How to Be Authentic Without Oversharing | Becoming Your Future Self | Brave Moves

What does it really mean to be authentic, without feeling like you have to share everything?

In this episode of Brave Moves, Julie DeLucca-Collins explores the tension many women feel between wanting to be authentic and being taught to “keep it together” and not share personal struggles.

This episode dives into the concept of becoming your future self and why waiting until you feel ready can keep you stuck. Julie shares how authenticity is not about oversharing, but about aligning your actions, thoughts, and behaviors with the version of yourself you are becoming.

If you’ve ever felt like you don’t fully belong where you are, or you’re afraid to show up before you feel ready, this episode will encourage you to take small, courageous steps forward.

In This Episode

• What authenticity really means (and what it doesn’t)
• How to become your future self starting today
• Why you may outgrow people, environments, and identities
• How to build new connections and communities
• A Brave Move to help you stop waiting and start becoming

Key Takeaway

You don’t become your future self someday—you become her through the choices you make today.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

You know, my brain really hurts because everyone keeps telling you to be authentic, but what does that really mean? And if you're anything like me and you were a race, not to share too much, not to air your dairy laundry, not to let people see the things that aren't perfect. Well, if I'm being honest, it drives me crazy because I've always been of the school of thought that, hey, this is me, warts and all. And if I have a thought, you're probably going to hear it. If I believe strongly in something, you're probably going to know about it. And being authentic to me is not editing myself as I go. And in this world, honestly, it seems that even though people are telling you to be authentic, show up like yourself, you're also supposed to be editing yourself. You're also supposed to be, you know, kind of skirt around the issues and definitely not rock the boat. But perhaps sometimes you need to be someone that enjoys the boat rocking. Now, I want to talk to you about something that I think women struggle with. And that is authenticity. And without feeling like you're exposing everything, which by the way, again, you need to find what the level of exposure that you have is best for you. But at the same time, I want you to not miss out because you are editing yourself because you think that you're sharing too much or because you're not sharing enough. I hope I'm making sense with all of this, but honestly, here's the analogy, right? All of us are going to have a different tolerance to the sun. I know that I can go out in the sun and I'm not necessarily going to get really red like a lobster, like Dan, but I can burn and I don't like getting all that much sun. And when I do get a lot of sun rather than getting nice and rosy, I get really dark and ashy. And I don't enjoy that. Now, for you, maybe you're like my husband, you go out in the sun and you need to be lathered up in 75 um sunscreen with a hat and gloves and all of it. And perhaps you really do enjoy the sun and you want to be out there. But that level of exposure is not good for you as well. So if you're confused by all of this, perfect. I'm so glad that you're here because this is me being being authentic. And I want to share with you that sometimes there's so many different thoughts that go through my brain, and that really is part of who I am. Now, why am I talking about this? Well, stay with me till the end because the reality is I have a gift for your future self. And I want you to become that future self, even if you feel that you are not ready. And if this is the first time, my friend, that you're here, this is Brave Moves. It's a daily podcast that I started as an experiment. I started this podcast because, well, I wanted to show other women that we can show up in perfectly. And sometimes we have to figure it out as I go along. So many times I see women waiting for the credentials to launch their coaching business, or waiting till they retire to pursue that traveling that they always want to do. Or, you know, we sit in the sidelines thinking, oh, that could never be me. Well, honey, it can be, it should be, and it will be if you're just giving yourself the opportunity to be able to step into that. Now, this podcast started again because I wanted to be able to share with you some of the thoughts, ideas that have allowed me to move confidently in the direction of my dreams. And I do so by moving every day bravely. Listen, and my effort every day is gonna vary from day to day. But again, showing up is half the battle, and that's how we win the war. Now, I grew up believing that you don't share everything. And I did that because I grew up with a family that, you know, you had to kind of um not show that there were problems and things were kind of put under the rug. And it was embarrassing if people knew that you were struggling with something. And it really created a lot of well, shame issues for me. I think that at times I want to be loud and unbuttoned, and yet I hear it in the background. I hear the voices from my childhood saying, Oh, sit up, straighten up, what are you doing? Um, and I'm sure that is not unique to myself. I'm sure this happens to other people. But at times, you know, when we keep it together, when you present yourself in a certain way and you don't let people see the mess, you are living in a world that is not real. You're living in a world that people are not getting to see the real you. And I bet you that the real you is something that resonates with someone out there. It's something that will make the connection. Now, you don't need to really explain who you are, why you are, and where you're going, but you need to be able to live in the freedom of knowing that no matter what opportunity you're entering into, you're showing up as yourself. You know, authenticity doesn't mean telling everybody everything. It means telling the truth about who you are. And without abandoning who you are in the process. And here's the thing that gets real for me, right? The version of me, the future version of me that I know I'm meant to become. Well, she's got a going on, girlfriend. She's confident, she shows up, she doesn't let life pass her by. And that version of me, honestly, the more that I think about Julie in the future, well, I don't want her to be optional. I don't want her to be just a dream, I want her to be a reality. And I think that that also applies to you. I think that if you look at your future self, you want that person to come about. You don't want to not live your dreams and live the things that you envision for yourself. But here's the thing: if we wake up in 20 years from now and think, I had a chance and I didn't take it, or I could have, or I would have. And the tension is that as we grow and you build and you evolve, you are giving yourself the opportunity to thrive. Now, have you ever heard the phrase new levels, new devils? Well, that's what happens. And the future self that you are becoming is something that you work on now. You don't wake up one morning and say, Oh, I became her. No, you practice at becoming her every single day. And you will have, because these new levels bring challenges, new doubts, new fears, new moments where you question yourself and you question everything that you're doing. And it wouldn't be easy if it wasn't worth it. Anything worth having is gonna mean that we're going to change, evolve, be uncomfortable, and then make ourselves into the person that we envision becoming, not make ourselves into something that we're not because we're trying to please, because we're trying to go with the flow, because we're trying to, well, fit in. So you become that version of you that you are dreaming about becoming today. Maybe you're gonna be the person who in the middle of the night decides, you know what, I'm not gonna wait until I've retired. I'm not gonna wait until my husband times has time off. I'm gonna book myself on a trip. I'm gonna book myself to Iceland. Hey, by the way, if you want to go to Iceland, Iceland Air has 333 round trip tickets in April, and this is 2026, but just putting that out there. Um, and you know what? When you decide that you're gonna move in the direction of your dreams, when you decide that you're gonna act like that person today and not wait and be her authentically today, then oh my God, there's so much freedom on that. You know, start acting, start being, stop accepting that you can become that person by allowing your voice to be heard today, by allowing your freedom to dance, to embrace, to try new things, and to not sit on the sidelines thinking, well, what are people gonna think if I do that? Right. So here are the small ways that I want you to think about how you can become that future self, the way you speak today, the way you think today, the way that you show up, the way that you are choosing courage over comfort. And here's something else that I want to say. You are probably also in the whole process of this, and we've talked about this in the podcast before, you're going to outgrow people. Yep, you are. And you may feel like you don't belong anywhere because you were doing something for so long and that you're doing something different, and it's really scary. But sometimes that's your signal that you're building something new. So find new people, create new spaces, and open the door instead of waiting to be invited in the door, open the door, barge in, go in. Because the truth is, my friend, you can't find people if you keep hiding away and if you keep being something that you're not. Now, you don't have to share everything to be authentic, but you do have to be honest about who you are becoming. And if you're in a season where things feel messy, where you don't have it all together, my friend, you're not behind. You're becoming. And that is our brave move for you and for me. So I will talk to you later. Make sure that you keep striving and trying and thriving.