Ask A Therapist
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Ask A Therapist
Teens & Body Image (Ep. 29)
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How do you help a daughter who is struggling with body image without accidentally making things worse?
This week, we hear from a mom who's noticing subtle but concerning changes in her teen daughter's relationship with food, weight, and appearance. Like many parents, she's caught between wanting to protect her child and worrying that bringing attention to the issue could make it worse.
In this conversation, we explore the complicated reality of raising girls in a culture saturated with filtered beauty standards, social media comparison, wellness culture, and constant messages about how women and girls should look. We discuss the difference between normal body image struggles and early signs of disordered eating, what language actually helps, and why parents don't need to wait for a crisis before seeking support.
We also talk about the emotional layers underneath body obsession, inherited body shame, and the powerful role parents play in helping daughters build an identity that extends far beyond appearance.
If you're the parent of a teen or have a teen in your life who you care about, you won't want to miss this critical conversation.
Have a question? Email us at info@askatherapistpod.com, use the link below, or DM us on IG or TikTok at @askatherapist_pod
Find Kenzie at therapy-with-kenzie.com or @therapywithkenzie
Find Carli at carlikingtherapy.com or @carlikinglmft
Hello and welcome. I'm Kenzie. And I'm Carly. And this is Ask a Therapist.
SPEAKER_01Each week we explore life's most relatable questions, from relationships and boundaries to burnout and self-worth, all through a therapist lens.
SPEAKER_00We're licensed therapists, but this isn't therapy. It's a place for insight, reflection, and a little humor along the way. Your questions, our insights, Ask a Therapist.
SPEAKER_01This podcast is intended for entertainment and educational purposes only. The content shared should not be considered a substitute for professional mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. We strongly encourage listeners to seek help from a licensed mental health professional for any personal or psychological concerns.
SPEAKER_00Any advice or commentary offered is based solely on the information provided. As such, we cannot guarantee any specific outcomes, and the feedback given should not be interpreted as professional mental health advice. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please call 911-988 or 211. Hi, everybody.
SPEAKER_01Welcome back to Ask a Therapist. This is episode 29. This week we hear from a mom who is worried about her teenage daughter's potential disordered eating and increasing focus on her body image. We want to share a quick reminder that while our questions are specific to listener submissions, the insight and responses we share are meant to be supportive and applicable to anyone who may be listening. We're excited to explore this with you all. So let's get started. Carly, hi, welcome back to another week. I am excited to get into this question with you today. Before we do, just kind of checking in how are things? Any um any updates in your life, any good shows that you're watching or just you know, things in general that you're up to? What is for you?
SPEAKER_00Good shows. Good is relative, okay. Because, you know, I have some shows that in in, you know, forgive me if this is a little dated, but like some shows that started out good, and then I was like, where is this going? So, like, um, if you're a paradise person, like, you know, season two came out this year, and I'm I was like, this is a completely different show. So like I was so excited to watch it, but that was one that like just took a turn for me. And I I was like, I was waiting for it to kind of like catch up and it never quite did. I also feel the same a little bit about your neighbors and friends. That's another one that I like on Apple TV. I really liked season one as John Hamm. But then season two has been okay, but it started taking turns as well. And so I don't know, or or Imperfect Women. That's another one that like really had me roped in. And then I was a little disappointed with the ending. So I don't know. I feel like I've had some things that have like definitely gotten my attention, but none that I'm like, this is the best show of the year. So I don't know. What about you?
SPEAKER_01Okay, okay. Well, wait, first let me ask, are you like uh I'm gonna finish this, even if it's you're maybe kind of like unsure really bad for me to be like, okay, I don't I actually don't care to know what happens here.
SPEAKER_00Usually I'm like begrudgingly like still watching, you know, just to know what happens.
SPEAKER_01Right, right, right, right. Yeah, because I feel like sometimes like certain seasons like will take a dip, and then it'll, you know, like I feel like a lot of shows do kind of start out strong, and then you're like, oh wait, you've lost the plot a little bit, and then hopefully it comes back around. But no, I am chronically late on watching shows. Like I just I do not, I'm never up to date on shows, and it's always like I feel like years later where it's like, oh, I'm like into it, and I'm talking to people about it, and they're like, What? Like, this was like forever ago. My husband and I just finished the first season of Peaky Blinders. I'm like, this is great. And now I'm like asking everybody about it, and they're all like, Yes, we watched that. Like this was so long ago. But first season was great. I'm into it. Um, and looking forward to other seasons. I guess we'll see what happens.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, Peaky Blinders is one that my husband kind of put me on. So I I wasn't like into it at the beginning, but I've just seen enough of it that I kind of like got attached to the storyline a little bit. Um, and I is there a movie? I think there might even be a movie that's coming out or okay.
SPEAKER_01There is. Yeah, because I we I think we had like one episode left of the first season, and I went to go click on it and I clicked on the movie. And you know how sometimes they'll just have like random episodes where you're like, oh, maybe they're giving some backstory or something like that. I got like 10 to 15 minutes into this movie and was like, I don't think that this is the episode. Like, I don't think this is what we're supposed to be watching. So we'll like, oh. So I was like, oh, I'll come back and watch this at a different time. But but yeah, so that is that's you know, that's the only thing that we're watching right now. But I have heard of paradise. I just heard somebody talk about paradise. So maybe I'll we all get to paradise when they're on season like four or five and uh it starts to do it.
SPEAKER_00If it makes it that far, right? Like I think there's they set it up where there could be another season. I don't know how far they can stretch it out. But yeah, I I kind of like anything with a little bit of like mystery suspense, you know, a little bit of drama in there, like that, those types of shows are right up by out. Yeah, yeah, love that. Good. Okay, well, um are you ready to jump in? If you're a parent of an athlete, you already know this recruiting process can feel overwhelming. The pressure to make the right decisions, the uncertainty around recruiting, NIL, and the future, and the fear of getting it wrong. Because today, youth in college sports aren't just about playing anymore. It's a business. And most families are navigating it without a real plan. That's where LIG Sports Group comes in. We serve as a sports asset and career office for athletes and families, bringing clarity, structure, and experience guidance to every decision. From development and recruiting to NIL and long-term positioning, we help you move with intention, not emotion. So your athlete isn't just chasing opportunities, they're building real leverage and long-term value in an unforgiving sports business. Visit LIG Sports.com to learn more.
SPEAKER_01Okay, Carly, our question today comes from a listener who says, Hi, Kenzie and Carly. I'm writing because I'm worried about my teenage daughter, and I feel like I'm walking a very delicate line between wanting to protect her and not wanting to make things worse. My daughter is 15, bright, funny, sensitive, and generally a great kid. Over the last several months, though, I've noticed what feels like a growing fixation on her body and weight. It started subtly, comments about feeling huge, comparing herself to friends and girls online, and wanting to eat healthy. At first, I honestly thought it was pretty typical teenage insecurity, but lately it feels different. She skips meals sometimes or says she's already ate when I know she didn't. She's become very aware of calories and labels, and I've noticed her cutting out more and more foods. She'll stand in front of the mirror and pick herself apart in ways that honestly break my heart because when I look at her, all I see is my beautiful baby girl. The hard to part, the hardest part is I don't know how to talk to talk about it without accidentally making her more self-conscious. I don't want to dismiss her feelings by saying you're beautiful, don't worry about it, because I remember what it felt like to be a teenage girl and I feel deeply uncomfortable and feel deeply uncomfortable in your body. But I also don't want to validate a mindset that seems increasingly unhealthy. I realize how much pressure girls are under these days. Social media, filtered pictures, what I eat in a day videos, fitness culture, constant comparison, it feels relentless. Even when I try to model body acceptance at home, I worry she's absorbing messages everywhere else that are louder than mine. I should also admit that this brings up my own issues. I know my daughter has probably overheard me say things about my own weight or appearance that I wish I could take back. I'm trying hard not to pass that down to her. I don't know if this is quote unquote normal teenage stuff, the beginning of disordered eating, or something in between. But I do know that I don't want it to wait until things get worse before stepping in. How do you support a daughter who is struggling with body image without making food and weight an even bigger focus? When do you seek professional help? What language actually helps? And how do you teach girls to value themselves for more than how they look in the world that seems so obsessed with appearance? Signed a mom trying to get this right. Carly, what are your thoughts on this question?
SPEAKER_00I as the mom of a daughter, I really, really empathize with this question. And honestly, when I read it, the first thing that I felt was like a little bit of conviction myself in terms of like, what has my daughter heard me say about myself and about my own body image that is influencing her perspective on things? And I just hear like the sincerity of the listeners' concerns. It's like, I want to be there for her and make it worse with the things that I say and the things that I maybe feel inclined to say, I don't know if they're actually helpful. So I just hear the sincerity and like trying to get it right and just wanting the best for your kids, but then like recognizing that you're not the only one who influences their perspective on things or who's gonna influence their decision making. And that feels so scary as a parent, right? Because you want your kids to like be influenced by the the most positive things or people. And unfortunately, sometimes like they pick things up or they learn things just based on their own experiences that really do break our hearts and we can't save them from everything, but we want to support them. So I felt all of that in this letter. What about for you?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um, I mean, I think that even just like reading it right now out loud, like there, there were some parts where I almost felt myself getting emotional of like, just you know, I see my baby girl and like it breaks my heart that she's looking at herself this way. And that, you know, something that came up for me when reading this again is like she's like, I don't want to pass this down to her and just like how much of a generational thing this is. Like, and you know, we see it right now. A lot of people are saying, like, skinny culture is back like it was in the 90s, and you know, these messages that are not that that the mom is absolutely right. This is not just happening at home, it's happening on so many different levels. So there's like, you know, there's the home, there's friendships, there's the general just like teenage population, social media online, and then there's like the broader world and marketing and big companies and things like that. And so there's so many different levels of this messaging that is people are having to navigate, especially young girls, constantly. It is a very difficult thing to navigate, I think, as a parent. I want, you know, I appreciate this listener kind of saying, like, I feel like I'm ta walking such a tight rope here between wanting to address it and not wanting to make things worse. I also appreciate that this listener said, like, I know that I've made comments that I'm worried that she maybe took and internalized. And to me, that kind of signals that this listener has their own maybe difficult um experience of body image and what that means. And it it does make me feel for this listener a lot that they're like, did I, you know, did I pass that on somehow? Or are they picking up these messages for me? So that's obviously all things that we can get into. But yeah, this is just you are so, so not alone in this. Um, I am so happy that you're recognizing it, realizing it. Like this letter to me comes from such a good place and of wanting to help your daughter, of wanting to notice these signs and get your daughter help that she might need, and also taking your own perspective into it as well. So I think that it's a really important topic to talk about and and I'm looking forward to diving into it a little bit more.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, yeah. I um I appreciate that context. So, like, first, there's a few things I want to say to the listener to start. There's a few things that I think you're doing really, really well that I just want to acknowledge. The fact that you are noticing this and open to addressing it in as much as you think it will be helpful. I think early intervention is important. So the fact that you're noticing it and you're trying to figure out, okay, what do I do next is very important. Um, it does also sound like the mom is somewhat tuned in to what may be influencing her daughter. Like it sounds like she's not under any delusion. She understands what's what her daughter may be seeing on social media and like the messages that she's receiving. And sometimes, you know, parents are just a little detached or just not aware of, you know, what's on their kids' TikTok and things like that. And it does sound like this mom is tuned in enough that she's aware she's noticing that something might be happening. And that is key. I also appreciate the acknowledgement and accountability of that I may have influenced this, right? And I think as parents, we have to be willing to look at ourselves. Sometimes we want our kids to be like this perfect version of themselves without us working to be the best version of ourselves. And kids are gonna do more of what you uh do than what you say. So inevitably, like the best thing that we can do for our children is give them examples of what like healthy adults look like. That can be healthy relationships, healthy individuals, healthy, you know, embracing our own bodies because ultimately that teaches children something about their own self-worth. And if we think we can tell them to do something and then, you know, talk about our own bodies negatively and that it that those things are incongruent. And so the fact that the mom knows I have some influence on this and I want to take accountability for my part, I think are all great starting points. To the point that you just made, I also just want to acknowledge that from like a societal standpoint, teens these days are living in a completely different world than at least I grew up in. And pretty much anyone who was in uh high school prior to 2010 or 2012, whenever we got these smartphones, it's a completely different world. So the things that they have access to on a daily basis, and like, you know, the dopamine that comes with likes and like seeing people get attention and seeing who gets attention and what type of bodies are deemed beautiful, that stuff, it was absolutely on television and ads and movies, but it was not in our pocket 24-7. Like it was not in our faces the way that it is today. And so it is a different challenge for children these days. And I think as parents, like we also have to understand that. I think sometimes we might downplay that factor, especially if we're on social media and it's like, no, I get it. I understand it's very different when you get that at 12 and 13 and 14 than you know, us as adults. So I think that is a like contextual piece that has to be acknowledged.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, absolutely. And I think that's something that marketing is a very powerful tool and something that social media has done really well in terms of marketing is um they're not necessarily like like society, kind of was like, like, you know, you can't compare yourself to like these A-list celebrities, right? Like this is so different. And so it's now shifted and it's kind of like influencers are telling you what to buy and how to look and what to eat and what fitness programs that you should do to look like them. And we look at them and we say, Oh, these are these are regular people, like these are people like you and I. And so if they're doing it, then this works into it is constant, and it also feels a little bit more like, oh, this this is this person is more like me. So um I think absolutely recognizing that. I think that's something that could be helpful for this listener is like to have those conversations with their daughter around like providing some psychoeducation around that. Because I know for myself at 15, I wouldn't look at an influencer and be like, oh, they're getting paid to like tell me to use the to drink this green juice or to whatever. Like, I I don't know that I would have understood it as well as a parent might or somebody who understands, like, you know, the the marketing side of it. And, you know, we've been talking about like maybe the the responsibility that this listener feels as well. I think that opening up these conversations, I think that being honest about like, you know, your daughter might look at you and say, Well, you do it, like, you know, struggle. Like, I think being able to take that, being it not getting defense around it, not dismissing it to your point, Carly, of kind of like kids are gonna do what you do more than what you say. Like, if you kind of say, like, you know, you shouldn't care about how you look, but you're in the mirror critiquing yourself, why would they like listen to that? And so I think that being able to fall on your sword a little bit and be like, you are absolutely right. And I, you know, I recognize and I realize that this isn't how I want to live. This isn't how I want you to live. Like this is something that maybe I need to take a look at and work on a little bit too. Just owning it and being able to say, You're right. I'm sorry. Like this is this is something that I want to navigate and handle a little bit differently moving forward. You can't go back and change anything, nor like can you expect yourself to be a perfect parent always, but you are so open to learning. You are so open to seeing and moving forward and helping your daughter, and that's what matters. Like that came across so clearly in this letter. And so use that moving forward. Again, Carly, to your point, early intervention matters. I think that working with a therapist, like, you know, it's kind of like when do we seek help? Or like you do not have to wait for things to get really bad. I think that right now is a perfect time, especially because there, to be completely honest, there are some warning signs that I think that you are noticing, paying attention to that are important to address. There is skipping meals, there's lying about already eating, there is calories counting or fixation, there is body checking and self-criticism. Like these are all already some signs that I think are important to address. So I would absolutely recommend um talking to your daughter, finding a therapist. I think finding a therapist that specializes in working with teens and that also has some competency around body image, eating disordered eating, things like that can be really helpful because, you know, your daughter might be defensive, she might be embarrassed, she might be kind of all of these things, but she also probably is pretty. I'm like getting emotional talking about this, but like she probably also is like pretty unhappy and pretty scared and pretty like not in a good place if she's not feeling good about herself and comparing herself to others. And so helping her, even if she doesn't want to, even if she's mad, even if she's embarrassed, like getting her support system, including a therapist, including you and and everybody else in the family, kind of like, you know, like navigating this in a healthy, positive way, I think is really important and and can help mitigate some of those outside influences.
SPEAKER_00Yes. I mean, you just said a lot that I agree with and and kind of want to go back to um, one being the language around it. I very much appreciate the listener saying, like, I don't know how to talk, but I I feel like I need to do something, but I don't know how to approach it. And the acknowledgement of like I may have influenced this. In as much as it may seem hypocritical to then come on the back end and say, like, well, I know I said these things, but you know, this is how I want you to feel about it. I think it's also an opportunity to relate to the daughter and to show that like she's not, there's not something uniquely wrong with her that she's struggling in this way. This is something that people of all ages and sizes and you know, deal with. And so I would think it might be an opportunity to kind of build some common ground and say, like, I even struggle with this. And you may have seen how that showed up for me. And to be honest about, I do want something different for you, just like I want something, you know, different for myself. And so it it can be almost an a like a joining that could potentially happen from that if you're just honest about the fact that, like, yes, I have and sometimes still do struggle with this as well. It also, yes, to therapy. And I that was definitely going to be one of my recommendations. I don't think you have to wait until she meets the criteria for an eating disorder. I would say absolutely don't wait until then. A therapist who specializes in disordered eating and working with teens and adolescents should be equipped to, you know, like help on a preventative side, and that's always where we want to be. It it also just from dealing with this with, you know, some clients and some of my own research, I am familiar with some of the things that are out there. And I know that there's been a little bit of a shift from like what we might consider body positivity to this idea of body neutrality. And I want to just like talk about that for just a minute because you talk about things that happen like over time and like the 90s being like skinny, skinny, skinny. It's funny that you say that because in like a cultural thing, as a young black girl, I was skinny and I didn't want to be quite that skinny. Like I wanted like a little bit more of a figure, you know what I mean? So it's interesting how those things influence what we perceive as beautiful or desirable, you know, in a body. But there has been shifts over time from like skinny, skinny, skinny to then like more voluntuous bodies and, you know, a lot of surgeries and things that have come along with that of people trying to make their bodies look a particular way. And so then I think people saw that and were kind of like, well, no, we should embrace our bodies. Body positivity. I love my body. My body is beautiful at all sizes, and like trying to embrace it. And then there's been like this counter to that that that is a little bit dismissive of people's real concerns about their bodies and dismissive of a real health issue that we have in the United States with our food and like what that means for how it shapes our bodies, how it how it can keep us sick in many ways, how it feeds into big pharma. Like there's whole, I mean, think pieces and about all of this and how it all like kind of weaves together. And so there's been this like Push for body neutrality, which is more of a focus on our bodies kind of like not being so focused on what our bodies look like and kind of looking at the usefulness and the functionality of our bodies and trying to appreciate that. Like I am not defined by just how my body looks and how attractive I am to other people. But I'm grateful to my body that it allows me to, you know, walk or to have movement or to dance or to, you know, be able to do the things that I want to do. Think like as we learn more, we try to shift the language around it. But I hear the mom and like, it's kind of hard to keep up. Do I tell her she's beautiful? Do I not focus on the beauty? It's like it almost feels like no matter what you say, you know, you can't quite get it right. Yeah. Yeah, sure.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. I think, you know, I I think also at this age, right? There's not, it's not super easy to talk to your teenage daughter. Like, you know, you you um probably are getting the uh short end of the stick in terms of like you're probably not gonna say the right thing, but uh and that's just because you're mom and um you've got a teenage daughter. But I like your suggestion, Carly, of like finding that that commonality, like it being a way to kind of say, to invite connection, to not be um kind of like, oh, I I'm noticing you doing this, and and like putting a little bit of uh like causing the daughter to maybe feel defensive or to feel um angry or upset. I think that just noticing some of the behavior, being like, hey, like I've noticed that you're doing this. I want to, I want to get curious around it. Um, I don't know that you need to say that, but in our our kind of language, it's like getting curious around it. Hey, I've noticed that you're doing this, or I've noticed some of these behaviors, I want to talk to you about it. And just open that door and allow for some conversation. I would imagine that your daughter is holding a lot on her own, and it might be a really nice opportunity for somebody to notice it and to open that door to have that conversation and that there's some emotions that would come up around it. And so just being open to like hearing, understanding the emotions behind it, holding that with your daughter, like holding her while she's navigating all of this, I think is a good way of bringing it up and also just like remaining calm yourself, right? Like, like you said, Carly, this is something that a lot of people experience. And so don't jump to like this huge fear of like, oh my gosh, she's gonna have an eating disorder, or like we need to fix this, or like like you need to model some of the calm energy as well of like, I know how hard this is. Like, I am here with you, we're gonna figure this out together. I've got you. Um, and and just let your daughter know that like you are mom, you're in the position of being able to help her navigate through this because you are, you know, strong enough for for both of you to navigate this.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I mean, I like your suggestion of language around curiosity, of like, you know, it I noticed that you seem to be kind of stressed around food. Like, can we talk about that? Or I notice you wanting to change your diet. Like, I wonder what are you trying to accomplish with that? Or is there a reason that you're wanting to shift away from certain foods or toward other foods, or you're working out a lot and like great for being healthy, but you know, if the daughter plays three sports and then she's also trying to exercise on the weekends, like, you know, like what's happening there? So kind of noticing it with her, I think is important. If you make it a secret, secret thing that we don't talk about or try to avoid it, it can also send the wrong message. And so I think like being a little more direct, expressing your care, you know, I care more about how you feel than how you look or how much you weigh. And encouraging her, like, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be healthy, but not all healthy bodies look the same. And so if you're wanting to make changes to be healthier, I can support you in that, right? Maybe there are some things like as a family that you'd be willing to shift a little bit more, like, yeah, I want to eat more vegetables. That's probably a good thing for everyone in the family. So maybe that's like an accommodation that can be made that isn't necessarily negative. But let's talk about the reasoning behind it and what we're hoping to accomplish by doing this. Is this about making our bodies feel better and making them more functional and stronger and better, better able to serve us? Or is this just about, I can't stand my thighs and like I'll do anything to get them to go down, right? Like, like what is the intention behind it? And so I think like talking to your daughter about that really opens up the door and lets her know this is not something she has to carry on her own, even if she's resistant at first. It at least lets her know, like, no, mom sees and mom's paying attention. And if I do want to talk about it, I can go to mom. But I think your point about therapy can be helpful. It is also okay to say you may not want to talk to me about some of these things, and that's okay. I'd rather you talk to someone than keep it all to yourself. And so I do think that can be a great way to kind of like introduce the option of therapy.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Yeah, that I think that that's such a good point, too, because you know, the way that we're talking about it, like, you know, there's the idealized of like, oh yes, she's gonna be like, oh, you know, I'm gonna talk to mom. She also has a teen that's going through her own, you know, last episode we talked about like hormonal shifts. There is definitely a real possibility of like wanting to hide or feel defensive or all these things. So that that is an okay, like that is a response to anticipate as well. And don't feel discouraged if that happens. Like you can kind of say, like, listen, I understand that you might not want to talk to me about this, but I do, you know, I do want you to talk to somebody about it. So let's find somebody that you feel comfortable with. Like, I'll set this up, I'll get this appointment for you, I'll take you there. And then, you know, maybe then there'll be a little bit more resources or um comfort around those conversations happening with you in the future. But um I think, you know, no matter what, getting your daughter the support to have this be more of a preventative thing than like um a thing that you're trying to address if it gets if it goes any farther is important. Yes.
SPEAKER_00Yes, for sure. I don't know if you have more thoughts. I'm kind of like coming to the close of mine, but I think one of the maybe lasting messages that I want to leave with this mom is like the just the fact that she is noticing that is is key. That is important. But the fact that she cares enough to want to handle it in a way that helped her that's helpful, that's also key. You may also be able to work with whatever therapist is uh use for your daughter. That person may be able to offer like some language around or some suggestions and even things to look out for um, to know if it's escalating. And so I think the way that you handle this is to not keep it in the dark, but as you highlight it, to not make it about her desire to look a particular way being in and of itself a problem. I mean, as women, we know what it's like to grow up as a teen girl and your body is changing and you know, like sometimes adjusting to like as your body is kind of filling out, like some things grow faster than others, some things like catch up later. And so, you know, kind of reminding her that this body that you're in today is not necessarily the body that you're always gonna have. And so it's gonna continue to shift and change. And we want to love and embrace our bodies at every stage, even when it doesn't look exactly how we think it should. And so, you know, I I think this mom is already on the right track. And I I guess I'm hopeful that other people listening that may not notice some of these things as quite as a problem just yet, that it kind of peaks your ears and you're like, ooh, like maybe this is something to pay attention to. Or maybe you're the mom of a younger daughter and you know that you say things about your body in front of her, and you're like, okay, let me shift this now before she gets to that stage. So I very much appreciate the question just in terms of how it allows us to, you know, give a little bit of attention to this topic before it becomes full-fledged something that, you know, it is now in the danger zone.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. Um, I just want to echo that. I there was so obvious how much like love and care there is for your daughter, like that this listener showed for their daughter. And so it was, I I I feel like this type of a question just shows who you are as a mom. And so definitely just want to echo that you are on the right path and you are doing the right things in being curious around it and in noticing some of this stuff. Carly, to your point about any moms with young daughters, young kids out there, I think one of the best things that you can do for your children around their own sense of their body and how they feel about it is to not critique your own and to not um, you know, like they will, they will hear that, they will internalize it probably. And so being kind to yourself and showing yourself love and doing what makes you feel good and make what makes you feel healthy will have such a huge impact on your kids. And for anybody who's listening to this, like, shit, like I have not done that and I am feeling really bad or guilty about it, like you're human too. And these messages are probably passed on to you. And so if it's something that you're noticing, like take some time to reflect on it and it's something that you can use moving forward. Like, none of us are perfect, nobody's a perfect parent, but we all can kind of like acknowledge here's some things that maybe I could do differently, or some things that I even can like say I'm sorry about, or some things that I can be open to if my kids have a problem with in the future. Um, and that's okay. And that's that is very positive parenting as well.
SPEAKER_00Agreed. Agreed. They say, you know, our most important relationship is our relationship with ourselves. And I've heard someone say, I won't say it verbatim because I don't remember, but what it boiled down to is like the best thing you can do is teach your kid to have a good relationship with themselves because like that is the relationship that it they're gonna carry with them throughout the rest of their lives. And so this is a form of that. Just like we're responsible to teach our children how to emotion emotionally regulate or to teach them how to have boundaries and standards. And this is a part of that. And so this is a part of your daughter's relationship with herself. And like we keep saying, what you model matters a lot more than what you say. If you'd like to hear our thoughts on a topic that matters to you, email your question to infotaskatherapistpod.com. We'd also like to hear your thoughts on today's topic. What resonated, what didn't, and what did we miss? If you have advice for our listener, please share it. You may just hear your feedback on a future episode. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok at ask a therapist underscore pod. Emails and DMs are always welcome. Also, if you'd like to connect with me or Kenzie and learn more about the services we offer in our private practices, check the show notes for ways to reach us directly. With that, we're signing off. Thanks for listening, and remember, don't wing it, just ask a therapist.
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