Ask A Therapist
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Ask A Therapist
Perimenopause (Ep. 28)
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This week, we respond to a heartfelt letter from a woman who feels like she's slowly becoming a different version of herself. Between brain fog, irritability, exhaustion, declining motivation, and a changing libido, she's left wondering whether she's experiencing stress, burnout, depression, aging, perimenopause—or some combination of all of the above.
If that resonates, you're not alone.
In this episode, we explore the often-overlooked reality of perimenopause and why so many women enter this stage feeling blindsided. We discuss the physical, emotional, cognitive, and sexual changes that can accompany midlife, why symptoms are frequently misunderstood, and how women can better advocate for themselves when seeking medical care.
We also dive into one of the biggest questions many women face: When is it time to ask for help? You do not have to wait until you're completely depleted before asking for support.
Whether your symptoms stem from hormonal changes, chronic stress, mental health challenges, or a combination of factors, your experience is real and worthy of attention. Midlife is not a test of endurance, and seeking help isn't an overreaction—it's self-care.
Have a question? Email us at info@askatherapistpod.com, use the link below, or DM us on IG or TikTok at @askatherapist_pod
Find Kenzie at therapy-with-kenzie.com or @therapywithkenzie
Find Carli at carlikingtherapy.com or @carlikinglmft
Hello and welcome. I'm Kenzie. And I'm Carly. And this is Ask a Therapist.
SPEAKER_00Each week we explore life's most relatable questions, from relationships and boundaries to burnout and self-worth, all through a therapist lens.
SPEAKER_01We're licensed therapists, but this isn't therapy. It's a place for insight, reflection, and a little humor along the way.
SPEAKER_00Your questions, our insights, Ask a Therapist. This podcast is intended for entertainment and educational purposes only. The content shared should not be considered a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. We strongly encourage listeners to seek help from a licensed mental health professional for any personal or psychological concerns.
SPEAKER_01Any advice or commentary offered is based solely on the information provided. As such, we cannot guarantee any specific outcomes, and the feedback given should not be interpreted as professional mental health advice. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please call 911-988 or 211.
SPEAKER_00All right, hi everybody. Welcome back to Ask a Therapist. This is episode 28. This week we have a letter from a listener who is experiencing perimenopause symptoms. This might be something you've heard recently, but as it as it's mentioned in this letter, there's still so much uncertainty around it. So we're looking forward to diving into it today. We want to share a quick reminder that while our questions are specific to listener submissions, the insight and responses we share are meant to be supportive and applicable to anyone who might be listening. We're excited to explore this with you all. So let's get started. Charlie, how are you?
SPEAKER_01I'm excited to talk about this. There's transparency, a little bit of overlap with some of my experiences. So I'm interested to, you know, talk a little bit about that. But um before we get started, I you mentioned something kind of in passing that I had not heard about. And so I was just curious about it. Um you mentioned using, I think you called it Marco Polo with friends or something. Please like share a little bit about what that is and how you use it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, absolutely. This is not a paid advertisement, but if they if Marco Polo would like to sponsor us, that would be great. But yeah, Marco Polo, I I was talking about how I was like keeping up with friends and doing a lot of Marco Polo's this week. I was talking to Carly about that. So um it is an app, it's called Marco Polo, and you send like video messages to each other. And so I have friends, um, I have one friend that lives in Hawaii, I have another friend that lives in Colorado, I have another friend that lives in Michigan, another one in Virginia. And so we're all kind of over the place, and there's different time zones and everything too. So, like scheduling a FaceTime or time to catch up is just can be like difficult. And so we use this app to keep in touch with each other, and so we will send like life updates, like, you know, here's what's going on. We'll respond to each other's messages, and like it's basically like, you know, it's sometimes it's like there'll be a week or two in between responses, but like once a week we kind of all just like send updates to each other, keep each other updating our lives. Two of my girlfriends, like we started it, and this was probably, I'm trying to think, like, gosh, probably close to five-ish years ago. Like, we've been doing it for like five years, and they live so far, and we only get to see each other once a year, but it feels like we're constantly like just in the loop of each other's lives and like keeping up with each other. So it's a really fun way to keep in touch. Um, I listen to it on my walks and like we'll respond to them. It's like this morning I was getting ready and cleaning up a little bit around the house and I had it playing. I was like, this is like my show that I watch. It's like all just all my friends and their updates and what's going on. So I highly recommend if you have friends that are in different areas that you can't connect with as easily. It's been so great for my friends and I and like just staying up to date in each other's eyes.
SPEAKER_01That makes a lot of sense because I can heart relate to just trying to find a time that works to catch up, can be so hard. Like I have literally put friendship conversations just like on my calendar as if it was an appointment, just so that we could have time to catch up. You know what I mean? Because life gets so busy. And it for me, if it's not on my calendar, like it doesn't happen. So I very much like the idea of being able to like at your leisure, you know, get back to it. I kind of do that with voice notes. I'm like, I'm gonna send this because you can listen to it whenever you want and you can get back to me whenever is convenient for you. But the idea of adding the video component so that it feels a little more personal. I like that. I like that. Now is it it's all everybody's in the group. So like, can everybody see all of the updates, or is it more of a one-on-one thing?
SPEAKER_00No, it's everybody can see it. So I have two different groups, like and there's three of us in these groups. And so, like, usually we rotate. Like my friend Corey will send a video, then Gabby will send a video, then I'll send a video, or like same with my other group, it'll be like Claire, Kaylin, and then me. And so it's and then like, you know, sometimes people will go out of order, but usually it's kind of like once I know once Gabby responds, then I'll go listen to both, and then I'll send my response so that you know it can all be kind of like okay, we're up to up to date on everything. But yeah, everybody can see out.
SPEAKER_01Okay, I like it. New ways to like stay connected, still prioritize your friendships, even when you've got busy schedules. And you've got friends in some cool places, like, you know, going to visit your friend in Hawaii.
SPEAKER_00I would be like, I am definitely coming. Like Dade go visit her, and it was amazing. Like, I I should go back. She, I think she's gonna be there for another year. So I'm kind of like, I probably should try to get back before she moves back to Virginia. It's beautiful, like it was just stunning. So she's living such a cool life, and she's had some fun updates. She's like always at the beach on her videos. I'm like, I I'm with you on that.
SPEAKER_01I've been to Maui and it almost sucked me in. Like I was there with my husband, and we were like really thinking, like, how can we stay? I if we didn't have my daughter at the time, we might not have come back. Like, I know exactly what you mean. The beaches are beautiful and they're free and the weather is beautiful. And it's like, I could kind of live here and just do anything or do nothing. Like, I could just be on the beach all day, and that would be, you know, wonderful. Expensive place, but very, very nice. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It is, it is, yeah. It is. I know. Yeah, it's they're the trade-offs for sure. But I get it. I definitely was contemplating. And you know what? That flight is really, really long. So I also was like, let me just stay here a little bit longer.
SPEAKER_01Now, long flights for me are not a problem. I sleep through flights like they're. I mean, I think we had eight hours, and I probably I don't even know that I got up to use the restroom once. Like I eat flights. That's a skill. That's amazing. At Carly King Therapy, you don't have to navigate life alone. I'm Carly King, a licensed marriage and family therapist, helping individuals, couples, and families work through anxiety, depression, and relationship challenges with compassion and clarity. Using proven approaches like narrative therapy, emotionally focused therapy, and the Gottman method, I help you better understand your story, strengthen your connections, and create lasting, meaningful change. Whether you're facing a difficult transition, working to repair your relationship, or simply wanting to feel more like yourself again, support is closer than you think. With convenient virtual sessions, you can connect from wherever you are. I'm licensed in Pennsylvania, Connecticut, and Florida and accept select insurances. Visit Carly King Therapy. That's E-A-R-L-I-K-I-N-G therapy.com to schedule your free consultation. Carly King Therapy. Support that meets you where you are. Alright, let's jump into this week's question. It says, Hi ladies, I'm writing because I feel like I'm slowly becoming a different version of myself, and I can't tell whether what I'm experiencing is normal burnout, aging, hormones, or something else entirely. I'm 43 and have been generally healthy most of my life. However, over the past year or two, things have begun to shift in ways that are hard to explain and even harder to talk about without sounding dramatic. My moods feel less predictable, I'm more irritable, sensitive, and sometimes overwhelmed by things that never used to bother me. I've also been struggling with brain fog, forgetting simple words, losing my train of thought mid-conversation, walking into rooms and completely blanking on why I'm here. I feel crazy at times. On top of that, my motivation has dropped significantly. I'm exhausted more often than not, even when I get decent sleep, and I'm noticing a decline in my libido, which has started affecting how I feel about myself and my relationship. More and more I hear people referencing peri menopause, which I don't remember anyone discussing when I was younger. While that might provide an explanation for these changes, something about that possibility feels even more daunting. I know I'm no longer in my 20s, but I feel like I was just starting to embrace my 40s and all of the confidence that comes with knowing who you are and what you're about. I feel like the avocado that just reached peak ripeness and already I'm turning brown. I mentioned some of this to my doctor during a checkup earlier this year, and he just agreed, I'm at an age where this starts to happen. He said if my symptoms worsen, we can consider medication options or hormonal therapy to manage my symptoms and set me on my way. Now I'm left wondering, when do I pull the lever and ask for help? I'd love to hear you talk about how women can tell the difference between stress, depression, and hormonal changes during this stage of life. How do you advocate for yourself with doctors? Are there lifestyle changes, treatments, or resources that genuinely help with mood swings, rain fog, and low libido? And maybe most importantly, how do you embrace the aging process when it's unpredictable and makes you feel like you're no longer yourself? Thanks. Kenzie, what do you think about this question?
SPEAKER_00Uh man, it's such a good one. I this is such a good question. I think that they detailed so much of their experience in such a way that I think a lot of people can relate to. So, like with the avocado analogy, like that was that touched me for sure. I also want to echo that, like, you know, this listener is hearing a lot about parametopause. I've seen it around a lot, and like I think that it is a great thing that it's being talked a lot a lot more about. But I think that it is so like, yeah, I mean, it's very possible that it could have been talked about before, and now we're just kind of getting to an age where people where it's kind of like like I'm, you know, hearing more about it now. But I do think that it is great that more people are talking about it, but also it's kind of like there's not too much to that that's like known, I guess, or maybe just from my perspective, I don't know a ton about it. But I was thinking about how like frustrating and kind of unfair it is that it's almost kind of like you you get to this point in life where you're like, right, I'm just starting to figure out like my cycle, or I'm just starting to figure out like my hormones and all of this kind of stuff, and then all of a sudden, like the rug is pulled out from under you and it's completely different. It's this completely new experience that you have to kind of navigate and understand. And, you know, like for a lot of women, when you first start getting your cycle, it's kind of like the hormones are all over the place and you're responding a little bit differently. And so this is this is part of that too. Like this is a transition. You're starting to feel differently. Your hormones are changing, your body is changing. And so, you know, I guess when you're at this point in life, you kind of feel like, okay, I've already learned how to balance a lot of this, and now I feel like I'm having to relearn. And there is a lot of frustration that comes with that.
SPEAKER_01Um, the avocado analogy really resonated with me. I was like, oof, I I hear you on that. Um, because why do they brown so fast? Like the it's like you get this such a small window where they are like not ripe, not ripe, not ripe, and then their peak ripeness for a day, and it's the sorry, but I was like, I completely hear you on that. And I don't remember Perimenopause being discussed when I I mean, I my understanding of menopause was kind of like you get hot flashes, you get a little irritable, and your cycle is unpredictable. That was kind of my understanding. And there is so much like in between, it doesn't even sound like this person in particular is having hot flashes per se. And so it just kind of resonated with me how hard it can be to identify. Because when you don't have like those staple symptoms that are associated with one thing and only one thing, you're right. It kind of becomes like this game of trying to figure out am I just having a rough day? Is this like, is this stress related? Am I depressed? Or is this actually something that could be explained through perimenopause? So just all of the questions and really kind of seeking some validation and some answers and not really feeling all that heard by her doctor, all of those things just really I empathize with the experience. I can relate to some of the like brain fog and kind of like, you know, getting to know yourself and then all of a sudden things change. That feels very disorienting. It feels like you can lose some confidence in yourself and who you are because the things that were once predictable now no longer are. And it's almost like you have to relearn yourself again. So just so many things that we deal with as women, and I empathize with uh with where she is with it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And you brought up, um, and this is something that the listener brought had mentioned, but like, is this stress? Is it depression? Is it hormones, is it perimetopology, like what is happening? What is it? And I think that um it can be helpful to try to like pinpoint, like, okay, what is this exactly? But a lot of times you might not get that answer. And I think like a potentially a more helpful question to look at is like, how much is this impacting my life? Like clearly something is off. I'm not feeling like myself, like this is not how I'm used to functioning. So something is different, something feels off. And I need to pay attention to the fact that like I might not know what it is that is making me feel this way, but I know that I am not feeling the way that I want to. And so, how do I address those symptoms? Like, what are what are some things that I can do to manage that a little bit more overall? And I also just want to highlight like your 40s are such an interesting time. I think that this is a time where a lot of people are carrying probably the heaviest load that they will in their lives of like, you know, you might be going through like, you might be a parent, you might be going through like the most intense time in your career, you might be taking care of your parents. Like you, you're, I think they call it, I can't remember exactly what they call it, but like that in-between generation of like you're taking care of your parents and your kids. And so there is a lot of emotional, physical, mental load that's happening at this time in your life. And so I think that all of those things can kind of contribute to like you might already just be feeling a lot of stress, burnout, feeling like you're overfunctioning in some ways. And then these hormonal changes are adding on probably significantly to what you're already holding.
SPEAKER_01I was thinking something similar, which is like the listener didn't necessarily mention if she herself is a parent or any of the things that you're describing, like if there is anything that she can identify that might have led to some of these changes or be causing some of like, is she experiencing more stress at work? Is she responsible for people outside of herself that maybe like, you know, just adds a different weight? Because when we're trying to like quote unquote get to the root of things, like I do think we have to look at things like contextually. And just my MFT brain is like very systemic, which like it can be all of those things and a com like in combination, right? So it may not just be one thing, but you're absolutely right. You're at a stage where, you know, career-wise, uh, it's quite possible that you're kind of at the peak, you know, in terms of at least in terms of where you've been thus far, that can mean additional responsibilities, that can mean added stress. That can also mean pressure to either advance or like do something different. Sometimes you feel like you kind of plateau in your career. So I wonder if any of that is happening. She mentions being in a relationship and having low libido and like how that's impacting her confidence. I think that is a very, very common one that's hard to navigate when you're in a relationship, right? Because you're used to meeting your needs, helping to meet your partner's needs in a particular way, maybe with a certain frequency or and if you don't kind of have it to give, um, then that can be a hard conversation. It's hard to not take that personally. It's hard to still like maintain that confidence about yourself, even if you're not able to show up in that way. And so I I agree, just kind of like looking at the overall picture, it's a time of life that comes with stressors and changes and transitions. And just traditionally, we we haven't, I don't think societally, societally done a great job at helping women to like recognize what's happening, prepare for it, anticipate it. I don't even remember a lot of conversations like with older women in my life, my mom included, about their experiences. This isn't something that we're just sitting down at dinner, like, ooh, you know, those hot flashes today. I mean, if you're around someone who's going through menopause, you might, you know, just experience some of that. But I don't think we do a great job of talking about it, which is why the experience then feels like so new and unpredictable as we walk through it. So I'm glad I am seeing more on my social media about it. I'm seeing more on television about it. I'm seeing more ads for vitamins and things to kind of like help with it. Now, of course, some of that has to do with my age. I'm sure that's not on everyone's algorithm, but at least more information is out there, you know?
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. And I think that like probably historically people talked to maybe friends about it, like people in the same stage of life, like things that they were going through. But there is a sense of feeling a little bit isolated in it because you're probably like not, like you might be like, oh man, this is hitting me kind of hard, but you're probably also not gonna be like, I was bawling my eyes out with, you know, my feet in the tub, screaming at my husband and eating a cardinal ice. Like you're probably not sharing like all the details. And I do think that social media can be super helpful in that sense of like there's just so much more information out there, and there's there's a way to kind of like connect with people and be like, okay, I feel validated that other people are going through this. And yeah, so I but I think that once you start to get into these certain stages of life, all of a sudden you're like, why is nobody talked about this? This is so hard. And I feel like I'm crazy. Like, are other people experiencing this? Like, is this just me? Um, so you know, and just some like psychoeducation around um when your hormones do fluctuate or change, it impacts your serotonin and your dopamine. So that does influence your mood, your focus, your motivation, your sleep, your libido. And so those are all things that you're kind of like talking about. So, so just to kind of like normalize the experience and to accept and understand that you probably are going to be impacted in these areas. You are going to feel the emotions. You're not crazy. But I think it I think a lot of times whether you're experiencing moon shifts because of your cycle or because of perimenopause or because of menopause, like knowing and expecting these changes to come can be super helpful. So being able to say, like being able to kind of identify and be like, this is happening because, you know, something's happening in my body, this is changing, it can help you ground yourself a little bit so that you're not kind of like, oh, I'm getting super upset about this thing that I normally wouldn't, being able to say, oh, it's probably because of these hormone shifts or fluctuations that I'm happening. Like, let me take a deep breath, let me pause for a second. I might still feel the emotion. I might still feel frustrated or sad or upset or whatever it is. But maybe I also can have a little bit of room for like, this probably wouldn't upset me this much if I wasn't going through this transition or if my hormones weren't being impacted in this way. So let me see if I can just like calm those feelings and those emotions a little bit and respond to them in a way that isn't just kind of like letting my feelings, my hormones, my emotions tug me around. I have a little bit more control over it too.
SPEAKER_01Understanding what's causing something doesn't necessarily change it from impacting you, but it can change how you understand what's happening, which then means in many cases you can develop a better way of like responding and dealing with it. And I'm with you on being able to anticipate because I think for a lot of people, you know, be if menopause was talked about, but not perimenopause, they may not have even realized until after the fact. Like now that I think about it, that whole year or two prior to me actually knowing I was going through menopause, I did have a lot of like conflict at work, or I did find that I was like exhausted every day, or yeah, I was snapping on my kids. And yes, they're at an age where, you know, they tend to get into things, but it was different than maybe, you know, how it was prior. So I think that hindsight sometimes can then help us to that that's what that was. And then you can kind of share that so that the next woman can be a little more prepared. I do want to talk about the doctor experience and kind of like this question of when do I pull the lever to ask for help? I mean, even just it I got the impression that the listener felt a little dismissed. I don't know that that was the doctor's experience. Doctor's intention. They may have just been trying to normalize it. Like, yeah, that kind of happens. You know, if it's causing you distress, then let's take another look at it. And I think that our experiences with doctors can just be like either be so comforting or not. And I know you've shared some of this like with your own experiences. If you feel like a doctor is not listening to you or they're not taking you seriously, it is okay to shop around. Um, I get there are constraints like insurances and things like that. Sometimes you may be limited in terms of what the options are. But um there are healthcare professionals out there who maybe take a little more personalized approach, who will listen a little bit longer. And or, you know, she did mention that it was a man. I wonder if a woman might have responded differently. So part of me just wanted to encourage her like, it's okay if you don't feel like you're getting what you need to potentially shop around for another provider.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And if I can add on to that too, I would also say that, and I can't remember if we've said this in a different episode, but like I think that a lot of times healthcare providers, doctors, whoever are, they're going to follow your lead on some things. So, like, if you're kind of like, yeah, I'm kind of experiencing this, but it's fine. Like, I, you know, I don't really know. They're probably going to kind of be like, okay, well, like just keep monitoring it. Versus if you go in there and you say, like, this is what I'm experiencing, it's severely impacting my quality of life. It's impacting my relationships. I want to figure this out and get to the bottom of it. They probably will like mimic your urgency a little bit and follow your lead on that, which I know can be frustrating. I know it's kind of like, oh, you're the doctor. I want you to tell me what's normal or not. But you do have to be your own biggest advocate. You do have to like they don't know your daily life. They don't know what you're experiencing and what you're going through. So you have to be very detailed. You have to, you have to kind of advocate for yourself in that way. And so if you are going into a provider and just kind of being like, Yeah, I'm not really sure. I don't really know, they probably will brush that off a little bit more versus if you go in there and you say, like, I I need to get this figured out.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. No, I'm I'm really glad you brought that up because it's kind of similar in mental health. Like if you look at the DSM five and the criteria for almost any mental health disorder, oftentimes, like whether or not you have the disorder is based on how much distress it's causing you. Like, so that's a huge factor. If you are downplaying what's happening or you're just not playing paying that close attention, and so you're not necessarily seeing the patterns, then it can be hard to advocate for yourself because it's like, well, yeah, this happens, but I don't know how often, or like kind of sometimes, you know. So I find documenting patterns and your experiences can be incredibly helpful because you will forget if your cycle was a little late that month. Like, write that down. Keep track of that. If you notice that, you know, your moods were shifting and it it was like four days out of a week, like note that because we want to know is that changing from like one day a week to four days to seven days a week? These are things that sometimes you might not notice, just like in isolated cases. But as you start documenting, then you start to see a little bit of a pattern, and then you can take that with you to your healthcare provider and say, like, okay, I've been tracking for the past three months and like this is what I'm noticing. I don't think all of these are isolated. Can we look at some potential options? And if anyone's looking for a good doctor, I have a good one in Pennsylvania who just opened her practice journey well MD. I'm gonna do a little plug, not an ad, but a doctor who will like take what you're saying seriously and and cares about women's health, um, Dr. Toya Gordon. So just a little plug there. But um, yeah, document what you're experiencing so that they can best help you. You know yourself best, but they know the medical profession. So then you can bring that to them and discuss what your options are.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think that that is a great suggestion to document. And I also like what you said about, because that was something that I was thinking of too. When we're doing diagnosing in for mental health, or when we're thinking about what a client like might be experiencing, we do look at how it's impacting their life, the distress, you know, the distress that it might be causing. And so this listener said, like, when do I ask for help? And I think that that's something important to pay attention to. It's just kind of like, all right, it's it's frustrating. I've got these like mood swings that are happening, but it's manageable. It's not, you know, it's it's something that I feel like I can manage on my own. Okay. But the other, you know, the flip side of that of like, when do I ask for help? Is it impacting your day-to-day functioning? Is it impacting your quality of life, your relationships, your work, your relationship with yourself, these different areas and aspects of your life, if it is having a negative impact on that, or if you feel like it really impacting your quality of life, that is a time that you kind of like you do take it seriously. You don't just push it down or brush it off and be like, I don't know, I guess everybody goes through this or experiences it. Like, it's okay to say, this is this is really not how I want to live my life. And I would like some additional tools, resources, support to be able to manage this a little bit better to improve my quality of life.
SPEAKER_01You don't have to wait until you're suffering to do something about it, right? Like there's no awards for sticking it out and like, I made it all the no, you don't have to wait until you are completely overwhelmed or completely burnt out or just, you know, so stressed. You can ask for help a little bit sooner because there are different types of support that we can offer women during this stage. Not everything just means, you know, jumping to medication, although that can be an option. Um, but there are things that you can potentially do, you know, as like half steps if you don't like wait until you're completely suffering. So I wanted to just share some of the like common treatment options that that come up. Of course, there's like antidepressants and anti and anxiety medications that can just help with the symptoms, right? So if you are just having like, you know, depressive moods or episodes or just really heightened anxiety, sometimes that can be managed with medication, sometimes sleep support, depending on if you're having a hard time sleeping, getting to sleep, staying asleep, strength training and exercise. I know we always talk about like moving your body, your diet, your sleep, and and reducing stress, but like all of those things really, really make a difference. And so sometimes even, you know, being more intentional about those things, prioritizing them differently, because maybe in your 20s, you could get away with skipping, you know, your sleep and you could just kind of function. And now it may not be the same thing. It may be like, no, I need to go to bed at this time, or else like I'm not able to function. So maybe being more boundary around prioritizing those things can be um helpful. Reducing alcohol, looking at your nutrition. Sometimes there are foods that we're taking in that are just not helpful to our bodies, like, you know, based on what we're experiencing. Of course, therapy, talking about it, not like holding it all in, reducing your stress. Pelvic floor therapy was one that came up. Um, because sometimes there can be like pain with sex or discomfort supplements. So I mentioned like vitamins and things. There are things on the market to kind of help with this. And hormone therapy. I know that that's one that is like common, it's it's commonly associated with menopause. There's mixed information and research out there about it. Some people have become very much afraid of it because of some of that research. But it is, from my understanding, a very individual thing that you really need to discuss with your doctor to even see if you would be a good candidate for it. Um, and like to make sure that it's appropriate for you and the symptoms that you're experiencing. But there is a lot that we could do. Like I just kind of ran off a list. And so you can start small and kind of see how that helps. And then if you if it feels like you need to escalate, then you can do that as well. So there are things to the to the question about are there actually things that help? Yes, there are things that help, but you're your own individual. And so you're gonna have to like advocate for what you need. There's not a one fix all for every person.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I love that. I love that you, you know, mentioned that, like what economies use because it gives it a sense of control too. This is not all outside of your control. There are things that you have in your control to explore, that you can start doing now, like that in your day-to-day, and that you also can bring up to your doctor or to somebody that you're working with to kind of say, like, okay, what does this all entail? And and figure out a plan that does work best for you to navigate these symptoms and to enhance that quality of life. Something else that I had thought about was, and I think that it goes hand in hand with this idea of like what is in your control. Um, I'm thinking about the last part of their question of like, how do you embrace the aging process when it's unpredictable and it makes you feel like you're no longer yourself? I think that an aspect of this is acceptance. You are stepping into a new stage in your life. And instead of maybe trying to hold on to what was or, you know, what you know this the past like experience has looked like for you, kind of accepting that, like, okay, I'm going through bare menopause potentially, right? And I am experiencing these symptoms, and this is something that that's going to come up. So I need to learn how to work with it. I need to learn how to work with myself, how to take care of myself, how to manage some of these symptoms. But I also, when doing some research for this question, something that came up that I really, really liked was like, this is a really beautiful stage for a lot of women who start to adjust how they view beauty, feminine, femininity, empowerment, like their worth, and just kind of empowering this listener of like stepping into seeing yourself for how much you have done, how much you've accomplished, how much strength you have, how much resilience you have, and and almost trying to incorporate, empower, identify with this like really beautiful stage of womanhood of kind of like, I'm I I am feeling like I know myself and I feel confident in who I am. And yes, this is an adjustment and this is hard, but like, where's it gonna bring me to? Like, what what what's the kind of person that I want to be or how I can use this situation?
SPEAKER_01I really like that. I really like because in a lot of ways, you've paid your dues. It's kind of like, yeah, I'm I'm ready to be done with. And yeah, you know, we didn't the letter didn't touch on this, so I'm not gonna go into too much depth, but it can also bring up feelings around being a parent. The person didn't even mention if they are a parent. And so I don't know how they feel about the like the thought of not being able to have more children. And so, like that can bring up a lot of a lot of thoughts and feelings of like, am I really done? Am I okay with this? And so that that's like a whole separate layer of it. But you're right, it it like everything in life, there are stages, there are transitions, and sometimes we can hold on to the previous stage because it's familiar and it's like kind of what we've come to know and gotten used to and learned to embrace. But life is is about change. Like life is things are constantly changing. And like it, not that there's like a key or a trick to life, but I think the key is figuring out how to navigate those changes as opposed to resisting them. The more you resist, the more like distress you find yourself in as opposed to acceptance and embracing. And then it kind of opens up the door in terms of the things that can the positive things that can come along with it. So I I like that framing and and probably a nice um place to kind of close.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. Um, yes. And we, you know, thank you for this question. I think it's such a good one to bring up and wishing you the best in navigating this. You know, it doesn't you can have that hope and step into this new chapter.
SPEAKER_01It doesn't mean that it's not that it's going to be easy all of the time or that it doesn't come with his challenges, but just keeping that perspective in mind too, I think it's if you'd like to hear our thoughts on a topic that matters to you, email your question to info at ask a therapistpod.com. We'd also like to hear your thoughts on today's topic. What resonated, what didn't, and what did we miss? If you have advice for our listener, please share it. You may just hear your feedback on a future episode. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok at ask a therapist underscore pod. Emails and DMs are always welcome. Also, if you'd like to connect with me or Kenzie and learn more about the services we offer in our private practices, check the show notes for ways to reach us directly. With that, we're signing off. Thanks for listening, and remember, don't wing it, just ask a therapist.
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