, or simply feel stuck in cycles of distraction and unfinished projects, this conversation offers tools, validation, and a starting point for change.
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Find Kenzie at therapy-with-kenzie.com or @therapywithkenzie
Find Carli at Psychology Today Profile or @carlikinglmft
Hello and welcome. I'm Kenzie. And I'm Carly. And this is Ask a Therapist.
SPEAKER_01Each week we explore life's most relatable questions, from relationships and boundaries to burnout and self-worth, all through a therapist lens.
SPEAKER_00We're licensed therapists, but this isn't therapy. It's a place for insight, reflection, and a little humor along the way. Your questions, our insights, Ask a Therapist.
SPEAKER_01This podcast is intended for entertainment and educational purposes only. The content shared should not be considered a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. We strongly encourage listeners to seek help from a licensed mental health professional for any personal or psychological concerns.
SPEAKER_00Any advice or commentary offered is based solely on the information provided. As such, we cannot guarantee any specific outcomes, and the feedback given should not be interpreted as professional mental health advice. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please call 911, 988, or 211.
SPEAKER_01Okay, hi everybody. Hi Carly. Welcome back to Ask a Therapist. This is episode 24. Um, and this week we have a very interesting submission from a listener who has just found out that they have ADHD. They are in their fees, they are feeling like this is something that they have struggled with but not really known, and so kind of trying to figure out what to do moving forward. Um, so I'm really excited to get into this episode this week. Uh, we want to just share a quick reminder that while our questions are specific to listener submissions, the insight and responses we share are meant to be supportive and applicable to anyone who may be listening. We are excited to explore this with you all. So let's get started. Harley, we will um start with just our highlights of the week. I will share just kind of quickly, I my highlight of the week or a big thing that's happening in my life right now. This is my last week with my group practice. I'm transitioning fully to private practice starting next week. Congratulations. Thank you. I'm so excited. It's so bittersweet. I like love the group that I've been working with, but I feel so excited to start this next chapter and kind of like this has been a dream for so long. So I'm really excited about it. Most of my clients are coming with me, which is super like I feel so thankful for, but definitely bittersweet to like say goodbye to the practice and some clients that won't be transitioning with me, but it's it is very exciting. So I am kind of looking forward to that. But what about you? What are some things that are coming up for you this week?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, that's very exciting, first of all. So congratulations. Yeah, and um, I think we can shout out Revive, the the practice that we both came from, Revive Center for Wellness in Connecticut and Amy and the whole team over there. That's Kinzie and I's connection, I'm sure has a lot to do with both of our development, professional development in the field. So definitely a great practice and and helping to develop some great therapists. But this is the next like step, the next phase. And so I'm really excited for you, and and that's really awesome. And especially to be able to take some clients with you, like to have some people that want to continue and to be able to start with a little bit of a baseline is great. So congratulations. I know it's going to be great for you. I don't have quite as big of a highlight this week. I'm like thinking through what my wins were, and I'm like, I don't know, I'm caught up on my notes. I don't that feels like a win because that doesn't always happen. I'm traveling next week. So things that just feel a little bit busy. I have some things I'm looking forward to and maybe can um report on in a later episode. But yeah, I'm just excited to not be behind on my admin work.
SPEAKER_01Well, that is a huge accomplishment because there is something about I think that I don't know, I feel like so many therapists can like understand this, but I feel like we're so in with our clients, and like that's like the majority, like the bulk of our work is like meeting and processing and doing all these things that the notes, the like 10-minute notes that linger are like, oh, I just need a mental break. Like I'll get to it eventually, and then they pile up. It's so bad. I feel like so many people struggle with it, and it is it's it is probably not great, but it's helpful to have like tools to be able to make it a little bit more straightforward and easier, which honestly is like so applicable for this episode today of like that's exactly what I was thinking is like executive functioning and how that can be a challenge with ADHD.
SPEAKER_00And you know, for therapists specifically or anyone that has to do clinical notes and things like that, it's also it's an it feels like this never-ending task because you can't get ahead of it. Like, you know, I like to plan and kind of like set things up, but you can't pre-write your notes. You have to wait and have the session. And so, like every time, like every day, there's this new set of tasks that you have to complete. Yeah. Especially with me traveling, it means that this week and the week that I come back are like really, really busy. So those are the the weeks where or the days where, you know, after six sessions back to back or maybe one break, like at the end of the day, I don't want to do anything. And my notes never take 10 minutes because I want to look this up and research that, and it takes longer than it needs to. Um and so just like being caught up in and you know, you'll deal with this, I'm sure, plenty. But then there's also just the admin work of running your own practice. It's calling insurance companies and following up on, you know, getting forms from clients and processing payments and like all of those things that are just kind of added tasks. So yeah, I'm feeling a bit accomplished just not being behind in that area. Yeah, that's good.
SPEAKER_01Well, yeah, huge congrats on that. Um, okay, well, let's jump in. We've got a good question, so let's get started. If you are struggling with anxiety, navigating life adjustments, or one of better emotional regulation or communication tools, therapy can help. I'm Kenzie, a licensed professional counselor in Connecticut, offering virtual therapy services to individuals looking for meaningful change. I offer tailored therapeutic care to my clients, as well as an emphasis on a strong therapeutic relationship where you will feel safe to process and grow. Visit www.therapy-with-kenzie. That's k-n-z-i, dot com to learn more or schedule a consultation. Hi, I'm writing as a relatively new listener, and honestly as someone who's still trying to make sense of my own brain. I'm 43 and was only recently diagnosed with ADHD. On one hand, it's been a relief. So many things finally make sense. On the other, I feel like I've been handed a manual decades late, and I'm struggling to figure out how to actually use it. For as long as I can remember, I felt overwhelmed by even normal everyday responsibilities. My mind feels constantly on, but not in a productive way. More like a dozen tabs open at once, all playing different music. I start tasks with good intentions, but rarely see them through from beginning to end. My house is full of half-finished projects, and my to-do lists just seem to grow with nothing actually getting crossed off. I get distracted easily, lose track of what I was doing, and have a hard time focusing for long stretches unless something is really urgent or really interesting. Otherwise, it feels like I'm trying to push through the mental fog. What's been hardest lately is the emotional side of it. I find myself frustrated, sometimes even ashamed, wondering how I got this far in life without understanding why things seem simple for others and feel so but now I see that as more of a defense mechanism to avoid being exposed. So I guess I guess my question is, where do I even start? I'd love to hear practical strategies that actually work in real life, not just in theory. How do you manage that constant feeling of overwhelm? How do you follow through on tasks without getting derailed halfway through? And is it possible to build focus and consistency at this stage in life? I'm open to anything: routines, tools, mindset shifts, things that have worked for you or your listeners. Right now, I just want to feel a little more in control of my day-to-day life. Thanks for your thoughts on this.
SPEAKER_00Wow. Yeah. So this question I've actually seen like up close and personal and more than one client. So as I'm listening to it, I'm like, this sounds like very familiar. Um, and it I think what struck me initially is her focus on like, I'm just finding this out. You know, I'm 43, I'm getting this diagnosis. And while, okay, now, yeah, it some things make more sense, it also just feels late to like learn this about myself. And I find that this is a very, very common thing, particularly in women. Women or really young girls tend to go undiagnosed for longer periods of time than young boys. And that is for a specific reason. Like typically the more hyperactive side of ADHD is just more commonly noticed in boys. Yeah. And because girls tend to show it in slightly different ways, more on the inattention side, it's not always caught. And so you are not alone in feeling like, geez, like why has it taken me so long to figure this out? I think that it's actually a very common thing. And the fact that this listener has found some way to function and like clearly still develop a life where she's perceived as capable and confident, you know, does speak to her resilience. Like it does speak to the fact that, yeah, this has been a challenge and maybe you've been figuring out ways to navigate it, but maybe there are better ways or easier ways to do that. And so my first thought is just like don't be discouraged by the when you're getting the information, let's be glad that you've got it now and just see where we can kind of go from here.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um, I think that that is such an important point in all of this. As you were talking when I was reading the question, I was thinking about like, there's a lot that's popping up about ADHD right now. There's a lot of people that are kind of like, wait, I think that this is something that I struggle with or that I experience. And I think that when to your point, you have gone so long without it being noticed or without being diagnosed with it, it can come with a lot of shame. And I think that there is an element of that in this question of like, I don't want people to know how much I'm struggling. And so I kind of like I've learned to figure it out myself. And so the unraveling, the understanding, it it's gotta be such a big shift of kind of like, okay, now I've got this answer of maybe how I've done things the way I've done them. But it's actually really hard to now switch my patterns because I've got I've probably gotten really, really good at like hiding this or just isolating myself, like essentially internalizing it and and coming up with my own patterns of how not to be like caught. And so expressing it, asking for help, like that probably feels pretty hard or or pretty foreign.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Well, it's much easier to categorize it as like just a personal flaw. Like, I'm just not good at these things, and so I have to compensate for them. And this is actually offering a different frame. Like, yeah, there may be a reason that you're not quite as good as it as good at it as it seems like other people are. Um, and so kind of shifting that from something that maybe needs to be hidden and covered up and like pushed down so that other people don't see it. Um, now, you know, my hope would be that you can kind of figure out how to work with it. And it's not necessarily something that you're hiding, but it's something that you're seeking to understand and seeking to like work with, you know. Yeah. And that that description of feeling overwhelmed, like internal restlessness, the inattention, the difficulty focusing, the difficulty seeing tasks all the way through. Um, these are all very common symptoms of ADHD. But as you can imagine, there are, I'm sure, a lot of people who feel overwhelmed and like would don't even think to seek out if this is something that would actually warrant a diagnosis. So just the fact, I don't know if this person, you know, saw a therapist or went to go see a psychologist and had some testing done. But whatever she's done, she's recognized that she needed some sort of support and sought that out. And so that's the part that I kind of want to highlight is even if you felt the need to kind of do it in secret a little bit or like not expose yourself, you were still willing to get yourself that support to like seek out those answers. Hoping today we can really just offer like a few strategies, practical tips, um, reframes in how she looks at it that just make it feel a little less like a weakness or a flaw and a little more like this is just something about myself that I now understand better. And I I can implement systems and structures to help me better navigate.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because it's not, it's not a flaw. And information is such a tool. And so now it's learning how to work with your brain in a way that like these tools or these strategies are shown to be really helpful in addressing this. And so I think that it probably does feel pretty overwhelming, but it also is like this opens up a whole new door of understanding of being able to create some of these new routines, being able like I think that they had mentioned something of like, is it too late? And I don't think it's ever too late in life to be able to like better learn how to do something. It it takes a little bit more energy and effort to create new patterns of routine or to be able to like or to start doing something maybe a different way. But ultimately in the long run, it's gonna feel a lot easier and hopefully a little bit more natural for your mind, for your brain to kind of conceptualize some of this stuff. So, Carly, what was your answer to the question of where do I even start?
SPEAKER_00Yes, yes. Where do I start? So, in my understanding of ADHD and what tends to work best, this has been reinforced to me several times by a supervisor who reports that he himself has ADHD. And I remember him telling me, like, the most important thing or of the or the first step is acceptance. And he he spoke a little bit more about what he means by that, but oftentimes it's easier to get frustrated with yourself for like the fact that you can't remember something or that, you know, you set out to do one task and you end up doing five other tasks and the one that you started out doesn't get done. And it is often easier to judge yourself and get frustrated than to accept this is a part of the way my brain works. I'm not broken, but if I if I like refuse and reject that and just think I'm supposed to be able to do things a certain way just because that's how they're supposed to be done, you're gonna constantly be frustrated and constantly feel disappointed. And so he gave me a very practical example. He's like, I have a terrible time remembering things. I think that I should be able to remember things, especially important things like people's birthdays and like, you know, things that matter. But I have come to accept that just because I think I should remember something does not mean that I will. And so if I plan something or if I learn of some important date, I have to stop and write it down or put it in my phone. Like I may feel like, oh, I can do it at the end of the day, or you know, after I finish this task, I'll get to it. And every single time I forget. And so just the acceptance of, no, this is how your brain works while it's on your mind, write it down. And so it's just that initial acceptance of this is something I'm gonna have to work with. It's not going away. It's not just because I'm tired or like it's not just a bad day or a bad week or, you know, this is just something about myself that I'm learning to live with. So I think acceptance is the starting point. And the good news is it does sound like the listener is at least at a place where they're not rejecting the information. They feel somewhat relieved to know it. And so it does sound like they're open to, okay, if this is the case, then what do I do? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, absolutely. I think that acceptance in this scenario is so helpful because it like I think that a lot of times when you don't necessarily understand what's happening, there's a a feel of like of just being like of strong arming yourself of like, I just need to get better at this instead of acknowledging and accepting, actually, I just need to create routines and tools to be able to help myself navigate this better or remember this um certain thing. Like, and I think that's almost kind of like, I don't know if fun is the right word, but a lot of like ADHD tools and tricks is almost they're almost like games. Like it's almost kind of like, okay, how can I work with myself to make this feel a little bit more manageable, a little bit easier with my brain? How can I kind of like trick myself into feeling like this is not so overwhelming? I'm not gonna get into this like freeze state. I actually feel like I can do it and I can and I know how to set myself up for success with this. So I think creating a little bit of like a menu of here are things that I know work well for me. I something that I do on my own. I think that there are some ADHD tendencies probably that I can definitely relate to. And something that's super helpful for me is like I set a timer. So if I have to do my notes or if I have to um clean up around the house, I set a timer for like, I don't know, however long I think that it needs to take. At night, I'll set a timer for like 20 minutes and I'll be like, okay, how much of the kitchen can I get cleaned in this 20 minutes? And I try not to be like, I have to do all of the dishes before I put X away or wipe things down. Like I kind of just let myself do as much as I can and and as much as I can get done. The timer is very helpful for me. I also something that I find helpful is like writing everything down, like writing it down in one place, not having random lists all over the place and breaking it up into like super small manageable pieces. So if it's like, okay, I have to do my notes, saying it, like I write down a checklist and I say, like, do two notes, and then I cross that off and I'm like, sweet, got it done. And then, you know, maybe I've got two or four or six more that I have to do, but kind of like each one of those being like a check off the list. So making them a little bit small, a little bit more manageable, not overwhelming myself with like clean the house, do the notes, like that all feels a little bit too broad and a little bit too like overwhelming. I think that's something that is typical for ADHD too, is like a timing thing. Like you always almost kind of like overestimate how long something is gonna take. And so it's like, oh, well, I need like two hours to be able to do this. When really it might only take like half an hour, but it feels so overwhelming. And so it's kind of like try not to get too far ahead of how long something might take. Just kind of say, All right, I've got half an hour. Let me see how much I can get done in this time.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So you're getting into there was clearly some overlap in some of the tips and tricks that that we were thinking. Because when you said turning things into a game, that's actually one of the recommended tactics, especially with children that have ADHD, is gamifying tasks and using timers and things like, oh, let's see how much of your room you can get cleaned in the next 20 minutes. And like, because there is a proclivity like in the in a person's brain with ADHD, there is a higher need for dopamine. And dopamine is like our reward system that helps us to like feel motivated to do things and like be excited to do things. And so when you recognize that about your brain, finding ways to give yourself small rewards or small tasks that you can almost like ring the bell and feel like, ooh, I did it. I got it. And a huge part of that is breaking your tasks down into small enough pieces that they are actually manageable. Yeah. To your point, time blindness is a very real thing. I know I have some of that. I don't know if it's at the level of an ADHD diagnosis, but I know that I tend to underestimate how things, how long things are gonna take. And so, you know, then you end up backing tasks up against each other where if you don't finish one, then everything kind of like falls, um, falls behind. And so, like you were saying, as opposed to clean the house, which might feel like this huge task, I mean, maybe it's just clean one space, just clean the bathroom, or just do, you know, like some smaller portion that you know you're able to complete and get through. Because when you do the larger goal, I can tell you what happens is you're doing one thing, you're doing the dishes, and you happen to look over and you notice that there's like stuff on the floor. And it's like, okay, let me sweep this up real quick. So you stop doing that, you start sweeping the floor. And then while you're sweeping, you remember, oh, I forgot to switch the loads in the laundry. And so you drop the broom and you go to switch the loads, and then you're in the laundry room and you notice something else that needs and at the end of the day. You've got all of these tasks that are started and nothing is finished, and it's incredibly frustrating. So breaking them down into smaller manageable tasks is a huge key. The other thing, or maybe a broader perspective, is structure and routines tend to really, really help with getting things done for someone with ADHD. So you want to make things easier for yourself, not harder. And that can mean things like preparing what your clothes for the gym the night before so that it just makes it easier for you to get up and get moving. One of the key things I find is you have to try to reduce the decisions that you have to make in real time. So thinking ahead to what you're gonna need in order to be successful in going to the gym before work or finishing your notes, you know, after work or things like that. You got to think about like, what all am I gonna need to actually be able to do this and try your best to set yourself up for success. That does require a little bit of planning, a little bit of like stilling yourself enough to be able to think ahead. But those are often the things that help you to be more successful, where in the moment you're not having to decide, do I do this or do I do that? It's already been determined, it's already been laid out. And so you're not having as much internal conflict about what do I do next? Should, you know, what should be prioritized.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. Oh, those are all such good um strategies and tools to use. So I I love this. I wanted to touch on, and the listener didn't necessarily touch on this, but I would assume that there are a decent amount of people that can relate to this. Um, you had mentioned uh like a higher need for dopamine, and something that I think a lot of people in our society right now struggle with is technology use, doom scrolling, and the instant dopamine release that comes from social media sites or watching videos or playing certain games. And um I think that I I had watched a video a couple of years ago um that kind of explained our brains and how they function with social media or how they function with like scrolling. And there's an instant boost, like our brains essentially crave balance. And so when you do something hard, like when you work out or you clean or you do something that essentially is kind of like, oh, this is a little bit of like a difficult challenge, we get that dopamine release because we like our brains want that balance. And so it's kind of like, oh, I actually feel really good after completing this because that was kind of hard. And now my brain is kind of like rewarding me with, oh, this feels really good. I feel like in this balance. And when you're on social media, you get almost these instant like hits of dopamine. And so what's happening is our brains then like because they want to balance out, we start to feel a little bit like worse. We start to feel more fatigued, we start to feel sluggish, like we don't feel good. And so we need another video to like feel a little bit better. And you just get into a uh kind of a trap of continuous scrolling. And when your brain is craving some more dopamine, especially for people with ADHD, it is it's so easily accessible, it's right there. Is it it feels like an addiction a lot of times, but it does not make you feel better in the long run. And so kind of recognizing that too, if that's something that you struggle with, understanding it, accepting it, and creating routines and structure around that kind of use as well, and really engaging in things that actually do make you feel like you accomplish something, like you you have that more steady long-term dopamine release versus that like instantaneous one that really just kind of like messes with the brain signals and and can create a little bit more distress in the long run.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I am so glad you brought up social media because truly I think it is changing the way our brains work and especially ch changing the way that children's brains develop. Because while like, you know, difficulty focusing and things like that, those are things that, you know, kids tend to struggle with and have to learn how to do. They have to learn how to sit still and you know, pay attention to something for like an extended period of time. The way that these devices and social media in particular, and YouTube and Reels and shorts, like everything is short form content, everything is quick. I want it right away, instant gratification, likes, posts, like all of that. It's all very, very fast. And it we're not getting the same amount of practice with having our brains just like slow down a little bit and focus on one thing for an extended period of time. I can say, even myself included, we're constantly doing multiple things, self-included, listen to books while I'm doing the dishes or while I'm, you know, running errands or, you know, in the car driving somewhere, almost always multitasking. And so it is training our brains to become used to something that then when we actually want to complete a test that maybe takes a little more time or a project that requires like, you know, hours or days or weeks of focus, it's not as accessible to us. And so there is an element of this where you can learn to train your brain to do something. And the evidence is that we're already training our brains to do something, and that's part of what's making it so challenging. And so, if by, you know, consuming a lot of social media and things like that on a constant basis, if it's training your bit your brain to be less attentive, that means that reducing that or like limiting your exposure to that can train your brain to do something different. Our brains are very elastic. Even at this age, there's still a lot that you can do, but you have to, like, you do have to train it. And and it doesn't just happen automatically. And unfortunately, by default, most of us are just not that good at it anymore because of social media.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And I think that like, I think a lot of people could benefit from this. But I think even just with this listener saying, like, I feel like I've got 12 different tabs open and all they're all playing different music. Like when so much is happening in your brain at all times, you're firing on all cylinders. You do need your body to relax at some point. You need to be able to train yourself to slow it down, to calm your body to um to go a little bit slower. Even if it's just starts at like, you know, 30 seconds a day of noticing, I'm all over the place right now, and I notice that my, you know, maybe I my anxiety is increased, or I'm just feeling kind of like I have so much to do and I can't get it all done. Um, feeling the overwhelm of that, like slowing down, taking care of yourself, taking those deep breaths, and allowing your brain and your body to just have a couple seconds of peace. I think that that's something that a lot of people could probably benefit from, myself included, of learning how to give our bodies a little bit of a break and a little bit of like resting time and not constantly having to be doing something or accomplishing something.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Well, it's interesting you say that because, you know, one of the things the listener said was she has a hard time unless it's, what did she say, very interesting to her or urgent. And so there is something about the like be becoming consumed with something that can it can be incredibly interesting and like you can dive into it and that you may be able to pay attention to for a long period of time because it's feeding something in your brain. Or if it's really urgent, like maybe you're a person who feels like I work really good under pressure, but if I have too much time, it like almost works against me because there's no urgency, there's nothing to really like push me. You know what I mean? And so I think even recognizing those types of things, one of the things I've recommended for um some clients with ADHD is like they need to give their brain something interesting to chew on. And sometimes that means like trying a new hobby or like doing something new on the weekends, and it's easy for things to become boring. Like you may be, you may be a person that you like to try new things, but then they quickly kind of lose their novelty and you're ready to move on to the next thing. And like that's okay. Let's let's anticipate that that's gonna happen. And maybe you set certain goals of like, I'm gonna try something new every month because I know that really does something for me. And I love to like dig into a new book or a new project or learn something new and interesting. So again, it's like one of those ways of working with the way that you know your brain works as opposed to thinking that it should change and it should be different.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I love that. I think um the only other thing that I was thinking about too, in just terms of what can be helpful, is this might be a little bit of a challenge for this listener, just talking about kind of like, I don't necessarily want people to see that I'm struggling with this kind of stuff, but being around other people can be super helpful in I think that they call it body doubling, which is essentially like have somebody with you, like work with somebody. They don't even necessarily have to be like doing the task with you, but if you have somebody with you to kind of keep you on task, where maybe you have to like, I don't know, switch out your winner and spring clothes and it just feels like this is overwhelming and I know myself. Like, have a friend come over and just hang. Like they don't have to do it with you necessarily, but they can be there to help organize your mind when you start to feel overwhelmed by it and then just kind of be there to make it a little bit more interesting, a little bit more engaging, a little bit more fun, study with people, like study with a study partner, do projects with people at work, like what whatever it is, whatever you can find to work with somebody in any way that that might be. It's okay to ask for help. It might feel like I'm I've I'm so far behind and I'm overwhelmed and I don't want anybody to know this, but it actually might be super, super helpful to just kind of say, hey, I need to get this thing done. Can you essentially just kind of like be with me so that I can focus and I can do this? That's not asking too much of somebody.
SPEAKER_00I like that. I like that a lot. I'm just gonna run through a few other tips and tricks. We don't have to go into them in too much detail. Many of them we already talked about, writing things down, but specifically having like a little notepad that you use for thoughts that just pop up. If you're in the midst of doing something and a thought pops up, like, ooh, I forgot I need to do something, have somewhere that you can write that down. That way you don't have to stop what you're doing to go do it and you're not worried about forgetting to the point earlier, but having like what you could call a distraction notebook or a random thoughts notebook or whatever, something that's always around. Ideally, not your phone, but I get some people need to use the phone. But just have somewhere that you can write things down.
SPEAKER_01Can I add to that really fast? Yeah, yeah, please. I don't know if this necessarily works for everybody, but I've heard to like keep one list, like keep one specific notebook for that kind of stuff, so that it's not just like a million little lists everywhere. Or if you do write it, like tape it in so that you have it all in one area. So yes, I'll add that to that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Otherwise you end up with post-its all around the house and like random notes that, you know, how do you keep track of them? External accountability, which goes a little bit with body doubling, but also just like having a friend maybe that you meet for a walk or that checks in with you about how a project is coming along, can just help to kind of like keep you on task. And so it does take a little bit of vulnerability to ask someone to be there for you in that way, but it can help you, you know, be more successful in getting it done. Shortening the gap between your intention and action. So that kind of goes back to the writing it down, right? Like if you say you're gonna do something, the the either I heard uh Trevor Noah describe it as he has two times. It's like now and not now. And that's it. It's like there's no in between. And so sometimes just the idea of delaying something until later is just not the best idea. If it's something you can take action on right away, then like let's just try to limit that gap so that you're not relying on your later self to remember and pick it back up. Organizing your environment. So, you know, if you are a person who struggles with distractions, maybe doing your work in a room with a television is not the best. Or maybe you need to clean your space and like move things off of your desk so that you're not, you know, constantly distracted by them. Maybe you need some sort of fidget toy or something that you can use that just helps you to kind of like do something with your hands, but then stay focused on a task if you're trying to, you know, watch a video, make it through a training, like something like that. We already said limiting like your projects and tasks, breaking them down into small pieces. And then the last piece being like, expect that there's gonna be inconsistency and plan for it. And I think it goes back to everything that we've been saying, like don't get frustrated that it's happening. Let's notice that it keeps happening and then build a plan around it that's gonna help you to be more successful. And I heard someone describe a strategy for this of like envisioning yourself, your like ideal self, doing it the way that you would want to. And then kind of like looking around at okay, what do I know, what what does that version of myself do? Well, they plan ahead. Well, they meal prep. Well, they, you know, they do these things because it then makes it easier. And so let's not get frustrated. Let's just expect it and then make a plan for how we're gonna deal with it.
SPEAKER_01Uh I love it. Um, the now and not now timing, I've heard something similar of kind of like, if it takes less than 10 minutes, do it now. Like if it's something that can be done super quickly, get it done. And then if it takes a little bit longer, you know, write it down and have a plan for when you're doing it. So um I love that. The only thing that I would end with is to this listener, like, you're already doing so much. You have already gotten yourself to a place of being able to be so successful and get so much done without totally understanding. And so now moving forward, you just have better tools to be able to help yourself moving forward. This can be such an eye-opening experience and opportunity for you where things start to feel easier. This doesn't have to feel more overwhelming, it doesn't have to feel harder. It can feel liberating and freeing and fun too. It can kind of be like, okay, I kind of get myself. Like I know how to work with myself here, work with my brain, gamify some of this stuff and make it a little bit easier. So, you know, absolutely wishing you the best. If if any of our listeners experience any of this and have some tools and tricks of their own, that would be so cool to hear about and we can share as well. Or if, you know, if this listener wants to update us with any, you know, how things are going in the future, we'd love to hear that too.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. Absolutely. Always taking suggestions here. And it kind of goes without saying, but I'll just say it just be just because. Of course, therapy can help, like talking to someone about it. In some instances, medication is appropriate. Like that may be something to talk to a therapist about or talk to your doctor about, and having a sense of community, like talking to other people who can relate and struggle in similar ways can help to just reduce some of the anxiety around it and make you feel a little less alone.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
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